The First Human Spectre
by Octo8
Summary: ME1; Tali and Shepard are viewpoint characters with romance in later chapters. Shepard has been appointed the first human Spectre, but that does not mean he will play nice with either Council or Alliance. He will catch Saren doing things his own way. Heavy anti-Alliance slant in later chapters.
1. Ch1: The Marvels of the Citadel

**A little extended introduction: The "purpose" of this is fanfic is threefold: 1) Have a Tali/Shep Romance in ME1, 2) have Shepard not be restricted by the dialogue and action choices the game presents you, that is, have some alternate dialogue/action paths and 3) smooth over some issues I always found a bit odd in the game; nothing major, though. So, if you see a derivation from how it was in the game, it is most likely deliberate. Romance development will not really show up for quite some chapters, but in any case Tali and Shepard will be the two alternating viewpoint characters. And that is also a general warning I should probably include: This fanfic is very slow-paced and long-drawn. Especially the first chapters will not be very much about action. Just so those whose tastes run otherwise might know.**

oooooo**  
**

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya realised that she was absolutely not cut for this sort of situations. Generally, she prided herself on being resourceful she was an excellent machinist, knew geth electronics inside-out, had sufficient military training, and could probably utilise and repair just about any mechanic or electronic system. But secret deals in shady backroom corridors, with unknown, alien opposite sides, on a space station housing nearly a dozen races? That was something else entirely and taxed her capabilities most sorely. After all, after 300 years far away from any planets, mostly isolated from other societies and crammed on ships so overpopulated that they left little room for any sort of secrets, quarian culture did not truly include movies or novels with spy plots any more (though there had been such things on Rannoch, the quarian homeworld), so Tali could not even draw from bad fictionalisations of such events, never mind having any real experience with them.

It was not like she had a choice, though, as her situation had become desperate. It was ironic, in a way the data she possessed had great value, she knew that. Few people had ever successfully captured data directly from a geth platform, and the information revealed about Saren Arterius, apparently a turian Spectre, had potentially great political weight. And yet all that potential value had been of absolutely no use to her. In the past days she had been forced to live in the streets, to seek medical treatment in a charity hospital, and generally to hide like a fugitive. In fact, it had been this very data which had caused all this, as Saren was now hunting her.

Tali had never wanted to be drawn into galactic politics, of course. No self respecting quarian would ever want to have anything to do with that, not after what their race had experienced after the Geth War. All she had wanted was to find that perfect prize she could return home to finish her pilgrimage, ideally ignored by any other society. However, as the last three centuries had shown to the quarians, the universe was an imperfect one and most of the time people did not get what they wanted, or even what they deserved. Instead, they got to face realities. So since Saren was in fact hunting her, she had taken actions to do something about it actions that in the end had led to her current, uncomfortable situation.

Dr Chloe, the human doctor running the hospital where she had been treated, had informed her about the so-called Shadow Broker, apparently an information broker of great and wide-ranging resources. Though reluctant at first, Dr Chloe had put her into contact with Fist, an agent of this mysterious figure. Like Chloe, Fist was a human, though what Tali primarily associated with him was not his race, but rather his repulsive nature. Why such a man would make a good contact for the Shadow Broker, or for well, anybody, she could not quite fathom. Still, she worked out a meeting time and place with him, for her to meet the Shadow Broker, and that was after all that mattered. Or so she had thought. Now, she was not quite so sure any more. After having waited two hours for the Shadow Broker to appear, she began to have second thoughts. The corridor she was standing in was very far away from any traffic lane, far away from any people, and full of clutter and dark corners. _Perfect ambush territory. Keelah, and I only have my shotgun with me. Anybody really hostile will make short work of me._ And the more she waited, the more such thoughts she had, and the more nervous she became.

After two hours on the edge, finally she noticed somebody coming. Two people in fact, armed and fully armoured salarians. Nervously, Tali's hand went to grab her shotgun, but a third figure, a turian with the strangest face paintings she had ever seen, came into view, making calming gestures. "Calm down," he said, walking towards her. "Where is the data? Did you bring it?".

This was definitely not the way Tali had envisioned the meeting. _Who the hell is this guy? Surely not the Shadow Broker._ "Where is the Shadow Broker?" she asked tensely "Where is Fist?"

"They'll be here" the turian answered, tracing the outline of her helmet with his talons. "Where is the evidence?"

That was definitely not good. Maybe Tali was paranoid, but a little paranoia seemed like a good idea in this situation. "No way," she replied, "The deal's off."

The turian looked to his two salarian guards and stepped back from her. Tali narrowed her eyes just as she had feared. This were not agents of the Shadow Broker, but a hostile third party. Saren's agents, most likely. But they were way too confident, taking all the time in the world. Before they could even properly bring their guns in position, Tali threw a tech proximity mine at them and jumped behind one of the crates. This, however, proved to be only a short term solution. The salarians had been knocked back by the mine, but their shields were hardly scratched. And while Tali had a weapon, a shotgun is not exactly the best choice for suppressive fire, meaning her enemies could close in again. Tali cursed Fist and the entire situation, trying to gain distance. Walking backwards, she fired several pot-shots at her opponents, but she knew this would not distract them for long, and in a serious fire fight she would have no chance. Still, practical as she and most her people were, for now she concentrated merely on firing and walking.

Thus she was stunned when she saw the salarians, and the oddly face-painted turian, too, suddenly receiving way more fire than her gun could ever provide, causing their shields to flare up wildly.

_What in the ancestors name?_

A quick glance revealed that a three men fireteam had joined in on the fight, apparently for whatever reasons on her side. She held off wondering for later, though. If she survived this, she would have all the time in the world to ask questions, but that was still a rather unsure if, and so she kept firing. Her enemies, on their part, now dug in behind crates, too, and a vicious firefight ensured. It was clear, though, that those thugs were no match for the newcomers, who acted like professional soldiers. Two humans and, _ancestors preserve_, a krogan. One of the humans, apparently the team leader, gestured her to stay safe behind one of the ubiquitous crates, and then ordered his comrades to rush forwards. From that point on, the fight lasted only some short more seconds.

_And I thought those salarians dangerous. Careful now. The threat is not over yet, not before I know who those people are._

When she heard no gun fire any more, Tali left her position, walking towards the team. The krogan was one of the biggest she had ever seen, admittedly not many on her pilgrimage so far, and the two humans still glowed blue with biotic energies. _Ancestors, who were those people?_ They had just saved her, true enough, but she still did not feel entirely secure yet. Her heart pumped at the highest frequencies and she was still utterly nervous.

"Fist set me up," she blurted out, the first thing that came to mind, more to herself than her apparent saviours, "I knew I couldn't trust him."

The team leader nodded, saying: "Are you all right? Were you hurt in the fight?"

"I'm okay," Tali replied, though she still was not fully ready to trust him. "I know how to look out for myself. Not that I do not appreciate the help." That was probably the best neutral middle ground, not offending her saviours and not opening out too much to a potential new threat, either.

The krogan made a somewhat frightening sound somewhere between a grunt and a laugh, but the human speaking to her ignored him:"You are the quarian who wanted to make a deal with the Shadow Broker?"

"Yes. The name is Tali, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. And just who are you?"

"Commander Jonathan Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy. My sources told me you might have proof linking the Spectre Saren Arterius to the geth attacks on our colony on Eden Prime."

She breathed out, deeply relieved. Just as she had suspected, military professionals. That was good, very good. Officials would most likely not shoot her, and the Alliance did have a valid interest in discovering facts, instead of hushing things up or violently cutting down loose ends. "This is correct," she answered. "If you want the evidence, then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But we should talk about this somewhere more private and safe."

"Indeed. I already had sent one of my soldiers notifying the Human embassy in advance, so if you would please follow us to there, Miss... Zorah? Or is it Miss nar Rayya?"

That question both amused and surprised her. The stumbling did absolutely not fit to the warrior she had just observed, but few enough bothered with quarian cultural sensibilities to ask such things at all. Of course, maybe he was just very rigid with right etiquette, many military officers were after all and that across many species. Hence she should not bore him with details: "My people use the given name as short form in most situations, so you can just call me Tali. Zorah is my clan name, so if I understand human naming conventions correct it would be Miss Zorah... but as said, that would be an unusual construction among quarians."

"Well then, Tali..." the Commander replied, making a gesture for her to get to move. "Let's get to some less shady parts of the Citadel."

And so they did. In fact, the public elevator they were soon using could hardly go to a less shady part of the station than their destination the Presidium, heart of political power in the entire, galaxy-spanning Citadel Space. She had been here before, of course, once shortly, immediately upon arriving at the station. It was after all, still a public place, even though one including many off-limits locations, most famously the Citadel Tower, the nearly fabled meeting place of the Council. And truly, the Presidium had been a magnificent sight to behold, with its lush gardens, its pristine lake and its elegant architecture. Not the best place to hide, though, so she had quickly left the area again.

_Maybe I should have stayed here. After all, C-Sec would never allow open firefights here,_ she thought wryly. _Then again, most likely they also would not have allowed any injured quarian staying day and night cycles in the streets._

"You should probably know," Commander Shepard began after having entered the elevator, "Fist is dead. Killed by Wrex, the krogan here, under the Shadow Broker's orders."

Another reminder of the danger of these people, but still it was rather good news.

"That is good. I do not think of myself as revengeful or vicious," Tali replied more or less truthfully, "but Fist was dangerous."

"And while we are at introductions as said, that is Urdnot Wrex, bounty hunter. And this here is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, regular crew member of the _SSV Normandy_, the ship I am also stationed on."

"Well then, Commander Jonathan Shepard, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and Urdnot Wrex, thank you again for saving my life, and also for taking care of Fist."

"Rank and family name is usually enough in human naming conventions," Alenko chimed in.

"I must admit," Shepard continued, "I have never seen one of your people before."

_How could it be any different?_ Tali thought and replied: "There are only few of us left. No more than 17 million people on the Migrant Fleet, plus way less than half a million outside it at any given time."

"I see," Shepard answered, with some caution in his voice. "I know about the geth rebellion of course, but only in abstract. Never learned much detail about it."

"Huh," Wrex commented from behind the two, "what is there to know? The quarians built a slave race, and then lost against them. Hard."

"The geth were no slave race," Tali hissed, outraged. "'Slave' implies living, sentient creatures. 'Race' also implies living creatures. The geth are neither. They are just machines. A faulty production series of machines."

She actually felt a little self-conscious after this outburst, in front of people they had just gotten to know. And Wrex had been part of the effort to save her life. Nonetheless, all she had said was simply the plain truth, so she decided to regret none of it. And judging by the quick, sharp look Commander Shepard was giving the krogan he did not really appreciate his comment, either.

"Well, living or not, that seems like a highly sophisticated philosophical question to me" he said. "Nothing that helps you on the battlefield. Purely pragmatically, it seems we and your people now have a common enemy."

"Yes, I have heard about the attack on the Eden Prime colony," Tali answered. And in fact, it had left her utterly dumbfounded. A major geth attack, on what was probably the most important colony of a Citadel Space race, after centuries of hiding? She had been on a geth planet herself when she had learned, hence used to the constant threat the machines represented, and still the implications had sent chills down her spine. She could only imagine what sort of uproar these news would cause on the Flotilla. "It is disquieting, especially for us quarians. Since the end of their rebellion, the geth have remained hidden from organic life behind the Perseus Veil. If they attack now, it might mean they have prepared for war for over three centuries!"

Shepard shook his head. "This was not a planetary conquest, though, or anything like that. It was a major strike, yes, but it seems to have had well defined aims. They came solely for the prothean beacon that had been unearthed there, captured it and left again."

"They did also try to blow up large parts of the colony," Kaidan argued.

"The parts they had operated in," Shepard replied. "To destroy evidence, most likely."

"You were there when it happened? Tali asked, somewhat stunned.

"In the midst of it all. We ran right into the attack, the only Alliance ship within range to offer military support to the colony. So I have first hand experience with the geth now. Fought enough on them on the planet."

"You are too modest, Commander," Alenko commented. "It was you who saved the colony from blowing up."

"It was you who actually defused the explosives, Lieutenant. The team did it."

Well, that definitely made Tali's respect for the human Commander rise by several magnitudes. Not only the successful rescue of a colony. That was good, but still a rather distant fact to her. That he apparently also had rather successfully fought geth with just an impromptu attack force and no reinforcements at hand, though, that was of course something every quarian could appreciate very much.

_Even if the geth have prepared for war so long, it seems organics can still be every bit a match for them._

The surprisingly slow elevator arrived at its destination just as Shepard wrapped up his explanation: "Unfortunately a Spectre we had on board got killed in action. Backstabbed and shot by Saren, most likely. So that's why we are here, reporting to the Council. They did not believe our story, though. Saren even mocked us at the hearing, present via tele-hologram. Your proof will hopefully shut him up good. Too bad I won't be able to see his face."

Tali followed him outside, into the Presidium. Seeing the place again was quite less of an experience for her than her first brief exposure to it. She could at first not quite put a finger on it - nothing had changed in the place, after all.

_It feels empty_ she realised _Almost lifeless and over-sterile. And gaudy other races with more plentiful resources can afford to have some ceremonial decorum beyond mere practicalities, especially at such important places, but this goes way beyond that. A ten kilometres ring dedicated to nothing else but the self-celebration of Citadel Space, its members and its Council is just silly and wasteful. The Presidium would probably be able to house half the people of the Migrant Fleet!_

As far as she was concerned, it only went to show that good taste was nothing that could be bought with ample resources.

The humans walking at her sides seemed to view it differently, though. It was of course difficult to discern, what with them being aliens, and new to the galactic scene as well. Tali's translator program did not yet have all human body language cues properly installed as with anything else, translator technology on the Flotilla lagged behind some decades, so the best they had came from when humans had just been discovered by the turians. Still, as far as she could discern it, the two humans seemed amazed, or even a little bit joyous about the view of the Presidium, having wide eyes and a the smallest hint of smiles on their faces. Wrex on the other hand seemed entirely unmoved in either direction. Of course, from what little Tali had seen of him it would be rather surprising if he were in fact moved by anything at all.

Once, over three hundred standard years ago, the quarians had an embassy here, too, being a respected associated member of the Citadel, renowned for their technological and engineering skills, and respected as a society rapidly building up a technological utopia, based on automated labour. That had ended with the Geth War, when the Council had added insult to injury and the quarians had lost their associate membership. They of course had not been the first race to lose their embassy, that were the krogan, and they also were not the last, as that were the batarians. And in the meanwhile, a new race had been granted an embassy, only some short years after their first discovery. The Migrant Fleet did not quite know yet what to think of those newcomers, the humans from Earth, as contact with them had been very limited in the short time, not even thirty years, since their first appearance on the galactic scene. If bothered to think about them at all, most quarians would mention their excessive ambition, their attempts to claim large swathes of space all at once, and their apparently never-ending zeal for ever greater political power. Troublemakers, in short, if not quite as violent as the batarians, the previous enfant terrible of Citadel politics. However, right now of course, Tali was quite glad about their presence on the Citadel. Nobody would dare attack one of the official embassies on the Presidium. She was safe for now.

oooooo

Being seamlessly integrated into the wider architecture of the Presidium ring, just as all 'buildings' here, there was nothing really remarkable about the human embassy. Like all its surroundings it was elegantly curved, spotlessly clean and shining white. Immediately upon entrance, an aide took them in, and directed them to the balcony. Gunnery Chief Williams stood at the entrance of it, visibly uncomfortable in this place and relieved to see Shepard appearing again. Next to her stood Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson. All three looked rather intensely at the Commander's arrival, anxious to see what he had achieved.

"You are not making my life easy, Shepard," Udina began. "Gunnery Chief Williams informed me about your plan, and I see you got the quarian, but firefights in the wards? An all-out assault on Chora's Den? Was that really necessary?"

Shepard sighed inwardly. _How had such an aggressive and short-tempered man been chosen for the most important diplomatic position humanity had?_ he wondered. Maybe there were some advantages in aggressive negotiating, but the problem with Udina was that his short temper affected absolutely everything, not just Council audiences and the like.

"That firefight was started by Saren's agents, who were attacking her" he replied, pointing towards Tali. "We arrived just in time. And had we been any subtler in Chora's Den we maybe would not have arrived in time."

"Hm. I suppose it is nothing that cannot be smoothed out. Was your little operation a success, at least?"

"Yes, Ambassador. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, the quarian, does have evidence linking Saren to the attack on Eden Prime."

"Really? What do you have , Miss Zorah?"

"An audio file, recovered from a geth memory core," she answered, with a clear and steady voice. Shepard liked how professionally she carried herself in this situation, especially so shortly after having been the target of a firefight.

"I thought the geth had self-defence mechanisms frying their memories when they die or when extraction is attempted," Captain Anderson commented.

"Maybe you should start at the beginning, the Ambassador suggested. Audio files may be contested as evidence, anyway, so we might need contextual information."

"Right", Tali answered, "I was on my pilgrimage. I still am, in fact. It is a tradition among my people, our rite of passage into adulthood."

"I have heard little of it," the Ambassador commented, "quarian cultural information is hard to come by. Some kind of challenge to prove one's worth, if I remember correctly?"

"Yes. When we reach maturity, we leave the ships of our parents and our people behind. Alone we search the stars, only returning to the Flotilla once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood. Often, it is merely a symbolical act, but I wanted more, something of real value. During my travels, I began hearing reports of geth activity, outside the Perseus Veil. Since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond it, so I was curious. I found a patrol of them, and tracked it to an uncharted world. I waited for one to become separated from its unit, then I disabled it and removed its memory core."

Shepard was intrigued. Just having passed adolescence, isolated from the environment she had known all her life, this young quarian had been able to hide from geth, disable one, bypass all mechanical security and capture the data. And apparently she was also ambitious and self-secure. Putting this into words he said: "That is rather impressive, especially considering what Captain Anderson said about the geth's memory self-destruct mechanisms. How did you manage to gain the data?"

"Thanks," Tali answered. "It is possible if you know how, and my people created the geth, so we know best how. If you're quick, careful and lucky, you have a chance to save small caches of data. I was lucky. Most of the core was wiped clean, but I managed to salvage some general information, and some files from its audio databanks."

She fiddled with her omni-tool, and a voice filled the balcony: "Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."

"That's Saren's voice!" Captain Anderson exclaimed. "That proves he was behind the attack!"

Anger rose in Shepard. That goddamn turian bastard. He was it. He had brought war to pristine Eden Prime. And then denied it all and called for humanity's 'proper role' as good, obedient little servants at the Council meeting. "We got that son of a bitch," he said, almost hissed, laying all his viciousness and vindication into it. He had to compose himself, _would not do to make a scene in front of Udina_, before continuing: "What is that 'Conduit' that he mentioned, though?"

"I have not heard of a 'Conduit' in this whole affair before," Captain Anderson replied, "but it seems finding it is the overall aim of Saren. If the beacon aided him in that, then maybe it's some sort of prothean technology. A potent weapon, in the worst case."

"Wait," Tali interjected, "there is more. Saren wasn't working alone."

Again Saren's voice could be heard, this time followed by a female one: "And one one step closer to the return of the Reapers."

"I don't recognise that other voice," Udina commented, "the one talking about Reapers."

"And just what are those 'Reapers'"? Shepard asked. "Pretty dramatic name. A new alien species, maybe?"

"The geth data catches I salvaged had information on that as well," Tali answered. "According to them, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race, and it was them who wiped out the protheans fifty thousand years ago. They hunted them to total extinction, and then they vanished. The geth revere them as pinnacle of non-organic life, and think Saren knows how to bring them back." She seemed to realise how enormous this all sounded, and went on somewhat self-consciously: "At least, that is what the geth believe. According to the memory core."

The extinction of the protheans - _A campaign of war spanning the entire galaxy... violence in untold dimensions... the end of all living things_... That that was what he had seen on Eden Prime. Violence, blood and warfare. The end of the protheans. And the Reapers had done it, apparently. He felt a little nauseated by all that. _Dear God, over what have I stumbled here?_

The ambassador seemed to share Tali's doubts, though. "Sounds a little far fetched," he commented.

_Sure, he has not seen the vision._ Shepard wondered whether anybody would ever truly understand him concerning that experience, and also believe him. He rubbed his forehead and finally managed to bring out: "It's... it's not."

That got their attention, and they all looked a bit queerly at him. And he still felt somewhat weak.

"The vision," he continued, "The vision on Eden Prime. I understand it now. A prothean beacon, showing the protheans being wiped out by the Reapers."

"So you claim Saren wants to bring back the race who destroyed the protheans?" Udina asked. "The Council's just going to love that."

Just what Shepard had thought, too. _The ambassador is right, no way was the Council going to believe that. If the Reapers were really returning, then all evidence on that, and hence the security of the galaxy, hinges on a small comment on an audio file and a garbled vision. Just great. _ "They won't believe it," he admitted, "but at least it proves Saren is a traitor. They will have to believe that much, at least." _Little steps can be taken, at least._

"That is true, Commander. Miss Zorah, if you would be so kind to transfer your data, so that I in turn can transfer it to the Council? This should give us an audience in a matter of minutes."

Tali nodded, typing on her omni-tool to do so.

"It is probably best if you and Commander Shepard will appear at the Council in person. They are unlikely to make specific questions, but it's always better to be sure. And maybe one of the _Normandy_'s ground team as a guard. Anderson, you and the rest of your people can stay in the embassy in the meanwhile."

Just as Udina had predicted, the confirmation of an audience came quickly enough, and the Council wanted to see them in a matter of minutes, something that made the ambassador smile gleefully.

_Maybe that is why he always seems so short tempered: He just takes every victory and every defeat personally. Heh, that might even help him in diplomacy, as it guarantees he will always without end work and push towards success._

Be that it may, now he was over-energetic. He directed Shepard and Tali towards the embassy's own Diplomatic Shuttle, urging them to make haste. Shepard for his part chose Kaidan as the token 'guard'. It was not just that he was a biotic, and that hence he did not need weapons, which were of course barred in the Council chamber. The Commander did not truly think anything could happen there. However, Chief Williams would most likely have been either frightened or bored to death by all the politics around her. She had been nervous enough the first time they had been summoned before the Council.

The shuttle landed at the Citadel Tower, where the Council Chamber was located, at the very top. _A cheap symbolism_, as Shepard thought. A theme that continued in the Chamber itself: It was strangely enough not very well decorated, there were no insignia or signs of glory - however, it covered a very wide space, and the places of the Councillors were removed from the petitioners by a very wide gap. The petitioners had to stand on a sort of bridge leading halfway over the gap, while the Council could look down on them. _Even more nonsensical symbolism._ Udina showed some skill in it, too, though, placing the timing of their arrival just right, so that the Council could not display its dominance by having them wait. The small group arrived just mere seconds before the three Councillors entered, walking with obvious and surely highly trained gravitas and dignity to their respective stations.

"This meeting of the council," the asari councillor and current chairwoman began "is in session."

"We have gone over the proof you presented to us," the salarian continued. "The implications of geth data for the science and intelligence communities will be interesting, but more to the point the evidence against Saren is damning."

The asari typed something on her work station, and once again the audio clip could be heard. Ambassador Udina smirked, still glowing from the vindication he and Shepard had just received.

"You wanted proof?" he shouted, "There it is!"

"This evidence is irrefutable, ambassador" the turian councillor replied. Even across the species barrier one could her the dismay and disappointment in his voice. Or maybe the translators provided that. "Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes."

"I recognise the other voice," the asari commented, "the one speaking with Saren. Matriarch Benezia."

"An asari matriarch is helping Saren?" Udina asked, sounding both unbelieving and worried.

"This is troubling indeed. Matriarchs are powerful asari who have entered the final stage of their lives. Revered for their wisdom and experiences, they serve as guides and mentors to my people. Matriarch Benezia is a powerful biotic and she had many followers. She will make a formidable ally to Saren."

"I'm more interested in the Reapers," the salarian went on. "Your files, ambassador, claims the geth revere them as gods, and see Saren as their prophet. Do you have any additional information?"

"Not yet" Udina replied, "but the geth have attacked a human colony, and Saren has directed them. This makes this information highly important!"

"There is also the fact that they wiped out the protheans fifty thousand years ago," Shepard interjected. _Damn it all, maybe they will not believe me, but how many people have a chance at all to speak before the Council? It's worth trying, at least._"If the geth are right about Saren, that he wants to bring them back, then the entire galaxy is threatened."

Udina seemed to be a bit troubled, maybe even embarrassed by Shepard's comment, but did go on: "We believe that is why Saren is searching the Conduit. It might be vital in bringing those 'Reapers' back. That is why he attacked Eden Prime."

"Do you even know what this 'Conduit' is?" the salarian asked.

"Not yet," Udina answered, "but it is clearly Saren's strategical aim. We must be quicker than him. Whatever it is, Saren thought it worth an attack on a colony, the murder of a fellow spectre and the risk of exposure to his rogue activities! That makes it quite a strategical objective for us, too!"

"And Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers", Shepard added. "That is bad enough. Ambassador Udina is right, we must stop Saren and find this Conduit!"

"Listen to what you are saying!" the turian exclaimed. "Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Ridiculous. Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? Do you have any more proof besides the say-so of some rogue machines thinking they are alive?"

_If nobody else, at least Tali sure might like this guy,_ Shepard thought. _Damn, I had not planned to mention the beacon again. They were right after all a vision, how ridiculous! And yet, it was not just a vision. It had been an effect of the beacon, prothean technology._

"I saw it happening!" he thus began, almost shouting. "On Eden Prime. This was not just a hallucination. It was triggered by the prothean beacon on Eden Prime. The protheans themselves had recorded their extinction!" He paused for a moment, unsure. "It is not exactly readily verifiable information, but it is additional evidence. It adds up."

"Direct neural stimulation is one of the leading theories for how prothean communication technology worked," the salarian councillor admitted. "Still, this is too flimsy as proof. The beacon is destroyed, and we do not know for sure whether it really was a communication attempt or normal stress-induced hallucinations. Meaning no offence, Commander, we just do not know. This makes an alternate explanation far more reasonable: That Saren is using the Reapers, a fictional construct, for memetic engineering, his way to control the geth."

"Possible," Shepard admitted, his anger rising. "All matter of things are possible, though. Would you bet your life on it? Or maybe gamble with the lives of everybody in the galaxy? If Saren is a lunatic, or lying to the geth, then we have nothing to worry. But if not, and if Saren finds the conduit, then the Reapers will destroy everything!"

"Saren is a rogue Spectre on the run for his life," the turian replied. "He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre, the Council has stripped him of his position. There is no way he will achieve anything at all."

"That is not enough!" Udina replied. He was in his element now again, shouting even at the Council and pushing for additional concessions as if his life were at stake.

_This time it maybe even is,_ Shepard thought dryly.

"You know he is hiding somewhere in the Traverse," the ambassador thundered, "You know he is still in contact with the geth. He is still a danger. Send your fleet in!"

"A fleet cannot track down one man," the salarian answered.

"It would secure the entire region. Saren and his geth are still out there, a Citadel fleet would ensure they do not attack any further human colonies."

"Or it could ensure a war with the Terminus Systems" the turian said. "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies!"

"Few dozen human colonies?" Shepard exclaimed. _That goddamn bastard_. "Are you always that callous with the lives of other species, _Councillor_?" The way he spat the title out it was practically an insult. "Would you also do the same if turian colonies and turian lives at stake? Hell, if it were not for those few dozen human colonies, the Attican Traverse today would still be just as lawless as the Terminus Systems. And yet, every time humanity asks for help you ignore us!"

"Shepard is right," Udina agreed, "I'm sick of this Council and its anti-human bullsh..."

"Ambassador!" the asari interrupted. "There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies."

She looked to the turian councillor for approval, revealing the inner power structures of the Council. The turian understood immediately what she meant, but he did not agree: "No! It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."

_Naming me Spectre_ Shepard had not expected that this would come up again. Yet, it made sense. He could see what the asari wanted to achieve. And it was something at least. _Small steps, again,_ he thought, and said: "You don't have to send in a fleet, and the ambassador gets his human Spectre. Clever, a diplomatic compromise and additionally it will look like the Council actually did something about the situation!"

The turian lunged forwards a bit at that, clearly provoked. But then he looked to his asari counterpart, and nodded. All three councillors began to type on their work stations.

"Commander Shepard, step forwards," the asari ordered, and continued when he had: "It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen." the salarian went on in a clearly ceremonial voice, "Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle. Those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol", the asari explained in the same tone, "the embodiment of courage, determination and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

Even the turian took part in this ceremonial speech: "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander", the asari finished the speech, "This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."

"I'm honoured, councillors" Shepard answered, moved by the ceremony, despite all circumstances.

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorised to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him."

"I'll find him," Shepard promised. _How strange,_ he thought. He never had been one for ceremonies, but this one, with himself at the centre, had left him emboldened and ready to take on the galaxy.

...

"Congratulations, Shepard", Captain Anderson greeted the Commander back in the embassy. "Humanity's first Spectre."

Udina seemed more reserved and thoughtful "We've got a lot of work to do," he said "You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies... Anderson, come with me, we will have to coordinate all this."

Anderson gave Shepard a slight smile and a shrug, before following the energetic Udina out of the room and leaving the Commander behind together with Williams, Alenko, Tali and Wrex.

"Hm," Wrex commented. "So you are a Spectre now? You don't look much different since you left. I could still take you on."

"Yeaaah, comforting thought," Shepard answered.

"Nothing like some stabilising continuity," Alenko joked.

"Especially as it looks like you'll be on the move again soon, sir," Williams commented.

"Sure looks like," Shepard replied. "Udina looked like he won't be wasting any time." He turned to Tali. "Well then, Tali, as I'm surely soon recalled on short notice, and you're certainly anxious to go on with your pilgrimage thank you again. Without your evidence this all would not have been possible. Where will you go now?"

"That... depends." The quarian seemed to hesitate, which surprised Shepard, given how self-secure she so far had always been. "I would be willing to offer my help to you in your fight. You know I can handle myself, you saw me in the alley, and well, I could offer my experience and knowledge concerning the geth."

This left Shepard surprised. _Well, I already did agree to have Wrex come along. But then, you can always use a biotic krogan supersoldier. And if Tali is really in her 'rite of passage into adulthood' how old is she? That all might be a bit too much for her. Then again..._ To win time, Shepard asked about the most immediate thing that appeared like an obstacle to him: "And what about your pilgrimage then?"

"Officially, so to say, I am on my pilgrimage from the time I leave the Flotilla to the time I return. How we spend that time and how we try to find anything of value is up entirely to us. It would not interrupt the pilgrimage, merely changing its course for a bit. And through this rite we are expected to show our willingness to give for the greater good. Saren is a threat to everybody, including the quarians. This is how I feel I could best serve that greater good."

"I could use expertise on the geth," Shepard mused, and it was true. The Alliance did not exactly have many informations on those synthetics, and he would surely encounter them en masse in the near future, seeing how Saren controlled them. He sighed. "All right. You made your case, and you are right. Welcome in the team. And thank you."

At that moment Shepard found it too bad he could not see the quarian's face. Judging by her unsure movements, she seemed to be uncertain, maybe flustered, but without any facial impression it was hard to tell. "No," she said finally, "thank you for giving me this chance."

"Touching," Wrex commented sarcastically.

"Any ideas where you will go, Commander?" Alenko asked. "The Traverse is a big place."

"Hopefully the Council can give me some leads," Shepard answered. "Or Udina."

"What about that turian at C-Sec, Agent Vakarian? Maybe his data hunt had some success."

After having met Garrus Vakarian under interesting circumstances at Dr Chloe's hospital, Shepard had asked him to look up and gather all information he could find about Saren. Saren was a spectre, of course, so surely not well registered and documented, but if somebody had additional information about him, it was C-Sec. And Vakarian also had assured Shepard he could handle some decrypted files, too. Still, whatever he might found would most likely be known to the Council as well, so the Commander had no too high hopes.

_Still, better than nothing._

"You're right, Lieutenant. Maybe I should pay him a visit, see how far he has come. Until the ambassador finds a ship for me, or gives me some resources so that I can buy permanent transit, so long I'll be stuck here on the Citadel anyway. Mind, it's a great place to be stuck in, but it would be even greater if I could finally hunt down Saren."

"He is way ahead of you and knows that you're coming, Sir" Williams analysed. "Sounds like your chances will be small no matter the transport. Uh, no offence, Sir."

Shepard chuckled at that. He liked what he had seen of the Gunnery Chief's wit and temperament in the short time the two had been assigned to the same ship, and it was always quite humorous when she caught herself having been out of line.

"It's easy," Wrex disagreed, "Saren wants the Conduit. Find the Conduit, and you have Saren."

"Yeah, quite easy," Williams replied, "except that we do not even know just what the hell it is. Never mind where."

"Neither does Saren," Shepard pointed out. "Or he would have used it already. So I'll just have to be quicker in finding it."

"Could you, though, Commander?" Alenko wondered. "I mean, not to drag you down or anything, but since we do not know what it is, you could walk right besides it without even knowing."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, well," he said, "I already have somebody for the sheer fire-power, and somebody with knowledge about the geth. Seems I need to extend my team and find somebody with knowledge about the protheans."

"You could extend your collections of aliens, sir" Williams quipped. "Ask a hanar, and you will enough about the Enkindlers to last you a lifetime."

"His collections of aliens?" Tali complained, "We're standing right here!"

"Yes, yes, sorry," Williams apologised, somewhat taken aback. "That was a bad way to formulate a joke about the hanar. I didn't mean to give offence."

"I'm not offended", Wrex stated, "I'm also having a collection of aliens."

_Perceptive_ Shepard thought and smiled. "As does Tali then, it seems" he pointed out. "Anyway, yes, might as well look how far Agent Vakarian has come. Wrex, Tali, do you want to accompany me? Ah, well, not that it's your fault at all, but some of the embassy staff already seem somewhat... uh, uncomfortable due to your presence."

"I'm used to that," Tali commented. "Few people trust us."

"Their problem," Wrex stated, "But I'll come along if you want."

"Good," Shepard said. "Chief Williams, Lieutenant Alenko, seems like you have some free time now, due to a vacuum of orders. I wouldn't want to disrupt it, so enjoy it. Oh, and of course do inform me once Ambassador Udina and Captain Anderson are finished with their work."

And with that, he turned and went, followed by Tali and Wrex.


	2. Ch2: Spectre

The audience at the Council had left some strong impressions with Tali. Not so much the whole rituals, or the Spectre ceremony, though that had clearly and naturally meant very much to Commander Shepard. That all she still found gaudy and overblown. However, only the facts, stripped away from all decorum had been quite amazing themselves: The evidence she had provided to the humans had vindicated them and left the Council dumbfounded. The human ambassador had dared to shout at the Council. And he had been successful enough with it, and now suddenly Commander Shepard was a Spectre! The first human Spectre, too, tasked with bringing Saren down. Him, and his pet geth.

_I hope he spreads as much destruction among them as possible._ It was good to see that her data had finally come to some good. The Admiralty Board back home maybe would not see the value, of course, but now it had been used to foil some geth plans. Or at least some plans involving geth. It was nothing she could bring home to end her pilgrimage, of course, but that merely meant she had to look on. Give her pilgrimage a new direction. Of course, whatever she were to do now would seem somewhat insignificant, at least in her mind._What use would even a new ship be for the Flotilla, when the our arch-enemy, the geth, are on the move? _

The arrival back at the human embassy disrupted her thoughts. Commander Shepard was hardly inside the building when he was already greeted by his superior officer, _what was his name? Anderson, right. Captain Anderson._ "Congratulations, Shepard", the man said "Humanity's first Spectre."

Strangely, the ambassador, Udina, seemed much less enthusiastic. "We've got a lot of work to do," he said "You're going to need a ship, a crew, supplies... Anderson, come with me, we will have to coordinate all this." _Practical. He would also not be out of place as a Flotilla captain. No time to lose with celebration, there's always enough work waiting._

Though Shepard himself, funnily enough, seemed to not quite know what to do now.

_Maybe I should also think practically again. There is also still work cut out for me._

"Hm," Wrex interrupted the situation, once the two human officials had left. "So you are a Spectre now? You don't look much different since you left. I could still take you on."

"Yeaaah, comforting thought," Shepard answered. He didn't seem fazed by the remark at all, though.

_Had the krogan joked or not?_ It was hard to tell with that race.

"Nothing like some stabilising continuity," Shepard's male crew mate, Lieutenant Alenko said, now without doubt in jest.

"Especially as it looks like you'll be on the move again soon, sir," that single human woman continued. Hers was the only name Tali did not know.

"Sure looks like," Shepard replied. "Udina looked like he won't be wasting any time." He turned to Tali. "Well then, Tali, as I'm surely soon recalled on short notice, and you're certainly anxious to go on with your pilgrimage thank you again. Without your evidence this all would not have been possible. Where will you go now?"

_Now is my only chance._ "That... depends," she began to answer, unsure still how to best continue. Just like spy games, rhetorics never had exactly been her strong side. She knew how to talk and how to carry herself, but this was a rather extraordinary situation, after all. _Not that there is any use in rhetorics, really._ "I would be willing to offer my help to you in your fight," she hence continued. "You know I can handle myself, you saw me in the alley, and well, I could offer my experience and knowledge concerning the geth."

The Spectre did a visible double-take at that.

_Maybe I should have used some rhetorics, or just have been less blunt._

"And what about your pilgrimage then?" Shepard asked.

She breathed out beneath her mask, knowing the others would be unable to see or hear this sign of slight insecurity. "Officially, so to say, I am on my pilgrimage from the time I leave the Flotilla to the time I return," she explained. "How we spend that time and how we try to find anything of value is up entirely to us. It would not interrupt the pilgrimage, merely changing its course for a bit. And through this rite we are expected to show our willingness to give for the greater good. Saren is a threat to everybody, including the quarians. This is how I feel I could best serve that greater good." _This is what truly matters. No amount of resources would help us against Saren, and it is a chance to hit the geth were it hurts. Or where it would hurt if they were alive._

"I could use expertise on the geth," Shepard said, leaving Tali unsure whether he would approve or not. It would not be all too big a deal if he declined, after all she had hardly set out on her pilgrimage planning to join a Spectre. And Tali could also understand why he might reject her offer after all, she was hardly somebody special, and knowledge about the geth came simply with being a quarian. Still, she hoped he would accept. This was an once in a lifetime chance not for her personally, but to do something for her people. "All right," he answered in the end. Tali's muscles and nerves relaxed, relieved. "You made your case, and you are right. Welcome in the team. And thank you."

_He thinks I can handle those matters._ Wanting to do a hundred things at once, and being suddenly unsure herself whether she could, her body moved nervously. _I certainly will do my best._ "No," she said finally, "thank you for giving me this chance."

Wrex had the final word in this, though: "Touching", he said.

Of course, even though she now seemed to be at least semi-officially part of a Spectre entourage did not mean she could immediately go out and shoot geth. As was quite clear, and as the ongoing conversation showed, currently neither Shepard nor anybody else present had any idea where to go. It was clear they had to preempt Saren, but unfortunately had no idea just how to do so, where to look for this fabled 'Conduit'. Ambassador Udina was named as one information source, the Council as another, and some C-Sec officer named Garrus Vakarian as a third option. She sighed thinking about it. This all was doing nothing good for the fabled aura of mystic and aloofness Spectres normally possessed. As it seemed, they did not even necessarily have a good information network!

That was why Shepard decided to heed Lieutenant Alenko's proposal to see how far Officer Vakarian had come. It made sense, or so Tali thought. Udina and the Council would release information at their own speed. Garrus Vakarian was the only information source they could actively use right now. And Shepard's choice to bring her and Wrex along had made sense, too. He seemed somewhat abashed about it, but he was right that the embassy personal had given them strange and unsure looks. And since there was nothing she could do about that except leaving, leave she would. At least for now. The reason why she was always given such suspicious looks, that being the underlying racist assumptions about quarians, annoyed her, even embittered her to a degree, but she could not fight them all, not alone. She just had to deal with them.

Despite their authority and responsibility, and despite their high and mighty nature as an arm of the Citadel Council, C-Sec really was not any better in that regard. Worse, even. Quarians were always under special scrutiny by C-Sec officers, no matter what they had done or rather, not done. It seemed most C-Sec officers believed that it would always only be a matter of time until a quarian would attempt to steal something. And yet, C-Sec rhetorics were always so thick about their mandate and their responsibilities and all that. It was hypocritical. Consequentially, Tali did not like C-Sec at all. And yet it was the C-Sec Academy, the institution's headquarters for all concerns, where they were going to.

_I can already imagine how everybody will stare there,_ Tali thought, before realising something: _It's actually somewhat funny. Shepard is a Spectre, so they cannot do anything about him bringing in a quarian and a krogan. That should be a nice little shock for them._ And it was. It seemed as soon as the trio had entered the Academy, dozens of eye pairs followed them everywhere, talks ending abruptly when they came near. Under different circumstances, Tali might have felt insulted, but knowing that C-Sec could nothing about this made it somewhat enjoyable even. She was surprised herself at this pettily vicious streak of herself, but decided that no harm would come out of it, so it was okay to indulge in it for now. It was almost a little sad how fast they reached Officer Vakarian's office.

The C-Sec agent was working on some console, quickly typing commands, and so only noticed them belatedly. "Commander Shepard," he greeted, "I have heard the news about your appointment as Spectre. Congratulations. The Council seems to have made a fine choice, for once." He eyed the two people trailing behind the human. "So, that is the quarian?"

"Yes," Shepard answered and introduced the two to each other: "This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Tali, this is Officer Garrus Vakarian."

"Nice to meet you," Garrus answered, only to immediately completely ignore both her and Wrex afterwards. "What will you do now, Commander... well, Spectre that is."

"I am still a Commander in the Alliance Navy, in fact," Shepard replied. "For now, I am trying to gather information. Have you found anything?"

"Remarkably little, but that was expected. The Council not only keeps very few records of its Spectres, it seems they also go out of their way to hush matters up. I found some stuff on watchdog and conspiracy sites, though, which I was able to collaborate with C-Sec data. It seems Saren has always been a loose cannon. His death count of innocent bystanders must be in the hundreds, but he got results, so the Council always suppressed all information even about alleged massacres. All the while C-Sec drowns in bureaucracy and red tape."

Shepard tensed at that reply, as Tali could see. Human expressions, both facial and bodily, were wonderfully varied, which allowed a relatively easy reading even for aliens. Not like quarians or turians with their rather limited variance, or salarians with their very strange signals. No, humans, like asari, were reasonably easy to read, and Shepard looked... uncomfortable. _The tension, the frown on his face... He does not like the agent's comments at all._

"Yeah well, I prefer red tape to massacres," he finally answered.

"Oh, no doubt about that," Garrus answered, seemingly unaware of Shepard's cues. "Spectres are a great idea in general, but Saren was given entirely a too free reign by the Council. He was seen as its top agent, but now I rather believe he should have served as an example of a rotten case even before he went rogue. He seems to have been really quiet the last five years or so, though. No big operations, no hushed up scandals, nothing, or so it seems. My bet is he has been rogue for at least that long." He moved his arms in a gesture that, as Tali knew, was equivalent to a human shrug. "In any case, this made finding up to date information on him somewhat difficult."

"But you sound like you did find something," Shepard commented.

"I did indeed. I had to use hack into some official databanks, and even that way I had to use my C-Sec authority to be able to do so. Economical registries, mostly. It seems in the same five last years, Saren has become a major trader and economical investor, without anybody really realising it."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that. "That is... interesting," he finally commented. "Quite unexpected. What exactly did he do? And why did nobody notice?"

"He organised cargo runs into the Terminus Systems, mostly. The Council actually did know about that, but Saren justified it. Posing as an independent merchant allows him to go to anywhere, or so he claimed. However, I think he was just playing a role in front of the Council as well, to justify his tours into the Terminus Systems."

"A speculation," Shepard analysed, "but that makes sense. And where better to build up hidden support bases than there? Going double undercover would work great in allowing him that."

"If he has shifted supplies for so long as we assume, then we might be in trouble. It seems Saren has quite a head start in preparations as well as in knowledge."

"He did not only shift supplies," Wrex suddenly announced, surprising everybody. He had been entirely quiet so far, seemingly disinterested in it all. "He also engaged in piracy. I was hired by him for such a job once. All over the edge to the Terminus Systems."

"Wait, you had been hired by Saren at one point?" Shepard asked. "Why haven't you told us?"

"And how come Saren was able to openly hire mercenaries?" Garrus asked.

"He never worked openly," Wrex replied, "Knowledge of the job only came by word of mouth, and Saren probably had everybody he did not like killed. That's why I also only ever saw him one time. Rest of the time, he worked through intermediaries. And I got a really bad feeling the one time I saw him. We had been raiding ships in the area for months when we took out this massive cargo freighter. Our biggest haul yet. I was on board, checking bodies for valuables, looking for some extra credit. That's when I saw him."

"And it was Saren?" Garrus asked.

"Yes. Not that I knew back then. I only knew it was the boss, and that he never showed up at all, usually. But at that day he was walking through the ship. Never talking, ignoring everybody. Just watching and giving icy glares. The moment I saw him, all my instincts warned me about him, and I got the hell out. Didn`t even wait to get paid. And I was right: All those mercenaries were dead afterwards, within a single week. Every last of them."

"Well, that settles it then," Shepard announced "Saren had been rogue all that time, and he surely was not only posing as undercover merchant for some mission."

"We could look at records of pirate attacks," Tali suggested, "trying to find a muster, a region where Saren was active."

"Tracking pirate attacks at the edge of the Terminus System in a time period longer than five years?" Garrus asked, in a tone suggesting 'How could anybody have such a stupid idea?' "There are so many pirate attacks we would never be able to isolate the one instigated by Saren!"

Feeling both a bit embarrassed and angry, Tali let her head hang low. _Come up with something better then!_ she thought.

"So this information could have caused Saren's downfall earlier, but doesn't help us now?" Shepard asked, somewhat bitter, before catching himself again: "Not that you did not do great work, Officer Vakarian, but it just seems this will not help me greatly in my hunt for Saren now."

"Probably not, no" Garrus admitted. "However, there is more information. As said, Saren also was busy as a financial investor. That is actually pretty easy to hide, if you have enough shell companies at places with ridiculously strict privacy laws, and if you remain a silent investor as Saren did. Mostly silent, anyway." Shepared gestured him to go on, and Garrus did: "He had a pretty big interest in several human companies, actually. Ironic, given his views about your race, Commander. Most interesting is investment in Binary Helix, a company involved in biotech and genetics. I did some further digging, and it appears Binary Helix has some major laboratories on Noveria. Now, that planet is always trouble."

"I heard something of it, little. It's not really part of the Alliance, right?"

"And not really part of Citadel Space, either, though by agreement they allow Spectre authority there. It's a corporate planet fully and officially owned and run by certain human corporations. They use it to do research illegal in Citadel Space. For that reason, they also value secrecy, but I was able to hack into some of their systems. C-Sec gear and programs is great for that."

Shepard laughed at that. "You seem to play a dangerous game."

"It's no game," Garrus replied heatedly. "Saren is a danger, to all of us. And whatever he plans, Noveria must be an important part of it. Matriarch Benezia seems to check these laboratories regularly. Nobody knows what's in there, probably not even the corporate board of Noveria itself, but we know Benezia is Saren's ally. There is something important there."

"That's definitely a lead," Tali commented.

"It is," Shepard agreed. "Thank you, Officer Vakarian."

"Just Garrus is sufficient, Commander. We turians usually use personal names, unless title or rank is also used," Garrus answered, giving Tali a slight feeling of deja vu. "And frankly, after this hacking session I am not quite sure how long I will be a C-Sec officer any more. Misuse of C-Sec property and authority, they will call it." He raised his hands before Shepard could protest. "It was worth it. Saren needs to be brought down, and I was not really happy with C-Sec any more anyway. It just means I might have to look for a new position."

"He could join my collection of aliens," Wrex suggested, making Garrus look quite nonplussed, which in turn caused Shepard to laugh.

"He's continuing a joke, Garrus," the Commander explained. "He meant joining well, uh, I guess you could call it my Spectre's entourage. Which is growing quickly in the mere hours since my appointment anyway. I cannot promise anything, though. Ambassador Udina has said that he will take care of getting me a ship, crew and supplies, and until I have that I cannot tell if there is place for one more person."

"This... this would be great, Commander!" Garrus exclaimed. "I understand you cannot make promises, but I can assure you that I would be very much willing to join your team, and would make sure not to disappoint you."

"I'll contact you as soon as I know about my state of equipment. Then I can tell you, one way or another. Until then I can only give you my thanks. You have really helped me even if the Council and the Alliance were unable to come up with any information now, I have at least one place to go to now. So, thank you."

"Until then, Commander. I will just wait here for Executor Pallin's inevitable fury."

"Good bye, Garrus," Shepard finished the conversation and walked out of the office again, followed by Wrex and Tali.

...

"That went surprisingly well," the Commander said outside the Academy, more to himself than to the two persons walking besides him.

Nonetheless, Tali mentally agreed. It did not matter now whether the Council could provide new information, or not even whether the Alliance could provide a ship; Noveria sounded like a planet to which certainly many trade lanes would lead to. Everything seemed to be in order now. She was actually part of a Spectre's entourage, she would have a chance to hit the geth hard, and now they knew where to start.

_Everything is in order now._

This thought made her feel light-heated, as if everything else in the world did not matter anymore. Unfortunately, the world moved on while she was not aware of it, and she nearly stumbled and had to lean at a wall for support.

"Everything all right?" Wrex asked, though his voice held few real concern.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I have no idea what this was." Tali replied, quite truthfully.

Shepard narrowed his eyes, another one of those thankfully easy to read human cues, even though Tali had no idea what it meant in this situation. "Nothing probably," he commented, though with a calculating tone in his voice. "No matter, we'll soon be back at the embassy anyway. Though, that reminds me, Wrex, if you're coming with me, should you not properly end your deal with the Shadow Broker? Get paid, at least?"

"Everything is already arranged," Wrex replied matter-of-factly, but continued after a noticeable pause: "But the Shadow Broker is not somebody to be trifled with. Maybe I should give Barla Von a full debriefing." And with that he simply turned and went.

A short grin flashed across Shepard's face, before he turned to Tali. "So, you are really okay?" he asked.

"I already told you..." Tali began with rising anger. _Damnit, I can take care of herself._

"...probably the same shit I told my superiors back then," Shepard interrupted her and continued the sentence his way. "After my first battle."

This had Tali be taken aback. _What is he talking about?_

"You held up yourself up well," he continued. "But nobody is that calm after a firefight unless he or she has seen quite, quite many. And you have spent too much of your life on the Migrant Fleet for that."

_Oh, ancestors. Now he thinks I'm weak. Hopefully he will not think over his decisions to take me along just because of a stupid stumble._ "It's not like that", she hastily began, only to cut herself off this time. _What is it like, then?_

"Well," Shepard replied, "You did better than me in my first battle." He looked kind of abashed as he said that, and leaned with his back against the wall.

"Oh," Tali only made, still unsure what too say. _If that is true, the Commander must have come a long way_.

"You had enough will power to hole it all up until everything was taken care of," Shepard continued. He looked down, though Tali could see an ironic grin on his face "That's... quite commendable, actually. Me, I became shell shocked. Not after the battle, during the battle itself. It's... not something I'm proud of, but it can happen to all of us."

"You are right," Tali replied, slowly and with regrowing certainty. "On the Flotilla, we are usually safe from such things, but our marines do have a service taking care of any psychological stress or damages that may accumulate. Of course, such things are not available during our pilgrimages..."

"Yes, the Alliance military has institutions for that as well. It's a common enough problem, even if most soldiers wouldn't admit to it"

"Really? And yet you had no problem telling me this?"

"Well, not exactly no problem," he replied, and that was true enough. _He still seems somewhat embarrassed by this whole conversation. Of course, it was him who started it._ "But in any case, yes, I am not 'most' soldiers. There are some really stupid elements in military culture... ah well. Guess I shouldn't talk too negatively about it."

An uneasy silence fell on the two, before Tali asked: "What happened at your first battle, then?"

Shepard shrugged. "It was nothing big. I was fresh out of boot camp, a rookie marine. Our navy is basically constantly in action engaging raiders and pirates, of course, but most of it is ship to ship combat. Marines are only called in for rapid reinforcements on the ground, or for long planned counterstrike on pirate bases, usually. However, our ship, the _SSV Tehran_, had managed to trap a pirate frigate on the ground, and we were pretty sure it was a brand new deliverance from the Batarian Hegemony, so our Captain decided to have it captured intact, for reasons of military intelligence. So, the Teheran's marine detachment stormed the ship on-ground. There was some heavy resistance by the pirate crew, but nothing that couldn't be handled." He paused, and smiled ironically. "Of course, for me things looked different. I... Ah, let's say, I had been in tense situations and even combat situations before, but never in an all-out firefight. I... just froze up. Stayed in my position behind a rock and just kept firing towards the ship. Hell, I even thought that would fool my superiors, since in a way I still did participate in the battle. Of course, I was wrong."

"So what happened?"

Shepard made a dismissive hand gesture. "Eh, the usual. I got some counselling, and over time exposure to combat situations did the rest. However, everybody has to start somewhere, has to start with a first fight, so..." He did not get to end his sentence, as his omnitool activated itself, telling him he had a message. "Hm." the Commander made. "Udina seems to want to meet me at Dock 422. Says he has everything taken care of. I have to give it to him, he's fast. And thorough, he mentioned you and Wrex should come, too. Hm, that's _Normandy_'s dock, do I get to hitch a ride on her? That would actually be kinda nice."

"Well, then we should go," Tali commented and started walking again, feeling relieved to get out of the conversation the easy way, but feeling somewhat guilty about that relief as well. Before Shepard could reply to her, she turned back and said, with a softer voice: "Thank you, Commander. Of course, it was not my first fight. There at least was also the geth patrol I had tracked down. But I know what you mean."

Shepard laughed, though again more ironically and for effect than truly humorously. "Then you are a better learner than most people I've met," he commented. "Yes, let's go."

Dock 422 was privately owned by the System Alliance's embassy on the Citadel, or so Shepard had explained her during the elevator ride to it, allowing some ships of special importance to come and go as they pleased. And after the Eden Prime mission, so disastrous on some level and yet so successful on others, the _Normandy_ had apparently been deemed important enough for use of this dock. The view the dock offered, after leaving the elevators and passing some storage crates, was in any case amazing: Open to the Wards, the arms of the Citadel, one could see the entire length of them, glittering in the darkness of space. However, Tali was of course more interested in the view of the ship docked here. A frigate, of course that was one of their great advantages: While they had not much firepower, not even compared to a cruiser, they could land and dock just about everywhere. The _Normandy_ looked fine enough on the outside from what Tali could see, elegant yet strong, but that after all was not what was important. She was not proud to even mentally admit, but some quarians knew very well how to make a ship look to be in pristine condition even when it was not. The stereotype of sleazy quarian used ship salesmen had some base in truth, even if it was wildly exaggerated.

She wondered how live would be on that ship. She knew that every ship and every ship crew had its own character and own odd quirks. In the Migrant Fleet, they even formed own cultural spheres to some degree, one important reason why it was deemed necessary to have one's ship allegiance be included in a quarian's name. Of course, not having finished her pilgrimage, Tali did not yet have a ship allegiance, she was merely nar Rayya, born on the Rayya, and of course things would not be so extreme with the humans. Still, she was very curious what would await her. With some luck she would even be able to take a look at the ship's technology. Human ship technology would be an interesting new field for her.

_And on what odd ways my pilgrimage has taken me so that I could come_ here she thought, amazed. The news about geth activity, the geth patrol she had tracked down, the hunt of Saren's agents, her escape to the Citadel, the contact with the Shadow Broker, the fight in the back alley, her rescue by human soldiers, her audience with the Council, and now part of a Spectre's team and soon on board of a human military vessel. At the very least she could now already claim to have experienced quite more on her pilgrimage than most quarians, no matter the outcome that would await it.

Thinking that, she noticed there were several people standing in front of the _Normandy_. Shepard's two crew mates, his Captain, Ambassador Udina and even Urdnot Wrex were all gathered there, obviously waiting for the Commander and her. Udina especially gestured Shepard to come nearer. _He seems to be on a rush of energy and activity the entire day_, Tali thought amused. _I wonder what he has now._

"Shepard," the Ambassador greeted the Commander, "I have big news for you. Captain Anderson is stepping down as commanding officer of the _Normandy_. The ship is yours now. She's quick and quiet, and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre." That surprised Shepard visibly, and it also greatly surprised Tali. Ships were the Migrant Fleet's most important resource, and the position of its Captains, its commanding officers, was highly important in the social and political structures of the Fleet. Even the Admiralty Board would face great difficulty simply replacing a Captain. Yet, that seemed to have happened here, despite the formulations of 'stepping down'. It appeared things were very different with the humans. At least, to a degree, since Shepard did not receive the news well:

"So, forced retirement, huh?" he asked. "This isn't right, the ship belongs to you, Captain. Since when have you buckled to the politicals?"

"It's not just politics, Shepard," Anderson answered, almost pleaded. "You needed your own ship. A Spectre does only answer to the Council itself, not to any superior officer. And the _Normandy_ just is the best choice, by all measurements."

To a degree, Tali understood now. It was in a way about a more efficient distribution of limited resources, and that was something most quarians understood. Still, she could even more so understand why the humans present, maybe with the exception of the Ambassador, looked rather uncomfortable, probably judging the entire situation to be rather awkward. It would have been that at the very least on the Migrant Fleet, too. Shepard's two crew mates especially looked uneasy, but did not say anything. Shepard however did. "And that all there is to that?" he asked.

Anderson made a grim face, looked down and shook his head. "Look, Shepard," he said, "I was in your shoes twenty years ago. They were considering me for the Spectres. But I failed. I blew the chance, my test mission. Saren made sure of it. Now it's your chance, and all there is left to do for me is to step aside for you."

_A practical, non-self centred position,_ Tali thought, and it seemed to convince Shepard as well, if grudgingly, as he answered: "It still doesn't feel right, Captain. I understand you, and I might need it, so I'll take it, but by all rights it should be yours."

"You surely will need it, Saren has his geth scouring the entire Traverse for the 'Conduit'," Anderson in turn answered, "There have been sightings of them everywhere. You'll need to go to wherever they are, to make sure you find that artefact first. That requires a ship, a fast one with stealth capabilities." The Captain's last sentence was spoken softly, nostalgic for the bygone opportunity of commanding the ship. Then he went back to a sharp business voice again: "The most troubling geth sighting comes from Feros. We have a small colony there, but the entire planet is ruins of a globe spanning prothean city. Perfect place to hunt for a prothean artefact. And shortly after the sightings, the colony went dark. No communications any more. Most likely, it is under geth attack."

"There is also a second lead for you," Udina chimed in. "Matriarch Benezia, Saren's ally, has a daughter, a doctor of archaeology specialised on the protheans. Her name is Liara, Dr Liara T'Soni. I am not sure whether she will be able to give you informations on her mother, but it might be worth a try. We have reports she was exploring an archaeological dig somewhere in the Artemis Tau cluster, but we have not been able to get a more exact location."

"The prothean expert for my collection," Wrex quipped, in the same monotone voice as always, leaving Udina and Anderson looking confused.

_That damn joke again,_ Tali thought. Shepard however seemed only partially annoyed, despite him rolling his eyes, as he also had to stifle a laughter. If probably more about Udina's and Anderson's faces than about the joke."Actually, he said, "you might be right. She is Benezia's daughter, and that makes her dangerous, but if we could somebody get access to her professional knowledge, then that could be useful on Feros, if it's really that full of prothean ruins. Maybe I should start looking in the Artemis Tau Cluster then."

"It's your ship now, Shepard," Anderson answered. "And your decision."

"Keep in mind that you are the first human Spectre, though" Udina commented. "Your actions will always reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess, and I get stuck cleaning it up."

"That's not my intention," Shepard replied, sounding slightly annoyed. And Tali assumed he had every right to be: Cleaning up such messes was after all the ambassador's job, and he really should not complain about having to do his job. "But I will do whatever it takes to keep our colonies out there save, at the very least," the Commander continued, "And ideally also prevent the return of the Reapers."

"We still do not even know whether they exist," Udina said, "It's a possibility, but I have come to see it as too far-fetched. For now, you should focus on getting the Conduit, and through him Saren."

"I will," Shepard answered, ice in his voice. _Battle ready, most definitely._ "He won't get away this time."

oooooo

**As an example of what I meant in the introduction: I always found it odd how Shepard simply let a random C-Sec officer tag along, and likewise also odd how there were supposed to be geth sightings around Noveria, yet for everybody there it is a surprise. So, I combined the two as an alternate approach. As said, just as example of what I meant. Also, you can see the scene between C-Sec and Dock 422 as a reference to Sticki's _Meetings_, with greetings to him ;)  
**


	3. Ch3: Get this bird in the air, Joker

This was it then. He had his own ship now, even though Shepard was not really happy with the situation. Of course, he was a military career man. He had planned on being a ship's CO eventually. He did not consider himself to have the abilities of an admiral, so a Captain's rank and a ship's CO position would most likely have been the crowning high point of his career. Of course, now he was on another career path all together anyway, so to say. He was a Spectre now, and in a manner of speaking he thus outranked even the highest Alliance admirals. And to make it all perfect, he even had his ship now. Still, it just did not feel the right how that vessel had been taken from Captain Anderson.

Not that it mattered now. Dwelling on that instead of going after Saren would merely make Anderson's sacrifice go to waste. He needed to focus on the hunt now. So he already had become active: His 'Spectre's entourage', that is Wrex, Garrus and Tali, had for now been sent to the cargo bay, to make themselves at home there. Eventually, more permanent arrangements would have to be taken, but there would be time for that en route to their targets. Navigator Pressley had been ordered to find information on the Artemis Tau Cluster, and, of course, plot a route to there. And Doctor Chakwas had been informed to perform checks on them as soon as possible, to clear their medical status. Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, just called 'Joker' by everybody, had brought the _Normandy_ into the air and leaving the Citadel, towards one of the innumerable mass relays surrounding the station, and Navigator Pressley had officially been confirmed as the _Normandy_'s new XO. And a meeting of the ship's leading officers had been set to commence shortly Captain Anderson's presence on the ship was missed, but things nevertheless went smoothly. They all were military professionals, after all.

Of course, crew morale was still something to be considered, and it was usually considered traditional that a new commanding officer would give his or her new crew a speech. Truth be told, Shepard did not consider himself any bad at giving them, or at rhethoric in general. Thus he had come to the cockpit, to use the ship's intercom from there. He breathed out, gathered his thoughts, and activated the system:

"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders: Find Saren before he finds the Conduit. I won't lie to you, crew: This won't be easy. But we all know what happened on Eden Prime. We saw the destruction, we saw the bodies, we saw what Saren did. And we will make him pay for that. Wherever he goes, we follow. Whereever he searches for the Conduit, we will be there. If necessary we will hunt him to the very ends of the galaxy and bring him down! This is the most important mission any of us have ever been on. Saren's AI allies, the geth, already nearly wiped out one sentient species. They won't be given another chance for that. The fate of humanity, and of the entire galaxy is at stake here, and everybody counts on us the Alliance, the Citadel, even the other races. Let's show them what humans are made of! Saren and his pet geth must be stopped, and I promise you we will stop them."

He breathed out again, feeling relieved. _Not bad, if I may judge so myself. Not bad at all for an impromptu speech._ Joker seemed to agree, saying: "Well said, Commander. And true. The captain would be proud of you."

"Captain Anderson gave up everything so I could get that chance," Shepard answered harshly. Of course, he was not annoyed at Joker, if at all at Udina and those damn backroom politics, but it was still in any case a sore point. "We can't fail him. Unfortunately, fancy speeches alone won't help in that."

"Yeah, the Captain got screwed," Joker commented. "But it's not like it's your fault. Don't be too hard on yourself, Commander. And should fancy speeches ever help against Saren, we now know we have the right man on board!"

Shepard chuckled at that, releasing some tension. Somehow, Joker always semed to know the right thing to say. Unfortunately, as the Commander had already come to learn, even also when it was something highly inappropriate. "What can I say," he replied, "it's a highly talented crew. Including a multi-talented pilot who apparently can also double as comedian."

"Yeah, I know, right?" Joker played along. "Lousy audience, though."

"Is that a proper way to adress your commanding officer, Flight Lieutenant Moreau?" Shepard asked in a serious voice, though not really meaning it. Joker stuttered something in reply, but he ignored it and went on: "Thus hurt to the bone, I will now take my leave of your cockpit, and trust you have more flight skill than sense of hierarchy." Joker muttered something inaudible when Shepard left the cockpit, a grin on his face.

Behind Joker's domain lay the CiC. With all the holographic lights of the control stations, and the large map of the galaxy in the centre it was quite a sight to behold. Nonetheless, Shepard was still unsure about its layout. Seeing as the _Normandy_ was an experimental vessel, the brass had decided to also use it to test alternate approaches to command structures on it. Specifically, instead of the usual human CiC layouts, where the commanding officer was in the centre, surrounded and easily reachable by the station crews, the _Normandy_ used the turian layout, where the Commanding Officer was at the back of the room, to thus have the entire crew of it in his or her view. Shepard found this just silly. He trusted everybody here to do their work, without any supervision needed by superior officers. And to have the commanding officer be, so to say, at the middle of all data input seemed much more reasonable to him. _It just looks wrong. Definitely not what I'm used to. No matter, though. Nothing that could be changed now, and the alternate layout is functional as well._

Making his way through the CiC, he reached the comm room, which now also served as a sort of conference room. Chief Navigator Pressley and Chief Engineer Adams were already there, as the _Normandy_'s two highest ranking officers, as was Lieutenant Alenko, 'representing' so to say the ground team, to which the three new non-humans on board would surely be assigned. The room had a circle of chairs in the middle, and the three were already seated there, patiently waiting for him. _Of course, that is the privilege of the superior officer._

"Commander," Pressley greeted him, "We heard the speech. Fine choice of words. And if anybody has to take over for Captain Anderson, I'm glad it's you."

"Thanks," Shepard answered, seating himself, too. "I hope it will help crew morale, but for now we have more tangible things to worry about. Did you find any information about the Artemis Tau Cluster? Any recommondations what to do?"

"It's a very far off location, sir. No major shipping lanes lead to there, and it's a cul-de-sac in the mass relay network. It does have prothean ruins and remains. Unfortunately for us, it has quite many of those, meaning there are quite many sites for an archaeological dig. And human presence there is minimal. We do have a minor colony there, though. Proteus, the world is called. The colony is little more than ten thousand people, but maybe somebody there knows more. Otherwise we will have to search planet after planet by hand, so to say."

"Hardly an ideal prospect, especially as time stands against us. You are right, Pressley, let's make Proteus our first location in the cluster."

"Speaking of which, sir if I may ask, is it wise to search for that asari first? Feros after all might well be under attack."

"Believe me, I have considered that. It's no easy decision." And it indeed wasn't. Had this gone on longer for one really crazy day, he had no doubt he would lose sleep over it. After all, it was not like the fate of the colonists on Feros did not matter to him. But there just was more to consider. "There are several hundred settlers on Feros, or so I understand. They should get help, yes. However, our primary mission hinges on understanding prothean remains, and Feros is full of them. We need some expertise when we go there, and Dr T'Soni has that expertise."

"If we can trust her," Pressley commented, and his voice let no doubt that in his opinion, they could not. Which was understandable the other reason they went after T'Soni was after all that her mother had allied herself with Saren.

"Yes. If not, well, then we will have to make do. Still, we can at least give it a try. We after all do not know for sure wether she has been part of Saren's conspiracy. We will know once we have found her."

"Understood, sir. This leaves the other obvious point of this meeting: The non-humans on board. Frankly, sir, I do not know wether it is a good idea to have them here. After all, this is prototype ship of the Systems Alliance. Human cutting edge technology. A primary espionage target, hence."

"I understand," Shepard answered. "However, what's the chance any of the three are agents of intelligence services? And for that matter, what intelligence services would a krogan and a quarian even report to? And if they are not actually agents, they lack both the training and the contacts to actually spy on us. I appreciate there is a risk, Pressley, but it seems like a minimal one to me." Pressley nodded, but did not seem happy about it. Something still bothered him. "You can speak freely, if there is anything else," Shepard hence continued.

"It's just... Saren attacked one of our colonies. This makes it a human problem, and so far we have always handled our own problems. We should be the ones to stop Saren, and we don't need any outside help in that."

"Maybe," Shepard replied, somewhat surprised by such an attitude. _That's just... impractical_. "It sure doesn't hurt, though. Humanity has achieved much in the not even thirty years since we have entered the galactic stage, but no matter how strong one is, allies always make one stronger."

"I suppose," Pressley answered and sighed. "I guess, maybe I'm just stuck in the old ways of thinking. Dont worry, though, Commander, this won't be a problem. So what will happen to them now?"

"If the time schedule is held up, they should currently be checked by Dr Chakwas, which is the reason she isn't here. Afterwards well, it seems de facto they are an additional Marine detachment of the _Normandy_ now."

"I must admit, I really cannot see Wrex in any other role than as warrior," Alenko commented. "In that role he is great, of course. And I don't think people would welcome a turian like Garrus in the role of a ship's security officer or something similar."

Shepard grinned, soon followed by Pressley. "In that at least they would be entirely justified," Shepard answered. "It does seem they have no real use as long as they are on board. No matter, that is after all not why I dragged them along, anyway. However... Maybe some data console can be cleared or installed for Garrus? He proved his worth finding information on Saren, and I doubt this will be the last time that we'll need additional info."

Pressley nodded stiffly, taking over the question in his role as XO. "I'll see what can be done," he answered.

"That leaves Tali, the quarian. Truth be told, I am not entirely sure about her skills. I suppose I will have to talk to all three, anyway. Job interviews, so to say," Shepard commented with a thin smile. "And I guess somebody should show them the ship. Wouldn't do to have people on our side get lost on it."

"No, sir," Pressley agreed. "Anything else"?

"I don't think so. Not until we maybe get more information from Proteus, at least. Dismissed," Shepard ended the conference, and turned to leave the comm room.

Making his way through the CiC again, and then towards Doctor Chakwas office on the second deck of the ship, Shepard encountered Tali sitting in the crew's mess. The way she aimlessly looked around suggested she had currently nothing better to do, and maybe felt a bit lost. Again, of course, that was hard to tell with her face hidden beneath the mask. _Guess I'll have to look up informations on the quarians. I have no idea what's up with that suit._ Generally, Shepard considered him relatively well educated. Probably as well as anybody growing up on the streets of one of Earth's megapoleis could be educated, even. Reading up things far away either by location or by time was one of the few things back then that had allowed him to escape the harsh realities of his life. And while a soldier's training really focused on other things, it did give him at least the chance to further broaden his knowledge's horizon. He thus considered him well-informed about most races in Citadel Space. The quarians, though, had been as he had said nearly wiped out. Their entire race numbered fewer people than the colony of Elysium had, just about half as much. There hence was simply few information about them upon which Shepard could have stumbled. _Definitely a hole in my knowledge right there._

Stopping at the chairs leading down to the deck, Shepard took a closer look at Tali, so far apparently unnoticed. Whatever it was with the suit, he had to admit it fit in all the right places, stressing her curves. He grinned. _Probably designed by quarian males. Can't say I blame them._ Though it probably also allowed her far more flexibility and agility than any envirosuit of the Alliance would permit its wearer. And Tali herself truly had proven her abilities. On whatever godforsaken planet she had acquired the data, on the Citadel, and also with what grace she had carried herself afterwards, as if she had never been alone on a geth world, on the run from Saren's agents and shot at by Fist's thugs. _If Spectres are really 'embodiments of self-reliance' as the Asari Councillor has said, then maybe there should be some quarian Spectres_, Shepard thought ironically. Then again, he doubted just any quarian could have done what Tali had. Or, at least, the thought of seventeen million such people would be kind of frightening.

He smiled, and approached her. "Already finished with Dr Chakwas examination?" he asked.

As she still not had spotted him, her head whirled around quickly, though it would be unfair to say she was startled. "Ah... Commander Shepard, it's you. Actually, not really. There were some complications, due to my suit, which held up the entire process. Dr Chakwas then decided to first check Garrus and Wrex. I was quite surprised of her broad knowledge of non-human physiology."

"Heh, yeah. She is certainly well-trained, and experienced. I guess that comes with being a military medic; eventually you just have seen it all. How was your suit a problem, though?"

"It is not medically possible for me to remove it outside a fully decontaminated room, and it is fully air sealed. Otherwise, there would be little purpose to it. Those two things combined make checking my health status from the outside practically impossible."

"Why can't you..." Shepard began, but then caught himself, and again mentally cursed his lack of knowledge about the quarians. He had no idea if this was not private, or maybe even involving a cultural taboo. At least among humans, such an intimate medical questions would be delicate at least. "...uh, that is, if it's not too private a question."

"Why I cannot remove my suit?" Tali answered. There was some sort of weariness in her voice, but she did not seem to take offence at the question. "It's all right to ask. It's common knowledge. Well, common if one does extranet queries or the like about us. And you have a right to know my capabilities and limits. To be precise, I could remove my suit, however I would practically certainly get an infection. I can tell you biological details later if you want, but the summary is that quarians always had a lesser developed immune system than other species anyway, due to different evolutionary demands on our homeworld. Then came our exile, aboard sterile spaceships, and our immune systems totally atrophied. Which means every contact of our bodies to the outside world is dangerous for us, in the worst case lethal."

_Any contact is potentially lethal? That is, also any suit brech? Dear God, how could I then allow her into combat situations? That's..._ Those worries must have been clearly visible, since Tali hastily continued: "It's not as bad as you might assume. I cannot fully remove my suit, but if every little breach killed us already, there would certainly be no quarians alive anymore. And our suits are actually highly technological designs every breach gets automatically sealed. I need to take care, but I'm not fragile or overly vulnerable."

"I...ah, I'll keep that in mind". When she did not reply and merely lowered her head, Shepard went on: "No, really, Tali. If you say you are ready, then I'll trust you on that. You do not have to worry again about appearing weak on the mission." _Was that just the usual crew morale blah blah, or the truth? Because there does seem to be a risk with her. Still, it's her decision, and she seems to be well aware of the risks._

Tali chuckled unsurely. "I should keep the unnecessity of that in mind, yes. In any case, Dr Chakwas tried to access the internal diagnostics of my suit, but so far to no avail. She is after all a physician, no electronics expert. She said that those attempts will be continued later. For now she is working on Garrus and Wrex."

"Good. That means I can catch them here, too. So, Tali... ah, besides your medical status I wanted to ask about, well, you. What did you do before you left the Migrant Fleet?"

"Me?" Tali asked in return, now clearly surprised. "There is not much to say about me. Like any quarian I was born aboard one of our ships, in my case the Rayya, hence that part of my name. The only extraordinary thing about me is probably my father, who is part of the Admiralty Board. As we are still technically under martial law, the Admiralty Board is our highest decision making organ, so he is a man of many responsibilities." Pausing, she continued after a gesture by Shepard to go on. "That also was visible in my upbringing. He pushed me hard as a child. Back then I often thought he pushed me too hard, but now I appreciate it. The universe doesn't owe you anything, and if you want something from life, you have to earn it. He understood that, and made sure I got a sound military and technical training."

_This explains much. Very much._ Shepard himself never had had many experiences of family, but he did not quite like the opposite extreme, either. Not that it was his place to judge now, and that was not the purpose of the conversation, anyway. "You do seem to have much knowledge about engineering," he said, bringing the conversation back to its desired path.

"It comes with being a quarian. Some of our vessel's date back all the way to the Geth War, and yet they are our home. They hence need to be constantly repaired, which in turn requires that all quarians have some skill in that matter."

"And going by how you extracted that geth data, most likely you have some skill with electronics, too, no?"

"Not enough to have helped Dr Chakwas in her endeavours," she replied dismissively, "though that was mostly due to electronics incompatibility."

"Hmhm. Do you think you could make yourself useful in Engineering then?"

"Oh, of course," Tali replied, surprised but yet in a steady voice. "I certainly should not simply hitch a ride on this ship for free."

Shepard chuckled. "Don't worry about that. I think we will stumble over geth soon enough, and then you can earn your ride. So to speak. However, even aboard we could use every help we get. I wouldn't call our engineers overworked, exactly, but more rest periods is something that can always help with readiness."

"Of course, Commander, no need to explain. Efficient use of resources is also something every quarian knows about, and idle I would be an unused resource. A waste that would make me feel uneasy anyway, truth be told."

Something about the way she told this bothered Shepard. He tried to put it in words: "That doesn't sound right. You're really selling yourself under value. Just a resource to be used, really?"

"It's not, I wasn't saying... Not just a resource. But also. Me, you, Lieutenant Alenko, everybody on this ship represents labour resources, after all."

_Well, true. Still... it sounds kinda depersonalising. But I guess I can't argue with her logic._ "Well then..." Shepard stopped, looking to the door to the medbay, which Garrus was just leaving. Shepard stood up to walk towards him, but turned again to Tali: "Well, then, I had planned to show you and the other two the ship, where you need to go and all, once you are all ready. I suppose until Chakwas is also finished with Wrex, you do need stay idle for a bit" He grinned at her, and then turned towards Garrus.

oooooo

Tali'Zorah definitely liked how Commander Shepard handled himself, or at least what she had seen of it so far. Despite ship command being thrust onto him all out of sudden, he had wasted no time to get the crew organised and the ship running. And what was more, he also seemed to have a way of communicating with and motivating the crew. His speech had been magnificent, and he had shown himself been understanding, yet firm in the personal talk with her. _He is not yet a full Captain according to human traditions,_ she thought, _but he will make a damn fine Captain one day. Maybe even Admiral. Though I had not planned to mention my father._ She had just wanted to be able to answer him at all, after he had spoken so eloquently. Then again, her parentage was hardly a secret. She just hoped he would not judge her based on it, like most people aboard the Flotilla seemed to do. _But then he does not appear to be the type to do so._ She could already imagine what he would say to reassure her of that, and smiled. No need to bother him with that.

She watched the Commander walk towards Garrus. In all the upheaval of the day she had not really been able to take a good look at him. Human, male, military those short facts had to be enough. And she hadn't seen many humans before on her pilgrimage. The first thing she noticed was of course his non-quarianess, and that even though compared to some other races, humans were anatomically very similar to quarians. _They carry themselves so rigidly, though. With turians that's understandable, what with their plates and all, or the massive elcor, but one would think people from middle values gravity worlds without dermal plating would be a bit more flexible, like us, or the asari, or even the salarians with their soft bones. Of course, the asari are practically blue quarians anyway. It also does not help that human faces are so broad. It makes them look somewhat brutish, especially the males._ She sighed inwardly. _I really have to remember not to apply my own ingrained standards on another species. Fortunately it's not so bad with Shepard. He walks with a certain style, a certain dignity and gravitas. And his face is okay, in a rugged, rogue like way._

As for Garrus, turians were an established, common sight on the galactic scene, and looked different enough to be beyond summoning up pre-formed notions. He spoke now, in this oddly resonant voice of most turians or rather, that oddly resonant voice most translator interpreted turian speech as: "Ah, Commander. I wanted to thank you for bringing me aboard. I'm looking forwards to working with. I know it will be better than my work at C-Sec."

"Ah, really?" Shepard replied. "Have you worked with a Spectre before?"

"I know what they're like," Garrus claimed. "Spectres make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way. At C-Sec, you're buried by rules. The damn bureaucrats are always on your back."

There was it again this tension in Shepard's body when Garrus spoke about too much regulation. "There is a reason for most of those rules," he replied, voice getting colder.

"Well, yes," Garrus admitted, apparently in an argumentative mood. "I am sure there once were honourable reasons for most of them. But most of the time I have the feeling they are simply used now to stop me from doing my work. From trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do do it, as long as I do it."

"No matter how? That could include brutality. What makes you better then than those suspects?" Shepard replied, now with a sudden icy politeness in his voice. _Oh keelah, that's not good. He must have had bad experiences with out of control police in the past. That would also explain why he has always reacted so hostile to Garrus' complains about regulations._ She felt a bit uneasy at the situation, though not overly so. Quarians had little private space on the Flotilla; experiencing arguments and awkward situations of others was hence something they all had plenty of experience in even already at young ages.

Garrus seemed to come to the same conclusions as Tali, as he replied after some stunned pause: "It would be very difficult to become worse than certain criminals. Like Saren. His case at C-Sec was just typical. People like him will always have an advantage if they are not bound by rules while police forces are."

Shepard held his voice on the same level of cool consideration as before, clearly holding back verbally. "But if police forces are not bound by those rules," he said, "if they think they can make their own rules and enforce them, then they are just any other street gang. Just one with better guns and flashier authority."

"Do you really believe that, Commander?" Garrus asked, clearly surprised. "You are a Spectre now. You do not only think to be above the rules, you are."

Shepard sighed, gathering himself. _I wonder what he would like to say without constraints._ When he spoke, his voice had turned from ice to giving a lecture: "Granting me Spectre authority is the only thing the Council was willing to do about Saren, and the only thing they were willing to grant humanity in our fight against him. Given that, that we receive no other resources from the Council, I will use my Spectre authority if necessary. However, in general I find the whole system a bad idea, rotten at the core. If I can help it there won't be any innocents endangered or prisoners brutalised, or whatever else you may have been thinking. Is that clear, Vakarian?"

"I wasn't... yes, Commander. Understood."

Shepard nodded, and continued his voice changing again, adapting to the situation. It was again warm and personal, almost soft at times: "You have contributed to this mission, and having read the reports on you I am sure you further can. Your handling of all kinds of rifles is impressive, as are your skills with various mechanical equipment. I am glad to have you on the team, but I want to see your skills used for good. To turn your arguments around persons like Saren will never help people. So somebody has to. And that would be us, the good guys, if you will. And not endanger them, intimidate them, or whatever crooked method you sometimes in your desperations about red tape may think of." _I don't think he had intended to make this a lecture from the beginning. Not with how much anger he had held back in the beginning. He somehow managed to turn himself around, and make an impressive on-the-spot lecture out of it._

"I... see what you mean," Garrus replied. "I will think on it."

...

And so he had. Wrex had come out of Dr Chakwas office soon enough, slightly annoyed at the 'needless poking of him', and Commander Shepard had shown them the key points of the ship. Wrex had not looked particularly interested in the tour, but had tagged along anyway. And the _Normandy_ had proven to be an absolutely amazing ship even from the inside. The command deck array was a bit unusual, and crew quarters were a bit crammed (though of course not more so than on a quarian ship), but everything displayed an overwhelming level of technology, from the communication and command technology at CiC over Dr Chakwas office to the state of the art sleeper pods. However, the most amazing thing she had found at the heart of the ship the Tantalus Drive Core at Engineering. She would never had thought that such a large drive core could be fit into a ship that small. _The control electronics keeping it in check must be amazing!_ her thoughts had been as she had first seen it. _Or the energy supply, I can't understand how they did it. No wonder the humans are so successful!_ And what was more, she would work here, at this wonderful piece of technology.

She had now for two days, being introduced into the ship's engineering section by Chief Engineer Adams. It had been just as she had hoped, her being able to learn so much about technological novelties of a newcomers race. Her thirst for knowledge and understanding of the machines before here had been unquenchable. Looking back at yesterday, she feared she might have pestered poor Adams a bit too much with questions, out of sheer excitement. She would have to learn to reign that in; after all not all races were as sociable creatures as the quarians were, and even by quarian standards her nagging, she could see no other way to describe it, could have been considered annoying.

The humans trusted her, though, apparently, or at least the officers. At her introduction, and the day afterwards, she had only been granted partial access to the systems. While she had no intention to in any way damage the technology, or as some feared steal it, she could nonetheless very well understand the precautions. This was after all a warship, and apparently the Alliance's most advanced one, too. Security precautions were simply a matter of sound military counter-intelligence. However, she now had full access to all engineering systems, something requested by Adams and approved by Shepard. _Fortunately, my nagging does not seem to have made too bad of an impression on Adams._ Truth be told, she was not quite sure if so quick trust was a good idea in general, but as she herself had no intention to abuse it, she could hardly complain about that.

And so she had set out to work. While the ship systems were a marvel of technology, there was always some things that could be modified and optimised. After all, without skills in that, the quarian people would never have been able to keep their ships in shape for three hundred years, and that had always been utterly necessary for survival. Of course, not all quarians excelled at that, but as for her, she did consider herself not too bad in it. Already yesterday she had found a way to make the energy supply slightly more efficient not much, but every bit of spared resources helped, whether on the Flotilla or on a warship that could well be outside properly chartered space for months. And she had suggested some ways to better the control interface, though Adams had commented on the need to mull that over first. Looking back, she did feel a bit self-conscious to have spoken up on such matters like she were some sort of authority, even though she was a newcomer, but during her work she had spent little thought on that: The suggested improvements had simply come to naturally to her, and she had been too absorbed in her work too notice that she may stand out of line. Fortunately, Adams seemed to understand it, and had not raised the issue. _A good man. But then, from what he has said, he has seen just about everything in his career. Of course an over-eager quarian alone would not faze him. Speaking of which, there he is. Does he want something?_

"Hello, Tali," he greeted, approaching her. "Knowing you, you probably have already found half a dozen ways to improve our systems yet again, keeping the rest of us busy with doing the modifications." There was good natured humour in his voice, and she knew he was not serious. It had been quite enough that she had constantly apologised about giving offence the day before when she had in fact not, so she had learned her lessons.

"Chief Engineer," she replied, nodding her head. "Well, one thing. The power supply again. The way single sections of the machinery request energy leads to redundancies. Not overly wasteful, but something to look at. Maybe. If, uh, your engineers are not busy with something else. And if you think it's feasible."

"I'll have a look at it. Don't worry, your suggestions so far have been sound, no reason why this one shouldn't."

Tali smiled beneath her mask, but nonetheless decided to voice her worries: "Not that I complain, but you seem very accepting of the suggestions of a nosy newcomer in the engineering section."

Adams shrugged, saying: "This is a prototype warship. It got pressed into combat service a bit earlier as planned, due to the Battle of Eden Prime, and now again when we got assigned to Shepard, but it also still does serve to gather technological data, and convince everybody on the values of its technological improvements. Meaning that we take whatever further improvements somebody can come up with, so that we can test that as well. And of course so that we can generally be the fittest ship of the Fleet." He smiled as he said so and continued: "But that's not really why I'm here. Whatever you're doing must pause for a bit. Commander Shepard wants to see you. We've reached Proteus, and you are to accompany him to the surface."

"Of course." That after all was her primary duty here, not so much supporting the ship crew, but rather to support directly Shepard as a Spectre. "Then I better do not leave him waiting."


	4. Ch4: Protean Storms and Edolan Monsters

Shepard had been in many battles, and in had passed many difficult situations. He also had taken part in quite many quite hard physical activities during his military career. But mentally, few ordeals felt so exhausting than the talks he just had had with the leaders of the Alliance colony on Proteus. It had begun with them complaining about the use of their shuttle to bring Shepard and his team on-planet, and gotten worse from there. The _Normandy_ could land on planets, of course, just not on Proteus. Or at least, nowhere near enough the colony. The planet was by definition a garden world, owing to the abundance of free water, the nitrogen-oxygen atmosphere, the gravity within standard perimeters and of course the presence of carbon-based life forms. However, it also showed that this definition, 'garden world', did not always mean much. It was a harsh world, with over 90% of its surface were water, and constantly storm-wrecked water at that. The small island chains here and there were all far too small or way too rugged for anything larger than a shuttle to land, and that also made orbital insertion of the Mako impossible. As the _Normandy_ had no shuttle on its own, Shepard had been forced to request use of one of the colony's own shuttles, and while the colony had agreed, the Commander had also gotten tirades about the additional use of fuel and material attrition.

_Of course, such a planet could make anybody grumpy and angry, _he thought. Few sunlight ever fell through the thick cover of clouds that seemed to enclose the entire planet, and instead the dark ocean was constantly illuminated by lightning. And that was not only a psychological problem, but also a real problem in starting any colony at all. Proteus' 12,000 inhabitants actually lived in an experimental colony, with only some few facilities above ground, including a landing pad for the shuttle, right on the cliff of a small island. The main colony was actually underwater, connected to those facilities by a ridiculous long elevator at the cliff side. It was supposed to be an experimental colony, a general test to see whether underwater colonies on foreign worlds would be feasible at all. Still, it seemed as if the Alliance politicians had all but forgotten about their little experiment. Shepard was actually the first Alliance official to pass by in years. Consequently, the colonists had used what he had hoped would only be a short briefing to drown him in all sorts of complaints and messages for the Alliance leadership.

"Glad that's over, sir" Chief Williams commented as they left the meeting, and Shepard could only agree. He had her brought along to the meeting, leaving Lieutenant Alenko and Tali'Zorah in the above surface installations, to help the colonists with some repairs. At least he had gotten something out of it, a whole up to date list of known prothean ruins and debris fields in the Cluster. And just as Navigator Pressley had said, there were lots of them. He would have to go through them in more detail to see which looked like an asari archaeologist of good family would most likely choose for a dig. They would probably still waste days in this god forsaken dead end of the relay network, but at least it was a start. Shepard sighed thinking about it, stepping into the elevator to the surface. _Maybe we should've simply picked up a random Prothean History graduate. Any random Prothean History graduate. _

He really could not wait to be on board the _Normandy_ again. At least the colony seemed to have a decent elevator system. _Funny. Even on this isolated dump of a colony the elevators still are faster than on the Citadel, the centre of the civilised galaxy and all that._ Still, of course a kilometres long way upwards took its time, and when Shepard had arrived at the surface, his patience had all but run its course. Stepping out of the elevator's topside station, he looked out to an asphalted field in front of him, surrounded on all sides by prefabs and ugly steel constructs, which in turn were surrounded already by rocky, barren cliffs falling down to the stormy sea. At least he immediately spotted Lieutenant Alenko, working on some electrical cables on the ground. Then again, he spotted only him.

"Where's Tali?" the Commander asked.

"Up the control tower," the Lieutenant answered. "She worked for two. Usual for her, or so Adams told me. But I think she also wanted to take some time to take a good look at the world. I don't think she has been to an oceanic planet before."

Shepard sighed, but found it unable to muster further anger. He had read up on the quarians since his talk with Tali. And on the turians and krogan, too, for that matter. But the quarians were really the most unusual of those people. Having lost their homeworld, they now wandered the stars in the largest fleet in the galaxy, ten thousands of ships housing seventeen million people. Their mobility ensured that they could always find new resource deposits, but even so they were stretched to the limit. After three hundred years whittling away on those ships, they badly needed a new homeworld, but the Council had driven them away from any attempt they had made so far. Violently, in at least one case even. And their degenerated immune system made them ill-adapted to develop a colony in any new ecological system anyway. Ideally, they needed their homeworld back, but that had been in geth hands for centuries

And so, the current quarians like Tali grew up on crammed, overaged ships, with little material luxuries. They would leave the ships on their pilgrimages, but after return would rarely leave the fleet again. They were quite an insular people, apparently. Which probably meant that what Alenko had said was true: Tali most likely had not seen an ocean like this before. Depending on where she had went before he had found her on the Citadel, maybe she had not seen an ocean, period. While Shepard wanted badly to return to his ship, he did not wish to interrupt her, at least not rudely via intercomm. He shook his head and made his way to the tower, an ugly all-steel construct void of any decoration or even only any other material, and already rusted at some places.

As Shepard could see inside, for a control tower it also had only minimal electronics. Certainly not an ounce more than necessary. Even as he went up the stairs he did scarcely find more than just even more bleak metal. He found Tali on the top level, not noticing his approach. He stopped in the door frame, and did not speak at first. Seeing her stand there, all alone amid the barren steel, looking out to the vast, dark ocean – it tug a string in his heart. _She is a far way from her home, in a galaxy largely hostile to her kind._ He hoped she had at least found a sense of community on the _Normandy_. He would have to ask her, later. And he also needed to have her skills, including her combat skills, undergo a field test, eventually. This little planetary visit had included no danger or threats of combat, so he would have to include her in more ground teams assembled. _Well, at least that way she will get to see even more of the galaxy, until she returns to her people and their ships. _

He made a small cough to draw her attention, and remarked: "I heard you and Lieutenant Alenko did well here. The colonists might not even have been that marginally cooperative as they were if they had not received your technological aid."

"It was nothing, really" Tali answered, turning around. "They have some very clever and well trained people here. They have to, to keep an underwater colony running, that is quite an engineering challenge. It is just that they are a bit ressource strapped, so what we could bring in from the _Normandy_ helped quite a bit."

"And that you know how to deal with limited resources did not?" Shepard asked, ironically.

"It comes..." Tali started.

"...with being a quarian, yes, yes, I know." Shepard interrupted with an ironic half-smile. _She is an odd mix of self-certainty and modesty, that's for sure. _

"But it does!" Tali exclaimed. "Maybe that's something we should consider on the Flotilla. Hiring out advertisers to deep space colonies who, just like we, have to make do with what they have. Of course, some people on pilgrimage do exactly that."

"Well, seems like there's always use for a quarian engineer, then," Shepard replied, smiling. "So I'm glad you came with me. More dangerous, but also more exciting and you get to see the galaxy! You were enjoying the view here?"

"Yes," Tali answered "I've been in space all my life. The ocean reminds me of it, but it is so much more lively. It's just as vast, or at least looks just as vast, but it isn't just void. It's movement, turbulence, at least here. And even though it only spans a single planet, it makes one feel small in a way space never does. Or, never to me anyway. Since I am likely used to space."

Shepard did not quite know what to make of that. Maybe from a quarian point of view it was just smalltalk. Reading up on quarian customs, he had read it mentioned again and again just how sociable a people the quarians were, to make up for their individual isolations in the suits. Still, in a way it moved him. "Well, then," he managed to answer. "Let's head back to space for now. I got what we came for. Let's return to the _Normandy_ and find Dr T'soni."

After returning to the Ship, Shepard and Pressley had gone through the list from the colony. The cluster had virtually dozens of prothean sites, though most of them were little more than a single wall or column remaining, and hence probably not worth visiting. However, even after sorting out all those places, and prioritizing on the most promising looking sites for a dig, they ended up with no less than five potential locations. It was not as bad as finding a needle in a haystack any more, but bad enough. The Commander and his XO had both agreed the best looking prothean ruin was the one in the Sparta system: A nearly intact bio-dome on an asteroid in the system, probably used in its time for housing miners. They had no way of knowing whether Dr T'Soni was there, but it was a start, at least.

He had Joker fly the _Normandy_ at a low cruising speed. Having two ground missions in one ship day would probably be a bad idea, and he also needed to put together equipment most likely needed for an expedition on an airless, low gravity asteroid. The rest of the day, though, he spent relaying the Proteans' complaints to Arcturus Station, centre of the Alliance, and with talking to his crew and ground team. Especially the latter was an odd mix, to be sure, and in the most different moods. Wrex and Garrus were not talkative at all; the former probably because that was just his nature, and the latter probably because of Shepard's improvised lecture on the turian's first day aboard. Ashley Williams seemed still bitter about what had happened to her unit on Eden Prime, blaming herself for it. And Tali still was overenthusiastic about the technological capabilities of the ship. He had to remind her that such an advanced state of technology was not Alliance standard, but that rather the _Normandy_ was a prototype ship. Still, her excitement was refreshing.

The _Normandy_ entered the Sparta system the next day, just as Shepard was going through the ship's available gear for missions on hostile environment worlds. Sitting in his room, a concentrated look on the datapad in his hands, he almost jumped when he heard Joker's voice on the intercomm:

"Commander, I'm picking up a signal. Seems to come from this planet we're passing by. Edolus, currently at point six AUs distance. I think it's an automated distress beacon, Alliance standard."

Of course, the _Normandy_, as an Alliance ship, was bound by standing orders to check out such signals and render aid when necessary. As a Spectre, Shepard could maybe override this, but there was little reason to, and 0.6 AU was basically no distance anyway. "All right, set course for the planet, Joker. Bring us into orbit directly above the signal."

_Truth be told, a distraction from those equipment lists is kinda nice._

He commed Garrus and Tali to suit up and meet him at the Mako. He wanted to test the capabilities of "his" aliens, and he figured Wrex already was tested as is. Besides, some place in the vehicle needed to be reserved in case persons had to be transported away from whatever had caused the distress. And it would be a nice test run for the ship's Mako, too, which so far had found no use. Shepard was certified to handle and drive armoured vehicles, but he feared he could have become a bit out of practice. So it would be a test run for him, too. _Let's hope it's nothing that will all test us to our limits._

He was a bit unsure when he started the orbital insertion. The last time he had dropped a tank to the surface of a world was... _Hm. Must've been before the Blitz, even. _He knew of course that due to the Mako's thrusters and especially its mass effect generators it was nearly impossible for the vehicle not to land on its wheels, and he also knew the driving system was intelligent enough to be close to fool-proof, but he still was feeling uneasy. And it did not help much that the same was true of Tali and Garrus; neither of them was a soldier and it so far after had not been expected for them to make surface drops in armoured vehicles. Still, each of the three managed to present a calm enough exterior, even though an "Oh, spirits" escaped Garrus' mouth at one point.

Edolus itself was a lifeless rock, covered in silicate sands and scarred by small impact craters. Small debris hit the planet at an almost hourly base, due to the gravity pull of its inner neighbour, the gas giant Ontamalca. Its dark sky, darkened by the high prevalence of CO2 in the atmosphere was again and again lit by meteorites closing in, and on the ground only some few rocks stood out amidst the sand. The best summary to describe the world, though, was "yellow" - both the ground and the air, probably due to dust, were in that ever-same colour, the way everything on Mars was red.

At least the Mako's landing on this harsh world was against all expectations soft enough. _Seems like I haven't lost the touch, _Shepard thought and checked his instruments. The vehicle was fully functional, and the signal was nearby in northern direction.

"I'm sure this planet doesn't get a lot of tourism," Tali commented dryly once they hit the ground, looking out of the window.

"At least your awfully limited choice in armour is paying off for now, Tali," Garrus remarked. "You can't go out there without a helmet anyway."

"Very funny, Garrus." Tali replied, "You've heard me explain to Dr Chakwas that the envirosuit is for protection against diseases. None of us quarians can just so take off our helmets, no matter the planet."

"I see," Garrus said "Well, the quarians endangered the entire galaxy when they let the geth break free. I hope your people are properly contrite."

_What the hell?_, Shepard thought _Does he have to bring this up now? Or say such shit at all?_ He was was about to speak up, but Tali proved quite capable of holding her own, saying: "Just as the turians are properly contrite for releasing the genophage upon the krogan?"

"You're assuming that sterilising them was a mistake," Garrus answered calmly.

"I don't know about a mistake," Shepard chimed in now, temper flaring up, though he managed to keep that from appearing in his voice "but it sure was a crime. Just as attacking a previously unknown species out of the blue was, occupying one of their planets and showing no regard for civilian life. All for violating a rule that species had no way of knowing, and all without ever telling them about that rule, too. Not that said species was in Citadel jurisdiction at that time, anyway, so said rule didn't even apply to them!"

"That..." Garrus began "Uh... hm." _Good. Apparently that had him shut up. _"Well, let's not bring up old disagreements again" the C-Sec agent finally managed to say.

"I hope you see the irony in your statement, turian," Tali answered sarcastically. "And for the record, the Council refused to give us any aid against the geth 'breaking free'."

Fortunately, that ended that rather unfortunate conversation, and not too early, either. "Target now in under half a click distance" Shepard announced. _I'll have to have a talk with Garrus. Again. About team behaviour, this time. Of course, maybe I wasn't really professional, either, but whatever. Lame excuse as it may be but I didn't start it._

He had to admit that he had – not exactly an anti-turian bias, not that. He knew turians were individuals, and that quite many turians disagreed with this or that aspect of the Turian Hierarchy. Some even disagreed with the entire concept of it altogether, and some colonies were only very uneasily part of it. Other turian colonies, in the Terminus Systems for example, were not even part of it at all. Turians were in that aspect just as diverse as humans were. But that made the bad sides of the Turian Hierarchy all the more inexcusable. _An anti-Turian Hierarchy bias, maybe that covers it best. And a reflexive dislike of any major action the Hierarchy has taken. Not that my criticisms were incorrect, just maybe not appropriate on a mission. Ah well, my temper got the better of me again._

Soon, shapes came into sight that were surely not native to the planet. Looking through the Mako's magnifier, he could make out a damaged M29 Grizzly and an electronic structure that was probably a communication buoy, most likely the one emitting the distress signal. And bodies. He could not yet see it clearly, but several dead bodies seemed to lie around vehicle and buoy. Apparently Shepard had come too late.

"Be careful now," he announced. "Something killed whoever sent out the signal, and whatever it was may still be..."

He did not get to finish the sentence. The ground shook, and a ridiculously, abnormally large creature came out of it, a giant worm with clawed arms and a terrible blue tongue. Threateningly it loomed over them, directly in front of them, an alien form almost skyscraper high, all mouth and claws, blocking out the faint sun in the sky. Instinctively, Shepard fired a shot from the Mako's cannon at it, glad that the vehicle's intelligent control system allowed him command over both driving and shooting at once.

"Thresher Maw!" both he and Garrus shouted at the same time, answering Tali's simultaneous question: "Keelah, what is that?"

Shepard turned the Mako around, taking some shots with its machine guns at the beast, before driving into the relative safety of some nearby rock plateau. His mind raced, as he did his heart. He himself had never encountered such a creature before, but he was no stranger to them, either. _Sarah's retellings of what happened on Akuze told me plenty of them. Those had been... vivid._ It was almost like a beast of legend, but he knew all too well how real they were. In a way it was strange of thinking about revenge against dumb animals, but that was exactly what occupied the Commander's thoughts at the moment as soon as he could focus them again.

"Keelah..." Tali exclaimed once they had reached the safe rocks. "Can we deploy the _Normandy_ to support us?"

"From orbit?" Garrus asked, though not in a voice that outright dismissed the question. Now, during combat, or rather in a combat pause, he seemed very calm and professional. Especially considering just what they had just encountered. "No. That thing would be under the ground again before the ship's kinetic strikes could reach it, and at GARDIAN range it would be just as vulnerable to the Maw as we are."

"Which however isn't all that much," Shepard commented grimmly. "We are in armoured tank. We should be able to take it down."

"This vehicle looks like it can take some severe punishment," Tali agreed.

"Maybe," Garrus admitted. "But is it really necessary? It's your decision, Commander, but I'd advise against it."

"So noted," Shepard answered. "But that thing already took down one Alliance military unit. If we don't defeat it and their distress beacon continues to broadcast the signal, more might follow."

"I'm ready, Commander," Tali announced. "Even if the Mako is hit somewhere, well, I'm also trained in field repairs. Under enemy fire, if need be."

"Ready as well, Commander" Garrus agreed.

"Then let's do this," Shepard said and began to drive the Mako towards the beast's nest again, slowly and carefully at first.

The Maw had gone underground again after the team had escaped its first appearance, but they did not have wait for long for it to reappear again. Just as suddenly as the first time, it broke through the ground again, and its worm-like body again rose up right in front of them, reaching the sky. Its sheer size was maddening. However, Shepard immediately sprang into action. It felt strange going against such a large creature, several times larger than even the Mako, but it was quite a liberating feeling for the Commander to open fire on it. Even Garrus joined in, using his sniper rifle to take shots at the Maw. Shepard doubted that would amount to much damage, but also figured everything would help. He grinned at the turian's bravado.

However, the Thresher Maw soon responded in kind, spitting out its dangerous yellow acid. Shepard had read up everything on those animals, and he knew that Thresher Maw acid was still a poorly understood chemical substance – but enough was known about it from a battlefield perspective, and most of that knowledge amounted to the advise of staying the hell away from it. The Mako went into reverse gear, hard. Inertial forces hit its passengers hard, but it was worth it: The acid missed the vehicle only be some mere meters.

"Shit, shit, shit," Shepard cursed with a pressed voice, though more to verbally blow off steam than out of real anger. So far, things had been tense but gone well. He immediately fired the Mako's cannon again as soon as it cooled down. Its slug, accelerated by a mass effect, hit the Thresher Maw just below it mouth with a great impact force. The beast threw back its head, convoluted – and vanished in less than a second.

"It's still alive!" Garrus shouted, to Shepard's great, irrational annoyance. _As if I didn't know._

"I know!" he shouted back. "Now shut up and focus!" He couldn't see how Garrus, sitting a row behind him, took this, but the turian did shut up. The Commander yanked the Mako forwards again as fast as he could, taking a sharp curve. "Can't be sitting ducks," he explained in a hasty voice, "Sorry I snapped, Garrus"

"No worries, Commander," Garrus replied.

As predicted by Shepard, the Thresher Maw burrowed itself again to the surface after only a short battle break. Displacing enormous amounts of desert sand, which sprayed to all sides, it darted upwards again, targeting the Mako. With the beast now at the vehicle's side, the Spectre had to refocus the targeting system first, but as soon as had done so he opened fire with both cannon and machine gun on it. A spit of acid hit the Mako's path, landing behind the vehicle just a scant few meters, and then another one missed just the same way. Shepard began to strafe around the Thresher Maw, landing several shots, before the beast burrowed again. Shepard growled, a deep heart-felt sound of battle heat and annoyance at the Thresher Maw's hit and run tactics. He noticed Tali gave him a quick side-glance, but there was no time to feel self-conscious. He continued the circle the Mako was currently driving - but that proved to be a mistake. Way quicker than before the Thresher Maw reappeared again, though only the accompanying sounds and the Mako's sensors told him that time.

"It's right behind us!" Garrus shouted.

"Ah, damn. Damnit, damnit, damnit," Shepard cursed, employing his rather limited vocabulary in that respect. "We need to go faster, or we're done for!"

"Opening up the safety locks on the Mako's velocity," Tali announced.

"Do it!" Shepard commanded, while Garrus again muttered: "Spirits..."

Soon after, the vehicle did go faster. Shepard had few conceptions of the technology behind it, but he was aware the safety lock had been there for a reason, and Tali's muttering confirmed it: "That will require quite some repair work."

The Commander only hoped the vehicle would not fall apart on the battlefield, but for now it seemed sound enough, even if it made some rather unhealthy noises he had not heard from it before. He raced it to safety, up a nearby rock cliff.

"That... was intense," Tali commented once the Mako came to a stop.

"Well, I did want to see the world outside of C-Sec," Garrus said self-ironically. "I guess I succeeded a bit too well."

"Yeah, well," Shepard replied, adrenaline still racing through his body. "Everybody all right?

"I'm fine," Tali announced. "And the Mako, too, best I can tell."

"We don't seem to have suffered any wounds or damage yet at all," Garrus generalised. "Even if it was close. So, do we continue?"

"Don't like half-finished work," Shepard replied grimly, and then shook his head after a pause. "Okay, that phrase was utterly cliché. Truth is, we have to keep going. Same reason as why we started it in the first place."

"Let's hope then our good luck doesn't run out," Tali commented.

"We better not rely on good luck," Shepard answered. "I was a damn fool to drive around in the Thresher Maw's nest like that. Yeah, better then standing around, but it might be better even if we copy its tactics. Hit'n'run, that is. As soon as it appears, we drive backwards again up those rocks here."

"Sounds reasonable," Garrus observed. "And I'm certainly not opposed to a less adventurous strategy."

Tali nodded sharply in agreement, and Shepard did likewise. He drove the Mako around, and approached the plain again carefully.

It proved to be quite a successful strategy. Immediately when the Thresher Maw showed itself, Shepard would drive the Mako backwards out of range again, firing at it the whole time. The creature's counter attacks were surprisingly easy to handle that way, owing to the combination of a very fine tuned steering system, thrusters and an element zero reactor allowing the Mako to easily dodge any acid attacks.

"That's more like it," Garrus commented at one point. Shepard had to agree to some degree, but he also felt annoyed at the new slow pace of the battle. It was maddeningly frustrating to have the Thresher Maw hiding again after only one or two shots. _Stay focused, Jon. This is not the time for any misguided conceptions about personal vendetta. _And it was not like that no progress at all was evident. The apparently quite hardened skin of the Thresher Maw showed only few signs of damage, but the Mako's sensor gave a rough estimation of the damage the enemy had taken, and it gradually if slowly increased. However, those sensors readings were of course dubious quality, as there was too few known about Thresher Maws.

Garrus apparently agreed, saying at another point: "Somebody should calibrate those damn sensors. No way the Maw still stands with so much damage taken!"

Shepard could only agree. The amount of punishment the beast could take was astonishing. By all estimations, it should already be dead, and that only added to his frustration. "Fuck that shit," he finally muttered under his breath, and accelerated the Mako. "Were finishing that thing now or never!" he announced.

"Oh, here we go again..." Tali commented, but did not object.

Rationally, Shepard realised this had not exactly been his wisest command decision, but he had decided now and all that was left to do was to execute it. He barely gave another glance when the alien beast rose in front of him again, its formerly terror inducing size by now a known sight. He yanked the Mako sidewards and began to strafe the Thresher Maw again, driving and steering at reckless speeds while firing without interruption, even at the detriment of his aim. The creature, on its part, seemed just as intent to have a final battle, or so it seemed to Shepard. While that was probably anthropomorphic nonsense, it did stay outside longer than usual, trying more often to hit its enemy with its dangerous acid.

And it succeeded.

Shepard had not expected it, but suddenly the back end of the Mako swerved back and forth. While that was quickly, brought under control, the cause of it soon became clear.

"We're hit!" Tali announced. "Damage at the backside. Might burn through to steering electronics, trying to fix that. Can't do anything about structural integrity out here." With that, she climbed out of her seat, making her way to the backside of the vehicle.

Shepard growled again. The Thresher Maw had gone again, too, disappeared again into its sub-surface nest, so the Commander had no choice but to make for the cliffs again. At least maybe from there he could fall back to the old and tried strategy.

But it did not come to that.

Just as Shepard already thought him safe for the moment, the ground rumbled again in a by then well known pattern, and the ground before the Mako opened. The terrible, majestic head appeared, of the Thresher Maw appeared, hovering almost on ground level right in front of the vehicle, as if it waited for its opponent to drive right into its digestion system. The real reason of course was that the beast rose noticeably slower than before, and it seemed less secure in its movements, too. Nonetheless, the first thing it did was to spit acid, right into the vehicle's approach. Shepard accelerated, and the yellow substance missed them by a hair's breadth – they had darted away below it. In fact, some drops did hit the Mako, but not enough to do any real damage.

"Too close for comfort!" Tali complained, but as she nonetheless went on to repair the damaged electronics that was very much an excusable minor lapse in discipline.

_That is the end battle now _Shepard thought _us or it _Having come too dangerously close to the alien beast, Shepard now also had to evade giant, brown claws hitting at the Mako. The beast seemed to be all around him and his companions now – its body a massive tower in front of them, its head above them, its claw at their sides. However, by now the Thresher Maw's injuries were notable, and the hits were too slurry and slow to hit their mark. The Commander drove past the beast, missing it again far too close for comfort, hitting it again with the cannon at this close distance, to then gain distance as fast as he could.

However, he did not make for the cliffs again. Instead, he indeed ended the battle now. Driving parallel to it again after having gained sufficient distance, the Mako's cannon finally finished the Thresher Maw off after two more shots. It shook and convulsed several times, before finally crumbling down, its entire massive above-terrain length falling to the ground, starting a giant dust cloud.

A collective breath of relief could be heard inside the Mako. _One down, god knows how many hundreds to go..._

"Not that I want to shirk away from my responsibilities, but that was definitely not on the job description for a Spectre's geth expert," Tali half complained, half joked, still not looking up from her repair works.

Shepard laughed, thus dragged out of his dark thoughts. "I'm ever so sorry, Tali," he replied. "Next time, I'll try to take on the giant beast on food, alone." He shook his head and breathed out. "Damn, but that was at times really closer then it should've been."

"Yes," Garrus agreed. "But we were victorious. That's the only thing that matters right now."

"I guess," Shepard replied. "Well done, people! Your conduct during the battle was very professional. And very successful." _That mission was supposed to be a test of them. Not like that, of course, but damn, did they ever pass with flying colours._ He activated the Mako's communication systems: "Normandy, this is Commander Shepard with ground team. Do you copy?"

"Right here, Commander," Joker's voice immediately replied.

"We encountered and defeated a Thresher Maw," Shepard reported. "Lots of dead bodies around here, so we suspect that thing caused the distress signal to be sent."

"Whoa now, hold on there, Commander!" Joker replied. _So much for professional conduct in my crew..._ "Did you just say 'Thresher Maw'? Because I totally heard you saying that."

"Confirmed," Shepard answered and smirked. "Minimal damage to the Mako, no injuries to the team."

"That explains the odd movements of the Mako we have tracked up here," XO Pressley's voice cut in, much more serious and disciplined than Joker's.

"Yeah," the Flight Lieutenant confirmed, "like you were dancing tango with that car or something."

Shepard rolled his eyes, but smiled. "You do sound like the person who would take technical gear to a dance, Joker," he jested, "In any case, we will now investigate the bodies. Do we have coffins aboard the _Normandy_?"

"Confirmed," Pressley answered after a pause. "After all, crew deaths are expected on this mission. I'll go check how many, can't find the number in these cargo lists..."

"Good, have them prepared. Ground team over and out."

Shepard slowly drove the Mako to the emergency buoy and the bodies around it. He flinched when he saw them laying there. The battle had not allowed for a more detailed look, but now the visual impression hit him in force. Over a dozen badly mangled bodies. It must have been a massacre for the Marines. He left the Mako together with his team, careful and still paranoid that something bad could happen. Garrus was the first to walk to the bodies, once everybody was sufficiently sure no new horror would jump at them from behind the cliffs or from below the sand. After a while he observed: "Wounds seem consistent with a Thresher Maw attack. Acid burns and claw slashes. At least we don't have to worry about other monsters here, it seems."

Shepard nodded. "I'll have to comm Arcturus Station, see what they were doing out here... wait a moment!" he suddenly interrupted himself. "Those unit markings, isn't that – that's the unit Admiral Kahoku spoke about." Garrus and Tali gave him puzzled looks, or at least Shepard assumed Tali looked puzzled behind the mask, too. "I met him at the Citadel Tower. Whatever, he said a recon team had been lost in the cluster two weeks ago. Well, now we know why."

"Then you should contact him as well. First and foremost him even, probably," Garrus advised.

"Of course," Shepard replied. "I'm just wondering... look at how devastated that Grizzly is. How they're all slaughtered. How the hell did they have time to set up a distress beacon?"

"They didn't," Tali spoke up. She had taken a closer look at the buoy, standing near it now. "That thing has been sending far longer than two weeks. Also, I can't find any registration number on it, making it impossible to trace back. Now, why would somebody use such a buoy?"

"A trap," Shepard immediately replied, almost hissing. "They were lured to here. Just as we have been."

"But why?" Garrus asked confused. "Aside from Proteus, nearly nobody is in this sector. If people want to lay traps for Alliance troops, there must have been better places. Even better places with Thresher Maws. If its a trap it's a very inefficient one."

"Damn if I know," Shepard replied. "I know Thresher Maws can be found pretty much in every star cluster if you look long enough... no idea why they chose one here. Whoever did that. But Tali's arguments do not leave much room for interpretation."

"I can't be sure," the quarian spoke up again, "but there are also marks on its lower side, pointing to it having suffered some impact force. As if it was dropped from above, maybe."

"From a safe distance to the Thresher Maw," Shepard concluded.

"And hence not erected by the marines," Garrus added. "Also, if it was done to avoid the Thresher Maw, then its location must have been known."

"Making this a clear, direct attack on the Alliance!" Shepard exclaimed, angrily. "Whoever did that... We may not know who did it or why, but the Alliance won't let that slide!" He shook his head and tried to calm down. "Right. The corpses will be recovered to the _Normandy, _and the buoy should be transported to the ship as well. This requires an investigations by more professional instances then us. And I will definitely tell Admiral Kahoku."


	5. Ch5: Therum

After the battle against the Thresher Maw on Edolus, Shepard had elected to stay behind on the next mission, and had ordered both Tali and Garrus to take a ship day off. Instead, Lieutenant Alenko took a troop of marines to explore the prothean asteroid, Chief Williams. While she was usually uncomfortable doing nothing, Tali had seen the logic behind the Commander's decisions. Extra rack time in the sleeping pods had been welcome. After the battle she felt exhausted, not only physically, but also mentally. Safe behind the armoured hull of the Mako as she had been, it had not been quite as bad as when facing that one geth patrol, or Fist's agents, but it had been bad enough. A surprise battle with a gargantuan space monster was nothing to just laugh off.

The Migrant Fleet used sleeping pods where it could too – they allowed for marvellous savings in space use, the prime lacking resource in the Flotilla. However, as with most pieces of non-essential technology, sleeping pods were limited, and not every ship had them. Her own birth ship, the _Rayya_, had a contingent of them, but nowhere near enough for its entire population, which was one of the largest of the Fleet. After leaving the environmental safe bubble of her early childhood Tali had rarely slept in pods, usually only after a heavy shift or outside maintenance to the _Rayya_.

Such pods were not mere holding containers, but instead involved a lot of technology. They allowed their occupants to sleep optimised and without turning, something entirely impossible within them. Without that technology, the few sleeping pods on the _Normandy_ would never have been enough for the entire crew. However, those pods of course been designed with humans in mind, or at least levo-chiral beings of similar proportions. That Tali could now climb into a pod at all in order to use it was a small miracle itself, and she had to thank her colleagues in Engineering for it.

Apparently, even though nobody had foreseen that a krogan, a turian and a quarian could ever de facto become part of an Alliance ship crew, the pods had proven adaptable enough for at least the latter two – Wrex of course was simply physically too big to fit into a pod. Unsurprisingly, these adaptions were not perfect, though. Neither she nor Garrus could access some of the pods more advanced options, like employing neurodepressants. In other words, they had to fall asleep entirely on their own, and in Tali's case that had proven something of a problem. In her three sleep rotations aboard so far, she had noticed how uncomfortably quiet the ship was. Apparently, for most humans that was an ideal sleeping condition, the pods could even be made sound-proof. But as a quarian she had been culturally conditioned, so to say, to associate quietness on a ship with failing equipment – silent technology was another example of non-essential equipment that was uncommon and in this case even extremely rare on the Flotilla, and so quarian ship equipment was always loud – except when it failed.

So far, her excitement and enthusiasm about being aboard, and her commitment to her new work posting at Engineering had left her sufficiently exhausted at the end of each working period that she had been able to sleep anyway. However, even though she felt exhausted now, too, sleep just would not come. She lay inside the pod, starring outwards onto its opaque glass, not moving, too exhausted and lulled for thought yet too alert to fall asleep. When she finally did drift into a light and shallow slumber, it did not last long. Slowly she came out of it again, realising after a while to her chagrin that she was awake again. According to her suit electronics she had been asleep for only a little more than two standard hours. Grudgingly, she climbed out her pod, acknowledging the fact that she would not be able to get back to sleep. She could try again later, in her regular sleeping period.

There was one thing the _Normandy_ for all its modern flashiness had in common with the Migrant Fleet – the extreme lack of space. There were no private quarters except for the Captain's, only the sleeping pods and the directly adjacent mess. While from a normal human estimation this did not leave much for privacy, for a quarians of this day and age like Tali it was the normal state of affairs. It was one thing at least where her suit provided her with a real advantage; it was an extra mobile layer of privacy, so to say. Not that such extra privacy was as necessary as on the Fleet. Despite the scarcity of sleeping and eating space, hardly anybody was in the area, at least to her sensibilities. That was another thing she only could get used to with difficulty: The _Normandy_ felt empty to her, decisively understaffed. It was another issue she so far had buried under excitement and work, but now she realised just what had felt slightly amiss those last days: she knew the ship was in fact slightly overstaffed, what with Shepard's 'spectre entourage' on board, but she was used to the crammed condition on Flotilla ships, and compared to that the _Normandy _could almost as well have been a ghost ship.

Tired and annoyed at herself for not having been able to sleep properly, she forewent her usually rather graceful gait to slump towards the mess. Food dispersal was one of those things which were in conception surprisingly similar to their equivalents on the Migrant Fleet: food rations were supervised; yet within that supervision everybody was free to take some of it as they seemed fit. There were no central meals for entire watch crews, the mess was too small for it, and so instead everybody ate when they had time and place for it – or at least eveybdoy but her. There was dextro-chiral food available, brought aboard for Garrus and in theory she could eat the same stuff as the turian, but in practice that would lead to an intolerable contamination with germs. She would have to make do with her nutrition pastes from her pilgrimage reserves again.

On her way to the central mess table, Tali saw Lieutenant Alenko sitting there, surrounded by Chief Williams and a handful of the other marines. The Lieutenant waved her over, and after some short hesitation she made a mental shrug and sat down at the table. Some of the glances the other marines gave her made her doubt that everybody welcomed her presence, but she did not really care. She was quite sufficiently used to that kind of glances that they did not bother her any more. And while she was not as sociable as other quarians she could use distraction now, as she had nothing better to do anyway.

She nodded her head slightly in greeting as she sat down.

"Sleep well?" Alenko asked, after having gulped down a bite from his food, something human that Tali could not identify.

"Well enough," Tali replied, without going into details. While she was not averse to small talk, her lack of sleep was really her problem, not his. He was still mostly a stranger, and hence she did not want to burden him with her problems. "Was there anything unusual on the asteroid?"

"No asari archaeologists with questionable family ties, at least," Chief Williams answered with her voice as sharp as practically always.

"We found some old prothean optical disk, though," Alenko went on, "Fully intact, from what we can tell. Maybe we can bribe her with it. Well, once we find ."

"If she requires bribing, we'll drag her blue ass onto the ship instead," Williams claimed, and some of the marines laughed." Williams claimed, and some of the marines laughed.

"I'm happy I was not recruited that way," Tali joked.

"I'm sure an archaeologist will be a great battle prize" one of the Marines, a person Tali had not seen before on the ship, added, drawing further laughter from one of his companions and a chuckle from Alenko. Williams flinched at both statements, but did not comment. The remaining marine at the table rolled her eyes, and continued to give Tali a look of contempt.

"Anyway," Alenko cut in, voice deliberately loud, "from what I've heard you had a... more interesting ground mission than us."

"Interesting is not quite the word I would've used," Tali answered. "More like an unexpected mess we were lucky to survive."

"I'd call that interesting," Williams commented.

This drew another joke from the same Marine as before: "You hang out with the krogan too often down in the cargo bay, Chief."

"Commander Shepard had some praise for the battle discipline of you and Garrus," Alenko explained, "so seems to me it was more than just luck."

Tali had never taken praise gracefully, and now was no exception. However, the fact that Commander Shepard held a high opinion of her performance pleased her very much. "It was close enough at times that luck must have had something to do with it," she answered, opening her paste tube.

"Luck is part of a soldier's life," Williams spoke up. "Better get used to it. Seems like you've done well enough so far. Well, that is... at least... for a civilian, " she said after some stumbling, and Tali had a pretty good idea what she had meant to say originally, and going by the short, sharp glance Alenko was shooting to Williams, so did he. She decided to ignore it, though.

"I got military training," she explained. "Before I left the Flotilla. I don't think I would've been able to perform any action at all down there otherwise."

"Three hooray for basic," Williams replied, sarcastically unenthusiastic and grinning.

"Hmpf," one marine grunted, the woman who given Tali judgemental looks. She now looked rather disgusted at the quarian using her paste tube "So even our military jobs are now outsourced to quarians?"

"Oh, come on, Ilona!" her companion exclaimed, while Alenko asked sternly: "Is this supportive of crew cooperation, Private Bethlen?"

"Uh... I guess not," Bethlen answered, though it sounded forced. "Sorry then, Lieutenant... Tali'Zorah. I... wasn't thinking. Excuse me ." And with that she stood up and left the table. _A flight. To continue what Williams has said, three hooray for military discipline._

The Marine who had so far sat next to her shook his head and commented "The Migrant Fleet hasn't even been through Alliance space so far. It's silly, she's just parroting what the other races say."

"Many people do these days," Williams commented, and her voice made it clear that she was not at all pleased about that.

After that incident, the conversation at the table turned towards mere small talk. Still, Tali thought it good to socialise with people outside Engineering, especially people with whom she most likely would go on ground missions. Of course, she was already more or less acquainted with Lieutenant Alenko, and her image of him was only further strengthened in the conversation – he was a quiet, thoughtful and all around polite person. She had heard people in Engineering talking about how he suffered from periodic heavy headaches due to the poor quality of early human biotic amplifiers. Something Tali knew nothing about as there had been fewer than six quarian biotics in total since the establishment of the Migrant Fleet three hundred years ago, but if that was true, he was incredibly commandably stoic about it. Tali certainly had seen people with chronic pains who were more grumpy or angry with life, which was rather useless, in her opinion – there was no alternative to playing with the cards the universe dealt to one, after all.

In a way, Chief Williams was the exact opposite. It would have been wrong to say she was always angry, from what Tali had seen, but certainly always... _spirited, temperamental. _Tali did not quite know what else to think of her. It was plain that Williams did not trust her, but she did not seem to be as pettily hostile as Private Bethlen had been. At the moment she was entertaining the table with funny anecdotes from her family life. In general, such sense of family was always very appreciated by quarians, but in Tali's own case, with her own family, that had always been a bit more complicated. It was in a way ironic that apparently the Chief's father had been more or less just as absent as her own.. _Well, just as I expected: Getting to know a new crew is always a challenge in itself._ _I'll just have to wait and see where this goes. _

By the time she had finished her nutrient paste tube, the human soldiers had all left the table already, leaving Tali a bit unsure what to do in her remaining free time. as she decided to drop in on Engineering. Even leaving aside the fact that she generally felt more content if she could contribute to something, doing anything at all was in any case always preferable to utter boredom.

On the Fleet only very labour-intensive maintenance kept the centuries old ships flying. However, while there was never a shortage of tasks, there were always too many able hands, due to the ships' overpopulation. That resulted in enough free time for chatting and other social activities, careful arranged to stay out of the way of maintenance crews as they went about their jobs. In Tali's case, additionally there also had been the special demands placed upon her by her father. On the _Normandy, _however, she now she had no idea how to fill her free time.

On her way to the reactor core, down the elevator, she passed the cargo bay. It was filled with several cargo boxes, the Mako and now also the comm buoy from Edolus and in one corner several coffins stacked above each other. She was surprised to see Garrus standing next to the Mako, focused on a technical console. Apparently, he had not fully followed the rest and recovery order, either. She smirked at the thought of her verbal sparring with him on Edolus before the battle with the Thresher Maw. The turian in the end had to defend himself from both her and the Commander, but the ensuing vindication for her made for a good memory.

Garrus looked up just as she stepped outside the elevator. To her surprise, he spoke up: "Ah, Tali, a moment please?"

She briefly considered refusing him. It was not that she actively disliked him; too many people voiced prejudices and disapprovals of the quarians for her to get angry about it. She was simply wary. As far as she was concerned he could think whatever he wanted, but that did not mean she wanted to hear it or necessarily socialise with him. However, she was not quite sure what she would do in Engineering anyway, and for her part, she put a bit more stock in teamwork than he apparently did. So in the ended she heeded his call and walked towards him.

However, he did not quite seem to know what to say once she got there. So to break the ice Tali said: "Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

"Technically, yes," Garrus answered, "but I couldn't think of anything to occupy my time. And well, Commander Shepard doesn't really rest, either. He's restricted himself to easy work for the duration of this watch. So, I've turned to analysing the Mako. We might need it on our next ground mission. Repair can be done by Engineering, but simply running the checks on it isn't exactly hard work."

"But it could be taken over by Engineering as well," Tali stated.

"True," Garrus admitted. "But it seems somebody screwed up in making the deployment table for this ship. Engineering might become a bit overstretched if it also has to repair all non-ship mechanic on board, or so I heard. So this way I can take up at least some of the work."

Again there was a pause, and Garrus did not tell what it was that he initially wanted, so Tali went on: "What's the next mission, anyway? Have you heard?"

"Yes, Commander Shepard told me," Garrus replied. "Therum, an industrial outpost of the Alliance. We could've gone there first, too. It also has some settlers. If T'Soni is there it'll be tedious, but I guess better than having to continue searching."

"It allowed us to take out the Thresher Maw, and discover that covert attack on the Alliance," Tali pointed out.

"Heh. Same thing I told the Commander, in fact," Garrus answered. "Ah... well, he also said more than just that. It's... ah, thing is, I wanted to apologise to you. I, ah..."

Again he stumbled over his words, and so Tali used the pause to ask: "Did Commander Shepard order you to?"

"Not exactly," Garrus replied. "He talked to me about that... incident. It's strange, really. Many turians do not like the concept of Spectres. The entire point of the Hierarchy is to have a due and proper order, and the entire point of Spectres is to operate outside any due and proper order. But what many turians, including myself, always admired about Spectres is how... focused they do whatever is necessary to reach their aims. Decisively and if, need be, ruthlessly. That's the image I had of Spectres - and Shepard has... upset it." Before Tali could answer the turian spoke up again: "Don't get me wrong, it's a learning experience. Shepard was chosen to be a Spectre by the Council on the nomination of a turian Spectre. So I cannot just dismiss that. It's just... a bit odd."

"He does seem to be somebody special. Well, that is, somebody standing out from the masses, I mean," Tali replied, stumbling a bit over her formulations. But it was true: Shepard did stand quite outside the norm. She was carefully curious where Garrus' explanations would lead to. "But what exactly has this to do with our verbal sparring match?"

"Well..." Garrus answered. "I usually have clearly defined notions about certain groups of people. I don't know if it's because of turian society, my upbringing or just me, but it's an attitude that was very helpful at C-Sec. C-Sec is good, bureaucrats holding us back are bad, and criminals are of course very bad, and so on." "

"And you also used that attitude of categorising people on races," Tali observed, annoyed.

"Well, yes," Garrus admitted. "Batarians and krogan are potentially violent troublemakers, asari potentially manipulative, humans disorderly, salarians obsessed with this or that and elcor stubborn. I know it's not always fair, and I know very well there are peaceful batarians, socially awkward asari and reasonable humans and salarians. But that isn't the point. By categorising people I always have a rough estimation of what to expect, and it rarely fails."

"And what is your usual estimation of quarians?" Tali asked.

"Well, that's just it. I have... well, had access to all the police records and crime statistics. I know quarians are not on average worse criminals than anybody else. All those prejudices are just that, prejudices. I know that. However, I guess, when you start to categorise people, you begin to view them in only black and white. The quarians have to fit somewhere on that scale, so I just dismissed them based on actions three hundred years ago, out of bad habit, so to say."

To Tali, such an attitude sounded simply incredibly stupid, but at least Garrus seemed to recognise some errors with it now, too. She struck a defiant pose, cocking her head back, crossing her arms and straightening her back, as she waited for Garrus to continue.

"I don't think having certain estimations of what to expect from certain groups is bad per se," Garrus went on, "but I took it further than that. I guess, from a turian point of view I could still hold the quarians today responsible for what your ancestors have done three hundred years ago, but the entire point of the Citadel is to have good relationships between the various species without one imposing their concepts on the others. So, I shouldn't just so have dismissed you or your people, and I really should not have brought this up on a ground mission on uncharted terrain. For both I apologise."

"I must admit, this comes as a surprise," Tali answered. "You sound honest enough. And few enough people think their mistakes over.

"As I said, Commander Shepard seems to have that effect," Garrus commented. "I'm not entirely giving up my way of thinking, but in this one case I've been stupid."

"We'll have to work together in any case," Tali continued, "so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and accept your apology."

"Don't worry, I won't screw this up again," Garrus replied.

Another somewhat awkward pause ensued, in which neither side turned back to what they had done before, until a thought hit Tali. "How long until the repair crews are supposed to start here?" she asked.

"Ah, in a little less than two standard hours," Garrus answered, "Why?"

"Well, if Engineering is so overworked, I might as well give you a hand there," Tali explained. "Do the easier repairs at least. I think I've rested enough, anyway. Just let me catch my tools kit."

"Uh, right," Garrus agreed, apparently surprised by the suggestion. "Well, why not?"

000000

"Does this hellhole of a cluster have any worlds that aren't so damn inhospitable?" Chief Williams asked, from the seat behind Shepard. The Commander had to agree: Therum did not show any landscape variations besides rocks, lava, and dust. As the Mako continued to drive forwards, there were only more rocks, all wrapped up in a barely breathable atmosphere. Even Proteus had been friendlier.

Still, they might have saved a lot of time had they come to here first, which would have been a possibility, too, as the planet served as an industrial and mining outpost for the Alliance. And not only did it contain several newly found prothean ruins, it also was crawling with geth. They definitely had an interest here. It seemed more and more likely they would find T'Soni here, which was fortunate on one hand, but annoying on the other hand, as they could have shortened the mission considerably. But that was spilt milk now.

They had encountered a geth ship in orbit, easily identified from the sensor readings by Tali, and that was what Shepard was worried about most at the moment, more than any environmental conditions on the planet. He had deemed it impossible to operate on the surface with an enemy warship in orbit, as unlike the _Normandy_ the Mako had no stealth, and would hence have been open to everything up to and including orbital bombardment. Thus, the _Normandy _had started attack runs from safe distances, under the cover of her stealth capabilities. Owing to Newton's First Law of Motion, that objects in a constant velocity remain in that constant velocity unless acted upon by an outside force, there were no maximum firing ranges for the element zero accelerated mass the ship used as ammunition, and hence no need to close in to dangerous proximities

However, the farther the firing distance, the easier it was for the enemy to evade. The first barrage had done hardly any damage to the geth, and after the second barrage they had simply fled, unable to act against the _Normandy _or even only detect it. However, that meant they were still somewhere out there, and they had definitely left their ground troops behind – and in ground combat there would be no safe attacks from afar under stealth In fact, that was how Navigator Pressley had identified a good spot for the Mako to land on: According to the sensor readings, the geth showed a remarkable interest in some small mining station, and that meant that it was potentially of interest for Shepard as well.

"Fun place to fight," Wrex answered to Williams. He occupied the sole seat in the last row, which was best suited to hold his massive figure. The Mako had a capacity of five, but Shepard had reserved one seat for T'Soni, and then bringing along his two best fighters, and his best tech specialist, Tali.

He did not quite know yet what to make of Wrex, though. He thought he had a good estimation of everybody else's character among his 'entourage' and among the _Normandy's _ground team, but the krogan was an enigma. Wrex rarely spoke, and when he did usually showed no emotions or attitudes at all. He seemed to be completely unmoved by whatever went on around him, which of course was extremely useful on the battlefield, but made team work with him rather difficult at times, as one could simply not predict what he would do or say in any given situation. Besides, of course, the usual stereotypes about krogan.

Williams apparently either relied on them as well, or the time she was forced to be in the general vicinity of Wrex in the cargo bay had given her a better picture of him. In any case she replied: "Isn't any place with fights a good place to fight for you? Or do you prefer additional enviro-dangers?"

"Yes," Wrex simply replied, and then remained silent causing Williams to exhale an annoyed 'harrumph' sound and Shepard to slightly shake his head.

"Right, everybody ready, we'll be at the mining outpost soon," the Commander announced. The 'road' they had so far travelled was only defined as such by being the only narrow band passable (and even then only by robust vehicles like the Mako) between pits of lava and steep rocks. his path would almost definitely take them straight to the enemy. After all, there was nothing else here that could lead to the outpost. _Of course, on the negative side that means..._

"We're quite an open target here, aren't we?" Tali commented, sitting in the seat next to Shepard.

"Armoured vehicles are generally not good at hiding," Williams answered, "but we also don't have much manoeuvring space for mobility. I'd call that an open target."

"Okay, keep it down now," Shepard nterjected as the Mako crossed a rock 'bridge' between lava pits, and was now driving uphill, "the geth should be right ahead now, and... ah, goddamn!"

The geth proved indeed to be right ahead. Just as the Mako had taken a steep slope, it came under enemy fire from geth turrets, arrayed in a defence position at the road's entrance to the outpost.

"You two just had to just jinx it." Shepard complained while driving backwards.

"They have height and cover on their side," Williams commented. "And numbers. No way we are going to get past them."

"Yeah, we'll see," the Commander answered after just having brought the Mako was outside the enemy firing arc, and breathed out. "Right," he continued after a while. "They don't seem to have pursued us. They'll probably hole up there, afraid after their ship has left them. Damn, that makes it tempting, but I guess we still don't want orbital support. If the geth are there because they hold Dr T'Soni... yeah, bad idea."

"Yeah, asari are squishy," Wrex commented. "Competent, but squishy. We'll have to fight our way through. More fun that way, at least."

"And it's not exactly news," Williams said. "It's always been us ground pounders who have to do the hard work, so on ships it's always the marines detachment, uh, no offence, sir. It's just that sometimes I do wonder why we have all those nice ships when they never prove to be of any use on ground missions."

"I doubt a freighter would have scared the geth ship away," Tali commented dryly.

"Whatever," Williams replied. "That's not helping us now. We need to find a way into the target area. And best one the geth haven't barricaded."

"Even the Mako can't climb those rocks," Shepard said. "People can though, maybe at some points... Chief Williams, Wrex, dismount and scout the area. Tali will stay here; you never know when her repair talents might come in handy. Don't get engaged in fights, fall back to the Mako if necessary. And stick together"

"Aye-aye, Sir," Williams replied and followed Wrex outside. The krogan had left without giving any reply.

After a while, Tali spoke up: "I just hope they don't kill each other out there. Both of them seem so aggressive."

"I know what you mean," Shepard said, slightly amused, "but Williams is a fine soldier, she knows when and how to keep up discipline. As for Wrex – he's come around; he has enough experience to know the same." After a while of silence, with no report coming in from the scouts, he continued: "So, ready for your, well, second battle with the geth?"

"Absolutely," Tali answered, and Shepard imagined her grinning beneath the mask. The tone of the answer certainly made it sound so. "Having the chance to hit them is something I quite appreciate. I wouldn't have it had I not joined your crew... or had you not let me join, so thanks again."

Shepard laughed, a reaction of sheer surprise. "Come now, Tali, by now you've really earned it. If you keep up like you have so far then in the end I won't be able to thank _you_ enough."

Saying that, the Commander realised he had been very generous in his positive feedback to Tali in general, and not just now. Part of it was certainly that she so often questioned herself in their conversations; apparently she was ironically self-certain whenever she actually did something, bordering at times even on hubris, like her first fight against the geth. However, she could completely lose that as soon as she actually reflected on it. Not always, of course, she had for example quite calmly presented her exploits to Ambassador Udina, Captain Anderson and himself back on the Citadel, after all, but it happened often enough. However, it was more than just that. Her Pilgrimage odyssey so far, the way she _could_ hold herself up against other, and how calmly she carried herself in battle marked her as an outstanding person, and he liked to acknowledge that. He was simply glad to have such talent on the team, and if he could encourage said talent, why not?

"Commander?" Williams' voice came out of the comm unit before Tali could reply.

"I hear you, Chief," Shepard answered.

"I think we have found a fork in the path before us" Williams explained. "Some smaller path cuts through the rocks on the right side, and if our map is accurate it shouldn't be possible for it to go anywhere else but the outpost."

"Glad to hear that," Shepard commented.

"Yeah, it isn't only rosy news, let me finish, sir," Williams said, "That fork is actually in firing range of the enemy. That's why we... well, why I don't advance further. Wrex is another matter, though even doesn't seem inclined to try to take on those turrets head-on without backup . Some comfort in that at least, I guess."

"He isn't doing anything dangerous, is he?" Shepard asked.

"Not at the moment, but he's definitely taking more risks than I would," Williams replied. "And that's saying something, might be for the best, though. He's found quite a nice spot from where he could signal you the fork's location."

"Right," Shepard answered, "sounds like a plan. Tell him so, and then cover him. You two rejoin us afterwards."

"Aye-aye, sir," Williams confirmed.

Shepard started the Mako again, mentally prepared for the worst, but optimistic nonetheless. As Williams had predicted, they came under enemy fire before they could see any signal from Wrex. Several missiles hit and weakened the kinetic shields of the Mako, but the barriers held – and then they saw Wrex signal: In true krogan fashion an explosion, probably from a grenade, pointed out where the smaller path forked away from the larger. The mercenary's timing was perfect: The explosion cleared just in time for Shepard to enter the smaller path, escaping the enemy fire.

"Wrex, Chief Williams, link up to the Mako again," Shepard ordered "Don't remount, though. We gotta be careful, the geth know we're here, so cover our flanks."

"Aye-aye, sir" came Williams' response, while Wrex just grunted through the communication system.

There were a few geth turrets stationed along the path, though they posed no great threat. The Mako continued driving forwards at walking speeds, Williams and Wrex on either side. Shepard constantly expected the geth to come attacking from every direction. Small as the path was, with rocks looming over it on both sides, it would have made a great location for an enemy attack. But apparently the synthetics had all holed up in the small settlement they had occupied – and which after a time became slowly visible.

"Okay, Wrex, Chief Williams," Shepard spoke up. "We're nearly there. Assume enemy numerical superiority. According to the data we have, the outpost's buildings are grouped around a central square; do not let yourself get drawn into it. Let them come, or if they don't, advance carefully. Stay close to the Mako, and if you're hit fall behind it. Apart from that, give them hell."

"Gladly, sir," Williams confirmed. "And hit'em hard with that cannon, will you?"

"Roger that," Shepard laughed.

The battle began as soon as the Mako positioned itself at the entrance to the settlement, , partly covered by some rock. Wrex and Williams advanced along the rock, using it for cover. The geth sniped from behind building corners and rooftops, not daring to enter open terrain. Both sides were properly dug in and bullets raged between the battle lines. Neither side was gaining the advantage; while the geth had superior numbers, their reluctance to enter open terrain didn't give them much of a numerical edge.

"How the hell are those geth so clever?" Shepard asked angrily. "They were nothing like that on Eden Prime!"

"With so many geth crammed into tight quarters the neural network is more compressed," Tali began, "making them..." She stopped when Shepard gave her a short, confused glance. "Ah," she continued, "I maybe should've given you the rundown on the geth. Later. Just assume the geth here are plenty intelligent."

"Great, just great," Shepard muttered.

They were able to whittle away some of the geth over time, but that only made the rest dig in deeper. Inside the Mako was relatively comfortable and secure, but Wrex and Williams had mass accelerated bullets flying around them like an angry swarm of hornets, forcing both to take cover behind a rock providing only fragile security. Every now and then, the Mako's cannon would thunder over their heads, on top of the main gun - that proved to be the most effective at dispatching the geth. Wrex and Williams' fire pinned single units down, and the cannon destroyed them. It was a painfully slow process. Nonetheless, Shepard was determined to not rush into the battle heads first as he had done fighting against the thresher maw. Or at least, that was the plan.

"Commander," Pressley's voice filtered through comm.

"Ah, kinda busy here, what is it?" Shepard answered through gritted teeth, firing the Mako's cannon.

"We know," Pressley said. "However, sensors picked up geth closing in on a mine behind the outpost. According to our records, the mine contains one of the prothean dig sites on the planet."

"So that means..." Shepard began.

"Unless they already hold Dr T'Soni, they might be an attempt to... retrieve her," Pressley stated. "So if ever there was a time for rushing in, this would be it."

"Understood," Shepard answered. "Ground team out." He turned towards Tali, asking: "Do you think you could handle the cannon of this thing?"

The question surprised her, Shepard was sure of it, but as she so often did, she tried to not let others notice it. "I don't know," she answered. "I'm certainly not trained to operate it, but I understand the mechanisms. And the interface is really simple. Point and click. Well, as you know. As long as you don't ask me to also drive this it should be possible."

"Then do so," Shepard answered. "The two out there might need some biotic support. Or well, more than Wrex can provide."

Tali nodded sharply, and Shepard left the Mako, jumping from its door to the ground where he immediately crouched. Bullets sped past him, hitting the Mako's shields. Running in a ducked position, he was nonetheless hit two times, but that was nothing the shields could not take care of.

"Glad to see you join us, sir," Williams said once Shepard ran up to her side. "The quarian's taking care of the cannon?"

"Yeah," Shepard just answered. He risked a short look over the rock and scoped the field, but was immediately forced back into cover by incoming enemy fire. "Too goddamn many," he spat out.

"That's how we know we're at the right place" Williams answered, before leaving her cover to take some shots at the enemy.

Shepard's next attempt against the enemy, using biotics, proved less successful as he had hoped for. Targeting a geth unit behind a building corner, he used a biotic punch to throw it away, intending to keep the geth at a distance to compensate for their numerical superiority. However, the Commander did not manage a very powerful throw.

"Always knew I should've trained that more," he muttered, while employing his pistol now instead. Wrex laughed at that, using an own biotic throw against an enemy – not to a much better effect.

The Mako's cannon thundered behind them as Shepard once again began a barrage of pistol shots and warps, bullets occassionally hitting him in the process.. Wrex and Williams soon did likewise, leaning out of cover to fire at the enemy, while Shepard sat behind the rock, waiting for his pistol to cool down and for his biotic powers to recharge.

"By the rate this is going..." Williams began, but did not get to finish. A bullet pierced her faltering shields and hit her at the shoulder. The Gunnery Chief immediately let herself drop to the ground, holding the wounded body part. "Shit!" she blurted out.

"Fall back behind the Mako," Shepard ordered, "you're no good without shields."

"Aye, sir," Williams answered through gritted teeth, half walking and half crawling away under the cover of further cannon fire.

"This won't help us cut down time," Wrex commented.

"Yeah," Shepard admitted, "but we need to concentrate on actually winning before we can think about speed."

Any hope of a quick battle soon vanished. The geth were slowly killed, one by one, but it was tedious. After a quick application of medigel and a fresh battery pack for her shields, Williams was able to rejoin the battle. Shepard returned to the Mako, allowing the team to advance under the cover of the armoured vehicle. The remaining geth were destroyed soon thereafter, and the crew carefully entered the settlement's square. Williams and Wrex remained outside the Mako, wary of hidden geth troops, covering all directions with their sidearms.

"I think we got them all, sir," Williams said after some time, quite unnecessarily.

The team's search efforts inside the outpost's building proved to be relatively fruitless. Leaving Tali behind to guard the Mako, Shepard took Wrex and Williams through the buildings one at a time, unwilling to further split up the team. However, all they found were a few remaining geth, some work equipment and metal scrap. Certainly no captive asari.

...

What Navigator Pressley had described it as a 'mine' turned out to be more of a natural cavern. Humans had made it accessible, with an entrance, metal stairs, platforms and functional elevators. All the equipment was human in origin, but the cavern was clearly not. It looked like it was already there before those newcomers on the galactic scene had arrived, and indeed it was dotted with millennia old remains of prothean technology.

And geth. The cavern also contained geth. It was abundantly clear the team had lost the race. After the battle at the mining outpost and searching the outpost's buildings, Shepard had tried to gain time by speeding up the Mako – according to the _Normandy, _the geth had moved at a speed equal to people walking on foot. However, this had not worked out, as the path eventually had gotten so rough that not even the Mako had been able to master it, and the team had been forced to advance on foot. Fortunately, they had arrived at the cavern not long after.

Unfortunately, it now appeared the geth already had arrived before them. At least so far they had not encountered any troop concentrations of them, but then they also had not come down far yet.

Stepping inside an elevator together with the rest of the team, Chief Williams asked: "Well, taking the route down seems like a logical choice, but then what? If that cavern is such a big place what if the way splits or something?"

Shepard thought for a moment and then shrugged. "We go wherever the most geth are. No, seriously," he added upon seeing Williams' face, which expressed great doubts about that plan and maybe even the Commander's intelligence. "We would have all the time in the world to search this place if it were not for the geth, right? So our first priority is preempting the geth. And if there are several of them concentrated in one area, they probably think that particular spot is promising. So we go to wherever there are several of them."

"I've never heard such an eloquent reason for charging into enemy superior numbers," Williams muttered in response "Uh, sir."

"It'd be suicidal to split up the team given their numbers," Tali remarked, "Besides, it gives us the chance to destroy some more geth."

"Good to see someone here with the right attitude," Wrex commented just as the elevator reached its bottom. "Shooting scrap metal is not as satisfying as normal battles, but it'll do"

"If that's our logic, why don't we let the geth do the work for us?" Williams asked. "Just wait at the exit until they arrive with the asari in tow."

"And you know all exits of this complex, of course, Chief?" Shepard replied with a smile.

"Right, right," Williams answered, "I get it, I'm – watch it! Drones!"

The drones were easily dispatched, giving even more credence to the idea that the geth had spread themselves thin. Following Shepard's plan, the team went towards where the drones had come from, which led them even further downwards. No matter how far down they went, though, there always seemed to be a prothean-built 'chamber' in the most distant cavern wall. The chambers that appeared to form a sort of 'tower'. All of them were sealed off by what appeared to be a blue-ish energy field. It contrasted harshly against the rough cavern walls and provisional looking human constructs inside the cavern. Shepard had no idea what they were supposed to be, but as long as they posed no danger, he didn't worry about it.

"The protheans built to last," Williams commented after a while, "looks like a lava flow poured in here."

"The caverns do look like they formed around the ruin," Tali agreed. "After it was built, and yet parts of it still stand."

Shepard's attempt to reply was cut short by the appearance of two more geth troopers. They were easily defeated.

"Makes you wonder," he said afterwards. "whether some distant civilisation will dig up our artefacts some day and study us."

"No, sir," Williams replied decisively "When some distant civilisation finds our artefacts we will be right there to explain them."

"Hah, I hope so, Chief," Shepard answered, "But somehow I think the protheans may have thought the same thing."

"Sometimes a race's doom can come surprisingly quick, even though you never expected it," Tali commented.

"And sometimes, the cause of decay is already within a race from the start, and you never even notice it," Wrex added.

"Geez," Williams exclaimed, "what a jovial bunch we are."

_Of course, Tali and Wrex have reasons to be cynics about that topic, _Shepard thought, but did not voice it. Both the quarians and krogan were decaying races. The krogan were still plentiful enough in numbers, but their reproduction rates, cut down by the genophage virus, did not match their death rates. Most krogan chose violent jobs, due to their combat glorifying culture or due to fatalism about the plague, viewing their race already as doomed. And so they were headed towards slow extinction. The quarians on the other hand had stabilised their numbers, but at a most tiny fraction of what it had been. Seventeen million quarians, crammed together on ancient ships, with no homeworld. Both races were shunned everywhere by others. Those were pretty good reasons to be cynical about one's civilisation's future; it was even depressing for an outsider like him to think about it. Especially considering that instead of helping them, the other races seemed to deliberately keep them stamped down – a cure to the genophage was seen as generally undesirable by most galactic governments, while the quarians were actively and often violently denied a homeworld of their own by the Council. _It's a messed up galaxy._

Appropriately, the team's descent was done in silence – no more attempts at team communication and no more or less witty comments. The cavern went down deep, and Shepard was grateful for the gangways and stairs which made further progress downwards possible – and thankful that the geth had not destroyed them after their own passage. Cave climbing would have been absolutely impossible, especially since they lacked the necessary equipment. The path did split up a few times, but each time the team simply followed the Commander's strategy to go where they either knew or suspected were more geth. Of course, Shepard wasn't exactly sure about the strategy himself. It was logical, of course, but far from failproof. Still, it was the best way to orientate oneself in the cave system at all. _Spectre service seems to lead one to the oddest places. _

The further the team went downwards, the closer they came to the main prothean remain in the cavern, the multi-layer tower of various energy field sealed chambers. As that tower always seemed to have one chamber after another, no matter how deep they had come, Shepard simply had come to ignore them. Their path downwards had led them towards the ruins and away from them again, but when they reappeared right next to them, using a broken, downwards bent stairway to continue their descent, Shepard was surprised to hear a voice calling out from the chamber they'd just landed next to.

An uncomfortably loud voice: "Hello? Is somebody out there? Can you help me? I'm trapped in here!"

Shepard turned towards the chamber to see an asari in working clothes behind its energy curtain, hanging in a energy ball of sorts. _I __wish__ I had taken more technology classes then maybe I would actually know what those things are. _"Quit shouting!" he called in a hushed voice to the asari, "the place is crawling with geth!"

"Sorry," the asari replied, her voice only a little quieter, but at least indeed quieter, "I'm a little... look; my name is Dr Liara T'Soni. I am an archaeologist."

"We know who you are, Dr T'Soni," Shepard answered, "We came to here to find you. Are you okay? What happened to you?"

"To... find me?" T'Soni asked. "Why would you... well, the geth seemed to have the same goal. Can you believe that? Geth here, so far out the Veil?"

Shepard suppressed both a grin and a groan at that. _Why yes, I can believe that all right. _"We will have all the time in the galaxy to explain everything to you, Doctor," he replied, "once we've reached the safety of my ship. Any idea how we can get you out of... wherever you are in?"

"It's a prothean security device," the asari doctor explained. "I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it, all right?"

"Any idea how?" the Commander asked.

"I triggered it when I turned on the barrier curtains," T'Soni said. "There is a control here that should deactivate the device, but I am trapped, so I cannot reach it! You must get me out, please!"

"All right, all right," Shepard said, "calm down! And keep quiet! Any idea then how to get past that... 'barrier curtain'?"

"That's the tricky part," T'Soni explained, "the defences cannot be shut off from the outside. The geth have tried different ways to get past the barrier, all without success. They have a krogan with them, too, which I would not like to face without the energy field in between us, so there are also good aspects to that, I guess."

"S you have no idea how we could get into your cosy little chamber?" Shepard summarised.

"Chamber? It's not exactly... ah, I mean, you are correct," T'Soni admitted, "Sorry."

"We figure out a way," Shepard reassured her, and began to take a closer look at the 'barrier curtain' and its surroundings. Of course, that promise was easier made than fulfilled. The barrier curtain could as well have been solid steel, from the way it reacted to anything from knocking on it to gunfire. The wall around it was a prothean built brick wall and just as sturdy. The Mako could have blasted its way through it, maybe, and ship cannons could have for sure, but not hand weapons.

"So... what now?" Shepard asked after a while, somewhat exhausted.

Williams was looking at him, facing the barrier curtain, and pointed back over her shoulder. "It seems we've finally reached this holes bottom, sir, or near enough" she explained. "We pretty much have explored everything above us already, so really the only thing left to do is hope for something down there."

Shepard shrugged. "Sound and pragmatical thinking, Chief," he said. "You are right, anything is better than nothing." He turned towards T'Soni: "We're going to check out the base. Call us if geth come your way, but keep quiet otherwise!" When she nodded in affirmation, he turned to walk the last few meters downwards, followed by the rest of his team.

No gangways had been constructed at the bottom of the cavern; it was natural, uneven, rocky ground. And filled with technical debris from all the levels above it, or so it seemed. Random tools and pieces of electronics lay scattered across it, as did some pieces of scrap metal. If in fifty thousand years another civilisation were opening up digs sites to learn more about humans, this surely would have been quite a find. But for his own purposes Shepard saw nothing useful at first. The only interesting thing down here were some more geth, but they were easily defeated. Still, it made the Commander even more pessimistic.

"The geth seemed to have looked here for ways to get past the barrier, too," he said, watching a downed unit "Without success."

"That's not saying much," Tali responded, wandering around looking at the stuff on the ground "with so few geth down here I don't think they'd be able to figure out, well, anything at all."

"That again," Shepard said, turning towards the quarian. "Fewer geth mean less intelligent geth?"

"Basically, yes," Tali answered, looking shortly up before continuing her undirected search "but I can explain this to you in full back on the _Normandy_."

"Right, of course," Shepard admitted, "this is neither the time nor the place for it. But it means we might find a solution here the geth overlooked?"

"Here or in the dozen or so levels above us," Tali said, apparently distracted by a find.

"Going up and down those levels in the small hopes to finding anything at all does not sound like a fun exercise to me," Williams complained. "Or constructive for that matter."

"It might not be necessary" Tali answered, "Take a look at this here, seems to be an old mining laser. I'm sure I could still get two or three discharges out of it."

"And?" Williams asked in a long drawn voice.

"And if you take a look at the wall where all the prothean chambers are, you'll notice that there is none on this level," Tali replied, somewhat tersely.

"You want to open up the chamber from beneath it?" Shepard asked, surprised.

"Why not?" Tali answered. "That laser has more power than any of our hand weapons, and the natural stone is surely easier to cut through than the prothean built walls. It's a possibility."

"And once inside?" Williams asked "You want us to climb up the walls like spiders?"

"If necessary," Tali replied. "I'm sure we can get some ropes here for that purpose."

"Getting my mass upwards in ropes will be fun," Wrex commented in a deadpan voice, but before Tali could reply he grunted in a way that could also have been a laugh and added: "But I like your spirit."

"As I said, anything is better than doing nothing" Shepard commented. "So, see if you can get that laser running, Tali."

"I suppose nobody here is a geology expert?" Tali asked without much hope. When unsurprisingly no reply came she continued: "So we have to base our aiming on good luck."

"This gets just better and better," Williams muttered.

It took Tali relatively little time to get the laser running again. She was unsure about where to aim it, basing her aim barely on guts and vague estimations on how how far down the prothean structure actually went. In the end, she aimed the laser a little lower than the assumed middle of the wall in front of them, and hoped for the best. "Laser is ready," she announced.

"Fire!" Shepard ordered, and Tali obeyed.

Dust immediately erupted from the hit wall, pouring forth in every direction, obscuring everyone's vision. Only the laser itself provided some minimal light. It continued to hit the wall, disintegrate it with an ear numbing sound. Shepard crouched down for cover behind the laser device, fearing any enemy might exploit the situation. However, when the dust finally settled no attack had occurred. The laser had cleared a hole in the rock, opening a way to one of the prothean chambers. This one was not sealed by a curtain barrier.

"Great work!" Shepard exclaimed, and began to walk towards said chamber, followed by the others. "Hm, we still need to find a way to go upwards," he said while entering the laser-created hole.

"The ceiling still stands," Williams pointed out, "so do we use the laser again?"

"That or the elevator there," Wrex pointed out, again in a deadpan voice, inducing a short laughter in Shepard: Indeed there was an elevator platform at the back of the room as he could now see.

"Well, does it even still work?" he asked.

"T'Soni's security device still had energy, and so should that thing." Tali answered and stepped onto it. When she touched what appeared to be a control unit a green shimmering holographic interface popped up. "Well, that settles that question then," the quarian announced. "And that interface looks intuitive enough"

"I take that as an 'everybody aboard!'" Shepard joked and walked onto the elevator, followed by Wrex and Williams.

"Not bad," Williams commented once the elevator went upwards, "Not bad at all." For once, there was a real sense of impression and praise in her voice.

And Shepard, too, of course could not avoid being amazed by Tali again. _God knows how long we would have fumbled around here without her, _he thought _if in fact we ever had found a solution._

The elevator stopped at T'Soni's level, though Shepard could not see if that was per default or also Tali's achievement. In any case, the way to the asari archaeologist was now undoubtedly completely clear. Despite the team being in her back, she noticed their approach early enough, asking: "How... how did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier."

"We blasted our way through with a mining laser," Shepard explained, "Now, how can we release you?"

"A mining laser? Yes, of course, that makes sense," T'Soni replied. "And, ah, that button over there should shut down the containment field."

Shepard nodded and waved at his team mates to keep watch over T'Soni. It still wasn't clear whose side she was on, after all. While it was not overt, Williams and Wrex turned in a way that would easily and quickly position the asari in the crossfire of their guns. Content with that, Shepard turned towards the prothean device T'Soni had spoken of. He could indeed only see one button. Pressing it, however, only brought up a holographic interface diagram and, unlike Tali, the Commander did not find it 'intuitive' at all. Relying on the assumption that T'Soni knew what she was talking about, he simply touched the interface at some point – and heard a dull thud behind him, as the asari fell to the ground, freed from her energy field prison.

She got on her feet quick enough, and Shepard turned to her, asking: "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she responded, "but we need to get out of here before more geth arrive. There's an elevator in the back..."

"Yeah," the Commander interrupted her, waving her to go "that's how we got here. Let's move then."

Even now, as the team began to move again, it took care to have T'Soni in the middle, blocking any potential escape routes of her and taking her into the potential crossfire of their weapons.

"I – I still cannot believe all that," T'Soni said while stepping onto the elevator, followed by Wrex and Williams, "why would the geth come after me? Do you think Benezia is involved?"

Williams started to form an answer, but Shepard raised his hand to quieten her. "Yes, she is." he answered, "But as said, there's time for explanations aboard my ship. Now move."

"Oh, of course!" T'Soni exclaimed, "I didn't mean to..."

The rest of her sentence was drowned by large rumbling that went throughout the cave.

"What was that?" Williams asked, sounding more annoyed and terse than curious.

"These ruins are not stable," T'Soni explained while looking around, probably afraid of falling rocks and the like, "That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry. The whole place is caving in."

She walked towards the holographic elevator control. Tali at first tried to block her way, but a short head shake by Shepard signalled her to make way for the asari. _Unlikely that at the moment she has any ulterior motive besides getting the elevator up and generally getting the hell out of this collapsing hole. _

While the T'Soni used the interface and the elevator was set in motion, Shepard used the intercom to call the _Normandy_. As part of the human mining efforts in these caverns there was a ship dock at the very top, a weird construction reaching out from the rock, looming over the cavern entrance, which of course made for an ideal evacuation point. Joker set an estimated time of arrival of eight minutes, but Shepard was not quite sure if that was quick enough. However, even Joker and the _Normandy_ could only go so fast.

The elevator reached the top fairly quickly – only to greet them with an unpleasant surprise: At the edge of the top level stood a huge, yellow-skinned krogan, surrounded by geth. Instinctively, Shepard grabbed T'Soni and put her behind himself. She was the military objective of their mission. He shouted to everybody to take cover – except there was none. They were on an open, circular elevator platform, with nothing that could provide them with any sort of protection.

"Don't run," the krogan said, "you would spoil all the fun. If you do that, at least surrender."

_No way out of here_ Shepard thought feverishly, looking around him. He and his team had no cover, and the enemy had their weapons pointed at them. The only thing they had going for them was the enemy's over-confidence.

"What do you want?" he asked the krogan.

"The asari doctor," the mercenary answered. "Thanks for getting her out of those energy fields for us." Shepard made held his right hand behind his back, trying as best as he could to perform the navy hand signal for 'attack on my sign' one handed and covered, hoping to heaven and hell Williams would see it and understand, and that the others would then follow suit. "Now turn over..." the krogan continued, but was cut off when Shepard sharply pointed at the geth at his right side, and fire from three different weapons took it down.

Shepard was pleasantly surprised that Wrex, too, apparently understood Alliance military hand signs, and even his crippled version of them, too. "Now concentrate on the krogan," he shouted. He had absolutely no desire to let such a combat monster run around unchecked.

Of course the krogan ran towards him anyway. Shepard backed away and raised a biotic barrier around him, but it appeared that shooting the Commander was not on his mind – he charged top speed at Shepard and tried to enter close combat, visibly enraged by the surprise attack pulled on him. The Spectre blasted his shotgun several times at the krogan, but the enemy shields and armour held fast. He soon found himself face to face with a giant, angry monster, growling and gritting teeth. At that moment the enemy appeared like an unstoppable force of nature in full rage – he surely could not stop it.

He was thrown back by a savage blow to his chest, and made an ungraceful fall onto his backside. Even in that position he further pumped shotgun accelerated mass into the krogan, but without any apparent effect – the mercenary only came further charging to him, now nearly looming above him. Shepard, still not fully standing, rolled away sidewards, but when he had a clear look on the battlefield again, the krogan himself was off his feet. Shortly looking around, the Commander saw both Wrex and T'Soni glowing blue – a double biotic punch had knocked over the enemy krogan. His chest pulsated with pain as Shepard got to his feet again, but he ignored it, instead again taking aim at the enemy mercenary. He was soon joined by Tali, while the rest of the team seemed now fully occupied by the geth, and two shotguns blasted at the krogan – until he finally keeled over.

"Good job!" Shepard shouted, now trying to focus on the geth. However, he instead noticed how Wrex turned around alarmed.

"Wait! He regenerates!" Wrex shouted, and fired a shot to a target behind him.

The enemy krogan was slowly rising again, clutching his weapon. Before Shepard could shout any warning at his own, and before Tali, who stood way nearer to the enemy than Shepard, could turn around again to face him, a shot had left his weapon hitting the quarian at short distance. And then another one. The krogan soon afterwards died for good under a hail of gunfire, but Tali seemed to have been hard hit, holding her side, half-downed, shields down..

"Goddamnit!" Shepard cursed. Anger wailed up in him, which he channelled into a biotic warp against the nearest geth. The remaining synthetics were attempting to cover themselves as best as they could, but were shot down by Shepard's team. With his own chest throbbing like hell, he ran towards Tali, who slowly came to her feet again. "You okay?" he shouted.

"Think so," Tali responded, though it came in almost hissed voice. Her omnitool glowed, and Shepard suspected she was applying medi-gel on hersef. "As long as no more geth come"

"Right," Shepard answered and looked around. All geth seemed to have been processed to scrap electronics. He took the time to also use use some medi-gel, but it had only a limited effect – it was an emergency measure, not a cure for everything.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" he commanded.

He tried to help Tali walk along, but he soon noticed he had enough trouble moving only himself forwards. Wrex passed him by and took over supporting Tali; while he did not look particularly gentle in doing so, he was very effective. Williams made sure T'Soni hurried, so all that was left to do for Shepard was to take care of himself, to run as fast as his chest allowed. At minimum there were several large-scale bruises, though he suspected some fractures – however, he could still walk, and that was the only thing that mattered right now.

The elevator had transported the team, unsurprisingly enough, to the topmost prothean "chamber". While it was still sealed off by a curtain barrier, too, that energy field collapsed after more seismic movements. While the way was clear now, the quake began in earnest: Walls shook, ceilings collapsed, and stones fell down all around them. They rushed as best as they could, straining themselves in the process, narrowly avoiding the falling rocks and other dangers. Shepard was quite frankly not sure whether they would make it out of the cavern alive. His breathing turned hard and ragged and he felt dizzy and light-headed. He wanted to say something, but he did not have the breath for it any more. He barely had enough breath to move himself.

Chief Williams shouted orders in his place.

"Move! Move! Move!" she shouted, like a stereotypical drill instructor. Shepard did not have the energy for smiling any more, but he felt like it. It was Williams now who took care of them getting all out, of the stragglers' pace, of motivating them. She seemed to be at front, in centre and back of the group all at the same time now.

And finally, finally they reached the ramp that led outwards, towards the ship dock. While the entire cavern seemed to collapse behind them, they were now surrounded by human-built steel. They reached the exit – and in front of them, waiting for them, was the _Normandy_, prepared and ready for take-off. It was one of the most beautiful sights Shepard had seen in his entire life.

000000

**Sorry for the long time it took for this update. I completely wrote myself against the wall at one point. But now it's here, and the next chapter is also already with the beta readers. On that note, my deepest thanks to quantumparadigm and sergiusthegreat for having taken over that job. That chapter would have been a lot poorer and at times more awkward without them. **

**Oh, and as said earlier, do assume any divergences from canon are deliberate.**


	6. Ch6: After Therum

Tali's awakening came slowly and awfully. Her head hurt, she felt dizzy, and breathing was more difficult than normal. Her suit adjusted automatically to some of these symptoms, for example raising the oxygen content of the air inside her mask, but it was clear to her that this was the beginning of a disease. Yet another one – they were a constant fact of life for quarians, after all. Still, it was annoying.

At least there was no disorientation. She knew exactly where she was – the sickbay of the _Normandy_, in one of its three beds. Like most rooms on warships, it was rather small and crammed. The beds inside the longdrawn room had their head end on one of the sides, while Dr Chakwas desk was opposite them. Medical electronic equipment was standing around Tali' bed, and Shepard sat on the bed to the right of her, facing away from her. Next to him stood Dr Chakwas, who was involved in a conversation with him, and thus neither she nor he noticed her. Tali also knew what had happened – after the hazardous evacuation of the ground team by the _Normandy_, Williams, who practically had taken over command for the moment being, had taken her and Shepard to the sickbay. Or rather, the Chief had Wrex almost carry them – bruised and injured as both had been, and after the long exhausting run to get outside the collapsing cavern, both had been in a bad state, near collapse themselves.

Dr Chakwas had immediately begun to prepare operations on both of them. Giving the Commander the higher priority, she had simply anaesthetised Tali, explaining that any medical activities on her would be made so much more difficult by her heightened sterility requirements, but assuring that nonetheless those requirements would be kept. Tali did not exactly knew much of medical electronics, but she guessed that some of the devices now standing around her bed must have served just that purpose. Apparently, the operations on both her and Shepard had been a success. Relatively speaking, in her case anyway – no quarian these days could come around a suit breach without at least a minor infection.

Waiting for a lull in the conversation between Chakwas and Shepard, she made herself noticed by saying: "So, how am I, exactly?"

The two immediately turned towards her, both a bit startled. Shepard was the first to speak, saying: "Oh, hey, Tali, finally awake, too, huh?"

"Figuring the right amount of anaesthetics out was a bit difficult," Dr Chakwas explained, "I'm not used to quarian physiology, so I was not quite sure when you would wake up. As for your question, the operation was a success. Good thing you already had medigel applied on your wound, I had to do little more than set some bones straight and induce medical organ regeneration. In fact, your body still is regenerating, and will need most of its energy for that purpose for at least the next two days. So no hard work, you will be exhausted enough anyway. But it will be a hundred percent recovery, and you can walk around already. As for side-effects like infections, I'm sure you know more about that than me."

Chakwas sounded a bit jaded and perpetually unintersted during her explanations, but to Tali that signaled a reassuring experience and competence. That she was not emotional in her explanations made them comfortably professional and rational. Of course her diagnosis helped to make the quarian feel better, too.

_And thank the ancestors for medigel indeed. _That was one thing that had radically changed only shortly after the arrival of humans on the galactic scene – their invention of medigel. Technically a violation of Citadel laws on genetic engineering, everybody saw past that simply because the product was so very useful. No matter what your species or physiology, medigel helped your body to regenerate in a mere hours, or even quicker. It couldn't completely replace medical professionals or facilities, of course, as her own and Shepard's injuries had shown, but it could make things very much better. In general, most medical care these days, across species, rested on the same principle of ultrafast regeneration, leaving most injuries healed within very few days. _Good thing, too, if we are now immediately setting out for Feros as Shepard had planned. _

"I'm already feeling symptoms of an illness," she replied, "but with immuno-boosters it's nothing I can't handle. I hope the results for you have been similarly encouraging, Commander Shepard? And what about Dr T'Soni?"

Shepard just shrugged and Chakwas took over answering for him: "Yes, I suppose I might as well explain everything twice, not only your status. Yes, Commander Shepard is fine. He only woke up about ten minutes ago, too. Basically same story as with you, his body has successfully responded to regeneration efforts. Dr T'Soni has no physical injuries at all. She arrived in a rather bad state of exhaustion, dehydration and undernourishment, but that was quickly fixed."

"Good thing you woke up now, actually," Shepard added. "I called a meeting of the ground team and the ship officers in the conference, in ten minutes. We will have to decide there what happens with Dr T'Soni. You should be there, too."

"Ah, understood," Tali replied, though she could not keep herself from adding the question: "And if I had not woken up in time?"

Shepard shrugged again. "It'll only be an informal meeting," he said, "if somebody misses it it won't be too bad. But it's more complete that way." He grinned. "Heh, that's one advantage you have with your suit and all, isn't it? I don't need to tell you to get dressed." He already was. "Well then, Doctor Chakwas, you think she and I can move already?"

"As long as you don't intend to run a marathon," the physician answered. "Which would probably hurt like hell for you anyway. If you want you two can get up immediately and leave the sickbay."

"Well, thanks for having looked out for us, Doctor Chakwas," Shepard said, got up, and motioned Tali to come, too, something the quarian quickly did.

The two walked out of the sickbay, and to her positive surprise Tali noticed no further pains where her wound had been, only a certain exhaustion and of course the symptoms of her disease. She saw T'Soni sitting in the mess, accompanied by two marines. Even though they were sitting, too, it was very obvious that they were keeping a watch on her.

Asari were the most common race in Citadel space, both most numerous and most widespread, living even in the colonies and settlements of other species. Their presence was practically normal everywhere. Of course, the Flotilla was an obvious exception to that, and so only some months ago, Tali had not seen a single one of them, or any non-quarian for that matter. She had heard the tales, though. About their long lives, their diplomacy, the curiosity and boldness of the younger asari and the wisdom of the elder asari. And about their really strange love lives, forming relationships with all other races. That more than anything else. Since apparently they could form sexual connections via merely neural contact that meant they could, theoretically, even reach quarians in their suits – stuff for legends and fables among adolescent quarians in the time leading up to their pilgrimages.

Of course, most those stories were most probably just wishful thinking. Most asari were attractive enough, and their similarity to quarians was a biologically very strange thing, too – while maybe not all their bones were set the exact same way, and while they were blue or purple skinned, their gait, their movements, their stature was practically completely quarian. And the asari maiden it was said were often not inclined against choosing partners based purely on exoticism. Seeing how few quarians there were left in the galaxy that was something Tali's race surely possessed for most people.

Still, even asari were not above having the usual prejudices against quarians, and the quarian pilgrims on their part really had better things to do than to get involved in amorous adventures. Or at least Tali did, enough to spur all pilgrimage romanticism. And it was just that: All the tales of attractive and seductive asari was simply part of the myths and legends that had sprung up around the pilgrimage over the centuries, and nothing more. Or at least not for the vast majority of pilgrims.

T'Soni did not fit into that stereotype at all, at least not based on her looks. Tali had not had time during her travels to meet many asari, but of those she had met or seen quite many did have a certain aura of grace and elegance – but Dr T'Soni rather less so. Her movements and gestures were not as refined, and with her plain working clothes she looked rather utilitarian.

Tali distrusted her. She knew the Doctor was an individual unto herself, and that of all races most especially the asari placed great stress of individuality, but nonetheless it was clear her mother was one of Saren's allies – and the quarians on their part placed great stress on ancestry. She pondered what she would do if her father were to start committing atrocities. As distant as their relationship had always been, it was not a pleasant thought. If she ever would hear such news...

Which reminded her that maybe Dr T'Soni did not not even know those news yet. Maybe the asari was in for quite a nasty shock, which made Tali almost feel sorry for her. Besides, Tali knew what it was like to be constantly judged not for one's own merits, but because of who one's father was. Or mother, in the asari's case. Still, distrusting her for now was probably still the most sensible and secure attitude to take. Of course, in the end it was Commander Shepard's decision what to do with her.

The Commander and she had already approached the archaeologist to quite some degree, before T'Soni finally noticed them. By her unsteady small gestures she had probably been lost in nervous thought before.

"Commander!" T'Soni exclaimed, raising from her seat. Agitation clearly was audible in her voice, yet on a certain level it remained constantly monotone and sooth. "Am I your prisoner on this ship? Could you please explain to me what is happening here?"

"I am sorry, Dr T'Soni," Shepard replied firmly. "I only woke up in medbay about quarter an hour ago myself. Rest assured, all your questions will be answered."

"Oh...," T'Soni made. "Yes, of course, you were wounded. While saving me from the geth. I'm very sorry, sometimes I can be a bit inconsiderate. While I usually have enough patience to chisel at ruins for months, at the moment..."

"At the moment you have not the slightest clue what's going on, have just escaped an attempted kidnapping and finally want answers," Shepard continued for her. "That you seem to be under supervision here probably doesn't help, either. I understand all that, no worries. I'd probably react in the same manner, but with less patience and armed. There is a meeting in the conference room set for, well, right now, and there we can explain to each other everything we both need to know."

"That is good to hear, Commander," T'Soni answered, and walked away from the bench she had sat on. "I do not want to sound ungrateful, but for the exact reasons you have laid out I was becoming a bit unrestful."

On the way up to the command deck the group of three was joined by most other people who had been called on this short notice to the meeting. Chief Williams grinned as she saw the Commander approaching, and waited up for him.

"Good to see you standing again, sir," she said. "I must say that was quite a fight in the end. You aren't very big on this whole parley thing, are you?"

"Not if the enemy very obviously wants to kill us," Shepard said grimly "and it was not like we'd have surrender T'Soni to him anyway, so why bother listening to him?"

"Damn straight we wouldn't have, sir." Williams answered, now walking at the Commander's side "Though I'd never have pegged you as the 'shoot first, ask questions later' type of commanding officer."

"I'm somewhat curious to know what questions you would have had for that krogan," Shepard mocked. "In any case, I always do try to shoot first, if battle is unavoidable."

"Not quite the stereotype of the chivalrous hero, are you, sir?" Williams replied, as the group entered the conference room "And I'm damn glad you aren't."

With everybody streaming into it, the room filled rather quickly. Eight chairs were available, arranged in two semi-circles, meaning almost everybody got one: Commander Shepard, Navigator Presley, Engineer Adams, Lieutenant Alenko, Chief Williams, Garrus Vakarian, Dr T'Soni and Tali herself. Only Wrex remained standing, but then Tali pitied any chair that had to bear his weight, so that was maybe for the best.

"Everybody listening?" Shepard asked once they all were seated as a way to get the meeting going. "Good. Now, I realise this is all very short term, but Dr T'Soni deserves some answers. Ah, are you okay, by the way, Doctor?"

"Dr Chakwas assured me I have no injuries, and that with some rest I'll be fine," T'Soni answered, "All that I lack is answers."

"Okay, but we're the ones asking the questions here," Williams said.

"Relax, Chief Williams," Shepard said. "This isn't helping."

"Yes, sir," Williams confirmed. "Sorry, sir."

"She will answer our questions, but it would be too much demanded of her if she doesn't know why we went looking for her in the first place." Shepard explained. "So, Doctor T'Soni, there are two reasons we've been sent to this cluster to find you. Most directly... ah, I am sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news. But it appears your mother has become a traitor."

_He surely does not talk around much, _Tali thought. _Straight to the shocker._ And T'Soni looked shocked indeed. "My... mother? Benezia?" she asked. "What exactly has she done?"

"The presence of geth on Therum is not an isolated incident," Shepard explained, apparently putting as much calm and professional distance in his voice as he could, as a way of reassurance "Most glaringly, they've attacked and invaded the human colony of Eden Prime. The attack was repelled, though most enemy objectives were fulfilled. Likewise we assume our colony on Feros is also under geth attack."

"Feros?" T'Soni asked. "The Prothean city planet? And geth attacking on multiple fronts? This is extremely worrying news. It seems the galaxy has changed greatly in the mere months I was away digging up new ruins! But what has that to do with Benezia?"

"The geth were led by Saren Arterius, the turian Spectre," Shepard continued. "He's the initial traitor. We've secured proof of that – and also proof that your mother, Matriarch Benezia, has aided him in that attack."

"I've heard of Saren," T'Soni claimed, "I mean, many people have, due to his status as one of the most famous Spectres, but Benezia spoke of him. She described him as being on a very dark path towards destruction, so I'm shocked but not fully surprised he would do such a betrayal. However, this isn't true of Benezia – whatever our... that is, she and I haven't spoken for years, in fact the conversation about Saren was the last we had, as she and her followers embarked on some project afterwards. Still, she always had very strict and well thought out principles. She would never have joined such a betrayal!"

"I am sorry I had to tell you that," Shepard apologised. "You really have no idea about Benezia's motivations?

"No," T'Soni denied, "She may be my mother, but as I stated, I have not spoken to her in years."

"Right," Williams commented.

"What Chief Williams wants to say," Shepard explained with a half-smile, though it looked rather sad than amused "is that of course that's a very convenient claim for you. You'll hopefully understand that Lady Benezia's role also casts some suspicions on you."

"I understand, Commander," T'Soni answered. "But everything is as I've said. If at one point Benezia turned traitor, she must have had her own reasons - reasons she didn't share with me. As time went by we became increasingly estranged, and for years I have not heard a word from her. I know nothing of any betrayal!"

Tali certainly knew all about _that_, a distant or estranged parent, but this did not seem like a good argument to her – even an estranged parent was a parent, after all. One would still help them, even if maybe only grudgingly. _Or maybe I'm really generalising too much from myself. _

"That krogan down there didn't seem like he would spare her," Wrex said. "if that was a trick to convince us she isn't on Saren's side then it was a damn dangerous one."

There was a palatable sense of surprise in the air. It was not exactly the most sophisticated and clever argument, but it happened rarely enough that Wrex spoke on his own at all without being prodded. And most people would probably think even such simple arguments as being beyond a krogan's grasp. _But that damn krogan _is _more clever than he looks, I'm sure of it._

"Would Benezia really allow Saren's troops to kill her daughter, though?" Alenko asked.

"Maybe she doesn't know about it," Shepard argued, "it's clear he's pulling the strings, not she."

"In that case it's no argument either way," Williams exclaimed. "She could be working with her mother and could have been assaulted without Benezia's knowledge."

"I can assure you, I certainly feel no loyalty to people trying to kidnap me," T'Soni stated, "Even if that were the case I would now most certainly not stand on Saren's side any more." There was a noticeable and somewhat awkward pause. "Uh, not that I would ally myself to traitors in the first place."

_Either she is a really bad actor... or a supremely good actor trying to convince us she could not state a convincing lie even if her life depended on it. _That uncertainty annoyed Tali, and thinking about it only caused her even more headaches. It made T'Soni appear almost slippery to her.

"This is nonsense," Wrex said, though his voice was only marginally more emotional that normal "if she were on Saren's side he'd have already used her in her search for the conduit."

"The Conduit?" T'Soni asked. "The Prothean artifact?"

"Yes," Shepard confirmed. "That is the second reason we needed to find you. Your expertise on the Protheans. And it may be Saren wanted to... _recruit_ you for the same reasons. We know the goal of Saren and his geth is to find the Conduit. Do you know anything about it, to start with?"

"Only that it was somehow connected to to the Prothean extinction," T'Soni replied, "That's my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."

"I have acquired information about that as well," Shepard said. "I think we can consider the issue settled."

"With all due respect, Commander," T'Soni answered. "I have heard that often enough. There are hundreds of amateur historians or outright charlatans out there who claim to perfectly know what really happened to the Protheans." Tali saw how Commander Shepard tried to speak in response, but he did not come to it, as T'Soni simply spoke on. "While I admire the dedication of some of them, none of these claims are scientifically sound. The problem is that the Protheans left remarkably little behind to verify any theories. It's almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It's like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxies of clues."

Tali found it both funny and annoying to watch the Doctor blather on, but she could understand run-away enthusiasm only all too well. _Maybe she indeed only is what she says she is. Then again... _It was kind of difficult for her to come to a conclusion with her head aching like hell, and that made her feel grumpy.

"But I have evidence, doctor," Shepard finally cut in forcefully, "if you would be so kind as to let me explain."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Commander," the asari apologised, abashed. "I rarely get the chance to speak of my work and... well..."

"It's all right, I understand," the Commander replied. "The geth attack on Eden Prime. Its major objective was to capture a working Prothean beacon."

"A working Prothean beacon?" she replied, and the usual soft monotone of her voice was cut through by excitement "Those are incredibly rare. I would give a century of my life to study one. No wonder the geth risked such an attack, it is worth almost any risk."

Shepard shrugged. "The Council didn't put as much stock in it," he said. "In any case, I came into contact with the beacon as well. It... It kinda burned a message into my brain, a vision. But the beacon was damaged, and the vision was all garbled. I'm still trying to make sense of it. But it clearly did record the extinction of the Prothean race – at the end of hyper-advanced synthetic lifeforms called 'the Reapers'. The existence of those Reapers was verified by retrieved geth databanks as well. Apparently, they and Saren work on their return."

"This... this is incredible news," T'Soni responded. "It makes sense that you would see a vision – the beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. But to date there had never been any recordings on the Prothean extinction found whatsoever. Until now, it appears. Excuse me, Commander, but this totally transforms my entire field of study." The Commander nodded understandingly and T'Soni went on: "And I'm amazed you were able to make sense of the beacon's visions at all. They were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology, so damaged or not, any information you received would be confused, unclear. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed, Commander."

"This is not helping us further," Tali interjected, a little surprised by herself. Mostly, it was her annoyance at being unable to properly judge T'Soni's motivations which finally made itself a way, coupled with her temper being a bit shorter than it usually would without headaches. _But it truly does not help us further. And is she just trying to kiss up to the Commander to gain his trust?_

"Of course, you are right," T'Soni admitted. "I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. There is one more thing I can contribute, a theory I already had developed before."

"If you think it of relevance to us, go ahead," Shepard invited her.

"The Protheans are not the oldest extinct race we know of," T'Soni explained. "There are traces of sentient life in the galaxy that go back literally millions of years, though I could only think of one example in that category. But there is definitely evidence of sentient life that goes back one hundred or two hundred thousands years, which is long before the Protheans arose to prominence. And all those civilisations vanished mysteriously. However, according to my findings, those were not unrelated events – there is a cycle of galactic destruction. Each time a great civilisation raises, it is suddenly and violently cast down, leaving only ruins behind to be exploited by the next civilisation. Just as we nowadays use the remains of the Prothean empire, like the mass relays or the Citadel, the Protheans built them based on the technology of the races that had come before them. It is as if those civilisations all died out with a frightening regularity that allowed their successors to climb to the top based on their remains. Now you say that the Reapers destroyed the Protheans, and that they are about to return, so... well, it's a terrible thought, but..."

"If they 'return' every time it might be the Reapers stand behind that entire cycle, not only the destruction of the Protheans," Shepard finished for her.

"As if the stakes were not high enough already," Williams commented.

"Saren wants to facilitate the return of the Reapers by finding this 'Conduit," Shepard said. "We need to pre-empt him, but for the moment being any of us could probably walk past it without ever knowing it's the Conduit, since nobody of us here has enough knowledge on matters Prothean. So, that is why I'd like to ask for your help, Dr T'Soni. Your theories and explanations mark you as a potentially very useful expert for our team."

"That, and her biotics," Wrex added.

"I can hardly deny your request with so much at stake," T'Soni replied. "And especially not after you saved my life. Besides, I figure that Saren might still be looking for me. Your ship is probably the safest place for me."

Before Shepard could answer, Joker's voice on the loud speakers cut through the room: "Ah, Commander, the Council is on the line. Want to speak with you for an after mission-debriefing."

"Ah, timing. All right, one moment," Shepard replied and shrugged. "Well then, Dr T'Soni, welcome aboard. Like the other non-humans here you'll officially be part of my Spectre's entourage. I think Navigator Presley can show you the ship and introduce the others to you."

"Yes, sir," Presley replied.

"Thank you, Commander," T'Soni said. "And please, 'Liara' is enough. I enjoyed having a bit of formalism to win a greater distance when I suspected being a prisoner, but normally we asari do not place all too great stock on titles or family names."

"Very well, Liara," Shepard answered. "I'll come talk to you later. I can't exactly keep the Council waiting"

As Shepard turned towards the holographic communication console, the asari was gently led out of the room by Presley, followed by the other humans. However, Tali noticed that Shepard had not explicitly dismissed anybody. Feeling more comfortable in her chair than she would be walking due to her illness, and being very much curious about what the Council had to say, she decided to stay, as did Garrus.

"You can patch them through now, Joker," Shepard announced, and shortly afterwards holographic images of the three Councilors appeared at the console.

"Commander," the asari Councilor greeted him. "We've heard news about your mission. We understand you were medically incapacitated for a while, but can we assume that we get a full report from you soon?"

"Of course," Shepard answered.

"Good," the turian Councilor said. "We also understand that Dr T'Soni is aboard the _Normandy_. Can we also assume that the necessary security precautions have been taken?"

"Yes," Shepard confirmed. "Dr T'Soni is still under continued supervision, for the moment being. However, for various reasons I don't think she is on the side of her mother, or Saren's. I will list out the details in the full report, and I think I can do away with that supervision soon."

"We are looking forwards to it," the salarian Councilor said. "Good to hear the mission was a success."

"Apart from the utter destruction of a major Prothean ruin," the turian Councilor disagreed. "Was that really necessary, Shepard?"

"I'm sure, Councilor, that if you had been there you'd have found a perfect solution to reach the mission's objective," Shepard answered. Tali was a bit surprised; after all that turian was one of the three most important people in the galaxy. But then Shepard had already verbally attacked him on the Citadel, in the Council Chamber itself nonetheless. The Commander did not seem to be the kind of person who could let any challenge to him go by unanswered. Garrus, however, seemed positively flabbergasted by Shepard's lack of respect to the Council.

"No, I wouldn't have," the turian Councilor answered, "but then I'm also no Spectre. It isn't expected of me. You are a Spectre, though."

"Yeah, well, it shows that you are not," Shepard said. "Or else you might have understood and appreciated the needs of pre-empting the enemy in capturing T'Soni, the ensuing time pressure and the fact that the cavern was de facto enemy territory, crawling with geth."

"Of course, Commander," the salarian Councilor intervened, "the mission must always take priority."

"Good luck, Commander," the asari Councilor wrapped the conversation up, "We'll await your report, and remember: We're all counting on you." The holographic images faded.

"Yeah, no pressure at all," Shepard muttered, and then turned again to the chairs, facing Garrus and Tali. "Your curiosity is satisfied, now?" he asked with a lazy half-grin.

Tali and Garrus exchanged a quick, awkward glance, before both began to stumble out incoherent apologies, causing Shepard to laugh.

"It's all right," he said, "I'd have sent you away if it had really bothered me."

"Uh, right,"Garrus said, still awkwardly, "I should... go back to my terminal then. Find out more about Feros. That is, Feros is where we are going now, I assume?"

"It is," Shepard confirmed, "so you better do that." Without another word, Garrus just turned and left. "Meanwhile, Tali, you're restricted from just about any work for today. The Mako has been recovered and is slightly damaged, but today you won't be climbing around in it. I'll need you at Feros in full health."

"Ah, understood, Commander," Tali replied.

"Of course, the same applies for me," Shepard continued. "So I guess for now I'll simply go to the mess and see if they have something good to eat. Wanna join?"

"Sure, why not?" she countered. "It's not like you have left me with anything else to do."

Shepard chuckled, and they turned to walk towards the mess.

...

The mess was surprisingly empty, and so Tali and Shepard had the entire table for themselves. By the time Shepard had finally put together a meal, Tali had already grabbed a nutrient paste tube from her belongings, returned to the table and opened it.

"So, you wanted to tell me about the geth," Shepard said as he approached the table, but before Tali could answer added: "Ah, right, we probably should get some, err, quarian compatible food from somewhere. I mean, how long do your reserves still last?"

"Months," Tali answered. "Since every pilgrimage is of varying length, such time frames must be taken into consideration, after all. I don't think I'll need any restocking during the duration of the mission." She looked up a bit more and starred at Shepard's table, which was basically flowing over with different foods, both warm and cold. "Ah..." she began. She considered a clever quip at first, but that would hardly have been appropriate to one's commanding officer, so instead she said nothing. Nonetheless, Shepard seemed to understand what had caught her attention, and laughed shortly.

"I know, I know," he said and shrugged, "it looks much. But it's because I'm biotic. Biotic power eats up a lot of the body's energy, and that must be regenerated in some way again. Besides, you've heard Dr Chakwas, our bodies are currently eating up inordinate amounts of energy anyway, due to the medical regeneration."

Tali had never spent much thought on what it mean being a biotic, beyond the certain exotic flair of them. That had been her gut impression of the phenomena so far, and it did make the Commander exotic in a way. _More exotic that is. As if he needed any more. _Shepard had quite a fascinating personality as it was anyway. In her short time aboard she had heard countless tales about him already – the Lion of Elysium, the Saviour of Eden Prime, First Human Spectre. And yet, despite all that acclaim, he did not seem any distant, but rather seemed to retain a basically friendly and nice personality. Even towards her, despite the usual prejudices against quarians. She did not know whether Shepard just did not have any, or bothered to hide them. _In their own ways, both would be rather extraordinary: Most people don't seem to make a fuss about their dislike of my race._

"Right," was what she answered, and took a long draw from her tube. "That makes sense."

"So that means you should make sure to eat enough, too," Shepard answered. "What with all your work in Engineering, and your effort in the ground missions, your body really deserves it. You're working a lot for this mission."

Part of Tali's mind glowed at the praise, while another part was slightly embarrassed. "I don't think it's all that much," she replied. "This mission does more for me than I could ever do for it: I get the chance to fight geth, and to work on _this_ ship, without restrictions. One of the most advanced vessels in Citadel space. I get the chance to see and work on such things as its super-compact drive core, its stealth capabilities, its..." She actually began a list of the _Normandy's_ outstanding features, and to explain why they were so grand, totally taken away by her enthusiasm, before she awkwardly stopped herself.

Shepard laughed, but he did not seem put off by her rambling. He even continued to grin as he answered: "Okay, I get it, I get it."

"In short," Tali said, trying to regain composure, "travelling on the _Normandy_ is a dream come true for me." She paused and then added dryly: "Even if it does mean getting shot sometimes."

"Well I knew about your engineering skills of course," Shepard said. "But I had no idea you found ship technology _that_ interesting."

"Most quarians do to some degree," Tali explained. "Ships are our most valuable resources, after all. Without them, without the Migrant Fleet, our race couldn't survive. But we don't have anything like this. We make do with cast-offs and second hand equipment. We just try to keep them running for as long as we can. It's quite a difference to working here."

"Well, I can hardly complain about having such high morale among my crew;" Shepard commented, still grinning. "Now, you wanted to tell me about the geth?"

And so Tali did. She explained that geth were not robots, but that rather those robots were platforms, carrying what the geth really were – programs, software. She explained that a platform depending on size could carry a dozen, several dozens or even hundreds of geth, and that this was necessary, too, as a single geth program on its own would be not much more intelligent than any program on her omnitool. As such, geth were not true AI; the quarians had not violated the AI research laws of the Citadel all the way back. Rather, they had underestimated the power of the neural network: If several geth were in vicinity of each other, they could share some program processes, freeing up resources for conscious thought. This did not make them a hive mind or anything; rather the geth made decisions by consensus among the various involved programs. As such, every movement of a geth platform was a deliberate decision, but since the inter-program consultations of those were run in machine time this usually did not show.

It was the accumulating power of the neural network which pushed the geth to become true de facto AI, which in turned caused the Geth War. While hard data about geth was hard to come by these days, the quarians assumed that the geth still tried to form as large networks as possible. While not truly a hive mind, remaining data from the War indicated that they seemed to have developed a 'philosophy' (if it could be called such in case of software programs) seeing themselves, seeing all geth, as a sort of monolithic entity – most likely a result from their routine consensus forming.

Of course, this went a bit far into the theoretical and abstract. What Tali focused on, and what was probably most important for Shepard was that geth acted cleverer when in greater numbers. This did not necessarily mean the number of platforms, but the number of single geth programs. The more geth programs were in an area, the more they could share 'subconscious' routines, freeing up resources for combat, among other things. That was how neural network worked, and it worked the better the closer the geth programs were to each other.

Despite her doing most of the talking, Shepard proved to be an engaging opposite in conversation. He understood the gist of her explanations quite well, and for the most part his questions were constructive and on the mark. This continued even when the conversation shifted to Tali telling stories about her home and her people, at Shepard's urging. She told him about life on the Rayya, about quarian society, about the hardships her people faced. Only her family she left mostly out, as this was a rather complex topic: She was not quite sure how she could describe her father and her relationship to him to outsiders, besides the barest outline she had already told Shepard in an earlier conversation.

Instead, to evade that topic, she talked about quarians in general, and she found Shepard to be apparently genuinely interested and even to a degree knowledgeable in the subject. Seeing as he had not even known what her suit was for at her first day aboard it appeared he had read up on the topic – and very few people cared enough about the quarians to do that. In a way it was surprising, but in another way it somehow fit to Shepard. In any case it was quite uplifting to find somebody who thought of her people as being important enough to gather information about them. He seemed especially interested in the close social bonds between quarians, about how a ship's crew was basically one's extended family (even though the pilgrimages ensured that this was not genetically the case), and about how quarian economy was essentially money-less. The way the Commander basically ate up those tales made it clear he saw something appealing in those facts.

"Quarian society has its advantages, yes," Tali said after a while, "but it also has disadvantages. Sometimes all the bad aspects of close-knit communities come up, too – rumours, social positioning, excluding those people the group doesn't like..." She stopped right there, because to a degree the latter had happened to her on the Fleet, but that was not something she wished to bring up now. "Either way, it's just how we live," she concluded. "And I think I've told you plenty about that now. What about you? Where did you grow up?"

Tali thought the question innocent enough, but Shepard did a visible double-take, and then slumped together somewhat with a sigh. "It's fair enough, I guess," he said, "you have told me quite a bit about you after all. It's just... well, I did some things in my youth I'm absolutely not proud of nowadays. Not at all." He shook his head. "But it's all in the public records anyway, and I stand to it, so I might as well tell it."

Tali gathered her thoughts and answered with a minor pause: "I didn't mean to bring up something associated with such bad memories. You don't need to answer."

Shepard sighed again. "Everybody can look it up on the extranet," he said. "So it doesn't matter. Short version is that I basically grew up on the street... I..." He struggled with something and then shook his head. "Never mind," he said, "point is that I ran with gangs as a youth. Did some really screwed up stuff in that time. I mean, it wasn't like I had much choice, in a way, but still, it's nothing I'm proud of" He made a melancholic, loop-sided half grin. "So, now you know. It isn't something I explain often, but it is something I tell when asked about, because, well, it's no secret."

Tali did not quite know what to say in response to that. She got the gist of what Shepard was saying, but still some concepts mostly escaped her. 'Living on the street' was something entirely impossible on the Fleet, for example – not only for lack of streets; there was a real physical lack of space that prevented anybody from falling through the cracks, never mind the strong family and social bonds of the quarians that would never allow it, either. Which was probably just what Shepard founded so attractive in her stories. She was in any case still confused by his explanation, but she did not push the issue, seeing how uncomfortable it made him. Trying to wrap the topic up she said: "But you have left that behind. Or so it seems."

Shepard nodded, but his facial expression looked grim. "Joined the armed forces for that one reason," he said. "It helped that I was biotically gifted, of course, so they basically took me with no questions asked. Well, not at first anyway. It was also the only reason I stayed, despite... well... never mind. I stayed in the navy because of fear of falling back into that old life." He shrugged. "But I guess I didn't come too bad out of it, now."

"You are the first human Spectre," Tali replied without thinking much, "So I would definitely say so."

"Heh, thanks. I guess." Shepard answered. "Well, I got away from it all. And it seems you got away from your upbringing... for a time."

It was a rather awkward and obvious attempt to change the topic at every price, but Tali understood that, and went along. "As you say, only temporarily," she confirmed. "I could never abandon my people. But the pilgrimage is probably the most important rite any quarian passes through during his or her life."

"I must admit I didn't quite understand your explanations there," Shepard said, "I mean, the aim is to prove one's abilities to one's new Captain, but most Captains will take just about everybody to increase crew size? Isn't that a bit contradictory? If that's the case, why does one still need to prove oneself?"

"These days crew size is an asset," Tali answered, "but that wasn't always so. While we quarians still only live a hull breach away from death, at least these days we always have enough food or medicine. That wasn't always so. When the tradition of the pilgrimage started, Captains really had to take care not to let people join who would only use up resources but not contribute. Of course, this isn't the case any more, but the tradition remains. A suitable pilgrimage gift will increase one's standing in the new crew, something that of course is always helpful."

"Okay, but that means the pilgrimage gifts themselves cannot be all that important as a way to gain resources, right?" Shepard asked. "I mean if they were, wouldn't the Migrant Fleet send out trained experts with sufficient experience to retrieve resources from the outside instead of, well, youths who have never left the Fleet before and who are basically told to do whatever to acquire a suitable gift?"

"But the tradition exists anyway," Tali argued. "So the Fleet might as well use make use of us to gather resources. Since us quarians on pilgrimage are out here in space anyway, there is no need for specifically trained experts."

"I just... don't know," Shepard answered. He seemed engaged in the argument now, probably happy about the successful topic change. "That sounds a bit like circular logic to me, but okay. Still, even if it's as you've said – it appears kinda, well, cruel to me to. Dumping out your youths who have never left the fleet before, leaving it entirely to them how to find an appropriate pilgrimage gift, in a galaxy that basically shuns them, far away from everything they have known so far..." He shrugged. "You seem to have adapted well, but I can't imagine every quarian does."

_It's a good thing he isn't uncomfortable any more, but he is distorting the entire tradition!_ "We are not 'dumped out'" she replied, "we receive a thorough training on what to expect, implants to strengthen our immune systems and several gifts to make our journey easier. Of course every quarian will face some difficulties during their pilgrimages, but it's a rite of passage."

"Okay, so you get some teaching," Shepard argued, "but still it's your first trip outside the Fleet, and already that trip is being all alone and expected to make some big haul. Or well, sufficiently big, at least. That just doesn't seem right."

"Every quarian is required to go on the pilgrimage," Tali answered, "so if it were really that dangerous our numbers would suffer. Virtually every pilgrimage ends with a triumphant return and a ritual presentation of the gift to one of the Fleet's captains."

"But you quarians face a hard enough life as is, anyway, no?" Shepard asked, "So why make it more difficult, if only temporarily?"

"The universe _is _a harsh place," Tali agreed, "that is true. The Migrant Fleet is what gives us, the quarians, a protective sanctuary in it. I think being isolated from it for a while helps us appreciate that fact."

"So it's a form of 'scare'em straight'," Shepard commented, "yeah, I know all about that."

"What do you mean, 'scare'em straight'?" Tali asked. She became a bit irritated at Shepard's ongoing criticisms of her people's traditions.

"Well, if people tend to accept a given state of affairs easier if they have been scared of the alternatives," Shepard explained, apparently oblivious to her irritation. "That is what kept me in the military. Seems to me... well, I can't say for sure, of course, but seems to me it works similar with the pilgrimage: People will be far more accepting of whatever happens inside the Migrant Fleet, like the absolute rule of the Captains or the role of the Admiralty Board, for example, once they have been properly scared of the outside world."

_What is he talking about? _Tali thought. She was utterly dismayed by Shepard's attitude. It had become clear he did not dismiss the quarians, their society or their customs out of hand, but it now seemed he simply had found a more sophisticated way of doing so. _In the end, they're all the same _Tali thought, disillusioned. _Everybody sees us as somehow beneath them. Either from the start or due to some 'clever' argument._ That was maybe not an entirely fair attitude on her part, but it was the disappointed impression she had at the moment.

"This is not at all what the pilgrimage is like!" she answered fiercely, visibly surprising Shepard.

"Okay, okay," he replied. "I didn't mean... I didn't mean to offend you." However, he did not say anything more, did not try to justify or explain himself. And Tali, on her part, did not answer to that, either, so an uncomfortable, awkward silence fell over the table.

Shepard was still working on what had remained of his huge pile of food, but Tali could have stood up and walked away now. After all, there seemed to be nothing more to say. However, she did not wish to leave with such an awkward silence standing between them – yet couldn't think of anything to break it, too, with the only result being that she lengthened said awkwardness by staying, yet not talking.

This atmosphere of uneasy tension remained even as Lieutenant Alenko entered the mess and, after having taken some food himself he took a seat at the table, too. He did not exactly look happy, either, for whatever reason. He fit in just fine.

"Commander, Tali," he greeted the two, who both just nodded in return. After a while, with nothing more said, he remarked: "Seems to be a thought heavy silence here."

"You don't exactly look like the soul of joviality, either, Lieutenant," Shepard replied, quickly enough that Tali suspected he was happy for any way to finally break that silence.

"Yeah, well, there's a lot on my mind," Alenko stated, "I think T'Soni, ah, Liara can be trusted. Wrex was right in both his points, and she seems nice enough. Easy on the eye, too. I mean, if you like the bookish sort."

Shepard laughed. "Just remember, Lieutenant, if you have such thoughts: I saw her first."

Alenko managed the smallest hint of a smile on his still rather glum face and replied: "Details, details."

Tali however, was not pleased. It was of course just stuff men joked about (or women when men were the subject), apparently no matter whether on the Migrant Fleet or here. She did not even mind that they did so in her presence; quarians were after all used to observing other people's conversations in the crammed conditions of the Fleet ships. It was the subject of this banter. It made her feel as if Liara's fawning over the Commander had produced results, despite the patheticness of it all. And that made Tali angry, as it let Shepard appear rather shallow. Still, she decided to remain. _Now I might as well listen to all he has to say about her. _That however was not the turn the conversation took:

"That can't be why you're looking so glum, though," Shepard remarked.

"It's not," Alenko admitted. "Off the record?"

"Hah," Shepard made, "this is the mess table. I would surely hope things don't get too official here."

"Ya, you're probably right," Alenko agreed. "But I think something's wrong here. This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction – repeated galactic extinction if, ah, Liara is right – but we can't get back-up from the Council? Sorry Commander, there's writing on the wall here, but somebody isn't reading it."

"The Council sees itself, its era, as the height of galactic peace and civilisation," Shepard responded, "they're ill-equipped to admitting that anything might be wrong. Now, I'd call that human nature, but..."

"I hear ya," Alenko replied, "I... it just seems like a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming. Especially as not everything has been all rosy in their time. But yeah, they'd never admit to that." He shook his head. "It's funny. We finally got out here, to the stars, and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don't even seem impressed by the views. Or the dangers."

Shepard laughed. "Ah I see," he said, "good old-fashioned romanticism. Did you sign on for the dream? 'Secure man's future in space' and all that?"

Alenko chuckled, though it sounded insecure. "Well, maybe in the beginning," he admitted, "Might be I was a romantic then. But I thought all it over before joining. You know how it is, Commander, biotics aren't actively restricted from any line of work, but we sure are watched and registered anyway, so we might as well make a living out of it. I'm not looking for 'the dream'. I just wanted to do some good, see what's out here."

"I see," Shepard said. "There are worse reasons to join up, that's for sure." A heavy pause set in again in the conversation, something that apparently still was not to the Commander's liking as he asked after some moments: "So what did you do before you joined the navy?"

"Ah, I was born in Singapore," he answered, "but most of my youth I spent on Gagarin Station, as part of Brain Camp... ah, sorry, 'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training'. But that name didn't make it through the airlock."

"I've read a little on it," Shepard commented. "That was obviously before my time. When I got biotic training, it already didn't exist any more."

Alenko smiled or grinned at something, but it was a melancholic smile, and Tali could not quite understand what it was for. The Lieutenant shook his head and answered: "No. That was at the very beginning of human understanding of biotics, so the Alliance hired Conatix to haul in kids for research... Sorry, 'haul in' is unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled'."

"In other words, you were hauled in," Shepard said grimly.

"Whatever you want to call it, in reality it was a bunch of guys in suits showing up at your door after school, and next thing you know you're out on Jump Zero," Alenko explained.

"Figures," Shepard muttered, shaking his head, "That does sound just like the Alliance."

"I wouldn't go so far, Commander," Alenko disagreed, "Besides, there are worse results to _'accidental'_ exposure to Element Zero in the womb. Beats the brain tumours some kids grew up with. Or, you know, not being born alive in the first place."

"Accidental?" Shepard asked. "I see what you mean. Were you exposed _'accidentally'_ that way?"

"No, that's not really possible," Alenko answered, "My mother got exposed in a transport crash, only a little after the discovery of the Martian ruins, before people even knew about human biotics. Things only get iffy around '63, when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they were able to rely on us accidentals, by well... hauling us in, as you decided it should be called."

"And after 63?" Shepard inquired, his voice getting ever grimmer as Tali noticed. "Were there deliberate exposures?"

"Nobody knows for sure," Alenko explained, "but that doesn't mean they didn't happen. As big as the previous exposures were at times, it was difficult to track down accidentals. Things were different back then – no one knew the boundaries of biotic potential, so there were no regulations. Everything Conatix did was gold. I'm not saying they intentionally detonated drives over our outposts, but in retrospect, they were damn quick on the scene."

Tali saw Shepard forming a fist beneath the table. She didn't think that Alenko had caught it, though, and the Commander quickly relaxed his hand again, breathed out and asked, still rather calmly: "So, what was Jump Zero like?"

"The 'great gateway to humanity' looks better in the vids," Alenko claimed, "True, it was the biggest and farthest space facility we had for decades, and it's where they did the 'goose chase' FTL research, before we caught on to using mass effects fields – but that meant that when I was there it was just a sterile research platform."

"But there others like you in the same boat, right?" Shepard asked.

"That's true. We did have a little circle that would get together every night before lights-out. We didn't have much to do, though. There was absolutely nothing out there, and Conatix kept Jump Zero off the extranet, to prevent leaks."

"So to add to it," Shepard said in a voice that was a sarcastic mockery of an exposition "they also kept you in isolation at the then arse-end of humanity, far away from, well, everything and everybody?"

"Ah, I suppose that's true," Alenko answered. "But anyway, that's stuff that all happened years back. This conversation turned out to be more than just an informal debriefing."

"Maybe," Shepard said, "I just don't understand... you were practically kidnapped on Alliance authority and isolated, by a company that as you say probably deliberately created element zero exposures. And yet you still joined the Alliance Navy?"

"I joined on my own terms, for my own reasons," Alenko replied, "What was I supposed to do? Hate the Alliance?"

"Maybe not hate them" Shepard said. "Still.. well, all I say is that I don't know if I would have joined up if the Alliance had kidnapped me at one time."

That was the breaking point for Tali. She stood up and left the table, not bothering nor desiring to hear the end of _that_ conversation, leaving the two humans behind in surprise. She suspected her departure was rather sudden, but Shepard's attitude throughout the whole conversation had rubbed her the wrong way. True, whoever or whatever 'Conatix' was, they had clearly done wrong by the Lieutenant - but Shepard's conclusion sounded like an appeal to disloyalty to her. _Ancestors know the Admiralty Board or the Conclave don't always make the right choice, but that doesn't mean I'd ever turn my back on the Fleet!_

That was what bothered her. The universe was an unjust place, but the only way to deal with that fact was to accept it. The conclusion could not be to shun one's government. Born for generations into an at times desperate struggle for survival, 'duty' was an ingrained part in the mind of most quarians, and that counted double so for Tali, due to her father and how he had raised her. Yet, Shepard did not seem to have much of a concept of it.

She had to admit she was somewhat disappointed in the Commander.


	7. Ch7: Feros I: Zhu's Hope

Tali felt as she did not belong here.

Her illness had gotten better throughout the last day, though some pressure inside her head remained. Still, she began to be unsure about her place on the _Normandy_. Nothing had changed since she had come aboard, but now that the initial enthusiasm had worn off over she felt out of place. In a way, the _Normandy_ felt sterile to her on several levels: There were no machines summing in the background, nothing that would tell anybody how the machinery was working. Human crews, or at least human military crews, tended to be so much more formal than she was used to. Moreover, the ship was full of shiny and brand new looking but empty places, something that was a rarity on the Migrant Fleet. She realised that there was nothing wrong with any of those issues, it was just the human way of doing things – but that was the point, it was not hers or the quarian way. During her pilgrimage journey so up to this point she had rarely thought about how far she was from home, but now she was acutely aware of it.

It did not help, either, that her sleeping problems had not gotten much better. Any time she lay inside one of the pods, her thoughts automatically and against her will only focused all the more on everything that was different aboard the _Normandy_. And the part of her mind warning her that the ship was to fall apart any minute now, as the machinery must have stopped working, was annoying as hell. Failure was about the only reason why machines would be silent on the Flotilla. This was different aboard the _Normandy_ as well, and Tali knew it, but it seemed her subconsciousness did not yet. And so the last few sleeping rotations she always only got some few hours of rest, making her more or less perpetually tired.

Of course normally she would have told her self to toughen up and get over it. After all, this mission still was a chance for her to hit the geth, a chance she may never have again. Additionally, it did allow her to work on one of the most advanced ships she had ever seen. And she was not one who would easily complain or mop about anything. After all, that just was not how the universe worked: Whether one complained or not, bad things would happen anyway. And she would do the duties she signed up for when joining Commander Shepard. However, her initial enthusiasm for his mission had been turned a bit sour by her last conversation with him.

It was a bit silly, maybe. Maybe she simply overreacted. But the mission did not feel as pure as before, in a way – she realised now she had seen it more or less as a noble crusade against her people's nemesis, led by a gallant and bold Commander. However, it turned out that he of course was also just a person. That in itself was only natural, but it contributed to her alienation. Modern as the _Normandy_ was, she was a regular _human _warship under a regular _human _commanding officer, and at the moment Tali could feel all the differences to how quarians went about things quite keenly.

She had tried her best to not let her mood interfere with her duties. During the last days, on the journey to Feros, she had in fact done little else but discharging her duties. She had worked, eaten and tried to sleep at best as possible for her. She knew she should also have tried to socialise with the crew, or maybe go to Dr Chakwas for her sleeplessness, but that had all seemed to be too much for her. However, she did her duty, as always. Thus, at the moment, she was standing at her post in the reactor core of the _Normandy_. The ship had reached Feros, and Shepard had called battle stations, anticipating a geth presence in orbit. The _Normandy_ ran in full stealth mode, but was also ready to enter battle if necessary. So far, the sensors had not picked up anything, but Tali was ready to do her part.

Even though she should be alert her tired mind began to wander. She wondered if it had been the geth at all who had attacked Feros. Feros, a planet entirely covered in Prothean city ruins. With a human colony that was not responding to calls any more. And most likely the place of the next major strike against the geth. She wondered if that could brighten things for her. Maybe. Or maybe not. A planet full of ruins seemed unlikely to her to make matters change for the better. _We left enough of those behind when we fled the Veil. _

The _Normandy_ entered the planet's atmosphere, as Tali could deduce from her sensor readings. Since no geth warships had been encountered, the plan was to head directly for the human colony, docking in one of the skyscrapers connected to it. She had been informed that she and the other aliens who were directly subordinate to Shepard as a Spectre were to form the advance party, under his command.

She had her suit inject stimulants into her. She would be ready for the mission, no matter her morale.

000000

Zhu's Hope was odd. And not only its structure and 'architecture' if one could call it such. That was weird enough. Feros was littered with Prothean city ruins. During its glory days it must have been one planet-wide city, as unbelievable as the thought was. However, after fifty thousand years, only the naked concrete had remained of the Prothean skyscrapers. They were still enormous, raging kilometres into the atmosphere and broader like a dreadnought. But they were only naked stone and debris, giant structures in the sky and nothing to live in any more. And so, like most colonies, Zhu's Hope relied on prefabs. The weird thing was that in this case the prefabs had been placed on what once had been a skyscraper level. The people of Zhu's Hope lived inside houses that were inside a house. And with the contrast of naked concrete and prefab steel, it didn't make for a nice view.

However, that might merely be seen as a marvel of adaptability. What was truly odd was the mentality of the people. Some weirdness in that regard was to be expected. The Commander had seen shell shocked civilians during the Blitz, or on other engagements, and as he had explained Tali he even had frozen up himself during his first engagement as a marine. He knew that battle stress could cause some pretty odd reactions. And Zhu's Hope, the main human colony on Feros, had been hit hard by the geth. It was constantly pounded by wave after wave of attack, and very likely only Shepard's intervention had driven off the latest assault.

Still, there was more to it. Every single colonist seemed close-mouthed and at times even hostile to his presence. They all told him to talk to Fai Dan, the colony's leader, if there was an issue to discuss. Everybody, every single time. And they all praised Feros' qualities as a home to live on, despite the rather dire facts on the ground, despite the colony being impoverished even without synthetics attacking, despite them living in small and crammed prefabs, inside ugly giant ruins. Both seemed to be a behaviour much too ingrained to be a result from the geth attack. Something was wrong with the colony.

One could simply call it the usual strange behaviour of small settlements, ever mistrustful of outsiders. However, Zhu's Hope had only existed for four years so far, far to few time for its inhabitants to already acquire such behaviour. Which additionally made the praise of Feros as a home even more ludicrous. The settlement had been founded by ExoGeni, the leading Alliance corporation in funding colonisation, but without any spectacular finds among the ruins remained rather unprofitable, or so Fai Dan had told Shepard. Still everybody claimed to love their new home. Either the colony was the largest case ever for psychological aid, or something was going on of which Shepard had no idea. It was somewhat like in the vids in which the protagonist enters a small town where everybody is keeping a secret from outsiders. At least that was the best explanation Shepard could come up with. _As if they had collectively murdered and ritually eaten the previous colony governor or something._

It didn't matter much. Shepard would do his utmost to protect the colony regardless of its secret, if there even was one. But he was pretty sure his primary memory of the planet would remain that of the strange behaviour of the people here and not the fight against the geth.

The geth were a problem. Shepard and his 'entourage' had repelled the attack against the colony that had started when the _Normandy_ had just arrived, and they even had destroyed the geth's forwards command post. Still, the tactical situation appeared rather grim. The colony was still besieged, cut off from water, food and power, its surrounding tunnels and tower passages in enemy hand and often unexplored, while the geth main base was outside their immediate reach at another skyscraper, at the local ExoGeni headquarters. And nobody could tell when the next geth attack would come, or how many geth units there were around.

Additionally, the _Normandy _was trapped in its dock: A geth ship had started during the fighting, and it had become clear they had not been detected before because they had attached themselves to the Prothean skyscraper ruins, covered by their walls from prying sensors. And so now at least one enemy ship was in the air, while the _Normandy _was not. Should the _Normandy_ try to leave her dock, she would be an easy target. All the stealth in the galaxy would not save her from visual targeting, and the need for manoeuvring to get out of her dock made it impossible to flee enemy fire.

Nonetheless, Shepard planned to take the fight to the geth, to destroy their main base. He had ordered Lieutenant Alenko to lead the regular Marine detachment of the ship outside, to take up position in the colony and help secure it. That way the Spectre and his 'entourage' were free to go on the offensive. Currently, the marines were using materials from the _Normandy_ to build up a provisional command post of their own inside the colony, carrying communication and sensor gear from the ship and assembling it at the settlement, while Shepard's team was preparing itself for going on the offensive. Both groups were eyes suspiciously by the colonists.

The Commander spotted Alenko standing at the 'entrance' to the colony, supervising his marines carrying equipment, and walked towards him.

"Commander," the Lieutenant greeted when he noticed Shepard's approach,

"Lieutenant," Shepard replied, "how is building up the command post going?"

"That's the last batch of equipment," Alenko answered, "Afterwards, we'll be ready to hold the colony. And help it, hopefully."

"What's the general plan?" Shepard asked. He had not given specific orders to Alenko, preferring instead to rely on the initiative of his officers.

"I've checked in with Fai Dan," Alenko explained, "and it seems we'll have to clear the tunnels. Otherwise, the geth could just use them to whittle us down. That will also allow us to reclaim the much needed water pipes. And I've spoken with Davin Reynolds. There are apparently varren in the tunnels they can hunt for food, once the geth are gone. Once we've dealt with the alpha varren, which is a bit too much for the civilians here. So, if we're successful the colony should be safe and have running water and food again. Not sure if we can do anything about the power supply."

"Heh," Shepard made and grinned, "so much for the marines forming the defensive ground team."

"Yeah, hah, I think that designation has already kinda hurt their pride," Alenko laughed. "though we probably should always have some men back at the settlement. The detachment has six men, so probably two of them will have to stay here while the others are in the tunnels. Even if none of them will like that job."

"Sounds good," Shepard commented. "I'll see what I can do about the power supply. ExoGeni probably uses the same equipment as the settlement here, so maybe I'll find some of those powers cells they need over at what was their headquarters."

Alenko nodded. "It's a bit weird," he said, "the colony doesn't seem to have much in the way of reserves or backup systems. Nobody could have foreseen a geth attack, but they might not have fared better in other emergency situations, either."

"And yet in some things they seem to have massive redundancy," Shepard answered. "They had three armoured vehicles for use at the skyway between here and the corporate headquarters. Two have been destroyed already, but one still works. A Mako, if you can believe it. ExoGeni must've acquired it from the military and slapped some lock on the weapon systems. Didn't even properly disarm it. Tali and Garrus are currently working on unlocking the weapons, so we'll have a proper tank for our offensive."

"That seems like skewed priorities for redundancy," Alenko agreed, "but I think we can't complain about it now."

"Definitely not," Shepard agreed. "We couldn't cross that bridge without an armoured vehicle, and it would've been a mess to attempt to transport our Mako over."

Alenko nodded again and said: "I should go, monitor my team. Good luck, Commander. You may need it."

"Indeed," Shepard confirmed, "it won't..."

He was interrupted by a voice from his communication system: "This is Tali'Zorah to Commander Shepard. The Mako is ready to go."

"Well, that was my own call," Shepard commented. "See you after the mission then. And stay in radio contact!"

The Commander walked off to gather Liara and Wrex. He found both at the edge of the colony, the latter cleaning his shotgun, while the former was concentrating on her biotic powers, a blue aura constantly appearing and subduing again around her hands. Even though she had only joined his entourage some days ago, her presence on this mission was natural: This was after all a world of Prothean ruins. If the geth had found something of value here, maybe she could identify it. Shepard just hoped she knew how to handle herself in combat. She had shown her biotic abilities to him aboard, and they were impressive for an asari of her age. Despite only being an archaeologist, her handling of biotics seemed to indicate professional training, maybe even Asari Commando level training. However, that did not necessarily mean she knew how to keep discipline in combat, or that she had the willpower to use her abilities in an offensive manner. She certainly was currently the weakest link of the team.

Shepard took her and Wrex to the elevator that led to the skyway. The elevator was a human construction that must have been crammed somehow into the Prothean structure, leading them to what was basically an oversized garage pointed towards the skyway. It was overlooked by a small outpost of the colony's defenders, positioned to fend off any possible geth attacks that might occur from that direction. Below the outpost there was a road like construct that led to a garage door. The Mako stood there, as did Tali and Garrus.

Shepard had not had the chance to talk to Tali since their rather unfortunate argument about the quarian pilgrimage tradition. He knew he had upset her, and that it was his fault, but he could not bring himself to really apologise. As far as he was concerned, he had been in the right. It had not been his intention to offend Tali, but he also did not want to provide dishonest apologies or justifications. Or maybe he was simply stubborn. It was in any case an unfortunate state of affairs. He was not too shabby at the social game, in his own estimation, but maintaining friendships, or even acquaintances, was always a problem. Sooner or later he always screwed something up, in his experience. In this case, it had been rather sooner than later. He hoped that discussion would soon be forgotten by all sides.

_And sometimes I don't only screw up, but screw up fatally... _He pushed that thought aside. This was neither the time nor the place to reminiscent about the bad old times of the past. He breathed out and tried to focus. Battle was ahead of them, and he had to get in the mood for it.

"Everything ready?" he asked Tali as soon as he had approached her and Garrus.

"Yes, Commander. As I said," Tali replied. Her voice was rather stiff.

"The vehicle is in top shape," Garrus explained, "I wonder how ExoGeni got their hands on it."

Shepard felt much more comfortable ignoring the tone of Tali's answer and hence turned to Garrus, shrugging "Regardless, it's a good thing they did," he answered and entered the vehicle, soon followed by his team.

"Okay, listen up people," he said when they all had taken their seats. "We have all seen how the geth have pounded the colony. It's about time we take the war to them. Some final instructions: The way from here to the ExoGeni headquarters is not called a skyway for nothing. It's a bridge among the clouds, completely surrounded by air. And the geth have air superiority. Be ready for everything they decide to throw at us. Under those circumstances there won't be pitched battles like on Therum and no infantry covering the Mako's flanks. We might have to rely on speed as much as on fighting power. After all our objective is to reach the HQ, not necessarily to defeat the geth on the skyway. If there are too many and we can dart past them, we will. So, everybody sit tight and hope we make it."

Shepard started the Mako among the various confirmations of his team, slowly driving it to the garage door. For a moment he was unsure himself. The geth would have total superiority of both ground and air out there, and on the skyway the Mako would be a ludicrously open target. But he managed to clear his mind from those thoughts, instead concentrating fully on the coming battle, with no thought of potential failure. A bold grin began to play around his lips as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He had already saved two of the three largest human colonies in his career so far. Feros was a little village in comparison. _So how hard can this get?_

The garage door opened.

The view on the skyway was spectacular. The sun sent a dim light through the clouds, and skyscraper tops of alien shapes could be seen to all sides. The skyway itself was not so much a single bridge but an entire structure of different paths, something that must have been a cloud high traffic network between the towers in Prothean times. The support structures for those roads added to the alien nature of the landscape.

A geth ship soared over by.

The ship dropped geth units directly in front of them on the skyway. Shepard mentally cursed the enemy's quick reaction.

"Geth Armatures!" Tali announced, "tank-level units. They can go toe to toe with the Mako!"

Just as Shepard had suspected, the geth were using their air dominance to fly in reinforcements. He was only surprised the ship had not targeted them directly. Instead, the Armatures did, and soon rockets were flying towards the Mako, passing it left and right. Shepard had to use the maneuverability of the vehicle to its fullest, using both curves and thrusters to evade enemy fire. At one time, the Mako even did an ungraceful back flip from the elevated parts of the skyway to get out of the path of a rocket.

The vehicle's interior was filled by grunts and at times even suppressed screams and flailing arm gestures, as it went from one tumbling to the next. Shepard paid that no heed, instead fully focusing on the combat situation. His jaw hurt from him subconsciously clenching it so tight in concentration.

The Armatures had been dropped in quite some distance to the Mako, allowing them to fire on it along practically its entire way. Shepard returned fire, but at those distances it was a rather ineffective and indecisive exchange of fire. He was unsure whether the Mako could truly endure a battle with two of those things.

"_The last batch went south. What are they looking for?"_

That announcement from the radio pulled Shepard out of his thoughts.

"That's not one of us, is it?" he asked, and then concentrated again on the enemies in front of him.

"No," Tali answered. "It's too weak to pinpoint, but it isn't from the _Normandy_ or Zhu's Hope. Somebody is out there."

It did not matter. Shepard was now fully focused on bringing down at least one of those Armatures. With one positioned on the lower left side of the skyway and one on the elevated right side they effectively formed a barrier which the Mako needed to cross. And Shepard did not believe that both could be beaten. Or at least, it was not worth the risk.

He let a hail of machine gun and cannon fire rain down on the lower side Armature. Sparks flew from its metallic skin as it was hit by bullets, and impact marks and soot from the Mako's cannon fire soon covered it. Yet, it still stood defiantly and shot back, blocking the way for Shepard and the team. Shepard was now entirely focused on that damnable piece of machinery. _Go away, break down, vanish! _he willed. He accelerated the Mako. They had to get through those two Armatures, and a long, drawn-out fight would be disastrous. So the Commander sped up and kept the fire on the already targeted enemy unit. It had been whittled down, at least. It's metal had lost all shine, it's composure was off-balance and there even was smoke coming out at one point. It was hit, but not yet destroyed.

Shepard decided to put everything on the line. Coming nearer to the two Armatures, it was now practically impossible for the Mako to dodge their fire. Instead, he let the vehicle dart at very much near its maximum speed. An eerie quiet settled inside the Mako, as if everybody was holding their breath.

And then Shepard rushed through the two Armature's blockade. By ramming the damaged one. Steel crushed against steel, and Mako wheels fluttered helplessly in the air. For a moment Shepard lost control of his vehicle. But when it safely landed on all its wheels again, the Armature was beneath it, subdued. Several mechanical limbs had been severed from it.

Shepard accelerated again. The Mako still swerved back and forth, and nearly fell down a road fork into nothingness. All passengers were thoroughly shaken through, but the Commander could not slow down: The remaining Armature turned around, and the Mako was soon chased by a swarm of missiles. Several hit.

"All right," Shepard announced, "everybody sit tight, it's not over yet."

"Keelah!" Tali exclaimed, then gathered herself again: "Looks like a successful destruction, Commander. Shields hold. And we've got more comm chatter."

"_Any sign of movement? Lisbeth could still be in there. It's only been a few days... ...She's my daughter. I'll wait as long as I have to."_

Whoever was responsible for that comm chatter, they were damn sloppy. Such signals were usually easy enough to track down, especially for the enemy. But Shepard still had more immediate worries. The Mako had successfully fled the Armature's fire, after having climbed over a rock on the skyway, but was now facing several bipedal geth units. They were weaker, but the Commander was well aware that they still had the Armature in their back, and that the geth also still had air superiority. Shepard's team could not get into a prolonged firefight.

He rushed through the enemy lines. Some geth troopers got tossed aside by the vehicle. Others fired at it, further whittling down the shields. But Shepard kept on, and stayed at near maximum velocity.

It was a further garage which finally promised safety. The skyway was no straight road after all. It had forks, and rocks and oddly elevated sides, and apparently it also had tunnels or garages or whatever they had been when the Protheans had still been there. In any case, the so far open skyway led into such a covered passage, protected by walls, a roof and a gate door, the latter probably installed by humans. As soon as they had passed it, Shepard stopped.

"Everybody, outside!" he ordered "Tali, Garrus, see if you can close and seal the door. The others, cover them!"

Given how few experience the team members had with each other it was a marvellously executed manoeuvre. Tali and Garrus immediately found the right console to seal the door, Wrex was able to lay a very well timed suppressive fire, and Liara used her biotics to literally throw away any geth who came to near. Within minutes, the team was in relative safety.

Tali raised her omni-tool. "There's more of that comm chatter, I recorded it" she said, and had her tool displayed it: "_We got movement. Some kinda vehicle... Not one of the geth, but it has stopped. ... What's that sound? ... They're closing the door!"_

"They must be close," Garrus concluded. "Within visual and auditory range."

"Then we should find out who 'they' are," Shepard announced. "Garrus, Liara, guard the Mako. Wrex, Tali, with me."

It was not entirely clear what the tunnel might once have been. The street clearly continued here, but the walls were as thick as bunker walls, and who builds tunnels up in the highest skies, anyway? Light came from the opposite side of it, while rocks and Debris filled the ground, at times even nearly up to the roof.

Whatever it once had been, it was a surprisingly large construction. Despite the assumed proximity of whoever was out here, it took quite some time for Shepard, Tali and Wrex to make their way through all the rubble in the dim light. Shepard's face was already covered in ancient dust when they finally found a ramp leading underground, or rather to a room below the skyway. Light and voices came out of it. Human voices.

"Survivors," Wrex commented.

Shepard nodded. "Let's see how they're doing."

"Shouldn't we be focusing on the geth?" Tali asked.

"We will," Shepard promised. "But... well, we can't just so pass by a group of survivors without at least checking up on them."

The reception was however very much colder than Shepard had anticipated. Walking down the ramp, he was greeted by a man of Asian or Eurasian features and an unfortunate moustache, flailing a pistol towards his general direction.

"That's close enough," the man announced once the team had reached the bottom of the ramp. Shepard could see maybe a dozen people standing around in a large room. Crates and equipment was standing everywhere, but it all looked very provisional, or rather temporary.

An older woman of European features stood besides the man, and she said: "Relax, Jeong, they're obviously not geth."

"Get back, Juliana!" Jeong ordered and then turned to Shepard again: "Who are you? What do you want?"

"Commander Jonathan Shepard," the inquiree answered. He did not exactly like weapons being waved at him, but he could definitely understand paranoia in a siege situation. "Systems Alliance Navy and Special Tactics and Reconnaissance arm of the Citadel. Here to lift the geth siege."

"See, Jeong, you worry too much," Juliana commented, "They're here to help."

"And you trust too easily," Jeong answered. "A human Spectre? Do you really believe that? We should just wait for company support, before - "

"Ignore him," Juliana cut him off, "'The company' is all he cares about. I'm just glad to see a friendly face. Are you truly a Spectre?"

"Appointed specifically to deal with the problem of geth attacks on Traverse colonies," Shepard answered. While mostly correct, it left out most of the background, but explaining that would go too far now. "So where can I find their main base? And do you know what they are after?"

Jeong laughed. "So you want to clear them out supported by only two aliens?" He asked. "That's the most..."

"Ignore him," Juliana interrupted him again. "We have no idea what the geth are after. We certainly have found nothing of value here. Something ExoGeni is keen to remind us on."

"We need to recoup our expenses," Jeong commented, "it's nothing personal."

"So you keep saying," Juliana continued. "As for where the geth are, it's up in the ExoGeni Headquarters. Just a bit further along the skyway." She paused for a bit and then went on more quietly: "Hit them hard if you can, will you? We're the only humans left on this planet. And if..."

This time it was Shepard interrupting her, too surprised by her statement to notice that she had continued. "No, you're not" he stated, "Fai Dan and some colonists from Zhu's Hope are still alive."

Juliana was visibly taken aback by that revelation. "You said they're all dead!" she shouted at Jeong.

"I said they're _probably_ all dead!" Jeong justified himself, before turning to Shepard again "And _soldier_, those headquarters are private property. Remove the geth, and do nothing else."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. This man was beginning to annoy him. "You're not in my chain of command," he rebuffed him.

"No," Jeong admitted, "But any information there is the property of ExoGeni, and not to be touched or seen by anybody else! We have laws about such things!"

"As Spectre I stand above your tiresome property laws," Shepard replied. He had not planned to actually use his Spectre status. He still thought the whole concept was a rotten idea. However, it was far easier to pull status than to argue with Jeong. And Feros was a war zone. There really was no room for consideration of such peace time laws. _Besides, what interest would I have in any corporate secrets or whatever he is afraid I might find there?_

Shepard's answer made Jeong visibly nervous. "Just... just see that you don't do too much damage then," he demanded.

Shepard rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'll do whatever I need to do," he announced. "Anyway, Zhu's Hope is still standing, and I'll take care of that geth problem."

"Commander, before you go..." Juliana said. "My daughter, Lizbeth. She's missing..."

"They shouldn't waste time poking around," Jeong argued, "We can do a proper accounting of our causalities after the geth are gone." And with that, the man totally fell out of Shepard's favour.

"That's my daughter you're talking about!" Juliana exclaimed. "She's still alive. I know it." She breathed out. "She was working in the ExoGeni buildings when the attacks came."

"Oh, yeah, there are several places she could hide," Jeong commented. "For a short while."

Shepard shot an aggressive glance towards Jeong, and then turned to Juliana.

"I need to eliminate the geth," he said, "That's my first priority. But should I find her, I will get her out."

"Thank you, Commander," Juliana answered, "Thank you."

Shepard gave her an understanding nod and then left, followed by Tali and Wrex.

Tracing their way back, they soon were inside the Mako again and ready to go. Carefully making their way through the rubble with the vehicle they found that the street was soon impassable due to debris, but that a ramp on the left side led upwards. Maybe that had once been the purpose of this strange building, this ramp to a higher level of the skyway. It was basically a stairwell for cars, even for big, chunky cars like the Mako. And that all kilometres up in the air. Shepard felt his sense of scale and orientation suffering.

Soon that hallway let towards an open segment of the skyway again, leading straight to one of the Prothean skyscrapers – presumably the location of the ExoGeni headquarters.

"More comm signals," Tali announced, and the comm unit cracked:

"_You owe me for this. The skyway is crawling with geth._" Another voice, sounding subtly smug: "_Package is secured. We're leaving now._" And the first voice again: "_Wait! Shut down the comm! We've got incoming geth! Damn it, shut down the comm!_"

Shepard looked perplexed at Tali. "Can you localise it?" he asked.

"Too many geth jamming signals out here," Tali answered. "That didn't sound like the survivors we just met. Or like Zhu's Hope."

"It also didn't sound like they're still survivors," Wrex commented.

"How many different groups are there on this planet?" Tali exclaimed. "It's like – Incoming!"

A multitude of missiles and shots came darting through the Mako. Several geth units were stationed on the skyway, revealed now as the Mako came closer. However, as far as Shepard could see, only light units. He grinned, and accelerated. There was no need for a fight. Again the Mako bolted through enemy fire and enemy lines like a whirlstorm. Turning left and right to avoid larger pieces of debris, it hit several geth units, hurling them apart like bowling pins. The vehicle was hit several times, but the shields held. It was really nothing they had not become used to already.

They were able to leave the geth behind after passing two further gates. Shepard could not quite fathom their original purpose, gates in the middle of the skyway with nothing around them, but they served his needs just fine now.

They were now nearly at the skyscraper, and Shepard slowed the Mako down. Gradually, he drove the vehicle below a concrete porch of sorts hanging above them, towards a small entrance in the tower. Given that the company funding the colony was supposed to have had its local headquarters here, said entrance was surprisingly barren. There was a double frame that might once have held a door or a frame, but which was now only a rectangular hole in the omnipresent concrete. Rubble lay around on both sides of it.

"Enemies spotted," Tali announced. "They're definitely in there."

"Lots of them, by the sensor readings," Garrus added.

Shepard nodded and ordered: "Everybody, dismount. See if you can draw them out into the open. But stay in cover and don't be too aggressive. Let's see if we can whittle them down."

The team positioned itself, taking cover at the entrance sites or behind the Mako. Shepard opened the battle with a cannon shot into the headquarters. He focused on the sensors, trying to get a fix on geth signatures, but their jamming signals were just too strong. And visual confirmation through the entrance was difficult at best. Both sides stayed on their side of the frame, only exchanging momentary pot shots. Clearly, this was not going anywhere.

As a commanding officer in battle, Shepard was cautious. As a rule of thumb, the offensive side usually had the initiative, but the defensive side had better positions. This however did not necessarily apply once Shepard himself entered battle. He had been trained for close proximity combat, to employ both weapons and biotics to a devastating effect at close ranges. He had used that training to good effect at Elysium. And he was fairly sure he could do so again. He grinned, remembering again how trivial Feros was in comparison to Elysium.

He left the Mako and waved his team to follow him in. The entrance area of the building was perfect for him. Rubble and stones everywhere; he could move like a whirlwind from cover to cover. Backed up by his team, Shepard moved from position to position, always aggressively attacking the geth units in between, unleashing a storm of bullets and biotic dark energy. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, and he felt squarely in his element: Rushing ahead, shooting the enemy, surrounding himself with dark energy, entirely lost in the rhythm of the battle.

His shields took a few hits, but most of the time he either was in cover again or the enemy was dead before they could react. And he did not even need to consider his flanks: His team admirably took care of that, shooting down any geth that might have attacked him from the sides. He could fully concentrate on whatever was currently ahead of him.

Some geth tried to save their metallic hide by creating hexagonal barriers in front of them. At one point Shepard looked at an entire bee hive of such shields. He cursed, finding no opening between them. His shields were hit by several shots, and he dived for cover behind a particular large stone. He landed rather hard on his knees, only to get up immediately again. Resting his shotgun on the top of the stone, he took several shots at the enemy – until he noticed his shields faltering.

Several shots hit him at shoulders and arms. Immediately, he let himself fall down to a crouching position behind his cover. He let out a frustrated growl. None of the wounds were serious, nothing that could not be healed by medigel in the field already. But his offensive rush had been stopped for now.

Fortunately, his team caught up to him very fast. A geth platform was soon floating in air above him. He smiled as he attempted to take some shots at it, as much as his arms allowed. Somebody had clearly trained her biotic powers more than he had trained his.

He heard Wrex speak in his low, monotone growl: "Looks like that was the last one."

Awkwardly the Commander came onto his feet again. The ground around him and squadmates was littered by geth scrap metal. He hissed as pain from both arms stormed his nerve system at once, and reached for the medigel.

Both Tali and Liara came rushing to him. "Commander, are you okay?" Liara asked, while Tali asked: "Is everything all right?" Shepard made a vague hand gesture in the direction of both of them.

"I'm fine," he said. He felt the medigel working, and his shields were slowly recharging, too. "No lasting damage, by the feel of it."

Tali nodded and turned around again, while Liara answered in the affirmative, but still looked at him somewhat awkwardly.

"Seems like nobody else was hurt, either," Shepard continued. "Let's advance further."

That, however, was easier said than done. They soon found out that the inner parts of the buildings were completely surrounded by a geth barrier. No matter through how many corridors they walked, how many staircases they used, how many door frames they checked, there was always a blue energy field in the way. After a while it became frustrating.

"I swear, if I see _another_ blue energy field on our mission to catch Saren, I'll nuke whatever it is in to hell from orbit," he said in an annoyed voice.

"They do tend to get in our way," Tali agreed. It sounded more upbeat than before. _Maybe killing some geth has raised her morale._

"I don't think such an unsubtle approach would necessarily be wise in every circumstance," Liara commented.

Tali shook her head, but Shepard had to smile. Liara had held herself well in the combat so far, but it seemed her social awkwardness was still there. He guessed it could easily get annoying very quickly, but it also had something endearing. "Joke, Liara," he told her.

"Oh," she exclaimed, "Of course." Then a small smile played around her lips and she said: "I will get used to it, Commander, I promise."

Shepard smiled again. He had talked with her a day after her recruitement. She had told him about his upbringing, her relationship with Benezia and her work as archaeologist. One reason she had chosen her profession was that she was not so good around people. Already back then Shepard's jokes had just flown over her head. But judging by her comment she was maybe not completely humourless.

They walked along an entire series of door frames all blocked by the same blue glow, until they reached a staircase again.

"Commander?" called Garrus' voice from below, "is that you? I think I've found something."

This 'something' turned out to be a hole in the ground, and what might be a tunnel leading away from it. It did not look spectacular at all, but rather small and crammed - but there was no blue glow emitting from it, nothing to block their way.

"Going down this hole might be possible," Tali commented, "but I don't think climbing out again is feasible. It's a one way drop."

Shepard pondered the issue. Normally he would not have bet everything on one card, but it was not like his team had lots of option. They could not request reinforcements; there was no second Mako in the colony to traverse the skyway, and even with one it had been difficult enough. He also doubted they had any equipment on the _Normandy_ to deal with those energy fields. Either they found a way to disable or destroy the field from the inside, or the whole mission could well turn into a disaster.

"We have no choice," he summarised his thoughts. "It's do or die. Come on, then."

Shepard began to carefully slide down a steep rocky slope, trying to avoid gaining too much momentum. He managed to stumble down without falling, hopefully in a somewhat graceful manner. Then again, everybody else in his team managed that, too – even Wrex. The krogan was just too sturdy, with too low a barycentre to get out of balance. However, he would probably not manage to climb up those rocks again. Shepard looked upwards, along the walls of the hole. No, there was only going forwards now.


	8. Ch8: Feros II: ExoGeni

Light fell onto Shepard's team from above. They had descended a hole in the ground to find a way into the interior of the skyscraper, a tower ExoGeni had first used as local headquarters and which now was the planetary main base of the geth. The synthetics had covered the interior of the building with an impenetrable force field, which so far had frustrated Shepard's advance. However, while every corridor, stairway and room seemed to eventually end in a blue-glowing field, the hole led to a tunnel without such, a way around the energy field.

The tunnel seemed to go straight through what once must have been a prothean wall, its sides clearly not constructed but cut. Eventually, it opened into a large, longdrawn hall. It seemed to be similar to the "garages" they had seen before, with a sort of road in a lower position in the middle, but it was in a much worse state of decay than Zhu's Hope's garage. Not only was it full of rubble like everywhere here, it also had several fires burning at different locations. And varren, or at least a varren cadaver. Carefully, Shepard approached it, wanting to take a closer look. Had it fallen to the geth, too? It looked like a fresh shot, so were maybe geth nearby? He went down to one knee to take a closer look when a shot grazed his shields. Immediately, all his team members raised their weapons.

"Damn it!" a female voice could be heard.

Shepard stood up again, and saw a young woman approaching. She wore the same kind of ExoGeni uniform most people in Jeong's refugee camp had worn. She held a pistol in front of her. However, her voice was meek and insecure when she spoke again.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "I thought you were geth, or one of those varren."

"Are you Lizbeth?" Shepard asked. "Juliana's daughter?"

"I... I'm Elizabeth Baynham, yes," she answered, finally lowering her weapon. "Have you... have you met my mother? Is she still alive?"

Shepard nodded. "She is with some others from the headquarters, at the way point station on the skyway."

"Oh thank god," Lizbeth breathed out. Her voice was near breaking, and even her knees seemed to give in for a moment. "She's alive. I thought I was the only one left."

"No," Shepard answered. "Zhu's Hope is still standing as well. But tell me, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, it's my own fault," Lizbeth sighed in response, "Everyone else was running and I stayed back to back up data. Next thing I knew, the geth ship latched on and the power went out. I was trapped. I tried to get out, but the way was blocked."

"The geth have docked a ship to this tower as well?" Shepard asked. "Just how many vehicles did they bring to this planet?"

"I can't say," Lizbeth answered, "but it's definitely still here. I think that is where they get the power for that energy field they've put up here. I've noticed they're laying power cables everywhere, and they seem to lead to the ship. They have us trapped here, they don't want anyone else getting access to the... to the, well..."

"To the what?" Shepard inquired, forcefully and to a degree even aggressively. He had quite enough of ExoGeni people blocking him.

"I-I don't know for certain," Lizbeth stumbled out an answer, "but 'm guessing they're here for the Thorian. It's an indigenous lifeform. ExoGeni was studying it."

"And what interest would the geth have in it?" Shepard asked. "What is it exactly, anyway?"

"I don't know," Lizbeth answered. "I think it's some kind of plant being. I know it's very old, thousands of years even. But I don't know why the geth would have any interest in it. ExoGeni was studying it, yes, but I don't think they found anything interesting." She paused and then added: "Maybe... maybe I can do some inquiries on it, but not with the geth crawling around everywhere. We need to get out of here, past the field."

"And the most direct way seems to be an attack on a geth ship," Shepard commented. "Even if a grounded geth ship. Great, just great."

"Here, take my ID card," Lizbethsaid, "it will open you any locked doors. And maybe you'll... ah, well, you might find something in the labs here. About the Thorian. But be careful, the geth are really everywhere."

Tali spoke up, determination in her voice: "They haven't been able to stop us so far."

Shepard smiled. Shooting geth seemed to definitely have raised her morale. And she was right, of course. "You search some safe spots down here," he told Lizbeth, "I'll see if I can disable that energy field, and then we bring you to your mother."

"Looking forwards to it," Lizbeth answered and even managed a small, ironic laugh, "In the meanwhile, I'll just find a small hole to hide in. Good luck to you."

The garage proved to be one long gallery of destruction. As the team walked along it, they saw it covered in debris and fires, with several packs of varren sitting or walking among them. All growled when in sight; some came too close and hot to be shot, but the majority had the good sense to stay away from them.

It took a while for them to find a staircase leading upwards, towards the offices and small laboratories of ExoGeni. Most of those consisted of some furniture and equipment crammed into the desolate rooms of the ruins, with little décor and with even the rubble only removed as much as necessary. _Whoever set up this dependence must have been a hell of a miser. _It was actually somewhat eerie, to find human belongings here, among the vastness of ever more bland concrete, standing among debris and dust.

They searched several of the rooms, finding nothing more than datapads and other office materials. Not even geth were here. Eventually, they came across one of their power cables and followed itt. It led them through further corridors and stairs, but at least they still encountered no geth.

They ended up on a catwalk that overlooked a large hall. Shepard stopped at the entrance to it and raised his hand, signalling his team to halt. Two monstrous metallic machines loomed over the room from the opposite wall, both connected to a huge amount of cables and tubes, entangled in such a mess that made them look like tentacles springing forth from a monster.

"It's the geth ship," Tali, who was right behind Shepard, commented with a subdued voice,"they use those claws to anchor their ships at the side of buildings."

"And to power their field," Shepard answered, likewise quiet, as geth could be nearby. "Is there any way to cut the power?"

"It will be difficult," Tali answered. "I don't think we have the necessary equipment. We can check the claws for weaknesses, but the geth are very thorough."

Shepard nodded and signalled his team to advance slowly and carefully. After the battle against the krogan mercenary on Therum he had taught his entire 'Spectre entourage' Alliance Navy hand signs. In hindsight, it was such an obvious thing to do, to unify communication codes, that the Commander even felt a bit abashed about not having done so earlier.

The team dispersed itself over the length of the catwalk. Wrex, as the toughest fighter, guarded the stairs, while the rest looked down over the railing. Geth were assembled down there, in between the two claws. They were kneeling, a gesture Shepard so far had never seen with any other geth unit he so far had encountered. Specifically, they were kneeling in the direction of a glowing orb. It looked almost like... _prayer? Do geth pray?_

Shepard pushed that thought aside. Interesting as it was, it also was irrelevant to the mission. "Fire!" he ordered, and began shooting himself. The geth did not stand a chance. Caught in a surprise attack from a broad front, most units were down before they could even put up only a minimal amount of resistance. Some units managed a counter-fire, but it was unaimed and ineffective. The whole battle was pretty one-sided. _Just as battles should be. The ideal battle is one where the enemy has no chance._

However, the geth ship's claws and central cables proved to be tougher than the geth platforms. With their equipment at hand there was no way to even significantly damage them. Shepard wished for a good amount of explosives, but of course there were none around. Frustrated, he searched the room and watched the claws for several minutes, nervously pacing up and down. He came to a halt near the glowing orb, where the geth had knelled. Metal rods had been placed around it.

"This thing looks almost like a small chapel, doesn't it?" he asked.

"It's an almost peaceful place," Garrus, who stood nearby, commented. "But do you really think the geth were using it for religious purposes?"

Tali was walking towards them, and answered: "The geth do show some characteristics usually associated with organic life. It is natural to assume that seeking understanding from a higher power may be among those characteristics."

Shepard pondered that for a short while. It seemed the geth were more alike to organic life than he had assumed, even though Tali probably would never formulate it that way. He wondered if they could also be brought to making the same common mistakes in battle as organics. Not that it was really relevant right now.

"Did you find anything we could use to sever those claws, or the cables?" he asked the quarian.

"No," she replied. "Nothing we have brought along would do more than scratch them.."

"Suggestions?" Shepard prompted.

"There is a second pair of claws," Tali answered. "It should be above this one. We only need to find a way to damage a single claw to leave the entire ship off-balance, so our best chance is to keep looking for weaknesses."

"All right," Shepard agreed, "let's move out of here."

He was only too glad, too. The toughness of the claws frustrated him, and the geth 'chapel' made him feel uneasy. _What would geth pray to anyway? Higher powers, but which ones?_ Contemplating a potential AI god left a bitter mental aftertaste.

The team continued their way, as silently and carefully as possible. They walked in a single file, Shepard in front and Wrex at the rear, and everybody tried to cover as much space with their respective weapon as possible. While this displayed sound military professionalism, in the end it proved to be futile. They managed to find a stairwell leading them straight upwards, and not a single geth unit appeared to block their way.

The stairs led to a longdrawn hall not dissimilar to the one they had just left, but much larger. Peering around the corner, Shepard could see several computers and electronics in the room, by the looks of it both human and geth designs. Massive claws were in one of the long walls, and like in the room below several tubes and cabled led from them. Most immediately important was that stairs to a catwalk were near the entrance.

Shepard waved his team to advance to the catwalk, which they did as soundlessly as they could manage. Surprisingly, even Wrex managed that very well. His weight and stature did not lend themselves to sneaking, but Shepard suspected the krogan had accumulated enough expertise during his centuries of mercenary work.

Going up the stairs, Shepard looked at the claws. They looked just as invulnerable as the ones they had just left. Noticing the Commander's sight, Tali commented quietly: "Same as before. We have neither the tools nor the ordinance to deal with those claws. But this room looks like the geth set up a laboratory. Maybe we will find somethi... – they have spotted us!"

Several units below them turned around and opened fire, and eventually they had the attention of all geth in the room. The team took up positions along the catwalk to return fire. Only Wrex stormed downwards the stairs to meet the enemy in close quarters. Without much thinking, Shepard walked down some stairs, jumped over the railing and joined the krogan. If they let the geth pin them down into a corner, this could only end badly.

Shepard worried how the anchored ship might intervene in the battle, but soon he did not think of anything any more. Again, he fell into a kind of fugue. It was very easy not to think while in battle. Shooting, running, shooting, unleashing biotic warps, shooting, going in cover, running, shooting, again seeking cover – it was almost an automaticism. Shepard surrounded himself with a deadly aura of bullets and dark energy. And Wrex even exceeded his actions, storming head on against geth, at times even entering physical close combat.

The geth did manage to build up a viable defence. As much as Shepard and Wrex were both in their element, they often were blocked by enemy fire, or hit themselves. However, even though the Commander had not consciously planned for that, the geth soon found themselves in a hammer and anvil situation. If they turned their direction to the catwalk, Shepard and Wrex would hit them hard from the side; but if they turned against them, the other team members could shoot at them from above. Thus, even geth barriers proved to be of little value in this crossfire.

Several units also ended up lifted into the air or thrown around by dark energy. The enemy had numerical superiority, but was thus thrown into deep disarray, by the crossfire, by biotics and by Shepard's and Wrex' charge. The most problematic geth were three light units who had found a good cover, from which they were needling and hitting Wrex and Shepard throughout the entire combat. However, the next time the Commander shot a glance towards them, they were involved in a firefight of their own, two against one. Confused, he looked up to the catwalk, wanting to see if others had observed that, too. Tali raised her omni-tool in salute, and Liara besides her smiled.

The battlefield cleared, and Garrus, Tali and Liara soon came down from the catwalk to join Shepard and Wrex again.

"You look hurt," Tali said to Wrex. Shepard had not taken time to notice it before, but she was right: His insane charges into enemy numbers had taken its toll. "You should apply medi-gel."

"I'm fine," Wrex replied gruffly. "This will heal on its own."

Tali nodded, apparently accepting this as sufficient response. As did Shepard; the krogan after all had centuries of experience, he would knew when medical attention was needed and when not.

"It looks like the geth took over an ExoGeni lab," Garrus commented.

Shepard nodded, taking a closer view of his surroundings. It was clear the room must have served as laboratory for ExoGeni, as it was filled with various electronics. But between them the geth had put their own terminals, and they also seemed to have tried to gain access to the human computers, as shown by several geth cables leading to them.

"I wonder what the geth were researching here," Tali said, "Part of it even looks like a containment lab."

"In any case, a lab should be full of data," Shepard summarised, "maybe we will find something that will help us against that ship. Tali, do you think you can secure the geth terminals?"

"It's difficult," she replied, "but manageable."

"Good," Shepard said, "then you do that and Garrus, you secure the human terminals." A grin appeared on his face. "The rest of us will, ah, cover you. That's a very important part, too, after all."

"What would the galaxy ever do without you biotics," Tali commented dryly, and then began to work.

The terminals proved to be a veritable treasure dove of information. The data gleaned from the human electronics was plentiful, but not very useful. Most of it detailed administrative decisions and shipments from and to Feros. The most interesting data was information about a deal some ExoGeni employees had apparently done with a group named "Cerberus". On the other hand, decryptable geth data was rare, but some of its information was explosive – like the plans to establish outposts for an invasion of Citadel space in the Armstrong Cluster. This news really shocked and excited Shepard; it was an enemy measure to be countered quickly and decisively.

It was, however, not the most shocking information to be found in the room.

"Ah, Commander?" Garrus called while Shepard was still going through the geth data about their operations in the Armstrong Cluster. He turned and walked towards the turian.

"I've managed to activate this VI here, but it will only give out informations to ExoGeni employees," Garrus explained, "you still have Baynham's ID, I think?"

Shepard nodded, and began to inquire the Virtual Intelligence. Apparently, the geth had tried the same, but failed, so Shepard began by asking about the geth's inquiries. It turned out they had been about the Thorian, or "Species 37" as the VI called it. For that reason now Shepard asked about it, and what ExoGeni knew about it.

And what he learned left him absolutely disgusted, shocked, angry. He clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth, and his breath became harder and more ragged. There was a great evil on this planet, but it were not the geth. It was not even the Thorian. It was ExoGeni.

"We need to find this lying, manipulating Baynham snake right now," he spat out, but was interrupted by Tali:

"Commander Shepard? I think I have found a way to damage the geth ship."

Shepard slowly breathed in and out, and willed himself to calm down. They still had a job to do. Afterwards he would be free to give in to his anger. He looked forwards to that.

He again breathed out slowly to regain a steady voice, and replied: "What is it, Tali?"

"Look at the message at this console," she said, "apparently one of the shuttle doors the geth ship has used to put a claw through is faulty."

Shepard sighed and came to look. If Tali thought this was a way to finish their job, then she probably knew what she was talking about. The console was part of a larger terminal, standing in one of the corners in the back. It probably was not part of the laboratory devices, but rather seemed to be a control unit, so far overlooked.

"The safety mechanism of the door is faulty," Tali explained, "If we can get it to close with just the right amount of power, then the mechanism will not stop it. Even though the door will at so much power tear through steel. Sounds like just what we need."

For once, Shepard was pleasantly surprised. That seemed like just the lucky break they needed.

"I have set up a configuration," Tali went on, "You just need to start the process."

Shepard grinned. "And that might cut off the claw?" he asked.

"And probably lead to the geth ship falling down," Tali confirmed, bile in her voice. She was obviously looking forwards to see geth falling to their death.

"Then I think you should have the honour," Shepard said.

Tali nodded, and pressed some buttons. A screeching sound came from the middle of the hall, and where the claws where anchored, and then an explosion could be heard: One claw had been severed, The ground and the entire tower vibrated, as the geth ship slid downwards. The three remaining claws seemed unable to hold its weight. Further explosions could be heard from afar as those other claws either snapped back from the building or were also severed, by the ship's own weight. Finally, the vibrations entered, and after a moment a far away sound of crashing metal could be heard – the ship had violently reached the rubble filled bottom of the planet.

Shepard was still grinning, now triumphantly. "Well done," he told Tali.

"I just hope that ship was full of them," Tali commented with a hate-laced voice.

Before Shepard could answer to that, the comm activated itself, a clear sign that the geth field, which so far had also blacked all communications, was now down.

Lieutenant Alenko's voice could be heard: "Ground Team Two to Ground Team One. Are you reading? Commander? I repeat: Ground Team Two to Ground Team One, please respond."

"We hear you, Lieutenant," Shepard answered. "Sorry, we had been jammed before."

"We have a serious situation here, Commander," Alenko explained. "Something happened to the colonists. They've begun hostilities with us, for no discernable reason. We've been able to hole ourselves up in one of the prefabs, but I don't know how long we can hold here. Or whether we should try to make a run for the _Normandy_."

"We know what happened to them," Shepard replied. "Just sit tight. They have no military-grade weapons, they should be no danger to you. Don't harm the colonists unless absolutely necessary, they're under some kind of alien mind control. Hard as that may be to believe."

"Not any more," Alenko answered. "But some of the marines here seriously see the colonists as a threat. Given that the colonists have completely surrounded us, and obviously have aggressive intentions, I can't blame them."

"Remind them of their oaths," Shepard ordered. "We servicemen and marines have sworn to protect humanity, and those people are still part of it. It's... well, it's just not their fault. No worry, we're on our way back. Just hold your position. And good luck to you."

"Aye-aye, Commander," Alenko confirmed. "Good luck to you, too. Ground Team Two out."

Shepard turned towards his team: "The destruction of their ship will have gotten the geth's attention. They'll soon flock to here like..." 'Like moths to the light' he had wanted to say, but he was unsure if making such similes would be wise in a crew of aliens "...like mad. We need to get out of here, fast. But before, we'll save and download as much of the ExoGeni data as possible. That company is going down!"

Since access had been established to every ExoGeni terminal in the room already, it was a simple and quick task. Thousands of files were downloaded, and would require detailed insight later on, but some of the already viewed files made sense now: The research project on Nodacrux, probably dealing with the Thorian. Or the deal with that 'Cerberus' group. He would have to check both after leaving Feros.

Afterwards, the group rushed to get outside again. Their sensors showed geth closing in to them, but fortunately from rather large distances. They would make it if they hurried, and so they hurried, weapons drawn and ready. Despite their haste, they remained observative, and Shepard especially was looking for geth in every shadow.

A humanoid shape appeared in a door frame in front of them. Shepard raised his pistol – but recognised Elizabeth Baynham before he could fire.

"There you are!" she exclaimed. "We should get out of here, I don't think..."

She stopped when Shepard raised his weapon again, aiming right at her. Her face became pale.

"You lied to me" Shepard hissed. Pouring everything he had found out about ExoGeni's relationship to the Thorian into his anger, he continued: "You knew! You knew about how the people from Zhu's Hope were abused. You knew how the Thorian releases spores, spores people breathe in. You knew how the spores are mind-controlling people, and you knew about how they condition people with pain. And more even, ExoGeni was studying it!" He went on in a mock-documentary voice: "The Zhu's Hope test group has yielded interesting results. Within 21 days, 58% of the colonists exhibited altered behaviour. Within 28 days, before the sensors went offline, almost 85% of the test group were infected." He came threateningly close to Elizabeth. "You enslaved over a thousand of colonists, had them go through horrifying pains while they were indoctrinated, all for your sick science projects!"

At that point, Lizbeth was trembling with fear, and near tears. "But I... I wanted to stop those tests!" She replied, in a weak but pleading voice. "I wanted... wanted to help those people." Her voice grew even quieter. "But they threatened me. Told me I'd be next." Again, pleading: "That's why I stayed behind when the geth arrived. I... I wanted to send a message to Colonial Affairs. About what happened here, about what ExoGeni was doing! The power cut before I could send the message."

That left Shepard stunned. He had so wanted to find an outlet for his rage, to find somebody to accuse of what ExoGeni had done – so much that his judgement appeared to have suffered.

"I just looked through the downloaded data about her" Tali spoke up quietly, in a neutral voice "When the geth hit, she officially was on probation for her protests regarding the treatment of the infected colonists."

That made sense. As did her reasoning of why she was still here when the geth struck. And she had hinted the team might find 'something' in the laboratories. Shepard's stature slumped together a bit. He breathed out, and said: "I... I'm sorry. I... Well, I guess it's unfair for me to expect of others to go against all odds. I'm a Spectre, I stand above the law. But of course, not everybody is. Seems like you did what you could, and... well, that even at great personal risk. I... well, I'm sorry. I so wanted to find a target to accuse, but you're clearly not it."

"No," Lizbeth answered weakly. "I did help to create this whole mess. I protested, eventually, but way too late. Maybe I did what I could, but it was not enough. So let me help you, please."

Seeing her so almost broken, Shepard's entire emotional disposition changed from rage to pity. Or rather, the rage was still there, but in the background now, waiting for new targets. "Okay," he agreed, "then tell me where the Thorian is."

"Just before the geth attacked, a central nerve bundle was discovered, probably _the _centre of the creature" Lizbeth reported. "It's directly beneath Zhu's Hope, but the entrance is blocked. The colonists covered it with a freighter just before the attack."

Shepard remembered that freighter, its surviving crew reduced to one. That would explain why she had not yet tried to leave – she was also already under the Thorian's control. "Smart move," he commented, "I wonder if the Thorian thought of that itself, or whether its thralls do the thinking."

"ExoGeni could never fully find out whether it's sentient or not," Lizbeth answered.

"In any case, that's where we have to go now, freighter or not," Shepard said. "Of course with a stop in between where your mother is. Your mother... and Jeong. Yes, that oughta be interesting." He grinned, the grin of a wolf stalking its prey. He would find the legitimate target for his anger soon enough.

The group made their way through the building, Shepard determined, Liara slightly shocked by what had happened, Lizbeth gloom, and the other aliens somewhere in between. Shepard still had trouble reading turian and krogan facial expression, and Tali's face could not be seen at all. When they were leaving the tower, Shepard saw that the Mako was still standing where he had left it.

"Engaging my suit's anti-nausea medication now." Tali commented just as she has reached the vehicle. "Most likely, it will be needed."

"I wish I had such a suit!" Liara exclaimed, "Such medication sounds practical when Shepard is driving." Then she thought for a moment, and ruined her attempt at humour by continuing: "That is, not that I want to make light of your people's fate or call the necessity for suits a good thing..."

Tali, as earlier, just shook her head.

"It's made worse by the fact we will have to find a place for Baynham," Garrus commented. "All seats are already occupied."

They ended up positioning Lizbeth between Garrus and Liara in the second seat row, partly occupying the edges of both seats. It was probably not very comfortable at all, but it would have to do.

Getting past the remaining geth on the skyway proved to be no problem at all. The Mako's interior were soon filled with Lizbeth's shrieks, as she was less militarily disciplined as the others and had not yet experienced Shepard's driving style, but actually it was a very much softer and smoother ride then on the way towards the ExoGeni building.

Entering the way station where the ExoGeni refugees had sought refuge, and driving down its large ramp, the Mako caught further comm chatter: "_...anyone. Is there anybody picking this up?" – "Get away from that radio!" – "This is Juliana Baynham of Feros Colony. Please, help us." _The transmission ended in static.

"That's my mom!" Lizbeth exclaimed. Shepard nodded. _And the other voice is Jeong. I wonder what's going on down there. _"Stop the Rover, stop!" Lizbeth continued once they had reached the end of the ramp, "I need to get to her!"

She tried to jump out of the Mako as soon as Shepard had brought it to a halt near the survivors' location, but was held up by Garrus, over whom she tried to climb.

"Careful," Garrus cautioned. "We don't know what is happening there." The turian seemed to have come to the same conclusions as Shepard.

Together, the group left the Mako, and made their way down to the survivors' shelter. Already at the top of the ramp towards it they heard shouting.

"You can't do that, Jeong!" That was Juliana's voice.

Jeong's voice responded: "Everyone shut up! Ah... let me think!"

"You won't get away with that." Again, Juliana. By that time, Shepard's team had passed half the ramp, and could see the scene before them. Jeong was nervously pacing around, while Juliana observed him constantly with a hostile view.

"Get her out of here!" Jeong demanded, and an ExoGeni guard grabbed Juliana, just as Shepard had reached the bottom of the ramp. Jeong whirled around, facing the Spectre. "Hah, Shepard," he said, "Damn it."

He was interrupted by Lizbeth darting forth towards her mother, and towards the guard holding her mother. "Get away from her you son of a bitch!" she screamed. Surprised, the guard let his attention down, allowing Juliana to wiggle herself away and come running towards Juliana. They ended up in a tight embrace.

Meanwhile, the other guards were not happy to see six heavily armed persons entering their domain, and weapons were raised by both sides. Tension was in the air. The company guards outnumbered Shepard's team, at a quick glance he counted eight or nine of them, but they were probably not nearly as well equipped.

Jeong looked at the mother-daughter reunion with distaste and then turned towards Shepard again: "Damn it. I knew it was too much to hope the geth would kill you. I found..."

"Shut up, Jeong," Shepard interrupted him, and raised his weapon. He let his anger out unconstrained. "You let hundreds be enslaved in the Zhu's Hope colony. You let them go through all this pain, so that ExoGeni could have a mind control substance. This ends here."

"What?" Juliana exclaimed.

"There's a plant life form beneath the colony," Lizbeth explained. "It has taken control of the colonists through its spores, and ExoGeni knew all along!"

"And now they want to kill them all," Juliana said.

"What?" Shepard asked, and then made some threatening steps towards Jeong. "Explain yourself," he hissed. He channelled dark energy through his hands, creating a blue aura, to strengthen the effect.

"Co- Communications are back up again," Jeong explained. "ExoGeni wants this place purged."

Rage raced through Shepard. ExoGeni was willing to have hundreds killed, to do the work the geth had not been able to do, just to cover their tracks. _Just to cover their sorry arses. _ He was not about to let that happen. He focused his rage into determination, and a clear mind.

"Tali," he ordered, "secure the communication terminal. Especially that 'purge' order. Garrus - does your visor have recording capabilities?"

"Uh... yes, Commander", the turian answered, somewhat surprised.

"Start them now and let them keep running," Shepard commanded. "The rest – if any of those guards move only a hair width – shoot them down like rabid dogs."

The guards looked at each other, insecure. They had decent weapons, but their armours seemed to be of below average quality, by the looks of it, and they probably had only weak shields at best. Maybe they could have won such a confrontation, but only at high causalities. And corporate guards were not exactly known for their zeal. One guard tried to move forwards a bit, but Shepard saw that immediately. In a quick movement he positioned a warning shot mere centimetres away from the guard's feet. Afterwards, the whole unit stayed in place.

"You don't understand," Jeong pleaded, "The Thorian is much more valuable than a few colonists. And ExoGeni needs to cover up the story. The company is essential to human space colonisation!"

So far, Shepard had been able to keep his anger focused, towards a clear goal. But Jeong's comment brought him on the brink of losing self-control. His fingers itched, and he longed to shoot him, or at least punch him in the face.

"Data secured," Tali announced from the communication terminal.

Juliana smiled triumphantly. "See, Jeong, you won't get away with that!" she said.

"So you keep saying," Jeong answered. "But nobody's going to miss a few colonists."

"Nobody's going to miss you either," Shepard said, voice turned to ice. And shot.

It was almost an automatic, subconscious action. Anger had overwhelmed him. In the last moment he managed to turn his weapon downwards, and the shot ended up piercing through Jeong's left leg. Jeong cried out and fell down. The ExoGeni guards raised their weapons, but so did Shepard and his team. The stand-off was ended when one guard began to lower her weapon again. Following that, the guards' morale seemed to crumble, and they all lowered their weapons. Some even made placatory hand gestures.

"Liara, Tali, disarm the guards" Shepard commented. "As for you, Ethan Jeong – under my authority, vested into me by the Citadel Council as part of their Special Tactics and Reconnaissance arm, I hereby arrest you for slavery and bodily injury on several hundred counts, and for conspiracy to mass murder." He shot an aggressive glance to the various guards, who at the moment let themselves be disarmed. "By right, I should arrest all of you as well. You were all ready to take part in a mass murder, an _atrocity_, and I _will_ make sure this gets widely known. You're scum. But there'll be enough trouble transporting this snivelling weasel already." He lightly kicked Jeong for demonstration, who was down on the floor, holding his leg and whimpering.

"Was that necessary?" Juliana asked.

"It's only the beginning," Shepard answered. "He's a small fish. He was ready to execute an order for mass murder, so he must be punished. But somebody sent that order, and I'll find that man or woman, too!"

"What do you plan to do?" Juliana inquired, looking uncomfortably back and forth between the Commander and Jeong.

"Gather enough evidence to have ExoGeni convicted," Shepard answered. "Or at least release the information and have ExoGeni going down that way."

Jeong's whimpering grew louder at that, but Shepard ignored it. However, Juliana, too, was aghast: "This colony is dependent on ExoGeni!" she exclaimed. "We need them!"

"Yeah, and look how that turned out for you," Shepard replied sarcastically. "They were ready to kill hundreds, and must be taken to responsibility for it."

"Besides," Lizbeth chimed in, "the colony is still infected. With or without ExoGeni, something needs to be done about that."

"Can something be done about it?" Shepard asked. He felt victorious, but for once did not like the feeling. With a bleeding, whimpering man at his feed the victory tasted hollow. Despite all his best intentions, despite his resolutions when he had become Spectre, despite his argument with Garrus, he had definitely been too brutal. His self-control had been insufficient. So while he felt the victory now, he did not like that. Probably he was simply coming down from his emotional high, from the rush of hormones. Thus he was glad that he could occupy himself now with another problem.

"If you kill the Thorian, it might be enough to stop the infection." Lizbeth answered, but then her voice became meeker: "Maybe. It depends... the spores would eventually be passed through the colonists' metabolisms, and in the meanwhile there would be no central control unit to take charge of the spores."

"Makes sense," Shepard answered, rubbing his chin. "So, it's worth a try. But those colonists will defend the creature now like bees their queen, no?"

"Yes," Lizbeth confirmed, "but there _has_ to be another way, besides killing them to clear the way!"

"Maybe there is," Juliana said, "I think there's a way to neutralise the colonists without killing them."

The conversation felt somewhat weird to Shepard. He knew it was an important topic to be discussed, but he was all to aware of all the now disarmed guards standing around, watching him. And Jeong still lay to his feet. Yet, this all was ignored. Naturally, since saving the colonists was so important. However, it still felt weird.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked.

"The insecticides we use in the gro-labs contains trace amounts of Tetraclopine, a neuromuscular degenerator" Juliana began to explain. "If the colonists' nervous systems are already weakened, it may act as a paralysing agent."

"Right, and are we suppose to inject every colonist with that?" Shepard asked.

"It could be released in gas form," Lizbeth said, "Maybe stored within grenades. Your team confiscated a large amount from the guards which could be used. To a healthy neural system, the Tetraclopine will be no danger, while it may just be enough to knock the infected out."

"It would be easy enough to modify the grenades," Garrus commented. "Probably won't even take a single standard hour."

"Still, it sounds dodgy," Shepard said, "But if it will save the colonists I will definitely try it."

...

**Starting with the next chapter, the story rating will be raised to M. Nothing bad, just to be on the safe side. Just as warning that after next chapter you won't find the story in the K-T rating setting. **


	9. Ch9: Feros III: The Thorian

Refilling the available grenades with tetraclopine was an annoyingly repetitive but easy work. It proceeded quickly, as Garrus had predicted. The team had sequestrated a table in the survivors' shelter for that purpose, and now he, Tali and Liara were busy creating hopefully non-lethal weapons against the infected colonists. The human survivors were dispersed in the room, and most had nothing better to do than to watch them. Especially the guards. Tali and Liara had taken their weapons away, and now they were eyeing the non-humans with anger and suspicion. Liara was visibly affected by that, but to Tali it didn't matter. The crammed conditions aboard the Flotilla ships had immunised her from feeling awkward under the eyes of others, even of former hostiles. She fully focused on doing her work.

However, those events had not left her totally unmoved. There was the strike they had landed against the geth, lifting the siege and destroying an entire ship. Both had been greatly satisfying, making Feros a more pleasant trip than she originally anticipated. And there was the issue of ExoGeni and the Thorian. Tali had seen how the Commander had descended into a righteous fury upon hearing the facts, and in dealing with ExoGeni. The corporation, as she had found out from the downloaded data, was one of the largest in human space, making it also one of the most powerful human groups in general. Furthermore, they truly seemed instrumental and necessary for further human expansion. Yet Shepard seemed to have little qualms going against them.

Apparently he did not believe, like she did, in an inevitably hostile and unfair universe, but rather would move heaven and hell to change that. A part of her found that stubborn and wasteful, given the low odds of success. But it also appealed to another part of her. It was a grand idea, unconstrained by such things as the necessities of the Fleet or the doctrines of her father, the little details she had had to observe all her life so far. And if somebody could pull it off, it was Shepard. She had seen him in battle, shooting and tossing aside geth platforms.

_He may not have much of a sense of duty, but he has an inspiring sense of justice. I wonder if this will work out._

She was still cross with him about how he had attacked quarian traditions. However, she began to suspect that, contrary to what she had assumed at first, it had not been a way to target specifically her species and their traditions. Rather, Shepard seemed to go against everybody and everything. Even the Council, as she had witnessed.

Wrex approached the table. He had previously carried away the injured Ethan Jeong, who had been shot in the leg and arrested by Shepard. Now, he took one of the grenades into his hands, and contemplated it.

"A new challenge in combat," he commented, "Might be fun. It'll certainly give the battle a new flavour."

"How is Jeong?" Liara asked. She had been the only one in the team to have been truly shocked by the Commander's actions.

"Bound and gagged," Wrex replied "Got him some medigel, too. Shepard had already shown him more mercy than I would have, but he insisted on it. Even though our reserves are stretched."

"That's good to hear" Liara said visibly relieved.

"Too bad the Commander got to have all the action," Wrex continued, "He made a great show out of it, though."

"I don't think policing procedures should be turned into a show," Garrus commented, with some hostility in his voice "and I think Commander Shepard agrees. Given the circumstances, he kept it to a minimum."

"But it was fun watching him shout," Wrex said.

_That it was indeed. _There was something about Shepard in all his righteous fury and glory – it was indeed a spectacle to watch. "Where is the Commander?" she asked.

"Outside," Wrex answered, "Pacing around. Thinking, I assume, but I don't know about what."

Tali wondered what could occupy Shepard's mind. _He's the commanding officer in a mission against an unknown, planet spanning and maybe sentient plant. And yet he wants to save the plant's thralls. That's quite a bit to think about._

After they were finished, Garrus, Wrex, Liara and Tali equipped themselves with as many grenades as they could carry, and transported the rest to the Mako. They could understand now why Jeong had been gagged, even so he constantly tried to gain their attention by subdued sounds. Shepard ignored him, and started the vehicle again.

Compared to their crossing of the skyway in the opposite direction, it was a very uneventful ride. Still, a tangible nervousness was in the air. Nobody cherished the thought that they would have to fight against the colonists of Zhu's Hope. Shepard looked especially grim, as Tali noticed, his face almost as if set in stone. She knew he cared deeply about saving as many people as possible. Now he would fight for the lost.

They arrived at Zhu's Hope's garage with little trouble. However, the garage door would not open for them. Shepard brought the vehicle to a halt.

"This seems like the work of the Thorian," Liara commented. "The colonists are trying to keep us outside."

"We should be able to override the close order," Garrus assured.

Taking it as a cue for her, as the technology proficient member of the team besides the turian, Tali dismounted from the Mako and made her way to the terminal outside the garage door, together with Garrus. Something caught the ex-agent's attention, though, and he turned around. Following his gaze, Tali could see something moving. At first she thought it was a stone, but rather it was a creature unfolding itself and coming to its feet. It looked very distantly similar to a human, or rather like a cruel caricature of a human. It seemed to consist only of stone-grey and brown muscles, all wrangled and dried up. The creature's eye sockets were empty, and its fingers were fused into hideous, long claws. It also seemed to have more joints than a human, making it move in unnatural ways.

"Commander, do you see that?" Garrus asked. He obviously tried to keep his voice even, but could not hide a certain trembling.

The creature came running forwards, charging right towards Tali and Garrus.

"It's hostile!" Tali shouted.

Both the turian and the quarian let themselves fall back some steps and began firing. Both were nervous, and their accuracy suffered under it. Only a few shots hit the creature – but that was enough that it splattered in the most spectacular fashion, releasing a sickly yellow liquid, and leaving behind yellow dust in the air.

Shepard came running out of the Mako. "What the hell is that?" he asked.

While Tali was still recovering from her shock, attempting to formulate an answer, Liara joined the group and said: "It looked distantly human."

"It wasn't," Garrus replied certainly "When we last were here most colonists were already infected. This isn't a result of infection, and I doubt anything could change human biochemistry so quickly that they'd bleed yellow."

"The Thorian has brought in reinforcements," Shepard concluded.

"Yes," Garrus agreed, "We don't know what they are, but they're not the infected colonists."

"Good," Shepard said, while turning to the team "That means we can shoot those creepy things down. But no hitting the colonists! Even if they open fire on us. That's what the gas grenades are for. Remember, it's not the colonists' fault."

_Bad things often happen to people who aren't at fault. _That was how the universe worked, according to Tali. Still, she was glad Shepard had maintained his decision not to harm the colonists, if possible. They were not at fault, unwilling thralls of an alien lifeform. She would have shot them if Shepard had given the order, but she would not have liked it. Her father might have dismissed the efforts to save the colonists as wasteful and self-destructive, and part of her still believed it might be foolish – but if it was foolery, it was of the heroic sort, and again she found that thought to be inspiring. In a way, it went against everything she had been told in her life so far, but that made it almost liberating.

The garage door terminal had no electronic security to speak of, and Garrus had the override command entered within mere seconds. Everybody returned to the Mako, the garage door opened – and the team had a free view of over a dozen of those creatures, those 'creepy things' as the Commander had called them.

"Damn!" Shepard exclaimed – and hit acceleration. The Mako charged into several of the creatures, and their disgusting yellow liquid splashed to the walls. The vehicle's machine gun began to rattle as the creatures started to try to claw their way inside. While they were no real threat, it was rather scary: A dozen of them surrounding the car, lightly shaking it back and forth, making strange, muffled sounds.

Additionally, the Mako came under fire from above. The colonists had built up a two man outpost overlooking the garage, to ward the way against the geth. Now, it opened fire on Shepard's team, which was still preoccupied with the creatures. When they all were downed, the Mako and its surroundings were covered in yellow dust and liquid.

Shepard did not pause, though. He jumped into the organic mess and went down into a crouching position, bullets flying above his head. He ran upwards the ramp in a cowered position. Several bullets still hit him, but he did not draw his weapon in response. Rather when he was just near enough he threw one of the grenades. Tali heard a bang, and a green substance dispersed in the air. Soon afterwards, the two human guards went down. Shepard came to a halt, based his arms on his upper legs, and panted. His entire front side was covered in yellow. The rest of the team caught up to him.

"The colonists will have established several such defence points by now," Wrex pointed out. "Can we really take them all down that way?"

Shepard shook his head and straightened his back again. "We have to try," he said, "we have to try." He paused and the went on: "We should contact the Marines. The colonists now know we're coming, so it's not like we'll give away any information." Utilising his comm unit he spoke: "Ground Team One to Ground Team Two, are you still there, Lieutenant Alenko?"

"Right here, Commander," came the answer after just some seconds. "We took some bad hits. Two of the team are badly injured and combat incapable. So far we could avoid shooting down colonists, but I don't know for how much longer we can hold that up."

"Don't worry," Shepard reassured him, while stepping onto the elevator leading down to the colony proper, "we're back at Zhu's Hope, and are equipped to neutralise the colonists without killing them. Don't support us, still hold fire, let us do our work. We'll soon be at your location."

"Ah, okay. Aye-aye, Commander," Alenko confirmed. "Until then. Good luck."

The elevator reached its bottom destination, and the team stepped outside – only to be greeted by a greyish wave of twisted creatures. Surely a dozen or more came running towards them, claws held outwards. It was a grotesque, fear inducing sight. The team had to fall back several meters, but no matter how much they shot, how much they overheated their weapons, there were always creatures still up and alive and running towards them. Several times they came close enough to hit team members, which made the fight a single purpose exercise to keep them at bay. Liara, Wrex and Shepard all used their biotic powers, to throw the creatures backwards, or to lift them into the air where they would hang helplessly. Only that thinned out the enemy numbers enough that the wave could be stopped. In the end, all creatures were dead, painting the ground, parts of the wall and also armour and body parts of the team yellow.

Shepard waved his arm in disgust to throw off some liquid. "Goddamn creepers," he muttered.

"Finally a name for them," Wrex commented in his usual dead-pan voice.

Shepard looked at the krogan, and laughed. "Better than calling them zombies, I guess. That would be unscientific, after all."

If the Commander had intended a joke it fell flat. Liara, Garrus and Tali looked at each other confused, as neither had any idea what a 'zombie' was. Probably something from human biology or culture. Wrex looked like he was grinning, even though it was difficult to tell with him, so maybe he had understood Shepard.

There were worse things than the Creepers. Even if they hit one in waves, one could at least fire at will at them. Having to deal with the infected colonists was a greater problem. Having to deal with both at once was just horrible.

Immediately as the team stepped outside, into the colony proper, they were hit from all sides by enemy crossfire, while 'Creepers' came charging at them. Soon, Zhu's Hope was a chaotic maelstrom of bullets, Creepers, their yellow 'blood' everywhere and biotic powers. Yet Tali kept up Shepard's order, only ever directing her weapon against those creatures, never against the colonists. Somehow the Commander seemed to retain a good enough grasp of the confusion battle situation, shouting orders, structuring the chaos. He appeared to have a keen eye for good covers and good firing positions. His orders were an anchor in all the mess.

And he was always at the forefront. Tali saw him running right into enemy fire, so that he could take out the colonists with the tetraclopine grenades. Sometimes, he would even go into physical combat, striking them unconscious with his rifle butt. And that all the while they were still firing on them. However, the Commander did not fire back. Not once, as far as Tali was able to see.

This took his toll on him. Several times, Shepard's shields faltered, and after a while he appeared to bleed from several wounds. Yet, he urged the team on, and did not spare himself, either, doing his utmost to neutralise the colonists without killing them.

When the pace of battle had slowed a bit, Shepard ran to the door of one of the prefabs and waved the team inside. _This is where the marines are_ Tali thought, looking at her sensors. It was one of few prefabs with two levels, and the marines were in the upper one, easily defended with only one way leading up to them.

The room was as décor-less as everything in the colony. Even the Flotilla took more effort to look like a home. At least they had tapestries there, and sometimes also other decorations. It was rare for Tali to see people living in environments even more bleak and utilitarian than the Migrant Fleet. Between the barren steel walls were only two beds, a table, and two chairs, all minimalist in design and crammed together. The marines were standing or sitting in the room; two of them lay on the beds, obviously wounded and only provisionally patched up.

Chief Williams stood leaning against a wall, while Lieutenant Alenko was at the room's entrance, visibly relieved to see Shepard and his team.

"Good to see you made it, Commander," he said. It would have been impossible not to notice the yellow dirt on everybody, but he seemed to ignore it. "What's the situation out there?"

"We have used some kind of, what was the word, neuromuscular degenerator, in gas form, to paralyse most colonists," Shepard answered. He looked at the injured marines and continued: "It should be safe to move the wounded to the _Normandy_ now."

"And what do you plan to do, sir?" Alenko asked.

"Kill the creature who enthralled the colony," Shepard stated, "It appears it's right below us, below that stranded freighter."

"If anybody else had told us, sir, I'd never have bought this story of a mind enslaving alien out here," Williams said, straightening herself from her leaning position. "But as it was you – that creature needs a kick in the butt. Or cloaca. Or whatever it has. And that hard and quickly. No alien enslaves humans without consequence. None."

"I think both of the wounded can walk, with support," Alenko stated, earning some mumbled confirmations, "That would leave two of us to support you."

"Private Ramirez," Shepard called on of the un-injured Marines to him, "I will take Lieutenant Alenko and Chief Williams with me. This means it falls into your responsibility to get the rest of your team to the _Normandy_."

"Aye-aye," Ramirez answered. Tali noticed it was one of the Marines who had sat at the mess table together with her after the battle on Edolus, the one who had cracked several jokes. The other uninjured marine was Private Bethlen, the one who had shown a rather unfavourable opinion about quarians. Together, the two began to move their wounded comrades outside.

Meanwhile, Shepard briefed Alenko and Williams about the situation, about the Thorian, its Creepers, its spores, and the freighter parked above it. He also told them, in less detail, about the geth, their downed ship, ExoGeni and the arrest of Jeong.

"I've seen that freighter," Alenko said, "it's modular, and held in a repair frame. We can easily lift single parts of it, so finding anything beneath it shouldn't be a problem."

After leaving the prefab, it was Shepard who reached the terminal of the construction frame first, but he did not stay there. Instead, he gave a little shout and ran towards the freighter itself. Worried, Tali hastened after him.

She found the Commander looking down on a human corpse, its head surrounded by blood. The quarian recognised it: It was Fai Dan, the colony's leader. He held a pistol in his right hand, still pointed towards his head, but there also was a slash wound on his chest, going through his clothes. Most strikingly, above him words were written on the freighter's wall, written most likely in his own blood. In crude capital letters "IWONTOBEY" was written there, in crimson slowly fading to brown. And then Tali saw the device in Fai Dan's left hand, partly buried by his body.

"A heavy load mine," she said, digging it out. It had not been activated. Yet her mind raced. _If it had been activated..._

"If Fai Dan had obeyed..." Shepard began, not ending the sentence.

"As soon as we had come near the freighter we would've been blown to kingdom come," Williams commented more bluntly.

"A silent hero," Alenko said, "may he rest in peace."

Solemnly the crew waited while Garrus was at the console, lifting the module Fai Dan had marked for them in such a gruesome, yet heroic way. A rectangular hole in the ground appeared, and concrete stairs leading downwards. Yet more Prothean tunnels, and somewhere down there was the Thorian's central nerve bundle, or so Lizbeth Baynham had claimed.

It were lots of stairs. The Thorian seemed to be far, far down, underneath Feros' surface. A shaft was taking them so far down, which held stairs after stairs after stairs, with no interruptions. It was a long walk until finally there were no further stairs leading downwards.

"At last!" Williams complained, just as the team was entering a corridor, walking purely horizontally the first time for what appeared like ages. "Do you think we're finally on the Thorian's level?"

"Yes," Wrex simply answered.

"Now we just need to find this creature," Tali said, while they were nearing the corridor's exit, "and determine what it... what it..."

They had found the creature. The corridor had led to a further shaft, bathed in sunlight from above. And in the middle of the shaft, hanging from tendrils reaching to all sides, hung an enormous blob, pink coloured in the back and sickly brownish at the front. In fact, the front looked almost animal in nature. Something like a mouth was at the end of it, surrounded by tentacles.

"Keelah," Tali continued, "what is this thing?"

It was meant as a rhetorical question, yet Shepard answered it, with a quiet yet determined voice: "The enemy."

He began to walk nearer the creature, slowly drawing his shotgun. He seemed to ready to fire when there was movement among the tentacles. A liquid that looked like saliva came in masses from it, giving Shepard pause.

And then, an asari fell from the creature's mouth.

She was fully grown, naked and of green skin, and her face looked angry and determined.

"She's like no asari I've ever seen," Garrus commented.

"This is... She's... green." Shepard said stumblingly and not very helpfully.

Tali was shocked, too. What was a green asari doing inside the creature? Or had the Thorian created it, like the Creepers? The fact that she presented herself in full-frontal nudity did not exactly help the feeling of weirdness. Tali had to admit she looked somewhat attractive, despite her unnatural skin colour. In any case it did not clear anything up: Few asari did truly have hang-ups about such issues. And organic constructs would not, either.

"Shiala!" Liara exclaimed when she saw the asari, as if knowing her.

The green asari spoke.

"Invaders!" she said, "Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meet, good only to dig and decompose."

"It... communicates," Shepard muttered, surprised. "Through her."

"I speak for the Old Growth as I did for Saren," the asari continued, "You are within and before the Thorian. It _commands_ that you be in awe."

Tali had to admit that, while not being in awe, she was somewhat troubled by what was happening around her, this giant alien plant creature, the mysterious asari, and now the communication with said alien plant through the asari.

However, Shepard seemed less affected. He walked a step forwards and asked with clear voice: "What did Saren want here?"

"Saren sought knowledge of those who are gone," the asari answered. "The Old Growth listened to flesh for the first time in the Long Cycle. Trades were made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. Flesh fairly given! The Old Growth sees the air you push as deceitful. It will listen no more!"

"It doesn't need to," Shepard replied, teeth clinched. "This 'flesh' were human colonists, people. You destroyed their minds, enslaved the colony. Whatever Saren wanted with you, _I_ want you dead!"

He held a hand behind his back and gave the signal to wait for his signal to attack. Tali grinned behind her mask. She knew how this would go.

"The Thorian is a piece of this world," the green asari proclaimed, "extending across the land and back through..."

Shepard gave the signal to attack, and seven different weapons fired on the asari, making short work of her.

"I love your style!" Williams exclaimed, only to then add a meek: "Uh... Commander."

Shots were also fired on the Thorian. However, no effect was readily visible. Any holes the bullets pierced were minimal and quickly closed, a regeneration so fast it even surpassed that of krogan.

Creepers came rushing from all sides to defend their plant master, wave after wave. Soon the team had to stop firing on the Thorian and concentrate on those twisted creatures. Standing back to back, they managed to keep the Creepers from reaching them, yet always even more came, from all sides, with little pause inbetween. During one such rare break, Shepard waved the squad into a sideroom, to end this encirclement.

With the wave of Creepers now being channelled through an entrance frame, it eventually could be defeated. Most squadmates stayed to catch breath, but Tali's gaze wandered to a further door frame at the back of the room. She walked to there and noticed pinkish-brownish mass having attached itself to the walls of the next room. One of the Thorian tendrils.

"Over here, Commander," she called, "Definitely something different in this area."

"Hm. Let's see if maybe those things are more vulnerable," Shepard said once he had reached her.

The tendril proved to be less resilient than the Thorian's main body. It took some time, but finally it succumbed under a hail of gunfire. It's thickened main part, directly at the wall, splattered, releasing the same yellow liquid as the Creepers. A scream could be heard coming from the Thorian's main body.

"That got his attention," Williams said with a vicious smile, "Has to be more of those around."

"Then let's go," Shepard said, but then froze. Another sound came from the Thorian, a splurge. Something had left its 'mouth' again. "Be careful!" the Commander ordered.

Sure enough the next wave of Creepers came running into the room – accompanied by a further nude, green asari, glowing blue. A biotic wave hit Shepard and lifted him into the air, while Creepers came charging at the rest of the squad.

A vicious battle ensued. Tali would have liked nothing more than to focus on the green asari, but it was not possible – the squad was busy enough with keeping the creepers at bay. Several times the quarian had one or two directly in front of her visor, claws ready to strike. It was a panicked defence battle.

At least some squadmates retained some overview. When Shepard was falling from his lift into the air, Liara used her own biotic powers to catch him, leading him gently down to the ground again. And at last the wave of Creepers stopped, allowing the squad to deal with the green asari.

"The Thorian seems to... produce them," Alenko commented with disgust in his voice. "They're like clones."

Shepard made an exhausted laugh. "Well then," he said, "Why do we want to kill it, again? A plant producing fully grown, nude asari? We should cultivate it!"

Wrex laughed, but he was the only one. Alenko at least chuckled unsurly. Williams rolled her eyes, Garrus looked surprised, and Liara outright shocked. Tali raised her hand to cover her visor. _His humour is pretty bad at times. No wonder Wrex laughed, Shepard is the only one who finds him funny, too. The two deserve each other's jokes._

"Commander!" Liara exclaimed, not even attempting to mask her shock..

At least Shepard had the good sense to look abashed. "Sorry," he said with an apologetic half-smile, "It was... It was a bad joke. Didn't mean... to offend anybody. Just me being stupid."

"I guess I can't blame you, sir" Williams said, "at least they _look_ like women." Both Shepard and Liara responded with unsure glances towards her. The comment probably had crossed the border into insolence, but at the moment the Commander still seemed to embarrassed to act against that.

"Liara," Tali chimed in, "back at the Thorian you sounded like you knew the... clone."

"Ah, yes, so it appeared to me" Liara answered, "those clones all look like Shiala. Except for the green skin. She's a a follower of Benezia, a former commando, and had a hand in my own biotic training."

"Just one more mystery along the way, it seems," Shepard commented. "Let's go on."

Their way send them upwards, circling along the shaft, around the Thorian. Which ensured that they would encounter the rest of the Thorian's tendrils. It was not an easy path, however. It was littered with Creepers, folded together and awaiting their arrival. They had to fight their way through. At times, further asari clones joined the creepers.

Tali found it terrible. It was nothing like the ExoGeni headquarters, where the squad had moved silently between the combat phases, allowing to hit the geth by surprise most times. This here was one constant battle, deep down below the ground, with Creepers everywhere, and wave after wave of new ones arriving, often enough with biotic support. And a monstrous and utterly alien _thing_ loomed at the centre of it all.

She had to concentrate at all times, to make sure no Creeper came to close. The constant attacks began to take a toll on her nerves. Others showed sign of stress, too. With people like Williams or Shepard it was simply a grimmer look, less talk and an exhausted face. Alenko periodically rubbed his forehead and flinched quite often; Tali assumed his L2 implant was acting up again, probably due to overuse. However, he held out, and displayed no further sign of exhaustion. On the other hand, Liara at times looked to be close her to breaking point. Tali noticed that she never used her biotic powers directly against the asari clones, only ever against the Creepers. She could not blame her. If Liara had really known this 'Shiala' then this surely was an even bigger nightmare for her.

The areas around the tendrils were the worst. Those were littered each with dozens of Creepers, curled together and dormant, awakening one after the other as soon as the tendrils were hit. It was unsettling to see them enfold and running towards the squad. They were a real danger, especially every time they were reinforced by an asari clone. The squad managed to destroy one tendril after the next, but it the fight took its toll. After a while, everybody had bleeding wounds or at least bruises. Tali's own suit had been breached on two occasions. She hoped the suit mechanisms had closed off and isolated the breached areas quickly enough.

The screams of the Thorian became louder with every tendril killed. _It's a question who will be worn down first – it, or us. _She did not ponder the question. That would have been useless; all that was left to do now was to push forwards, together with the others, and keep fighting.

"It's hurting, Commander" she commented after a particularly shrill scream, "We're on the right track."

On their way they passed by several pink organic sacs. Tali assumed that they were somehow part of the Thorian, too, but couldn't guess their purpose. Her mind had a short horror vision of a sac opening and unleashing thousands of mind control spores, but she pushed that thought away. It was noticeable, though, that those sacs were more numerous around tendrils.

Like the one they were shooting at the moment.

This time, there were screams even as they hit the tendril, long before any yellow liquid oozed out. And when it finally crumbled among that liquid – it snapped from the wall, falling into the shaft. Having lost six tendrils, the weight of the Thorian, suspended in the shaft, became too great for the rest to carry. With a final shriek the Thorian fell down the shaft. It took quite a while until the squad heard a 'thump' from the bottom. Tali considered it unlikely that anything could survive such a fall.

_We have done it. We have really done it!_ Relief and exhaustion washed over her. Amidst the horrible fighting conditions, battling against twisted monsters and cloned asari deep down under the earth, a small part of her had not believed that any more, as she could now admit to herself. The squad had simply went on despite all odds and in the end succeeded. _It's a good team. Against that team, Saren has no chance. _

Suddenly, Shepard whirled around. Something had caught his attention. Tali saw it now, too: A sac was rupturing. _It isn't over yet. _Quickly, the entire squad directed their weapons against the sac.

An asari emerged.

She landed gracefully on her feet, though the time it took for her to straighten herself to a standing position revealed how weakened she was. It was disconcerting how she looked exactly like the asari clones they had just fought, but her skin was purple, not green. She also still wore what looked like remnants of a Commando armour. It was tattered, full of holes, and some stripes of it came peeling off, the largest such case revealing her right breast. However, her clothing and skin colour made it clear this was not one of the clones, and she did not act aggressively, either.

Besides, Liara recognised her immediately.

"Shiala!" she shouted.

"I'm free..." the asari, Shiala presumably, muttered, and then turned to face the squad. "Liara?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Look who's talking," Shepard intervened. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

"My name, as Liara has said, is Shiala," she answered. "Thank you for releasing me. I am finally myself again." Shepard merely raised an eyebrow in response, waiting for more information. Shiala went on: "I serve... I served Matriarch Benezia, Liara's mother. When she allied herself with Saren, so did I. She foresaw the influence Saren would have and joined him to lead him down a gentler path. But she has lost her way, and so have her followers. So had I."

"How is that possible?" Liara asked. Her voice's usual monotone was pierced by pleading subtone. "Benezia had strong convictions, but from all that I hear she bas become Saren's vassal. How could she so easily fall to him?"

"Saren has an enormous warship," Shiala answered. "It is unlike everything I have ever seen, large, invincible, destructive. He calls it Sovereign. There is more to it, though. He can use it to dominate the minds of his followers. They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle; it can take days, weeks, but in the end it is absolute."

"Can it be the ship we saw on Eden Prime, Commander?" Alenko asked. His voice was pressed. He still seemed to fight down pain, headaches most likely.

Shepard nodded, a pondering look on his face. "More than likely," he answered, "So, you want to tell me Saren has... mind control capabilities? And that by using a ship?"

"It may seem unlikely," Shiala replied, "But I experienced it. Its weird angles and odd forms make you lose touch with what you have experienced as reality so far. And it has an aura of compulsion about it, so once you begin doubting your mind, doubting yourself, you will become totally open to whatever Saren is telling you. It is a form of mind control, yes."

"And my... Benezia fell victim to it?" Liara asked, distressed. Shiala just nodded gravely and sadly.

"Yet you are free of it now?" Shepard asked.

"The Thorian also possessed a form of mind control, as you surely know by now," Shiala explained, "It is a less subtle process. The Thorian conditions its victims with utter pain. I was subjected to it, after Saren sacrificed me to the creature. All the thoughts he filled me up with went away under this pain. I ceased being Saren's slave, only to become the Thorian's thrall. Now I am free of both, thanks to you."

"Saren sacrificed you?" Shepard asked. "He seems pretty quick to betray his followers."

"And pretty quick to betray his allies, too," Shiala answered. "He had the geth attack the Thorian after he went, so that you could not make a deal with it as he had."

"But if Saren already has mind control capabilities, what did he need the Thorian for?" Shepard asked.

"Saren did not come for that," Shiala said, "What he wanted was knowledge. The Thorian was here long before the Protheans built this city. Over generations it watched them, studied them. When they died, it consumed them. They became a part of him. The Thorian knew what it meant to be a Prothean. Saren called this 'the Cipher' – the very essence of being a Prothean."

"Pretty big effort to get a cultural understanding program," Williams joked. "Normally people make such efforts to get excused from them."

Shepard gave Williams an annoyed look before turning to Shiala again. "What would he need this 'Cipher' for?"

"Both you and Saren used the beacon on Eden Prime," Shiala explained, "Both of you had visions. But they were unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind. Saren wanted the Cipher, so he could think like a Prothean, in order for him to understand those visions."

"So as part of the trade between Saren and the Thorian, it taught him the Cipher?" Shepard asked. "Could it be taught to me as well?"

"It cannot be taught at all," Shiala stated, "no more than you can teach colour to a being without sight. It is more than their history or their society or their politics. It is, as I have said, the very essence of being a Prothean. It can only be... transmitted. That is what Saren needed me for." She paused for a moment, and then continued: "We asari can meld minds with almost any known species, merging our consciousnesses.. The Thorian transmitted the Cipher to me, and then I to Saren. Afterwards, he sacrificed me. I knew too much."

"That would fit his modus operandi," Shepard agreed, "I need to think about this... hm..."

"I could transfer the knowledge to your mind," Shiala offered, "in the same way as I transferred it to Saren's."

She walked some steps towards the Commander, but he raised his hand to stop her. "For now, you will come with us," he said. "To my ship. I don't think this is the right place or time for whatever you have planned."

"Maybe not," Shiala allowed, "but I would not like to be transported away. If you permit it, I would like to stay with the colonists. They have suffered greatly, and I played a role in their suffering. I would like to make amends."

"The colonists will need all the help they can get," Shepard agreed. "No worries. I think we'll stay docked here for a while to give them a hand, too, so there is no reason remove you from here. But I do need this... Cipher. And its 'transmission' is best done under medical care or something, in any case not here."

"As you wish, Commander," Shiala said, "A mind-link is something very common among asari, so I doubt medical supervision is necessary, but if you insist that it should be done this way, then it will."

With that she turned around, as did Shepard. The slow way back up began. The squad remained in a formation that allowed it to always have Shiala in a crossfire, if need be, or to block her way should she run away. Given her story, and given that Liara recognised her as the person she claimed to be, Tali doubted this was strictly speaking necessary, but it were simple precautions, a matter of military professionalism. She wondered what the Normandy crew would make of it, though, an exhausted team of humans and non-humans, covered in yellow liquid and dust, escorting a half-nude asari in their midst. She doubted that it would make for an image of military professionalism.


	10. Ch10: Feros IV: Aftermath

Shepard sat at the mess table, head in hands, looking down. His head hurt like hell, and unknown and fundamentally _alien_ emotions were simmering in his mind. Everything felt out of place, a constant sensation that had been gone on ever since Shiala had initiated this 'mind-link' with him. They had been at the sick bay, under Dr Chakwas' supervision, Shepard monitored by half a dozen medicinal instruments. Shiala had been given a spare uniform without rank insignia as provisional clothing. Both she and the doctor had been faintly amused by Shepard's caution, seeing how common asari mind-links were. However, Shiala had made it clear she considered herself in no position to dictate how it should be done, and that the process would happen just the way Shepard wanted it to.

In the moment of the union, Shepard's mind had raced through the visions from Eden Prime again. They had not made any more sense than before. Afterwards, he at first had felt nothing. Shiala had explained that his mind would need time to comprehend the Cipher, as it was after all the fundamental essence of an entire race.

Unfortunately for Shepard, his mind had begun comprehending quickly enough. Amidst heavy headaches, he had felt foreign concepts, alien thoughts and utterly strange emotions getting a hold of him. He had seen his visions in a new light, too, after a while. They still did not make much sense, but he had _felt_ the loss represented by them, the utter despair behind them – the downfall of an entire, galaxy spanning civilisation, trillions of deaths. Overwhelmed by this, Shepard had stormed out of the sickbay and into his quarters. Under the spell of those emotions imposed upon him, he had shouted, cried, and finally collapsed exhausted upon his bed. It had not been a pretty sight, and he had been very glad that as commanding officer of the ship he had his own room.

He had regained control over himself, eventually. The emotions held no sway over him any more, but they still formed a melancholic mood in the back of his mind. He also still felt shaky and exhausted. However, he did not have the luxury to stay in his cabin. The Council awaited a debriefing, and the crew needed orders. Some ship supplies had been shared with Zhu's Hope, under Presley's supervision, and testimonies of the colonists regarding ExoGeni's behaviour had been recorded. Now that this had been done, and that the Cipher had been transferred, the _Normandy_ was ready for departure again. It appeared that the last remaining geth ship, the one who had held up air superiority for the synthetics and had kept the _Normandy _at bay had retreated, so there was nothing stopping the Alliance vessel any more.

Shepard did not quite know whether he was ready to face the Council, though. This is why after leaving his quarters he had sat down again, at the mess table, trying to gather his thoughts. He was unsure how successful he had been in this.

Alenko approached the table, holding a plate with food in his hand. He did not appear to feel much better than Shepard did. The Commander suspected that his L2 implant was acting up again, something that had already started during the mission. Shepard did not envy Alenko, not even in his current position. Most likely, his current headaches were at least temporary.

Despite the need to report to the Council soon, Shepard's mind was glad for any chance at distraction or procrastination. "Lieutenant," Shepard greeted with a nod.

"Commander," Alenko replied. His voice was careful, it was probably visible in how bad a state Shepard was.

This made beginning a conversation difficult, but after a while Shepard bluntly said: "You look as bad as I'm feeling."

"I'm sure I can come up with a witty answer to that, once my headaches go away," Alenko said, "What do you have?"

"An asari meddling with my mind, and the ancestral memory of an entire race in my head," Shepard replied with a smirk.

"I can imagine how that might hurt," Alenko commented, still careful.

After a pause Shepard, trying to keep the conversation going, asked: "Have you ever considered getting under the knife again, switching to the newer L3 implants?"

"No," Alenko replied. "One wrong movement of that knife, and I won't even be able to speak any more. Besides, the L3 implants have less kick anyway. And I'd have to turn myself over to a Conatix installation. It will be a cold day in hell before that happens."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. Conatix officially didn't exist any more, but he knew what the Lieutenant had meant. BAaT had been Conatix-ran, and most companies dealing with biotics these days ultimately traced their origin back to that corporation. There was more to it, though, he knew there was.

"I've gone through the extranet after our last conversation," he said. "All information on BAaT is classified. All of it. Just what happened there?"

"It's classified, because the Alliance... made mistakes," Alenko said. "Once we had an embassy on the Citadel, Conatix was not satisfied any more with taking it slow with their research. They brought in 'experts'."

"And that's enough to have the records classified?" Shepard asked.

"The company didn't go through official channels," Alenko explained, "That would have made Earth look weak. So instead of asking the asari for help, for example, they hired turian mercenaries."

"Wasn't that right after the First Contact War?" Shepard inquired.

"Yes," Alenko confirmed. "And they were basically given a free pass to break us if it would turn out a decent biotic."

"To break a bunch of kids kidnapped from home?" Shepard asked, appalled.

Alenko nodded. "There was a case... near the end... one of them broke the arm of a girl because she had reached out her hand to a glass of water, instead of using her powers. She just wanted to drink something without getting a nose bleed. This was actually not uncommon. You either came out of it a superman or a wreck. Lots of kids snapped. A few died."

That was like a hit to the guts. Despite what he had just witnessed on Zhu's Hope, and despite his general low opinion of the Alliance, it still managed to shock Shepard. His boot camp at Macapá had been brutal enough, one reason he resented the Alliance. However this went way further. Alenko was almost casually telling him about an Alliance authorised institution injuring, breaking and killing people who never had volunteered for anything. That struck a chord with his new background emotions, adding to them, to their melancholy. However, it also added to his entirely personal, very individual feeling of rage.

"They... they let people get killed there? Children and youths?" he asked. "And then... they just hushed it all up? Damn, by your description that sounds like a forced labour camp."

Alenko looked surprised at him, maybe even shocked. Shepard's voice had not gotten louder, but he suspected it might have become graver, deadly serious.

"That is why I would never trust any Conatix installation again," the Lieutenant concluded, after a pause. "And that is why the files are classified."

"Screw Conatix," Shepard said, now louder and more furious. "They could never have done so without Alliance backing." He shook his head. "And yet... and yet you're here. In the Alliance Navy."

"It's ancient history, Commander," Alenko replied. "We're here to write history, not re-hash it. You said I had a part in saving Eden Prime. So if I had not been there, maybe the colony would have been lost. Service at the navy gives me a chance to do good. I'm 32, Commander. I've come to peace with what has happened."

"Which means letting the Alliance get away with that," Shepard hissed, and then shook his head again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to attack you. You know how I said I don't think I would've joined the Alliance if at some point they had kidnapped me? Well, I'm telling you if _this_ had happened to me, by now I would belong to one of those biotic terrorist cells. Right now, they look damn justified to me, even with it not having happened to me."

This shocked Alenko visibly. Once he had brought that reaction under control he answered: "Then I'm very glad BAaT had already been closed down by your time."

"As am I," Shepard said heatedly, "as am I."

_So much for light conversation with Alenko. _To be fair, he had started it with quite a heavy and loaded question, but it seemed all his talks with the lieutenant turned out to become far heavier than originally intended. It was good to know, though, to know just what atrocities the Alliance had apparently committed in the past. He trusted Alenko; the lieutenant was a paragon of level-headedness and thoughtfulness; he would never make up something like this.

The further emotional turmoil this had created in him was not helpful, though. He meant what he had said: This was an issue far beyond usual criticism, this was something that could justify terrorist cells. Or maybe not terrorists, since by definition they would target innocents, but definitely armed, violent and deadly resistance against the Alliance. It was made worse by the fact that it all had happened so many years go. Shepard could now go against ExoGeni for their atrocities, but it appeared the Alliance had gotten away with theirs.

He rose from the table. There was not much time left until he had to report to the Council, and he doubted he and Alenko had much to say to each other any more for the moment. So he simply left the mess silently, making his way to the comm room.

Once there, he tried to steel himself. Strange feelings still whirled in his head, Alenko's story weighted heavily upon him, and his head still hurt. He just hoped these factors would not interfere too much with his capability to talk to the Council. He realised that at the moment he was in a rather hostile mood towards all authority. There were certainly enough shortcomings of the entire way the Citadel and the Council were set up, too. For example, he just had heard how the 'official' line about the attack on Eden Prime was that it had been 'rogue synthetics'. Saren's role had been omitted.

The communication terminal flickered and began to project the images of the three Councillors.

"Commander", the asari Councillor began, "ExoGeni should have told us about the Thorian. It would have made your job far easier."

_Is she serious? _This did not look like a promising start to the debriefing.

"Making my job more difficult is the least of ExoGeni's crimes," Shepard answered forcefully. "They let an entire colony be enslaved, happy with having hundreds of minds being destroyed so they could get a mind control function. Surely, that should be considered graver."

The asari and salarian Councillors looked at each other, probably surprised, before the latter answered: "Of course, Commander. What do you intend to do about ExoGeni?"

"I have enough evidence to have them convicted a dozen times over," Shepard replied. That was not strictly speaking true. ExoGeni was a megacorporation, so it would take a lot of effort to even only scratch it. However, he did not want to tell the Council how much effort he planned on diverting towards that, away from his actual mission.

"Your ambassador has asked us to relay a message to you," the asari continued, "He asks you to stop investigating ExoGeni. For the Alliance's benefit, or so he said."

That was pretty much the worst thing she or Udina could have said at the moment. The conversation with Alenko was still fresh in Shepard's mind.

"You can tell Udina he can die and go to hell!" Shepard shouted, "And I'd be grateful if you could say it to him ad verbatim. The Alliance can go to hell, too, and ExoGeni will!"

Maybe he hadn't meant it like that, in such radicality. However, it felt good venting and saying what was on his mind without restrictions. The turian and the asari councillor exchanged surprised, maybe even shocked looks. The salarian councillor solved the tension, by stating: "These are inner-human affairs. As far as Council interests go, it is regrettable that you had to kill the Thorian. We might have been able to study it."

_This isn't much better. _"How exactly would you have gone about that?" Shepard asked venomously, "By sacrificing even more colonies, maybe? And I shudder to think anybody getting such mind control capabilities."

"We're not some random human company only interested in their pathetic profits, Shepard," the turian councillor objected, "We are the Council, we work for the welfare of the galaxy."

"Quarantining the colony and watching from afar was both a wasteful and barbaric decision," the salarian Councillor added, "I'm sure more efficient ways could have been found."

"Enslaving people to serve as its thrall was part of its nature," Shepard said, "Fifty thousand years ago Protheans, now humans. The thralls tended to it, supplied it, fed it. There can be no peaceful coexistence with a creature that is based on enslaving others. It had to be killed."

"Yes, kill it," the turian Councillor mock-agreed. "That's how you humans usually deal with things you don't understand."

Shepard closed his eyes and breathed out. He would not be baited into further shouting. Not when he had so much better verbal ammunition at his disposal.

"Funny, that, Councillor," he replied, opening up his eyes again. "I dimly recall it was another race who attacked _us_, without even knowing any facts on the ground. Who began killing without understanding anything. Killing civilians, too. All to enforce a rule in an area outside its jurisdiction."

"Such laws serve for the well-being of the entire galaxy!" the turian objected loudly. "Only a human would split hairs about jurisdiction borders."

_This is turning into a shouting match, instead of a debriefing. But if the turian wants it so, I'll be happy to oblige. _However, before he could answer the asari councillor intervened: "This is not the time for old grievances. At least the colony was saved."

"Of course it was saved!" the turian councillor shouted, "Shepard would go to any lengths to help a human colony."

"So I should have let it die, just to please you?" Shepard asked acidly, "To have hundreds die just to prove my racial neutrality, or my dedication to the cause? And despite such callous and even murderous ideas you call yourself 'responsible for the well-being of the galaxy'. What exactly is the purpose or the legitimacy of the Council with people like you on it?"

"You can't just question..." the turian began forcefully, but Shepard had enough.

"Disconnect," he ordered. He could also simply have turned the projector off, of course. But in what was probably a childish fit, he wanted the Council's to know how he had interrupted and disconnected them.

"Ah, oops," Joker's voice could be heard through the communication system, "Lost the connection. Terribly sorry about that."

Shepard smirked. The Council was the highest governing body of the galaxy, but as far as he was concerned they could go to hell. In theory the entire system of the Citadel was a nice model, races coming together to join their efforts, to work together. In reality, though, it were just thee races calling the shots, and that showed all too often. The Council distributed propaganda on how this was due to those races also having special responsibilities, and how they would nonetheless be fair to everybody, but that was indeed just propaganda. The turians for example had never been happy with human expansion, so they used every influence they had to disturb it. Apparently, even if it meant welcoming colonies failing and dying.

Shepard could not deny that it had been good to shout at people, especially at people usually demanding such a respect, to vent away some of his frustration and anger. Yet he could feel new anger was building up, about the Council. Even though the battle against the Thorian was only a day ago, he again longed to shoot something. Anything.

He did not doubt there would be consequences. Him shouting down the Council had almost certainly crossed a line. However, he knew he enjoyed some protection. Granting him Spectre status had been the bone thrown to humanity, the reason the Council got away with doing nothing else at all about the geth attacks in the Traverse. That meant that the Council could not simply strip him of his status, or discipline him too profoundly, without creating a diplomatic crisis. Maybe they would find another way to chastise him. He would have to see how this went.

Turning around, he saw Liara entering the room. He had locked the door before the debriefing, but had set it to open again once the debriefing would end. That the asari entered only moments afterwards probably meant she had waited in front of it for some time.

"Commander," she greeted him, "I had wanted to speak with you somewhere non-public. I heard what happened at the sickbay, and spoke with Shiala. I was concerned. How do you feel right now?"

Shepard was not prepared to be drawn into yet another conversation. Besides, this open voicing of her concerns and her stated need for privacy made him suspicious. _It's a stupid question, anyway. Especially if she has spoken to Shiala._

"My brain has been scrambled like an egg," he answered, "How do you think I feel?"

"I might be able to help you," Liara stated, "I am an expert on the Protheans. If I join my consciousness to yours, maybe we can make some sense of it."

"Nobody's messing with my head any more!" Shepard replied, almost shouted. "The Cipher was bad enough, but we might need it. No more of it!"

"Making sense of your visions might be just as necessary," Liara answered. "It might be the only way to stop Saren."

Shepard leaned back, and thought about that. "Maybe... maybe I should have though about that earlier, already at Shiala's mind-link," he said after a while, "but at least that was transferring thoughts to me. Now this would be different – you would want something from my mind. Essentially, you would be poking around in my mind."

"I assure you, Commander, I have no interest into any secrets you might hold," Liara stated.

"I don't even have any big secrets to be revealed," Shepard answered, "but nobody's invading my mind." He held up his right index finger and drew a horizontal line with it. "Nobody. I don't like espionage or surveillance done on me. Mind probing? That makes it entire orders of magnitude worse."

"I can try..." Liara began.

"Yes, you can _try,_" Shepard interrupted her. "But tell me, have you initiated such mind links before? Or initiated any with humans?"

Liara cast her glance downwards, shook her head and answered quietly: "No, Commander."

"So even if you had no interest in any other thought in my mind, just in the visions and the Cipher – you could end up absorbing them, too," Shepard said, "Our minds would after all be linked."

"It's a possibility," Liara admitted, "but if I focus on what I search, such 'leaks' should be minimal. It might be a reasonable price for getting information we can use against Saren. Besides, it may help you lessen the confusion and the physical pains that came together with the Cipher"

"I rather take them then and keep my privacy," Shepard replied decisively, and walked out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Liara behind.

His headaches worsened, and anger began to build up again within him, both clouding his thoughts. Without greatly thinking what he was doing, he went a ship deck lower.

000000000

The work shift in Engineering was coming close to its end. Tali noticed how she had been absent minded through most of it, something very unusual for her. She did not even have the excuse of tiredness; after the adventures a day before on Feros she had been exhausted and had slept the sound sleep of the righteous. Yet her thoughts had always wandered away, back to the planet. Back to Commander Shepard.

She had been appalled at what she had seen as a lack of a sense of duty in him, a lack of proper respect of authority, maybe even disloyalty. Now, though, after Feros, she began to doubt her earlier judgement. She had seen how deeply Shepard had cared about the fate of Zhu's Hope's colonists. Furiously he had gone against the Thorian, and also against ExoGeni, which had been a sort of authority – yet it had been the absolutely right thing to do.

It seemed at times that Shepard lashed out against everybody and everything. However, Tali became increasingly convinced that this was due to him caring about everybody, no matter who and no matter where in the Galaxy. Shepard seemed to wish ideally for a good life and justice for everyone. Hence probably his criticism of the pilgrimage – he had not been dismissive of quarian traditions. On the contrary, he simply had cared for the well-being of the quarians sent out to their pilgrimages.

A growing part of her agreed with him, fervently. This was how it should be, how things should be done. The only care should be justice and the people one met. Stretched resources, hard decisions, 'pragmatism', those all should not be excuses. Other parts of her recoiled at that, her roles as Migrant Fleet member and Admiral's daughter. To those parts such ideals were foolish and wasteful. However, she began to consider it a glorious foolery, and those parts became ever quieter. It was almost a liberating experience, that there was more to life than just those constraining concerns.

_Shepard is right._

Not about everything. She still did not agree with his estimation of the Pilgrimage tradition. However, this did not matter. Ultimately, it did not matter _what_ exactly Shepard thought about the Pilgrimage, but rather _why_ he thought so. His motives were important, and Tali found those to be very... _inspiring._

She found it somewhat odd, even troubling how much thought she was spending to reach an evaluation of the Commander. He seemed to occupy a large part of her mind and she felt that this was not like her, especially not during work. After some pondering she blamed Feros for that, and all the troubling events she had experienced there. Such experiences could unbalance one's thought processes. Eventually, she would get over it, she was sure of that. It was probably also for that reason that none of her colleagues had commented on her below-average performance during this shift; they probably all realised she was still recovering from Feros.

A human expression she had picked up flashed through her mind: _Speaking of the devil. _There he was, Commander Shepard, entering the reactor core. Heading straight for her. He did not look like he was feeling well.

"Commander Shepard," she greeted him, surprised.

"Hello, Tali," he greeted back. He sounded unsure and also somewhat depressed. It appeared as if he wanted to say more, but nothing came forth.

Thus, Tali took the matter into her own hands and asked bluntly, but friendly: "What brought you down here?"

"Ah," Shepard answered awkwardly, "Well, I..." He trailed off and then shrugged. "I guess I thought it was past time I apologise to you. You know, for having been so blunt in our last conversation."

That surprised Tali. Considering her thoughts in the last few hours, it was certainly ironic. "No need, Commander," she replied, "you were just stating your opinions. I shouldn't have been so upset about it. In fact, now I think I should apologise to you."

Shepard chuckled. "Well, then. I have apologised to you, you've apologised to me, so to say, and it seems we can thus forget about that incident."

"That seems agreeable," Tali answered, smiling beneath her mask. After a while she added: "So it was just that why you came all the way down to here and interrupt my work?" She took care that her voice would sound as ironic as the question was meant to be.

"It's not exactly a big ship, and we aren't even back in space yet!" Shepard justified himself with a smile. Then he shrugged and admitted: "But... no. Today's been a really bad day. I guess I came here because, well, it may sound odd, but yeah... I guess because I was looking for some conversation."

"And so you came to here?" Tali blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

"Well, I don't want to say that at the moment you appear as the last sane person on board..." Shepard explained, "No, that would be way exaggerated. However, Shiala's been messing with my mind, Liara would like to, Alenko likes to be a fucking martyr..." He had become agitated, but then just shrugged again. "So why not you?" he offered with a smile.

"Then I guess we can talk," Tali answered, "When the watch is over, which is in... three minutes."

"Huh," Shepard said, confused. "It's watch change?" He shook his head. "This mind-link thing has totally messed up my sense of time."

"A mind-link?" Tali asked, but then immediately continued: "Right, you can explain soon." It were only some minutes left, so staying at her post was only rather nominal any more, but duty was duty.

He told her on the way to the mess, and also told her about his conversation with Lieutenant Alenko and his argument with the Council. She could see why the Commander would be down, or would need somebody to talk to. He had only been able to admit it in a very stumbling manner, and it was odd that it was her he wanted to talk to, but as in so many other things the social conditions on the Flotilla had prepared Tali. Quarians actively sought social contact, including seeking contact with specific people, so while she was still surprised in a way about the Commander choosing conversation with her it was in another way a normality for her.

What Shepard told about the Cipher sounded grave. His tales of foreign feelings made her feel uneasy; she shuddered at the thought of such emotions being imposed on her. Clearly he was carrying a great burden, and it showed.

She began telling tales about life on the Flotilla again, tales she assumed he would enjoy. Maybe it was sympathy, maybe it was duty, doing her part, maybe it was simply trying to do a good deed. In any case, Tali and Shepard ended up talking for several hours. She could see that he enjoyed her stories, and followed them with interest. It made her glad and moreover, she was happy to share them with somebody. Her home had been on her mind a lot in the recent days, when she had felt estranged to the mission, the crew, Shepard. Even if this now hopefully was over, it felt good speaking of home.

Most of the time, she spoke, but now and then he also told her about his own childhood and youth. It sounded pretty bad, and made her glad that during her childhood she had had a family and an orderly structure for her life, even if it had been overly strict. He told her how had sought escape by reading. Reading about other places, other cultures or other times. Fictional places, too, but obviously they would never have as much detail as the real thing. Thus, he more or less accidentally had gathered together a rudimentary form of education.

"Other people sought escapism in drugs and the like," he commented at one point. "So did I, at times. However, drugs offer escape by not letting you think at all. I wanted to think about other things, primarily. Still, yeah, I did drugs, too. They're self-destructive, but at least that didn't hurt anybody else, so, really, I've done worse." He shrugged. He did not exactly specify just what kinds of things he had done that were worse.

The conversation definitely veered beyond just small-talk with parts like that. However, it nonetheless kept going on and on. Both Tali and Shepard seemed to want it that way, and they managed to end the talk without getting into another big argument.

000000

Shepard began to hate this star cluster, the so-called Maroon Sea. A close neighbour to Attican Beta, Feros' cluster, it seemed to be full of mad science, monsters and left-overs of the Feros disaster. The squad had already checked out the pioneer settlement on Chasca, only to find out that all of its inhabitants had been turned into husks. Shepard shuttered at the thought, he hated those techno-zombies. Worst of all was that it had been done deliberately. This 'Cerberus' group the files on Feros spoke of must have had deliberately planted dragoon teeth – dragon teeth they had gotten from ExoGeni, according to the Feros files. It was a deliberate atrocity, and somebody would pay for it. He had no idea who 'Cerberus' was, but he was sure he would find out, eventually. He was a Spectre now; nobody could hide from him.

Next, the team had investigated a dead freighter drifting in space, the MSV Cornocupia. The ship had been full of husks, too, probably the former crew. Rooting them out one by one in a maze of crates had been a nightmare almost straight out of a horror vid and it had taken a toll on the nerves of the entire squad. Several rooms had been filled with dragon teeth. The ship records had been the worst: The ship had stumbled about an unknown artefact, and then had set a course straight for the Perseus Veil, right into geth territory, as if they had wanted the synthetics to find them. The geth must then have huskified them and sent the dead ship back, as a warning. It was a pretty terrible story, which had further depressed Shepard.

At the moment Shepard and his team were on Nodacrux, inside a lone, secret research facility belonging to ExoGeni. Another file found on Feros had pointed them to here and had prompted them to start an investigation. Again the results had been horrible. On the positive side, they had not stumbled over any husks. On the negative side, they had found Thorian Creepers. Bio-zombies instead of techno-zombies. Which was in a way worse, because now he and everybody else on his team wondered whether they had really defeated the Thorian. Encountering Creepers here meant that apparently things weren't over yet.

So far, most of the structure had been cleared, but it had been a tiresome battle. Shepard had won some experience in fighting those creatures on Feros, so he and his squad knew how to handle the battles. The most important part was to channel the inevitable Creeper wave coming rushing at you through a checkpoint, like a door frame. Even so, having to repeat this numerous times, seeing multiple waves of twisted creatures running towards you, claws first - it took a toll, and was exhausting the squad pretty quickly.

For that reason, Shepard had decided to make full use of their supply situation, which was infinitely better than it had been on Feros. The team was able to traverse the cleared corridors of the ExoGeni facility without problem, and the _Normandy_ was easily reachable in orbit. This allowed the squad to pause and be resupplied very often. There was no need to go and charge the nearest Creepers. For the most part, the creatures remained within a certain area, so they would still be there later to be put down.

So Shepard's squad currently sat on some crates in one of the cargo holds of the facility and enjoyed lunch. Even though he had ordered it himself, the Commander had to grin at the absurdity of that. _This is turning into a luxury mission. Hopefully I don't spoil my people._ In a certain way already being here, chasing for evidence to use against ExoGeni felt like a luxury. It had nothing to do with the mission against Saren, and the news about a geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, in preparation for an invasion, where much more important. However, Shepard had already sent reports about that to Arcturus Station, and hoped the admiralty would take care of that. The Normandy was probably not suited for going against large geth concentrations anyway; it was a frigate with a a focus on scouting and stealth, not a cruiser or dreadnought designed for full frontal assaults.

Thus, Shepard had decided he could as well employ his people to make sure that ExoGeni's victims would receive proper justice. In an effort to integrate his Spectre entourage and the _Normandy's_ marines detachment more he had begun to take a selection from both groups to his missions. Currently, Alenko, Garrus, Liara and Tali were with him.

He had not spoken with Alenko since their last conversation, aside form short exchanges on official matters. Both were professional enough to make at least that still possible. Truth be told, Shepard did not quite know what he could say to the Lieutenant beyond that; it was certainly a rather awkward situation. Yet he stood by what he said, and he would not know what to apologise for even if he had such intentions.

He had apologised to Liara, at least. He had not been in a good state of mind when she had approached him, and he had unfairly vented that out on her expense. However, he retained his position that he would not allow anybody to spy in his head. That was an absolute. The asari had been visibly disappointed at that; getting the Cipher would probably have been a crowning moment of her career. However, Shepard would not give up his privacy for that.

The Commander had also been on bad terms with Tali for a while, standing in her disfavour, but luckily at least this problem seemed to have all but disappeared by now. Conversations between them had become common in recent days; in fact they had even begun to synchronise their meal times to that effect. Shepard had to admit he enjoyed her company. She combined a certain youthful enthusiasm with a sensible attitude and a realist, if sometimes too dark, view of the universe, and moreover she was a good conversation partner in general. He also liked the thought of her getting more acceptance and social contact with others than quarians usually did among other races, and he was glad he could contribute to it.

However, it was far more than just entertaining her. He was still plagued by the after-effects of having gotten the Cipher, with all the ensuing headaches, emotional chaos and feeling of despair and melancholy. Those were not constant problems, but they were regular ones, similar he assumed to Alenko's migraine attacks. His talks with Tali were one of the few bright points every day for him.

They had also begun to touch more controversial topics again. Both stood with their respective opinion on the quarian pilgrimages, for example. However, they had built up a certain tolerance towards each other's opinions, an informal agreement to disagreement. Besides, for all that he thought was wrong with the tradition, he was glad Tali was aboard the _Normandy_ due to just that tradition.

She had more than proved her value to the mission, too. Without her expertise Shepard would surely not have come as far as he had. _Probably would even still sit around on Therum, thinking how to get to Liara._ She could also hold her own in battle, as she had proven again in cleaning out the Creepers. In fact, the entire team had proven a high level of combat prowess in the recent weeks with all its various combat missions. Shepard had been very lucky in picking just the right people for the job, as he now realised. He would need them in the fight against Saren.

He signalled the team to gather up again. At least concluding this particular mission would be no problem any more. Shepard assumed that most parts of the facility had already been cleared, and he also did not expect any further unknown threats beyond the Creepers.

In both he was right. The team made its way through the various corridors and halls of the building, displaying a high grade of professionalism and experience in dealing with the unnatural enemy. Hardly any Creeper reached them, much less could do any damage. Amply supplied and rested as the squad was, it had no problems at all further advancing through the facility. _If nothing else, then this mission can serve as morale booster; an easy success._

While they slowly but methodically and without problems made their way through the research facility, Shepard ordered his team to bag in all equipment that might be potentially useful. After having witnessed Feros, he had no problem stealing from ExoGeni, and most likely this compound did not officially exist anyway. Moreover, he and his team were protected by his Spectre legal immunity.

One corridor had rooms with particularly high yields in this. At the end of the corridor, though, they found a surprise – humans. Survivors. After opening its door and entering, Shepard counted three scientists in ExoGeni uniforms, and no less than nine armed and armoured security personal. Judging by how much better they were equipped than the guards on Feros, he assumed it were mercenaries rather than regular security employees.

"Rescuers?" one of the scientists exclaimed, "Ah, thank god." She turned towards one of her co-workers. "See? I told you somebody would come to investigate that signal." Facing Shepard again, she continued: "My name is Dr Ross, Chief ExoGeni researcher at this facility. We've been trapped in here for days, without..."

Shepard interrupted her. He had little patience for ExoGeni stooges any more, and the ones here had started experiments on the Thorian's creatures. Something that was casually ignored by this Dr Ross.. _Does she think I'm stupid? _"Whatever," he said, "Just tell me why there are those Thorian Creepers here."

"How do you know about the Thorian?" Ross asked. The hostility in her voice betrayed her true emotions.

Shepard grinned menacingly. "I killed it," he said in an icy tone.

"The entire creature?" Ross asked, shocked. "Why would you do so?"

"Don't play coy," Shepard commanded in a hostile tone. "I know what ExoGeni was doing with Zhu's Hope. I've arrested Ethan Jeong and gathered terrabytes of evidence. Your company is going down."

"That explains why Feros hasn't sent aid yet," Ross answered. She tried to keep her voice even-levelled, though some shock showed. Then she sighed and continued: "ExoGeni's secret is out then. No point in lying to defend the company. We were under strict orders, including orders of secrecy, but you know the worst anyway."

_Of course, orders. The classical Nuremberg Defence._

"The 'creepers' here, as you called them, were created using altered samples from the specimen on Feros," Ross continued, "We discovered a way to turn them into docile obedient creatures, at the behest of the company's top level. It wasn't exactly ethically sound work, but it progressed well until a few days ago. Then all the creepers suddenly went berserk. Only a handful of us made it back into the safety of this room."

_I can see where this is going. I'm not falling for such a cheap trick. _It was of course easy to disavow ExoGeni now, after Shepard had already told her of collecting evidence against the company. And he found it curious just who had made it back into the room. With three times as many mercenaries as scientists, Shepard had a suspicion that Ross might have gathered them to secure her own survival, while letting others die. In any case, though, this was a good chance to gather even more evidence.

"Why didn't you send a clear emergency signal?" he asked. "If I hadn't decided to check this place out to gather more evidence against ExoGeni, you'd still be trapped here, and probably dead soon."

"ExoGeni, in their paranoia, designed this place as a closed communication facility," Ross explained, "They were worried about someone on the project selling secrets to a rival firm, or reporting our work to the authorities. We have no direct communication with the outside, only the emergency beacon. It sends a general distress signal to the ExoGeni site on Feros. They're supposed to send a team within 24h, but it sounds like they had problems on their own."

"Somebody should have contacted the authorities," Shepard commented.

"Yes, what we did here was wrong, I admit it," Ross said. "However, ExoGeni made us do it. There's no sense in dragging us down with them."

"Well then, if ExoGeni made you do it, then surely you would have no problem testifying against them," Shepard commented dryly.

"We'd end up as designated scapegoats," Ross scoffed, with some true emotion in her voice. "Whatever happened here is over now anyway. There is just no sense in reporting this to the authorities any more, right? How does it help anyone if I end up in jail?"

_Self-serving slippery snake. _Shepard said nothing and just stared at Ross. He hoped he could make her talk even more, reveal even more details under stress.

"Ah, I've got money," she went on. "A nice little emergency funds I set up. It's yours if you let us go."

_Attempted bribery of a Council Spectre. That's something. _ He turned his head sideways and asked: "You got that, Garrus?"

"You bet, Commander," the turian answered, ticking his visor with one of his claws. On the battlefield, he usually did not employ such informal language, but he sounded too mightily pleased to notice. This was his favourite narrative: Successfully catching criminals, with nothing in the way, despite an influential authority protecting the criminals.

"You recorded this all?" Ross asked.

"As he said: You bet," Shepard said grinningly. "And now, by my authority as a Spectre, I'll arrest you."

"Aha," Ross laughed smugly, "That's not going to happen." She turned to the mercenaries: "Open fire, open fire."

The reflexes of Shepard's team had been quicker. By the time Ross shouted her orders, the mercenaries were already under had been done very professionally, too: Only mercenaries were fired at, not the researchers. Shepard grinned. _They've taken my doctrine of disregarding parley to heart. _"Keep Ross alive!" he shouted, "We still need her as prisoner!"

While true, that order also had some problems. Ross herself had drawn a pistol, and hence now was an armed and dangerous opponent. However, Liara solved that problem in a creative way, using her biotic powers to lift the researcher far above the battlefield, just below the ceiling.

With her out of the way, Shepard's team made short work of the mercenaries. _Cheap second-rate mercs. _Shepard was amused: There was a certain poetic justice in ExoGeni losing its battles because they had been such misers with the security forces. Shepard and Alenko were trained Alliance marines, Wrex was a mercenary with centuries of experience and the entire team battle-hardened in the fights against the geth, a thresher maw and the Thorian. The mercenaries had no chance at all.

Ross fell to the ground again, breaking some ribs. Liara had not led her down slowly, too distracted by the fight to pay attention to that. However, the scientist was alive and conscious, and by the time of her fall all mercenaries and her two scientist colleagues had been defeated. Shepard went to her, applied some medi-gel, and then dragged her out of the room.

"Collecting ExoGeni bosses now, Shepard?" Tali asked ironically, before immediately correcting herself: "Ah, Commander, I mean."

"What can I say?" Shepard responded humorously, ignoring the lapse in formalities, "My collection of aliens is already full."

He thought he heard a quietly muttered "Damn you, Wrex!" in response and grinned.

000000

"So, is the Commander going to pick you up again after the watch's end?" Williams asked with a grin.

"I think so," Tali answered simply.

She had helped Williams correct problems with the electronic parts of some rifles, and the shift's end was coming near. In truth, she felt a bit nervous about that, about the prospect of talking again to Shepard. She enjoyed all the talks with him, and was glad they were happening regularly. Her opinion of him as a great man had become steady, and she enjoyed spending time with him. So she also looked forwards to the watch change. It was always a high point of the day for her.

However, she was not naïve, and quite intelligent enough to read the writing on the wall. The fact that she did enjoy the time spent together so much, her increasing uneasiness in thinking about Shepard, and the fact that even the crew had picked something up – _Maybe I'm not as immune to pilgrimage romanticism as I had thought._

She was not the first and certainly would not be the last quarian on pilgrimage to develop a crush on somebody out there. Insular as her people were, it did not happen all too often, and in at least nine out of ten cases it was about asari, but it was part of all the tales and romanticism about the pilgrimages she so far had always so strongly disavowed. It made her uneasy that something like that could happen to her.

It was not all bad, of course. While Shepard was human, and certainly physically quite different to quarians, he was a war hero, a fighter against her people's archnemesis. And yet charming and understanding. He had saved her from Fist's agents and then let her join his grand journey to stop a rogue spectre and his army of geth. So it was not all too difficult to understand why she could have developed some feelings for him. More importantly, she had regular contact with him, and could at least be a friend to him. That was probably more than most quarians who had developed pilgrimage crushes could say about theirs.

Like most things on the pilgrimage, it was simply something new to experience, to help her being more mature once she had returned to the Fleet, and she accepted it as such. However, it was still troubling in that it did not fit to her self-perception at all, and it was troubling if the crew suspected anything. Hastily she worked on her analysis tool, to get those thoughts out of her head.

However, after a while Williams spoke up again: "I guess it's not easy for him. If I had all that alien voodoo in my head, first the visions from Eden Prime and now that 'Cipher', whatever that is, I'd probably go mad. He's holding up remarkably."

Tali was unsure was to say. "Yes, he is," she said after a while.

"So hey," Williams continued, "if his talks with you help him..."

That made Tali definitely nervous. _What does she mean by that?_ Unable to form a good answer, she settled after a while for what had come to mind most immediately: "I thought you didn't like non-humans. Or so the talk goes." _Oh no. That definitely had not been tactful._ But it was too late to take it back now.

"That's really not it," Williams answered fiercely, and then cooled her voice down. "I'm just concerned about the Alliance's interests. This here is our most modern warship after all." She looked briefly up, viewing the cargo bay. Neither Wrex nor Garrus were on their usual places. Williams shrugged. "But I guess Garrus and Wrex are okay, now that I've been on combat missions with them. They seem to be on the level. I don't exactly love them, but they don't seem to be a threat, either. And I don't think Liara _could _lie even if she wanted to." She grinned. "Maybe somebody should ask her about her sex life."

_Oh keelah._ That was not helpful. At the moment Tali was not inclined to think of anyone's sex life, so she hastily responded: "And what about me?"

"Ah, well," Ashley replied, and for the first time the marine's voice betrayed some uncertainity. "I don't think I ever considered you much of a threat. After all, if you were a spy, what intelligence service would you report to? I don't think your 'Flotilla' can afford one." That was in fact only all too true. "And I've read up on you quarians. Damn, and I thought we get a bad treatment from the Council!" She shook her head. "Nothing compared what they did to you guys." She grinned. "So I guess your people can't be all that bad. Of course, you did create the geth... but I think even turian judges would consider jail terms of 300 years to be excessive."

"Excessive is one way to put it" Tali answered. Her voice was cutting, but not hostile. It was rare that a non-quarian would recognise the crimes that had been done against her people. Normally she accepted it as a fact of life that her people were shunned and at times actively persecuted by the Council, but it was nice to find a potential partner in complaining. "One time they had us bombed to drive us away from a world we had begun to settle."

"Yeah, I read about that as well," Williams answered, and continued sarcastically: "And yet, it's still the Council who sits cosily in the Citadel and renders judgement over us little people. Because actions like that show just how well suited they are for that." She shook her head. "I wonder when they'll turn on us like that. Or maybe they only kick peoples who are already down. That would seem to fit to them."

Tali had not expected such a turn of conversation. While she may not have put things as radically as Williams did, it was nice to hear somebody say it like that. "For obvious reasons it isn't exactly an uncommon opinion among my people that the Council is unfit to rule the galaxy," she said.

"Yeah, I bet," Williams commented, laughing sarcastically. Then she turned and exclaimed: "Ah, there's the Commander." She looked at her watch. "And pretty much exactly on time, too."

Tali turned, too, and saw Shepard approaching. Despite her uncertainties, a smile reached her lips, not that anybody could see it. The smile was mirrored on his face. Williams smirked lopsidedly.

"Hello Tali," he said, then nodded towards William, "Chief. Have you been able to work out the problems with the guns?"

"We found the reason," Tali answered. "Correcting the faulty software is easy now, we can do the rest tomorrow."

"By then we will hopefully be on the Citadel already," Shepard replied.

"If I may ask, sir," Williams began, "What's the plan for our stay there and afterwards?"

Shepard sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Well my plans are full of unpleasant meetings," he said, "I need to personally report to Admiral Kahoku, Admiral Hackett wants to speak with me about the geth activities in the Armstrong Cluster and Ambassador Udina wants to talk to me, too. No doubt to convince me to let the ExoGeni scum in our holding cells go free. And I need to make... arrangements concerning them as well" He shrugged. "The ship will run on a skeleton crew while we're there, so that as many people as possible can get shore leave. Afterwards... well, that'll be a surprise." He grinned.

"Your schedule does sound bad," Tali commented.

"Well, better him than us..." Williams commented jokingly, "Uh, no offence, sir."

"Of course not, Chief," Shepard answered with a smirk. "So Tali, wanna join me in the mess?" It was a silly question, since she always did, but yet the Commander still asked it every time, so it had in a way become almost ritualized.

"Sure," she answered.

"Have fun, you two," Williams said. There was a certain ironic subtone in her voice.

Shepard and Tali used the elevator upwards in silence. Unlike previous talks, Tali suddenly found herself anxious about making a fool out of herself when speaking to the Commander, so she said nothing. Part of her was distantly amused by her reaction; she always had thought herself so pragmatical and above such issues.

While stepping outside the elevator, Shepard noted: "Hm, you seem to be getting more sleep."

Tali did a double take. "You noticed that?" she asked, surprised.

"I heard some rumours," Shepard explained, while making his way to the food distribution, "that you had trouble adjusting to how quietly the ship runs. Seemed a bit odd to me, but it was obvious at times you were tired, yes."

Tali had not expected the Commander to be _that _observant. Part of her was glad that apparently he was paying attention to her. "Quarian ships only are that silent if something is broken," she explained, "but I guess I'm getting used to how quiet your ship is. I've been sleeping much better over my recent rest periods."

"Ah, that's good," Shepard answered. "Good to see you smile again. So to say."

When he returned to the table, his plate as usual overflowing with food, Tali asked: "What about you? Have the effects of the Cipher lessened?"

Shepard sighed, and made a dismissive hand gesture. "No, not really. I guess I just learn to deal with them. And I do think I begin to understand the Protheans better. Still can't make any sense out of the visions, though." He shook his head. "It's not getting worse, at least. What about you, anything on your mind?"

It was clear that Shepard did not want to talk about his problems. Tali considered pushing the issue; after all nobody would benefit from Shepard just refusing any aid, least of all himself. However, she decided otherwise. He was an adult with much experience behind him; he would know what he was doing. "I still think a lot about my pilgrimage" she said. Smirking beneath her mask she added with an ironic voice: "Our talks about that have not helped much in that regard." More seriously again: "I know Saren is our top priority. But with all the worlds we visit, I was hoping to find something to bring back to the Flotilla."

Shepard grinned in response, and took some bites from his food. "Well, as I've learned, it's no use arguing with you about that topic. Which just means we will _have_ to find something, I guess."

That _something_ would be found was clear to Tali, too, but the matter was more problematic. Trying to explain she said: "Unfortunately, it cannot just be a derelict ship my people can use for salvage. It has to be more than that. There's a lot expected of me."

"Of you, specifically?" Shepard asked "Why's that?"

That was a topic Tali so far had avoided: Her family. Partly because it was so complicated, because she did not quite know what to say about it, and partly because back on the Flotilla most people were judging her by her family anyway. No reason to also experience that outside. Yet it had been inevitable that eventually the topic would come up.

"It's my father," she explained. "As I told you, he's part of the Admiralty Board, the senior member even. That makes him one of only five people who can overrule the decisions of the Conclave. My father is responsible for the lives of seventeen million people – in a way, our entire race is in his hands. And I'm his only daughter."

"Okay, so your father is important," Shepard said, "However, why would people automatically expect more of his daughter? Are you some kind of royalty?"

"No, nothing like that," Tali expatiated. "My father's position isn't hereditary. I'll probably never serve on the Admiralty Board myself. Officially, I'm just the same as any other citizen. But it doesn't work that way in practice. My people place a high value on family and ancestry. There's an unspoken expectation that I live up to my father's example."

"That sounds tough," Shepard commented, his fork pausing in mid-air "And somehow not right, though I'm not sure I want to argue about another point of quarian culture."

That made Tali smile, even though Shepard of course could not see it. "When I came first aboard, I had not planned on telling you about my father, because I'm tired of being judged due to who he is," she said. "People have always treated me differently because of that. So I cannot really disagree with you." It was indeed just a further point among all the good things about him; he seemed to judge every person on his or her own merits. He was maybe not completely free of biases, being just a person, but he seemed to try, at least.

"Don't worry, I won't," Shepard answered, grinning.

"I've noticed that, and I'm grateful for it," Tali stated. "But on the Flotilla, everyone's waiting for me to do something great on my pilgrimage. Something that will forever change our lives for the better. If I don't, it's like I failed. And that reflects badly on both me and my father."

"And you plan to fulfill those expectations?" Shepard asked, pointing his fork towards her.

That took Tali aback. She did not even quite understand what he meant at first. Confused, she answered: "Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Shepard shrugged in response. "If they place so much higher expectations on you than on anybody else, just because of who your father is – well, I'd tell them they can go screw themselves. Forget expectations, what do _you_ want?"

"It doesn't work that way in quarian society," Tali answered. "We always have to think of others." And in a softer voice she added: "But it's a nice thought." And it was. It was an unachievable ideal, but an inspiring one.

"You didn't answer my question," Shepard prompted.

That made Tali pause to consider. She pondered the issue. She did want to fulfil the expectations. Partly because she had never known anything else; what else was she supposed to do? Also, not fulfilling the expectations just would be a failure, and she had no intention to fail. Trying to wrap this in words she began: "I told you how my father pushed me hard during my childhood. He never allowed me to settle for anything less than excellence. Plus he was very strict, a military man through and through. I came out of it the better, ready and prepared to do whatever I'd have to do. However, all that would be wasted if I could not use it in some way. If I don't live up those expectations, if I don't bring home something great, then all of it would have been for nothing."

"I see," Shepard said. A melancholic smile was on his face, but he did not comment on it further. Instead he said: "It must've been difficult growing up for you."

"Not as much as it was for you, but yes, it was. " Tali answered. She thought back to those times with a sort of reverse nostalgia. It had never been truly bad, but it had not always been happy times, either. "Even before he joined the Admiralty Board my father was a prominent figure. People looked to him for leadership. He had to set an example, and he expected the same of his daughter. As a child, I did think he was pushing me too hard, and it wasn't easy to fulfil his expectations. Sometimes, it wasn't possible at all."

"And what about your mother?" Shepard asked. "Where was she in all that?"

"Mother was around," Tali answered. "But she always seemed to kind of blend in the background, almost like she was overshadowed by my father. He... tends to do that to people. She passed on about five years ago, when some airborne virus swept through the fleet."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Shepard said.

"It happens sometimes, when the filters start to break down," Tali explained. "However, my father took it pretty hard. After she was gone, he became even more focused on his work. I think that was his way of dealing with the grief. "

"Hm. And after all that – don't you resent your father at all?" Shepard asked.

That was a difficult question. Slowly, Tali began to formulate an answer: "Like I said, it was difficult at times. My father is not the kind of person you bond with. And he wasn't around all that much. Too busy. People counted on him, and he took his duties seriously. Even when he was around, he always seemed a bit distant. Like his mind was always somewhere else. I mean, I know he cares about me, but he never really showed it. Not in the usual way. I guess the best thing I can say about my father is that I respect him."

"Well, at least you can say that much about your parents," Shepard commented. There was some bitterness in his voice, but it was distant, and very obviously not directed at her. "Still, it kinda doesn't seem enough if that's the best reaction they can bring forth in their children.

Tali understood what Shepard meant, but that was too easy. Matters were more complex. There were reasons why her father was how he was, and it was not like he ever had been abusive or anything of that sort. "My father is a man of many responsibilities," she answered, "and I think they weight him down and always have. Maybe too much to also be a model father."

"Yeah, maybe," Shepard agreed. However, he neither sounded nor looked convinced at all.

Given how bad his own childhood had been, according to the few pieces of information he had told her about it, it was certainly odd that he cared so much about whether or not she had had a good childhood. Even though it probably was again just Shepard wishing a good live for everybody, Tali was kind of moved by it. It was nice to know her past, and by extension she herself, mattered to somebody, especially to Shepard.

She tried to put that in words: "You seem to empathise with people pretty quickly, Shepard." She wanted to go on from the general to the specific, to her case, but in the end did not really dare to. "I... I think that's a good trait."

"Hah well, yeah, again maybe," Shepard answered. " Now, if you want to fulfil all those expectations – I wouldn't, but what would you need for that? I mean, isn't your contribution to this mission good enough already, what with potentially the entire galaxy at stake?"

"The problem is that we're a very insular society," Tali explained, "The events beyond the Flotilla don't much matter to the average citizen. Saren threatens the whole galaxy, including the Flotilla, but even with him and his geth minions gone, there are still millions more geth beyond the Veil, occupying our homeworld. It's our greatest dream that one day we'll return to it and reclaim it. If my pilgrimage gift doesn't contribute to that, people would see it as failure."

"So you work your ass off here," Shepard said, "protecting also your home - and when you get back to there you probably won't even be praised for it? Damn, you really deserve better."

This comment by him again made Tali really glad. However, in her opinion, he was wrong: "I don't think life is about what you deserve."

"Well, it should be!" Shepard stated, "Or at least, that's an ideal that should be worked towards."

His foolish, gallant, glorious idealism again. "That's easier to do for some than for others," she said, "and very difficult on the Flotilla, where our resources are so stretched."

"Hah, yeah," Shepard agreed. "I keep forgetting that detail. As a Spectre with my own ship things just are way easier for me. Well, at least I didn't yell at you, like I did at poor Elizabeth Baynham. Tell me then, just what would make everybody happy?"

That at least Tali could answer very easily. "Something that would help us better understand the geth. They've changed significantly since the exile; they continue to evolve. We've done our best to study them, but it's not easy. They're very reclusive. Until recently, they've never went beyond the borders of the Veil."

"Well, that has changed now," Shepard commented. "Unfortunately so, but hey, it's an opportunity!"

"Yes," Tali answered, "but all the geth we run into now are under Saren's control. We'd need to find geth operating on their own, independently." She paused shortly. "Or at least, that would be ideal. But I don't want this to get into the way of our mission. First we stop Saren, then I'll worry about my own problems."

"Huh. Interesting," Shepard said, "Well for now, we'll stop and resupply at the Citadel. Speaking with Admiral Hackett about the general tactical situation is part of that, as I've told you. There's that geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, after all. I just don't know if the Normandy is the ship best suited to counter them."

"The Alliance probably needs bigger guns for that, yes," Tali agreed, "Besides, it would distract us from Saren, and I really don't want that. Stopping him is my entire reason and purpose for being on the _Normandy_ after all."

"That's true," Shepard said, "but if all quarians are like you the Alliance Navy probably should borrow some more from the Migrant Fleet." He grinned. "Maybe I should propose that to the top brass."

Again a very welcome compliment, given the source, but it also made Tali somewhat sad. Few would speak so highly about quarians. After a pause she said softly: "Your people seem to be the only ones at least not totally dismissing us out of hand, just because of who we are and what our ancestors did. Dr Chloe, you, Lieutenant Alenko, you all have been more decent to me than people in Citadel space usually are to quarians."

"We're far from perfect," Shepard said, equally soft "And far from perfect on this point, too"

"I know," Tali answered, "But it's still good to be on this ship, the crew is for the most part very nice. I think I've lucked out on my pilgrimage so far."

"Don't worry," Shepard said. He lightly touched her upper arm, a gesture of reassurance. "You'll have further luck, enough to find your ideal pilgrimage. We'll make sure of that, luck has nothing to do with it. "

Tali just nodded, secretly happy.


	11. Ch11: Meetings I

"So after we cleaned up the debris I told the Corporal: 'If you ever bring that cat within 50 metres of me again, I'll have both of you up on charges.' "

Tali chuckled at Shepard's tale. "It seems we're missing out by not having any animals on the Flotilla, let alone pets," she said. "Companion VIs just don't appear to be as unpredictable."

She and the Commander were walking through the _Normandy, _which had just docked at the Citadel again. Shepard had quite a schedule of meetings ahead of him, as he had told her. Numerous times in fact, complaining about his utter apathy towards that sort of work, especially the prospect of having to face Ambassador Udina again. She had tolerated that with friendly humour and dry remarks. She knew his complaints had been exaggerated for simple humorous effect.

She herself had the opposite problem. Shepard had drawn up a watch schedule that allowed shore leave to a maximum of crew members, and that included her. If the visit proved to be short enough, she would have no work duties during the entire stay. Not a bad thing normally, but she did not quite know how to use that time. She and some other crew members from Engineering had agreed to go out to one of the bars eventually, if the stay would be long enough. The implicit acceptance of her, and the chance at further socialisation with her co-workers had made her happy. However, even if that meeting should take place, which was not yet secure at all, she still had quite a time to fill until then.

"Maybe some pet created instability would be useful right now," she continued.

Shepard let out a short laugh. He knew what she was talking about; she had probably complained enough about her problem, too. "We are on the Citadel!" he said, "Surely you will find something to do."

"Between all the cafés where I wouldn't be served and the shops outright saying they won't let quarians enter?" Tali asked mockingly, but not actually bitter. "Yes, I'm sure I could spend much time walking between them."

Shepard sighed. "I guess you have a point, though in a city of thirteen million floating in space there must be some places where they welcome your kind," he said.

"Of course," Tali admitted. "I may have exaggerated that problem. I wonder where I got that from?"

The Commander laughed. "Okay, okay, touché," he conceded.

They had reached the CIC, where Lieutenant Alenko waited. Upon seeing him, Shepard's good humour died down. From what Tali had gathered during the recent days, there still was a lot of awkwardness between him and Alenko due to their last conversation. None really disliked the other, but in matters beyond the official neither seemed to know just what to say to break the ice that had built up.

Shepard had told her that Alenko would be present at most of his meetings, in his function as leader of the marine detachment and generally as ship officer, since the Commander had decided not to bring Pressly along. He preferred to always have the CO or the XO to be aboard, and besides somebody had to oversee resupplying the ship.

"Commander," Alenko greeted.

"Lieutenant," Shepard responded, "are you ready for our various meetings?"

"Yes, sir," Alenko answered, stiffly. An awkward pause ensued.

"Well then," Shepard said after a while, "we should best go. No use in wasting time." However, he paused before he could move, and looked at Tali. "We'll first go to talk to Admiral Kahoku. Maybe I should bring somebody along who was with me down on Edolus. Now I won't cut down your free time per order, it's not a strict necessity after all, but, ah, care to come along, Tali?"

This was a surprising request. Or maybe a surprising offer. It would nicely solve her time problem. _And come to think of it, that might have been his intent. _That, and easing any tension between him and Alenko by having somebody else come along. He was right, Admiral Kahoku did not strictly need to see somebody else who had been on Edolus. However, even so it were two good reasons for her to join them.

"It might be a good idea," she agreed, "So, sure, why not? I'm ready as well."

Alenko's face remained strictly neutral; it was difficult or even impossible to read what he thought about it. Tali knew he held no ill will towards her, but it was probably as difficult a situation for him as it was for Shepard.

An uncomfortable silence accompanied the three as they made their way through the Citadel, towards the Presidium. The only thing that was said was Shepard explaining to Tali that Admiral Kahoku had told them to meet him at the same location as last time, the stairs to the Citadel Tower. Apparently the Admiral thought that to be the easiest way to arrange a meeting point.

When their public transport shuttle reached the Presidium, Tali was struck by the thought of how ever unchanging and timeless it appeared. She had seen pictures of it on the extranet from over a millennium ago, and it had not looked greatly different to what she was seeing now. Last time she had been here, when Shepard and his team had just rescued her from Saren, the humans had been visibly awestruck by it. Now though they seemed less impressed, probably more accustomed to it and more absorbed by their own problems. Tali, too, was becoming increasingly immunised to the view. She still considered the architecture to be gaudy, wasteful and exaggerated, but accepted it as a fact of life: Quarians lived on ships, asari were everywhere, and the Council had no sense of taste or efficiency.

By its very nature, the Presidium was markedly different from the Wards which surrounded it. The Wards were the cultural centre of the galaxy, where ideas and concepts from half a dozen races and thousands of world came together to form the galactic trend and fashion. They were overpopulated but also pulsating with life. On the other hand, in the Presidium people where few and dispersed, but all were styled up and displaying an aura of gravitas and upper class. Quite a few gave Tali unfriendly glances in passing, and she assumed some of the whispered talks she could see were about here. Quarians were a _really_ uncommon sight here, and really looked down upon by the galactic upper class, too.

The area around the Citadel Tower was worst. Everybody here was a high-ranking diplomat, politician or military. Nobody else would have any reason to be here. Making the Citadel Tower stairs a meeting point had hence been rather suboptimal, but it did allow Shepard to find Admiral Kahoku with ease. As he had told Tali during one of their conversations, he had first met him here, just before he had met the quarian. The Admiral had tried to get an audience with the Council, but had been blocked. Now he was standing at the same spot again, awaiting the Commander.

He and Kahoku exchanged salutes. The Admiral gave Tali a surprised look. Like everybody else in the area probably he had probably not expected a quarian here. However, he quickly concentrated on Shepard again and said: "Commander Shepard, I got your message, though I have no idea what you were referring to. What exactly do you want to report to me in detail?" He sounded rather disinterested.

"Uh..." Shepard began. Clearly this was not how he had thought the conversation would begin. "Didn't you get word from Arcturus Station, Admiral?"

"Only the standard communiques," Kahoku replied rather gruffly. "Should I've gotten more?"

"Uh, yes, sir," Shepard answered and then hesitated. "I... don't understand, sir" he went on, "I sent a full report to them; on what has happened to your marines."

"My recon team?" Kahoku asked, now finally showing true interest, "You found them?"

"I... yes, sir" Shepard confirmed. "It's... I'm sorry. I was under the impression you already had all the facts. That makes this difficult..." He breathed out. "I'm sorry to have to inform you that your men are dead. All of them. I'm sorry."

Kahoku's stature straightened and his head bolted upwards. "What happened to them?" he demanded to know, "What did you find?"

"They were lured to a Thresher Maw nest by a fake emergency signal," Shepard explained.

"Fake, you say?" Kahoku inquired. "So you think it has been done deliberately? Best give me a full report!"

"Yes, sir," Shepard confirmed, "My team and I were checking out the same signal when the creature beset us, but we were able to take it out. This allowed us to retrieve the distress beacon used and the bodies of the soldiers." He turned to Tali and gestured her to go on.

It made sense, as it had been her who had done the investigation of the distress beacon after the mission, so she knew all the technical details, probably even better than the Commander. Still, she had not actually expected to to testify in front of the Admiral. However, she was very sure of her findings, allowing her to speak up after some surprise in a clear voice:

"In investigating the beacon, I found four things: Going by its records it already had sent the emergency signal before your unit arrived. Second, Commander Shepard allowed me to go through the official equipment list of them, as stored in the records. The beacon is a different type from the one your unit possessed. This means it definitely had not been them establishing it upon being attacked; rather they had reacted to it. Third, the device has no serial number, as if made to be untraceable. And fourth, as impact marks on it show it was definitely dropped from some height above - somebody knew there were Thresher Maws below and hence wanted to remain in a secure distance. The conclusion can only be that somebody set up a trap."

Admiral Kahoku looked at her like - _Like one of those 'cats' just spoke up. Probably surprised of such an analysis by a quarian. _Not that she had any way to know that for sure, but after her pilgrimage experiences outside the _Normandy_ she tended to err on the side of assuming malice in such matters.

"I... I don't quite know what to make out of this," the Admiral began, but then shouted angrily: "Damn it! I had a bad feeling about this ever since my team disappeared." His words came out pressed: "An alliance beacon used as bait, my unit wiped out... and everybody has been trying to block my inquiries! Did you find any leads as to who did this, Commander?"

"No, sir," Shepard replied, "unfortunately not. However, if my report has been withheld from you..."

"Yes," Kahoku agreed. "And this would also explain why I have constantly been cut from any information. Whoever did this has powerful protectors. Or it may even have been an inside job from the beginning."

Shepard nodded gravely. "What are you going to do now, if I may ask, sir?"

"It's clear the official channels of investigation and communication have become quite useless for me," Kahoku answered. "I need to turn to... less official channels. Let's best leave it at that."

"I'm scheduled to meet with Admiral Hackett," Shepard said, "he came all the way from Arcturus for that. He seems to be levelheaded, maybe I can bring the issue up."

"Be careful, Commander," Kahoku warned. "Whoever did that was willing to have an entire unit wiped out. If they suspect you know too much about it – I doubt they'd have any bad feelings about killing you, either."

"With all due respect, sir," Shepard answered, "many are trying at the moment. Whoever did that can take a place in the line."

"Hrm. Don't get too cocky," Kahoku advised gruffly. "However, yes, Hackett is a fine man from all I know about him, and getting the word out might not be a bad idea. It might also be the only thing you can do about it right now, though I will contact you once I have found out more. Thank you, Commander. I appreciate what you did. Maybe the marines will get some justice in the end."

He shook Shepard's hand and walked off.

"Is the next point on the schedule the meeting with Admiral Hackett, sir?" Alenko asked Shepard.

"Not immediately, no," Shepard answered. He grinned slightly. "Before, there is another meeting. In a certainly much more relaxed environment." He lazily threw a small object in the air using his right hand and caught it again. It was most likely an optical disk, as far as Tali could make it out.

She and Alenko followed Shepard, as he made his way through the Presidium. He seemed to have a clear destination in mind. Unfortunately for Tali, who only had been in the Presidium once before, she could not say what it was, not even when she had reached it.

Alenko, though, seemed to recognise the place: "You have scheduled a meeting with the Asari Consort, Commander?" he asked in surprise.

"You'll see," Shepard answered distant-mindedly. He waved another human over. It was a woman with black hair, wearing very revealing dress and a small handbag

The Commander had told Tali about how he had solved an issue the Asari Consort, Sha'ira, had had with one of her former clients. He had not gone into detail on it, saying that the Consort would probably prefer confidentiality. Sha'ira had thanked him in rather cryptic ways, with a 'Gift of Words' and an old prothean trinket. Tali wondered what brought Shepard back to here. The Asari Consort was a very famous, well, consort. Part of the quarian feared it might have to do with this. It was an unsettling thought. Tali tried to cast it off; jealousy was unbecoming of her and she was in no position to justify it. Besides, Shepard was on the Citadel for strictly official business, and what with his schedule was unlikely to have time for frivolities.

The human woman approached the group. "Commander Shepard," she began, "it's good to see you again."

"Miss Wong," Shepard greeted.

"Emily, please, Commander," the woman said. "You said you wanted to talk with me? I must say, this is a rather uncommon meeting point, in front of the Consort's residence.. Do you have an audience with her?"

Emily Wong, the reporter. Tali vaguely remembered her. In all the haste and hurry after Shepard had rescued her, and when he had been named a Spectre, he still had found time to give the journalist an OSD containing Fist's files. She wondered what Shepard was up to.

"Deja vu," Shepard muttered while grinning, then replied: "No. Sha'ira has graciously allowed me to use one of her rooms for our meeting. Which is good, because I wouldn't like anybody else getting to know what we'll talk about."

"The Consort is in the business for centuries, so she knows how to keep her residence bug-free," Emily agreed and grinned. "However, it's always closely monitored just who enters it. Two male marines, a female reporter and a quarian woman... those will make for some pretty wild stories."

Heat shot into Tali's face, fortunately obscured by her visor. She was kind of amused at the reporter's comment, but at the back of her mind there also was a series of certain thoughts and images. Things that had popped up in her mind now and then the past days and which she always had immediately dismissed. And now images arose in her mind which totally blended Alenko and Emily out, and focused more on her and Shepard. And images which also blended her enviro-suit out... again she tried stop those thoughts as best as she could.

Shepard, however, laughed heartily. "Oh, I see what you mean," he said while catching breath again. "However, also pretty implausible stories, I think."

"Ah, you shouldn't underestimate my ever so esteemed colleagues at the tabloid news," Emily disagreed humorously, "They'll have a field day. Mind, of course they'll see relationships anywhere anyway. It might be a good idea not to stand too close to the Lieutenant or the quarian lady, or whomever else you bring to the Citadel."

This was not exactly helpful for Tali. Shepard was not moving, but now she became insecure whether she was in fact standing too close to the Commander, or whether she should hold more distance, or whether that would draw even more attention to it. _Probably the third. I should try not to make a public spectacle out of me._

"Well, I wouldn't want to leave them jobless," Shepard joked, "so let's give them some work to do and go inside."

Entering the building, Tali realised just what might have been the inspiration for Emily Wong's dress; the asari working here all had dresses in very similar styles. Quite much blue skin was shown.

They were greeted by the receptionist, who spoke in a very elegant and graceful manner: "Ah, Commander Shepard, it's so good to see you back on the Citadel. I see that the Consort has granted you use of one of our rooms here. A most rare occasion; you seem to be a very fortunate man. Please, let me show you the room."

Following her Tali and the three humans entered a luxuriously spaced entrance lounge. Behind it were several separées and rooms, plus a way leading to the Consort herself. The room the receptionist led them to was at the back of the building, comfortably far away from all the coming and going in the entrance area. At the middle of it was a round table, surrounded by a comfortable couch. The three humans and Tali seated themselves there, with Shepard and Emily facing each other at the ends of the couch.

"I hope you find what you have come to seek," the receptionist said smiling, "even without the aid of the Consort." With that she withdrew from the room.

"I've heard half of the Consort's success is due to how she and her assistants can talk mythically," Emily commented. "It might just be true."

"That's the impression I got, too," Shepard answered and chuckled. "But I won't complain if that room is really as secure as she promised it would be. So, Emily, I have a proposal for you. How would you like an exclusive interview?"

The reporter's eyes widened. "An exclusive interview? With the first human spectre? About his missions and background and everything? That would be fantastic!" Then she grinned and toned her enthusiastic voice down. "So, where's the catch?"

"Well, in return for it, I'd give you all this material that will let you cover a great scandal that will certainly interest the people," Shepard said, and laid a optical disk on the desk.

_That's his plan!_ Tali understood now the purpose of this meeting. It was about ExoGeni. From all the information she had gathered about human megacorporations, they were in many regards practically above the law. Simply starting juridical measures would hence be insufficient. More had to be done – like alerting the public. Alenko's eyes widened, he apparently had understood, too. Both however kept quiet. This was Shepard's show.

Emily raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Normally people would demand that in return I give something to them, like money. So can I assume that this disk actually contains very hot information? So hot that it might burn my fingers?"

Shepard became completely somber and serious. His stature straightened, his face became hard, his voice became lower and quieter. "That is an understatement," he said. "This information _needs_ to get out, and I don't have any contacts in the media branch except you."

"And if I take care of that you will give me an exclusive interview?" Emily asked. Shepard nodded, and the reporter continued: "What is on the disk? Why do you need me for making it public?"

"It directly targets ExoGeni," Shepard answered. "With luck, it's even a deadly shot at that target. But ExoGeni is a megacorp, and you know what that means."

Emily's eyes narrowed. "Yes. ExoGeni has no media assets as far as I know, but if the news would really threaten them... the megacorps all battle each other, often even with illegal means, but they close ranks in a matter of seconds once one of them is threatened from outside."

"And practically all noteworthy media is in some way or other owned by one megacorporation or other," Shepard continued. "So that's why I need you. Could you get this information out, on the extranet channels of the reputable news organisations?"

"I have... contacts," Emily answered after a moment of pause. "Most employees at news companies these days are, well, sycophants to put it bluntly. However, that makes those of us who still are interested in airing real news bond together all the closer. And all of us would like to publish news really shaking up one of the megas. I think I could maybe organise a coup, have the news uploaded to our channels under the nose of our bosses. It's not a secure bet, of course, but it's the best I can offer."

"And that means it's probably the best I can get," Shepard commented. "So that's the deal: You take care of that information hitting the public, and I'll have an interview with you and with nobody else."

"That's most agreeable!" Emily said. "Now, what is on that disk?"

Shepard began to explain. About Feros, the Thorian and ExoGeni. How the company let the alien creature enslave Zhu's Hope, and how it then planned to "purge" the colony, killing everybody, to hush matters up. How the Thorian conditioned people with utter pain, and how ExoGeni tried to find ways to get own mind control capabilities out of it, even if it meant sacrificing the colonists. How he had arrested Jeong and Ross, but feared that simply turning them over to the courts would not be enough.

"That's terrible!" Emily exclaimed. "You were absolutely right, Commander, the galaxy must know about ExoGeni's crimes."

"I understand, Commander," Alenko spoke up, "If you just handed over Jeong and Ross and they are tried, then ExoGeni would find ways to hush its own involvement up. The verdict would then surely be that they had acted on their own, or other such lies. Thus, you need to make sure the courts cannot just ignore the company's involvement."

Tali thought it was very much unlike the Lieutenant to speak up in a conversation between others like that. Especially considering the difficult situation between him and Shepard. There was something about this that seemed to really agitate him, that was plain in his voice and mimic, too.

"That's the gist of it," Shepard agreed and nodded. "That's the problem with megacorps, they can wind themselves out of anything. And the Alliance would be very supportive of their manoeuvres. However, if the case gets enough public attention, then there can't be any hushing up done. Ideally, there'll even be public pressure. In any case, ExoGeni would be too exposed to have their involvement ignored."

"That makes sense," Emily commented. "It was a good to try to use the media. What else have you planned?"

Shepard shrugged. "Well, ideally... I had an idea in my mind, that I would so to say parade the prisoners around. Make a stop here at the Citadel, then at some colony in the Exodus Cluster on our way to Earth, and then hand them over there."

"Earth!" Alenko exclaimed. "So that is our surprise destination after our stay here... sir."

"Indeed," Shepard confirmed, smiling slightly.

"It's not a bad idea," Emily said, "but it seems you didn't quite think of the details. Nobody here except Alliance officials even knows you have those prisoners on board."

Shepard sighed. "I know, I know. It's always so much easier in theory. Truth be told, I've no idea how exactly to go on about it. I mean, I'm no PR expert or something like that!"

"Of course, Commander," Emily replied. "Your strengths are elsewhere. However, I'm sure I can get the word out in a matter of hours. Minutes even, probably! Let me take care of it. And I can do the same on Earth and Eden Prime – given your hero status there that is probably your stop of choice in the Exodus Cluster. And just before you arrive at Earth, my report will be finished and uploaded, for maximum effect."

The reporter's enthusiasm made Tali smile. "It seems you've found another expert," she commented, "and this time it isn't even an alien for your collection."

Shepard laughed, and again when he saw Emily's confused face. "Never mind," he said to the reporter, "She's right, though, in that I do seem to have fortunately stumbled about an expert in PR matters."

"I wouldn't flatter myself by saying I'm an expert," Emily disagreed smiling, "but I may have more experience in the field than you do. So no worries, I'll help your plan come to success. ExoGeni direly needs some bad PR." Her smile turned to a grin. "Of course, I need to think of myself, too. So, about the interview..."

"Yes, yes, you'll get it," Shepard reassured her. "However, I've no idea when exactly I'll be next on the Citadel. I'll immediately give you a call, I promise, but I can't say when that'll be."

"That's understandable," Emily commented. "You are after all on the forefront of the struggle against the geth attacks on our Traverse colonies. Giving an interview is a pretty minor priority compared to that. Too bad for me, though."

She put on a rather exaggerated pout, or so Tali judged it. Shepard grinned lopsidedly and answered: "Yes, poor you. How about that then? You'll get a full interview next time I'm here, whenever that'll be, but I already answer some questions right now."

"Right now?" Emily asked somewhat surprised. "Uh... sure. That sounds like a good compromise. And a good reporter is always prepared." She opened her handbag, took out a small drone and started it. It began to hover right next to her head, serving as mobile camera and illuminating Shepard's face.

"Well then, Commander," the reporter began. "You are the first human Spectre. How do you feel about that?"

"I think it was an achievement," Shepard replied, "I'm proud they chose me for it; that's quite a confidence boost. However, it came about as the result of diplomatic haggling. The Council wasn't willing to actually lend us any military help against the geth; so they threw us a bone and named me a Spectre."

Despite the fact that maybe she should have known better, Tali was surprised. _Direct to the point as always. He's right, of course, but the Council won't like this. _However, she liked his directness. The thought of the Council fuming about this interview was entertaining, at the very least.

Emily seemed to be surprised, too. "This is an interesting evaluation, Commander. You don't seem to mince words. So your mission is to investigate those geth attacks?"

"My mission is to catch Saren Arterius, a rogue turian Spectre, and to pre-empt any further actions of his," Shepard corrected her. "It was him who led the geth into the attack on Eden Prime. He's responsible for thousands of human deaths. Of course, in trying to find him I do investigate various points of geth presence in the Traverse."

"That's... surprising, Commander" Emily said. "The official line regarding that attack doesn't mention this 'Saren' at all."

"The Council doesn't want it to be widely circulated," Shepard answered, "but it's no secret. Saren has officially been stripped of his Spectre rank, you can look that up. Still, the Council doesn't want people to actually know that. It would shed a bad light on them. For years and decades Saren has been extraordinarily brutal on his missions, and yet the Council has always covered him. And now he has gone rogue. Of course, this also casts a bad light on the entire system of Spectres, something the Council seeks to prevent, too."

"But you are a Spectre now, Commander," Emily stated, "and yet you don't agree with the system?"

"Spectres stand above the law," Shepard explains. "That makes the entire system too open to abuse, especially if the Council also tries actively hush any misdeeds up. It's..." He sighed, struggling with the right words. Emily waited patiently, but her lacking reaction seemed to only make matters worse.

Instead of immediately continuing, Shepard drew his pistol and held it vaguely in the of the reporter, who paled but else kept her calm. Tali could see the Commander took great care never to actually directly aim at Emily, but for a laywoman it was probably less obvious.

"I could kill you now with no repercussions for me whatsoever," Shepard went on. "Hell, if I were Saren, even when he still had his Spectre status, maybe I even would, and the Council would do its best to hush up the story. I could kill anybody here without legal consequences, any Spectre could. Doesn't matter at all if the people are innocent or not, we're above the law." He sheathed his gun again. "That's not protecting people, that's a predation on innocents. Of course the entire system is rotten! Since it's the only thing the Council gave to aid us humans, I'll make use of my status. But ideally, there shouldn't be any Spectres at all."

Such bold directness shocked even Tali. To her, this seemed like openly inviting trouble. _Then again, Shepard knows how to deal with trouble. _

"You made that point very clear, Commander," Emily said, never having lost her outwards composure, "Won't such candid comments get you into trouble with the Council?"

Shepard just shrugged. "We'll see."

"Then I'll hope for the best," Emily commented. "There have been some stories and rumours about your ship. Some sources even call it the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy, or even the most advanced ship in Citadel space. Is there any truth to those boasts?"

"I'm no technology expert," Shepard replied. "However, as a Commanding Officer I know the _Normandy_ does indeed have quite many capabilities most other ships do not have. It includes quite many innovations that show the human capacity to think outside the box, as we already have with our carriers." He paused and grinned slightly. "Admittedly, as part of a cooperation project there also was some turian input in constructing the ship, but I couldn't tell you how far this goes. In any case, any details on the _Normandy's _capabilities are of course classified."

"Of course, Commander," Emily said. "There have been some concerns, though. If the Normandy really is humanity's most advanced ship, then many might see it as inappropriate to have handed her over to the Citadel."

Shepard did a double take. "Handed her over?" he asked. "Who's telling that?" He shook his head. "No, the _Normandy_ is still a part of the System Alliance Navy. She's currently more or less permanently assigned to me, personally, so that I can fulfill my mission – and given the geth attacks on human colonies the Alliance obviously has an interest in that as well. Captain Anderson, her former CO, stepped down so I could take command of her, and with the top brass' blessing I'm free to take her where ever I need her. The Citadel has nothing to do with it. I got that arrangement because I was made a Spectre, yes, but legally my role as a Spectre and as CO of the _Normandy _are two completely different things."

"Ah, it's good you clear that up, Commander," Emily commented. "My last question for now, I promise: There has also been much rumour-mongering on the Extranet about the _Normandy_ having non-human crew members. Would you like to comment on that?"

"Actually, they aren't legally crew members," Shepard explained, "as they aren't part of the Alliance Navy. Purely legally I hired them in my function as a Spectre, using funds supplied by the Alliance. However, yes, in reality that makes little difference. I realise many people may disagree with a non-human presence aboard the _Normandy_, but Saren and his geth threaten every race, not just us humans. And I need competent experts to bring him down. If those experts happen to be alien, then that shouldn't be a reason not to use their expertise."

"A pragmatical attitude, Commander, though many people might not be convinced, "Emily said. "What fields do you need experts for? For example, what is your area of expertise?"

The camera drone swung around and now faced Tali. The quarian could muster just enough discipline not to cover her face; that would not have looked very dignified. Nonetheless, she was surprised to now literally be in the spotlight. She did not like the thought of it, but prepared herself for having to answer questions, too. However, that proved to not be necessary.

"Miss Wong," Shepard interrupted the reporter. He sounded suddenly very grave and serious, icy even. "_I _have agreed to have an interview with you. Those two," he gestured to Tali and Alenko, "did not. So could you please respect their rights of privacy and personality?" His face was grim.

The camera immediately swung back to the Commander. "Ah, I'm sorry," Emily apologised. "I... you're right. You and only you agreed to an interview."

"So you'll cut the entire scene out, _right_?" Shepard asked. Or commanded, rather.

"...Of course, Commander," Emily agreed after some surprised hesitation. "Such a cut will be noticeable, but there's nothing that can be done about that, I guess. Well, I promised you anyway that this would be the last question, so – thanks for the interview, Commander."

"Commander?" Alenko spoke up. "It' a good thing the interview is over, because the meeting with Admiral Hackett is soon. Even so, we really should hurry now."

"Ah, right," Shepard answered, and looked at his omni-tool's watch. "Oh, damn. Right. Ah, the Admiral would probably not be pleased if I bring non-navy personal to the meeting, so I'll meet you here again, Tali? Shouldn't take all that long, and the Consort has said we can use the room for as long as we need it."

"Sure," Tali replied. It was not like she had anything else to do at the moment.

"Good," Shepard commented and rushed out, followed by Alenko.

Tali sighed and let herself slump into the couch. After a while, unable to think of anything else to do, she activated her omni-tool, to go through the long term maintenance plans for the _Normandy's _Tantalus Core. Maybe she could find some technical detail there to improve, and keep herself occupied that way. Since she had already gone over it several times as part of her regular work schedule, though, it was unlikely she would in fact find anything..

To her surprise, Emily was not leaving, either. She had activated her own omni-tool, and was typing furiously on it.

"That should do it," the reporter said after a while.

"Do what?" Tali asked, already becoming frustrated by finding no new way to improve the maintenance plans.

"I've 'leaked' the information about Commander Shepard's prisoners to various agencies on the Citadel," she explained and winked at the word 'leaked'. "The first reports and rumours should start... well, immediately." She smiled.

"That's good," Tali commented, unsure about what more she could say.

"You're the quarian who already accompanied him when he handed over Fist's files to me, aren't you?" Emily asked. "According to what I've heard about the Normandy, you are Tali'Zorah vas Rayya, is that correct?"

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, actually," Tali answered. "I will only become 'vas' after I've finished my pilgrimage."

"So, since you're one of his alien 'experts', you must work pretty closely with Commander Shepard," Emily commented. "How is he?"

"Still trying to get an interview with me as well?" Tali asked dryly. Emily's question annoyed her, but did not throw her off-balance, despite its suddenness.

Emily laughed in response. "I don't think that would be wise. I have a very good agreement with Commander Shepard, and I would hate to lose it. Besides, even though he dislikes the Spectre system, he is one, and I wouldn't want to draw the ire of a Spectre. No, just... trying to get a good picture of him. For when I'll do my report about him."

Tali realised that Emily might pose this question to quite many people, and not all would have a high opinion of Shepard. Maybe she could hence contribute to a more positive image of him. Thus, she decided to answer, though it took some time for her to find the right words.

"I would say he's a rare combination of very competent and caring," she said after some pondering.

"Caring?" Emily just asked, a friendly smile lightening up her face.

_...How did I bring myself into this? _How could she possibly explain what she had meant with that?

"He... ah..." the quarian began "empathises with people. He can get really angry about injustices done to people. Despite... well." _Despite how he grew up. But that's not for me to tell. _"And he really... cares about his crew," she hastily added.

"Sounds like a good commanding officer to have," Emily commented.

"He is," Tali agreed. Despite the fact that she should know better, she began to tell: "It was amazing to watch him on Feros. Not only the battlefield competence he showed, but how much he cared about not harming the colonists. Freeing them even, and giving them justice, even if it meant going against ExoGeni. He rarely seems to care who he goes against, I think he just ideally wants the best for everybody. And he's a very good conversation partner, both an engaging speaker and a good listener... Ah, I mean, he takes care to hold good contacts with most of his crew." _Did I just swoon about Shepard? Oh, keelah._

Emily smiled in response. "I see. He certainly seems to have made quite an impression of you."

Tali nervously shuffled her feet. She was not going to tell her just how much of an impression.

"But then, he is an outstanding person indeed," Emily continued, "What with being the first human Spectre and all his other achievements. No wonder he impresses the people around him!"

Trying to wrap the conversation up as quickly as possible, Tali commented: "I hope that helped you get a better picture of him."

"It certainly did," Emily said and laughed gently. "I must admit, I'm tempted to stay here and wait for his return, in the hope to get to know at least a bit of what he talked about with Admiral Hackett, but unfortunately, I don't have the time for that." She rose. "So thanks for the talk, Miss nar Rayya, I hope I'll see you again next time the _Normandy_ docks at the Citadel. Good bye!"


	12. Ch12: Meetings II

Shepard breathed out exhausted. He began to understand why the Presidium was designed the way it was. It was not just the snobism of the political elite, even though that surely played a part of it. However, after a straining if constructive meeting with Admiral Hackett, it felt good to walk through the light-trenched, open places of it, the Presidium Lake at his side, surrounded by marvellous white buildings. Considering how often diplomats went through even more exhausting talks and meetings, maybe there was some logic to place them all in such a luxuriously spaced and maintained location.

The only problem were the people frequenting the place. He shrugged thinking of the incident that had happened on his way, and entered the Asari Consort's residence again, making his way to the room where he hoped Tali would still wait for him. He was oddly pleased to find her there, still sitting at the table. _I suppose it's nice not only having to deal with admirals and ambassadors. _He had to admit that having Tali with him gave him some comfort. _After all, it's not like I can really talk to Alenko at the moment. _

He was a bit surprised to see a glass standing on the table in front of Tali, filled with a coloured liquid. It was a very classy class, but that impression was dampened a bit by a plug put over it. The effect was that the liquid was sealed in, with only a straw leading outwards.

This made Shepard laugh when he entered the room. "So I see you had a good time while we were away," he joked.

Tali's head rose when she heard the Commander speaking, then leaned sidewards. "An acolyte was friendly enough to provide me with this. It's dextro-amino and sterilised, yet was provided free of charge! Other than that, it was mostly a boring time. Admiral Hackett must have had quite a lot to say."

"Yeah, sorry for the delay," Shepard said and sat down at the table. "I ran into some people on the way back. An asari pleading for my help, and a human woman. Now she was strange. In open daylight on the Citadel she wanted to basically hire me to assassinate her partners in a crime syndicate. I handed her over to C-Sec, but that took some time. That reminds me – she managed to start an unauthorised file transfer to my omni-tool. Said it were the coordinates where her partners hide. My anti-virus program has isolated the file... could you take a look at it please?"

"Let me see," Tali said, and Shepard laid his arm on the table with activated omni-tool. Tali started up her own omni-tool and began typing on both. She always hesitated slightly before typing on Shepard's, touching his arm. The Commander had to admit it was an odd situation. Maybe he should've unequipped the omni-tool before. It was a strange feeling for him, too. He looked at how her three fingers worked the buttons and touch-screens. It looked strange, or rather it looked intriguing.

"It's legit" she said after a while. "Not a virus, a simple plain-text file. Seems to be planetary coordinates indeed. It also includes accusations against those partners of her, something about engaging in slavery. Furthermore, it includes descriptions of their bases' defences."

Shepard shrugged. "And she thinks I'll just so do her dirty work, based only on her say-so of those people engaging in slavery? Kinda deluded. Besides, we already have a highly important mission."

"The woman probably thought it worth a try," Tali commented, and continued humorously: "And then you arrested her, even though she wasn't even of ExoGeni!"

Shepard chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'm expanding my activities." He sighed. "I wish I could do the same to Ambassador Udina. I'm really not looking forwards to meeting with him, which is next on the agenda."

"From the sound of it, it seems you'd rather fight a room full of geth, husks and those 'creepers'," Tali said.

"Yeah..." Shepard agreed, voice trailing off. "So, ah, would you come along, maybe, please? I'll justify your presence with whatever. It might help me keep my head clear." He grinned lopsidedly. "Of course you don't need to. After all I've just explained just how bad this is probably going to be."

Tali crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I've not waited all this time just so you could send me away now." Then she uncrossed her arms and leaned forwards, speaking softer: "Of course I'll come along if... well, if you think it'll help you." She held her head oddly low saying that.

Shepard was relieved. It was strange; he had only known Tali for some weeks, and had spoken with her regularly for a shorter time even, yet he was sure that her coming along would make things better for him. And he very much appreciated her doing so for his sake.

Nonetheless he was anxious during the walk to the human embassy. He knew the meeting with Udina would end in a confrontation. Potentially in a pretty bad one, too. The last message he had had for Udina had been that the Ambassador could "go to hell". Even discounting that, Udina's insistence on hushing matters up in regards to ExoGeni's crime on Feros clashed with the Commander's own insistence on bringing the megacorporation to justice. Shepard thought it unlikely either side would stand down, so a heated confrontation seemed inevitable.

Of course, he hoped for the best, and hence decided to at least start politely. Standing in front of the embassy's entrance, he breathed out heavily and entered. Udina was waiting for him, sitting at his desk. Captain Anderson was standing besides the desk.

"Good day, Ambassador, Captain" Shepard greeted. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Commander Shepard," Udina said, only briefly acknowledging the Spectre's presence, and not at all acknowledging the presence of the other two people who had entered the room. Anderson merely nodded in greeting and let the Ambassador speak. "I assume you were in an emotionally bad state when you wished me to go to hell, so shortly after the battle on Feros?"

"Indeed," Shepard admitted. "I should've chosen better wording." He would start out politely, but he would not offer an apology. Not to somebody thinking ExoGeni's crimes should be hushed up. "But never mind the formulation, I still stand to what I said, if not to how I said it."

"That's unacceptable!" Udina stated firmly "And now the local newsnets are suddenly full with information about your prisoners!"

_Good. Emily has done her work. "_Hm, seems like a leak," Shepard commented innocently. "I should investigate it once I return to my ship."

"You better should indeed," Udina said. "This is problematic. Too much attention drawn to the case limits our options!"

"I don't see what options there are," Shepard replied. He tried to remain as calm and objective as possible, but the ambassador's behaviour already began to grate on him. "ExoGeni needs to stand trial for its crimes."

"There is no need to make a media spectacle out of the whole case," Udina commented "It would be most efficient if you simply handled your prisoners over to the embassy, and we can process the case from there then."

Udina was apparently unwilling to directly order him to release the prisoners, instead putting on a show. Playing along, Shepard answered: "I don't think the embassy is equipped and staffed for that, Ambassador. Besides, given the importance of the accusations they need to be tried somewhere central. On Earth, for example."

"Earth?" Udina asked. "What do you want there?"

_Time to end this façade. _Shepard grinned when he answered: "Create a media spectacle."

"What?" Udina blurted out, "So you're responsible for the leaks, too."

Shepard defiantly crossed his arms. It was time to speak plain text. "You know damn well what would happen if I simply quietly turned over Jeong and Ross to you, _Ambassador._" He spat out the title. "The whole thing would just be hushed up. I won't allow that."

"_You _won't allow that?" Udina shouted, further heating up the conversation. "And who exactly gave you the right to decide that?"

"What's there to decide?" Shepard asked, "I'm just making sure justice is served."

Captain Anderson spoke up and intervened on Shepard's side: "The Commander is right. We have a responsibility to the people of Zhu's Hope. We owe it to them that justice is done."

"Maybe," Udina allowed curtly, "But what about our position in the galaxy? What about humanity? ExoGeni ensures our continued expansion into space."

"It's exactly humanity I'm thinking of," Shepard replied. "Humans. Like the colonists of Zhu's Hope."

"I assure you, had we known about the Thorian, we'd never have allowed ExoGeni to settle Feros", Udina stated in a calmer voice.

_Obviously trying to placate me. After all he wants something from me, not the other way round. _However it only enraged Shepard further, who now began to shout himself: "Oh great! That's reassuring to know! So ExoGeni can try to kill entire colonies, because it's not like they have to fear any consequences. Might as well try if there's profit in it! Do you have any concepts of ethics at all?" _Oops. And here we cross the line to personal attacks. Bah, whatever, he had it coming._

"You have to think of humanity's position in the galaxy," Udina stated, almost pleading but firm. "If ExoGeni is hurt this will set our expansion program back years! If ExoGeni falters, then human expansion among the stars will come to a grinding halt!"

"Humanity's position in the galaxy?" Shepard asked rhetorically, "To me, right now, that seems to be 'can be sacrificed at any time by the whims of a megacorporation or the Alliance'. I _will _protect humanity - and if need be from those megacorps or the government, too!"

"Commander, please," Anderson intervened again. "You're right, but there is the issue of galactic politics to consider. There needs to be a trial, but we also need to think of the consequences,"

"Indeed, Captain," Udina agreed and turned to Shepard again: "I understand your position, Commander. But we must work towards achieving the same standing as the Council races."

"Maybe," Shepard admitted, quieter now, but instead gravely serious. "But I won't let you or anybody sacrifice innocents towards that end. Not if I can help it."

This seemed to enrage Udina. "Somebody has to make the hard decisions," he stated, "That's just how galactic politics are."

"Hard decisions," Shepard scoffed. "About the lives of _other _people!"

"Well, it's obvious you are not capable of doing so!" the ambassador replied. His volume rose to almost shouting levels.. "It's a good thing you saved that colony, but humanity wouldn't be helped now if ExoGeni is hurt or even goes down!"

"Humanity?" Shepard replied angrily. "It seems you see humanity as little more than tools, tools in your own race for status!" The Commander was definitely shouting now. "Humanity is not some abstract ideal, it's more – it's the entirety of human beings! If you hurt humans, you hurt humanity. If you sacrifice colonies for some 'greater good' you hurt humanity. It's as easy as that!" _And now the conversation goes down the drain. It was indeed inevitable._

"Those may be your personal views, but it's _not for you to decide!_" Udina answered, shouting the last part right into Shepard's face. Anderson appeared as if he wanted to say something, but then thought better of it, while Alenko and Tali held their heads low, unsure what to do in this shouting match. All three probably felt awkward and maybe even frightened to be caught between the fronts._ "_You may see humanity as little more than the human masses, but I see it as something that must rise to greatness!"

"Ah, but it is for you to decide, _Ambassador_?" Shepard answered, losing even the last vestiges of respect for Udina. "For you and the megacorps to decide about the lives of others, yes? Rise to greatness, eh? You mean that you and the other politicians want to play great power, and hey, if 1000 lives have to be sacrificed for that, so be it! If children..." He stopped himself there. He had wanted to include BAaT in his rant, but any information on it was classified. Technically, Alenko had acted illegally in telling him, and he did not want to get the Lieutenant into trouble. Instead he continued: "If even more thousands have to live in impoverished conditions on the colonies, constantly preyed upon by raiders, so be it! Main thing is that _you _can stand proudly in front of the Council, _right? _That's what it's all about."

"I merely represent humanity" Udina defended himself. "This is about something greater than you or me. It's about humanity - "

"Oh shut up!" Shepard rudely interrupted Udina, his rage boiling over, "Somebody willing to let ExoGeni get away with planned mass murder is in no position to talk about humanity!"

"Again - if you see humanity as nothing more than teeming masses of people, then fine," Udina stated. "But that is not the stance of the Alliance government. It isn't _your_ decision to make!"

"_You _wanted a Spectre," Shepard said, pointing towards the ambassador, "so now deal with me and my decisions! Of course you never _really_ wanted that, right? You never wanted an independently acting agent, but a puppet whose strings you could pluck! You wanted somebody who can execute your decisions on the battlefield. Well for that to happen I'm afraid you have to go the battlefield yourself. I'm not your puppet, and I _will_ protect humanity, _humans_, from everything including their own government if need be!"

"You're dangerously out of control, Shepard!" Udina shouted, uncomfortably loud. Apparently he was coming dangerously close of losing any self-restraint.

"Well, he _is _a Spectre, but..." Anderson began calmly, but even he could not salvage the conversation any more.

"Yes, outside _your_ control!" Shepard replied loudly to Udina, ignoring Anderson. "So what do you want to do about it? You can't put me on trial, not even by a military tribunal. I'm a Spectre, I can't be tried." _To hell with my restraints. Sometimes being a Spectre is quite nice._

"But we could discharge you from the military and take the _Normandy_ from you," Udina threatened. Anderson looked quite shocked at that notion.

_A hollow threat and he knows it. However, better if he's reminded of it. "_Ah, yes, you could do that" Shepard agreed. "But I _am_ the only human Spectre, and currently probably the human best informed about the activities of Saren and the geth. If I don't have the _Normandy_ then who will stop the geth attacks on the Traverse colonies? I'd try, but I wouldn't have the means any more."

"And so you use your advantaged situation to get your way," Udina accused the Commander. "You use it to strong-arm me, to strong-arm the Alliance! So that you can sabotage human expansion in the galaxy!"

"I'm just doing my job, serving justice, protecting humanity, _humans_ from attacks and conspiracies," Shepard said. "It's _you_ who wants to use unethical means to deny justice!"

"I don't think your tone is helping, Commander," Anderson commented, "Even if your cause is just."

Shepard didn't answer, but instead focused on Udina, who had remained silent. The ambassador's forehead was furrowed, his mouth was working, his teeth were gnashing. After a while he said in a deadly calm manner: "This will have consequences, Shepard. You're right, we can't move against you right now. But the Alliance won't forget this"

"And I won't forget what the Alliance has done and is doing!" Shepard hissed in response, the first thing that came to his mind.

"Are you threatening me?" Udina asked, raising his voice again.

Shepard laid all the contempt he could into his answer: "You're beneath any threats" And with that he turned around and left the embassy, not bothering to hear Udina reply, not even bothering hear what Captain Anderson might have to say.

He walked large steps, trying to get away from the embassy as quickly as possible. He did not care for any people in his path; they quickly removed themselves after looking in his face and then seeing the weapons he carried. It was just as he had feared; now rage boiled inside him. Worse, all those alien emotions of sadness and despair he could feel since having gotten the Cipher rose inside in his mind, too. He stopped at the Presidium Lake, gripping the railing tightly, bending forwards and breathed in and out several times, trying to calm down.

Tali and Alenko took some time until they caught up to him. He turned his head towards them and smiled humourlessly. "I did say this would turn out badly, didn't I?" he asked bitterly.

Tali and Alenko looked at each other and the Lieutenant answered: "Uh, yes, sir." After a while he added: "I don't want to... well. I understand why you did it, Commander, but do you think it's wise to provoke both the Council and the Alliance?"

Shepard pushed himself away from the railing, turned towards Alenko and shook his head. "Probably not, no," he answered. "However... goddamn! One wants to hush up Saren's involvement in the Eden Prime attack, never mind the thousands of deaths he has caused, and the other want to hush up ExoGeni having had plans to kill hundreds of people! Surely that _can't _be right, or is it?" He looked pleadingly at Tali and Alenko, awaiting some confirmation.

"No, Commander," Tali replied shortly and decisively

"I understand why you do it, sir" Alenko said, "and you're right. I'm behind you on this, ExoGeni needs to fall, or at least to hurt. I... well, I just want you to be careful not to attack too many enemies at once." He paused, and added: "I, ah, hope I haven't spoken out of line, sir."

Shepard shook his head. "No you haven't, Lieutenant. I appreciate your advice. We need to speak anyway, about... well, you know. However, not now, now my head is too full of other things. I think now I need to calm down first. You two can return to the Normandy, if you wish."

Alenko nodded, and left. Tali, however, remained where she was, even if she looked a bit insecure. Her hands were at her waist, and her fingers dancing with each other. Shepard merely raised an eyebrow at her continued presence.

"Are you still trying to get rid of me?" she joked, but she did not sound as secure as before. "If I leave you alone now you might try to storm and plunder the embassy and abduct Udina. I don't think the Council would approve of that."

Despite all the anger still inside him, Shepard had to laugh. _She always has the right words. _"I don't know, I don't think the Council much likes him, either," he joked along. "However, you just might have a point. So you're my chaperone now?"

"Somebody has to, it seems," she replied.

Shepard sighed and shook his head. He still felt angry and down. "Seems like I need to find... less destructive ways then to get rid of my aggressions now."

Tali visibly hesitated, but after a while managed to suggest: "You need to find some distractions from your problems. It can't be healthy always taking that burden with you."

"Oh? And what would you suggest?" Shepard asked. He was actually curious now. Taking the initiative like that seemed somewhat unlike Tali. Not that it was bad thing.

"Ah..." Tali began unsurely, "Well if you ask me like that." She paused again, and her fingers twiddled with increasing speed. But then an idea seemed to strike her. "Why don't we go to Chora's Den? It has people, loud music, dancers, surely a good place to rid your mind of unpleasant thoughts."

"Chora's Den?" Shepard asked surprised, "Fist's bar?"

"Fist is dead," Tali replied, "So why not?"

Shepard hesitated, but could in truth find no reason why not to go. He had no pressing duties any more, and with all the tumult in his mind he doubted he could get any work done right now anyway. Still, it was an odd thought. Tali was one of the few squad members who had a positive opinion of bars like Chora's Den. However, going to actually visit it was something else. _Besides, did she just ask me out?_

But then he shrugged. There really was no reason not to go. "Sure, why not," he said.

"Great!" Tali answered surprisingly enthusiastically. Shepard suppressed a chuckle; he didn't want to embarrass the quarian.

As they entered the public transport system, Tali said: "I think it's admirable how you fight for justice at several fronts." She sounded uncomfortable, but continued: "However, Lieutenant Alenko may have had a point. At the moment you're fighting a three fronts war."

"At the least, yes," Shepard replied. He felt a bit uncomfortable himself, about the compliment he had just received. He did not quite know what to think about it. "However, somebody just has to! If I don't speak up for Zhu's Hope, or the victims at Eden Prime, then who will?"

Tali lowered her head a bit and leaned it to the side. _I should pay closer attention to quarian gestics. Maybe I can find something on the extranet on what they mean. _"You're right of course," she said, "And I'm glad it's you." She paused, then rose her head again and hastily added: "I mean, you seem to get the job done!"

_Just what's up with her? Come to think of it – she's pretty bad in receiving compliments, so probably she's just as inexperienced in giving them. Maybe she wants to cheer me up with those compliments or something..._

He smiled at her in response, but did not say anything. The quiet continued until the shuttle landed at a place in the Lower Wards, only a short walk away from Chora's Den. The contrast to the Presidium was stark. It was much more apparent here that they were in a space station. A lights filled ceiling spanned over the entire plaza they had landed on, and corridors passed through it on several levels. There was nothing like the dignified architecture of the Presidium here. Instead, every cubic centimetre of space seemed to be constantly used and reused, with shop fronts, neon lights, emporiums, cafés and so much more, all chaotically mashed together and vying for attention. Between them masses of people of all known races went about their business.

The shops and bars and public life continued into some corridors, which were choke full with people, masses blocking the way. Others, though, were smaller, having none of the décor of the plaza. Those were minimalist and utilitarian in design, almost sterile, corridors that could as well be located on Jump Zero or Arcturus Station. It was through such a corridor, plated in grey and blue, that Shepard and Tali walked towards Chora's Den.

There were several ways to reach the bar, which basically was located in the middle of a labyrinth of corridors and stairs. In one of the less frequented ones Fist had tried to set up a trap for Tali. Even though that was only some weeks ago, to Shepard it seemed like it had been an eternity.

The corridor was mostly empty of people, though sometimes somebody passed by or waited at a crossing. It was rare but not surprising to see other people here. As everywhere else on the Citadel, most belonged to the Council races – asari, salarians and turians. However, they also passed by a very massive elcor, and in some distance Shepard could see a human leaning at the wall. That person even looked somewhat familiar, but Shepard could not link anybody he know to the figure. He shrugged and let it go.

"I can't believe we're really going to Chora's Den," he said to Tali. He grinned lopsidedly.

Tali hesitated before replying: "We could also go to some other place."

"Nah, it's fine," Shepard reassured her. "Though you must be the only one on the _Normandy_ who actually likes the place. Well, maybe except for Wrex."

"I don't see why," Tali stated. "It has music, dance, lights, people. It's much more pulsating with life than such places as Flux."

"Hah, yeah, 'dance'," Shepard laughed and then looked up again. They had come near the man leaning at the wall. _Wait a moment he looks like... _"I don't think choreography is on the mind of either the 'dancers' or the audience!" _That can't be him!_

"Regardless, it's a form of dance I hadn't seen before entering the bar," Tali said. However, Shepard's attention was elsewhere, focused on the man in front of them. The Commander recognised him._It's Finch! What the hell is he doing here?_ Unaware of that, Tali continued: "So of course it's interesting to me, no matter what its purpose is supposed to..."

She was cut off by Finch. Totally ignoring her, he turned to Shepard.

"Hey Shepard," he said. The Commander was of a mind to simply let him stand there and walk on, leaving him behind like he had left behind his entire past. However, he was too shocked to see him here, and morbidly curious to know what he wanted, so he stopped, as did consequently Tali. "They told me it was you, but I didn't believe it. The first human Spectre in history, and it turns out it's our good old friend Shepard, all grown up to be a soldier."

"Finch?" Shepard blurted out. "What the hell are you doing on the Citadel?" He had not seen the guy any more since his gang days on Earth. When he had left his gang, the Tenth Street Reds, Finch still had been a member in good standing. He was worried to see him here now. Tali in the meanwhile seemed to intensively look at both men, turning her head back and forth.

"Oh, maybe I just wanted to say hello to you," Finch replied. He sounded just as oily as Shepard had remembered him, "Talk about the good old times, catch up, you know stuff like that. The vids hardly ever mention you were one of us, so I thought maybe you wanted to be reminded of that." He gave Tali a look laced with utter contempt.

_Oh, so that's it. _Finch, or anybody else from the old gang would never go all the way to the Citadel to remind him of his past, if they did not want something from Shepard. "It's not exactly secret knowledge," he replied gruffly. "It's all in my bio, publicly accessible. What do you want Finch? I'm appointed a Spectre and already on my next stay on the Citadel you remind me of my past?"

"Hey, I don't want to cause trouble!" Finch claimed, "But yes, it does seem you have some pull with the aliens now, doesn't it?" He stared at Tali again while saying so, almost hatefully "So, all we want is a favour. For old time's sake, nothing more."

"So that's it?" Shepard answered, increasingly hostile, "You hear I'm a Spectre, and immediately you try to recruit me for one of your jobs as soon as I've returned to port. Have to give you credit on your speed, Finch, but I'm not in the streets of New York any more. I don't play the favours game any more."

"But you were once, running with a gang," Finch reminded him. He didn't become angry or aggressive, he just kept sounding annoyingly smug. He had always been one of the talkers in the gang. In fact that had made him one of the people Shepard had liked back then; at least he had not been a macho brute like so many others. "That's your best chance to cut off your past. See it as a parting gift to us."

"I don't owe you anything," Shepard said icily. He did not like at all where the conversation was going.

"If it weren't for us you'd never have made it back then, and we both know it," Finch stated, "We looked after each other back in the day, and hey, we thought you might at least still do that. Help a Red out of trouble."

Finch's claim was true enough. Until it all had fallen apart in the end, the Tenth Street Reds had actually been one of the less brutal gangs in the area, at least to their own members. Their initiation rituals had not been nearly as brutal or humiliating as the ones of the surrounding gangs, there had been less dominance quarrels inside the group, and without their help Shepard most likely would not have survived street life. However, that didn't mean the gang had been truly nice to its members, just less brutal in its methods. In the end, everybody had looked out only for their personal gain. And towards outsiders and victims the Reds had been just as brutal as every other gang.

Besides, those days were over. "Trouble he has surely brought onto himself. Or she on herself," Shepard answered.

"None of us is clear and innocent, Shepard," Finch said. "Not you, either. You know how it goes, on the streets you have little chance if you want to make it out, or even only survive. So we all do some little crime on the side."

Unfortunately, that was all too true, too. Shepard had not left the streets with clean hands, either, and he knew how hard life could be there. He knew how street life made everybody guilty. He did not answer.

"Listen, Shepard," Finch continued, "I'll just tell you the case, and then you can do whatever, right? This guy, Kurt Weisman, he became a member after your time, but now he has been arrested by the turians. You have authority and connections now, don't you? So surely you could use them now to help one of us. You know, for all the times back then when we had helped you."

"By the turians?" Shepard asked surprised. "What the hell was a Tenth Street Red doing in turian space?"

"The Reds have expanded since your time," Finch explained. "We're doing salvage now, a little shipping here and there, that kind of thing. And yeah, this has us be all over the place. The Citadel, turian space, and so on."

"So you're doing smuggling now," Shepard deduced.

"Well, you can hardly expect us to compete with the established transport megacorps, now can you?" Finch asked rhetorically. "Sure, maybe some of us carry a little bit of Red Sand on the side, but what of it? But you know how the turians are. They just declared Weisman a problem and are shipping him off to face trial. Okay, so maybe he didn't play entirely by the rules, but turian prison terms? He doesn't deserve that!"

Shepard answered: "The turian conceptions of justice and punishment are hardly ideal...

"No kidding," Tali muttered.

The Commander wondered what she thought about this. However, he couldn't dwell on that and continued without missing a beat: "...but I doubt your motives are entirely humanitarian, either. You just want to employ my new authority to spring one of your people."

"Hey, nothing like that!" Finch defended himself, "We, ah, just wanted to see what you could do, that maybe you could achieve something..."

"Yeah, right," Shepard answered sarcastically. He had become quite fed up with the gangster's weaseling. "Listen, Finch, my gang days are over. I want to have nothing to do with it any more."

"Suit yourself, Shepard," Finch said, "We thought you'd remember how we always helped each other in the Reds. We thought I could remind you of it, that you'd remember at least that. Maybe now I need to remind others how your days in the Reds were. Do this for us, and you never see any of us ever again. We can part on amicable terms, and that's the best for all involved. We don't want a Spectre as enemy, but I can tell you, you also don't want the Tenth Street Reds as enemies."

Rage boiled inside Shepard at this thinly veiled threat, but he managed to keep it down. "Showing your true face now, eh, Finch? That's beneath my notice. Now get out of my way."

"Fine. As said, your choice," Finch allowed. "Just remember the consequences. You can talk to the turian guard, a guy over at Chora's Den, or you might have a little PR problem. Either way, I'm outta here. Bye, Shepard." And with that he straightened from his position and walked away, towards the plaza Shepard and Tali had come from.

Shepard breathed out. _Fuck. _He kind of wished Tali had not seen this scene. Not because he was worried about the image she had of him, not really. He had told her in rough outlines about his past, after all. However, now that he thought of the matter, their conversations had been something bright and almost cherished for him. And in recent days, especially now, she had always been at his side when he had needed support or distraction. He feared that his past, now so blatantly presented to Tali, could somehow poison that. _My misspent youth has destroyed enough already. _An awkward silence ensued.

_Fuck it. Finch thinks he can threaten me? He'll see how much I care about his threats._

"Come on, Tali," he said, "if Finch wants us to go to Chora's Den, then let's go there."

As they walked, he asked her: "You're probably wondering what the hell just happened?"

"I could gather enough," she replied, "one of your former fellow gang members, trying to blackmail you into springing somebody from prison by threatening to make your past public. And you don't sound like you will let yourself be blackmailed." She sounded approving, but since he could not see the facial expression accompanying what she had said it was difficult to say.

Shepard was surprised. There had been pretty many facts in the conversation, but Tali also seemed to be highly observant about his response. He shrugged amused. "Yeah, I guess that's the gist of it. What Finch doesn't seem to realise is that it's all _already _public, so to hell with his threats. Who the hell does he think he is anyway?"

Chora's Den seemed to have survived the deadly change in ownership without any problems. It was just like the last time Shepard had visited during open hours. The last time he had visited it, period, Fist had tried to make it a fortress for his personal safety, but any signs of Shepard's assault on it back then seemed to have been removed. A loud, bass heavy music filled the room, everything was bathed in red light, and asari dancers were presenting blue and purple skin on the large, central tribune, or on smaller ones dispersed all over the bar.

It was not exactly high-brow entertainment, but Tali seemed to prefer it that way, and Shepard had to admit he could see why. It was difficult to think of problems here, indeed it was difficult to think of anything instead of getting lost in the moment. He wondered what a turian guard was doing here. At least he was easy to find – while many turians were here, only one did not seem to enjoy the view, the music or some drink, instead standing very straight, looking a bit lost and out of place.

Shepard approached him and asked: "You have a prisoner named Kurt Weisman?"

"Oh, you're the new Spectre, aren't you?" the turian answered. "The first human one, too. It'll be interesting to see whether a human can handle such a status. In any case, yes, the xenophobe is in my custody. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to give you a warning," Shepard answered, ignoring the jab at him. _Are all turians like that? Well, all turians except Garrus, that is._ "Some associate of his tried to blackmail me into using my Spectre authority to free him. Seems like some friends of his have come onto the station."

"I understand," the turian replied. "Weisman was too well supplied to be acting alone. Thanks for the warning, we'll increase the guard on the cell."

"Why do you call him a xenophobe, anyway?" Shepard asked.

"The human acknowledged his affiliation with several anti-alien organisations," the guard answered. "His crime specifically targeted turians as a species. It was a hate crime and will be treated as such."

"Exactly what was his crime?" Shepard inquired further. He noticed a movement on the edge of his vision field.

"He attempted to poison medical cargo being sent to a turian colony to treat an outbreak of a dangerous disease," the turian explained, "if he had succeeded, millions would have died. That human is a dangerous xenophobe!"

"Oh keelah!" Tali exclaimed.

"What?" Shepard shouted appalled. "Being xenophobe seems to be the least of it! That rather sounds like an attempted genocide!" _And Finch wanted me to free him. As if he had been on a Reds' mission. Just what have they become?_

"You humans have a tendency to over-dramatize..." the turian guard began, but stopped when Shepard suddenly swirled around, drawing his pistol in one smooth move. Finch was standing there, and the Commander now directly aimed at him.

However, the gangster seemed to be unimpressed by that. "I knew you'd rat us Shepard," he said. "Now it's payback time. When we're through telling our story, the aliens will all know what the first human Spectre really is."

Shepard did not lower his pistol. "You tried to blackmail me into freeing an attempted mass murderer," he answered. "Just what have the Tenth Street Reds become?"

Finch was still not impressed, and did not seem to feel any remorse, either. "And you were part of us, once," he replied, "Your alien friends won't like you so much when they hear what your gang did. Or does."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh. His 'alien friends' already did not like him to begin with, and would even less once his interview with Emily Wong would hit the extranet. Still, it was something the Council could use against him, so he had to be careful.

"My bio is on public record," he said, "everyone knows I ran with gangs as a kid. And when I was with the Reds, it was just a gang indeed. Just when exactly did you become a terrorist Earth First group?"

"We're a _human_ group now, and we've got the backers to handle off-world missions," Finch claimed. "But of course the vids won't make that distinction. I can find a dozen Reds who'll swear you killed aliens for fun. Who's going to believe you then?"

"The same Shepard who walks around on the Citadel together with a quarian, a turian or even a krogan?" Tali asked. She stood half-sideway to Finch, crossed her arms, cocked her head up and looked at him over her shoulder. "I _think_ your plan has a flaw."

Shepard laughed at that and grinned. _Nice, Tali._ "So you're a 'human group' eh? And that's why you target the first human Spectre. Yeah, smart move."

"The Spectre's right," the turian guard agreed. "This is humanity's chance to prove themselves. There's even talk of earning a council seat."

Finch looked at the turian with utter disgust and hate. "Of course you'd side with Shepard," he told the guard. "You want somebody who's in bed with your kind. What use is a human Spectre if he sells us out to the aliens?"

"I can tell you, Finch," Shepard replied. "It's only thanks to there being a human Spectre that you're even still alive. I think a turian Spectre would've already shot you."

"Only too true," the guard commented.

"Yeah, and that's why we want aliens off of Earth, and why we want the Council to stay out of humanity's business," Finch replied. Ironically, Shepard could not fully disagree, given his own negative opinion on the Spectre system "So let's see how long you will stay a Spectre once the aliens have learnt of your past."

"You think I _care_ what the aliens think of me?" Shepard asked. His patience was running very thin.

"But this is your career!" Finch exclaimed disbelieving, "You'd throw it all away like that?"

Shepard grabbed Finch at the shoulder, pulled him towards himself and held the pistol at his head. "Listen, Finch. You know my next destination? Earth. And I'm a Spectre. I can go to the streets of New York again and shoot every Red I see with no legal repercussions whatsoever. I think that makes _your_ threats somewhat laughable. You better think carefully about going through with them." He let go of the gangster again. He was bluffing, of course, but Finch had no way of knowing that.

"Fine," Finch replied, "I get it. You're not a Red. Maybe you never were."

He turned to go, but Shepard grabbed his shoulder again. "And speaking of which, as a Spectre it's my duty to uphold security in Citadel space. You tried to get an attempted mass murderer sprung, hell maybe you even were involved in the complot. You're not getting away like that. You're arrested."

Finch struggled a bit at first, but it was a purely instinctive reaction. He offered no further resistance beyond that.

"Arrest him?" the turian guard asked. "That man is a dangerous xenophobe who tried to blackmail a Spectre. And you can legally kill him. Just shoot him!"

"Why?" Shepard asked icily, "To prove I have what it takes to be a Spectre? I'm not shooting anybody just to fulfil your expectations." _I won't abuse my Spectre powers. Not against people for whom there is a regular security and juridical system, anyway. _

"So I see," the turian replied. "It will be interesting how the first human Spectre will turn out to be. Maybe there is some hope for you, human. Are you going to turn your old friend over to us?"

"Yeah, do it," Finch mock-urged, "Make your betrayal complete!"

Shepard shook his head. "This is C-Sec jurisdiction. If they find out he was involved directly in Weisman's crimes, they can then turn him over to you."

The turian did not say anything in reply, but Shepard thought he heard a faint, disapproving growl. He sighed. This visit to here had turned out way worse than he had planned. He let his head hang low and shook it. _Damn it. _All the adrenaline that had built up during the confrontation seemed to flee him; his entire anger just disappeared, as if drained out of him. Shepard came down from an emotional high, and now feared falling into an emotional pit. He had after all just sold out his former gang and arrested one of them. His days with them were long over, but he did not doubt it would still affect him.

He was somewhat surprised when Tali lightly touched his arm as a gesture of reassurance, nodding approvingly. He smiled back. Despite the worries he had had earlier, he was glad now she was at his side. As she had been during many difficult things in recent time. And even though neither said a word, they seemed to understand each other.

Fortunately, Chora's Den was known as a hang-out for potential troublemakers, a reputation that had only become worse since Shepard had started a shoot-out here during his last visit. Thus, C-Sec was patrolling the area around it very frequently, allowing Shepard to get rid of Finch very quickly by turning him over to one of those patrols.

He entered the establishment again and took a seat at the bar, shaking his head. Tali took a seat next to him. Shepard looked at her and said with an ironic, sad smile: "So much for coming here to relax, eh?"

"We're still here," Tali pointed out.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Shepard apologised. It was true. He was glad she had been at his side during all this, but it must have been rather weird for her.

"What I saw was you doing the right thing," Tali insisted firmly, but also with a faint hint of humour that disagreed with Shepard's estimation. Mock-seriously she added: "So don't descend into too much self-pity."

Practically against his own will Shepard had to laugh. "Well, maybe," he admitted, but then sighed again. "It still pretty much ruined our visit here."

"The music is still playing and the dancers... or 'dancers' are still dancing," Tali said. A sudden enthusiasm seemed to grab her. "This is no place to be gloom. Grab a drink and come on!"

And so Shepard did. He ordered a drink, a cocktail of the sort his old drill instructor would probably have called 'something fruity with an umbrella' or 'something only asari drink and not real humans', and then stood up from his seat, accompanying Tali to an open space. Or at least more or less open – the bar was full of people and nearly overcrowded.

Tali seemed to like it that way, though. The two found a spot for themselves, and she bounced on her feet, full of enthusiasm. Shepard was smiling at how she appeared to enjoy the atmosphere.

Light flickered through the masses of people, painting them red or blue. It was odd to see Tali coloured like that, the light reflecting from her visor. Her bouncing became more coordinated. She began to use her arms, and moved them in a rhythmic manner, a rhythm that had soon captured her whole body.

_Dancers are highly respected in quarian society,_ Shepard remembered. Tali had told him she was at best an amateur at it, and probably even way below average. However, at the moment that did not seem to be the case to Shepard at all. Even though people were all around them, limiting their space, this did not hinder her. Her movements were exact, never using up more space than strictly necessary. _A very quarian dance, I guess._

And a very enchanting one. The music, the light falling on Tali, her movements,her curves... that all had an effect on Shepard. His heart began to beat faster. He remembered again how much time the two had spent recently and how she had always been there to cheer him up or support him. He realised how he had felt safe enough to talk with her about pretty much everything, even if tales of his youth had been rare.

And now she was dancing here, in front of him, in a manner that made Shepard all forget about the asari 'dancers' on the main tribune. Mostly for her own amusement, he did not doubt; she seemed to be losing herself in the dance. However, it was still quite a sight.

_Amazing. Enchanting._


	13. Ch13: Earth

Shepard paced through the conference room, waiting for it to fill up. As soon as the _Normandy_ had left the Citadel he had called a meeting of her officers, plus Tali as the resident geth expert. The ship had gotten new orders, concerning primarily the situation in the Armstrong Nebula, and they needed to be discussed.

It was a good feeling to be in space again, to have the _Normandy_ flying towards its next destination, to be on the move again. Not that one could actually get a sense of movement outside the cockpit. Neither could one hear the engines working, to the great dismay of Tali when she had come aboard. However, the pure knowledge that the ship was getting away from the Citadel and everything that happened there at faster-than-light speeds was enough for Shepard.

It had been a productive stay. Shepard had gotten new orders and new supplies; and Hackett had also promised aid in the conspiracy surrounding Admiral Kahoku's dead recon unit. However, it had _felt_ like a disaster to Shepard. He had gotten in a shouting match with Udina, and had then been forced to arrest one of his former fellow gang members, from his time as a Tenth Street Red. Emotionally, the visit had been hard on him.

At least that day had not ended a _complete_ disaster. Shepard still pondered what to think about his and Tali's visit to Chora's Den. It was a positive memory, but it was also confusing. The visit had, quite literally, made Tali appear in a new light for him. It had been a very strange sensation, a magic of the moment. She had been lost entirely in dance, bathed in red and blue light. Even only the visual memories of it still perplexed Shepard. It certainly had been a new experience.

In the two days afterwards, the _Normandy_ had been fully resupplied. Shepard had feared that after all the emotional stress the alien feelings that persisted in the back of his mind since he had gotten the Cipher would come up again, indisposing him, but strangely that had not been so. Maybe the positive experiences had balanced out all the stress. Still, Shepard had taken it slow, relaxed most of the time and basically had prescribed himself free time.

It had been odd meeting with Tali during their shared free time. There was quite a contrast between how he experienced Tali during their conversations, and how he had experienced her at Chora's Den. In his regular interactions with her nothing seemed to have changed, yet at Chora's Den something had definitely been different.

There was a non-formed proto-thought in the back of his mind, about what this episode at Chora's Den had been, but Shepard's subconsciousness did not even dare fully form the thought, let alone actually thinking it. So it remained just a vague nagging in his mind.

Kaidan was the first officer to join Shepard in the Conference Room. They exchanged a nod, but did not say anything. _It's well past time we clear up the ice between us._ However, that had not yet happened. _There's more than enough time for a clearing talk now. Still, the sooner the better. _The _Normandy_ would be in space for quite some time, and in its limited space it was difficult avoiding each other.

Earth was the next destination of the _Normandy_, with a planned stop at Eden Prime. It was largely a propaganda campaign, so to say, aimed at whipping up public attention and preparing the people for Emily Wong's report on ExoGeni's atrocities. That way, Shepard wanted to make sure that the Alliance could not simply hush those crimes up. If everything went right, by the time the ship would reach Earth the extranet would be saturated with the accusations against the megacorporation, and with the evidence behind it, too, forcing the authorities to investigate and possibly try ExoGeni.

Shepard grinned at that thought. _Let Udina fume, ExoGeni's going down._ Then again, Udina was constantly fuming anyway. In a twisted way that even made him a kindred spirit to Shepard...

The Commander dropped that thought when he saw Adams and Tali entering. He had heard about how she and some other people from Engineering had spent the last night on the Citadel at Flux. Which apparently had given her a further chance to dance. _At least crew morale won't be a problem. _

XO Pressly was the last person to enter, hastily and with an apologetic smile. Now everybody was present and on their seats.

Shepard took a seat, too, leaned forwards and began: "Right. Good to see everybody could make it." He looked at Pressly with a good-natured grin. "The _Normandy_'s on the move again, and I need to discuss the orders for her with you." He breathed out and continued: "On Feros, we found data about a geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, outposts they intent to use as base for an invasion of Citadel Space." So much they already knew, it was an introduction. "The Alliance Navy quickly took counter-measures. They assembled a fleet as quickly as they could in those outlying parts of the Traverse, and tried to eradicate the geth presence... however, they failed. Geth ships have beaten back the attack." He paused there, to let these news sink in. The humans all looked shocked, and Tali shuffled uncomfortably.

"Thus, the Navy Command has drawn up a new strategy to deal with the problem, one where we figure in prominently," Shepard continued. "The Alliance is currently drawing ships together for a second assault. However, the objective this time will merely be to keep the geth ships in the region occupied. Meanwhile, the _Normandy_ will make use of her stealth capabilities and slip by, to take out several outposts deemed crucial by commando operations."

Again, Shepard gave his audience a pause to let that sink in. Pressly used that pause to comment: "That sounds risky, sir. Risky, but doable."

Shepard nodded, appreciating his XO's morale. "For the first time in quite a while we're on an exact time schedule. The fleet will be ready in somewhat more than a week. By then we'll have to be at the rally point at Attican Beta, too. However, that week we're still free to spend as we see fit."

Alenko looked around in the room unsurely, and then asked: "Sorry, sir, but I suppose somebody has to say it. Call it being the devil's advocate, but isn't the _Normandy_ still assigned to your person, for the purpose of tracking down Saren?"

Shepard nodded again. He was glad somebody had brought that up, because it was indeed true, and hence needed to be discussed. "Correct, Lieutenant," Shepard agreed, "Admiral Hackett couldn't give orders to me; he had to request my aid. However, I've decided to lend it to him. Saren's a danger to the whole galaxy, even without the Reapers theory... and if the Reapers really exist he's even a terribly deadly danger to the whole galaxy." Shepard was utterly convinced that the Reapers existed, but he had to made allowances for alternate opinions. "However, the geth plan to use the Armstrong bases to invade Citadel Space. Maybe they aren't as omnicidal as the Reapers, but this would still be nearly as catastrophic. It's a second danger that has suddenly arisen, and hence needs to dealt with as long as it's still located in only one cluster."

"The geth are Saren's allies, if I haven't misunderstood our entire mission so far," Adams commented with a hint of humour, "So we wouldn't really deviate from our mission. We're still attacking his allies."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Tali disagreed, speaking in her role as the ship's geth expert, "In a broader sense the geth and Saren are allies, yes. But the geth data about their plans and the outposts contained no mention of Saren at all. This seems to be an entirely independent operation of them." She spoke enthusiastically. Encountering independently operating geth would be a chance for her to find something to use as her pilgrimage gift.

"We need to be honest," Shepard said, "This is taking time and resources away from the main mission. However, it's still something that needs to be done."

Everybody in the room nodded or elsewise signaled agreement. Nobody seemed to be actually disposed against going against the geth; even Alenko had only spoken as advocatus diaboli.

Shepard continued: "So that's plan for the next week: We'll visit Earth, with a short stop at Eden Prime in between. I think the reasons for that are clear to everybody here."

They all grinned back. Officially, Shepard was just making sure that his ExoGeni prisoners would be given to properly staffed and equipped Alliance security facilities. The propaganda aspect was entirely inofficial, and thus Shepard tried to keep the crew out of it as much as possible. This already had proven to be prudent: After Udina had failed to convince Shepard to hand the prisoners over, the Alliance brass had send orders directly to crew members to release the prisoners. However, Shepard had handed over responsibility about that from the crew to his Spectre entourage, and Wrex and Garrus were surely not in the Alliance's chain of command, and not inclined to take orders from anybody else but the Commander.

"What happens afterwards depends on Admiral Hackett," Shepard went on. "He has promised me to look into the matter of Admiral Kahoku's dead recon unit, and he seemed to have had something on his mind. If he can find a lead we'll use the remaining time to investigate it. Otherwise I guess we'll just wait at Attican Beta." He grinned. "I mean, we haven't been to Feros in such a long time."

"That wouldn't be so bad," Adams commented smiling. "We could tell them some good news, after our mission to Earth."

"Heh, true," Shepard replied. "So any more questions, about our stay on Earth, the mission in the Armstrong Cluster or whatever?"

Nobody answered, so Shepard continued. "Well, if you have any later on, just come to me and ask. As for now... before I forget: Tali, you're relieved of your duties in Engineering for the next days Sorry to steal her from you, Adams." The Chief Engineer laughed and Shepard turned to Tali again: "Hackett has given me much raw data the first Alliance counterstrike into the Armstrong Cluster has gathered, so it will be your task to go through that."

"Of course, Commander," Tali confirmed. "No problem."

_Of course it wouldn't be for her. _It seemed no matter where Shepard employed her, at Engineering, in combat or in data analysis, she would always get the job done. _Versatile and competent. And probably "keeping the CO sane" could be added to that list, too. If we ever come out of this alive I'll probably be deeply in debt to her._

"Good," he said. "I think that concludes our meeting then. Dismissed."

Shepard waited a moment to let everybody rise and turn to go, and then addressed Kaidan: "Lieutenant Alenko, please wait."

When the room had cleared, Shepard breathed out, mentally preparing himself to start the conversation with Alenko. However it was the Lieutenant who spoke up first: "I assume this is the clearing talk you said you wanted to have with me, Commander?"

"Ah, yes," Shepard answered. Still fumbling with words he continued: "What I wanted to ask is... well, if I've given offence."

"Offence?" Alenko replied, "Ah, no, Commander. It's just... what you _have_ said... that was kinda strong."

"I suppose it was, yes," Shepard answered. And it had been indeed, he was very much aware of that. "Still... I can't take it back. I mean what I've said."

"I know you do, and I don't take offence at that," Alenko said. "I'm indeed just glad it didn't come to what you've said, that BAaT had already closed down by your time, just as I've said."

That was not at all what Shepard had expected. He had expected to have to justify what he had said, maybe even to apologise in the end, even if he did not want to. However, the conversation appeared to not turn that way, and he did not quite know how to answer to what Alenko had just said.

Instead, the Lieutenant continued: "It's not that I can't understand you, Commander. If you excuse me for saying so, that's just how you work: Justice must be pursued at every price. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Look at the whole ExoGeni mess: Conatix was disbanded after the BAaT fiasco, but that was an extremely lucky occasion. Normally, megacorps get away with anything. And now you make sure ExoGeni doesn't. That's a good thing. ExoGeni behaved just as criminally as Conatix did, and they need to fall just like Conatix did."

That at least made sense to Shepard, and cleared up some matters. "I understand," he replied. "You did seem very enthusiastic about that prospect when we talked with Emily Wong."

"Yeah, I suppose that was kinda obvious," Alenko admitted. "I was lucky Conatix fell, and now I want the colonists of Zhu's Hope to have the same luck. The point is this comes about due to your convictions, sir. So I can't really condemn them. I don't share them, but I'm behind you. You're the commanding officer, and I trust in your judgement. After all, it has brought us quite far already."

Shepard hesitated. This was really not going how he had expected it to go. He tried to put that into words: "Heh. Funny. I thought it would have to be me doing a hell of a lot explaining in this talk, and now it's you. So, either you're pretty observant, Lieutenant, or I'm damn obvious."

"I'd say your shouting match with Udina was indeed quite obvious, sir," Alenko commented with a half-smile.

"Touché, Lieutenant," Shepard said. "If you had figured all this out, why then did the awkwardness between us persist?"

"I didn't figure it all out from the start," Alenko answered. "The meeting and interview with Ms Wong really helped in that regard. However, I think the main problem was the awkwardness itself. I had maybe figured it out, but couldn't be sure, and surely couldn't tell you about it. Unless we'd talk about it."

That made sense. Still, Shepard had a feeling of having gotten off the hook way too easily. He was not sure if this talk would really clear all matters standing between him and the lieutenant. So, after some consideration he pushed on: "So you have no problems with your CO having expressed sympathies with terrorist cells?"

"Those were indeed strong words of course, Commander, just as I've said," Alenko replied. "However, sometimes strong words are just necessary. Besides, you were speaking hypothetically - in the end, you didn't go through BAaT, and you became a marine, not a terrorist. Personally, I don't think what those cells do is productive, to say at least, and I'd never join them. However, I can see where you were coming from, and that's enough. I don't share your opinions, but I can respect them. As said, your moral code has proven to be very productive, after all."

"I think this fine ship and the people I've worked with had _something_ to do with it as well!" Shepard protested.

"Only a bit, sir." Alenko replied with a faint smile. "Besides, with all due respect, Commander: You'd make a lousy terrorist. You'd be far too worried about hitting innocents. Uh, which is a good thing, of course."

"Hah, that might well be" Shepard allowed, and then sighed, still confused by Alenko's explanations. "All in all, what you've said, it's... I dunno. A strange way to see things, if you excuse me for saying so. But then maybe it's just me, and me seeing the galaxy in too black and white terms. Whereas you try to understand every point of view, it seems."

"I do. It's helpful," Alenko said. "I can see why the Alliance let Conatix... do to us what they did to us. It was criminal, but it were Conatix' actions. The Alliance simply looked past them, because at that point they struggled at the galactic scene - brand new, already saddled with a feud with one of the three dominant races, and looking out to win at least _some_ standing for themselves. They felt like they needed biotics for that, same as every other race had, and hence they were willing to cut corners. That's when people become sloppy or willing to accept crimes, when they cut corners."

"Is that what you call it?" Shepard asked almost softly. He would have used stronger language, but it seemed Alenko was not the type to do so. Not even on this issue, no matter what had happened to him_._

"I do, because it was," Alenko replied."It was horrible, but the Alliance didn't act out of sheer malice, they had reasons why the acted the way they did. And then they cut corners to reach their goals."

Shepard stayed silent. _Cutting corners. Meaning they made him suffer for it. Him and others, and some even died. _But he did not say so. That would just have flared up the argument again. He shook his head. "All I can say is that I would not have reacted that way," he said after some time.

"I know" Alenko answered, "But I don't think a more hostile reaction would be useful. The Alliance did this. However, the Alliance also represents humanity in the galaxy, stands up to the Council, helps expand the human race. And the Alliance Navy protects the colonies, drives back raiders, punishes slavers. You said you maybe see things too black and white. Sorry, sir, but you might be right there."

"Yeah, I did say so myself," Shepard admitted. "But all those things you've listed - isn't that what one would simply _expect_ of a state? Why else should we have them?"

"And the Alliance just is the state we have," Alenko argued. "It's legitimate to wish for a better one, but it isn't always productive. I've joined the Navy to contribute to the Alliance doing all those positive things. It may be just those things that are expected of a state, but they need to be done, and I think it's good to contribute to them, no matter what else the Alliance has done."

"I see." Shepards said. He still did not agree at all with Alenko's position, but had not come to argue, and he was beginning to get a grasp on what Alenko meant. "I think I can understand your point of view. I don't agree with it, but I can understand it - and as you've said, that's enough. In a way, your world view could even be considered heroic, sorta. In a, ah, self-sacrificing way. I'd still say it makes it too easy for authorities to get away with stuff, though."

"Of course. That is where we disagree after all, Commander," Alenko admitted. "And even though I don't agree with everything you say or do, I trust you'll do the right thing, and that's why I'll support you all the way. You're our best chance to catch Saren, and you might also just be the best chance to do all kinds of good on the way to it."

"That's, uh..." Shepard said stumbling, "Well, I feel honoured. I hope I can live up to those expectations."

"I'm sure you will, sir," Alenko assured, "I didn't want to put pressure on you, anyway, it was just an observation. I do hope in any case that this talk will improve matters between us, Commander."

"I think it will," Shepard claimed. "And, uh... after we've fought together and got rid of a crisis of relationship, maybe it's time to dispense with some formalities. At least while not talking about official matters." All this _sir_ and _Commander_ and _Lieutenant_ maybe were military necessities, but in a normal talk they kind of got in the way.

"Ah... Yeah, you're right, I guess," Alenko agreed. " Might take a while to get used, too, though, Comm... ah, see?"

"Heh, yeah, no worries," Shepard answered. "At least it'll make sure something tangible has come out of our talk."

"Of course, _Shepard,_" Alenko said, jokingly stressing the Commander's name. "It's good we had it. However, I fear now duty calls."

"Ah, yeah, let's go," Shepard agreed. The two turned towards the Conference Room's door, and Shepard continued: "I don't want to keep you from your work, after all. Since we'll soon be in major operations against the geth, you'll need to make extra sure our equipment is in working order. If there's a problem we can still do something about it on Earth, but afterwards... yeah, not so much. "

"That's true," Alenko confirmed, "I guess I need to be extra attentive now..." The Conference Rooms's door opened, and they walked through it. Alenko stopped on the other side, surprised to see Liara standing there. "Oh, hey, Liara," he greeted the asari.

"Lieutenant Alenko, Commander Shepard," Liara greeted back. "Ah, can we talk, Commander?"

"I... suppose," Shepard answered. He was a bit weary after her last request to talk, which had consisted of her request for a mind-link, something Shepard had flat out rejected. "Well then, Alenko, I hope our next talk will be more relaxed."

"It most likely will be," Kaidan said, and walked on.

Shepard turned towards the asari and asked: "So, Liara, what can I do for you?"

"I have spent the time on the Citadel looking up information, knowledge," Liara explained. "I even managed to visit an esteemed matriarch on visit to the station; my parentage was helpful in that matter. I've tried to learn more about mindmelds, especially with your species, Commander."

Shepard narrowed his eyes, becoming even more suspicious. "Let's go inside," he said, gesturing Liara to go into the Conference Room. Once inside, he asked: "Now, and just why have you learned all this?"

"I appreciate the concerns for your privacy, Commander," Liara continued her explanation. "Most asari would most likely find them curious or even petty, but it is in the end _your_ mind, and hence your concerns. I tried to gain knowledge on how to keep a mind-link as narrow and focused as possible. It's not something we asari usually do, quite the contrary, we usually strife for the opposite. However, it's possible to keep it quite focused, and, well..."

"And so you want to ask me again about establishing such a mind-link between us," Shepard concluded. He did not like the thought.

"Indeed, Commander," Liara admitted. "I should add that there still is no guarantee, that there is always the possibility that I might also catch stray thoughts of yours, but that chance should be very much minimalized now."

_At least she's honest. _"I'm still uncomfortable with the notion," Shepard answered, "I must admit, the thought of you accidentally catching one of my thoughts kinda horrifies me. I can see your point, how such a mindlink would be useful, but it's an uncomfortable thought."

To his surprise, Liara lightly chuckled at that. "That attitude goes against basically everything in asari society. It's... interesting. As I've said, it's your mind, so you can decide about it. If you are dead-set against a mind-link, then there will be none."

She could not have known it, but that assurance won Liara quite some respect from Shepard. "You've said you're read up about that stuff, even talked to a matriarch about it," he said. "I trust you've done that in your usual, scientifically diligent manner. I understand there's still... a risk so to say. But, well, seems like we need to take some risks to catch Saren."

"So, you agree to a mindlink?" Liara concluded. She sounded entirely too enthusiastic about it for Shepard's liking. He could see the necessity of it, but to him it was nothing to get enthusiastic about at all. "Oh, that would be great." The asari seemed to caught herself, and hastily added: "And, ah, helpful, too. For our mission."

"I do, yes," Shepard confirmed. He did not like the look on Liara's face. It occurred to him that even though such a mindlink was done out of necessity it still would be an act of considerable intimacy. He had nothing against Liara, but that was maybe going a bit too far.

Liara approached him, and Shepard raised his hand to signal her to stop. "But not here," he continued. "This will be done just like Shiala's mindlink, at the sickbay, under medical supervision." _Best to keep this as medically clean and de-personalised as possible. _

"I... understand," Liara stated. "Even though that medical supervision seems really unnecessary to me."

Deciding to voice what this was really about, Shepard explained. "We'll do this in a manner as professional and distanced as possible"

This seemed to strike Liara like a hit. She recoiled slightly, and made a terribly disappointed face but answered: "I see, Commander. If you want to have it that way, then I'll keep this strictly official and professional."

Seeing Liara like that made Shepard almost regret saying those words. He felt sorry for her; after all in her own words she was by asari standards little more than a kid. However, he was really terribly afraid of 'thought-leaking' so a small part of him actually was satisfied with it; it was clear she had gotten the message. He tried to fight down that part. It was necessary he had spoken plain language with Liara, but that necessity was also regrettable.

They walked to the sickbay in silence, and Shepard explained the matter to Dr Chakwas. This time, she did not seem amused about Shepard requesting medical supervision for the mindlink. Either Shepard's mindlink with Shiala had set a warning example, or she was aware of the reason Shepard wanted this to be done in a clinically-sterile manner. Given how observant she could be at times, Shepard assumed the latter.

The Commander was nervous. His heart beat fast and he breathed in and out several times to calm himself. Liara on her part did not look much better. She glanced around the sickbay, obviously unhappy with that environment for the mindlink.

Finally, after Dr Chakwas had put all observation machinery in place, Liara walked towards Shepard and urged: "Relax, Commander." Then she lowered her head and took a final step. Her head bolted up again and she opened her eyes wide; they now were of a deep black. It was the last thing Shepard saw before Liara said: "Embrace eternity!"

The visions from Eden Prime raced through Shepard's head again. A sequence of images with an underlying meaning he still did not understand, laced in an emotional context that had troubled him for nearly two weeks now.

When the visions faded, and he got sight of the real world again, it seemed to spin. Only slowly did he really arrive in the real world again.

"This was... incredible!" Liara exclaimed. "All this time... All my research... yet I never dreamed – I'm sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so... intense."

_Just great. An intense experience, eh? _Shepard did not like the sound of it. "Did you see anything?" he asked.

"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged," Liara explained, "Large parts of the vision are... are missing. The data transferred to your mind is incomplete, Commander."

_What?_ "Really?." Shepard said "You found nothing?" He was disappointed. He had fought down his discomfort about a mindlink, only for it to have ended up unproductive.

"Nothing that would directly help us to discern Saren's plans at least," Liara admitted, "However, it was not totally useless. Our connection gave a new understanding of the protheans to me, due to the Cipher you have received from Shiala. Considering that we are searching for a prothean artifact, this will most likely still be useful. Saren must have the data missing from your mind, so now we just need to retrieve it, too."

"Which would mean another mindlink," Shepard sighed. "Well, I would've hoped for more tangible results, but that's hardly your fault. I know you couldn't have known the vision was incomplete, and you had the best intentions. It's just a bit disappointing to undergo such an uncomfortable procedure, uncomfortable for me at least, and then find out it has - well not been for nothing, but... you know what I mean."

"I do, Commander," Liara said. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, it's not your fault," Shepard answered with a dismissive hand gesture. _The damage is done anyway. If there even has been one. _He grinned unhumorously. "Just keep any thoughts you might have caught from me to yourself, will you?"

"I.. I would never.. that's..." Liara stuttered.

Shepard laughed. He was still not satisfied, but what could he do? "Well, now we're even," he said. He did not really mean that, he still felt kind of like his mind had been compromised for no good reason, but there was no point in arguing about it. Thus, he simply left the room.

...

Shepard walked through the corridors of the _Normandy_ with a grin on his face. His reception on Eden Prime had been extraordinary, a true hero's welcome, even though that hadn't been planned at all. It had helped to create media awareness, though, for Emily Wong's timely "leaked" information about his prisoners. And even though it wasn't yet clear to the public just what exactly the two prisoners had done, Eden Prime was squarely on Shepard's side in this.

If nothing else it was a big ego-boost to the Commander, a welcome contribution to his morale. Its primary purpose of course had been to create yet more media coverage once the _Normandy _would reach Earth, but a rise in morale was really something Shepard had needed. There were enough worries he had.

One of them had to do with the mindlink he had established two days ago with Liara. Ever since then, the feeling of having alien emotions in his head had subdued. His mind had begun to rationalize those emotions, to put them in a proper context. He now had knowledge about them, but they had no hold sway over him any more. While this in itself was a good thing, he worried about what it meant. This rational, analysing attitude towards them, towards his visions in general, that all felt very much like Liara.

That was something that really concerned him. He feared that it was in fact a part of Liara's mind that had leaked into his. He had spoken with the asari about it, and she had told him a mindlink or a mindmeld were not like extranet data transfers, it was a real combining of minds. So it was always possible that something could 'stay behind' afterwards. In fact, the asari celebrated that; it was part of their philosophy of personal development through diversity.

However, to Shepard it felt like a compromisation of his mind. He would rather be overwhelmed by prothean emotions again then to have to worry about the integrity of his personality, of his self. Unfortunately, further mindlinks might prove necessary in the future. Shepard did not look forward to that.

In fact the conversation with Liara had been rather terse. While she had not spoken it out openly, Shepard had gotten the impression she thought him to be overly prissy in this. Even Tali, when had spoken with him afterward, had not seemed to fully understand just what he found so terrible about it, even though she of course had sympathy for him.

The visit to Eden Prime had been a welcome interruption to those thoughts. It had filled Shepard with new self-confidence, and with a new vigour. He felt ready to take on ExoGeni afterward, ready to get things moving again. Thus, one of the first things he did after the _Normandy _had departed again from the colony was a tour of the ship. He was filled with energy and wanted everything to go right.

So far, everything seemed to be in order. The bridge, CIC and Engineering were all in top working conditions. Coming from Engineering, he decided to also take a look at the people working in the cargo bay. He found Chief Williams on her station, listening to mail.

He got to hear the end of one. A young female voice spoke: "Oh before I go: You said you're serving with Commander Shepard now? We saw him on the vids here. He's cuuute. Later, sis."

Shepard was amused. _Now, that's a nice additional ego-boost. _It was just as the mail had finished that Shepard stood besides Williams, and that she noticed her presence.

"Tell me you didn't hear that," Williams demanded.

"Heh. I'm afraid I did. One of your sisters?" Shepard asked, remembering an earlier talk he had shared with the Chief.

"Until I get home and shoot her," Williams answered in a mock-serious voice, "Or maybe you should just shoot me right now."

"Hah. That's a lot of shooting," Shepard joked. "I see you have a soldier's mind."

"The effects of growing up in a military family," Williams replied. More casually, she continued: "That was Sarah, my youngest sister. Anyway, what's up, sir? You didn't come by to eavesdrop on my family mail."

"Actually, I did," Shepard stated in a dead-pan voice. The look on William's face really made the joke worth it. It was clear she had absolutely no idea how to answer that. Shepard laughed, and continued: "_Actually_ I was just doing a tour of the ship. See that we're in pristine condition once we hit Earth."

"That makes sense," Williams commented. "To be seen is our first objective, after all. Or so I gathered."

"Quite," Shepard confirmed. "Ah, I hope you don't have any problems with that. After all the Alliance tried to prevent this."

"Udina did, you mean," Williams corrected him, even though that was not the entire truth. "And see, that's why I hate politics. Frankly, on Feros I just wanted to put some rounds into Jeong and leave, and now they want to let him go free. You're probably right, though, his superiors need to be punished, too. And if politicians and or the top brass have a problem with that... Yeah, they're our superiors. But I'm here to serve humanity, not them."

"I'm very glad to hear that," Shepard stated, "Means if I'm insane I'm at least not the only one."

"From all what I've heard about your shouting match with Udina, that might have been a tad insane," Williams commented. "Uh, with all due respect, sir."

"A little, maybe," Shepard admitted. Then a thought hit him: "Oh, damn, are rumours about it already spreading?"

"Are you kidding?" Williams asked. "You're a hero to half the crew for shouting at him!"

"Just great. Well, if it serves crew morale..." Shepard said "Anyway, it appears everything is in order here?"

"Yes, sir," Williams confirmed.

"Not surprising," Shepard admitted, "I didn't think I'd find anything to complain about at your station, anyway. So, I don't want to further keep you from your family mail."

He half-turned to go, but Williams just shrugged in response. "That was the last one for now, anyway."

"Your family seems to be important to you," Shepard commented.

"Yeah, we've always been close," Williams agreed, "Me and my sisters especially. With Dad on duty so much, I had to help raise them."

Shepard turned towards her again. He had not actually planned any longer talk with her, but why not? "Really? Wasn't your family stationed near him?"

"Dad always wanted to serve in space," Williams explained, "But he wanted us to have real ground under our feet. He'd say: 'Space is beautiful, but you can't raise a family there.' "

"So you had to help take over his part in raising the family because of that? Eh..." _Well, it's better than how I grew up. Or how Alenko partially grew up. Or even better than Tali's childhood, maybe._

"It wasn't so bad," Williams claimed. "It's just... military families. Conditions like that, it's a miracle they even still exist."

Shepard shrugged and conceded the point to her. Not that he was an authority on family life anyway. "And you're trying to continue the military tradition?" he asked.

"Yeah, I am. I was so proud when I got to wear the uniform, even back in bootcamp," Williams said, "I remember that scene; me standing proud... And then my drill instructor kicked me in the butt and I fell face first into the mud. He spent the next five minutes chewing me out for gold-bricking."

That term was a very familiar one to Shepard. "Gold-Bricking? You had Gunnery Chief Alison as drill instructor?" he asked, "Only person I know who uses that word for shirking duty."

"Good Lord!" Williams laughed. "You went to the Macapá boot camp, too? Yeah, he's still reaming out recruits down there..."

Something had been lost in the conversation. Good-natured nostalgia really was not what Shepard connected with him or Macapá. Thus he interrupted Williams and said gruffly: "Bah. He was an arse."

"Really, Commander?" Williams asked. "Sure, recruits think so, but I think eventually you learn he was just doing his job."

"It was too brutal a job." Shepard claimed. Street life had been plenty brutal, too, of course, even way more brutal. However, at least on the street one had every chance to _strike back_, and did not have to simply stand there and endure everything.

"Why did you sign on then, sir?" Williams inquired.

"To get off the street," Shepard explained. _No reason to hide anything. And that was the only reason I did it._ "That's why I pushed myself through boot camp, military biotic training, later N7 training – not out of patriotism or anything, simply because I feared falling back on the street. Not as noble a reason, eh?"

Williams shook her head, disagreeing with Shepard's attitude: "No, it's... I've served with many people, Commander. Many good soldiers. And to get out of poverty, or even off the street is a damn common reason to sign on. It's not really an ideal system. Something's rotten if the Alliance profits from problems in its own society that way. But as long as people do their job, what does it matter why they signed on? If nothing else, military service teaches you to get a certain tolerance in dealing with other people."

"I'm glad you're seeing it that way," Shepard said, and he was. It seemed unlikely she would be snobbish, but one could never know. Quite many military families took pride and sense of tradition to snobbish levels. Fortunately, though, Williams seemed to be unlike that. "Though there must've been something grand about signing on for the 'right reasons' like upholding a family tradition."

"Yeah, well. Being in a military family wasn't all bad, but it wasn't all perfect, either," Williams stated. "Sarah, for example. She writes letters to me now, but things actually were pretty tense between her and me for a while. I guess that just happens given our family situation. But then we bonded. "

"Bonded?" Shepard asked.

"Well, she got herself a boyfriend who wanted to go faster than she did, Mike," Williams explained. "I don't think he was a bad kid, just... pushy. Lynn, another sister of ours, would send me those worried vid-mails, and I'd tell her to relax."

"Yeah, I know those kinds of stories," Shepard claimed, and it did seem like a fairly typical one.

"I guess it was a lose-lose situation for him," Williams said. "As it was, he was pushy, but if he didn't ask at all I'd wonder if he thought Sarah was ugly. Damned if you, damned if you don't."

Shepard merely raised an eyebrow at that. There was something not entirely right with what Williams had said. _So it's bad too be pushy, but it should also be expected? What? _

Williams seemed to understand that he was not entirely content with that explanation, and so went on a bit unsurely: "Uh... Anyway, Mike thought they'd go for a romantic walk in the woods. 'Cause he figured it was past time they did the deed. She levered Mike face-first into a tree and left. Didn't have a scratch on her. Good thing Mom and Dad had us all learn some kind of self-defense. Still, I took emergency leave for some days and walked Sar to school for a few days."

"Ah, that seems to be a bit more than to be just pushy, to say at least!" Shepard exclaimed. "Why didn't she tell the police?"

"She said it wouldn't solve the real problem," Williams explained. "And she and Mike would both become household names. It was a pretty small colony. Everybody knew everybody there, so you also had to live with everybody knowing you. That's why I agreed to do things her way. Mom was pissed about that, though."

"So instead you walked her to school every day?" Shepard asked. "I can't see her having been too fond about that"

"It embarrassed the hell out of her," Ashley confirmed, "But it was worth it in the end. My last day, Mike was waiting on us. Sar had told her friends, so everyone at school knew what he did. He wasn't happy. I wanted to snap him in half. But Sar gave me this look, this 'let me handle it, I need to do this alone' look. She kept her cool - God bless her - as he screamed in her face. She just let him vent. Then he tried to punch her. I swear, she just flowed around him. Next thing I know, he's face-down on the sidewalk, and there's blood everywhere."

"Seems a bit disproportional, but I can see why she did it," Shepard judged, "She must be as good as you are, pulling this off."

"Better," Williams conceded, "I'm more or less a straight-up puncher. When he swung she just... she wasn't there any more. And he fell. She helped him stop the bleeding and had me call an ambulance. She told the paramedics he fell. Before they took him to the hospital, Mike touched Sar's arm. I thought he was going on the ground again. But he hung his head, whispered 'I'm sorry' and started crying. And she hugged him."

"That's uh... what?" Shepard asked confused. That story sounded really weird to him. "Ah, I'm sorry. But first he tried to well, uh... rape her, then he tried to hit her, and then they just made up? What I've learned from the story is that your sister must be a hell of a close combat fighter, but that she's also probably a terrible judge of character. Meaning no offence to you."

"Well, if you put it that way..." Williams admitted, "He behaved afterward, though. We Williams women are a decisive bunch, Commander. We do things when we're ready. Not before, not after."

Shepard was still confused by the story. It made no sense to him. "And yet you expect the other side to be 'pushy'?" he asked.

"Well, that's just how things work, isn't it?" Williams replied.

"No," Shepard replied. "Or well, yes. Maybe." He had certainly seen enough of those stories on the streets of New York. "Doesn't mean it's okay. I really do think Sarah should have called the police, and shouldn't have gotten back together with him any more."

"That would have caused all kinds of trouble," Ashley explained. "You've never lived in a small colony, right? Things are... different there."

"Eh, I dunno if I'd take that as a valid excuse," Shepard replied, "But no, I haven't ever lived in any such colony."

"I've moved six times before graduating high school," Williams explained. She sounded hasty, and Shepard suspected she was eager to change the topic. "It was difficult, I think that's why my sisters and me are so close. However, it also took to me to all kinda different and interesting places." Chuckling, she began to recite in a grave manner: "_I cannot rest from travel; I will drink life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those that loved me and alone. For always roaming with a hungry heart. Much have I seen and known. Cities of men, and manners, climates, governments, councils..._"

"Uh... what?" Shepard asked surprised. "I'm sorry, I'm probably showing my lack of class here, or something. Poetry?"

"Ulysses," Williams said, "It was Dad's favourite poem. Every time he shipped out, he recorded me reading it. He had half a dozen versions when he retired."

"Heh, that sounds sweet" Shepard commented, "I wouldn't have figured you to be the poetry type, though."

"Hey, just because I can drill you a hole between the eyes at a hundred meters doesn't mean I can't like sensitive stuff," Williams argued and continued a bit less decisively: "Just don't go spreading it around, okay?"

"Heh, okay, I won't," Shepard agreed. "Does your father still like it?"

"I sure hope so," Williams replied. "I read it to his grave every time I go home. Dad passed on a few years back. He's probably still watching, though."

"Ah... so you believe in, well, an afterlife?" Shepard asked.

"I do," Williams stated. "I believe he's with God now." She hesitated slightly and asked: "That's not a problem with you, is it? That I believe in God?"

"Freedom of Religion is in the Alliance charta," Shepard said. "As long as you don't make a problem out of it, I sure won't."

That did not sit well with Williams "I won't make problems, I'm not a zealot, Commander!" she argued agitated "I just believe in God."

"Okay, okay. Sorry, seems like I've hit a sensitive spot," Shepard apologised, "I didn't mean to offend you or imply you were a fanatic."

"Yeah, it is," Williams confirmed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have snapped, sir. But I've met a few people who were really weirded out by my faith. Because I work in space, I can't believe in God? Geez. Hello? Have you people looked out of the window? How can you look at this galaxy and not believe in something?"

Shepard sighed. He had _just_ talked about how he hoped she would not make a problem out of her believes, and here she was, basically belittling unbelievers. He raised an eyebrow and said: "Ah, Chief, didn't you just say you would not make problems? I mean, can't you see how people not believing in any 'god' would have a problem that?"

"Ah..." Williams answered unsurely. "Sorry, sir. I guess you're right."

"I don't want to make this any official," Shepard stated. "Not for something that minor, and not directly after our talk. Just, you know, keep this in mind, please. As a friendly advise, so to say."

"Will do, sir," Williams confirmed.

Before Shepard could answer, he was interrupted by his communicator. Navigator Presley spoke: "Commander, we've got a call from Earth on the line. Somebody very well informed about our... mission to the planet, so maybe you'd want to speak with her. It's a real-time call with visual information, so you can take it in the Conference room."

"Okay, I'll be there in a second," Shepard responded.

"I, ah, should get back to my duties now, too," Williams said after Shepard had ended Pressly's call, "I think our talk really overextended my break. Rifles don't maintain themselves. Not yet, anyway. Now that we're clear on what _not_ to talk about, maybe we can talk again later, though."

"It's a small ship," Shepard stated. "It's difficult not to run into each other here. So, maybe until later, Chief!"

He had wanted to check up on Wrex and Garrus, too, but would have to delay this to later. Instead, he headed straight towards the conference room, wondering about the mysterious caller. He trusted in Pressly's competence as Executive Officer; he would not have taken the call and told the Commander about it if he did not think it was important.

Pressly had said the caller knew about their mission to Earth. _Friend or foe?_ Shepard wondered as he reached the conference room. He started the holographic projector, and waited for the hologram to appear.

When it did, he saw the image of a woman in an advanced age. Shepard guessed her to be around 100, which given the medical conditions of his day and age was definitely past any potential mid-life crisis, but not yet all too old. He also guessed her to be of rather small stature, but given that he only saw a hologram of her it was difficult to tell.

"Commander Shepard," the woman spoke, "I hope I find you well?"

"I'm doing fine, thanks," Shepard answered. "I hope the same is true for you, too. May I ask with whom I'm speaking?"

"My name is Anita Goyle," the woman answered. She waited, probably for him to recognize the name.

He did. "Anita Goyle? Udina's predecessor on the Citadel?"

"Exactly," Goyle confirmed. "My sources tell me you're on an important, if rather unofficial mission to Earth,"

"Nothing major," Shepard replied, "just handing over two prisoners." He was skeptical of her motives. She once had been the Alliance's ambassador to the Citadel. At the moment he had good reason to be distrustful of any high ranking Alliance officials, even former ones.

"That's the official story," Goyle agreed, "Of course if it were true you could already have done so on the Citadel, or on Eden Prime. And yet on both occasions your presence was accompanied by media 'leaks' about your prisoners. I must congratulate you on a well executed PR campaign, Commander."

Shepard narrowed his eyes. "Out of respect, or out of agreement with it?" he asked.

"Why, both of course," Goyle answered. "If even half of what I've heard ExoGeni did is true, then they deserve a hit, and it seems you're making sure they get it." She hesitated. It appeared she was pondering something and then added: "I can understand that you don't immediately trust me. I could represent a further Alliance ploy to get hold of your prisoners, after all. However, I tell you, I have no interest in that. In fact, I do want to help you."

Shepard decided to risk it. _Allies is something I could direly need right now. _He shrugged. "I had help with the PR aspects. It's not exactly my strong suit."

"And so you delegated it," Goyle concluded. "Very good. Maybe you should consider a political career once you retire from Navy and Spectres."

Shepard laughed at that, shortly and sharply, but not without humour. "Maybe. But I fear it'll be a long time until then. So, Ms Goyle, how exactly do you want to help me, if I may ask?"

"I hardly need to explain to you that you need to get as much media awareness as possible, Commander Shepard," Goyle explained, "And I think I can help with that, maybe even let you appear as a hero once more. It seems the Alliance Navy has some trouble with one of its training installations on the Moon. Earth's moon, that is, Luna I guess I should properly call it these days."

Shepard crossed his arms, nodded and waited.

"My influence is not what it used to be," Goyle continued, "but I might be able to use it in such a manner that you will be tasked with clearing up the matter. Somehow the facility's VI malfunctioned, and the base has thus de facto turned against its users. The Navy could just bomb the place, but that would be a colossal waste of resources. If you could solve the matter in such a way as to save the base, right before landing on Earth... consider the boost in PR reputation!"

Shepard rubbed his chin and pondered the issue. "I see what you mean," he said. "Yes, this could help matters. Though I must say I'm surprised the former Alliance ambassador to the Citadel is helping me, considering the Alliance's stance on the matter."

"The Alliance is hardly infallible," Goyle responded. "Trust me, Commander Shepard, I've learned in great detail that it isn't. As for my own motives..." She scoffed. "Sorry, but my motives are mine own. However, I am your ally, so surely you can simply accept my help?"

"Nothing is 'simple' about this Ms Goyle," Shepard answered, "However, your proposal is indeed helpful, and I'll gladly accept it."

"You have the right instincts to pull this off, it seems," Goyle commented. "I'll see that it gets arranged. Good luck, Commander Shepard. I'll call you again once you've entered the solar system. In the meanwhile I'll work on making that prisoner transfer as big a spectacle as possible."

"Good bye, Ms Goyle," Shepard said, "And thanks."

The hologram faded, and Shepard remained behind with a vaguely bad feeling about this. Goyle's idea was constructive, so Shepard would do it, but he was still uneasy. She had flat out rejected to tell him her motives. She had not even tried to side-step the issue, she had plainly said that her reasons were hers alone, and that made Shepard suspicious. Furthermore, there was something else he could not quite put his finger on. Something about Goyle's former career. He would have to read up on it; maybe he could figure out what it was that was bugging him.

However, first he had a combat mission to organize.

000000

"Somehow it figures," Tali muttered.

The _Normandy_ had come to Earth, the homeworld of humanity, the cultural and economical centre of the Alliance, the planet Shepard was born on and by all accounts a beautiful world with a recovering ecosystem - and yet Tali could not set foot on it, or not yet, anyway.. It was as if there was a quarian curse that even disallowed single members of the species to land on a homeworld. Instead, she had landed on the sterile, lifeless single moon of that world, Luna, together with Shepard and his squad.

Tali would have liked to see the actual planet first. _Maybe there'll be time for that later. Hopefully. _Shepard had told her a bit about the world, but he had not actually seen much of it, only the worse off parts of New York and the boot camp at Macapá. Still, he held no negative opinion about his homeworld. He knew and had told her that those places were not typical of Earth. In fact, according to his tales, there was no really 'typical' place on Earth. As humanity had just recently banded together and started getting into space, it was still a very diverse planet, with many different cultures, biotopes, social conditions, etc.

Often that was not a good thing - on Earth itself, the Alliance had few power, the single nation states and political blocs still did, and a few of them were still dictatorial and/or badly-ran and poor. And even in the richer nations, "diversity" often meant gaping social divides between the very rich and the poor. However, not all parts of Earth were down-ran or poor. Shepard had told her of some outstanding places on Earth, even though he had never seen them himself - he had gone from New York to Macapá and then directly into space. However, he had read about them, had in his youth devoured stories about other places. And so he had been able to tell Tali about some spots on Earth she really would like to visit, if only to see rich and intact planetary biosystems, something quarians as a race yearned to have again.

It would be a pity to have the _Normandy_ orbit and later land on Earth and not see those things. It was possible, though - that was how life worked. In any case at the moment Tali was stuck on Luna, fighting drones controlled by a rogue VI. Or at least so Shepard and been told, and so Shepard had told his team. Tali had her doubts about that, though. VI's could malfunction, of course, they could even malfunction in quite deadly ways if they were attached to military equipment, but 'going rogue'? That sounded implausible. She did not know if it was a VI or an AI, but she was determined to kill it just to make sure.

The Alliance Navy training facility the supposed rogue VI had taken over was spread over three bunkers. The VI had decentralised conduits in all three of them, defended by automated drones, and it would take the destruction of every last of those conduits to disable the VI. The squad had already cleared out two bunkers and had faced heavy resistance against doing so. By now, they were not underestimating their synthetic opposition any more, as they had admittedly done in the beginning.

At the moment they were in the entrance area of the last bunker to be cleared, preparing themselves for the final assault. Toxic fumes were in the air, and kinetic barriers blockaded the doors, additional security mechanisms the VI had enacted during combat. Fortunately, since everybody wore sealed suits anyway due to Luna having no atmosphere, the squad was only minimally affected by the gas, and the barriers had proven to be very weak.

Shepard had taken four people with him. He had complained he would have liked to take more, but the Mako's size put a cap on maximal squad size. Since it was an Alliance facility, Lieutenant Alenko and Chief Williams were accompanying him. The Commander had additionally chosen Tali for her technological expertise, and Wrex. He had said he would rather have chosen Garrus instead of the krogan, given the C-Sec agent's own technological aptitude, but that might have been counter-productive: The reason they were doing this was after all getting media attention and if possible a positive media echo. Taking a turian on an Alliance military facility, might have worked against that goal, though.

Tali thought there was something dubious about getting shot at just so they would receive the proper media attention necessary to have ExoGeni be put on trial. It just should not be necessary, and it should especially not require such dangerous combat missions. She hoped Shepard knew what he was doing... but then, she trusted him, trusted that he in fact did. And it was a chance to kill a potential AI; always a plus in her mind.

Shepard had dispatched the barrier protecting the door already, and opened it. The squad took positions in a small corridor, while he opened a second door and brought down a second kinetic barrier. The battlefield lay open.

Tali aimed her shotgun at the door frame, waiting for the enemy to come. Her heart raced faster, but she was collected and focused.

And then the first drone appeared.

It was an easy start to the battle. The single enemy unit was easily dispatched. However, afterwards the drones appeared en masse. Tali worked fervently on her omni-tool to sabotage the enemy weapons, but even so the squad soon was nearly overpowered. Shepard signaled an order to retreat, and Tali rushed to follow suit, while at the same time keeping attention to the enemy. Everybody else did the same, and everyone knew the right motions. It was a professional, orderly retreat to the entrance area, covered, by the massive krogan stature of Wrex. Seeing him between her and the enemy made Tali feel really relieved.

Tali saw several drones following them. Quickly estimating the number she realised that not all drones they had fought now pursued them. The retreat seemed to draw the enemy numbers apart. Still, the drones present were ample threat, and so Tali quickly took cover behind a crate. Soon after, a fierce fight erupted in the entrance area. Rockets and mass-accelerated ammunition began to fill the room, and electronic signals from both sides saturated it.

Parallel to the physical fight a battle of electronic warfare was waged, and Tali tried her best to defend her team's position in that battle. Cowered behind 'her' crate, she hastily worked on her omni-tool. Concentrating while bullets fly around you was not something coming natural to most people; but Tali had been trained in keeping focus. Strict and demanding as her upbringing had been, at least it had made her capable of doing so.

One by one, the squad took out the drones, which now no longer had the advantage of numerical superiority. Without needing a command from Shepard, they then directed their guns to corridor from where the drones had come, and waited for everybody's shields to recharge. Then they charged into said corridor, storming the adjacent room.

In front of all, even in front of Wrex, it was Shepard leading the charge. Tali grinned. The Commander seemed to know no other modus operandi besides 'leading from the front'. And as always, he was a terrific sight in battle, storming into the thick of it. It was almost an aesthetic experience watching him do so. Tali, meanwhile, remained slightly behind the others, calling up and modifying a certain routine in her omni-tool. She was unsure if things would work the way she indented them to work, but was determined to try it. As soon as a concentration of drones came into sight, she began to attempt uploading the routine to one of them.

Battle had already been joined again when suddenly one of the drones turned against its peers, and those in response turned away from the squad and towards the 'traitor'. Tali smiled. Her action had stopped Shepard's charge, which was almost disappointing, but now he and the others could concentrate on pumping as much ammunition into the drones as possible while those were distracted.

As the last drone fell down, riddled with bullets, Shepard turned to the quarian, grinning. "Nice trick," he said. Turning to his other companions he continued: "Nice fight. I don't think we would've made it if you hadn't drawn so much fire on you, Wrex." That was very much like him, trying to motivate everybody. Sometimes, he ruined his own efforts in it; like every time he got too argumentative and had to apologise to somebody again afterward. However, all in all Tali thought him to be quite a good leader.

The way to the last quadruplet of VI conduits was now free. The room where those was located was fully identical to the ones the squad had been in before in the two other bunkers. Those were the last remaining conduits. With them destroyed, the VI would be gone. Their job was about to be finished. The team spread out in the room and opened fire.

Just as the last conduit went down, Tali's omni-tool and the electronics in her enviro-suit were suddenly filled and overwhelmed by white noise. It was a signal pattern in binary:

01001000

01000101

01001100

01010000

Some program in her omni-tool knew the old code, even though it was centuries old, human in origin and transcribing a word of a human language.

_Help. It's shouting for help. This was no VI, it was a full-fledged AI._

The signal continued on and on, always the same sequence, until it finally faded away. Tali had half-suspected it was an AI, but seeing it confirmed now was something else. She was glad she had been able to contribute to eliminating it, as AIs were inherently dangerous and hostile to organic life. However, she also felt used. It was next to impossible that nobody had taken notice of the fact that this thing was or had become an AI. And now she, Shepard, the entire squad had been employed, had been dumped into danger to remove that problem. Or at least, there was a high possibility of that.

Shepard, though, did not seem to have noticed. That came as no surprise since his technological skills were lacking. Which of course he more than made up for in other areas. However, he probably had not even understood the meaning of the pattern. "What was that?" he asked confused.

Tali told him. His face became set in stone.

...

There was only little time to get rest on the _Normandy_. The appointed time for the prisoner transfer was only some hours after the end of the mission on Luna, and there was no way Shepard could be late, as dozens of media representatives would already be waiting. It had even been a deliberate consideration to have the prisoner transfer happen so early after the mission. That way, Shepard would land on Earth right when every news channel would report details of the mission, which would further raise media awareness of him. However, it was a harsh consideration, and it was quite unforgiving on him and his team.

Shepard used the time to get properly dressed for the event. After the tiring mission, where Shepard had been covered in sweat and several small injuries in the end, Tali hardly recognized him any more when she saw him the next time - freshly showered, the injuries gone thanks to medi-gel and in a new and clean Alliance dress uniform. The perfect picture of a military hero, a poster boy for recruitment ads (which in fact he had been for some time after Elysium, or so he had told her). Tali smiled beneath her mask. By quarian standards, humans looked odd. They were aliens, after all, and their entire stature, their way of walking and moving - it was just off, too stiff, and several joints were all wrong and in reverse. To a degree, she had the same impression of Shepard - _But right now, he looks very nice._

Tali had realized and even accepted that she had developed certain feelings for the Spectre, despite her initial surprise at this. She knew nothing could come out of it, but she would take what she could get - and if it was only "eye candy", as a human expression she had picked up called it. It was more than that, though. It was also several long conversations and a true friendship. All in all, Tali was content with how things were. She considered herself lucky for experiencing such an extraordinary pilgrimage among a friendly and accepting ship crew and for having formed a bond with such an outstanding person as Shepard. That she could help defeat geth was a further bonus in it.

She herself did not need to change her attire, one of the rare advantages of her enviro-suit. She hence used the time doing nothing, calmed down from the mission and focused on what lay ahead. She had hoped to speak with Shepard, but he appeared distant, inapproachable. His face was still hard, and it was impossible to guess what he was thinking. He paced around in the mess for a while and then retreated again to his cabin.

So instead of talking with him, Tali watched the planetary news. Emily Wong's report had already been uploaded to the news channels, and it had hit the planet like a meteorite impact. It was a very detailed documentation making an airtight case against ExoGeni. Emily had masterfully worked in all the evidence with which Shepard had provided her. It was obvious ExoGeni was guilty, and hence the report became a hit. And because it became popular, other news channels could not pretend it did not exist, as their megacorporate masters might have liked, so they had to report the basics of it, too. And thus, Earth's entire mediasphere had very quickly become dominated by that topic. Shepard's and Emily's plan was working perfectly.

When the _Normandy_ began the landing process, Tali had went on to searching the extranet for details about the city and region they would land at. _Frankfurt, European Union_ was what she found, but of course those were just names for her, names that told her nothing. A further quick search revealed that the Alliance had several offices in the city, so that was probably the reason for that destination.

Shepard still looked grim when she joined him in the CIC. Navigator Pressly and Lieutenant Alenko were standing next to him, while a marines patrol of four people, including Chief Williams, stood a bit apart and held the two prisoners in between them.

Shepard nodded a short greeting to Tali and commented: "Okay, we're set then, and the _Normandy_ will soon touch the ground. Then the ceremonial circus will begin."

"What about Wrex?" she asked, "He was a member of the Luna squad as well."

Shepard looked _really_ uncomfortable at that, and hesitated before answering: "He... has excused himself. He won't be present at the ceremony. It's, well..."

He did not finish. Instead, Lieutenant Alenko intervened, explaining in a soft and understanding voice "It's the media. Getting their approval is our first objective, and Wrex realised he might be harmful to that. None of us is really comfortable with that, though, not at all."

"I wouldn't have ordered him to do so," Shepard continued, "He has every right to be present. But he voluntarily gave up that right out of his own initiative, so... well. I guess it is better for our image, but as Alenko has said, I don't like it at all."

_Oh. _Tali hesitated and then began: "So, maybe, I should also... that is, it might be prudent if I 'give up my right' to be at the ceremony. Quarians are usually no more liked than krogan."

It was just a statement of fact, but it seemed Shepard and Alenko almost took it as an accusation, looking even more uncomfortable. The Commander sighed and answered: "That... well, yes, I guess it's sadly true. However, I'll need you when talking with Ms Goyle" Speaking firmer he added: "There are still some points to discuss with her, and I might need your expertise. Or not. But it's better to be sure." He attempted a grin, but he only succeeded partially. "Besides, I might need my chaperone."

Alenko grinned at that, while Pressly raised an eyebrow. Tali was spared from having to answer to that by a soft shake going through the ship; the _Normandy _had landed.

The _Normandy_ officers and Tali stepped outside, onto a large landing field. Several dignitaries awaited them, looking towards the ship, and behind them a group of Alliance marines could be seen. The air was filled with camera drones. Tali suppressed a sudden desire to do to them what they had done to the drones on Luna. Unfortunately she was not carrying any weapon anyway. In some distance she could see the reporters to whom the drones belonged. It were masses of them. Clearly, whatever Shepard, Emily and this Ms Goyle had come up with was working splendidly.

Shepard led the group forwards. He shook hands with the dignitaries and exchanged greetings with them. That way, Tali got to identify Goyle. She was a woman of rather small stature and showed several human signs of aging. Her skin complexion was darker than Shepard's, but lighter than Udina's or Anderson's.

Tali, Pressly and Alenko meanwhile only needed to stand there, look nice and smile. Or not even the last item in Tali's case. She watched how the _Normandy's _marines left the ship with the prisoners, how the Alliance marines assembled on the landing field came forwards, and how the prisoners were turned over. This happened under a veritable cloud of camera drones all focusing on that event. Shepard stood next to Goyle and watched the transfer. He smiled, but Tali could see that it was a forced smile, probably only there for the sake of the cameras.

After the transfer proper, media attention waned a bit. Shepard used this to wave Tali over. When she arrived, he told her: "It appears the circus isn't yet over. There is to be some small celebration at the other side of the city, and it appears we're supposed to be transported to there now. It... might give us a chance to talk."

Tali nodded, unsure what this 'celebration' would entail. She understood, though, that Shepard wanted to use this chance to have his talk with Goyle, the talk where he wanted Tali to be present. Thus, she accompanied him and the ex-ambassador to one of the shuttles waiting. The three managed to enter it without letting anybody else in.

When the shuttle was in the air, Shepard smiled a predatory smile and began: "Well, Ms Goyle. There are some questions I still have."

"By all means then, go ahead," Goyle answered.

"First things first - did you know the training facility was controlled by what in fact was an AI?"

Goyle shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but other than that retained a calm exterior. "I strongly suspected it, at least. As you surely know it only takes some experience to read between the lines in military reports. I do suspect they deliberately tried to develop an AI there, and then everything went bottoms up."

Shepard rubbed his forehead. "Goddamn idiots," he muttered, "As if the Sidon incident hadn't been enough,".

Tali had heard of that. In 2165, the Citadel had uncovered a secret and by Citadel conventions strictly illegal Alliance program in developing AI on the world of Sidon in the Skyllian Verge. This had resulted in stringent punitive embargoes being levied on the Alliance. In any case, Goyle's blunt admission made any role by her in the conversation probably unnecessary.

"Yes, I remember that," Goyle said, a faint smile playing around her lips, "In any case, what are you going to do with this information now?"

"Normally I'd say the Alliance deserved to have this published," Shepard replied, "For their sheer idiocy alone. However, if we get embargoes again then this will only hurt the common population again, and not those responsible for it. Exposing crimes committed or hushed up by the Alliance to the Alliance population is fine and all, but to the Council... no. I'll keep the relevant data, though. You never know when it might come in handy."

Goyle narrowed her eyes. "Handy, you say? I hope you'll use it... responsibly."

_She fears Shepard might use it for blackmail. _At first Tali thought something like that highly unlikely, as something the Commander just would never do. However, then she remembered how much Shepard had antagonized both Council and Alliance. It was possible he would have to descend to such strategies in the future.

"Let's say, I just really dislike destroying evidence for crimes committed," Shepard replied, "even if I won't publish it."

Goyle chuckled. It sounded stilted and humourless. "Usually Spectres are seen as special agents. I see you understand your role as being a sort of police man."

"Sometimes I do act as military special agent," Shepard pointed out, "like I did on Luna. And for the record, I do _not_ appreciate being sent into a battle zone without full information. Why didn't you tell me that it was an AI, or most likely an AI?"

"I was unsure how you would react," Goyle answered. "You could have rejected the entire mission. It would have fit to you, you might even have said something about letting the Alliance clean up their own mistakes. However, the boost in public standing gained through that mission was too valuable to risk."

"So you used me," Shepard said. He kept his voice strictly neutral.

"Towards an end and goal that was yours, too," Goyle defended herself. "Not towards any goal of purely my own. You even agreed with the need for additional media awareness."

"Withholding information to get a desired result out of others is still a form of manipulation," Shepard accused her. "But then, I should've known."

"What do you mean?" Goyle asked.

"Something has been bugging me ever since you first contacted me," Shepard explained. "Something about your role as Udina's predecessor. You were the first human ambassador to the Citadel, right?"

"Correct," Goyle confirmed. "Why do you ask?"

Shepard nodded. "Must've been rough, back then. Us as newcomers, already enemies of the turians. It was important that Earth would appear strong."

"You're leading to somewhere," Goyle commented, "So maybe you should just cut the exposition and come to the point."

"Earth should show no weakness," Shepard went on unimpressed. "Thus the Alliance could never possibly ask any government for official aid. Like the asari in biotic matters." His voice became quieter. "So, turian mercenaries were hired."

Unlike Shepard's first question, this did surprise and shock Goyle. "Where do you know?" she asked, almost hissed.

"Does it matter?" Shepard posed a counter-question. "I know it was done because the Alliance tried to maintain a facade vis a vis the Council. And at that time you were the Alliance's contact to the Council. It must've been you recommending that no official help be sought."

_BAaT. It's about BAaT again. And the mercenaries were hired in the time where she was ambassador, for reasons that had to do with inter-racial diplomacy. I see what Shepard means._

Goyle slumped together in her seat. "It's true," she said, "It was me. You could say I was responsible for... what happened at BAaT." She straightened again. "So you know. Now what do you want to do with your information?"

"Right now I can't do much," Shepard answered. "It's not like I have any proof. However, you can be sure that if I had; I would publish it. Create the same spectacle as is happening right now."

"Frankly, I don't think you can pull that off again," Goyle commented. "Next time the megacorporations will be more vigilant."

"Maybe," Shepard admitted. "Alternatively, I would simply turn the information over to the Council."

"Do you have any idea what they would do?" Goyle asked appalled, "They'd use that as excuse to take over our own biotic affairs, to take that away from us!"

Shepard scoffed. "After what the Alliance has done, I think 'we' would deserve so. However, unfortunately, I don't have any evidence, so it's a moot point."

Goyle remained silent. Shpard leaned forwards and said: "But I want to know _why._ What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was the ambassador to the Citadel at the time, the first human one, too," Goyle answered. "In a way I was just doing my job. Not that I want to abdicate responsibility. I _am_ responsible for what happened to a large degree. However, that's all the explanation I can come up with: I was doing my job."

Shepard scoffed again and gave Goyle a look laced with contempt.

"We still share the same goals regarding ExoGeni, though," Goyle went on. "And that issue is far from over. In a way, it only has just begun. I'll take care of it from here, so we're still allies in that matter. Or, if you find that to be distasteful, co-belligerents."

Shepard hesitated for a while before answering: "Well, you're not Udina, that's clear. No comment on how I'm too prissy?"

Now it was Goyle's turn to hesitate quite a while. Finally she answered: "No. I could understand it if you find it distasteful. So, co-belligerents it it is."

And that was the last thing spoken in the shuttle until they reached their destination, "Palais Luxembourg", a relatively small building halfway up the way to a castle ruin.

During the celebration, which turned out to be a formal dinner, Tali saw Shepard smile and talk. However, she also caught him being grim and hardfaced when he thought nobody else was looking. She herself felt rather out of place - there was nothing quite as useless as a quarian at a formal dinner, especially when it was a levo-chiral dinner. Not only was she the only quarian at the table, but also the only non-human, and she felt many surprised and disparaging glances on her. Despite the nice looking surroundings outside the Palais, which reminded Tali of the old tales about clan castles on Rannoch, it was not an enjoyable event for either her or him.


	14. Ch14: Justice

"ExoGeni has denied the order was issued by them, but so far has had no comment on the new pieces of evidence published. Thousands of protesters still surround the ExoGeni HQ at..."

Shepard zapped through Earth's news channels at his omni-tool and grinned. _Mission accomplished. _It was the same feeling of achievement as after a successful combat mission. He felt proud and victorious, and as nothing could ever be the matter. He had landed a major blow against a criminal megacorporation. Now, matters rested with Anita Goyle. The ex-ambassador to the Citadel would make sure this thing would be seen through.

His mood had darkened a bit when he had found out quite unpleasant facts about her, and he had had to force himself through the official dinner afterwards. He still felt uneasy cooperating with her, but she was the best choice to take over the battle against ExoGeni on Earth.

Normally, Shepard automatically judged and evaluated every person he met. This was difficult with Goyle. She explicitly did not abdicate any responsibility for her role in the crimes committed at BAaT, but offered no justifications for her actions, either.

She had offered him to claim no more status than that of a 'co-belligerent', not necessarily one as an ally. _This has to be enough._ At least that meant she she would finish his job. And the joy about having done his part in this had gradually cast aside any uneasy feelings about Goyle's part. What Shepard felt now was the thrill of victory.

"You just can't get enough of it, do you?" Tali asked.

He turned his face to her and smiled sheepishly. "I, ah, like to keep up with the news."

It had been a strange feeling to return to New York, even though he had stayed away from those parts he had grown up in. Even stranger was that he was accompanied by Tali. It had been two days since the prisoner transfer, and the _Normandy_ would depart again in a few hours. For Shepard, those two days had been filled with annoying social functions. It seemed every two-bit politician wanted to share some of the spotlight of the first human Spectre, especially after he just had gotten into the news again. However, at least most crew members had been able to use the time to visit their families.

Tali had used it for a mind-bogglingly quick world tour across climate zones and biotopes. In fact, Shepard had made her first trip possible, using his connections to get a transport for her to Macapá. Since the Commander had possessed no time to accompany her himself, Alenko had gone with her. The Lieutenant had family on Earth, but was strangely reluctant about visiting them. Instead, he had travelled with Tali to let her see the first true jungle, the most lively biotope Earth had too offer.

It had been a bit too lively for her, or so she had told Shepard afterward. The Commander supposed that after the sterility of the Migrant Fleet ships, seeing a real jungle must have been a shock indeed. From there, she and Alenko had travelled to China and India and from there back to the _Normandy _in Europe. And this day, she had been in the Arab desert and the East African savanna already, this time alone. A world tour in mere hours.

He kind of regretted that it could not have been him showing her Earth, but that was a silly sentiment, or so he thought. After all, it was as much Alenko's homeworld as it was his, and the Lieutenant had possessed free time while he had not. Besides, Alenko had seen more of Earth than Shepard had, so he was probably the better guide anyway. Still, the Commander wished he would have some time after the whole crisis to show Earth to Tali, as silly as that wish maybe was.

"News about your own successes, you mean" Tali pointed out.

"The best kind of news," Shepard replied with a shrug.

They were sitting on a bench in Manhattan's Central Park, a domed enclosure of green surrounded by mile-high skyscrapers, they themselves surrounded by a dam that warded off the Atlantic Ocean after sea levels had risen so dramatically throughout the 22nd century. New York these days actually lay below the sea level, and unless one lived above the third floor one so to say lived below the ocean. Only the dams, themselves wonders of engineering, kept the water away. For New Yorkers, though, that was just normal life.

Shepard had managed to keep at least some time on Earth for himself, and had used that to arrange a meeting with Tali. He had put on casual clothes and a deep-seating hat that would hopefully obscure his far too prominent face and had flown from Frankfurt to New York, where Tali had already been waiting for him. He had shown her some of the city's landmarks, though just like her entire world tour that was very hasty and compressed, as they only had some hours before they would have to return to the _Normandy_.

Shepard had not managed to build up enough courage to actually visit those parts of the city that once had been his 'home', and Tali had never directly asked about it, either, something Shepard was very grateful for. In retrospect it made his threat against Finch back on the Citadel almost laughable: Most likely he would not even manage to find any Reds any more, never mind fighting them. But then, that threat had merely been a bluff anyway.

Thus, he and Tali had kept to the touristic places of the city, rushing through them at a dazzling speed, and now were spending the remaining time resting in Central Park. Tali was a quite an outstanding sight here, and many people gave her glances or were openly staring at her. However, few of those looks were truly hostile. In space, the other races' ideas about quarians had quickly spread to humans, but here on Earth few had even ever heard of them, let alone seen one. Tali was a curiosity to people here, not an object of hate or contempt.

At least, to most people.

Just as Shepard and Tali were getting up from the bench again, a group of people approached them. Shepard counted eight people, male and female, and guessed them to be all in their twenties. Some smirked, others looked angry.

"It's fucking quarian right here in New York," one of the angry ones spat out.

"Their pet geth killed thousands at Eden Prime," another stated. "It's their fault."

_Of course._ The mere seventeen million remaining quarians normally would just be a footnote of the galactic scene, especially so to a newcomer such as humanity – were it not for the fact that geth were attacking human colonies in the Traverse. And thus, outraged and panicked, many humans did not only consider those synthetics to be the enemy, but also began to hate the quarians for having created the geth. Never mind what the geth had done to their creator race.

Neither Tali nor Shepard paid the group much heed, and simply made their way through them. However, the humans would have nothing of that and began to push Tali around, who however simply walked on.

A surge of anger rose in Shepard, and immediately a dozen different strikes and punches from the Marines' near combat manual came to his mind. Tali did not deserve such a treatment just on account of her race, and that it were fellow human doing this angered the Commander in particular. He wanted to lash out at the group – but then realised that Tali really did not need protection. She had stood against geth, mercenaries and a millennia old, planet spanning, mind controlling plant super-being. She probably could have wiped the floor with all of the group.

_She's far too accepting of popular attitudes against her race. Far too used to it. _He positioned himself between one of the harassers and the quarian, and spoke quietly to her: "You're a member of my crew. I don't tolerate such behaviour towards members of my crew."

Tali stopped, looked to him, and nodded. At the same time, one of the harassers tried to push her again. She immediately sprung into action as response. She took a slight step backwards, setting her attacker off-balance, and then rose her left leg. Shepard watched fascinated. Quarian lower legs were from a human point of view 'backwards'. That, though, only made Tali's moves all the more interesting. Her knee hit her opponents upper left leg, which was thus forcefully pushed away. The attacker lost his balance for good, and fell down. All in a matter of maybe two or three seconds.

The other harassers backed off slightly, but remained in place, and blocked the way for Shepard and Tali. The Commander sighed and said: "That's enough for now. Let us through."

"Oh look!" one of the group shouted. "The dirty quarian has a love-boy."

Shepard's hand went to his forehead. _Why do racism and dirty thoughts always go hand in hand?_ He removed his hat and asked: "Do you really not recognize me?"

"Shit," somebody hissed, apparently the first to recognize him.

"It isn't really him, is it?" another asked.

The group did not come to a conclusion, just stood there confused – which gave Shepard and Tali plenty time to make their way through them and leave them behind. Shepard donned his hat again and smiled.

"Sorry," Tali apologized after a while. "I didn't want to cause any trouble. We could just have passed them by."

"I know," Shepard answered, "but sometimes I think you should be far more willing to cause trouble. There's really nothing you need to apologize for."

Tali skewed her head to the side and said slightly amused: "Normally we quarians are sent out on pilgrimage to prepare us to become productive members of Flotilla society. However, I don't know if your influence on me is really helpful in this."

"Bad influence, eh?" Shepard answered grinning. "Maybe you should take care with what sort of people you associate."

"I do," she protested in good humour. "That's after all why... why I'm aboard the _Normandy_ ."

Shepard did not notice the slight stumbling in her answer.

...

When Shepard and Tali had returned to the _Normandy_, Pressly had told the Commander that Admiral Hackett wished to call him in about just under two hours, and best private. The Executive Officer had also mentioned that Hackett thought his information would not make Shepard happy. Thus, Shepard had coordinated the ship's departure from Earth, and then withdrawn into his cabin. There he now paced up and down and awaited the call.

Hackett had promised to look into the matter of Admiral Kahoku's dead recon unit, an entire unit of marines lured into a trap on Edolus. Thus Shepard assumed the call was about that. _But what did he mean, that this information won't make me happy?_

The call arrived not long after the _Normandy_ had passed the Charon Relay.

"Commander Shepard?" Hackett's voice sounded through Shepard's communicator.

"Right here, Admiral," Shepard confirmed his presence.

"I've received some information I thought you'd want to see, Commander," Hackett said.

"That's good to hear, sir," Shepard answered. "You found a lead regarding the Edolus case?"

"In a way. It might not make you happy, though, Commander," Hackett explained, making Shepard even more anxious about what that meant. "Somebody is killing former Alliance scientists. There have been four deaths in the past month. All four worked on a classified project several years ago. On Akuze. I think you're familiar with the planet and what happened there."

He was. He definitely was, even though he had never been there himself. His mind raced. "I am. Are you telling me... are you saying what happened back then..." He did not even dare to finish the thought.

"An entire marine unit wiped out by Thresher Maws," Hackett went on. "It was classified as a natural hazard, but to me it sounds very similar to what happened on Edolus."

"But Edolus was a trap," Shepard stated. "Sir, are... are you telling me what happened to..." _What happened to Sarah, _ "...what happened to the unit on Akuze had been done deliberately, too? By the _Alliance_?"

"I'm not sure what I should think," Hackett replied. "But the project dates coincide with the attacks. Commander, those thresher maws killed dozens of soldiers. And dozens more were killed on Edolus. If Akuze was more than just an accident we need to know, and if Edolus is connected to it we need to know, too. "

However, Shepard was not fully listening to the Admiral any more. There was only one thought racing through his head. "The Alliance did it..." he said absent-mindedly.

"I'm not sure on that," Hackett answered, "But you now have the chance to find out. There is one last surviving scientist of the project, Dr Wayne. I sent him to an installation in the Kepler Verge, officially for his security. Unofficially, I'm trying to prevent Akuze being covered up. You should go to the facility as quickly as possible, to make sure Dr Wayne is alive. I'm transmitting the location as we speak." He paused and hesitated. "Commander... Shepard... What you do then is up to you. You're a Spectre, after all. But I thought you should know about this."

The Admiral would know of his relationship to Service Chief Sarah Schäfer, the sole survivor of Akuze. He would know what this hence meant to him personally.

Shepard struggled to formulate a clear answer:: "I... Admiral... I appreciate it" _If the Alliance has done this, then I'll tear it apart from the inside out!_ "I'll... look into it. And I'll get this Dr Wayne, oh yes, I will." _And if the Alliance is behind that... _That thought fully dominated Shepard's mind now. He would look up the matter first of course, but it had been an Alliance project, apparently, so at the moment everything pointed to them. _And if it has been them... _That went through Shepard's mind again and again.

"Remember that we might still need him for interrogation," Hackett pointed out, "However, it's up to you. Fifth Fleet out."

The call left Shepard behind angry and confused. For five years now he had thought he had failed Sarah, that he had not been able to support her after the catastrophe that had befallen her. He still thought so, but now it looked like it had not been a catastrophe, a natural disaster at all. Somebody had been responsible for it. Shepard wanted to go _right now_ and utterly destroy those who were, turn them into ash and cinder.

However, of course the _Normandy_ had to reach the Kepler Verge first, and then Dr Wayne would have to be questioned, and the whole issue had to be investigated first... it frustrated Shepard. It frustrated him almost to the point of physical pain. He ordered Pressly to set course for the coordinates he had received from Hackett, gave him command over the ship and then just collapsed on his bed.

He rarely ventured outside his cabin the next two days, leaving command entirely in Pressly's hand. It was not exactly something responsible to do or something that a Commanding Officer should do, but Shepard felt utterly unable to lead the ship as if nothing had happened. _What if it has been the Alliance?_ In that case he could not now command an Alliance vessel.

Shepard was only sure of one thing: Whoever was responsible, regardless of whether it was the Alliance or somebody else, the Commander would hunt them down and make them all pay. His actions against ExoGeni had been due to a deep rooted sense of justice. This, though, was different. This was personal.

When his mind was a bit clearer, he began to wonder about Hackett's role in that. The Admiral had refused to make a call on whether it in fact had been the Alliance, but it must have looked very probable to him, too. And yet, he had sent somebody with a personal relation to the Akuze incident to uncover the story. That certainly was interesting and revealed much about Admiral Hackett. _It reveals many good things about him. _

The only reasons why he ventured out of his cabin at times were to gather food and to visit the toilets. It was on one of his tours to the mess that Garrus intercepted him.

"Commander. I need to talk to you," the turian said.

"What is it, Garrus?" Shepard asked warily. He had no wish to actually talk with him, but he did not want to simply tell him to go away, either. There was no reason to vent his bad mood on others.

"I'm not quite sure what our next mission will be," Garrus began, "Rumour is it has something to do with what we found on Edolus. I realise it's important, and I can see it's troubling you, meaning no disrespect..."

Shepard sighed. "Come to the point, please."

"I've heard we're heading out to the Kepler Verge," Garrus stated. "I have some unfinished business there."

"You?" Shepard asked, a little bit surprised. "What do you have to do with that cluster? It's a dead end on the far side of the Attican Traverse."

"It relates to my work at C-Sec," Garrus explained. "One of my most... disturbing cases. Dr Saleon, the salarian geneticist."

"Let me guess - he's in the Kepler Verge now," Shepard concluded.

"I strongly assume so, yes," Garrus confirmed.

"What did he do?" Shepard asked, even though he was only mildly interested in what Garrus actually had to say.

"Organ smuggling," Garrus answered. "It was a really confusing case. I was tasked with black market trade at that time. Most of it was harmless, nothing I needed to pursue. But during the course of my investigation, I noticed an increase in the trade of body parts. Organs, mostly. We usually get a few of those, but not the numbers I was seeing. We weren't sure if it was a new black market lab or if some freak was harvesting organs from citizens."

"If the case was so bad I assume it was the latter," Shepard guessed, "Though it usually doesn't take a geneticist for it."

"No. Usually the black market labs aren't nearly as bad the psychos," Garrus stated, "There was this one elcor diplomat in the my first year of C-Sec - but, ah, that probably won't interest you, Commander."

"Another time, maybe Garrus," Shepard promised, "At the moment, it's just... I have a lot on my mind."

"I understand, Commander," Garrus answered, "I'll keep it short. We got a sample of one of the traded organs and ran DNA tests. Standard procedure. The weird thing was, the match led us to a turian who was still alive and very convinced he'd never lost his liver. After a bit of digging I discovered the turian had briefly worked for Dr Saleon. That's how he entered the scope of our investigations. However, I couldn't find any evidence for cloned organ development in his lab. So instead I brought in some of his employees for interrogation. When I was interviewing one of them..."

Despite only listening half-heartedly, Shepard noticed how Garrus had pronounced that word. "Interviewing?" he asked.

"Well, I might have turned up the pressure a bit. It paid off, though," Garrus justified himself, "One of my detainees started bleeding profoundly..."

"Bleeding?" Shepard interrupted again, though he did not raise his voice. He was too detached for that. Still, what Garrus said just did not sound right to him. "I'm beginning to doubt just who's the bad guy in the story."

"It wasn't just the pressure we applied," Garrus defended himself, "Let me finish. We offered to patch him up and he got frantic. Freaked out. I ordered a full exam, to find out what was going on. Our medics found incisions all over his body. Some of them fresh. And some had started to bleed again. This was our big break. Those people weren't just Dr Saleon's employees. They were test tubes. Walking, living test tubes."

"He was growing parts inside those people?" Shepard asked.

"Exactly," Garrus confirmed. "He cloned their organs right inside their own bodies. Than he harvested them and sold them off. Most of the victims were poor. He'd pay them each a small percentage of the sales, but only if the organs were good. Sometimes an organ wouldn't grow properly, so he'd just leave it in them. Most of them were a mess, but only on the inside - hidden, so nobody could see it."

"And seeing as he's in the Kepler Verge now, Saleon got away with it?" Shepard concluded.

"Yeah, that's the worst part," Garrus answered, "He blew his lab, grabbed some of his employees, and headed for the nearest space dock. By the time I found out, his ship was already leaving. He threatened to kill his employees if we tried to stop him."

"Ah. A hostage situation," Shepard commented half-heartedly "Ugly."

"I ordered Citadel defence to shoot him down," Garrus continued his tale, "but C-Sec headquarters counter-mandated my order. They were worried about the hostages. Worried about civilian casualties if the ship was destroyed so close to the Citadel. I told them those hostages were dead anyway. He'd just use them to make more organs. But they wouldn't listen."

"There is the issue of civilian casualties to consider," Shepard insisted. "That's what the police exists for, after all. To protect the population."

"It would've been a risk," Garrus admitted, "But at least we would've stopped the bastard responsible for the whole mess."

This did shake Shepard out of his detachment. He remembered his first talk with Garrus aboard the _Normandy_, and became a bit annoyed with him. "A risk not justified," he argued. "If you care more about hunting down your prey, about getting what you want, than actually protecting people, then you're not better than he is. Then you're just a terrorist with a badge." He sighed. _Not that I've acted fully according to the rules on Feros, either. _ "That's what I worry about sometimes in my own line of work," he added.

"Yeah. maybe you're right," Garrus admitted quietly. "It doesn't make it any easier, but I'm sure you know how that is. I don't think you need to worry, personally. I see your point, and I think you keep to it most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Shepard inquired weakly.

"None of us is perfect, Commander," Garrus stated. "Not me, either."

"Yeah, I guess," Shepard said. "So, now you want to catch this Saleon? Do you even know where he is?"

"Yeah. Or at least I think so," Garrus confirmed. "According to what information I have he changed ships and now goes by the name of Dr Heart - his idea of a joke, I guess. I found out just before I joined up with you, so I couldn't do anything with the information yet. And it's not verified, so C-Sec won't act on it. Especially since they'd have to ask the Alliance Navy for help. It's your jurisdiction, after all. C-Sec won't make such requests unless they're absolutely sure. They're just too afraid of embarrassing themselves."

"Yeah. I know what that's like," Shepard commented. "Political considerations about showing strength, no matter who gets to suffer under it."

"Exactly," Garrus agreed. "But as a Spectre you have universal jurisdiction, and you are in fact a System Alliance Commander..." His voice trailed off.

"All right," Shepard said. "If it will give you some peace... hah. I guess it's just fair enough. Maybe this Cluster will get us both some peace." _Not that Garrus will know what I'm talking about._ _"_What's his ship?"

"It's the _MSV Fedele_, an Alliance-registered cargo freighter," Garrus explained. "I was able to track it for a while, and the last signal I got from it was from the Herrschel system."

"Okay, I think we can check that out en route," Shepard promised.

"Thank you, Commander," Garrus answered, "Please, take me with you when you go. If it is Saleon, I want to be there when you find him."

"As said, if it gets you some peace of mind, then fair enough," Shepard agreed.

"Thank you," Garrus replied, "Well, I don't want to further disturb you, so..."

And neither did Shepard want to be further delayed by him. Rather, he wanted to return to his anger and isolation. "So long, Garrus" he thus said, and resumed his way to the mess.

...

The _MSV Fedele _was indeed found in the Herrschel system. It was a standard freighter of the Kowloon class, and registered to a 'Dr R. Heart'. In addition to the standard cargo bay, there were several biological research modules attached to the hull. So far, it all seemed to add up. However, the ship was adrift and with only minimal power. Something must have happened to her. Shepard drew together his Spectre entourage as boarding team, and entered the ship.

Given what Garrus had told him about Saleon, Shepard expected the worst. However, the squad could find nothing in the ship's docking entrance area, which looked reasonably clean and well-lit, showing no sign of any machine malfunction and no evidence of Saleon's crimes. Nonetheless, he had Garrus record everything with his visor. After Feros, that had become a standard procedure of the squad: Missions and deployments were recorded, pre-emptively so to say. If the footage turned out to be unimportant, one could always still delete it afterwards, but if need be Shepard wanted to have evidence for everything. The battle against ExoGeni had shown to him the need for that.

It proved to be a wise decision as soon as Shepard had opened the door to the cargo bay.

A strange creature leaped at him with a muffled shriek. The Commander was shocked and reminded of Feros. The creature looked like a Thorian creeper. The entire squad retreated some steps and started firing. Whatever the creature was, it went down quickly.

"What the hell..." Shepard muttered, and took a closer look at the corpse. He could see why he had been reminded of the creepers, but it was not one. It was a horribly distorted salarian. His head skin was terribly stretched and pierced, and the rest of his body so densely covered in tumours that they formed a sort of second, thick and uneven, grey skin. It was a horrible sight. Shepard could hear Liara breathing heavily. When he looked up, he saw that she had paled to really unhealthy levels.

"Now we know what the bio-research modules are there for," Wrex stated flatly. "I wouldn't make a bet against this being Saleon's ship any more."

"You're right" Garrus answered tersely, "But you could show a bit more respect for his victims."

"If all victims are like that, we'll have to kill them anyway," Wrex commented unmoved, "Not much respect in that."

"We'll show them respect by stopping Saleon," Garrus replied heatedly.

Shepard observed the tense exchange wordlessly. He and Garrus often held different opinions, yet could work together, and Garrus and Tali, too, seemed to have found some middle ground. However, the relationship between Garrus and Wrex appeared to remain constantly frosty. That was potentially something to worry about. However, at the moment Shepard simply did not care for such details. _Maybe after I've found Dr Wayne. _

In contrast to the entrance area, the cargo bay showed several signs of malfunction. It was poorly lit, and all its electronic terminals displayed error messages. Several huge crates filled the room. The squad moved through stacks of them that reached up to the ceiling and which turned the middle of the cargo bay into something resembling a maze. Shepard felt uncomfortably reminded of the _MSV Cornocupia_, another Kowloon class freighter, which the _Normandy _had found in the Maroon Sea star cluster and which had been filled with husks.

Shepard moved through the crates with his shotgun drawn. He pointed it in all directions in an attempt to watch and guard as much space as possible. While he felt uneasy, his training, as much as he had loathed it, and his years of experience gave him some security and comfort. He was a professional and thus knew how to handle such environments.

"Enemy sighted," Liara transmitted through the communicators. She sounded calm, her voice as soft as always. _She's getting experience, too. And that fast._

Shepard ran towards her position, and found her and Wrex shooting at three heavily deformed people who were rushing towards them. By the looks of them Shepard guessed it were two turians and one human or asari – it was difficult to tell. Most likely they had been the victims of Saleon's crimes; people turned into mindless monsters. They were not at fault for what had happened to them, not at fault for their aggressivity, and yet they had to be put down.

More of them came rushing from every direction. However, they were uncoordinated, coming one after the next, and so they were shot down one by one. Shepard managed to put aside any thoughts about the innocence of those people - and people they were or at least had been. He had been trained to focus on the battle and only on the battle, and that was what he was doing now.

After a while, the battle faded down and no further horribly disfigured persons came running towards them any more. By then, the ground was covered in liquids of different colour – red, blue, green. _Blood. Of all the different species. _However, Shepard noticed those liquids even in locations where there had been no battle, and in some cases they had even already dried to a stain.

"Commander," Tali spoke up, "you might want to take a look at this."

She stood besides one of the corpse. Upon closer inspection, Shepard saw that the person had been human, male. His arms and legs extended from him in really weird angles, and their joints seemed to be severely disfigured. However, he was less covered in tumours than the rest of Saleon's former test subjects.

Tali pointed to the right hand of the man, which was entirely free of tumours, still showing normal human skin. "Do you see that symbol?"

Shepard looked closer and saw a branding mark, which appeared to be a stylised version of the letter A. "A slave mark?" he asked. He knew how slavers operated, how they treated their victims like cattle. Including branding.

"That symbol was one of the things that were transmitted to your omni-tool, by the women you had arrested," Tali said.

Shepard remembered. _Helena Blake. _She had told him her partners in a crime syndicate were in the slavery business, and that he should hence find and eliminate them. However, Shepard had just seen it as a pathetic ploy to get him to kill her rivals in the syndicate, and had hence arrested her. "So she was right on that point at least," he said quietly. "Seems like her partners do slavery indeed."

He looked up again and shook his head. "That would explains how Saleon could continue his... 'work', even after his escape. We need to find him."

Fortunately, Kowloon class freighters were not all that large. After having passed the cargo bay, they pretty quickly found a locked room. Inside, there was a salarian. An unaltered, unhurt salarian, with dark reddish-brown skin.

He spoke up before Shepard could say anything: "Thank you! Thank you for saving me from those... things!"

"Things?" Shepard asked enraged. He had no doubt this person was in fact Saleon. "They were once people!"

"I..." the salarian began in response, but Shepard paid him no need.

"Garrus, is it him?" he asked.

"Yes," the turian answered. "That's Dr Saleon."

"What?" Saleon exclaimed. "My name is Heart. Dr Heart. Please get me out of here."

Garrus raised his weapon in response and pointed it at the salarian. "There is no escape this time, Doctor," he said. "I'd harvest your organs first, but we don't have the time."

"You're crazy," Saleon shouted and then turned to face Shepard. "He's crazy. Please, don't let him do this to me."

"I will get you out of here, Saleon," Shepard promised. "And right into a holding cell."

"What? But... we have him!" Garrus protested. "We can't let him get away. Not again?"

"We won't let him get away. I promise, Garrus," Shepard reassured the turian. "But it's the court's business to decide about his fate, according to the laws on the book - and not ours. We uphold laws, and don't create them." Shepard felt the need to cling to that doctrine, in order to not become as rotten as Saren had, or as bad as some corrupt cops he had known during his youth. "Besides, if that doesn't convince you - we need to know just what's he's been up to, how he did it, what his partners in the organ trade were. They all need to be brought to justice, too, after all."

"I've... Okay, you're right," Garrus conceded and then addressed Saleon: " You're a very lucky salarian. You owe the Commander your life. "

Saleon, however, was less impressed. :"Oh thank you so very much," he said scathingly sarcastically. Then he threw a tech proximity mine at the squad and jumped behind a crate.

Immediately afterwards, it became clear why Saleon had fled to this particular room: Several automated guns, worked into the wall plates, revealed themselves and began firing. A heated fight began, which sorely tested the surprised squad's shield. By the time all guns had been destroyed, Wrex' and Shepard's shield had faltered, and the krogan had suffered several minor shot wounds. However, given his krogan anatomy, that was not much of a problem to him.

The last two guns went out with surprisingly large explosions – and Dr Saleon had been right next to them.

"And so he dies anyway," Garrus complained, "What was the point of that?"

"I would've liked to catch him alive," Shepard protested. "Sometimes, it just doesn't succeed. But that's no reason not to try it. It was still right to attempt it, for all the named reasons."

"This time, maybe," Garrus argued "But such attempts are always a risk. What if your targets can flee because you tried to haul them in alive?"

"I know what you mean, but..." Shepard began, hesitated, and then attempted a new formulation: "You just can't predict how people will act, Garrus. You can only choose how you will react. In the end, that's what really matters."

"Yeah..." Garrus replied. It sounded surprisingly convinced. Shepard must have hit an issue important to the turian. "I don't think I've met anybody like you, Commander."

"Heh. Glad to know I'm unique," Shepard answered, surprised by Garrus' sudden change of mind, "Take some more records of the _Fedele_, and then we're gone from here."

…

Shepard felt ill. He knew it was just his nerves, but as the Mako landed on Ontarom he felt physically ill. He had feared something like this might happen, and so had let Garrus drive the vehicle. The Commander realised he would most likely find out very soon just what had happened on Akuze, but suddenly part of him recoiled at that. What if it had been the Alliance? The answer to that question now lay so near, so terribly near.

The planet's science facility, the location Admiral Hackett had sent Dr Wayne to, was not responding to calls from the _Normandy_. That was a bad sign, a portent that whoever had committed Akuze had been faster, and now would finish their cover-up work. As the Mako approached the facility, the squad further tried to initiate contact, but received no answer.

The facility itself looked very much unremarkable. It was a standard model for such installations, not different to several Shepard had already seen. However it turned out to be completely empty, as if abandoned by any personal. It was eerie, walking through the halls and corridors of the facility and finding nobody. _How far would anybody go for a cover-up? Have they all been killed? But why are there no signs of combat then?_

Those were not Shepard's main concerns, though. His mind was occupied by what he would find here. While there was the real possibility Dr Wayne was already dead, he was far more worried about the possibility of finding him alive. Scenarios ran through his head - what he would do if it had been the Alliance, or desperate ideas on who else it could have been.

It was Tali who solved the mystery of the missing personal. She hacked into one the facility's computer system and found out somebody else already hadit with a false evacuation order. This explained why the squad had found nobody, but - _The Alliance would have no need to issue _false_ orders. Unless of course it had been planned as a measure of plausible deniability..._ He really wanted to know, but at the same time feared knowing.

He had taken only his Spectre entourage with him. If it turned out the Alliance was responsible - he was not yet entirely clear on what he would do in that case. Most likely he would expose their actions, and would hunt down those persons directly responsible. In any case, though, it was maybe prudent not to have other Alliance soldiers around.

He heard shouts from down the corridor he was currently waking in. Immediately the entire squad ran towards the source of that shouting. It came from behind a closed door. Garrus quickly opened it, and the squad entered a hall - and saw two people, one in a scientist's outfit, the other in a space suit or armour. The latter one was aiming a pistol at the head of the former.

"Stay back!" the armed man shouted to the squad. "I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

"Please! He's a madman!" the scientist pleaded, and then turned again to the other man: "Mr Toombs, you're insane! You need help."

"It's Corporal! Corporal Toombs!" Toombs shouted back, "You don't get to lie! Not today! Today it all comes out!"

_Corporal Toombs... is it really him? _The surprise hit Shepard like a blunt object."Toombs? Corporal Toombs?" the Commander asked. "My god... Sarah... I mean, Service Chief Schäfer, she used to tell me about you." _She used to tell me about all of you. Of everybody of her dead unit. Whenever she fell to despair again. _"I thought you died on Akuze!"

"Schäfer? She... is she alive?" Toombs asked and hesitated.

That question, even though it had been obvious to come, still felt like a further hit to the guts for Shepard. Quietly he answered: "She survived the thresher maws. People thought her to be the sole survivor of Akuze. But she... she just..." He trailed off, and feared not being able to talk further. _Pull together, man. _He looked down, shook his head and continued in a very quiet voice: "She couldn't cope with it." He looked up again and saw Toombs right into the eyes. "She died three years later. By her own hand."

"Another live ruined by those people! Just like mine!" Toombs exclaimed.

"'Those people' were an Alliance science team," Shepard pointed out, "Tell me, what did they do, Corporal?" _I need to know._

"The thresher maws... the scientists were studying them," Toombs explained. "They let them hit our unit, just to watch! I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted I'd survived. Now they had someone to run tests on."

_Tests. _That sounded bad, given the context. _I need to know. All of it_. "Tests? What kinda 'tests'?" Shepard asked.

"You can't believe Toombs!" the scientist, most likely Dr Wayne, exclaimed. "He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!"

"Shut up!" Shepard ordered. He shuddered slightly. Given what he had heard so far he had no reason to doubt Toombs.. The Commander turned to the Corporal again and inquired further: "What did they do to you, Corporal?"

"Ever had thresher maw acid in your veins? I have," Toombs stated, "They wanted to see what it could do. They tortured me for years, treated me like a lab animal! So... this is justice. This man deserves to die. So, are you to kill me or not?"

_I'm going to bomb Arcturus Station into dust..._ Shepard breathed out. He was not, actually. What he would do was expose what the Alliance had done, even if it gave Udina further screaming fits. Besides, he had to approach this rationally, step for step. "You're a soldier, Corporal. You still are," he told Toombs. _It's obvious it's important to him, a way to cling to his previous life_. "So think tactically. This man might deserve to die... hell, he does. But so do his superiors, and their superiors, and everybody who has ordered the project or was in any way involved with it." He became agitated. "It was an Alliance project, for god's sake! We need..."

"The Alliance?" Toombs asked. The question had been rather quiet, yet it was enough to interrupt Shepard. "Is that what they told the galaxy? No, that wasn't the Alliance."

"What?" Shepard asked, surprised. He had _accepted_ that it had been the Alliance. He had invested so much emotionally into it to reach that acceptance that Toombs' claim now took him aback.

"It was Cerberus," Toombs explained, "A secret organisation, a conspiracy. I did see much Alliance equipment at the Akuze facility, and the scientists were Alliance personal. And I did some investigations afterward. Cerberus has much influence, especially within the Alliance. It doesn't surprise me they could label one of their projects as belonging to the Alliance." He began to shout again and took closer aim at Wayne again: "But it wasn't the Alliance! It was Cerberus! It was people like him!"

"_Wait!_" Shepard shouted. "Corporal, stop! You're doing Cerberus' work!"

"Explain," Toombs answered through gritted teeth. "Quickly, or you're next." He began to wave his pistol back and forth between Shepard and Wayne.

"I... fuck." Shepard began and rubbed his forehead. He needed to explain everything now, but it was difficult, especially as he himself was still confused about the matter. "I had assumed it was the Alliance. It fit so well. But I've heard of Cerberus. They killed an entire pioneer settlement on Chasca, to study the effects of geth technology. The same pattern, all over again! So, _that_ fits damn well. But that just means Cerberus needs to be brought down. Hell, Corporal, have you ever thought about how the Cerberus bosses, whoever they are, might see your actions? They probably cheer you on; what superb way to cover up one of their crimes!"

"I... I..." Toombs stuttered, "But what else can I do?"

"Listen, Corporal, I'm a Spectre," Shepard explained, "I can arrest the man and interrogate him. The truth will come out. The main thing now is hurting Cerberus, not hurting him."

"Weren't you listening?" Toombs asked. "Cerberus is too powerful. They would never allow themselves to be exposed. No Alliance Court would ever sentence him, Cerberus has their moles everywhere!"

"That just means we can't hand him over to the Alliance," Shepard replied, "But I'm above the law, never forget that. I can get the truth out of this many any way I want to. Any creative way I want to. It's just too bad I probably won't be able to purchase thresher maw acid anywhere."_Am I bluffing? Or am I serious?_ He really did not know himself any more.

"You... you can't do that!" Wayne exclaimed, "Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?"

"Dead people," Shepard responded icily.

"I... you're right," Toombs conceded, "I'm still a soldier. I need to think tactically. And Cerberus needs to go down."

"You have contributed to it," Shepard assured him. "If you hadn't killed the other scientists, then there wouldn't have been worries and reports at Navy Command, and without that my... source inside it would never have been able to tell me about all this here. Good work, Corporal, you did a fine mission."

"Thank you," Toombs said. "It's good to know." He held his head between his hands, "Maybe the screaming will go now. I don't know. "

"You're home now," Shepard replied. "The Navy will take care of their own. Garrus, Wrex, secure Wayne. Don't injure him... but be rough with him."_And I thought I could be fair play cop. Always do what's right, never_ be t_he law. But they... they killed Sarah's unit. They drove her to suicide! I'll kill them all, and to hell with my restraints! If that makes me a hypocrite, then I am one!_ " Come on, Corporal. My ship will take you away from here."

Shepard stayed in the hall for a moment, while Wayne was transported away and while Liara led Toombs outside. Tali looked back to him for a moment, but then also followed the others.

The revelation he just had been given was world changing for him. He had not been able to save Sarah, had not been able to bring her back from despair, even though he had felt and still felt that he should have been able to. They had been in a relationship for nearly two years, and during this time Shepard had seen her coming ever closer to the abyss. No matter his actions, his support for her, his love, he had not been able to turn her back from it. She had not been able to deal with what had happened on Akuze, and eventually had committed suicide.

Shepard still thought this as a failure of himself, but now also saw a chance to at least partly redeem himself. He could at least avenge her now. He remembered her despair and her recollections of the event, and thus felt a burning need for revenge himself. Added to that was the revelation that it had not been the Alliance: Shepard had a target for his desire for revenge now, a very clear cut target for his revenge. He would hunt down that target and make it pay. Whatever Cerberus actually was, Shepard mentally vowed to utterly annihilate it, no matter how.

He clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth. Then he followed the others.

…

Shepard sat on his bed and held his head in his hands. He had showered, changed into his regular uniform and generally calmed down for a while. Now it was time to deal with the issue of Dr Wayne. He had been led to the ship's brig, and Garrus and Wrex had been tasked with guarding it - people only Shepard could give orders to, not the Alliance. Given how Admiral Kahoku had been obstructed, Shepard had no doubt about Cerberus' influence inside the Alliance, so he had to take care in that regard.

However, he really did not want to deal with Dr Wayne. Or rather, he did want to, but he also feared to. To a large degree that was because he did not quite know what to do with him. He did not know if he had bluffed when he had threatened him with harsh interrogation or not. Just days ago he had called out Garrus over the issue, and it would totally compromise his moral stances - _But by all gods that may be out there, do I ever want to _hurt_ the bastard!_

He sighed and rose. He needed to deal with Dr Wayne, no matter how. Whatever had happened on Akuze, it was imperative that it got out into the open. _Also no matter how?_ With heavy steps he left his cabin and made his way to the brig.

He encountered Garrus on the way. The turian seemed to have waited on Shepard, and immediately approached him.

"Commander," he said, "if I may ask, what are you planning to do now?"

Of all people on the ship, Garrus was probably the one Shepard had the least desire to talk to. Not due to any fault of the turian, but rather due to his own faults. The difference between how he had ordered Garrus to treat Saleon and how he had addressed Wayne were glaring. "Going to the brig," Shepard answered truthfully, but rather non-informatively.

"What you said to Dr Wayne..." Garrus said, and began to walk besides the Commander, "About 'creative ways' to get information from him - "

"It helped to convince Corporal Toombs, didn't it?" Shepard interrupted him, before the turian could stumble out an accusation of hypocrisy. _Now if only I knew whether that was indeed the only reason I said so, whether it was in fact a bluff._

"Is that all there is to it?" Garrus asked.

Shepard kept silent in response. He just did not know, and he feared he would not be able to convincingly lie on the matter, either.

"You told me not to usurp power from courts, to respect everybody's basic rights" Garrus continued. Strangely, his voice remained entirely neutral, free of any accusations, "I could see you really believe that. Do you want to throw this away now?"

"No," Shepard answered curtly but truthfully. He did not _want_ to, not really. However, it was possible he would.

"If you want to... apply pressure on Wayne I can't condemn you," Garrus said, "However, I'm really not sure anymore what to think of it. After your earlier talks with me and now... this."

That was probably as close as the C-Sec agent would come to a true accusation. _I know Garrus. Trust me, I know. _"Follow ideals, not people," Shepard advised coolly. He really did not want to have to further listen to the turian. His inner turmoil was bad enough as it was.

"You have done a lot of good so far, Commander, but you would..." Garrus obviously searched for the right words, "...you'd lose a lot of moral authority that way,"

"So noted," Shepard replied and left Garrus behind. The turian apparently gave up on the matter and remained behind, to the great relief of the Commander.

He could not keep his mind from thinking about what Garrus had said, though. No matter his desire to see Cerberus exposed and destroyed, no matter his earlier conviction to achieve that regardless of how, Shepard still felt very much uncomfortable about interrogating somebody using - _Torture. That's what I've been thinking of, even if I've been too afraid to consciously name it so. _As Garrus had pointed out, it would be a major compromisation of his morals. The problem, though, was that his _emotions_ came to an entirely different conclusion.

And if that inner conflict, heated on by Garrus, was not bad enough, Lieutenant Alenko was standing just outside the holding cell. He very obviously was waiting on Shepard, too. However, he did not speak up immediately as Garrus had, which gave the Commander time to ask ironically: "So, what do you have to tell me, Alenko? Did you coordinate yourself with Garrus?"

"Ah..." Alenko began surprised. "No. What did he do?" It sounded sincere.

"Never mind," Shepard replied, "So, what do you want?"

"Commander... Shepard..." Alenko said, "I don't know what you plan to do with Dr Wayne, but there seem to be personal issues involved." _Observant. _"I just wanted to give you an advice, an advice to a friend: Don't become sloppy because you're too involved. Don't cut corners."

Shepard blinked several times. _Damn._ It was a reference to an earlier conversation he had held with the Lieutenant. "I... see what you mean, Alenko," he answered. He wanted to say more, say _anything_, but nothing came to mind. Alenko remained silent, too.

Shepard shook his head and entered the holding cell.


	15. Ch15: Geth Incursion

Shepard looked at the prisoner sitting on the brick's bed. Dr Wayne, former Alliance scientist. At least, officially. In truth, he had been a Cerberus scientist conducting unethical and murderous experiments. It had been Cerberus who had sent an entire marine platoon to their death, just so they could watch how Thresher Maws fought. There had been only two survivors, and one had later been driven into suicide. Sarah Schäfer, at that time Shepard's girlfriend.

So now Shepard wanted the truth. The truth, and revenge.

However, an inner turmoil dominated his thoughts. He wanted revenge, he wanted to simply hurt the bastard in front of him - but this would go against all his convictions, all he ever argued for, all he had scolded others for. He had met both Garrus and Alenko on his way to the brig, and neither meeting had been coincidental. He did not quite know what he could say to them if he now broke his convictions.

Still - he just _had_ to find out the truth. He still did not quite know what to do.

He shook his head, scoffed and began: "So, tell me about Cerberus!"

Wayne looked up, the first time since Shepard had entered the cell. "You have no idea with whom you're dealing!"

"Indeed," Shepard agreed, "That's why I'm asking you. And I _will_ get those answers."

"Nothing you can threaten me with can be any worse than what they could do to me!" Wayne claimed.

"We'll see about that," Shepard threatened and walked towards Wayne, "I _will_ get the knowledge I want, I..." He stopped and breathed out. He would get that knowledge, yes. Eventually. Wayne was his prisoner now, and eventually he would talk. Shepard realized that what he wanted was not Wayne talking, but him talking _now_. He was about to do matters quickly and carelessly. _To cut corners_.

He breathed out again and turned his back to Wayne. "I will to whatever it takes to make you talk," he stated.

"And Cerberus will do whatever it takes to keep me quiet, or to make an example out of me if I talk!" Wayne exclaimed.

"That's why you get for working for such an organization," Shepard said. "However, I'm not in a hurry. Be glad I'm not." He turned around to face Wayne again. "You have two choices: You can talk now ad in the next conversations. Everything will be civilized, a normal interrogation. But, if that doesn't work, if you really keep your mouth entirely shut - then eventually I will force you to spill everything. With rather uncivilized means." _I won't cut corners. But I will do what's necessary. However, it just isn't necessary yet. I won't do this sloppily. I won't commit crimes myself. Not if I don't need to._

"What, already shying away from harsh measures?" Wayne mocked. "Your threats are hollow,"

Shepard's first instinctive reaction was anger coming up, but he suppressed that very quickly. Wayne was his prisoner and utterly powerless now. Mockery was all he had left. It were in fact his words which were empty. "Believe what you want," he told the doctor, "as long as you talk." He turned towards the door. Before opening it and leaving the cell, he said with his back to Wayne: "You know your two choices. Choose well."

000000

Zhu's Hope did not look any nicer on a second look. There simply was no way one could call prefabs crammed together like that any aesthetic, not even by quarian standards. Which was a pity, because the surrounding ancient Prothean towers could look very impressive from the outside. However, Zhu's Hope was located in the inside of one such tower, an entire settlement on a skyscraper level, and hence ugly, grey walls of concrete surrounded the already bleak looking settlement.

_At least nobody is shooting at us this time. That's an improvement. And without Thorian spores controlling them, the inhabitants are much nicer, too. Too bad they don't have the means to make something better out of this place. _That was a situation Tali could sympathize with, though.

It was the only settlement in the entire cluster, and hence despite all its faults the _Normandy_ had returned here, together with most of the 4th Fleet of the Alliance Navy, which had gathered to make a further concentrated effort to push the geth out of the Armstrong Cluster. An armada to take the war to the synthetics.

Tali was glad that she could be part of that endeavour, especially as part of the crew of the _Normandy, _the central ship in the war plans. The 4th Fleet had already tried once to dislodge the geth, and failed. Now, they would try again, but with a change of plans: All those ships would now merely serve as a distraction for the geth, to draw their ships away from their outposts. The _Normandy_ would then use its stealth abilities to slip past those battles and drop its ground troops on the contested planets. Which then would take out the outposts. Or at least, that was the plan.

It was ironic that a small frigate would be the central element of the war effort, but Tali certainly enjoyed the fact. The ship's crew, including her, would deliver the most critical contribution, which meant she could make a real difference in the fight against the geth - and she certainly enjoyed fighting the synthetics. It was not a hot burning rage; after all the quarian exile had went on for centuries even before she had been born. However, it was a cold hate in the back of her mind, something she had grown up with and had absorbed with every fiber of her being.

The command staff of the 4th Fleet had built up a strategical command centre in one of the towers neighbouring Zhu's Hope. Shepard was there most of the time, taking part in making plans, coordinating efforts, establishing time schedules. He was very busy, and Tali only saw him rarely.

While that was understandable, Tali had the feeling the Commander also intentionally avoided her. Ever since the _Normandy's_ departure from Earth, he had been hardly approachable, if at all. And whereas the two had regularly spent a considerable part of their free time together before, she had talked hardly a dozen sentences with him since Earth.

She knew what it was about, as she had witnessed what had happened on Ontarom. She could hence understand Shepard's state of mind. However, she wished she could help him. She was by now good enough at reading him that she could see when his hard and grim face was just a facade and in those moments she longed to reach out to him, to support him. However, she knew she could not force the issue. She could talk to him once he would be ready to talk again, and it was not like she could reach out to him in any other way, as much she would have liked to.

She was worried about Shepard, but there was precisely little she could do. So, instead she had made use of her free time to walk around Zhu's Hope. Garrus, Liara and Alenko had joined her, as they all currently had nothing to do. With the _Normandy_ still docked, there were not many pressing duties aboard. And walking around a container village surrounded by ugly concrete was still preferable to doing nothing at all.

"It seems all effects of the Thorian's mind control have disappeared, fortunately," Liara commented when the group halted just outside the settlement proper.

"Hopefully this gives the colonists a new chance to make something better out of this place," Alenko added.

"They certainly are already well organised," Garrus commented, "Considering how few time has passed since we defeated the creature. Martinez has proven to be a competent new leader."

Arcelia Martinez, originally just a 'cop-for-hire' on the colony, had officially taken over leadership of the colony after Fai Dan had died during the battle against the Thorian. However, Tali was doubtful how much it was her merit that reconstruction efforts already had started: "From all I've heard, the colony would be considerably worse off if it weren't for Shiala. She seems to be running things here."

"It is good then that they've found such competent help," Liara said, "It's not easy for them, after they lost the financial support of ExoGeni,"

"The Commander was still right in pursuing them," Garrus replied firmly, while Alenko nodded fiercely.

"Besides, depending on how the trial goes, they might get financial compensations," Alenko said. "Another matter Shiala is taking care of."

"So I've heard," Garrus agreed, "She's on Earth now, isn't she?"

"Indeed," Liara confirmed, "She's no legal expert, especially not concerning human law, but then she doesn't need to be. Anita Goyle is organizing everything. However, the colony just needs a competent representative at the trial. Hopefully, if there are any compensations they'll arrive quickly. It looks like the colony could need them."

"Knowing our legal system, I wouldn't bet on it," Alenko commented gloomily. "This is a big issue, so the trial will probably take years."

"That's just not how things should be," Garrus argued fiercely, but then caught himself and continued almost sheepishly: "But I guess there are many issues in turian society humans would find objectionable, too."

This was followed by an uneasy silence, until Liara spoke up: "If they even have years. I mean, if any of us still has years."

"If we don't catch Saren we most likely won't," Alenko replied, "However, we'll just have to have faith that we'll catch him and ward off the Reaper threat. Until then we carry on and do what's right."

That statement was followed by an even more profound silence. _Liara is right. For all Shepard did right here, will it even matter if the Reapers manage to return?_

After a while, Liara tried yet again to restart the conversation: "I understand the Commander has given you a new task, Garrus."

"Yeah," the turian answered, "I'm in charge of interrogating our newest prisoner."

"Given what Commander Shepard said on Ontarom, that's probably a good thing," Liara commented.

"I can understand him, I really can," Garrus stated, "But he's just too involved in this case. Besides, I have experience in such procedures."

"I saw him on the way to the holding cell," Alenko said quietly. "I think... I think he was _this_ close," He held up index finger and thumb of his right hand and kept them very close to each other, "To doing something he'd regret later."

"He didn't, though," Garrus answered. "In the end he showed a sufficient degree of self-control, and didn't compromise his principles." The respect in the statement was evident.

Tali had not heard of that incident, and even though it had apparently all ended well, it made her feel even more worried about Shepard and his current state of mind. She had witnessed the scene on Ontarom. She could understand Shepard's anger and hate. It was not just his righteous fury as displayed against ExoGeni or Udina; this issue was personal for him. On the one side she respected that, but on the other side she hoped that Shepard would not do something he would later regret, as Alenko had formulated it.

"Does anybody know what will happen with the prisoner now?" she asked

"That's difficult," Alenko explained, "Shepard is unwilling to hand him over to the Alliance, considering what influence Cerberus seems to have over it. Which is a scary thought all in itself. I think the Commander is right in that, but that means nobody quite knows what to do with Wayne now."

"For now, we interrogate him," Garrus continued, "If we have gotten all useful information he has - we'll see then. The Commander has mused about turning him over to the Council, but I'm not sure they'd be interested in it. It appears to be a human problem, after all."

"And yet Commander Shepard would be willing to get the Council involved," Liara said, "to drag inner-human problems into the open."

Alenko smiled faintly. "That's just the way he is. Justice at any price, even if it means the Alliance will get embarrassed."

"Another shouting match with Udina in the making," Tali commented.

"It's a moot point for now," Garrus pointed out, "Since we have nothing to get the Council interested in Cerberus. But I'm sure the Commander will find a solution. He usually does."

That was something all four could agree on.

…...

Tali was nervous.

Normally that was something she could deal with fairly well. Both her training and her recent experiences enabled her to put such emotions aside and focus on the work at hand. At the moment, however, there was no work to be done.

She stood at her terminal in Engineering, but it did not display the Tantalus Core's statistics, or power supply peaks or other related things. Rather, it showed a schematic map of the ships surrounding the _Normandy_. It was the battle fleet assembled to deal with the geth in the Armstrong Nebula, and at the moment they were preparing to jump into that cluster.

Standard doctrine for trans-relay assaults was to have the assault fleet jump as one formation. This could lead to the attacking unit ending up vastly wide away from the intended target, but at least it would stay in formation. Since it was expected that battle would break out nearly immediately once the fleet had jumped into the Nebula, this was an important point. Besides, the fleet jumping in one go would mean the geth could not tell how many ships were involved, which would keep the _Normandy_ hidden from them.

The ship and her ground team would play an important part in the operations, and most likely this would include Tali. Right now, however, all she could do was to wait for that to happen, with nothing else to do. All systems ran smoothly, and hence she had nothing else to do than to watch the fleet get into formation. That wait made her nervous.

"Preparing for jump," Chief Engineer Adams announced. The great moment was upon them.

A single ship using a mass relay already was quite a spectactle of light and energy being released. A whole fleet using a relay at once was on another level all together. Enormous flashes of dark energy swirled around the ships, surrounding them. The Mass Relay connected with its counterpart in the Armstrong Cluster, opened a mass-free transit corridor - and accelerated the fleet.

As a quarian, Tali was used to this process. The Migrant Fleet was so large that it could not jump in one go, and relay transits often took days - days full of such scenes, one jump of hundreds of ships after the next. So she was somewhat jaded to the sight. Her mind was much more occupied with what they would encounter on the other side.

The jump was surprisingly exact. The fleet ended up in the outer fringes of the Hong system, and immediately set course for their intended target: The moons of Theshaca. Since Theshaca was a gas giant in a mass relay system, it was commonly used by spaceships to discharge their drive cores. Unfortunately, this could include pirate ships, as well. So in 2178 the Alliance had set up a series of covert sensing devices on the planet's moons to record the pirate's FTL exit vectors. Over the course of six months, this had allowed the Alliance Navy to track down and destroy eight major pirate bases.

Since then, no ships from the Terminus Systems had been reported from the Hong system anymore – but now it was in geth hands. Practically all devices had been destroyed by the synthetics, but they could never be sure of it. An Alliance raid to protect remaining sensors, or download data from them, would hence make perfect sense.

However, that was just a distraction.

"You better get to the Mako now, Tali," Chief Engineer Adams ordered.

She nodded and turned to go – because the real reason that this massive fleet had been set in motion was the _Normandy_ and only the _Normandy_. She would slip past the geth under cover of the chaotic battle and her own stealth systems, and would drop a ground team that then would take out the system's geth outpost. At least that was the plan, and Tali would be part of that ground team. _A major military operation, just so that I and four other people get a chance to shoot geth. I better don't screw this up._

She ran most of the way, and found most of the selected squad already seated. Only Commander Shepard himself was still missing. Besides her, Garrus, Wrex and Williams would accompany him.

Shepard came running to the Mako only some seconds after Tali and took the driver's seat.

"We're right above Casbin now," he explained. "Drop in a minute."

The hangar doors of the cargo bay opened slowly. Tali could see the ground below them, which meant the _Normandy_ already had entered the planetary atmosphere.

"Starting orbital insertion... now!" Shepard announced and sped up the Mako.

This was the sixth time that Tali was inside an orbital inserted vehicle, so she was already used to it. There was still some drill to it, to fall towards a planet from incredible heights, but it was actually quite safe due to the Mako's element zero core. It reduced the tank's mass, so that supported by its thrusters it could land quite comfortably on the planet.

Casbin was a "pre-garden world". It was barren, but not as barren as most planets. A thick layer of green lichen covered most of its ubitiquous rocks and stones. Green and gray stretched as far as Tali could see.

"Checking our position," Garrus said, and after a pause announced: "According to the _Normandy's_ orbital scans, the geth oupost is north-east of here, not far away. Close enough that they've probably discovered us as well."

"Then let's not waste time," Shepard replied, and accelerated the Mako.

They dashed through a mountainous area, which surely would have been inaccessible to them were it not for the Mako's special abilities. Its element zero core, its thrusters and its automatic self-stabilisation systems allowed it to find a way even through the most forbidding surroundings. It was not a pleasant ride, but everybody already was quite used to that – there were no such things as pleasant rides in the Mako. At least so far nobody was shooting at them.

"Picking up geth communication signals," she announced.

"We're closing in to the suspected location of the base," Garrus confirmed.

And indeed Tali could after a short time already see it on her seat's screen. Amidst the vast lichen fields stood a metallic construction. Its architecture positively oozed geth style. _It's a blight on this world and it will be eradicated. _Tali rarely harboured such hateful or theatralic thoughts, but in everything concerning the geth that was another matter.

"Entering firing range," Garrus commented, but he did not even get to finish the sentence before Shepard already had fired the first shot.

The geth reacted quickly, and a hail of bullets and rockets came towards the Mako. The Commander fired a further cannon shot, and then retreated. He made full use of the Mako's manoeuvrability. The Mako was directed into the most inaccessible parts of the mountains surrounding the base, which granted it a superb cover.

A shooting match ensued. Several geth units were destroyed, while the Mako was hardly ever hit – nothing the shields could not take care of. However, the geth improved – more and more of their units fired ever more exactly at the vehicle's position.

"Goddamn!" Shepard cursed after a particularly bad hit drew a large part of the shield's power supply.

"We should go into the offensive, sir," Williams adviced, "Take them out before they get too organized!"

"I don't..." Shepard began.

However, he was interrupted by Garrus: "Incoming enemy reinforcements!"

Above a mountain peak at the other side of the base a geth drop ship rose. It headed right for the Mako's position.

"We need to call in the _Normandy_!" Williams said.

"No!" Shepard disagreed, "We can't give away her position." He breathed out. "Everybody dismount. Should any geth come this way keep them in cover, use suppressive fire. I'll try to take care of that ship in the meanwhile. Go!"

_With a tank? _But Tali did as Shepard had ordered. Decisive orders were always better than no orders, and he had been right: If the _Normandy_ were to reveal her position, it would immediately be beset by further geth ships. She was impressed with how Shepard kept oversight in the battle and quickly reacted to new developments, but on the other hand she had almost come to expect that of him.

The geth ship dropped several units on the slope leading to the Mako's position. _Light bi-pedal units, no tank-level platforms. Thank the ancestors!_ She positioned herself behind a rock, and everybody else in the team sought and found a place with good cover, too. And then, following Shepard's order to stop or delay the geth advance, she simply fired in their general direction.

Few shots hit the geth, but that was not the point. Those units could be easily dispatched by the Mako; but the Mako's gun was busy with another target at the moment. It thundered right above her, its mas effect fields accelerating a slug right at the geth ship in the sky.

A geth bullet grazed her shields. The synthetics now went into the offensive and mostly ignored the suppressive fire. They were after all protected by their own kinetic barriers. In fact, their own fire now kept the squad in their covers.

"They mustn't reach the Mako!" Williams shouted. "Garrus, with me! Wrex, Tali, keep your positions."

With bullets and rockets flying past her, Tali had no intention of going anywhere. She just hoped Williams knew what she was doing. The geth came ever nearer, and the team's defensive power had just been cut in two.

She managed to get some breathing space by hacking a geth shock trooper and sending it against its companions, but nonetheless two further ones were advancing right into her direction.

_What more can I do now then to simply shoot and hope for the best? _

She did just that, but her shield power was dwindling and her shotgun overheating fast. She managed to down one enemy, but feared to be overran. Just as she considered using her remaining shield power to fall back to the Mako, the geth lines came into disarray. Tali dared to take a closer look, and she could see Williams and Garrus storming at the geth, from the side. Their flanking maneuver apparently had succeeded.

Tali used the enemy disorder to retreat slightly and search a new cover. This helped to alleviate her precarious situation, but the geth soon re-ordered, too. She feared the next attack wave and prepared herself from it - and then she heard the Mako's cannon again. However, it did not fire at the sky any more. Rather, it hit one of the geth charging to her position.

"The geth ship is gone," Shepard announced via the communication system, "Fall back to the Mako; it can take care of the remaining geth."

Tali was only too happy to oblige. As soon as she saw all geth in her vicinity either destroyed or distracted, she turn and ran towards the vehicle. Several shots hit her, and her shields faltered. Some more shots pierced her envirosuit. She had already expected that to happen. She just hoped the suit would seal off any breaches promptly enough.

She reached the Mako considerably later than Wrex. Shepard accelerated the vehicle even as she was still getting seated.

"Garrus and Williams are still pinned down," the Commander explained, "We're taking the offensive."

The Mako rushed down the mountain's slope, towards the geth base, either firing at or ignoring all geth units in its path. Its strong shields and armour made it safe enough to drive right into enemy light units. Tali was relieved. _This all could have gone way worse. _However, now it seemed the mission would end in a success. The Mako took down the remaining geth, and Williams and Garrus soon joined up again.. So Tali felt victorious rather than shocked. _Never a dull day with Shepard. _

When the Mako finally entered the geth base, no more resistance was encountered. They did not find any useful data or hints about the geth's intentions, but at least a start was made. One of four known bases of the geth in the cluster had been destroyed.

…...

A small red sun shone on the _Normandy_. The system it currently resided in, or rather hid in, was so insignificant as to not even have a name, only a designation: ARM-4476a. Two small rock planets and a very small number of asteroids orbited closely around a dull red dwarf. The Alliance battle fleet had gone on in its counter-incursion into the geth-held cluster. Their next target was a science facility taken over by the synthetics in the Rayingri system. Eventually, it would be a target for the _Normandy_ as well, but for now the battle fleet only tried to draw all geth ships in the cluster to that system. In the meanwhile, the _Normandy_ would lay low, and then attack another outpost, which hopefully would then be without or with lessened naval defence.

Tali hoped that attack would go better than the last one. The ground team had successfully destroyed the base on Casbin, but it had been a close call. Tali's enviro-suit had been breached at several points. Fortunately, none of those breached had been large, and they all had been sealed off correctly by the suit. Unfortunately, this apparently had not always happened in time. Ever since Casbin, she had an annoying skin irritation, which most likely was an allergic reaction to outside contamination.

Currently she was on the second deck of the ship, thecrew deck, which contained the mess, the sleeping pods, the crew's personal belongings and the captain's cabin were all there, as were the escape pods and the sick bay. People went there to sleep, to eat and to socialize in their off-duty time. Tali had gone to there to get a nutrient tube.

Absent-mindedly she went through her belongings. Most likely she would take the tube down to Engineering and chew on it while going through some diagrams. It was not really satisfying, but she had nothing better to do. Everybody else from Engineering was either on duty or in a sleeping period, she hardly knew anybody outside Engineering and the ground team, and Shepard had taken to spend his off duty time exclusively in his cabin. After Ontarom he had taken command of the ship again, but his off time consisted of going to the mess, taking some food, and then disappearing into his cabin.

Tali was a little bit disappointed with that. Not in him, personally, but in the situation. She had always enjoyed her time with the Commander. To the point that she had developed a crush on him. He seemed to have enjoyed the time spent together, too, but now he did not seem to care about it any more. The news that Akuze had not been a disaster but a crime had hit him hard. From what the Commander had said on Ontarom, Akuze had driven somebody very important to him to suicide.

Tali could understand him. It had sounded like a horrible story, like a story that could hurt a person terribly. However, she also knew that just brooding alone over it was not healthy. She really wanted to help Shepard, but she just was in no position to force the issue. _It would be quite inappropriate if I just stopped at his cabin, and I - _

She stopped her thoughts. As fate or coincidence would have it, Shepard came walking into the mess. He looked around in the room and saw her. He nodded as greeting with a faint smile on his face. However, all in all he looked gloom.

That was really more than what was acceptable. Tali did not know what possessed her, but she laid the nutrient tube she already had in her hand back and walked right towards the Commander.

"Shepard," she greeted him.

"Tali," he greeted back. He was just finished with loading food on a tablet, and turn to go again.

"What are you doing all the time in your room anyway?" Tali asked Shepard, or rather asked his back. She tried to keep the question as innocent sounding as possible.

Shepard stopped. He chuckled lightly, but that was easily missed. "Brooding, I guess," he answered.

_Good. At least he's still honest with me. _That thought shortly gave Tali pause. _Still honest with me? Odd how I've come to expect that from him... _She quickly dropped that line of thought and instead offered: "How about you brood here then, and I join you?"

Shepard turned around. "It's a bit difficult to brood when not alone," he answered and grinned lopsidedly. "Especially when you're around."

In reaction to that Tali's stomach felt a little bit as if a tiny starship made FTL jumps inside it. "I, ah..." Her voice stumbled. It was a noticeable insecurity, but then she caught herself. "That sounds like a good reason then for me to be around you," she continued, only to become very self-conscious about whether this had been too direct.

Shepard appeared uncertain about that. He looked towards his cabin, where he had wanted to go to, then back to Tali, then all around. Finally, he sighed and answered: "Okay, I guess. Why not? We haven't talked in quite a while..." He paused. "Okay, granted, that's been my fault. So I guess, yeah, why not spend our meals together again now."

"Great!" Tali answered. She tried to keep her enthusiasm down, but did not quite know whether she had managed to.

She walked to her belongings again, grabbed a nutrient paste, and got seated at the mess table, where Shepard already had begun to eat.

"Are you okay, by the way?" Shepard asked, "You seemed to have gotten hit on Casbin."

"My suit was only minimally breached," Tali answered, "so my reaction is far less worse than after Therum. It's annoying, a sort of skin irritation, but nothing I'm not used to."

"Given that reasoning, I'm not quite sure whether I should find this good or bad to hear," Shepard stated.

Tali shrugged, a gesture very similar to the human one. "It's just how it is," she replied, "Honestly I'm more annoyed how close a call the battle was."

"Yeah, that really needs to be better in the next battle," Shepard answered darkly.

"I'm sure it will," she reassured him, "It shouldn't have been so close, but we got to fight and destroy geth, so it wasn't all bad."

"Military operations are often a close thing," Shepard said, "But, I, ah, must admit I'm feeling a bit bad about sending you into the crossfire like that. After all, I take a young quarian on pilgrimage aboard, and all she sees is battle after battle. I feel like I've conscripted you or something."

"Is that the pilgrimage discussion again?" Tali asked, half serious and half mocking.

"No... well, not really," Shepard answered. "It's just - the crew are professional soldiers. Garrus has military training, at least, and Wrex is a seasoned mercenary. You, though - and Liara, too, well..."

"I'm a soldier, too," Tali claimed, "I got military training. Father made sure of that. He expected that I'd come into such situations."

"Of course, your father," Shepard replied. "You know what I'll answer to that of course, don't you? Forget about a father for a moment, do you really want to stumble from one battle into the next?"

Tali could guess just what was on Shepard's mind. "I may be young, but I'm not some fragile mind to be protected. I volunteered. And yes, I want to be part of this mission. What better way to search for a pilgrimage gift? And I get to fight the geth." _And Shepard. He's definitely a third reason. Not that I could say so._

Shepard sighed. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe it's really just my reservations about the pilgrimage tradition, that you have to search for such a gift at all. Hopefully, you'll find one during our engagements in this cluster."

"That would be ideal, of course," Tali answered, "But there's more to it. We help to foil a major geth plan. That's good all in itself, even if we don't find anything."

"You seem to cherish every chance to fight them," Shepard said.

"They drove my people into exile," she said, "Our current living conditions, everything from living in those overfilled ships, to the lack of resources and the need to wear these envirosuits, it's all due to them. So yes, I do." She spoke with confidence. That at least was something she was very certain of, her hate against the geth and her justifications for it.

"I see," Shepard answered, "Yeah, I do understand. Just firing away at those bastards you hate so much..."

Tali's voice became quieter, understanding and serious: "That's what you hope to do after this mission, too, don't you?"

"I do," Shepard replied firmly. "I know we're on a mission to hunt down Saren, and I'll do so, but my gut tells me to rather go hunt down Cerberus now."

Tali searched for words to make the conversation go on. She wanted to help Shepard, support him. Yet, saying that was difficult for her. She gathered courage and after a pause said stumbling: "You know... you know you can count... I mean, of course I'll support you in that. If necessary."

"I... I know, actually," Shepard said. He sounded a bit surprised himself at that. "You always have so far. Including now, I guess. So... thank you."

The fluttery feeling in Tali's stomach grew, but she pushed on: "I can understand your hatred. But you should keep that hate for them, and not burn yourself with it." She had picked up that association of hate and fire in her extranet searches about human culture, it was not a quarian expression. "You're not hurting Cerberus, and you're not helping yourselves by locking yourself up in your cabin."

"Ah, my chaperon again," Shepard said with a faint grin. Then his facial expression darkened, and he sighed. "You're right of course, but I... I mean, those revelations, they totally changed... not that you..." His arms moved in agitated gestures. "Well, to hell with justifications. You're right. Ah... sorry."

"No, I..." Tali began, surprised at that apology. The conversation was not easy. Now that Shepard actually was talking to her she wanted to use that, tell him she would be on his side, and tell him what she had at good advice - but all those attacks of insecurity did not help in that. "You don't need to apologize. I understand. It's just..." _I worry about you. _"It's just some advice."

"I see," Shepard said. His voice sounded oddly distant. _What's going on in his mind?_ Then it softened: "Then not sorry, but - thanks. I'll reserve my hatred for Cerberus now."

"You really do, don't you?" Tali asked. "Hate them, I mean."

"You've seen and heard what atrocities they've committed," Shepard answered. His voice became dark: "And they've killed..." He stopped and clenched his right hand into a fist.

Tali did not quite know from where she got her courage, but her own hands, three-fingered and gloved, picked up that fist. Surprisingly, it began to relax. "Tell me about her," she said, and let go of Shepard's hand again.

And so he did.

000000

_Husks. Why did it have to be husks?_

Shepard was in his cabin, where he removed his armour piece by piece. He would later take it to its correct equipment storage, but at the moment he was too exhausted for it. The _Normandy's _ground team had just raided and destroyed the geth outpost on Rayingri, a former Alliance science facility the synthetics had taken over – and had it found to be defended by the former scientists, turned into techno-zombies.

It had been a marvelous maneuver on the strategical level: The Alliance battle field had entered the Gagarin system, Rayingri's system, and drawn the geth fleets to there. This had allowed the _Normandy _to raid the enemy outpost on Maji in the Vamshi system without much in the way of naval opposition. And after the Alliance fleet had left the Gagarin System again, and when hence the geth fleets there had dispersed, too, the _Normandy _had entered it, slipped its ground team through all sensors, and had it attack the Rayingri station.

On the tactical level, though, directly at the front, the fight had been brutal. There was something deeply unsettling about husks, and the fact that they once used to be human just made it worse. Shepard would have much rather dealt with any other kind of enemies than husks. At least the battle had been a success. The geth presence in the system had been cleansed, and the infrastructure the geth had installed in the science facility had been taken over.

There had been hopes that Rayingri would be the cluster headquarters of the geth. It certainly had been the most extensive of their outposts so far, but still the hope had proven to be futile, and there was only one further outpost known in the cluster. However, from the data captured on Rayingri Tali had been able to deduce the geth's communication system. This should enable the _Normandy_ and its team to track geth communications. When they would hit the fourth and remaining base, on Antibaar in the Tereshkova system, then hopefully they would be equipped to catch and track back geth communications. Either Antibaar was the geth's headquarters, or it would lead them to the there. If everything went according to plan.

Another thing Shepard had to thank Tali for. Besides coaxing him out of his isolation inside his cabin during the last days. Looking back, his behaviour had been a bit immature. Understandable on an emotional level, maybe, but immature. _And Tali took me out of it. _She had pushed that point on, to his and as he suspected also to her own surprise.

He shook his head, stripped down and went to his cabin's shower box. Small as it was, on a warship it was an incredible luxury. The hot water running down his body washed the thoughts about the battle away for now.

While he dressed himself again, his thoughts wandered back to Tali. It was not like she had really _snapped_ him out of anything, but it had been close enough. He wondered why she even put up with that, and the countless other episodes where she had been at his side. He wondered how she had managed it at all, why he had simply followed what she had said. And he wondered why he had taken her support for granted.

Tali certainly had become special for him. Important to him. _Special..._

_Ah, Jon, really? You goddamn idiot._

The answer to all of those questions dawned on him. He sat upright on his bed and stared into nothing. He did not move for several minutes.

_But... how? She's an _alien _for god's sake! That's just..._

And yet it seemed he had developed a more than just friendly attachment to her. That seemed to be a simple matter of truth. The reason why he had always reacted so positively to her presence, the reason why she had been able to reach out to him in his self-isolation, probably even the reason he had been so enchanted by her dance in Chora's Den.

He scolded himself an idiot to have not realized it. But even more he felt to be an idiot for having those emotions at all. Human-asari relations, that was something humanity had become accustomed to already. But – _A quarian? _Or rather, a non-asari alien. Fine to build friendships with of course, even close friendships, but anything more? Not a chance.

And then, out of all people, Tali. Not just an alien, but a dextro-amino alien stuck in an environmental suit, who was only away from her people due to a rite of passage and would soon enough return to them. _Really, you're such a fool, Jon._

He had not even seen her face yet, and neither would he ever have the ability to. He had looked up images of quarians on the extranet. Their faces seemed very human-like - less broad, with less extensive jars, and some odd things at the side that might pass for ears or not - but they were still very clearly alien. Not as much as turians or salarians, but considerably more so than asari, for example.

Besides, he on his part was hardly the ideal partner, either. A battle hardened veteran, still mourning over a love five years dead. _Yeah. Perfect relationship material. _It was ironic, in a way: People had told him, and he himself had told him to move on for years now. However, Tali really was not the right 'target' for that. Even the idea was ludicrous – _She's an alien!_ He had not even seen her in such a way before. _Well, except at Chora's Den... oh, damn._

He sighed and finished dressing. It was a pipe dream if there ever was one, but on the positive side that meant he could ignore it. Eventually Tali would return to the Flotilla, and that would be that then. He valued her friendship, and he hoped they could spend enough time together until then. Any ideas of more would have to be stuffed back into the darkest corners of his mind. It was impossible anyway for practical reasons, and also a bit disturbing. _A xenophily fetish? Who would've thought..._

He had seen mags and vids about such topics, like Fornax. And he heard stories about such couples. Personally, it did not faze him much, that was their business. But he himself? He shook his head. That was clearly something to just forget about.

After he finished dressing, he grabbed the nearest report datapad to occupy his mind. He did not really care what the report was about, as long as it would focus his thoughts on another topic. This worked well enough for half an hour or so.

However, the universe seemed to have a dark sense of humour. When he finally got his mind to concentrate on the datapad, the door bell chimed, and his communicator was activated. It was Tali's voice speaking from it: "May I come in, Commander? There is something I have discovered."

_Ah. What perfect timing of her. Of all the people who might want to speak with me right now, it had to be her... _She had addressed him as 'Commander', though, not Shepard. At least it seemed to be an official matter.

Shepard opened the door, and Tali entered. Seeing her only confirmed his dawning realization about his feelings for her. He had to admit he always had been fascinated by her graceful gait, even though it was so alien. He pushed that thought away. _She's here on official business, most likely. _"Tali," he said, "what can I do for you?"

"CIC received the daily information update from the battle fleet an hour ago," Tali explained, "And for some reason, a carbon copy was sent straight to my work station."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. That was interesting, but he could not yet see what it had to do with him. Tali continued: "I noticed that the file was several times larger than it should have been, so I became curious and analyzed it. There was a second file embedded with it, an audio file. I think it was sent to my station because people figured I'd be able to discover this." She paused. "The audio file is addressed at you."

She rose her omnitool and typed on it. A voice began to fill the room: "Shepard, this is Admiral Kahoku. Admiral Hackett informed me about what you've found out on Ontarom, and I made some inquiries regarding 'Cerberus'." He paused, and then continued in a desperate tone: "Damn, I hope you get this message." He composed himself again. "Hackett's hunch was right. It was them who set the trap for my men. I had never heard of them, but apparently they used to be Alliance. An Alliance black ops organization. Top secret, highest level security clearance." His voice became more desperate again: "But they've gone completely rogue, Shepard. They're conducting all sorts of brutal experiments, trying to create some kind of super soldier. Akuze was one of those projects. I don't have any proof," He sounded insecure there, but caught himself again: "But I found the coordinates for one of their research worlds. They're also embedded in the same data file. They're completely out of control. Somebody needs to stop them. I've done my part. Now it's up to you. I will just try to disappear. Cerberus is after me now. If they find me... I can't let them find me!"

Shepard remained silent, stunned by the message. Tali did not say anything; she appeared to wait on a cue from him. Eventually, after a pause, Shepard said: "We have our enemy, we have its background, and we have its locations. Good." He sighed. "I just hope Admiral Kahoku got away. But there's no point worrying about that." He grinned, but it was a hard, harsh grin. "We'll defeat the geth, and then we'll annihilate this 'Cerberus'."

A surge of certainty and sureness passed through the Commander. After all the struggles of recent times, he finally had a clear cut enemy in front of him again.

Tali at first remained silent. She seemed to watch Shepard, and his head was slightly tilted. Shepard wondered what went through her head. After a while spoke up softly: "We still have to defeat the geth. That's not finished yet."

"Don't worry," Shepard reassured her. "I have not forgotten that. Our next target is Antibaar."

"I didn't think you'd have forgotten about it!" Tali replied hastily, and went on somewhat insecurely: "It's just... it's very important to me. To have the geth defeated, I mean. They already nearly wiped out my race, and they shouldn't get the chance to do more harm."

_The geth did. Wiped out nearly her entire race. That makes my own feud look almost petty in comparison. _However, as if to counter that thought, Tali went on: "And once we've done that, we'll deal with your enemies." She paused. "I mean... you can deal with them then. That is, you will. It's just - you know you can count on my support."

"I know, Tali," Shepard answered softly, "I know."

The quarian had sounded very nervous. And in fact it had not been the first time she had been nervous in his company. And she had been in his company a lot in recent time. Even when by all rights she should not have put up with him.

His facial expression became softer. _Ah, Tali. We're both fools, eh?_ It did not change anything. Any idea of relationship was still a pipe dream. But it was nice to know that one was not alone in being foolish.

Tali had not answered, so Shepard continued. If nothing else, he wanted to at least tell Tali that he appreciated that she had so far always been there for him. "We'll both defeat our enemies. And I know you said I don't need to apologize, but - well, I did avoid you those past days. I shouldn't have. I had my reasons, but that's no excuse. After all, you always put up with me, and then I thank you by just vanishing. So - sorry for that."

Tali held arms at her waist, and had her fingers fiddle with each other. Her feet shuffled, and she appeared to be very nervous. Shepard suppressed a smile. _Sorry, Tali. Should've known. _He had the urge to grab her hands, to help her ease her nervousness, but he suppressed that urge, too.

"I..." Tali began, "You're always concerned about bad things happening to others. Like when we talked about the pilgrimage. Or worried about what has happened to others, like with Lieutenant Alenko. Or with the colonists on Feros. You may... sometimes that's a bit overdone, but I think you also have the right to be worried about yourself. I think enough bad things have happened to you, too."

Shepard smiled softly. "Maybe. Not only bad things, though. I mean..." _ I met you. _But that would have been too cheesy, too direct, too misleading. Still, he could not just stop his sentence there. "I mean, sometimes also good things happen. Like meeting people to talk to. Forming friendships in the middle of space."

"Friendship. Yes, that's good," Tali said, maybe a little too hasty. She added with unconstrained enthusiasm: "I'm glad about that, too."

"So," Shepard went on, "I promise not to neglect our friendship any more."

This time, Tali was so visibly nervous that she did not manage to answer for some time. However, she caught herself again, looked right into Shepard's eyes and answered with sufficiently secure, yet humorous voice: "Good. I hope you remember that."

000000

The geth had chosen prudently in establishing their main base. An unassuming moon, one of many orbiting a gas giant - nobody would ever have come looking for them there. The only reason the _Normandy_ had found them at all was because Tali's tracking device had worked on Antibaar. After the squad had captured the Antibaar outpost, it had been able to track back incoming communication signals.

Thus they had come to Solcrum, a moon of Notanban, in the Grissom system. It was a moon very similar to Luna, grey, rocky and dusty, with no distinguishing features at all. The _Normandy _had picked up low-level energy transmissions from one point at the surface, and the ground team had been dropped in the Mako to check them out.

_This is it. The final battle._

Tali had absolutely no doubts at all that they would emerge victorious from this one, too. The geth incursions had practically already been beaten back.

She was interrupted in her victorious thoughts by Shepard exclaiming: "Damn!"

The Mako came to a halt. It had been in the process of climbing over a mountain peak, but was now sliding back again.

"Take a look at that," Shepard said, and pointed to the vid screen at the dashboard. It showed what the Mako's cameras had recorded at high magnification: The entrance to an underground facility, surrounded by several geth units.

"It looks like a human-built facility," Shepard continued. "Probably built by pirates or something, we have no records on anything being out here. This complicates matters. We don't know how deep underground the facility goes. Might be we'll have quite a fight on our hands."

"Good," Wrex commented.

Shepard paused. Then he grinned and said: "On the other hand, we don't need to deal with all the units on the surface. It's not like we need to keep secrecy any more." He activated his communication system. "This is Commander Shepard to _Normandy. _Do you copy?"

"We hear you, Commander," Pressly's voice answered.

"We've found the geth base," Shepard explained, "I'm uploading the location at the moment. Develop a firing solution for it and bomb the place."

_Orbital bombardment? That's uncommon. _Tali could see the use, though.

"May I point out that it may be wiser to capture the base intact, sir?" Pressly pointed out.

"Noted," Shepard answered. "It appears to be an underground facility, though. Just bomb us the way free, and we'll then capture it."

"Understood sir," Pressly confirmed. "Bombarding the marked location, aye."

"Orbital bombardment, sir?" Williams asked after the communication channel had been closed. "The Council won't like it."

"It's no garden world, so it isn't illegal," Shepard disagreed. "And I really see no point in having to fight our way through if the _Normandy_ can clear it for us."

Pressly's voice cut in once again: "Orbital Bombardment, starting in thirty seconds."

"Get ready!" Shepard said, "We'll rush in once it's over. Before they can regroup."

It was a magnificent show of destruction - one moment, the defending geth units stood and watched their surrounding, and the next they were hammered down by mass effect accelerated rocks raining from the sky. Several of those hit, shook the ground and blew up dust. At the end, only small impact crater and scrap metal remained.

"Orbital bombardment completed," Pressly announced.

Without further comment, Shepard immediately accelerated the Mako to its highest speeds, only to make a total break in front of the damaged bunker entrance. Tali was rocked and shaken, but that was something she come to expect whenever Shepard was driving the vehicle.

The Commander left the vehicle and waved the others to hurry. "Go, go, go, into the bunker, before the geth can regroup!"

Tali ran towards it, followed by the others. Shepard was the last one to enter. What they found inside was a barren room which served as entrance area. It looked like a dozen others they had seen so far - which supported the theory that humans once had built the facility.

Shepard had not fully entered it when already geth drones came flying towards the squad. They were easily shot down, but it was clear the geth now knew about their intrusion. Tali readied herself and held her shotgun high, prepared to shoot at any moment.

Geth Troopers came running out of a door one by one. Tali did not think much, but simply fired, a reflex born out of her accumulating battlefield experience. The geth shot back, and the ensuing battle tested the squad's shield, but the synthetics still appeared unorganized - they came towards them uncoordinated, with no proper strategy. The squad could fight its way forewards to the door their enemies had come from.

Shepard ran across the door frame, fired into the room behind it - and was himself hit hard by several shots, which nearly depleted his shield's power. "Shit!" he cursed, "there's too many of them in there."

The squad positioned itself on both sides of the door frame. Tali managed to fire into the room several times, but like most of the team was mostly kept at bay by enemy fire. It was possible to expose oneself to enemy fire for a while; shields made that possible. This allowed the squad to open fire on the enemy. Unfortunately, that also counted for said enemy.

After a while, Williams commented: "It's getting less. We must have destroyed some of them. Keep it going, people!"

Tali had the same feeling, but still there was no way the squad could advance. Too many bullets were still flying in both directions through the door. From what she had seen, there was at least one Geth Juggernaut on the other side, some Geth Snipers, plus several Geth Hoppers and Drones. They all moved between several crates standing in the room, further reinforcing the theory that this once might have been a human pirate hide-out.

"Wrex, can you distract them for a while by drawing fire onto you?" Shepard asked.

"Always the best jobs for me," Wrex commented dryly. "Becoming a live fire training target has always been my lifelong dream. But yes, I can do it."

"Then please do so," Shepard requested.

Wrex stepped into the room, and immediately, all enemy fire was directed towards him. Given his shields, his armour and his krogan physiology, Tali had no doubt he could endure that for some time. _It's a rather ruthless order by Shepard, though. But I'm sure he knows what he's doing. _And sometimes, ruthless orders were just necessary.

The Commander used the distraction to enter the room himself. He ran towards one of the crates, but did not stop there. Some geth redirected fire towards him now. Several concentrated bursts broke the crate, but by then Shepard had already ran on. Right towards the Geth Juggernaut. The platform had removed itself somewhat from the other ones, and used several smaller crates as cover while keeping on suppressive fire at the door.

As best as Tali could see, now Shepard was reversing matters. He ran from crate to crate around it, and kept firing his shotgun at it. His shields were hit several times by other units, but a combination of good cover and a biotic barrier created by him kept damage to a minimum.

Tali was amazed at Shepard's bravery. She would also have been annoyed at the foolishness of this action, even though he was the commanding officer. Storming alone into enemy territory was usually a very foolish thing to do. However it seemed to work. Shepard appeared to have recognized a good position to remain in cover while taking out the prime enemy. And Tali could not well argue with success, not even in her thoughts. She was a bit worried about Shepard, but she fought that sentiment down. She had to remain professional.

Shepard's intrusion brought the geth fire into an uncoordinated disarray in any case. "The Commander has them distracted, go in and find cover!" Williams ordered. Rank authority below Shepard was a bit confused in a team mixed from his Spectre entourage and the regular marine detachment of the _Normandy_, but nobody was arguing with the Gunnery Chief. Instead, everybody rushed into the room.

Finding a good cover was more problematic. Most crates had been destroyed in the intense firefight so far. Most remaining cover, like still standing crate sides and the like, were only good for a temporary stay. Tali ran towards such a crate remnant, and then immediately ran on, towards a Geth Hopper. It jumped away after being hit, but Tali's reflexes were good enough to keep on: She jerked her shotgun upwards, following the Hopper's movement, and shot it down from the ceiling. Unfortunately, that had nearly overheated Tali's gun.

The squad's assault had completely broken up the geth organization, and uncoordinated as they now were, they were well beatable. More and more scrap metal littered the floor, and less and less shots came darting towards Tali.

"I think we got them all," Tali could hear Garrus after a while. She was behind one of the rew remaining crates at that point. When she came out of her cover and looked around, and indeed she could not see a single geth platform still standing.

The squad came moving towards the middle of the room. "Good work, team," Shepard said. His armour was breached near his left shoulder, but it did not seem to affect the Commander. _He already has applied Medi-gel, _Tali assumed. To her great relief, he seemed to be unharmed otherwise.

"Was that really their main base?" Williams asked. "Still seems a bit underwhelming."

"The geth have no great need for much infrastructure," Tali explained. "That's why most their bases were outdoors. Their platforms already are most the infrastructure they need. Mostly, they need well defensible places where they can stay together to strengthen the neural network."

"They seem to have some terminals here, though," Shepard commented. "So we'll see if that was their main base." He grinned slightly. "Tali, Garrus, you know what you have to do."

Tali did not need to be told twice. She was just as interested in what the terminals held as the Commander. Probably even very much more so.

And they proved to be veritable treasure troves. Most of the data was heavily encypted, but from what Tali could deduce it seemed to be a nearly encyclopedic collection of information about the geth themselves. Modern data about the geth, about how they had evolved since the time of the Geth War.

_On the evolution of the geth._

Tali paused. Realization dawned on her. _My pilgrimage is over. _She had found what she had been looking for. That realization had a bittersweet component, because if her pilgrimage was indeed over, then she would leave the _Normandy. _However, then she realized something else: _But not before Saren is caught. _She would stay on the _Normandy, _and then afterwards have something to let her pilgrimage end in a great success.

With renewed vigor she began working on the terminals again.

She downloaded files from several terminals, until she came to one that was different. _It's still operating! _she realized. It was sending data. As her tracking device told her, data that went directly to the Perseus Veil.

The transmission was repeated over and over again. It seemed to be a small file, and it was not encrypted. She opened it - and nearly fell back from shock.

It was music. Quarian music. A song of lament, sung by a quarian without enviro-suit. Tali recognized her, she was a historical singer widely popular in the time before the Geth War.

_What's the meaning of this? _The geth were transmitting quarian music, quarian culture? Moreover a song that even had become associated with the loss and tragedy occurred during the war against them? Tali felt sick to the core. _This has to be a psychological warfare trick. Something to destabilize any quarians coming across this... _Only that the geth did not do psychological warfare. And they would not know that a quarian would find this. They had invaded human space, after all.

_So it was not enough that they all but destroyed our civilization? Now they also have to mock what records are left of it? _Rage boiled inside Tali, rage and sadness. The sung hit home, brought to mind just how much her people had lost. Due to the geth. And now the geth were desecrating what was left.

"Goddamn machines," Tali raged, "How... how dare they?"

She had been so focused first on her work and then on her shock and rage that she did not even realize somebody had approached her. She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Hey," Shepard's voice reached her, soft and understanding.

However, she still was too angry. She whirled arround, to only then fully realize that it was Shepard. Her shoulders slumped down slightly. "Oh," she made, "it's you. I, ah..." Between her ongoing shock about her discovery, and her reaction to Shepard's approach, for which she cursed herself, she could not find any more words.

"You seemed a bit disturbed," Shepard commented. "Is something the matter?" He sounded genuinely worried.

Tali told him. About what she had found, what it meant, how the geth were mocking quarian culture. How they dared to do so, 300 years after they had destroyed most of it. How after such an atrocity they could even dare to still use it. And then even a piece that was about loss and tragedy. She talked herself into a renewed rage.

"Hey," Shepard said again in a soothing voice, "Let them mock. It's all they can still do. I understand you, but see it like that: It's pathetic. We have defeated them here. We have foiled their plans. They are beaten back. We have hurt them - so how can any mockery of theirs still hurt us, still hurt you? Don't let it. We've won."

_He's right, _Tali realized. She had not seen it that way, but it was true. It was still an affront that the geth dared to use old quarian music, part of a culture they had destroyed, but it was nothing that really could still hurt her. Not if she did not let it. She had won against them here. She was the victor, not them.

"You're right," she said. "I just... I was so shocked..."

"I understand," he interrupted her softly. Again he laid a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to explain. Just keep in mind that you've won against them."

"I think rather _we _have won." Tali replied. She tried to say it in her usual humorous voice, but it did not come out quite like that, rather unsure and shaky at times.

Shepard removed his hand from her shoulder and shrugged. "I'll let you have this victory," he joked, "I'll claim the next one instead. That one will be far more important to me anyway."

Tali realized what he meant. "So Cerberus is the next target?"

"It is," Shepard confirmed, "I just got a call from Admiral Hackett. Apparently he knows we need to go to the Voyager Cluster. The Cerberus base Admiral Kahoku found out about is there. Maybe Hackett got his message as well. In any case, he provided me with an excuse to go there. Something about an old Alliance probe to be recovered. Thus we won't go back to the Citadel just yet, but make directly for the Voyager Cluster,"

"Good," Tali commented decisively. Shepard had always treated her well. He always had been a person to turn to, and a person who despite his own problems would support her. He would most likely never return the feelings she had for him, but he did seem to value her as a friend. As a close friend even. That was already way more than she had dared to hope for. Thus, it was good if he could get his revenge now.

Shepard smiled. "Well, good to hear confirmation on that," he said.

"You've helped me to hit the geth here," Tali explained, "It was a repulsion of an Alliance space invasion, but it still meant a lot to me. And you even helped me convince how this was a victory. Now, I will help you to get victory." For once, she said so surely and certainly. No more "you can count on my support" or "if you need me". She would help him, end of story.

Shepard nodded. "I know," he said softly.


	16. Ch16: Cerberus

Footsteps splashed through water.

"This place is a dump," Williams commented with distaste.

Tali could only agree. They were in an old mine on the planet Agebinium, and to say that it was abandoned and derelict would be an understatement. It was hardly more than a ruin. The facility must once have been extensive, with several corridors, forks and halls, but most were now blocked by rubble, and all rooms were filled by knee-deep or ankle-deep water and even more rubble floating in it.

The architecture of the mine looked markedly different from similar ones in the region. Tali assumed that not humans, but salarians or turians must have built it. Judging by the bad state of the facility and the fact that the mine was not marked on any maps it might well have been decades ago at the least.

"Perfect territory for a trap," Wrex commented.

"Are you sure the probe is in here, sir?" Alenko inquired.

"The signals could be traced to here," Shepard answered.

The squad was in search of an old espionage probe of the Alliance. It had been launched during the First Contact War to scout turian space, one of many. They all had been rigged with nuclear payloads to act as booby-traps, to prevent technology falling into enemy hands. With the advantage of twenty years hindsight it was obvious now that had been quite an overreaction. The Alliance had spent years secretly picking up all probes again, but it had never found all. One had now appeared in the Voyager Cluster, on the other side of the Alliance from turian space, and had reported 'mission complete'. If others were to find that signal, it could be a major embarrassment of the Alliance, so the Alliance Navy had a vested interest in sending one of their own ships to there as quickly and secretly as possible - a perfect job for the _Normandy_.

At least, that was how Shepard could explain his presence in the Voyager Cluster to Navy Command. It was a cover Admiral Hackett had provided him with. His true reason to go into the Cluster was to attack Binthu - a planet in the same cluster hosting several Cerberus bases, as Admiral Kahoku had found out. However, since Cerberus seemed to have quite a few agents in the Alliance, the three conspirators had to act secretly. Hence the need for a justification to be in the Voyager Cluster - otherwise Cerberus agents inside Navy Command might warn their organization if they learned about the _Normandy's _location

Still, excuse or not, the squad would do the mission. They had traced the signals of the probe to the Agebinium and specifically to this mine. A place where it could never have moved to on its own. Wrex already had voiced his suspicions about an ambush before they had entered it. Tali just hoped he had not jinxed the whole affair.

"Unfortunately, we can't trace the signals further," she explained. "The metal deposits in the ground confuse all our sensors."

"So, as you predicted then," Shepard commented.

"They have also interrupted our communication channel to the _Normandy,_" Tali went on.

"This keeps getting better and better," Williams complained. "It will be a real twist ending if this is somehow _not_ a trap."

Kaidan, Williams, Wrex, Tali - that was Shepard's team on the mission. Kaidan and Williams as Alliance soldiers, Wrex as dependable mercenary who knew to shut his mouth when his employed told him to, and Tali because her technological expertise would most likely be needed in disabling the probe and disarming its payload. And she would also remain silent if Shepard told her so.

"I know, I know," Shepard tried to placate her, "But we can't just cancel the mission due to mere suspicions. That nuke must be disabled. Just stay on guard."

"Aye-aye, sir" Williams replied.

They went through yet another water-filled room and made their way through floating rubble. Since Agebinium was a world with no life and hardly any atmosphere to speak of, the water must once have belonged to the mine's life support system. Seeing it now filling up the rooms and turning them into messy pools nearly offended Tali's sense of efficiency. Losing water from life support like that was simply a waste. She knew such an attitude was unreasonable, seeing for just how long nobody had been here most likely, but her quarian sense of efficiency was deeply ingrained.

Another, more important yet also more distant issue on her mind was the geth data she had obtained on Solcrum. As she had been the one to download it, it still was on her omni-tool. However, she merely had acted as one of Shepard's agents. Rightfully, the data was his. She realized that even to other species the data might have quite some value, so she could understand if he wanted to have it exclusively for the Alliance or for the Council, depending on whether he had acted as Systems Alliance Commander or as Council Spectre. And it would be his right to claim the data as his own.

Yet, Tali needed the data. It was the perfect pilgrimage gift to end her quest. She would have to talk with him about that. _Not now, though. First, we do this distraction, and then we defeat Cerberus. That's surely what his mind is occupied with anyway. _It was a bit grating to have to wait what surely would turn out to be several days; she really wanted that data. But she would wait.

Her omni-tool beeped.

"Ah," she said after she had looked it up "I'm getting signals again. The probe must be in immediate proximity." She continued somewhat sheepishly: "Probably already behind the next door."

"Then let's go," Shepard ordered with a slight grin on his face.

However, the squad had hardly passed through the door, when the walls began to shake and a loud thundering could be heard. Tali fought down her shock. _This was no natural event._

"What the hell?" Williams shouted.

"That was a detonator," Wrex stated.

"A seismic charge," Tali precised, "Somebody did this on purpose."

"The door is still free, though," Alenko commented, "We'll have to see which corridors and doors might be affected,"

"Right," Shepard said, "then let's see what just happened. Williams, Wrex..."

However, he did not get to issue his orders. A hologram manifested right in front of him. And looking at it, Shepard could see the Alliance Probe right behind it, in a dark corner of the room.

The hologram, which showed a turian without facial markings, began to speak: "Shepard. At last."

"Who are you?" Shepard demanded to know. "Did you cause the cave-in? What the hell do you want?"

"My name is Elanos Haliat," the turian introduced himself, "I doubt you know it. And what I want is revenge." He paused. "Who do you think runs the Terminus Clans, Shepard? Hm? Thousands of pirates, slavers, criminals of every stripe?"

_A pirate leader. That explains the cheap performance as an opera villain. _However, Tali remained silent. This was obviously Shepard's show. She had no doubt that if Haliat had been present as more than a mere hologram, the Commander would already have started firing.

"Oh cut the theatrics," Shepard replied with a scoff, "I don't care. What has that to do with this here?"

"Everything," Elanos replied, "Because you see, it's always the strongest who leads. The one who kills the most men. Seizes the most ships. Pillages the most colonies. Seven years ago I was the strongest. I used my influence to assemble a fleet. We would drive your kind out of the Verge."

"Elysium!" Shepard exclaimed. "You were behind it! You attacked it! Hundreds of people died there because of you!"

"I was the motivator," Elanos went on, "The instigator. The one who promised glory and riches for sacking the largest human colony in the region."

Shepard's demeanour changed. Whereas before he had been furious, he was now relaxed. A cocky smile appeared on his face. "Well, that backfired, didn't it? We destroyed dozens of your ships and drove you back into the Terminus. Hell, I should probably even thank you for my Star of Terra. _I _defeated you, Haliat!"

"Your damnable holding action!" Elanos raged. "It all failed because of you, and I was blamed!"

"It all failed because you attacked a human colony. Well, excuse us for defending ourselves from pirate scum," Shepard mocked, "It's well known your type can only fight freshly hatched salarians, if at all. We should've been more considerate."

It was moments like that that Tali became quite aware just why she had developed certain feelings for the Commander.

"Waste your last breath on mockery, if it pleases you" Elanos sneered.

"I've defeated you once already," Shepard replied, "This will be no different at all."

Elanos chuckled at that. "I rather doubt that. Goodbye, Shepard." And with that, the hologram vanished - and several lights on the probe began to blink. The nuclear payload had been activated.

"What do we do now, Commander?" Alenko asked quietly. He was collected, but his subdued voice betrayed that beneath the exterior he was quite nervous. At the very least. Tali felt the same. It was difficult not to feel at least a little frightened when a nuke was ticking only metres away.

"First things first," Shepard replied immediately and with a clear voice. "We must disarm the nuclear payload. This has highest priority. Lieutenant, Tali..."

He did not even need to finish. Both already had begun working. The nuclear payload was accessible at the probe's hardpoints. Tali realized that the electronics must have once been cutting edge military technology. But now they were twenty years old and obsolete, and Haliat had failed to install new ones. For all the threat the nuke posed, it was actually rather easy to disable. The only problem was time. She worked fervently, and forgot everything around her. She was fully focused on overriding the electronics.

She distantly heard Shepard say something, but could not even tell what. The first hardpoint was disabled. Swiftly she moved to the next. Her peripheral vision saw Alenko raising from the hardpoint he had worked on some time after, but again she hardly registered that. She only dared to let the outside world enter her brain again after she had disabled the final hardpoint. She breathed out.

When she stood up, Shepard commented: "Good job, Tali, Lieutenant Alenko. That seems to have been quite a poor trap." He grinned. "Oh well, what should I have expected from somebody like Haliat?"

"You didn't even really know him until minutes ago," Tali pointed out humorously. As the threat was over, she was back in good spirits.

"I know his kind," Shepard answered. "Pirates that is, not turians. If any of them had more than two functioning brain cells they wouldn't need to take that 'career path'."

"Well, the first priority is cleared now, sir," Williams pointed out. "What now?"

"Now we go and kick somebody's ass," Wrex replied instead of Shepard.

The Commander laughed. "Essentially, yes. We know the seismic charge hasn't even hit the door here, so it doesn't seem to have affected the entire mine. And we know the mine is large. We certainly haven't explored all corridors. So chances are actually quite good we'll find a way out."

And so the squad set out to explore all caverns and corridors of the mine. It was a lengthy business. Rocks and stones now blocked most ways, but the squad made it through them as best as they could, exploring all routes still open. Most of them led to dead ends.

They climbed over rocks and waded through waters. They passed corridor after corridor, had to push open several doors by muscle power and wandered around in the mine for hours. They were totally exhausted.

"There are certainly nicer places for physical training," Williams complained when the group was again climbing over a heap of rocks and rubble

"See it from the positive side, Chief," Alenko suggested, "Whenever will you get again the chance to train your stamina in a half-ruined, alien, unchartered mine on some god forgotten world in a largely unsettled cluster? It's a once in a life time chance!"

"You make it sound so appealing, LT," Williams snarked back. .

"What about the _Normandy_?" Tali asked. "We are hours overdue. Certainly Pressly will suspect something."

"Yeah, and that worries me," Shepard replied in a grave voice. "Haliat surely hasn't just left. He'll wait for the inevitable search group to come for us. I just hope Pressly will wait a bit before sending such a group. No point worrying about that now, though."

"Speaking of that turian, won't he have noticed by now that the charges haven't exploded?" Williams asked.

"Yes," Wrex answered, "But he can do nothing about it. So he'll wait for us to starve, and for the _Normandy_ to send a search team."

"I think that fits exactly," Shepard commented. "We need to find a way out here to prevent both."

"Smart analysis," Wrex said, "The mark of a great strategist."

Shepard laughed. "That's why I'm the leader!"

"You two should make up a comedy act," Williams suggested dryly and continued in the same tone: "That is, you two should make up a comedy act, _sir_."

"It takes a very special mind to appreciate my humour, Williams," Wrex countered.

The Gunnery Chief just scoffed and shook her head. Tali knew that while Williams was an exemplary solider in most fields and an outstanding fighter, she always had walked a fine line between humour and insubordinate behaviour. In recent time she seemed to have gotten bolder in that regard. However, Shepard did not seem to mind. He could be easily agitated as Tali knew, but apparently not by humour.

_It's most likely just normal crew building. The crew members act increasingly more at ease with each other in general. _That certainly was true of Shepard and Alenko, too, since the two had cleared matters between them.

"Is it me, or have we been going upwards for quite a while?" the Lieutenant asked.

"We have," Wrex just stated.

"It's true," Tali confirmed after a look on her instruments. In fact, they had gone quite a way upwards recently. Apparently, amidst the climbing and clearing ways that had not always been obvious.

"That's good, isn't it?" Alenko suggested, "Maybe this way leads to an exit."

"Or to just another dead end," Williams replied, "Damn, I wish I had your optimism, LT!"

"No offence, Chief," Shepard intervened laughing, "but I don't think that would really fit to you."

Tali only half listened. She came to an abrupt halt and looked at something at the wall.

"Probably not, sir," Williams conceded. "So since it seems to be expected of me, I predict this path will go nowhere, and we'll all die a horrible, slow death here."

"Sorry, Chief Williams," Tali said, "but it seems this time you're wrong."

That got the quarian the attention of the whole team. "You found something?" Shepard asked.

"Electronics," Tali replied. "There seems to be a panel in this wall, but it's behind so much dust and rubble..." While she was speaking, Tali already began removing those obstacles. Soon, others joined her.

What they found was not just an electronic panel. But an entire electronically sealed door.

"Is that really..." Shepard began, but Tali already tested it: She pushed a button on the electronic panel, and the door opened. Behind it, the squad looked onto the dimly red illuminated rocks of Agebinium and its black star-filled sky.

"I've never been more happy in my life to have been wrong," Williams commented dryly.

Stepping out of the mine, Tali had a wide view over the surrounding landscape. The exit apparently was on top of the mountain ridge in which the mine was located. While Shepard established contact with the _Normandy_, she looked around. Haliat was still somewhere here, she just knew it. The rest of the squad did the same. Everybody wished to see him defeated.

Wrex grunted. Both Shepard and the other soldiers turned their attention towards him. He stood at the edge of a cliff and looked downward. "There he is," the krogan said.

Shepard walked slowly to Wrex' position, careful not to be seen by any potential enemies. "Haliat?" he asked.

"It's not the Asari Consort" Wrex countered.

Tali walked to the edge of the cliff, too, in a covered position. At first she could only see some vague shapes, but she had her ocular implants and helmet visor magnify the image, and indeed: A camp of considerable size had been built up on one side of the mountain range, opposite from the entrance the squad had used. Several armed people of different races walked between the tents, containers and machines.

"Haliat must have orchestrated everything from there," Alenko suggested.

"Shit," Williams cursed, "I'd assume roughly company strength. No way we can take them on."

"That's what we have the _Normandy_ for," Shepard said calmly. Everybody looked at him with surprise. "Why not? It's no garden world, so orbital bombardments are legal, and hell, Chief, didn't you complain at Therum about the ship usually being so useless in ground combat? Well now we can rectify that."

"I guess, sir," Williams replied. "Not exactly subtle, but then subtlety never was my style, either."

"Not exactly satisfying, either," Wrex said, "Haliat should know who killed him. Now, he won't even know what hit him. But it will do."

Shepard already was not listening any more, and instead again commed the _Normandy_.

Ten minutes later the spectacle began. As Argebinium had no atmosphere to speak of, there was no fire raining from above; the bombardment matter did not experience aerodynamic heating. Instead, it was a dense bombardment by mass effect accelerated rocks. It caused huge craters to be left behind and much dust to be hurled high.

"No way anybody survived that," Alenko commented.

Before Shepard could reply, he was commed by Pressly telling him the bombardment was over. The Commander turned to the Lieutenant and answered: "I agree. And personally I have no wish to go down that slope and up again just to confirm it. Let's just grab the Mako and get back to the _Normandy._"

"Haliat went through very much trouble and work to simply die like this," Williams remarked with a vicious smile behind her helmet's visor, just as the squad turned to go towards the Mako.

"It's as Shepard said," Tali said, "He promised to defeat him again, and so he did."

Shepard did not comment on that, and neither did at first Williams. She walked silently for a moment and then asked carefully: "Is that what will happen to that 'Cerberus' now, too?"

Only Shepard's 'Spectre entourage' knew what had happened at Ontarom and what the Commander had learned. However, the rest of the crew knew about Cerberus' other crimes, at Chasca and Edolus, they knew the mission on Ontarom had to do with them, too, and they knew they would go up against them in the near future. Given the third item, it was no surprise crew members would ask about this. Still, Tali could not help but to be a little bit concerned about how Shepard would take the question.

However, the Commander reacted calmly. "Yes. They'll be defeated, too. And they're our next target. In fact, they're the real reason we've entered this cluster."

"Good," Williams replied, "They killed an entire marine unit on Edolus. Now marines will strike back. I for one want blood. Uh... sir."

Shepard laughed sharply. "It's all right, so do I. And come on now, Chief, after all the battles we've been in together I won't go all military discipline on you if you forget the right address once or twice."

"Noted, _sir,_" Williams replied in a jokingly exaggerated manner.

"The rumours we hear are a bit troubling, though," Alenko said, "About how much influence Cerberus might have on the Alliance."

"That's why it takes us to do something about it," Shepard replied. "We can't trust any official channels in this."

"You couldn't rely on official channels regarding ExoGeni, either," Tali pointed out, "And yet that didn't stop you." Trying to support Shepard came almost naturally to her.

"True," Shepard answered, "And I guess it's even easier now. We don't need to bother with media campaigns or court cases, but can rely on good, old military actions."

"As good as you were in the media campaign, I think that direct approach suits you better," Tali suggested humorously.

"I think I should be a bit insulted that apparently you don't think I can do subtlety," Shepard replied in the same spirit, "but after having ordered an orbital bombardment I find myself unable to muster a counter-argument. Sometimes a bit of 'direct action' can be quite refreshing."

"I already mentioned all those questionable influences on me during my pilgrimage, didn't I?" Tali joked.

As Shepard answered to that, Tali saw Ashley raising an eyebrow. The transparent visors of the human space suits made it quite possible to view their expressions. However, the quarian was not quite sure just what the Gunnery Chief expressed with that.

The conversation continued with some interruptions until the squad had reached the Mako. By that time, it had been pretty much narrowed down to only Shepard and Tali. She was very tempted to bring up the issue of the geth data, but she suppressed that urge.

Instead, she joked: "I'm a bit surprised they let you jump the Mako back to the ship."

"Only into the cargo bay," Shepard replied, "so it's not like I could hurt essential systems."

"I've no doubt you could still damage the drive core. Somehow," Tali answered mock-dismissively.

The 'jump' back into the _Normandy_ was a routine maneuver - the ship flew overby very lowly, with opened cargo hatches, and the Mako used its thrusters to jump on board. In fact, this time Shepard seemed to take extra care that everything go as smoothly as possible, so that nobody would have any grounds to complain.

By the time the squad had left the Mako, the conversation between Tali and Shepard had shifted back to Cerberus. "I just don't know what we'll do after Binthu," the Commander explained, as he and the quarian entered the elevator upward "I mean, we don't have the time to hunt Cerberus down, and we can't exactly trust the Alliance to do so, either. I just hope we'll find _something _we can use in that regard."

"If nothing else, we'll find intelligence data," Tali said, "Information is also a resource, and a highly important one, too. And it's not like there is any point in worrying now. We'll hit Binthu, and then see what we've got."

"A pragmatical attitude," Shepard commented. As he stepped out of the elevator he grinned. "Wait, let me say it this time: 'it comes with being a quarian'."

"I haven't said that in weeks any more," Tali replied mock-coldly, "but I congratulate you on your good memory."

She followed Shepard up the stairs to the Second Deck, where the sleeping pods, the mess and his cabin were located. The mission had earned her a rest period now, but as she had nothing better to do, she kept talking with Shepard - until she realized they both were standing in front of the door to his cabin.

Both hesitated. "So, uh, I guess I can meet you at the mess then?" Shepard asked.

"Sure," Tali said. "I didn't really notice where we were going."

"Heh, I'll chalk that up to my suave and elegant talking skills," Shepard joked.

Tali harumphed and answered: "So I... that is I should go now, I think..."

"Oh, what the hell," Shepard muttered and asked: "How about instead, well - do you want to come in?"

"I don't think I should..." Tali answered stumbling, "it might be... that is, shouldn't you rest now? And surely you want to remove your armour, and maybe also clean yourself, and I..."

"Yeah, well," Shepard answered, "if you stay near the door, then, ah, modesty should be saved. The cabin is surprisingly big for a room on a military ship, especially on a frigate. And it would be a bit awkward talking with you if you're on the other side of the door."

Tali was surprised. She knew how important privacy was to Shepard, that had come up when he had tried to explain his distaste for asari mindmelds. Quarians these days could not afford to be as picky about that issue, but then Shepard was no quarian, and had a right to his privacy.

"I don't..." Tali began. She stopped shortly, and then found refuge in her usual humour to gain some self-certainty: "We could just continue talking later, I hope you realize that."

"Yeah, true," Shepard admitted and shrugged. "Well then, see you in the mess, or what do you say?"

_He's rather casual about it. He doesn't seem to see it as an intrusion of privacy. _That surprised Tali somewhat. Then she realized: _He doesn't see as intrusion. He'd trust me not to violate his privacy._

"Sure," Tali answered, " I mean, if it really is no trouble to you I could come in with you, but..."

Shepard simply unlocked the door and held it open for her. She entered.

…

There had been curiously little information about Binthu. Most publicly accessible data had been pretty generic, and suggested a very hostile planet. More hostile than it actually turned out to be, despite its sulphur atmosphere periodical acid rains. It looked like somebody had tempered with the data. Somebody like Cerberus.

She sat in the Mako next to Shepard. The Commander had taken his Spectre entourage with him. Not that he did not trust Williams or Alenko. Both had it made quite clear they would support him against Cerberus. However, he wanted to make it very clear he was here as a Spectre, not as a Alliance Navy Commander. Spectres after all had more opinions available to them.

Shepard's face was as if cast in stone, but not emotionless. A hard grin gave him the look of a predator. It was a scary sight - or would have been. Naive as it maybe was, Tali could not really associate any threat to her with him. Rather, that confident grin made her certain of a victory to come.

The Mako had approached one of the known Cerberus bases on the planet. Their campaign against that organization would begin here. Fortunately, due to Admiral Kahoku's data they knew the exact location of all Cerberus bases on the planets. Unfortunately, they were all subterranean, so orbital bombardments were not an option. Instead, the ground team would take them out.

The Mako's gun had already destroyed the exterior defences of the facility, and the vehicle was now driving towards its entrance. _It's about to begin. _

The squad entered the facility. They climbed down the bunker ladder into a spacious, empty entrance area, which allowed them to form up a proper battle order before entering the inner rooms, which were separated from the entrance area by a small corridor. The squad brought itself in position and waited for Shepard to open the final roor. Since they had no idea what to expect them on the other side Shepard had decided it would be unwise to let the enemy get the first shot. Instead, the team was to storm into whatever was on the other side.

The door was unsecured. Shepard pushed its button, and it opened.

The first thing Tali was noticed was a large, blue shimmering cage of strong kinetic barriers which filled the entire centre of the room. Something moved inside it, but she could not get a clear look. She ran inside the room and kneeled besides a control terminal for cover. Then she saw soldiers running towards the squad. All of them wore non-descript, blackish-brownish clothes and armours. Most of them were very well armed and armoured. Tali analyzed the situation and considered it difficult. _This will be tough. But manageable. _

Garrus, Liara and Shepard began firing on the enemies. Tali in the meanwhile tried to saturate their shield generators with false signals, in the hope of overloading them. She cursed loudlessly as she typed on her omni-tool and let out a sound of relief when it told her that several enemy shields had been weakened.

She grabbed her shotgun and joined the firefight. She hit a Cerberus trooper that came running towards Liara with an Assault rifle. The trooper jumped behind a crate to take cover, and now concentrated on the quarian. At the same moment, Garrus got jerked to the room's ceiling. The turian was surrounded by blue dark energy. _Ancestors help, they have biotics. _

She realized Wrex was missing. _Where is he? We need him!_ An extra loud shot echoed through the room, and she saw how Shepard had thrown himself to the floor. _Keelah, that was close. They have snipers, too! _The Commander got back into cover.

Liara solved the problem: The enemy sniper soon adorned the ceiling, right next to Garrus. Soon afterward, Shepard lifted an enemy into the air, too. A third soon followed. _Wrex! _She looked around and saw him just standing there. He stared intensely at whatever was inside the kinetic barriers at the centre of the room. _What has happened to him?_

The concentrated biotic push seemed to have brought the Cerberus troops into a disarray. Shepard took shots at the disabled enemies. Tali saw him grinning widely while doing so. _He's enjoying this. He's really enjoying it. _She could not fault for him for it, though. It was the same for her when she fought geth.

Keeping the vicious grin, Shepard stormed forwards as soon as Garrus had fallen to the ground again. A blue halo of dark energy surrounded him. The turian was slightly dazzled but nonetheless followed the push of the Commander. Tali, too, got out of her cover and joined in the charge.

The Cerberus troops apparently had not counted on such an attack. Incoming enemy fire was uncoordinated. Tali was hit, and her shields were taxed, but they held. The charging trio sowed chaos and destruction in the remaining Cerberus troops.

Tali heard Shepard growl a wild battle cry. He threw himself at his enemies with abandon and gusto. He did not care about being hit himself, he just cared about dealing out as much destruction and death as possible, unleashing bullets and biotic warps at his enemies. To Tali, he appeared like a force of nature. _A natural force of revenge._

She saw remaining enemy soldiers disperse when he approached, his frenzy quite apparent and frightful. Eventually, though, the Commander paid the price for that: His shields faltered, and he was hit several times in his shoulder and upper arm. He growled again, this time with frustration, and ran around the corner of the kinetic barriers cage to get cover. Tali followed him, and could for the first time get a glance of what was inside. It was a huge creature of monstrous looks. _It's a horrifying thought, but surely Wrex has seen worse in his centuries of mercenary work. Why is he so mesmerized by that sight?_

She heard untranslated turian curses in the comm system. "Shields down!" Garrus exclaimed. She turned around and saw Garrus on the retreat from two enemies. She tried to help him, but had to dive to the ground when she noticed a red laser target point on her. A shot rang right above her. When she looked up again, one of Garrus` enemies had been pushed away, and the other one was just breaking down. She looked at the source of the bullets he was riddled with and saw Liara and Wrex charging forwards.

_Took him long enough._

Tali and Garrus joined in with the krogan and the asari. Together they managed to mop up the remaining enemies and to close up to Shepard. He was sitting on the ground, leaning at the wall and panting heavily. Tali came running towards him. She was worried for him, and that made her oblivious to how obvious her sentiment was.

"Are you hurt?" she asked and then scolded herself mentally for asking such a stupid, obvious questions.

"It's... all right," he said and managed a grin. It still was a predatory grin. He awkwardly came to his feet again. "Medi-gel. Applied. It's working." He paused and breathed heavily. "Besides - now I know Cerberus... defeated. Have... seen what's inside... field?"

"Rachni," Wrex growled. The krogan could be frightening to others on even his nicest days, and his voice was always low and harsh, but now it vibrated with hate. He paced up and down in the room. Tali had never seen him that agitated.

"Rachni?" Liara exclaimed. "Oh, goddess!"

That pretty much mirrored Tali's own thoughts. _Oh, keelah. _The quarians back then had been a proper member of the galactic community, but as they had back then always been rather isolated behind the Persues Veil they had hardly been affected by the Rachni War. Still, the significance of that find was not lost on her. The Rachni were a defeated foe of the past, practically mythical creatures of darkness in the mind of most. Creatures entirely eliminated - or so everybody thought.

"The Council must know!" Garrus said.

"Exactly," the Commander replied, still grinning. His breathing calmed down. "Have no idea where... where Cerberus got them, but..."

"Rachni!" Wrex shouted again, interrupting the Commander. "We had them all! We had them all defeated and killed! Our greatest triumph! Millions of my ancestors died in the war against them. And now here there are living rachni!"

"Oh yes," Shepard said. He seemed to be the only one not fazed about Wrex' anger. Instead he approached the krogan and talked directly to him. "But if you're that agitated, imagine... imagine how the Council will see it. They'll freak. The rachni war was the greatest threat ever to the existence of Citadel and Council. It lasted for centuries. Centuries! For centuries the asari and salarians were in the defence against their onslaught. They're an almost mythical threat from thousands of years in the past. And now, they're back."

"Centuries of mercenary work, and I've never frozen in battle," Wrex commented, "Not once. Until now. But during all that time I never saw a rachni, either. They're a defeated enemy, beasts of the past, and now they're back!"

"And this will be Cerberus' downfall," Shepard judged. He turned to Garrus. "The Council will know of this. I will report to them, and I will give all data about Cerberus to them, too. An organization studying living rachni! The Council will fall on them like a ton of bricks, they'll hunt them to the ends of the galaxy, because - living rachni!" He grinned again. "I got those sons of bitches."

"I, uh, agree," Garrus said somewhat awkwardly, "The Council must know, and they'll hunt down Cerberus for that. But will this not also hurt the Alliance?"

Shepard scoffed. "The Alliance! They've proven utterly unable to protect anybody from Cerberus. Cerberus is a threat to humanity, yet the Alliance can't manage to contain it! So, instead I'll sic the Council on that threat!" He shook his head. "Cerberus has killed hundreds of humans. Having them destroyed, by _whomever_, will protect humanity. Not necessarily the Alliance, but if in doubt I put humanity way higher than the Alliance."

"Understood," Garrus replied uncertainly.

"There's a reason why I made sure I'm here in my function as member of the Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch, and not in my role as Commander in the Systems Alliance Navy," Shepard explained. "Well then, Garrus, see if you can make some nice records of those bugs. Heh, it's really about time I get one of those visors as well, they're convenient. Tali, draw all files you can from the terminals here."

"And what about the bug here?" Wrex asked in an almost threatening manner.

"We'll give Binthu's location to the Council, so that they can send others to see the rachni for themselves," Shepard answered.

"Why? The turian is making records of it. We should just kill it!" Wrex demanded.

"What's the point?" Shepard asked. "Yes, Garrus' records could be enough. Or not. Best to give as much evidence to the Council as possible. There could be valuable information gained from that rachni. See it as a prisoner of war to be interrogated."

"We never took rachni prisoner of wars," Wrex growled.

"Well, now we'll do!" Shepard replied decisively and heatedly. He build himself up to full height in front of Wrex, even if that was still considerably less than the krogan's, and pointed his finger at him. "That might be the only possibility to get to the others. Or do you really think that bug is the only one of his race still alive? Somewhere out there there must be more of them. Do you really want to satisfy your blood lust with that one meager rachni, instead of wanting to know where the others are?"

Wrex growled again, but then laughed. "You've got a quad, Shepard," he said. "You're right. A true warrior's blood lust is not satisfied by just one enemy. He makes sure the entire enemy side gets eradicated."

Liara looked shocked, but Shepard grinned. "That's _exactly_ what I plan to do to _my_ enemies," he said.

…

"According to Admiral Kahoku's file this is the last base," Garrus commented. The Mako stood behind a ridge some hundreds metres away from it.

"Has anybody heard anything from the Admiral since the Commander got his message?" Liara asked.

"No," Shepard replied. "Not a word. And considering Cerberus' influence... I fear they've gotten him."

"Then we owe it to him to see this through," Garrus said, "To defeat Cerberus for him,"

Tali looked at Shepard. _That's not the person for whom Shepard does that, to whom he dedicates this fight._ However, the Commander remained silent.

They had cleansed two more bases in the meanwhile, one where Cerberus had studied Thorian Creepers, and one where they had studied husks. Those two installations had been virtual clones of the first. In both cases they had maintained the central kinetic barriers cage, and left the creatures living, so that the Council could send another team to verify the data.

They had also by chance come across a Prothean pyramid. This had of course greatly excited Liara, as there was no data on Prothean remains on this planet. If there once were, Cerberus had probably deleted them when they had altered the Alliance databanks to make Binthu appear hostile and uninteresting. The squad had on Liara's urging and with Shepard's amused agreement inspected the pyramid, and even found a Prothean disc and some children toys. Liara had been ecstatic at that find, and even now still had to force her thoughts back on the mission. Tali hoped she could. At least the find probably had given her quite a boost in morale.

Now the Mako descended on the last known Cerberus facility on the planet. Its two rocket towers were quickly destroyed, and the squad entered the underground bunker. It seemed to be built no different to other three installations they already had visited.

Again, Shepard fell into a true combat fury. Tali had learned the human expression 'berserk', and had looked up the word. It fit: Shepard fighting the Cerberus troops was a true _beserkergang _for him, complete with the mythical powers humans had ascribed to them over a millennium ago due to his biotics. Since Wrex now charged along at his side, and since the rest of the team had become so apt at supporting them, the two were a true juggernaut. Both had their armours pierced when their shields faltered, but in the end, they emerged undoubtedly victorious.

"I think we got them all, Commander," Garrus announced. And indeed, not a single Cerberus trooper or researcher was left alive in the room. They had all fought to the death. _Cerberus' members must be pretty fanatical. _She saw Shepard standing over the corpse of a fallen enemy, looking around for more enemies and finding none, the biotic energy flickering in his hands slowly receding.

Wrex was in the meanwhile looking at the kinetic barriers cage. "Even more bugs," he growled.

Tali came to take a look, too. The three creatures in the cage were vaguely similar to the one they had encountered in the first facility, but yet also visibly different. "They are much smaller," she pointed out.

"Workers," Wrex explained. He was quite agitated again. "The other rachni was a warrior. They have different castes."

"Commander," Garrus spoke up quietly. "There's a human body there inside with them."

"Goddess!" Liara exclaimed, "It's Admiral Kahoku."

Tali could see the body now, too. It was indeed Kahoku. "Cerberus got him," she said flatly.

"He died a hero, then," Shepard stated decisively. He grinned humourlessly. "Well then, Wrex, seems like you will get to fight rachni still today. We need to recover that body. Hell, we need to check if he's dead at all, but of course we can assume so. In any case we can't just let the corpse rot there for weeks, we need to find out how they've killed him. Dr Chakwas must do an autopsy as quickly as possible. And that means we need that body."

"This will be interesting," Wrex said with a predatory joy in his voice.

"First, though, Garrus, record them," Shepard ordered. "Extensively. And leave the recording running during the fight."

"Of course, Commander," Garrus confirmed.

"The rest, brace yourself for the first fight against rachni... in over two thousand years," Shepard went on.

Wrex emitted a short growl in reaction. He certainly was all too ready for that fight.

When Shepard turned off the kinetic barriers, he was the first to reach the rachni. Unbelieving, Tali saw how he threw himself at one of the workers with his bare hands, and began to tear it apart. _We all have our enemies, it seems. _

Liara lifted the second worker into the air, while the third one went down in a hail of bullets, as did afterwards the one hanging at the ceiling. Wrex' rachni was the last and most brutal to die. The krogan finished it off with a ferocious battle howl.

After the fight was over, Liara was the first one to arrive at Kahoku's corpse."No pulse," she confirmed, kneeling besides him "he's dead."

"His body doesn't show any signs of violent trauma, though," Garrus commented, leaning over the asari, "It wasn't the rachni who killed him."

"No," Liara agreed, "Look at this." She held up Kahoku's left arm. "Needle marks. He was poisoned."

"Why would they need to inject the poison, though?" Garrus asked.

"They wouldn't..." Shepard began. "Damnit!" Everybody turned towards him. "If they have a sense for the dramatic they did to him the same as they did to Toombs. Thresher Maw acid in his veins, in deadly doses. I bet you Chakwas will find that inside his body."

"Oh goddess," Liara whispered.

_It's odd. She's remarkably collected and calm in battle for somebody without military training, but revelations like this still always shock her. _

"We don't know for sure yet," Garrus reminded her, "In fact we don't know at all." He paused, and then continued: "However, I wouldn't take the bet."

Shepard sighed. "We'll see. We need to get the body outside. Hopefully we can carry it with some dignity for the Admiral, and not like a sack of lumps, but it's not like we have a bier or anything..."

He stopped when he saw the body softly going upwards and floating in the air. It was surrounded by a faint blue glow. Shepard looked at Liara, whose hands also were surrounded by a small aura of blue. "Well, that works, too," Shepard commented and smiled melancholic. "We'll show our respect for him by getting him justice. He died a hero, uncovering a conspiracy that has killed hundreds of people. And now we will finish his work and finish that conspiracy off. Or get the Council to do so, at least."

000000

Shepard had been working on his report for the Council, when Tali had informed him of her findings about the data gathered on Binthu. There had been regrettably little of it. It appeared files were not stored long term in the research facilities, but for security reasons immediately transmitted to a central data hub somewhere else in the cluster. Fortunately, one data transfer had been ongoing, so Tali's tracking device, already used against the geth in the Armstrong Nebula, had been able to determine where the signal went to.

So now, Shepard and his Spectre entourage were on Nepheron, an unimportant small world in the Columbia system. As with Binthu, information about it was rare, a clear sign of Cerberus tampering with Alliance databanks.

It had taken days for the Cerberus base to be found. Signal tracking just was not that exact over several light years. However, the _Normandy_'s stealth abilities meant that the ship could hang in orbits for extensive periods of times and scan the surface without being detected. And that was what had happened. It had been pain staking, but finally Navigator Pressly had been able to report the finding of a small bunker entrance in very mountainous region in the arctic areas of the planet. Without intensive searching it would never have been found - it was a perfect hiding spot for a data hub.

For a facility with such an assumed great importance the outside had been badly secured, though. The entrance had not even included rocket towers. Only two Cerberus troops on guard duty had been rudely awakened from their normally surely boring routine and had been disposed of. Either Cerberus trusted on the base's hidden location - or all heavy resistance would be inside.

As the squad was preparing to storm inside, Shepard even _hoped_ it would be the latter. If Nepheron was a data hub, then this would make matters perfect. Not only could Shepard give a perfect, irresistible incentive to the Council to hunt Cerberus down, no, in that case he could also give the necessary information to do so to the Council. And there was no more powerful enemy in the galaxy than the Council. Still, everything would be in their hands then. This was the last opportunity for Shepard to take personal revenge.

He indented to make the most of it.

He had been trained for heads-on charges. Both his biotic training and his weapons training has specifically been tailored to make him specialize in close quarter combats. As a commanding officer, he preferred to be on the defensive, but as a combatant himself he was more comfortable with the offensive, and especially with all-out assaults. However, the fights on Binthu had been different. Those were not just his usual charges. This had been a deep seated desire to see everybody in front of him _dead,_ without much care for his own well being. It had been true blood lust.

He supposed that such emotions should scare him, but they did not. He had brooded about that while the _Normandy_ had circled in orbit above Nepheron, but he just could not find it inside himself to reject or fear his emotions. After all, he _knew_ that he would not just shoot a prisoner. In the end, no harm had come to Dr Wayne, and that whole episode only strengthened his convictions not to harm or mistreat prisoners. And everybody who did not surrender, everybody who took up arms in the name of Cerberus, everybody who fought for those terrorists to the death very much deserved that death, and Shepard was only all to willing to hand it out.

His squad stood behind him, waiting for him to open the door. _Good people, all of them. _Shepard trusted them, even though they all were aliens. _But then, it seems that doesn't faze me in general. _He spared one more glance for Tali. _Well, I guess at least we can share these battles together, if nothing else. _She had told him numerous times she would be at his side when he needed her, and she always had been. By now, he did not need to be told any more.

He opened the door.

As luck would have it, a sole Cerberus soldier stood only few metres away from the door. Shepard immediately shot and watched with glee as the soldier went down. He then stormed into the room. Battle instincts took over. He ran from cover to cover, ever towards the enemy, constantly firing at them, using his biotic powers as the situation demanded.

However, it was more than just battle instincts. He took risks he would never have taken in other fights. And as he saw his enemies fall before him, or backing off, a vicious sense of triumph griped him. He chased after them, ever forward, to see every last of them going down.

He thus spent the entire battle in a sort of happy stupor. He could rely entirely on his instincts, he could still make informed decisions and execute tactical maneuvers, but it was nonetheless a sort of trance, which made him totally forget the dangers of the battlefield. He had named Cerberus his personal enemies, and now he was destroying them. He experienced an animal joy about that.

When the battle winded down he noticed how Garrus and Liara gave him critical looks. He could even understand them. He had not tried to hide just what he had felt during battle. Wrex of course did not care. Surprisingly, apparently neither did Tali. She simply announced: "Area clear," and then even added approvingly: "Now we can go look what data they have in store here."

He smiled slightly at her unwavering pragmatism.

"Too bad we couldn't make prisoners," he commented, still breathing heavily. _Even if maybe it didn't look like I wanted to do so. _"I guess... I guess Dr Wayne will have to do. But what the hell... just what is it with them always fighting to the death?"

Garrus was kneeling over a corpse and replied: "I've wondered the same thing, actually." He opened the fallen soldier's mouth. His claws ticked against the trooper's teeth. "As I thought. False teeth."

"...filled with poison, most likely" Shepard completed. _Having a C-Sec officer along the way does have its advantages. _"Looks like they were well prepared to go into death if need be."

"Hrm," Wrex harrumphed. "Primitive for such a wide reaching conspiracy. Most secret agents use exploding occular implants these days. Especially salarians."

"Ah..." Liara sounded shocked, but did not go on.

"Well then," Shepard commented, "Then let's not get Cerberus the time to get a hold on a salarian and switch to those implants. Tali, Garrus, I think you know your roles by now."

"I suppose having to do all the work like here is better than not getting to work properly at all like at C-Sec," Garrus joked. "A bit at least."

"Yes, you have so much work to do, Garrus," Tali replied dryly. "Walking around and looking at things." She herself was already working at a terminal.

"I'm just saying that I don't regret joining up with Shepard," Garrus defended himself. "Uncovering a large conspiracy working on living rachni? Or hunting down a rogue Spectre and his pet geth, with countless lives on the stake and no regulations to get in the way? I'd say that beats C-Sec."

"I'm pleased that the imminent destruction of all organic life has improved your career opportunities," Tali snarked. After a pause she continued: "I'm surprised. You have told us so much about C-Sec that I thought you liked it there. You ever miss those talks now?"

"Not really," Garrus stated.

"But Garrus, remember how you told us about interrogating prisoners?" Tali continued, "It was an opportunity to share!"

"This conversation is over," Garrus insisted.

"Tell us again about C-Sec red tape," Tali teased.

"I have an assault rifle," Garrus warned.

"Ah, maybe another time," Tali concluded.

Shepard chuckled quietly at the banter. He was coming down from the battle rush, but unlike previous occasions it was not a fall into an abyss. He had won, and now his team currently was preparing for the final strike against Cerberus - to get the Council to hunt down the organization.

His thoughts were interrupted by Tali. "Keelah!" she swore angrily.

"What is it?" he asked.

The quarian did not answer. Instead, she continued typing on her terminal. Soon after, the electronics of Shepard's hardsuit told him that they were receiving vast amounts of data. Judging by the surprised gestures among the rest of the squad, he apparently was not the only one.

"I hope that was sufficient," Tali said after a while.

"What... What did just happen?" Shepard asked.

"The optical drive began to flash itself as soon as I tried to access it," Tali explained, "so I simply copied the data as quickly as I could, to all electronic storage devices nearby. Including your hardsuits."

"Huh," Shepard answered surprised, "Quick thinking. Is the data secured?"

"I think so," Tali answered. "Or at least the majority. It's heavily encrypted, though. Nothing I could decrypt on the spot here."

"Well, we have time now," Shepard said. "Or rather, the Council will have. Too bad I can't tell them what kind of information this is, but it's something, at least."

"Even their specialists might take some time," Tali judged, "This is really advanced encryption software."

"I see," Shepard stated, "Well, I'll think of something about that. For now, good work, team. The mission was a success. Let's get back to the _Normandy_." He activated his comm system. "Pressly? We're finished here. Try to set up a meeting with the Council. I have most important news for them."

On the drive and jump back onto the _Normandy_ Shepard tried to formulate his report to the Council. It would be a shock to them, that much was clear. Whatever they might think of him, the message that he found living rachni, and people experimenting on them, would entirely level the playing field. He looked forward to that.

However, on the way to the conference room he was intercepted by Williams and Alenko.

"Seems like you've been successful down there, sir," Williams commented.

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed in good spirits, "We could eliminate all opposition and capture large amounts of data. The mission certainly was a success."

Williams looked to Alenko, who however remained silent. The exchange of looks appeared somewhat awkward. Then Williams spoke up again: "There've been rumours, though, sir. That you'll turn over all information to the Council. I didn't want to believe it, but..." She trailed off.

_Rumours, eh? _But there was no reason to deny it. "It's true," Shepard confirmed. "The Alliance has known about Cerberus for years and not done anything. Well, somebody has to!"

"The Alliance has known for years because Cerberus was once one of their units!" Williams replied, suddenly heatedly. "If the Council gets to know of that, it will embarrass the Alliance!"

Shepard stopped walking and focused his view on Williams. "A platoon on Akuze, a further platoon on Edolus - dozens of dead marines. Don't tell me you don't want justice for that, Chief, because I wouldn't believe it."

"I do!" Williams exclaimed. "But these are human affairs. We cannot let aliens weaken the Alliance."

"The Alliance will get embarrassed, yes," Shepard conceded, "But it won't really get hurt. Cerberus has been rogue for gods know how long. They have nothing to do with the Alliance any more. Okay, so it'll be awkward for the government to explain their incompetence in dealing with them, but that's about it. This can't hurt the Alliance - but it will hurt Cerberus. Surely that's something you want?"

"I do," Williams admitted, "but is it really necessary to expose the Alliance?"

"Over the years the Alliance has put so many efforts into not appearing weak," Shepard commented "I think that as long as it doesn't really harm them a bit of embarrassment might be good for them. Shows them that it doesn't mean the end of the galaxy."

Williams looked aghast at that, but Alenko knew that Shepard had not spoken in general, that he had referred to one very specific case. He now spoke up: "I think the Commander is right, Chief. It won't hurt the Alliance, and surely politicians getting into awkward situations is something you'd normally like, isn't it?"

Williams harrumphed. "You two really know what buttons to push with me, don't you?" she asked rhetorically. "All right. The politicians really should've done something about Cerberus _way_ earlier, so I guess it's only fair they're now getting embarrassed. The Alliance will survive that, yeah. Hell, without Cerberus it'll even be better off." She paused and then added: "Ah, and sorry for getting so heated, sir, I..."

"You normally do, I know," Shepard mock-concluded the sentence for her, "It's all right. It serves you well in battle, after all. So yeah, don't be afraid to speak your mind."

"Noted, sir," Williams said.

"I guess we could all be a bit more relaxed with each other anyway," Shepard commented. "That reminds me, Alenko, didn't I tell you to drop the _sir _and _Commander _in situations like this?"

"Ah... You did indeed... Shepard," Alenko admitted.

"Right there we go," Shepard said, "So it's only fair that I offer the same to you... Williams."

"I'll keep that in mind... Skipper," Williams responded.

"Hah, that certainly works, too," Shepard commented. _Skipper, eh? Well, I certainly won't complain. _"I have an audience with the Council now, though."

"Good luck then," Williams said, "And shout at the turian Councillor for me, will you?"

Shepard laughed. "That's how it usually ends up."

He turned to go. _That's indeed how it usually ends up. This time will be different, though. I'll have the upper hand. I hardly can wait. _He grinned and continued to make his way to the conference room. He arrived at the holographic terminal at it and turned it on, however it did not yet receive a signal.

He heard Joker's voice over ship's communication system: "The Council will be ready in a few minutes, Commander. However, we got a call, and I really think you gonna want to hear it. Audio only."

"Patch it through," Shepard ordered.

A new voice filled the room: "Greetings, Commander Shepard. I represent a party interested in obtaining information on Cerberus activities."

"Sounds good," Shepard answered, "Any such party is welcome to me. So, whom do you represent, and what do you know about Cerberus?"

"I'm an agent of the Shadow Broker," the voice answered, "But I suspect currently I know less about Cerberus than you do. That's why I'm calling you, Commander. You see, Admiral Kahoku contacted my employer looking for information on on the location of any Cerberus facilities. We provided that information on the promise that he would turn over copies of all files gathered from the Cerberus systems to us."

_Heh. Seems like Admiral Kahoko was just as uncaring about the Alliance being exposed as I am. He was a good man. _"Of any Cerberus facilities?" Shepard asked. "Any on Binthu, you mean. Pretty meager information. And the data we found _there_ was sparse. So, you don't happen to know more Cerberus facilities?"

"We acquired information about the location of the Binthu facilities from our contacts," the Shadow Broker agent explained, "Unfortunately, that was all we were able to find out. That is why we're so interested in acquiring copes of the files you have."

_Those files are heavily encrypted, but I guess that won't be a problem for the Shadow Broker... or for any well-organized intelligence service... hah! _An idea hit him. _The perfect way to defeat a shadowy conspiracy - drag it into the open light kicking and screaming. _He would simply send those files to everybody. _The Shadow Broker will get the files, but won't be able to make use of them - I'll oversaturate the entire infosphere. And Alliance secrecy be damned!_

"Very well," Shepard answered, "How do you want those files transmitted? Are there any one-time mail accounts on the extranet, or should I simply physically hand them over to Barla Von? I'm on the way to the Citadel anyway."

"Ah..." The caller seemed surprised by Shepard's sudden compliance. The Commander smirked at his success of catching his conversation partner off-guard. "I... think it is most efficient not to use up any of those accounts in this case. Please give the data to Barla Von, if you'd be so kind, Commander."

"Will do," Shepard confirmed.

"Thank you," the agent replied, "You're a very reasonable man. My employer will remember this the next time you need something from us." And with that, the call ended.

Shepard grinned. He would give the files to Barla Von - and to the turian military intelligence, the various salarian intelligence services, and whatever the asari had for data gathering. He would simply let all the cryptologists of the galaxy work on them. _And if everybody knows about Cerberus, then there's no place for them to hide._

Shepard knew that some, if they were to find out, might consider those actions treason. However, he had not acquired those files as Commander Jonathan Shepard, but as Jonathan Shepard, Council Spectre. They were hence not Alliance property. They could still hurt the Alliance, maybe, but Shepard did honestly believe it would help the Alliance if Cerberus was to be destroyed. Thus in a way, it was even a service to the Alliance

The hologram terminal got a signal. Lights flickered, and images of the Council appeared.

"Commander Shepard," the asari Councillor greeted him. She sounded unusually terse. "We got the call from your XO. What do you have to tell us?"

"Or do you just want to mock us?" the turian Councillor accused him. "What in all spirits' names were you thinking spreading anti-Council propaganda? Do humans know no loyalty?"

_Anti-Council propaganda? ...Oh! The interview I had with Emily must've aired. This is getting better and better. _

"That was very inappropriate of you, Commander," the asari commented.

"All I did was to tell the truth, wasn't it?" Shepard asked rhetorically.

"You were not authorized to tell details of your Ambassador's audience with us," the salarian Councillor stated. He sounded the most neutral.

"Actions like this undermine the authority of the Council," the turian thundered, "Opinions on the Council have begun to further sour in the Alliance as reaction to your interview."

"And yet all I said was merely the truth", Shepard insisted. _Let's set them up for a deep fall once they find out what I've discovered._

"I don't think you can call your theatrical gunwaving a mere explanation of facts," the asari commented.

"It's irrelevant anyway," the turian snapped, "We, the Council, can _expect_ some basic loyalty from our agents. Maybe humans are too undisciplined for that, in which case we'd have to remove you from the program."

"Of course, that would merely be the last resort," the salarian assured, "But in light of your actions we must consider all actions."

"In light of my actions?" Shepard echoed, "I did nothing. I merely talked. Saren killed dozens of innocents even before he allied himself with the geth, and you never did a damn thing about it. I don't think what I did was any worse."

"Saren got the job done before he turned traitor," the turian insisted, "Sometimes at high prices, but always with success. His jobs helped to ensure galactic stability. Your actions help to undermine it. You humans are always trouble makers!"

"So talking is worse than killing," Shepard commented. "Who would've thought. But that's not why I contacted you."

"We're listening," the asari assured. "But be aware that we're watching you closely, so you'd be wise not to misstep again."

"I'm currently transmitting several recordings to you," Shepard explained. "Councillors - I have discovered living rachni. And a conspiracy experimenting on them."

"Rachni?" the asari councillor asked. Nothing remained of her usually calm demeanour in that question. "Did you just say 'living rachni', Commander?"

Shepard just nodded, and the salarian Councillor spoke up: "I'm checking the Commander's records. He seems to be right. He has found living rachni." He sounded utterly unbelieving.

"By the spirits," the turian Councillor muttered. "Tell us more, Shepard, now!"

The Commander suppressed a grin. _Got you. _Even after surely years of diplomatic training, probably even centuries in the case of the asari, the Councillors were utterly unable to conceal their shock. The rachni just had left such a huge mark on the collective psyche of Citadel space. Centuries of war usually tend to do that.

As the Council had demanded, he told them all facts - about Cerberus, his findings, his discovery of the rachni, and the remaining living rachni they could check for themselves.

"This is enormous news, Commander," the asari commented. "We certainly will take action."

"It might help you convince that Saren is not the only threat in the galaxy, and that with dangers like this lurking everywhere sometimes harsh measures are necessary," the turian said pompously.

"I never claimed Saren is the only danger in the galaxy," Shepard defended himself. He held back now in his answers, as everything was progressing according to plan. "Just in my estimation currently the greatest."

"In that case it speaks well of you that even as merely a secondary objective you have managed to uncover this great conspiracy," the salarian judged.

"I find it curious you would expose a human conspiracy," the turian said distrustfully, "and didn't you say that 'Cerberus' was once an Alliance black ops group?"

"Councillor, I am human, and I am an Alliance citizen," Shepard explained, "But regardless of the circumstances of my appointment, I'm also a Spectre. And if I stumble about something as enormous as living rachni, then of course I'll have to report that to the Council, no matter the circumstances. I know galactic history, and the importance of that find."

"So you do have a concept of duty then," the turian commented. It was condescending, but Shepard did not say anything. Things were going how he wanted them to go.

"You would not be the first Spectre to have problems with authority and respect," the asari said,

"However, you do seem to have a very well developed sense of duty," the salarian went on. "And the right abilities to execute your duty."

"Work on your attitude," the turian advised, "You seem to have some traits that could potentially make you a great Spectre, but you do need to work on your attitude."

_Uh-huh. __He's one to talk. But of course the Council now can't simply take back everything they've said at the beginning. I guess I'll have to let them keep face._ However, Shepard remained silent.

"Your gathered data seems to be quite extensive," the salarian said, "No doubt we'll be able to use it."

"Good luck in your further work, Commander," the asari concluded the talk, "You've done a great service to the galaxy."

When the holograms had faded away, Shepard began to laugh. It was a release of tension, a sign of triumph. Everything had worked out perfectly. It appeared that quite by accident he had become a master manipulator, playing the different factions out against one another.

Due to that report to the Council the Council would now hunt down Cerberus - but there was more: By finding almost mythical beasts like that, something quite outstanding, he had convinced the Council of his resourcefulness. And by giving them information about a former Alliance black op group, he had 'convinced' them of his 'loyalty' and 'sense of duty'. Especially the turian Councillor would now think twice about removing him; after all he could also be used against the Alliance, or so it would now seem to the Council.

_This should get the Council off my neck for some time. _He grinned. He would never have been able to do all this had they not stumbled over rachni, though. _An accidental puppet player. How interesting. Not that it matters how I've done it. Only one thing matters now: Cerberus is going down, they'll have no place to hide any more. The Council will not allow any organization working on rachni - rachni! - to survive. And now they have the motivation and means to utterly break them up. _

_Success. _


	17. Ch17: Armistice Day

Tali sat down in the mess and breathed out. Her thoughts were dominated by a deeply felt sense of success and accomplishment. She had just returned from the mission on Nepheron. Shepard had immediately went to the conference room to report to the Council, to finalize his success. She was not as emotionally invested into the whole business as him; to her personally Cerberus meant nothing. However she knew how much it meant to Shepard, and she was very glad that she had been able to contribute to his triumph.

Now, she could focus on the next item ahead of her. The geth data.

She still had it saved on her omni-tool. After all, it had been her who had downloaded it. However, it had been on one of Shepard's missions. She merely had acted as one of his agents. She could just grab the data and return to the Flotilla, but that was a mere theoretical possibility and not something actually thinkable: Such behaviour would only serve to reinforce the stereotype of quarians as thieves, and besides, she just couldn't steal it from Shepard. And since the data was rightfully his, it would be a sort of theft.

Yet, she needed the data. And it was on her omni-tool. She really needed to talk with the Commander about it. She had held back during the missions against Cerberus, because Shepard's mind would surely be on other things then. However, now the issue returned to her thoughts with great force. It seemed a bit odd even to herself how quickly this came up in her mind, but she supposed she simply had held back with that too long already. This was _very_ important for her.

She leaned her elbows on the table. Automatically her fingers began to fiddle with each other. She was impatient and a bit nervous.

Eventually, she saw Shepard appearing. He looked very content. One could even say that he looked smug, with a rather stupid smile on his face. Tali could not help it, though, she found it somewhat adoring. She had to admit, she liked the rich diversity of human facial expressions of humans more and more in general. Quarians were a bit more limited in that anyway, and after generations of wearing their envirosuits they generally did not place great importance on them any more. _But what range of emotions they can convey!_ She liked that. Especially of course on Shepard.

However, how he looked now also near-automatically triggered her sense of humour. She remarked ironically: "Shepard. You look like you've found Saren in your locker and are now transporting him to the Citadel."

He stopped at that, looked dumbfounded, and then broke out in laughter. "Nearly as good, Tali, nearly as good."

"The Council has agreed to hunt down Cerberus?" Tali asked.

"Agreed? They were utterly shocked by my findings, just as I thought they'd be," Shepard answered. He walked to the table, and leaned his hands on the back of a chair "Ah, Tali, when I set out to fight Cerberus I never thought I could bring this to such a perfect conclusion."

"It does seem to be your usual method," Tali disagreed, "bring down an enemy and find somebody more competent to finish him off."

"Heh, put like that, you're right," Shepard admitted.

"Very few manage to get the Citadel Council to do that job, though," Tali remarked. "I wonder who'll mop up Saren after we're done with him. There isn't much more above the Council any more."

"Ah, I suppose we'll have to finish up Saren ourselves," Shepard said. "That is what I initially was named Spectre for, after all." He grinned. "But how difficult can the hunt for him still be now?"

_He really is in good spirits now. _It was complete transformation, compared to the gloom that had held him after Earth, or after he had received the Cipher. It was a really nice to watch that transformation, too. She tried to get her thoughts away from that. _Today I'm hit rather hard, it seems. _

"I think the Council will consider you a good choice as Spectre now anyway," Tali pointed out. "And to the Alliance you've proved your worth in the Armstrong Nebula." It would have been a nice potential transition to asking about the geth data. _Speaking of which... _But Shepard had just now come back to reporting back to the Council. In fact, he even still was in armour. _He should still have his moments of triumph. I can bother him about the data later._

Shepard chuckled lightly "I never thought of the latter. Maybe they're both off my neck now for a while." He paused, and his facial expression became softer. "Anyway, I suppose I should thank you. You... well, you said you'd be at my side against Cerberus, and you were. You led us to Nepheron, and you captured all that data in the end, despite Cerberus' anti-tampering security. So, thank you."

Sometimes, like at the moment, Tali was grateful for her envirosuit. It was probably a good thing that Shepard could not see her own facial expressions at the moment. "I don't think..." she began. _Somehow that always happens to me_ a detached part of her analzyed _I wonder if I'll ever get to end my first sentence in talks like these. _"You shouldn't thank me. We're a team." Speaking calmer she continued: "Ship crew. In quarian culture, ship crews always have to form strong bonds, it's practically a necessity."

To her surprise, Shepard smirked at that. "Well, this isn't a quarian ship, but it sounds like a good tradition." His grin looked different from before. _Where did that come from?_

"As I've said: It's a quarian tradition," Tali joked. As much as she had enjoyed Shepard's gratitude, she was glad the conversation had gone away from that. She continued: "I think I'm going to rest now. It was a difficult battle - though I think you didn't notice it much."

Shepard smiled somewhat sheepishly. "I guess I, ah, fell into a fugue there, maybe." He shrugged. "But I had a level-headed team at my back, didn't I? Well then, see you around, I hope." With that he turned and went.

_This might prove to be difficult. _

…

The _Normandy_ had reached half the way to the Citadel, and Tali's shift had just ended. Most likely some time after her next shift the ship would reach the station, the political and social centre of the galaxy.

She chatted with some other people at Engineering whose shifts had just been ended, too. There still were some few people on the ship who looked oddly at her, but her own ship section had always been friendly and supportive. _A true crew. _

However, her mind was elsewhere. Quarians were a sociable people, and due to ship overpopulation and hence overstaffing had always much free time they could fill with little else than talking. As such, Tali was apt enough in idle small-talk. However, after some time of it, the group dispersed and Tali took the elevator leading upward from the cargo bay.

She had thought of a clear destination, but when she reached the door of the CO's cabin, she hesitated. She knew she had to talk with Shepard about the geth data, but - _what if he declines? _It was unlikely in her estimation, but possible.

However, she also had become somewhat fed up with her own hesitation. _It's a valid request, and I'll present it as such._ She chimed the door bell and announced herself to Shepard via her omni-tool. The door opened.

She saw Shepard raising from the chair at his desk. "Tali. What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you here," Tali answered. She still was somewhat self-conscious in entering his cabin.

"Not at all," Shepard assured her. "Do you have something on your mind?"

"I have in fact," Tali anwered. Her thoughts now focused, she managed to be and appear much more self-certain. "The data we collected on Solcrum. It's on my omni-tool, but I acquired it on an Alliance mission under your command. So it's rightfully yours. However, I wanted to ask whether I could keep a copy. I can understand if you reject that request, the data is very valuable, but I think my people especially could make good use of it. "

" So you want to take it home as a pilgrimage gift?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Tali confirmed. "It would be perfect for that. A way how I can fulfil all expectations and serve my people."

"What... what would you do then, if you have it?" Shepard asked. He sounded surprisingly uncertain.

It was a good question. She had wondered that herself. She would eventually return to her people, but leaving the _Normandy _would be a sad occasion. However, she did still have a good reason to stay on board: "Return to the Migrant Fleet, eventually. But not before we've stopped Saren. I will see this through to the end either way."

Shepard smiled, but he still seemed somewhat insecure. "Well, good." He sighed. "I never really thought about it, I must admit, but you're right - the data was acquired on an official Alliance mission. I probably couldn't even claim my team acquired it assisting me in my function as a Spectre. So, I guess, strictly speaking it's Alliance property..."

Some part of Tali was annoyed at how he brought up Alliance regulations _now_, after all he had done, but that was unfair. This time there was no great injustice involved, so of course he would keep to Alliance regulations. _It's just a pity that..._

"However," Shepard went on, interrupting her thoughts, "I _am_ an Alliance CO in the field. I can make command decisions, if need be also on the strategical level. The geth are a common enemy of humans and quarians, and as such it's in the best interest for us both to share any data that can be used against them. Or, at least, I can justify my choice that way and call it a field decision." He grinned and added more softly: "Besides, I don't think I could deny your request. Not after you've helped me all those times."

Tali was relieved. Focusing her thoughts again she replied: "Thanks, Shepard. My people - I owe you a great debt. All I can offer in return is what you already have: My full support in catching Saren, and in whatever else you deem necessary."

"I never asked for more," Shepard said softly. However, then he grinned and continued somewhat cockily: "That is, there's one thing. I'll let you have the data under one condition. Outside the battlefield and official functions, how about you call me Jonathan, or Jon?"

Tali had read on human naming traditions. Mostly because they were so different from the rest of the galaxy. Family or clan names were a wide spread concept, but only humans seemed to insist on focusing on them so much. Using personal names was usually something reserved to friends among humans. _But then, he has said before he considers me his friend. _

"You drive a hard bargain," Tali joked, "but I think it's an acceptable condition. I think I can manage to do so, Jon."

"See, there you go," Shepard commented grinning. "In return I'd like to hand over the data in some grand gesture, but as it is you already have it. Hah, you probably could just have kept it and I wouldn't even have noticed it." He paused. "But that would be wrong, of course," he added jokingly.

"I'm moved by your dedication to property rights," Tali answered dryly.

"I'm a Spectre, I stand above such petty concerns," Shepard claimed.

"Yes, and you've given the Council plenty of opportunities to rue that fact already," Tali pointed out. _Of course also opportunities to make them glad about it. _She grinned beneath her mask. _But that isn't the point now. _

"I'm sure more will follow," Shepard prophesized.

_I won't bet against that. _But of course, she wouldn't want Shepard to be any other way.

000000

Tali's request had been a bit surprising to Commander Shepard. Mostly because he had not thought that such a request was necessary at all. As far as he was concerned, she had earned herself the data, and he had thought it agreed upon already that it would be her pilgrimage gift.

That she had bothered to ask spoke well of her, though. _So much for stereotypes of quarian thieves. _

_And how could I ever deny such a request to her? _He just could not, in fact. It had been necessary to invent an official line as for why she could have the data, but even without that he did not think he could have denied it to her.

He knew he could never be together with her. Even though she probably felt the same for him, he was pretty sure about that. However, he could at least be a friend to her, be nice to her, make her stay on the Normandy as comfortable and unforgettable for her as possible. And hence he would do so. So that after she would return to her people, at least both would be able to look back at that time with fondness. That maybe was not much, but it was the best Shepard could hope to achieve regarding the situation.

At least he had gotten her now to call him by his first name. And they both kept up effortlessly with each other's banter.

"I'm moved by your dedication to property rights," Tali commented Shepard's stated surprise at her having asked for the data at all.

"I'm a Spectre, I stand above such petty concerns," Shepard responded.

"Yes, and you've given the Council plenty of opportunities to rue that fact already," Tali pointed out.

_Oh, that's just all too true. _"I'm sure more will follow," Shepard prophesized. He paused and then added: "That reminds me - we'll reach the Citadel in less than thirty hours. I think the squad has deserved some celebration. I'm thinking about my Spectre entourage and probably Alenko and Williams from among the marines. So, how about a visit to the Flux when we arrive? I think you should have a free watch then." He grinned. "I know, it's not Chora's Den, but it sure does have better meals."

"Sure, that sounds like fun," Tali replied. "Though with us seven people - I think we might be quite the attraction to the other clients there."

Shepard laughed. "Yes, probably. The Flux is visited by all sorta people, but we might still manage to stand out. But we've earned it, I think. Besides, there are issues to discuss in a relaxed atmosphere. So we've beaten back the geth in the Armstrong Nebula, and defeated Cerberus practically on the fly, but what now? There are still no new hints about Saren. So, I might as well try to get feedback from the squad about that."

"I understand," Tali replied. "I'm a bit worried where you get your advice, though. A krogan, a quarian, a lady with questionable family ties, a loose cop..."

Shepard chuckled. "I don't think I'd have it any way." He looked at Tali, and very tender thoughts filled his mind. "No, really not." A sort of awkward pause ensued, which interrupted the so far rather pleasant banter. However, what Shepard has said was true, and regarding Tali - he wished he could reach out to her. Ideally even touch her, hold her. Every time he saw her now, every time she was standing in front of him like at the moment, he realized there was also was a physical attraction. Despite all alieness. And there certainly was a mental attraction.

_You're hit pretty hard today, aren't you, Jon? _It could of course never be. Even if he could get used to the fact that he had feelings for an alien, there was the fact of her weak immune system, of the absolute necessity for her environmental suit, and the fact that she was only temporarily away from her very secluded and insular people.

_All I can do is help her, support her, whenever that should be necessary. Goddamn, but I am melodramatic today. _

He coughed. "So, yeah, glad to hear that you can make it. I guess you want to take a look at the geth data now?"

"It's heavily encrypted," Tali explained. "It will probably take years to decipher it, if not decades. But it'll be worth it. So, once again -"

"Don't!" Shepard quickly and decisively interrupted her. "Don't thank me again. Or at all, I guess. You really earned it."

"I understand," Tali answered. Shepard recognized the inflection in her voice that indicated her usual humour. He had gotten quite used to it by now. "I'll henceforth make without expressions of politeness."

"Hah, well, maybe you were right about all the bad company and influences on you which you are exposed to on your pilgrimage," Shepard joked.

"Then I better should remove myself from those influences," Tali said. "Until tomorrow then."

Shepard chuckled again when Tali left the room, and turned towards the datapads lying on his desk again.

…

Shepard found Garrus pacing around nervously in front of a console in the CIC.

"Garrus," he greeted the turian.

"Commander, I..." Garrus began, but then interrupted himself: "What can I do for you?"

"Is something the matter?" Shepard asked. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, really," Garrus answered. He went to the console and logged himself off. It might have been comical or even suspicious, but he did not do so in an hurried manner. "I should probably go to the cargo bay, to check out the Mako."

"I'm on the way there myself," Shepard answered. He fell in line with the turian, and walked towards the elevator.

"It's Saren," Garrus admitted after a while. "I've looked up every source I know on the extranet, every contact I have - still nothing. No new developments on Noveria, either. I'm starting to wonder whether we'll ever find him. We were so close to him on Feros, but it seems we have no further lead towards him any more."

_I kinda did let that lead get cold, didn't I? _Seeing Garrus feel so fiercely dedicated towards the cause of catching Saren made Shepard feel somewhat awkward. "Ah, sorry. We... well, I had to take care of several things, and I, ah..."

"Don't worry, Commander. You had to do it," Garrus reassured him. Both stepped inside the elevator leading down to the cargo bay. "You couldn't let ExoGeni or Cerberus get away with what they've done. You made sure they'll pay the price for their crimes. That's good. But now I'm worrying Saren will get away, and that after everything _he_ has done. I just can't stand the thought of that."

"I understand, Garrus," Shepard answered. It was meant as a mere reassurance, but as he said so a thought hit Shepard: What the turian had said, it was the exact same as his own attitude. His anger at ExoGeni, Cerberus and at times even Alliance - it all boiled down to that he could not stand anybody getting away with their crimes. And thus, he did everything to prevent that, and even if it meant tangentially going against Alliance interests. He had not realized it before, but he felt the same as Garrus.

"I know if anybody can catch him, it's you," the turian went on, "but... "

He paused, and Shepard used that chance to interrupt him: "Saren must be brought to justice, there's no question about it. You're absolutely right. He can't get away with what he's done. And I won't let him. We've always know he'd be several steps ahead of us and that we'll have to catch on. Nothing about that has changed. We'll find him"

The two stepped out of the elevator and into the cargo bay. "I wish I had your confidence," Garrus answered, "If there's anything I can do to help. Anything. Just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

Garrus' agitation surprised Shepard. _This can't be healthy. _The dedication to the cause was good, but Shepard though that maybe it should be better channeled. "If there's anything I'll need you to do, I will tell you. I know you really want to contribute to this and that all this waiting makes you nervous, to say at least, but I can't change that. However, I can assure you that we'll find Saren. And once we do, I need you to be ready."

"Yes, sir," Garrus confirmed, "you can count on me. Thanks for hearing me out. I appreciate it." He began to walk towards the Mako's maintenance terminal. He hesitated slightly but then went on: "Can I ask you something, Commander?"

"Sure, go ahead," Shepard prompted him.

Garrus looked around and finished walking to the maintenance terminal before continuing: "Are you worried that the Council might be protecting Saren? I mean they were really dragging their heels before. What if we find him, bring him back to the Citadel, and they refuse to act?"

"Sounds doubtful to me," Shepard answered, "but it seems you've had some thoughts about it, so speak your mind."

"Well," Garrus answered hesitantly, "maybe we shouldn't give them the chance, Commander. In my opinion, Saren is too dangerous too be kept alive. He could escape, or the Council might let him go..." He trailed off, but then went on more decisively: "If we find him - when we find him, I say we make sure we stop him. Permanently."

"Ah..." Shepard answered. He was surprised by that comment. He had never seen the issue from that angle. "I think you look at it from a wrong perspective, Garrus. As much as the Council would like to pretend to, this is no police case. The geth have attacked several human colonies. We're at war with them. And Saren is their supreme commander. That's not a matter of proper procedure for criminals, rather the laws of war apply here - and as military commander Saren is of course a valid target. So, yes, if we get the chance, we should shoot him."

"I'm glad you see it that way," Garrus remarked.

"_However_, the most ideal situation is to have an enemy commander captured alive, of course," Shepard went on. "For interrogation. Who knows what he could tell us about geth plans, or about Reaper plans. I won't risk everything to get this optimal outcome, but if it is within our reach... then we should try to capture Saren alive."

"But do you really think we could get any additionally knowledge out of interrogating him?" Garrus asked. "Other than the fact that he's a raving lunatic. It's too much a risk in my opinion. He could escape or convince the Council. And what about the geth? They might free to free him. It's your call of course, Commander, but I wouldn't take that risk."

"Saren is the only one who might give us information about the Reapers," Shepard pointed out. "And you've heard Liara. You know what's on the line. I say killing a potential source of information about them is a risk we can't take. He may be absolutely insane by now, but we just must use every source of information about the Reapers we can."

"I see your point, Commander," Garrus replied, "You seem to have thought this through, too. Makes me glad to be part of your team."

"I'm glad to have you on the team," Shepard answered. "Despite our... early disagreements. But I think we'll have need of you in the end. And besides, I consider those disagreements a thing of the past now. Speaking of which - the reason I wanted to speak with you is that we dock at the Citadel in a few hours. I want the squad to discuss our future strategy, and I thought it best to do so in a relaxed atmosphere. So, if you have time we'll meet this evening, Presidium time, at the Flux."

"Right, I'll be there," Garrus confirmed.

"Until then, Garrus," Shepard said and turned to go.

The reason he had wanted to go to the cargo bay was to speak with Wrex and Williams. That he had met Garrus on the way had of course simplified things, though; it meant he would not have to go look for him afterward.

He walked towards Williams' console. He would ask her next. She saw him coming and turned around from her console with a smirk on a face.

"You've talked to Garrus, skipper?" she asked, "He's been twitchy and nervous all day. I hope you've calmed him down some."

"He's just eager and dedicated," Shepard explained, "Something I think _you _of all people should understand."

"Ah, guess so," Williams answered, "So what brings you here? I thought you'd be busy preparing the ship for docking."

"I am, in fact," Shepard replied. "Thing is, we have no idea where Saren is at the moment, so I kinda appreciate any input on what to do. So, I'm trying to arrange a meeting for the usual ground team at the Flux this evening. So, if you have time..."

"Today?" Ashley asked. She sounded surprised. "Well, that's one way to mark the day, I guess. Then again, Garrus will be there, too, won't he? I, that is, I have nothing against him, but today..."

"Ah... I don't understand," Shepard said, "What's so special about today?"

"It's Armistice Day," Williams answered, "When the First Contact War ended. My family always marks it."

"Seems like an odd thing to celebrate," Shepard remarked, "That was 26 years ago,"

"In our family, it's not really a celebration, more like an obligation." Williams stated. She hesitated. "Don't tell me you don't know about my family. My commanders always find out. It's not in the files or something?"

"There's almost nothing in your files," Shepard explained, "Just technical scores and a list of crap assignments."

"There's a reason for the crap assignments," Williams said, "I'm General William's granddaughter. The commander of the Shanxi garrison in the War. 'The only human ever to surrender to an alien race'."

_That explains so much, on so many levels. Shit, and that's the reason for all the crappy deployments? _"I know about General Williams, of course," Shepard remarked, "but I never thought of a family connection. It's not exactly an uncommon family name after all. So, damn, you get blamed for _that_?"

Williams shook her head. "Not formally. Dad got passed for promotion over and over. And I think my record merits more than garrison duty on a backwater agri-colony." Her voice was unusually serious and calm for her. "It takes a special kind of thickheaded to march into a job where your family is blacklisted. I did it anyway. I'm not going to let our name go down with Arnold or Quisling. Granddad deserved better than that."

"Whoa, hold on!" Shepard stopped. "General Williams was a _hero_. 'The only human ever to surrender aliens', bah, how very easy to say for people who hadn't been there. From all I read about it, it's not like he had much choice. No supplies, cut off from Alliance Command, turians threatening civilians... yet some would have those civilians die and the troops get themselves killed rather than _them _losing face."

This had Williams absolutely stumped. Finally she grinned slightly, "Jeez, the way you put that you sound even more passionate about it than me,"

Shepard laughed sharply. "Probably not, no. It's just how I always argue, I`m sure you know that by now. And I'm sick to the bone of that mentality. People who'd rather see others, always _others_, suffer rather than _them _losing face or appearing weak. It's just selfish as hell and cruel besides." He shook his head and continued calmer: "It's the duty of us military personal to protect people. Many of us are willing to give up their lives for that, and that's good and recommendable. But that wasn't required at Shanxi. General Williams instead sacrificed just what was necessary sacrificing: His pride. He swallowed down his pride, and saved countless civilians that way. Just what a soldier _should_ do. If people want to pin blame, they should blame the turians, who leveled entire city blocks from orbit."

"And yet, now we're all cozy and friendly toward them," Williams remarked snidely.

"Yeah, it's a disgrace," Shepard agreed, "you won't get any disagreement from me there."

"So I take it you won't kick me off the ship, skipper?" Williams asked. Despite the way she had formulated the sentence, she still sounded unsure.

"To hell with that," Shepard answered aggressively. "Yes, I fully support what General Williams did, but in the end it's absolutely irrelevant. I could also have talked about that with a random person off the street, instead of his granddaughter. It shouldn't matter that you're related to him, it shouldn't matter at all who is related to whom in general." He paused and went on calmer: "So, no. You're a good soldier, Williams. In terms of sheer combat prowess you're probably the best among my crew, besides Wrex, and he's a krogan with centuries of experience. Besides, you're dedicated, fair in dealing with your fellow soldiers, and able to exercize command as seen on Therum. Excuse my French, but - kick you off the ship? Because of who your grandfather was? Fuck that."

"That was blunt," Williams remarked, "but I like blunt. Not to get all cheesy, but you're the first CO who ever said that to me. And the first person within the military I've met who really defended my grandfather. There's always been talks about exonerating him, but nothing ever comes out of it. The navy blocks like crazy. So, thanks, skipper."

"Really?" Shepard asked. "That's a sad state of affairs. Seems then like everybody would rather have bragging rights than to avoid other people suffering. And not only regarding that issue, either. Maybe humanity has gotten a tad too vain."

"Sorry, skipper, but those considerations are way above my pay grade," Williams answered. She again hesitated. "I think I can come. However... My grandfather would probably turn over in his grave if I shared drinks with a turian. And on Armistice Day nonetheless?" She was visibly troubled about that.

"You don't have to come," Shepard assured her. "But Garrus is part of the team. Do you really want to have nothing to do with him, just so you can prove a point to everybody about your family?"

"I don't know," Williams admitted, "Sometimes I do think about showing it to everybody. Some sorta big service or big sacrifice. But at other times..."

"Don't," Shepard interrupted her, "General Williams refused to sacrifice his men to save face for the people who weren't even there. And he did right in doing so. So are you planning now to throw yourself on a sword to save face for him?"

"Would it make a difference?" Williams asked, "He's gone now. Dad's gone, too. And who would it impress? I'll never be good enough for the Alliance."

"Or maybe they are not good enough for you," Shepard disagreed. "I know, probably heresy to you, but I don't think loyalty should ever be a one-way street. And for what it's worth - for whatever reasons you chose to sign up, even if they were incredibly thickheaded, I'm glad you did and I'm glad you're here. And you are on the most important mission any of us will ever have, don't forget that." He grinned lopsidedly. "However, so is Garrus."

"I... I'll have to think about what you've said," Williams said, "Now I'm definitely sounding cheesy, but it's a lot of new stuff for me. I guess you'll see whether I'll be at the Flux or not. I'd like to give you a more definite answer, but..."

"It's all right," Shepard assured her, "this is in comparison rather unimportant, after all. Get your head clear, that's more important."

"You're probably right, skipper," Williams said. "It never was my best body part, though."

"But certainly your hardest," Shepard commented grinning. "Well, I better go then. Just think about what I've said. You do deserve a fairer treatment."

"Will do, skipper, and thanks," Williams said. "See you around either way, whether I'll be at the Flux or not."

…

The Citadel, glorious centre of the galaxy, nexus of cultures, glittering metropolis in space - but eventually one hardly regarded that any more. After the _Normandy _had returned once again to the giant space station, Shepard, Tali, Liara, Garrus, Williams and Alenko were now walking through the best parts of the upper wards. Noble shops, glittering light and elegant people surrounded them, but they had pretty much become used to it.

They were on the way to Flux. Everybody had agreed to come, though Wrex had said he would join up later. Even Williams had, after a lot of dithering, decided to come along. However, Shepard noticed how she regularly shot glances to Garrus now. She still seemed somewhat uncomfortable.

"The Flux is great," Alenko said, "I like the atmosphere there, and the food and music are very good."

"Expensive, though," Williams noted, "but I guess we can afford to go there once in a while."

"Yes, it's not that bad," Alenko opined. "I don't think they... ah, what's that noise?"

Shepard heard it now, too. It sounded like shouting. Human shouting. As he walked on, he could see a crowd of some dozens that had assembled at the Ward's space view deck.

"Ah great, a political rally," Williams said sarcastically.

"Isn't that the Terra Firma symbol?" Alenko asked as they came closer and could get a better look.

"This just gets better and better," Williams commented, "Must be their..."

She got interrupted by a person standing in front of the crowd though. It was a man with well styled full beard, and he shouted: "Ah, Commander Shepard, the Spectre. Please, could I have a word with you."

Shepard looked first at Williams, then at Alenko, and then shrugged and walked towards the man.

The man shook Shepard's hand. "Commander Shepard, it is an honour to speak with you."

"Thanks," Shepard replied, "Who are you, and what's this demonstration about?"

"I'm Charles Sarracino of the Terra Firma Party," the man explained, "We're marking the end of the First Contact War by making our voice heard by the alien appeasers in the Presidium. Can I count on your support in the next election? I must say, your interview with Ms Wong was just magnificent. It showed just what is wrong with the Council, and why humanity should go alone.

Feeling a bit steamrolled by that explanation, Shepard answered: "I don't think humanity can. Of course, that doesn't mean the Council is perfect. But I don't think isolationism would help. Look at what it has done to the batarians."

"Not enough yet," Saracino muttered.

"Well, I'll grant you that," Shepard answered with a grim humour. _So they're celebrating Armistice Day here. In their own way. Seems like everybody does. _ He gave Williams a short glance. _I just hope this doesn't get too uncomfortable for her. _He concentrated on Saracino again."So, Terra Firma?" He had heard about the party, of course. Every politically halfway educated human had. Their chairmen and candidates changed quicker then he could keep up with, and generally they were also too unimportant to do so, but he knew about the party at least. "Eh. If you really want to know my opinion on you then I can tell you that I think you have some right ideas, but most of your members seem to be little more than racists to me."

"Some of our members do hold extreme views, yes," Saracino said. _He gets a few points in grace for that. At least he didn't freak out at my frank opinion. But then, I guess he's used to that already. _"But which other party or faction stands up for humanity? Terra Firma believes that Earth must 'stand firm' against alien influences - politically, culturally, and in the worst case militarily!"

The 'culturally' part got Shepard's attention. "Cultural purism?" he asked. "That has never ended well in human history. I don't see why it should be any different for humans in galactic history. Personally, I don't think we should reject potentially very good ideas, just because others might have happened to have them first."

Saracino tilted his head. Shepard was somewhat impressed how he managed not to shot any aggressive glances or the like to his team of aliens. Either Saracino had himself very well under control, or unlike the majority of his party truly was not racist. "But you do agree that the aliens push humanity far too hard," he said. "You've basically said so yourself. So, somebody has to defend it."

"No disagreement there," Shepard stated. He could not quite agree with Terra Firma as a whole, but he could agree purely with that statement, at least.

However, now Garrus spoke up: "It's not unreasonable, but you make this a point of race, not politics."

_Oh, this is going to get interesting._

"Excuse me," Saracino said to Garrus and waved his hand dismissively, "but I don't think human politics are any of your concerns."

"Turian space borders yours," Garrus justified himself, "Of course we're concerned about your leadership!"

"What the Alliance does affects everybody around it," Liara supported the turian.

Seeing how Saracino's face darkened, Shepard intervened. He turned toward the squad and said: "Let's not make this a riot, people," Turning back to Saracino, he continued: "She's right though, Mr Saracino. We live in this galaxy. We can't pretend what we do will affect nobody else."

"No, of course not," Saracino conceded, "My apologies. I only meant to point out that other species have no rights to interfere in Alliance politics."

Before Shepard could reply, Williams spoke up now. She sounded aggressive, but then she quite often did: "Then let _me_ say it. Terra Firma started out with noble goals, but these days it's all about racism."

"You exaggerate the issue," Saracino defended himself, "I do disagree with our more extreme members, but I won't silence them. They have a right to their opinion. However, they're only a minority anyway. Our platform is also supported by economists, sociologists and medical professionals."

"That's not enough, though, in my opinion," Shepard replied, "I mean, you're right about some things. Some people would just like to forget about Shanxi and the crimes committed against humanity there. But -"

"Ah, with all due respect, Commander..." Garrus interrupted him, but then apparently had not enough courage to finish.

Instead, Alenko intervened now, in his usual role as a voice of reason: " What happened in the First Contact War was a misunderstanding. If you saw a child handling a gun, wouldn't you take it away from him, too?"

"I would take the gun away. I wouldn't shoot the child," Saracino argued.

"Besides, the Alliance wasn't bound by Council rules back then, we were not yet an associate member" Shepard supported him, "Their rules didn't apply to us. We had every right in the galaxy to open that relay."

"A very good point. Commander," Saracino lauded him, "You see, I'm running for one of the five space seats in Alliance Parliament. Franchise rules for it are very complex, but you'd apply. So, can I count on your vote? So that people won't forget Shanxi."

"Oh stop it about Shanxi already," Williams blurted out, "Were you there? If not, shut your piehole"

"Easy there... Chief," Shepard said. He had wanted to call her by her name, but had realized in time that given the surroundings and circumstances, announcing her as a Williams on an Armistice Day rally might not have been the wisest thing to do. _It does seem to get uncomfortable for her now. I can understand her. _"It's not worth it."

"True, skipper," Williams agreed, "His kind rarely is."

"I can assure you, I'm only interested in the betterment of humanity," Saracino claimed. Shepard thought his voice already had gotten somewhat more cutting. "We all serve that goal one way or another, soldier or not. You, Commander, do so in battle. I do so by informing the public why they should support you."

"Among my people, everyone is a soldier," Garrus remarked, "Even the infirm volunteer to serve behind the frontlines."

"Ah, I..." Saracino began. Clearly, that argument had somewhat impressed him.

It did not impress Shepard, though: "With all due respect, Garrus, but personally I don't find militarism all that admirable. Of course, I recognize that this might be different among your people. But in my opinion it's not something one should be able to score points with concerning human politics." He added in a rather venomous voice: "Of course, Mr Saracino, you did seem impressed enough by his comment."

"Terra Firma certainly does see the value in a strong and honoured military," Saracino said. "To defend ourselves."

"Your platform is a hodgepodge of excellent points and repugnant ideas," Shepard summarized, "I'm sorry, that' why I certainly couldn't vote for you. Maybe if your party finally got its act together and expelled the racists. But certainly not before. Humanity needs to stand strong in the face of other races - but that shouldn't make us blind to the benefits of cooperation. I can tell you, Mr Saracino, aliens _can_ be friends. There here are mine. And no, we shouldn't forget about the crimes committed against us, but we damn well should take care to keep this a point of justice, not racism."

Saracino did not seem very impressed: "A stirring speech, Commander. But I don't think you'll find much support for your positions among the established parties."

"That's all too true," Shepard admitted, "Still, I can't support you while half your party consist of racists."

"That's too bad," Saracino commented, "Can I at least ask you for a public statement of support for my candidacy? As a way to push your views and make them public."

"Sorry," Shepard apologized, "You have the right to your opinion, Mr Saracino, and the right to use political means to support it - but I disagree with it. I won't vote for you and I won't support you."

"I understand," Saracino stated, "I'm glad you support the democratic process at least. Thank you for your time, Commander. Remember Terra Firma on election day, because Terra Firma remembers you!" And with that, he turned to his followers again.

Shepard looked at his squad, shrugged, and continued walking towards Flux.

"Commander," Garrus spoke up after a while. Shepard had not expected him to remain silent, "do you really think what you've said about Shanxi."

Shepard stopped, sighed, and addressed Garrus: "I do. What the Hierarchy did there against us was a crime. However, unlike Terra Firma, that doesn't mean I'd hate turians out of principle. But the _Hierarchy_ did wrong. It attacked us out of the blue and its soldiers indiscriminately killed civilians on Shanxi."

"Well, they operated according to turian doctrine, both in attacking any race opening unchartered primary relays, and in the treatment of civilians," Garrus replied. He sounded rather awkward.

"I don't think that justifies anything," Shepard stated. "If we go by that logic, than the krogan were just following their own doctrine when they tried to conquer the galaxy. There's right and there's wrong, and what the Hierarchy did was wrong."

Garrus remained silent for a while. Then he remarked: "You're a man of strong convictions, Commander. I respect that. I don't agree with you entirely, but maybe you're right in that even the Hierarchy might need some reforms."

"I wouldn't have expected you to agree with me," Shepard said. "It's enough if we can understand where each other comes from, I think."

"Oh, I certainly can," Garrus stated.

"As can I," Shepard agreed. "So, hence I hope this disagreement won't create any hard feelings between us."

"No, Commander," Garrus confirmed, "It's better to meet somebody with concepts of justice you disagree with than meeting somebody with no concepts of justice at all."

Shepard grinned and padded Garrus' shoulder. "Good. Then let's go."

Flux was a pretty spacious establishment, consisting of a restaurant area, a dancing area and a gambling area. All of it was well cared for, tidy and glamorous. It was expensive, but the owner, Doran, a volus, made sure that they customers got their money's worth.

Tali had been right: The group did stand out, especially as soon as Wrex joined them. Krogan and quarians were rare enough in the better parts of the Citadel. To see one of each, plus an asari, a turian and three humans, all armed, was indeed highly unusual and drawing attention. However, Shepard managed to ignore the odd looks they received from everybody.

Wrex joined the conversation in the middle of a further small political debate.

"Just too bad what Terra Firma has become," Williams remarked. "Surely there must be some people out there who are not racist bigots yet also don't want the aliens dictating to us!"

"I don't think they even want to," Alenko disagreed. "I don't think we should assume the worst of them. I mean, it's only been twenty-six years since First Contact, that's not a long time to get to understand them."

"Twenty-six years in which they've held us back time after time," Williams remarked, "And yet we are in full make-nice modus."

"I don't think you can call Udina's antics that," Alenko said, "But in any case, I'm a soldier, just as you are. I have to believe our superiors can tell foes from people simply disagreeing with them."

"I think many of the Council's actions go way beyond mere disagreement," Williams stated, "Just think of the sanctions after the Sidon Incident!"

"Yes, but what about the Sidon Incident itself?" Alenko asked. "If the Alliance misses its chances then it's because of people like those who instigated that project, or people like Udina - not because the aliens are holding us back."

Shepard watched the argument with great concentration. Having Williams' and Alenko's political opinions meet was quite fascinating. He was about to speak up when instead a very low, dark voice commented dryly: "No, she's right, it's all my fault"

Wrex took the remaining free seat at the table and looked at Williams. She made a dismissive hand gesture and leaned back, causing the rest of the group to grin.

Now that everybody was there, and all except Wrex had drinks, Shepard began: "Right, enough banter. There's a reason I called for this meeting after all. If it can be called that. Thing is, does anybody have the slightest idea what to do now?"

"We could just wait for the next geth attack," Alenko pointed out, "but that wouldn't be very productive. Ideally we should manage to _prevent_ the next potential geth attack."

"What about Noveria?" Williams asked. "I thought we had a lead there."

"We do," Garrus said, "But this might not be the best time to use it. I, ah, got access to the logs of Port Hanshan, Noveria's main space port. In the last years, Benezia visited it several times, always as Saren's plenipotentiary. And her visits are getting more frequent." He looked awkwardly at Liara. "It might be best to wait for her next visit, so we can catch her."

"I understand," Liara assured him, "Benezia is... has become an important ally of Saren. It would be helpful to us if we could capture her." Quieter she added: "Maybe we could also help her then." And more decisive again: "However, the main priority would be getting her knowledge about Saren's activities."

"That makes sense," Shepard judged, "but we have no idea when Benezia will next visit Noveria, do we?"

"No, of course not, Commander," Garrus admitted, "Unfortunately. I have uploaded programs onto the Port Hanshan systems, so I'll get an alert as soon as Benezia arrives again. But of course they can't predict when this will be next."

"So, can we afford to wait for that?" Shepard asked again.

"I don't think we can, skipper," Ashley advised, "We have no idea just what Saren wants to do with that 'Conduit', exactly. It's well possible he finds it next week, and poof - Reapers. We can't risk that."

"On the other hand, if we go to Noveria now and find nothing we're destroying the only potential lead we have," Garrus cautioned.

"The entire problem is that we have far too less information," Alenko said, "So securing ways to gain information should be our top priority. I hence agree with Garrus. We should use Noveria to get Benezia."

"Great," Williams scoffed, "and what do we do in the meanwhile? Sit on our arses? Fiddle while Rome burns?"

Garrus looked confused at the cultural reference, causing Shepard to smile slightly. "Both points have their merit," he stated. "Getting a chance to capture Benezia should be our priority, but we can't invest too much in it. Williams is right, nobody is served if we do nothing. So, I'll give it a week, say. If we haven't found any other clue until then, we'll go to Noveria, whether Benezia is there or not. Or does anybody disagree here?"

"It's your call, skipper..." Williams began.

"Obviously, but I'm looking for input here!" Shepard declared.

"So, what are we going to do in that week?" Williams asked.

Shepard shrugged. "I know one or two things I could turn my attention towards. It would essentially be keeping ourselves busy, but that's why I'd limit that to a certain amount of time."

"It sounds like a good compromise," Alenko said, "Williams is right, we can't just wait for eternity for something that might not even happen, but we can wait some time on the hope of getting a better result."

Shepard raised his glass, a non-alcoholic drink, and grinned. "I drink to that. So that seems settled." He took a sip and shrugged again. "Any other issues anybody wants to bring up?"

There were some issues. For example, Alenko brought up the status of the other marines and Garrus reminded the Commander again to take care of a Engineering schedule that would leave people over to also take care of maintaining the Mako. However, as time went on, the conversation became less serious and official, and more friendly banter and tales telling.

Everybody seemed to be in good spirits. Garrus and Alenko seemed a bit awkward at times, but both were loosening up, as was Liara, who had been somewhat quiet in the beginning. On the other hand, Williams and Wrex were as boisterous in their tales and banter as expected, while Tali could score points with her humorous dry remarks.

They all held back with the alcohol, though. There was no telling how quickly they would have to leave the Citadel again, so they might need a clear head. Besides, Shepard still had another appointment this evening.

"..so I simply threw the turian at the group. Hit them square, they all fell down. I could pull a gun to me and escape," Wrex was just finishing up a story.

"I do see why we have him on the team," Tali remarked.

Williams laughed. "See, that's how it's done!" she proclaimed loudly. "Don't you agree Shep?" She paused. "Err, I mean..."

Shepard laughed. "Now, that's language progression. 'Shep' now?"

"Uh... I mean, Shepard. Commander." Williams corrected herself.

"Shepard-Commander?" Shepard laughed again. "Well, that's certainly unique. I don't think I've ever been called that, or that I will ever be called that again."

"I didn't mean to..." Williams began.

However, Shepard interrupted her: "Don't sweat it. It's no problem... Will." He grinned.

The squad laughed, and Williams harrumphed. "Okay, don't ever call me that again, skipper. Ashley, Williams, Chief, but please not 'Will'."

Shepard shrugged. "Okay, Ashley."

"Ah..." Ashley made unsurely.

"Oh come on, I think we all have been together through enough fights to go to first name base," Shepard declared.

"If you truly have no problem with that it works for me," Kaidan said, "but expect it to take some time for me to get used to it."

"I think I'll opt out of that," Garrus refused, "There's probably just too much ingrained turian hierarchical training in me."

"It's only fair enough," Wrex said, "You never once called me Urdnot, either. Though 'Shepard' has a certain sound to it. Your first name is kinda lame."

"Why thank you, Urdnot," Shepard joked flatly.

"Very well, Jonathan," Liara said. "Maybe it's time to synchronize addresses to personal names. After all, you call your entire Spectre entourage by personal names already."

"She has a point there, Jon," Tali agreed.

Williams raised an eyebrow at that. _She must've noticed how causally Tali has already used my first name. I wonder who else did._

"It is a good point indeed," Kaidan joined the consensus, "so I'll join that 'address standardization', too." He grinned at using the term.

"Oh fine," Ashley said. "We're one big happy family now where everybody uses everybody else's first name. Or second name in Wrex' case, but that amounts to the same."

Shepard laughed.

Ashley shot an overly 'hostile' glance towards him: "But don't think I'll forget this episode, skipper."

Shepard gulped in a jokingly exaggerated manner.

The conversation turned to other topics again. Everybody was still a bit unsure about using the humans' first names, including they themselves, but they gradually got the hang of it, and the talk became more lively. Tali especially seemed to get ever more enthusiastic, until she finally declared: "What are we all sitting here, anyway? The Flux seems to have a truly great dancing area."

"That sounds like fun," Wrex remarked. "Imagine how quickly the dancing floor would clear if I entered it. However, I'll pass."

"Yeah, that's not exactly my forte, either," Ashley said.

"Looking at the customers of the dance floor, I don't think they require highly sophisticated dancing skills here," Liara observed.

"It sounds like a great idea, in any case," Kaidan commented. "I'm in."

"Then let's go," Tali urged, "You, too, Liara?"

The three rose from the table and made their way to the dance floor.

Tali and Kaidan had the first dance, while Liara danced by herself. Shepard saw how the asari elegantly used her moves to reposition herself away from an all too direct admirer. It was a well executed and graceful maneuver. Meanwhile, Tali and Kaidan seemed to have found some common dance routine. Both actually looked very skilled in doing so.

"I never knew the LT, Kaidan, I mean, can dance so well, " Ashley remarked.

"Me, neither," Shepard agreed.

He wondered what it was like dancing like that with Tali. Last time he pretty much had rather only watched her (or maybe stared at her) rather than having joined in the dancing. He was not jealous of Kaidan or anything, that would have been highly silly, but he did wonder what it would be like to be in his place. _Well, one way to find out, isn't there?_

"Well, I can't let myself be outdone by him, now can I?" he asked Ashley rhetorically, and stood up.

He walked onto the dance floor and began to move. Truth be told, he had not done so in some years now. He probably was a bit rusty, and not doing all too well - however, as Liara had observed few people in Flux seemed to be dancing experts, so he did not stand out. He did not want to push Kaidan away, so at the beginning he danced alone.

Tali eventually spotted him and danced her way towards him.

He smiled at her rhythmic move and her graceful pose. He tried to match her movements, but he did not have much success in that. It did not matter, though. It was enjoyable to see Tali so lively in front of him, and to at least try to reach some synchronization with her. There was a certain fascination in trying to keep up with her, to move in accord with her.

He wondered if he had missed out on something the last years, or whether it was just her. He rather assumed the latter.

However, eventually Tali apparently just could not tolerate his insufficiencies any more. Her right arm reached out and slightly corrected the positioning of Shepard's left arm. Shepard was surprised, but after a while rather pleasantly so. She expanded her dancing aides to both his arms and his torso. Her three fingers always found the right spot to correct his position. Her fingers thus wandered all over his upper body, if only periodically so. It was not at all an unpleasant experience.

A new music track began to play. Shepard let his arm fall down at his side. Tali grabbed it decisively and brought it up again. He in turn grabber her arm. She looked up. He grinned. She looked down again. _I should control myself more, but that's at times rather difficult_. They let go of each other arms again.

He returned to making some rather uncoordinated movements that might pass for dancing in this environment. Two hands grabbed his shoulders. He was surprised that it were Tali's. She looked up, and there was something cocky in the gesture. He had no doubt that now she was grinning. Her hands slided down his arms, three strong, gloved fingers that grazed over his shirt. He faintly grinned himself now. Tali took hold of his lower arms, and he in turn now grabbed hers. In that position, they resumed to dance.

A small part of Shepard wondered how it might look to others, especially the squad, but by the largest part did not care and did not even think about it. The largest part of Shepard's mind was busy keeping hos body to move in tact with Tali's, and another large part just did not work at all, too captured by the moment.

Eventually, though, he was snapped out of it.

Kaidan was next to him, and practically shouted into his ears: "Ah, Shep... Jon. Emily Wong is here."

She was Shepard's other appointment for the evening. Now that he had returned to the Citadel, it was time for the longer interview proper. He stopped moving and looked somewhat sheepishly at Tali. She looked downward again, and both let go of each other. Shepard left the dancing floor, but not without looking over his shoulder constantly. Tali shortly after left the area as well.

Emily looked stunning. She was wearing an even more risque dress than last time he had seen her. Basically, it were just some stripes of cloth covering the important parts plus some more, but there were more holes between the stripes than stripes themselves. And all of it was held in flaming red, orange and yellow vying for attention.

Maybe for too much attention.

"Commander Shepard!" she called out as he came near her, "I..."

She did not finish. Could not finish anything any more.

A shot rang through Flux. People screamed and threw themselves at the ground. Shepard saw blood spilling from Emily's head. The reporter fell slowly down, as in a slow motion recording.

Shepard's instincts took over. He knew the phenomena from battle experience. _Bullet time._

He leaped towards the ground, too, rolled himself over and then ran in a covered position toward the next table. He threw the table over, so that it would face into the direction the shot came from, and then crouched behind it.

_Where is Tali, damnit?_

He looked frantically around. People were still moving surreally slow in his perception.

_There she is. _

In fact she came running towards him, around the by now emptied dance floor, jumping from make-shift cover to cover. She had a pistol drawn. He ran towards her.

"You brought a pistol along, too?" he asked. She just nodded. "I love your paranoia!" he exclaimed grinning and drew his own pistol.

"We need to get to the others," Tali said.

Shepard nodded, and began to move, followed by Tali. He rushed to his toppled table, but as he reached it he heard Tali shout: "Jon! Behind us!"

He whirled around. Some people he had though to be just normal visitors to the bar had banded together into a group. A group in an all together too well organized formation. They drew weapons and began to open fire. Tali, who had not yet reached the table, threw herself at the ground and responded the fire.

Several shots hit her.

"Tali, no!" Shepard shouted. He assumed she had brought a shield generator along, seeing as she had brought a weapon along. He had. However, it had been a hail of bullets, and he knew that potentially even a single bullet penetrating her envirosuit could be fatal to her.

_Fatal. To her. _

He was kneeling on one knee when he saw it. With an inarticulate roar he jumped up from his position and threw himself at the attackers. All humans, as he saw, about four or five people with rifles. While he had just a pistol.

He could maybe have defeated them, with the help of the others, had he stayed in cover. But he did not have the same time. The longer Tali would lie there with suit penetrations, the more likely was an infection, the more likely was a deadly infection. So, instead he charged against superior numbers and equipment.

He kept his roaring battle cry, while flickering, blue dark energy surrounded him. He formed it to a warp which he threw against his enemies. Immediately pain ran through his head. He had never experienced that before, but he ignored it. He was amazed at the scope of the warp: To his utter surprise, it seemed to affect them all. _That's utterly impossible. _

Of course he did not dwell on it. Instead he kept firing his pistol until it overheated to the point of nearly burning his hand after he had removed all security locks. He threw it away and instead picked up Tali's pistol to continue firing. Most of all, though, he used biotics. A constant storm of swirling dark energy seemed to surround him now, protecting him against all enemy fire and allowing him to toss his enemies aside without many problems.

All the while the pain in his head intensified. _Shit, shit, shit. _In another situation Shepard might have wondered what this was, but now he was too busy. Enemies fell down around him, but he could hardly pay attention to that anymore as the headache grew ever stronger.

A shot pierced through his biotics and shields. _The sniper. _He turned around and saw a movement behind one of the Quasar gambling machines. He sent out his biotic energy and lifted the sniper, a salarian surprisingly, into the air, where a hail of bullets riddled him. However, that sent Shepard over the edge.

The biotic maelstrom around him faltered, and his vision began to gray out. His head seemed to nearly explode in pain. _Is that what Alenko is feeling constantly? _Shepard wondered.

Then everything became black.


	18. Ch18: Normandy Scenes

Light fell on Commander Shepard's eyes. He opened them. He lay on his back, and did not recognize the ceiling above him at first.

Immediately, he was near-fully awake, a reflex born out of combat experience. He did not move though, a further reflex: Doing so might draw unwanted attention in a hostile environment. Instead, he looked at his surroundings with as few movements as necessary.

_The sick bay. I'm on the _Normandy_. _

He relaxed, but only slightly. Memories came back.

_Flux... Emily Wong, shot... I entered combat..._

A wave of pain raced through his head, forcing him to let out a short, quiet groan.

_I had such pain at Flux, too._

If he recalled the pain there correctly the one now was lesser, but that still did not make it any pleasant. He still felt as if small men constantly worked on his brain with hammers.

Another memory hit him.

_Tali, gunned down. _

He looked around again, this time more frantically. He was one the bed closest to the entrance. Ashley lay on the bed in the middle. Her presence surprised Shepard; he had not seen her in the battle. She seemed to sleep. The bed on the other side of the room from him was surrounded by a green curtain. Subdued sounds came from there.

_Tali. It must be her. They're performing a surgery on her._

At least that meant she was not dead. However there was no telling how bad she had been hurt.

Shepard knew he could do nothing, and he had nobody to address his questions to, either. Everybody should concentrate on saving Tali, that had utmost priority over his morbid curiosity. However, that meant that all he could do was to lay in his bed and watch the ceiling, head continuing to hurt, unsure what had happened to him, not knowing whether Tali would make it, and condemned to inactivity. He did not even dare move too much as to not distract the people involved in Tali's surgery.

_And damn, will that headache ever go away?_

Even though he had been woken by light, he noticed that it was actually fairly dimmed. The windows of the sick bay had been darkened, too. While there were several sources of light in the room, it was actually semi-dark. Shepard became painfully aware of that when the door opened and somebody stepped in.

Further stings of pain hit his head.

"Are you all right?" a whispered voice asked. _Kaidan's voice. _

"I... not really," Shepard admitted in a likewise quiet voice.

"I understand," Kaidan answered. Shepard could see him more clearly now. He stood beside his bed. "But I think you have some questions you want answered."

"I do," Shepard confirmed. "What about Tali? I assume it's her they're working on over there?"

"Yeah," Kaidan replied, "In fact it's her second surgery already. Chakwas started the first one, an emergency surgery, right after we had managed to reach the ship. Now she's trying a more extensive surgery on her."

_Why are we on the _Normandy, _anyway?_ But instead Shepard asked a question that weighted on his mind far heavier: "And how... how are her chances?"

Kaidan looked him straight into the face: "She hasn't quite made it yet. Chakwas told me her chances are good, but she isn't fully out of risk yet." He paused. "There were... complications. With her immune system. Faster than usually after a suit breach, or so Chakwas said. She seems to have read up on quarian health issues."

"So...?" Shepard prompted.

"We just don't know," Kaidan admitted softly, "Chakwas foresaw that you'd have questions about Tali's case, so she briefed me thoroughly before starting the second surgery, so that I could relay everything to you - but while she thinks Tali has good chances, she doesn't know."

Shepard let all tension escape from his body, and slumped down deeper into the bed. _They don't know whether she'll make it. _He wanted to close his eyes, shut out the world, and simply wait for the result, good or bad - but he knew he could not do so. He had responsibilities. Even quieter than before he asked: "Why are we here anyway, and not in some Citadel hospital?"

"We... well, I thought this best," Alenko answered. "After you simply keeled over - after taking out a group of five people all by your own, it should be added - I took over command. Since we just had been hit by a sizable assassination squad I didn't think Citadel hospitals secure enough. And besides, multicultural as the Citadel is I think Chakwas by now has educated herself on quarian physiology more than most Citadel doctors." He attempted a grim grin, but it faltered. "You, Tali, Ashley - you all had been hit and had to be transported to the dock. It was difficult."

"When was Ashley hit?" Shepard inquired.

"You were focused on the group at the dance floor," Kaidan explained, "but there was a second group who stormed our table. We were able to hold them off, but Ashley took quite a beating."

"What the hell happened there anyway?" Shepard demanded to know. And then something else came to mind: "And what about Emily Wong? How's she?"

"An assassination squad, or so we assume" Kaidan answered. "Emily was the first target. She didn't have a shield generator. She... She didn't make it."

_Fuck. Oh, dear god... _He had only had had two encounters with her, however he had no doubt she had died because of him. Because she had become associated with him. "ExoGeni?" he asked with a croaked voice. _Or the Council? They had reason to hate her, too - but they wouldn't target one of their own Spectres. Or would they?_

"More than likely," Kaidan agreed. He paused. "Maybe we should continue our talk outside, at the mess. Chakwas said you should be - not fine when you wake up, but healthy enough to leave sick bay."

Shepard did not really feel that way, but Chakwas was the medical professional, not him. And there was a surgery going on in the room. "Okay," he said. He rose from the bed quite awkwardly and with great effort. He noticed that he still was wearing the clothes he had worn on the Citadel.

Outside the sick bay, the ship's internal lights were at their usual luminance levels, but Shepard still felt as if they were burning their way right into his head. "Ugh," he made, and slumped his way to the mess table, where he let himself fall into a chair. "How is it that you suddenly appeared to answer all my questions anyway?"

"Dr Chakwas told me to, and I didn't feel like arguing with her," Kaidan answered. "You were under electronic medical observation, so I got a warning when you woke up. Chakwas knew that she'd be busy, and probably thought me best to tell you all these news." When Shepard did not answer to that, Kaidan continued: "Now, the problem with the ExoGeni theory is that it's very obvious. It could be other factions using that as cover. Cerberus for example."

Shepard shook his head. "Why would Cerberus need to frame somebody else? They don't have a name to keep clean. They're stealthy, but not in that way." _The Council, though, on the other hand... but really now, they'd have better methods to get things done, too. It must've been ExoGeni. _"I mean, yeah, it's damn obvious, but considering all the pressure ExoGeni is under at the moment... maybe somebody on the board cracked and ordered the hit. Out of panic and stress."

"C-Sec is on the case," Kaidan stated, "Their investigation will turn up the culprits."

Shepard shook his head again. "Damn. Emily. They killed her... for having aired material I gave to her, or for being an associate of mine... neither makes me feel any good."

"I think she knew the risks, Jonathan," Kaidan replied. "It's scant comfort, I know. But she knew the risks."

"I... yes," Shepard conceded. "I just... ah, nevermind." He wanted to say more, felt as if Emily deserved more to be said about her, but nothing came to mind. After an awkward pause he asked: "And what happened to me? I never had so much power behind my biotics, but damn, the pain. I assume that's somehow connected? Just what happened to me out there?"

"Dr Chakwas is unsure," Kaidan began with some slight hesitation. After a pause he continued: "She has theories, though, mostly due to her experience of working with me. What it boils down according to her is that your L3 implant effectively worked as L2 implant for a while."

"What?" Shepard asked. That did not make any sense to him.

"You know that L2s spike higher than L3s, normally," Kaidan explained. "You're an exception, but Dr Chakwas thinks that's more _despite_ the L3 than _because of _the L3. That is with an L2 you'd probably command even more biotic power."

"And that's what happened?" Shepard inquired.

"Dr Chakwas thinks so," Kaidan confirmed. "L2s cause complications because of two things: A general incompatibility with the brain's neural pathways, and lacking fine regulation. That's why L2s are stronger, they have no feedback mechanism when they power up more than the brain can take. Your L3 usually should have, but somehow that didn't work at Flux. Somehow, you pushed your biotic powers way beyond what the implant would usually allow for. Essentially, it hence acted like a L2. Or, like a neurally better adapted L2, that to such a degree that it practically overheated your brain and you blacked out."

Shepard remained silent for a while to absorb this information. "I thought my head would explode at Flux," he said, "and even now the headaches won't go away. So is this..." he trailed off.

"Yes," Kaidan confirmed, "It's what I have. Your headaches now, that is. At least that's what it sounds like."

"And you live constantly with it?" Shepard asked.

"It's not like I have a choice," Kaidan explained, "except, well - we talked about that."

They had. And it had not ended very well. So Shepard was quick to drop the topic again. He remained silent.

"Dr Chakwas asks you to not repeat the feat again, in any case," Kaidan continued after a while. "As far as she can tell there's no permanent neural damage. That's why you could leave sick bay. You'll probably still have those headaches for a few days, but most likely there won't be any constant effects remaining. However, Dr Chakwas said she couldn't guarantee that the next time you try it."

"As if I could control it!" Shepard replied, "I didn't even know what had happened to me." He sighed. "This all is a lot to absorb. An assault on us on the Citadel, Emily's dead, Tali is still in risk of dying, my implant acting up... I think that all will take some time to sink in. I need some more rest. If anybody needs to know, I'll be in my cabin."

And with that, he rose again from the table.

…

Shepard did not know why he was here.

After all, it was unlikely Tali would wake up right now. All the procedures performed on her would boost her body's self-regenerating powers, as most medical activities did these days. However, that meant that essentially things were now up to her and her body, and while Chakwas thought it very unlikely by now that she would relapse, her struggle was not over yet. And he could do nothing to contribute.

Yet, as he looked down at her lifeless appearing form, he knew at least that he could not just go away. Wrapped up in an envirosuit as it was, her body still appeared delicate to him. And he knew the person inside it, of course. A person that, even while unconscious, he could not simply leave alone. He knew it was silly how she triggered his protective instincts now (and he realized it was just that) - it was not like he could do anything to protect her right now, and in battle she could very well hold her own. Had he walked after her at Flux, instead of the other way round, most likely it would have been him who would have been gunned down. Not only was he not able to protect her from all the evils of the galaxy, it would also be insulting to her. Still, as he looked at her he could not help but feel an irrational desire to do so.

He wondered what his crew thought. It was probably very obvious by now just how often he entered the sick bay, and the rumour mill would spread the reason quickly enough. And the rumours would probably evolve and develop starting from there. That was not exactly a pleasant thought. _But then, when have I ever truly cared what others would think about me? _

After all, it was not like he was abandoning his duties. In fact the recent days had been rather busy, despite his headaches. He had turned over Dr Wayne to C-Sec, which was not only the security agency for the Citadel but could also act as the Council's general police force. And he had given the encrypted Cerberus data found on Nepheron to Barla Von, the financier and local top agent of the Shadow Broker - and to every intelligence agency that would listen besides, foremostly the turians. Ironically, the salarians' aptitude for intelligence had worked against them in this case; many had been too distrustful of data just gifted to them. However, even among that race he had found intelligence services to give the data to. He had also given it to asari (an unofficial 'intelligence service' that was more the circle around a powerful matriarch, but it would serve), hanar and elcor (though he was pretty sure the elcor would simply store it in the vast archives on their homeworld and forget about it).

He also had worked with C-Sec. He had given them his testimony, and in return had received an optical disk of Emily's, labeled by her as being meant for him. Normally, C-Sec would still have retained it for now as a piece of evidence, but given Shepard's Spectre status that routine had been wavered. The data on the disk had been heavily encrypted, but was accessible by a voice test accepting his own voice.

It had made him very sad to watch the message on the disk. Emily clearly had not believed to be in actual danger of death. She had collected the files on the disk for that eventuality, but in the message on it addressed to him she had made jokes about that and belittled the possibility. The message even said how silly she felt for acting like a secret agent in one of those vid. _She knew the risks, eh? Doesn't sound so to me..._ At least the disk was useful. It contained a large list of contacts in the media world, both humans and asari. Thus, Shepard was now at least still able to get material made public if he so wanted. But at the moment, that was small comfort, if at all.

And finally on his last tour to the Citadel, he had bought one of those visors Garrus used, or a version of it made for humans, anyway, just as he had said he would do. So now he could record things on his own, without needing Garrus at his side any more. Not that having him at his side was bad, but it was better to be independent if need be.

Every one of those tours had been short, with a clear purpose in mind, and under heavy protection. Shepard was not taking any risks any more. And afterward, he had always come to visit to the sick bay.

He knew his visits were not very productive. _What do I do? Look at Tali. And worry. _And worry he did. _The price of emotional attachment. And all due to feelings we can never live out anyway. _No matter how much he wanted to.

If Dr Chakwas thought anything about his visits she kept it to herself. Liara, who had made herself at home in the sick bay's storage room, did not say anything either. And if the crew talked about it, which Shepard was pretty sure they did, then at least nothing had reached him yet. The Commander was thankful for all those things.

However, just as he was about to enter the next round of morbid thoughts, Kaidan entered the sickbay.

"Still no change?" he asked.

"No," Shepard replied shortly.

"The ship has reached word from the Council," Kaidan said, "they want to talk to you."

"At the Tower?" Shepard asked.

"No, you can take their call on the ship," Kaidan answered. "I wonder what it's about this time. The Council has not been very supportive after all. All the alien species are so wrapped up in their own problems..."

Shepard shrugged. "I know. But it's not like we can do anything about it. It's a fact to work around."

Kaidan chuckled lightly. "That sounds odd coming from you. Ah, with all due respect, but..."

"I know what you mean," Shepard assured, "must be your influence on me." He sighed. "Or yours and hers." He pointed to Tali. "In any case, we should be used by now how the Council act. It's, well - 'human nature', basically."

"Hah, yeah, I suppose that translates very well across species borders," Kaidan agreed.

"Well, I guess I can't let the Council wait," Shepard sighed. "Thanks for relaying the message."

Shepard wondered how a Lieutenant had become a courier, anyway. Or why CIC had not simply commed him. _They knew where I was. Somebody thought it better to be careful with my sensibilities. _He did not know what to think about that. It made him feel unsure, in any case.

He was tense as he walked to the conference room. _I wonder what the Council wants from me now. _Maybe it had something to do with the shoot-out at Flux. Knowing the Council, he probably would have to justify himself for that, even though he had been the attacked party. _Eh, I guess I'll find out sooner than I'd care to._

He was only all too right. The holographic terminal got a signal mere seconds after he had entered the room, and images of the three Councillors appeared. And they did not seem to be in a good mood.

"Shepard, do you think us stupid?" the turian Councillor began.

_What the hell? _was the first thing that came to Shepard's mind, _Yes _was the second thing and then, thirdly: _What did I do wrong _now _? _He remained silent and waited. _Oh and yes, I'm fine, by the way, thanks for asking. _

"It seems like I was right," the turian continued: "You do in fact not know any sense of duty. Only a primal desire for revenge befitting to your species' level of development."

_They know about my relationship to Cerberus. They must've dug into my past. _That thought angered him, but he merely raised an eyebrow.

"We know what you did was not due to a conviction of duty to the Council," the salarian Councillor explained. "If it were, you wouldn't have sent the data you had acquired to every intelligence service with a presence on this station."

"So we searched for the real reasons you did it," the asari Councillor went on, "We discovered your relationship with Service Chief Sarah Schäfer years ago. We know that she committed suicide over what had happened on Akuze. And we know Cerberus engineered the Akuze incident."

"The only thing you want is revenge," the turian Councillor accused Shepard. "That's the only conviction you seem to have. Hence your hostility towards us, too. As shown by your interview with Emily Wong and your appearance at the rally of those human racists, Terra Firma - you want revenge for Shanxi against the turians, and revenge for Akuze against Cerberus! And you're willing to use us, the Council as a mere tool in that."

_Wait what? _The turian Councillor was right about his desire for revenge against Cerberus, and his willingness to use the Council as a mere tool in that, but the rest - _He must really hate me to delve into such theories._

"That isn't true," he answered, "but I suppose I won't be able to convince you otherwise anyway. So how about that: It doesn't matter for what reason I did what. The fact remains there were living rachni in Cerberus facilities, and Cerberus was conducting experiments on them. Yes, I do want revenge against Cerberus, though I'd rather call it getting justice done. Doesn't matter, though - call it revenge if you like. In any case, it coincides with your interests to keep the rachni dead, and to eliminate anybody who might work on rachni. Our interests may have different motivations, but they converge."

"You do not get to treat the Council as your equals!" the turian shouted, "You're free to have interests, but in your work as Spectre you're pursuing _our_ interests."

"Well, I did," Shepard defended himself. "Does the motivation really matter? The fact still does remain there are living rachni out there, and that without me going after Cerberus, nobody would have found out, or only when it would've been too late!"

"That's true, Commander," the salarian confirmed, "but it makes a difference in our evaluation of you."

"And as you know you've been skirting the line for a while now," the asari continued, "So it's important for us to get a clear picture of you. You're not helping your cause by letting yourself be guided by revenge, rather than a sense of duty."

"I maintain it makes no difference, but very well, that's your decision," Shepard answered, "So what now?"

"You have in fact been the Spectre who discovered living rachni," the salarian explained. "We recognize that. As such we want to keep you updated on the matter. There have been reports in the Styx Theta cluster, about attacks by unknown creatures. We now can strongly assume those were attacks by rachni. It might be Cerberus' 'source' of rachni is in that cluster."

"Understood," Shepard replied with narrowed eyes. _The Council doesn't give orders to its Spectres. That would prevent plausible deniability. It merely 'informs' them. That was such an 'information'. _"Thank you for your update, Councillor."

"Remember, Shepard: We're still watching you closely," the turian Councillor stated. And with that the holograms faded.

000000

Slowly, senses were returning to Tali. She could feel her gloves, and light shone through her visor. She was waking up.

_Am I awake for good now?_

She half remembered drifting in and out of sleep, and probably unconsciousness, for a long time. Her memory of that period was hazy, though, and she could not recall anything precise.

She felt awful, but that was to be expected. She still remembered there had been surgeries done on her. Of course she would not get away without an infection. However, this time she seemed to be hit extra hard: Her head ached, her belly felt uneasy, all her joints were sore, and thinking was difficult.

She moved her head slightly. A sound of surprise could be heard, which in turn startled her. Turning her head, she saw Shepard's... _Jon's..._ face.

"Tali," he said softly and still surprised, "How do you feel?"

"I've felt better," she admitted weakly, "but also worse." _Not often, though. Maybe twice or thrice right after being gunned down..._

"Don't move," Shepard said. She had not. "Do you remember what has happened?"

"Only unclear images," Tali replied, "The last thing I remember clearly is... we were at Flux." _Dancing. Relatively closely. _"Afterward it's all a blur. We were attacked, weren't we?"

"Yes," Shepard answered. "You were hit hard. Several bullets pierced your suit." She saw how he clenched a hand to a fist and quickly relaxed it again. "During the last days Dr Chakwas had to perform three surgeries on you. There had been... complications. You had become infected and it had threatened your internal organs."

_Seems like it was a close call indeed. _Tali had no intention of dying, but as a quarian she was used to living merely a hull breach away from death all the time anyway. Shepard sounded like he had been worried, though.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"The _Normandy _has just entered the Argos Rho cluster," Shepard answered. "The Council had tasked me to find the source of Cerberus' rachni in the Styx Theta cluster. There were rachni in Styx Theta, but it appears they had come on a supply ship from the Sigma-23 depot. And that's in Argos Rho. Besides, Wrex has asked me to recover his family armour for him."

"His... family armour?" Tali asked, somewhat amused. She was still weak, but that sounded funny."Well, we're in the region anyway."

"Indeed," Shepard confirmed, "and it's only fair. I, ah, tried to 'recover' Dr Saleon for Garrus, now I'll recover that family heirloom of Wrex' for him. He sounded rather dismissive about it, actually, but you know him. I think it actually means much to him."

"You should start a business" Tali suggested in jest. " 'Shepard Recovery Services'. "

Shepard smiled faintly. "I'll consider it. Might help me finance all those weapons they make me buy myself."

Tali always had that found horribly inefficient and stupid, too. But then, the quarians on the Fleet did not use money, period, so maybe she was just unaccustomed to it. However, there was another, more important issue on her mind: "And you've been here all the time?"

"Ah..." Shepard replied, "well..." He rubbed his back head. "Not the entire time. I was on missions in Styx Theta, and I had to keep the ship running, of course. But, uh, I guess, I did come to here rather often. Still pure dumb luck that you've woken up during one of those visits, though."

_It's good to have somebody caring about one. _Part of her worried whether the exercise of his duties might have suffered under his regular visits, a concern that was a natural result of her upbringing aboard the Migrant Fleet. However, according to himself it had not, and she had no reason to doubt that account.

Most of all, though, she was surprised. She knew already that Shepard was not indifferent about her, but he must have been worried quite a bit. "I won't complain about that luck," she said. "Do you know what's supposed to happen with me now?" She felt a deep sleepiness coming up in her again, but she wanted to know that much, at least.

"Not much, I'm afraid," Shepard replied. "Chakwas said that you're..." He hesitated and seemed to cringe slightly. "That you're out of any danger to your life now. But you need rest. So you'll be bound to this bed for a week at least or so, I'm afraid."

_A week of inactivity? _In modern times of quick healing processes that was half an eternity, and to her it fully was an eternity. She already had enough problems with having nothing to do as it was. These problems had eased as she got to know the crew better, and socialized with them, but she always felt a bit uneasy when she had the suspicion of having worked too few. And now she would not work at all for an entire week! Or do anything else, for that matter. After the stress of recent months that could be seen as welcome break (if at a high price), and she did feel tired at the moment, but Tali suspected she'd get sick of it rather sooner than later.

However, as it was, she _was _sick. Her whole body seemed to ache. She supposed it made sense not to risk too much activity now. Still, she weakly protested: "I think I'm more afraid of that prospect than you are."

"I have no trouble believing that," Shepard said with a smile. However, that smile vanished and he said more seriously: "We nearly lost you, Tali. You should really take care to get healthy again. That has higher priority than any work at Engineering or ground missions or whatever."

He looked right at her, and she looked back. She had already gotten a good chance for a long look into his eyes at Flux. They had been more lively back then, but now they seemed more... _deep, in a way._ It was difficult for her to even only mentally formulate the difference, though - as a rule, quarians could only rarely look into each other eyes.

"I understand," she answered seriously. "And you're right."

To remember Shepard so close at Flux, and to see him caring so deeply now - she did not dare hope what this could mean.

Shepard attempted a grin again. "Just see it as discharging duty. Just that your duty is your recovery now."

"You won't get any 'as a quarian' or 'comes with being a quarian' lines out of me any more, you know that, right?" Tali asked mocking.

"It was a worth try," Shepard claimed smiling. His face darkened. "I... I was worried, Tali. About you. Losing you, that is. I mean, I was really lucky to encounter you in the course of my mission. I had much luck with the crew in general, of course, but..." He stopped. "Well, I didn't want to lose a friend," he continued.

"I'm still here, Jon," Tali assured him. She did not want to be a source of distress to him. That she could be such, though - if Tali had not been so very tired, she probably would have been very excited right now.

"I see that," Shepard answered smiling. "I just... wanted to tell you that, before I have to go for now. I fear my free time watch is soon at an end." He rose from the chair he had sat on. "It's good to see you've made it," he declared, and turned to go.

Tali hesitated slightly, but then called out: "Jon." He stopped. "I... I know what you mean. If you were the one lying here, I would feel the same."

Shepard still had his back to her, but his head moved slightly as if he was chuckling. "I know," he said softly. And left the room.

Tali remained behind - amazed at that conversation, and by the questions of what it meant. _Does it really mean... ? _She did not manage to form a further coherent thought before sleep claimed her.

000000

There was no concept of day or night aboard ships, especially not on military ships. There were only watches. Still, Shepard felt like it was evening after a successful day at work. Most of the squad had a free watch now, he would soon meet with them, and the day had been productively spent by recovering Wrex' family armour.

He had to give it to Arctus Tonn, the turian 'collector' of krogan items from which they had recovered the armour: Tonn had been really dedicated to his collection. He had defended it to the death. That had been some hours ago. In the meantime, Shepard had gotten rid of his armour, showered, eaten, the usual after a mission - and had paid a visit to Tali. She still was too weak for all too long talks, but signs of her recovery were very obvious.

He was just leaving the sick bay. In the mess hall, Kaidan had already grabbed a seat and was now waiting on everybody else who was still too meet there. Shepard nodded a greeting to him, but decided to go check on Wrex first. He was curious on what the krogan would do now with his family armour.

He found the mercenary at his usual location in the cargo. It was impossible to tell whether he was especially pleased or content or anything like that. Krogan facial expressions were an enigma to outsiders, and additionally Wrex nearly always maintained a facade of stoicism.

"Wrex," Shepard greeted him.

"Shepard," the krogan greeted back.

"So, have you stored your armour away?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Wrex answered. "It won't fall into turian hands again so easily any more."

"Good," Shepard commented, "What will you do with it now?"

"Carry it around with my other belongings," Wrex answered, "That's the only use it has."

"I'm glad to have helped you to a new piece of luggage," Shepard joked.

"An important piece of luggage," Wrex claimed, "I fulfilled my oath to my father´s father thanks to your help. I think I might just begin to like you."

Wrex was hardly what Shepard would call 'ideal' - a ruthless bounty hunter and mercenary who preferred violence to other solutions. But Shepard had experienced how difficult it was to truly get his respect. And now apparently he had it. That made him glad. Not that he would show it: "Good. Then I'll have at least somebody around who understand my jokes."

"If you want to test your jokes on me, then maybe I should rather return that armour to where we've found it," Wrex stated flatly.

Shepard laughed.

"But I like the armour better here," Wrex continued, "I still don't know why my ancestors wore that piece of crap, but they must have had some reason."

"Your family and ancestry seems to hold some importance to you," Shepard stated, "despite what you've told me."

"It's who I am," Wrex explained. "I'm krogan, I'm Urdnot, I'm part of my family. Even though I can stand nobody else in it, and even though all krogan I know are idiots."

"Yet you'd rather be a mercenary than help your people?" Shepard asked.

"What I also am is a fighter," Wrex answered, "so that's what I do." He paused. "Speaking of which, are we soon arrived at that bug depot?"

"Tomorrow, hopefully," Shepard answered. "Maybe then we can find out just what happened to those listening posts. And with some luck it's the source of Cerberus' rachni, too."

"Good," Wrex said, "They need to _stay_ dead."

"I don't think you'd feel so strongly about them if it hadn't been your people fighting them," Shepard commented, "And hell, just today you were complaining about how Tonn has made all his money buying and selling artifacts stolen from your people. So you can't tell me you aren't at all worried about the fate of the krogan."

"What the hell do you want me to do about it, Shepard?" Wrex countered. He still had not quite gotten around using the Commander's first name. "I'm tired of sticking my ass on the line and getting nothing for it."

"You got that armour back," Shepard disagreed, "That's something."

"Now. With your help," Wrex specified.

Shepard just shrugged. "It's a start. It took three generations, but eventually it's back in your family line. So maybe, _eventually_ you can do something about your people. From what you've told me you've been the only one to at least even _try._ So you might just be the best chance your people have."

"They're a lost cause," Wrex declared, "I'm not like you, Shepard. I'm no hero. I tried it once already. Only an idiot would think doing the same thing twice would result in a different result."

"Really?" Shepard inquired further, "You never thought of ever returning, or thought of trying again to help your people?"

"I try not to," Wrex answered, "But there's a lot of krogan mercs out there. I'm always running into them. Half the time I'm being paid to kill them. But that's just part of the don't get to pick who your enemies are." He paused. "If I were ever to try it again, I'd need something to fight for. Something standing in my favour. Otherwise, it would just end up like last time. Having my armour back is nice, but it won't serve for that."

"What would serve?" Shepard asked.

"I don't know," Wrex declared flatly. "Maybe there's nothing that will. Maybe my people simply are such a lost cause."

"That's a depressing thought," Shepard commented.

"That's why I try not to think about it," Wrex explained. "Besides, being a merc isn't so bad, so I can't complain. It's good work if it doesn't kill you. You get to see the galaxy on somebody else's credit, and most days end in a good fight. With you, even against rachni. So why shouldn't I be a mercenary?"

"So you distract yourself with your mercenary work, to get your thoughts away from your homeworld and people," Shepard concluded.

"Yes," Wrex just confirmed. "Tell me, with what enemies can I distract myself after we've defeated the bugs here?"

"If only I knew," Shepard sighed. "We should go to Noveria. Even if Benezia still isn't there, according to Garrus. On the other hand, we might also first take out those partners in crime of Helena Blake; that's what I originally had planned before the Council had called me up."

"Just tell me where to point my gun," Wrex said. He paused slightly and continued: "But I will think about what you've said."

"I can't ask for more," Shepard declared. "Me, I'll partake in an interesting little experiment now. So long, Wrex."

The Commander walked away from the krogan and stepped inside the elevator. He smiled. He was on the way to an experiment indeed.

Over the past weeks, and especially in recent days, the crew had become increasingly at ease with each other, even the members of the very diverse squad. It seemed that at long last they had become used to each other.

They had become comrades-in-arms. Maybe even friends, or maybe they would become friends. Thus, Shepard had invited Kaidan, Ashley, Garrus and Liara to meet him at the mess.

Ashley spotted him first: "There you are, skipper. Just for the record, I still think this is a bad idea."

Shepard merely raised an eyebrow while he seated himself.

"I mean, can you read Garrus' face?" Ashley continued. "What with all the bones there. Uh, no offence, Garrus."

Shepard grinned. He already had gotten the cards and begun to shuffle them. "You fear his poker face? Be glad Wrex isn't here. Or Tali. Heh, they definitely should join us if we do this again."

"I'd rather not think about that," Ashley said.

Garrus in the meanwhile had said nothing, politely holding back, but he was closely watching the conversation.

"Besides," Shepard went on, "for a cop, Garrus is very easy to read. No offence, Garrus, but how do you do interrogations? One look at your face and people know how you feel."

"And yet you entrust those jobs to me," Garrus replied. "I think that says more about your command skills than my interrogation skills."

Shepard laughed. "In any case that should compensate for any trouble with cross-species barriers. Just remember, Ashley, when he moves his mandibles, he has good cards."

"I've read up on poker," Liara spoke up, "Ashley told me we'd play 'Skyllian Five'. I just hope I can keep all of those rules in mind."

Ashley grinned at the asari. It was clear she considered her easy prey in the game.

"Don't worry," Kaidan replied, "I think we should go easy on the newbies anyway."

"Speak for yourself," Ashley replied.

"This is gonna be fun," Shepard commented and began to deal the cards.

...

Several hours later, Ashley cursed: "Shit. I'm out. I'm all out of imaginary money. And I thought I had to worry about Garrus' poker face!"

"Kaidan is rather difficult to read," Garrus agreed, "and Liara has decades training in memorizing everything. I'm out as well."

Shepard grinned and began to gather up the cards again.

000000

Tali walked through the corridors of the _Normandy. _She did not exactly try to hide, but she was rather glad nobody else seemed to be here. Or else people would have noticed just how often she visited this certain place of the ship. Not that there was anything wrong with visiting the Captain's cabin; the problem was the frequency. Daily at least, since she had been released from the sick bay three days ago.

_And if we quarians know one thing with certainty is that ship crews gossip - no matter whether there is something to gossip about or whether they need to invent something. I better don't... -_

"Hey, Tali," a voice interrupted her thoughts. "On the way to Jonathan again?"

Tali looked up abruptly. Kaidan was standing in front of her. He smiled surprised at her sudden reaction.

"Oh, hey, Kaidan," she said. She thought of something to say but then simply replied: "Yes, he's expecting me." She paused. "It might be good if this doesn't become common knowledge."

Kaidan tried to suppress his smile becoming wider. Tried and failed. He was clearly amused by the whole situation, but nonetheless determined to take it serious. "I understand. I will cover for you, if you want that."

"I'd appreciate it," Tali answered. _Just great. He suspects, too. _"I don't want any gossip to spread."

"Gossip?" Kaidan asked. "About what?"

_He's enjoying himself far too much. _However, she could not find an answer: "Ah..."

More seriously, Kaidan asked in a lower voice: "So you and Jon, huh?"

_Oh keelah. _"What makes you say so?" Tali managed to ask.

"It became rather obvious after your injury," Alenko explained. "Even before - well, it was pretty well known that whenever you two had shared free time to find the one you just had to find the other."

"People noticed that?" Tali asked. _Stupid question, of course they did. _"So they've been talking for a while now?"

"Not for all that long," Kaidan disagreed. He smiled, though it looked somewhat melancholic. "I think most people simply never saw the possibility for a long time. Even only the mere idea of, ah, interspecies relations is very rare for humans. We haven't been in contact to other species for very long, after all. There's still a lot we don't understand about non-humans, and so no matter how much time you spent with Shepard, many people would never have suspected it could be more than friendship."

"Many people?" Tali inquired.

"Maybe some did see the possibility," Alenko answered, "but if so, not many and if they told, they got dismissed. However, after your injury - Shepard was at your bedside nearly constantly. Well, that's exaggerated, but that's how many saw it. And he was worried about you, Tali, really worried. And now that it seems the close contacts continue, some people begin to notice this. Even me." He smiled self-deprecatingly.

"It's not like that," Tali replied in a resigned voice. "I'm... fond of him." She increasingly suspected that was mutual, but she did not fully dare to hope yet. In any case, even if that was so, it was not for her to tell. "But it would be a hopeless prospect. Since I'm stuck in this envirosuit and eventually have to return to my people, and as you said, interspecies relationships are rare and complicated as is."

"I understand what you mean," Kaidan said. "It's a lot of problems. But - have you talked about it with Jonathan at least?"

"I probably should," Tali admitted, "But that's easier said than done."

"I know," Kaidan said. "However, you should try to tell him. I don't know what could be done about the problems, but I think you and him would deserve some happiness. We all do. And there's some comfort at least in the certain knowledge that somebody cares about you."

Tali remained silent. What Kaidan had said was true, but it just was not that easy. Finally she said: "I don't think this is the best place for discussing such things."

"No," Kaidan agreed with a smile, "but if anybody has seen us they'll tell that you met me and not Jon, so that's something."

"I'll have to be content with that, it seems," Tali commented. She was about to turn and go, but then stopped and said: "Thank you, Kaidan. What you said wasn't exactly new insights, but - it's good to know somebody wants you to be happy."

"Just stating facts," Kaidan insisted, nodded in greeting and turned.

Tali realized that Kaidan was right. There was something between her and Shepard, and more to the point even though she would never have thought it possible, it seemed to be mutual. She was still a bit unsure on that, but that was large part of the reason why it should be discussed.

So far she and Shepard had always found something else to talk about. About what was happening on the ship, about the mission or about whatever else. Shepard could talk quite passionately about some things happening in the galaxy, and she could make a fitting snide remark about most topics, or entertain him with more tales from the Migrant Fleet. So far, all their talks had worked without the need to bring up the obvious.

But she knew that this was not productive, and that it even was somewhat cowardly. _Maybe I should talk about this now... _She stood in front of the cabin door. _Let's see if I'll be able to. _She sounded the door bell.

"Ah, Tali," Shepard greeted her after he had opened the door. "Ready for the tournament next watch? People already fear your poker face, even though you've never participated so far."

Shepard had told her about the two poker sessions that so far had taken place. In the first one, Kaidan and Liara had taken everybody by surprise and won most games. However, the second time Shepard had seemed to get a decent grip on his opponent's playing style, and had hence won most games himself.

"I wasn't even aware so far I have a poker face," Tali answered, "but I can see how my mask for once will grant me some benefits." She sat down on Shepard's desk chair. He himself already was sitting on his bed.

"One thing at least," Shepard said. He smiled, but his voice sounded oddly ponderous as he said so.

"So, a gaming session with three humans, a krogan, an asari and a turian," Tali commented, "I wouldn't have thought my pilgrimage would include that when I set out to it."

"Good," Shepard judged. "After all, the expected would be boring, no?"

"The expected was me trying to find an impressive pilgrimage gift that would help all of our people," Tali corrected. "I wouldn't call that boring."

"Well, you've managed that as well," Shepard said.

"Yes," Tali agreed. "It's amazing. I would never have dreamed my pilgrimage could be like that. As part of an alien crew that by and large accepts me as one of theirs. On one of the most advanced ships I've ever seen, with opportunities to fight the geth and their plans. I've been really lucky. Most people don't treat quarians decently, let alone friendly."

It would have been a perfect opportunity for Tali to go on from there to talking about her feelings, but she hesitated. _It would be a bit cheesy. _She knew that was just a cheap excuse her mind had come up with, but - nonetheless she instead continued: "I mean, my pilgrimage aboard the _Normandy_ will surely remain unforgettable for me."

"That's good," Shepard replied. "After all, you'll return to the Migrant Fleet after we're done here and, well..." Now it was his turn to hesitate.

"And stay there, yes," Tali concluded for him. She would be glad to see some people on the Flotilla again. And of course she would return to her people, anything else was unthinkable. Still, the thought of having to depart from the _Normandy, _and especially from Shepard, had something melancholic.

"Then we should make your stay here as memorable as possible," Shepard said. The conversation came to halt for a while until the Commander spoke up again: "Garrus just told me that C-Sec has found some leads in the case of Emily's murder. Apparently the people were hired via a broker who is well known to do work for human megacorporations."

"So that points to ExoGeni," Tali commented.

"Yes. Or to people trying to frame ExoGeni," Shepard pointed out. "However, the money paid out to the broker seems to come from an account which C-Sec already before strongly suspected of being an ExoGeni shadow funds. I mean, it's still not entirely clear: They're not hundred percent sure the money comes from there, they have no full confirmation yet it is an ExoGeni account, and they'd have to check who else could have access to that account, but, yeah, everything points towards ExoGeni. It seems... well, it seems you don't challenge a megacorp without consequences."

"But if already now hints point to ExoGeni, then surely that will backfire at the trial," Tali remarked.

"Yes," Shepard agreed, "It was a blunder on their part. Somebody high-up must've made an angry snap decision. And that cost Emily her life. After all we already knew before ExoGeni has no regard at all for other people's lives." He sighed. "Well, that's out of my hands now anyway. Goyle will take care of that."

"And what will we do?" Tali asked. "Or you, rather, I know I'll be stuck on this ship." She was still restricted to ship service.

"I thought you considered it such an amazing ship?" Shepard asked grinning. Then he shrugged. "We already took out one of Blake's partners. Now we'll take out the other, and then pay a visit to her." He grimaced. "I got a message from her. It seems she was released soon after I turned her over to C-Sec back on the Citadel, so our old meeting point still stands." He paused. "I know we should probably rather be at Noveria, but after going through the records we found at that base - seeing what that criminal scum did, I somehow cannot be sorry about the fact that we invested time in taking them out.

Tali knew what he meant, and could only agree. "I've gone through some of the recovered data as well. Some parts are really terrible. Especially the vids of selling the slave to the batarians." Those had been really horrible. "But that's just how the galaxy is. It is a grim place, and you have to look out for yourself, because only rarely others will." Her father had taught her that much, at least, and for any quarian it was the evident truth. She loved Shepard's idealism in trying to change that, truly loved that part of him especially, but that did not change how reality looked like.

"It is," Shepard agreed, "but not only. You make it sound as if life is only despair and horror, for everybody. That's just not true, and sometimes you find good things among the oddest of circumstances. I mean, I get sent out to bring in a rogue Spectre trying to unleash galaxy-killing robots on us - but I find great people along the way, all friends now." He hesitated and added somewhat awkwardly: "Ah, especially you." And then hastily: "I'm just saying. Sometimes you find all variants of horror in the galaxy. And sometimes, friendship." More collected again: "I do think all the trials on this mission were worth meeting you."

That had come damn near to an admission. _Friendship? Or more?_ "Look at how it is for me," Tali pointed out, "I was chased and trapped - but I got rescued by a dashing Commander, who lets me join his crew and then goes off to save the galaxy." _How could I not develop any kind of interest in him? _"I don't think I'd trade in Saren's hunt for me or getting shot at Therum or at Flux for having met you, either." _Spit it out, woman! _But she just could not say more.

"Well, that's good to know," Shepard answered. "I'm..." He interrupted himself and shook his head. "It's good to know that the galaxy doesn't only have bleakness and horror to offer."

_That wasn't what he was originally trying to say. _She could have pushed the issue now, but did not. The problem was not fear of rejection or anything like it. She was by now pretty certain that Shepard did return her feelings. However, in a way that was irrelevant. Even if they both felt the same, they could never enter into a relationship. And Tali saw no reason to elaborate that fact, despite what Kaidan had advised her.

So instead, she and Shepard let the conversation go back to lighter topics again.

000000

Shepard found again that he had become surprisingly unused to not having Tali on a mission. After her recruitment, he had always brought her along, since she just was the best technician on the ship, and besides could hold her own in battle. The attack on her in Flux, though, and her recovery time afterward had forced Shepard to do without her for now, and it seemed he did get used to that fact as quickly as he had to her presence on missions.

Fortunately, he still saw her often enough, considering how often she was in his cabin these days. Not that he mind, quite the opposite. In fact, he had tried at times to bring up the topic of his, or rather their, feelings, but he had never gone quite through with it. They had been pretty close to discussing that topic a couple of days ago, though.

However, since then it seems both sides had dropped any efforts. After all by now it was pretty clear that both sides knew what each other felt. They were secure in that knowledge. Bringing it up would only lead to the painful elaboration on why such a relationship would never work. So instead, they talked about other things.

He sighed. _Time to turn my concentration to the mission at hand again. _Even without Tali present, he trusted everybody on it, trusted they would be able to face every challenge that might provide themselves.

The ground squad, consisting of Kaidan, Ashley, Garrus and Liara, had landed on the planet of Amarinthe, a location they had been provided with by Helena Blake. Shepard and his team had taken out her two syndicate 'partners', and were no about to meet her. They had just entered her facility and were currently standing in the entrance area.

"It kinda bugs me that we get to meet Blake here," Shepard stated. "She should be in C-Sec custody."

"That's how C-Sec works," Garrus commented.

"Yeah well, they had in fact nothing to actually charge her with," Shepard replied. "I don't blame C-Sec; it's just annoying, that's all."

"What are we going to do about her now?" Liara asked.

"I have no doubt we're already watched," Shepard answered, "So this isn't the best place to discuss, well, anything."

"Oh, of course. Sorry, Jonathan," Liara replied.

Shepard shrugged. "Don't worry. Blake can't look into my head. At least, I don't think so."

He walked to the door leading to the interior to the facility and opened it. He seemed to have been right about Blake having already watched them. At least she seemed to have expected him, as she was standing right in front him now on the other side of the door.

"Hello again, Commander Shepard," she said. "I heard that despite our... problems on the Citadel you went through with my proposal. So I owe you a debt of gratitude: With my former partners dead, this syndicate is now mine. I could not have done it without you."

"_I_ am not done yet," Shepard replied. "Your two partners deserved to be brought to justice for their crimes. So I killed them. And now, Helena Blake, I'm placing you under arrest under my authority as a Spectre."

"Surely you don't think that necessary!" Blake argued, "Under my leadership, the syndicate will restrict itself to gambling and smuggling illegal technologies. Petty, victimless crimes." She paused and smiled. "The same type of crimes that kept you alive in the streets of New York, or so I am given to understand, _Tenth Street Red_. And yet here you stand and want to judge me."

_Damn her!_ Blake seemed to have done her homework on him. And worst of all, she had a point. However, only a small one. "Yeah and look how this turned out," he rebuffed her, "I'm sure you heard about it while in C-Sec custody, the Reds' plans to murder millions of turians. And yet they indeed started out with petty crimes, too."

"There's no profit in mass murder," Blake said. "I would not be so foolish as to go down the same road as a motley collection of street thugs. I have my standards."

"Do you?" Shepard asked. "They can't be very high, seeing as you did cooperate with two slave drivers. You ended that cooperation, yes, but not even yourself - you let me do it. And before, you seemed to have no problems with them."

"I should have acted sooner, yes," Blake conceded. "But if I say that I am in a cut-throat business, then this is not merely a figure of speech. I detest the slave trade, Commander, but I also value my own life. I had to wait for the right opportunity - which was you."

"I'm not saying you don't have a point," Shepard said, "but the extent of your guilt is for the courts to decide, not me. Maybe the fatal termination of cooperation with your two former partners will stand in your favour."

"No matter how lenient the courts might be, I would end up in prison," Blake replied. "I have not come so far just for that to happen! I would die before going to prison. I would most certainly kill before going to prison. Surely the small-time crimes I plan are not worth the risk of that? My men are well equipped to deal with any threats."

_At the moment she's not exactly giving me a good reassurance that she'll stick to petty crimes. _Her talk and behaviour were those of a ruthless top league criminal, so Shepard did not trust her promise. And even if he had - it was not for him to decide.

"Why, Ms Blake, I believe that was a threat," he responded. "I do see your men are already in position. So are you saying that they would open fire on us if, ah, we tried anything suspicious?" He was pretty sure his squad had understood what he really meant. _I always shoot first. _No matter whether on Therum, Feros, or now Amarinthe.

"Exactly," Blake confirmed, "I..."

She did not manage to end the sentence. Mass accelerated bullets began to fly around her head, hitting the people in position behind her. Shortly afterward, the squad stormed into the room.

"Liara!" Shepard shouted. The asari understood: Blake was lifted above the battle by a biotic push. The Commander could have done the same, but he was focused on entering combat. He jumped behind a crate to take cover and joined into the shoot-out.

Blake had apparently prepared herself really well. There were surprisingly many mercenaries present to back her up. However, this time there was nothing at stake for any of the squad members. This was just a professional job, not something personal for anybody. Thus there was no reason to rush blindly into enemy bullets. The team could work slowly and methodically. As much as he was able of doing assault charges himself as combatant, as commander and tactican Shepard preferred a defensive style anyway.

After Liara's biotic lift on Blake ended, Ashley stormed out of cover and tried to subdue her. However, Blake proved to have more combat prowess than either Shepard or the Gunnery Chief would have expected, and after a while Ashley had to retreat from a hail of shots aimed at her. Blake rushed to find cover, securely away from Shepard's team.

"Shit!" Shepard cursed. He would have liked to catch at least _one _of the three crime bosses alive, so that the authorities would have somebody high enough for interrogation, but apparently it was not meant to be.

With both sides now well dug in, the fight became a long drawn and tedious affair. However, the outcome was never in doubt. One by one the mercenaries fell, and the remaining ones withdrew ever more into a corner of the facility. _But they don't surrender. Damn them!_

In the end, Shepard's squad stormed a makeshift barrier of crates behind which Blake and the two last remaining men of hers were hiding. Shepard saw her taking aim at him, but he shot first. As her shields had already faltered, the shot went right through her stomach. She fell down, and blood spluttered from her mouth. Shepard rushed to her, to see if medi-gel would still help, but it appeared to be too late: The application did not produce any results. Blake looked up to him, and respect shimmered in her eyes. She tried to say something, but that only resulted in more blood flowing out of her mouth. Soon afterward, her eyes closed.

Shepard rose to his feet again. "Damnit!" he cursed, and sighed. "Well, everybody see if they can still find evidence here. Otherwise, we're done."

The search did not bring up much - some computer files, but their use was questionable. It hence did not take the squad long until they returned to the Mako.

Shepard was preparing to jump onto the _Normandy _again when he said with a further sigh: "Well, we've stretched that out long enough. Time to go to Noveria."

"About time indeed," Ashley muttered.

"I don't like it," Garrus commented, "but maybe it is time. We don't want to give too large a lead to Saren, after all."

Just then, the comm system cracked, and Joker's voice could be heard: "Uh, Commander? There's a call for you from Admiral Hackett. Says he has a job for you. Something about a madman leading a cult of biotics, I, ah, didn't listen that closely. Guess you'll have to hear it from the Admiral himself."

The announcement was greeted with silence in the Mako. Garrus and Ashley looked at each other, unbelieving. Shepard sighed.

"Looks like we're not yet ready for Noveria," he said.


	19. Ch19: A Tragedy of Biotics I: Kyle

_They had to come up with that just _now, _hadn't they? _Shepard was both amused and annoyed at the Admiral Hackett's call. The _Normandy _crew had spent nearly two weeks filling time, and now when they were ready to depart for Noveria, the Alliance came calling with another job.

Joker had informed Shepard about Admiral Hackett's call, just as the Commander had been returning from a mission on Amarinthe, where he had tried to arrest the crime boss Helena Blake. This had not gone well, and now Helena and all her followers who had been present were dead. Rather than go to prison, they had all opted to fight to the death. It was not exactly an ideal outcome, but with both Blake and her two former partners in crime dead, at least the syndicate was broken up now, or so Shepard assumed.

As soon as he had jumped the Mako back into the _Normandy_, Shepard had made for his cabin. There, he now accepted Admiral Hackett's call.

"I'm here, Admiral," he announced.

"Good," Hackett responded. "We've got a mission for you."

"How can I help, sir?" Shepard asked. Hackett had been chief among the conspirators who helped to bring Cerberus down, the others being Admiral Kahoku and Shepard himself. Thus, the Spectre was well disposed towards the commander of the Fifth Fleet.

"Alliance Command is a bit worried, Shepard, and we would like you to look into the matter," Hackett began to explain.

"I heard it has something to do with a cult of biotics?" Shepard inquired.

"Yes," Hackett confirmed. "An Alliance officer named Major Kyle has set up a small compound in the Hawking Eta cluster. He's attracted a number of followers, and most are indeed biotics. He's become an outspoken critic of the Alliance, and we believe he's mentally unstable. This could be trouble Shepard."

Shepard lightly laughed at that. ": _I _can be an outspoken critic of the Alliance at times, Admiral. That's no crime."

Hackett's voice remained deadly serious. "No. But three days ago we sent two Alliance representatives to meet with him at his compound. They have disappeared. We believe Kyle and his followers killed them. That compound is a cult Shepard. They call him Father Kyle now. He sees himself as some sort of religious leader."

That sobered Shepard up. "Well, that's no crime, either," he said unsurely, "Freedom of religion and all that..." And more decisively: "But killing two people would be. I understand, that needs to be investigated. What were they doing at Kyle's compound, though?

"Major Kyle is mentally unstable," Hackett explained, "He was at Torfan, and he could not cope with what had happened there. Too many soldiers died under his command and he couldn't deal with the guilt. His psych evaluations showed he couldn't handle the stress of command anymore. He was given a honourable discharge and an early retirement. We hoped he would get better in time, but we underestimated how far gone he was. So, these two representatives wanted to bring Major Kyle back for treatment. He has served us faithfully for many years, and we weren't going to abandon him now. Given his state of mind, however, he probably saw them as a threat. We're almost certain he had his followers kill them."

_That_ made Shepard suspicious. It did admittedly not take much any longer to make him suspicious of Alliance actions, but somehow what Hackett had said did not seem right. " I hope you forgive me for saying so, Admiral: But you, the Navy that is, left Kyle alone for nearly a decade - and now you happen to decide you want to help him, now that he has gathered followers around him and started to criticize the Alliance? That's... awfully convenient timing."

"We had no indication of how hard hit psychologically Kyle was, not until we received his radio transmissions calling for biotics to join him in his compound," Hackett defended himself, "I know you're always suspicious about Alliance Command's motives, but there's nothing sinister about this case, Shepard. We just didn't know about Kyle's state of mind before. We made a mistake, but a honest one."

"And did those two really, honestly believe Major Kyle would just so come with them?" Shepard asked.

"That was the hope," Hackett said. "Maybe it was too idealistic. Maybe the entire affair was too rushed, and we should have been more careful and gradual in building up contact with him. But neither of those mistakes warrants getting killed, especially as those representatives were just the messengers."

"Yeah, that's true," Shepard conceded. "That's a case that needs to be cleared up. I'll look into that matter at least. But if Kyle is innocent, I'll have no part in bringing him to any place he doesn't want to be."

"That's fair enough, Shepard," Hackett reassured him. "Getting any kind of information out from Kyle's compound would already be greatly appreciated anyway. And we're very sure he did order those murders - but I think he might be innocent either way. If he ordered the murders, then that's just another urgent reason to bring him in for treatment. The problem is that you may not be able to do this peacefully. Kyle's cult is dangerous."

"Biotics mostly, you said?" Shepard inquired.

"Yes," Hackett confirmed. "Major Kyle never showed any biotic tendencies himself, though. I think he's just latched onto a group he can identify with. Many biotics feel marginalized or ostracized by society. Kyle probably sees them as victims who need his protections. And they see him as someone who will fight for them. Unfortunately, he's convinced them that the Alliance is somehow responsible for all of their problems. We can't let him go on like this.

_What? _"Oh?" Shepard replied, "The Alliance can't let him go on? Careful, Admiral, that sounds dangerously like wanting to silence a critic. And I won't have any part in _such _kinds of operations." He paused. "Besides, I know for a fact that in the case of... many biotics, the Alliance _is _in fact responsible for all their problems. Just look at what the L2 implants do! I've been lucky, but... others not so much."

"I understand what you mean, Shepard," Hackett said, "But the Navy has to look at it from the perspective of security concerns. Kyle is religiously indoctrinating a group of people with immense personal powers against the Alliance. That's a danger."

"That's freedom of speech and religion!" Shepard argued, probably less respectful towards a superior office then he should be, "His followers are biotics, so? Do you want to give biotics less rights than ordinary people? You know you're talking to a biotic at the moment, don't you?"

"I do," Hackett answered, "Hopefully this will have weight with Kyle and his followers as well, though I doubt that. We can sit around here and discuss the issue all day, you know that, Shepard. I understand you disagree with Alliance Command's reasoning, but there is still the issue of the two presumably murdered Alliance representatives."

"There is," Shepard agreed. He was annoyed at Hackett simply waving his arguments away like that, but there still was that issue. "The representatives who wanted to disband the cult, but... yeah, who didn't deserve death. I'll look into that matter then. And only into that matter. I won't do a job of silencing a critic for the Alliance."

"Understood, Shepard," Hackett said, "Fifth Fleet out."

_This will be again one of those missions..._

Shepard did not like the thought of it. He just knew that it would not be as easy to simply check the situation.

…...

Presrop, a moon of Klendragon, a planet in the Century System in the Hawking Eta cluster. A lifeless rock without any significance and importance whatsoever, but easily reachable since Hawking Eta had a veritable nexus of primary relays leading to and from it. The perfect place for a commune that wanted to be both covered, yet easily reachable for potential newcomers.

The compound was easily found. It seemed Major Kyle's followers had not even made an attempt to hide it. Already from space it could be determined that it was actually fairly large, as far as such installations on lifeless planets went, and included several buildings.

Shepard had decided to take his Spectre entourage with him - as always when he thought something suspicious about a mission. He would try to clear up the matter of the two missing Alliance representatives, but there was more to that mission than just that. The Alliance wanted Kyle silenced; Hackett had nearly all-out admitted so. And Shepard would not stand for that.

Thus, instead of relying on Alliance troops, Shepard used his 'collection of aliens', as Wrex had dubbed them. They were always the group which he kept under his direct command, and which he used in delicate matters. People who were not loyal to the Alliance but to him personally. _My household cavalry, champions, retainers, huscarls... all those terms would fit. _There was certainly something medieval about that. The thought of him as some sort of medieval lord ruling from his castle amused Shepard on the remaining way to the compound.

In fact, he was not even wearing any Alliance uniform or insignia at the moment. He had removed any such symbols from his hardsuit before. The purpose of that was twofold: A message to the biotics that he was not fully with the Alliance, and a message to the Alliance that as a Spectre he did not need to fully follow them.

No movement or other activity could be seen as the Mako drove into the compound grounds. However, as most installations would be primarily subterranean, due to the hostile conditions of Preslop, that was not saying much. The entrances of such facilities always only represented the tip of the iceberg. Shepard drove his vehicle right next to what looked like the entrance to the compound's main installation, and built up a communication channel to it.

Immediately, a voice came through that channel: "This is a _private_ sanctuary. Outsiders are _not_ welcome here."

"I want no trouble," Shepard replied, "but I need to talk with the person in charge here. It's important."

"Father Kyle wants nothing more to do with the Alliance," the man on the other side of the communication channel insisted.

"I can understand that," Shepard assured him, "But I only want to talk. I want not bloodshed, I don't want to take Kyle away from here, I just want to clear some matters up. If you do not let me, though, then the next Alliance investigation team might be more forceful. People could get hurt."

"We will not allow anybody to take Father Kyle away from us!" the man shouted, "We need him! He protects us!"

"I don't want him to take away," Shepard repeated himself, "I just need to talk to him. The issue of the two dead Alliance investigators isn't going to go away, and we need to find a peaceful way out of this. Without anybody getting killed."

"Wait..." the man answered. And then, after a while: "Father Kyle will speak with you. Head to the building at the far end of the compound. He will meet you there."

"Thanks," Shepard said an accelerated the Mako again, stopping it shortly afterward in front of the mentioned building. It looked like a civilian version of the bunker types Shepard had already seen so often on his journey.

He left the vehicle, followed by his entourage. Slightly nervous he opened the door to the building. He had no doubt he could defeat everybody here; that was not what he was anxious about. The point was that he did not want to let it come so far, and he was worried if he could manage to avoid it.

Just like the outside, the interior of the facility looked no different then that of over a dozen such installations Shepard had already seen - bleak, technical, utilitarian, filled with crates and terminals. The only difference were the people walking among those objects: Kyle's biotic followers. Angry stares followed Shepard, and some people even quite openly stated their anger and disgust at his presence.

Shepard ignored them. He had not come to start violence. He saw others, though, who fearfully retreated from him, or were even outright shocked when they saw him. One even began to stammer. Then Shepard realized: _No, not me._

It wasn't him. It was Garrus. The biotics here were of the desperate sort, and that meant that L2s would be statistically overrepresented. L2s... and BAaT 'graduates'. Or BAaT survivors, really. _People with bad experiences with turians, to put it lightly._

He turned towards his entourage and whispered forcefully: "Garrus, Wrex, return to the vehicle."

"Ah, all right, Commander" Garrus confirmed, "Is something the matter?"

"I can't explain it here," Shepard said, "it's not your fault. Not mine either, and not those of the people here, either, but the mission might go much smoother if you two are out of sight. Sorry. I'll explain later."

"But that leaves you with just Tali and Liara, and you are surrounded by potential hostiles," Garrus pointed out.

"I know," Shepard said, "We just have to hope they don't actually turn hostile. And if they do, well, I'm sure we can bunker in and wait for you to come in again. Now, please go."

"As you wish, Commander," Garrus said. By then Wrex had already turned to go, and now Garrus followed him.

Shepard shook his head sadly and sighed. Tali and Liara looked puzzled at him (or at least he assumed so in Tali's case), but he did not offer an explanation to them. Rather, he walked on, making his way through angry and hostile looking biotics.

The facility was a maze of corridors and rooms, but eventually Shepard arrived at the central control room. There, he found a black man with well trimmed moustache and goatee. The facial hair must have been a recent addition, but the man was still recognizable from the pictures Hackett had sent to Shepard: Major Kyle. Father Kyle to his followers.

He was the only person in the room, or at least Shepard assumed so at first. But then he noticed movements in some corners, behind some crates. _They're hiding in position. But they're not actually trained to do so. _There were further biotics in the room, probably ready to strike at any notice.

"I am Major Kyle," the man introduced himself. "I know why you've come. We have no quarrel with you. Why can't you just leave us alone?"

"And I have no quarrel with you," Shepard reassured him. "I'm an Alliance officer, yes, but I do disagree with the Alliance's meddling into your group. However, we assume to murders happened here. This needs to be cleared up."

"Yes. The two who came before you," Kyle confirmed. "They wanted to take me away from here! They wanted me to abandon this place. Turn my back on my family. They spoke blasphemy! I did what I could to make their end quick and painless. I had no other choice. It was necessary to protect my children. Only I can keep them safe."

That was a clear admission of the crime, but it was just the bare bones of information, wrapped into religious speech patterns. However, Shepard knew inquiring further ran the risk of provoking Kyle, who obviously was emotionally rather volatile. Careful to voice his sympathy to the group, Shepard answered: "And in doing so you provided the Alliance just the reason it looked for to disband your group. I have no problem with you people gathering here and listening to you. That's all within your rights. But - " _Careful with formulations now, Jon. _ "Sorry, but was it really necessary to kill two people who were just doing their job? Please, Major, help me to understand. I want no further blood shed. So tell me exactly what happened here, please."

"They came under a banner of peace, so we let them in," Kyle explained, "We let them enter as our honoured guests. But they thanked it to us with blasphemy. They would not accept a no as an answer. They had only one aim: To leave my children without their father."

"Yes, but..." Shepard began, but then trailed off. _This will be difficult. _Kyle could apparently only speak as preacher, and not present him more precise facts.

Before the Commander could speak again, a third voice spoke up. It sounded forceful and determined: "Father, let me handle that."

A woman came out of her cover. The first thing Shepard noticed was how high grown she was, probably even a few centimeters larger than he himself, with a strong body build. Her skin was the faintest brown, and her hair dark, thick and curly. Contrary to current fashion, it fell down to her shoulders. She walked to reach Kyle's side. Her steps were wide and angry; her entire bearing spoke of a suppressed fury.

However, Kyle's reply to her appearance was soft: "Child, Tisiphone," he said. He sounded worried - _Indeed like a father worried about his daughter._ "I don't think you should step out into these people's sight. They're unclean"

"I know, father, you taught us," the woman, Tisiphone, replied. "But that man is not looking for your kind of answers. Maybe my kind of answers can help."

"You were always among my bravest children," Kyle stated. Again it sounded like a true father, like a proud father. "Speak with him then. Bloodshed is never what I had wanted. It was not supposed to go that way."

She nodded sharply and turned to Shepard, whom she gestured to move into a certain direction. "This way, Commander. So we can speak in quiet, and freely." Her sharp voice made it clear that her use of his title had been mere formal politeness, and that under other circumstances she would never have extended such courtesy to him. Or any courtesy at all.

While they walked to one of the far corners of the room, Shepard, not able to contain his curiosity, asked: "Tisiphone?" _A bad omen._

"Not my birth name, obviously," the woman replied.

_A very bad sign. _"Then lead on, daughter of Nyx," he commented.

The faintest of smiles appeared on Tisiphone's lips, but even that looked hard and unpleasant, and it died very quickly.

When they stopped, Tisiphone spoke up: "Our good father Kyle can ramble a bit, I know. You were looking for some more precise answers, I take it?"

"Indeed," Shepard confirmed. "Looking to uncover just what has happened here."

"You won't get that from him," Tisiphone answered, "He preaches. It's what he does."

"Ah, excuse me for saying so, but you don't sound like a very convinced follower," Shepard commented.

"I'm not," Tisiphone admitted. "That whole 'Father' things is pure nonsense. A cult of personality, which is... rarely a healthy thing. I know, very convenient for me to say right now, but nobody else here would; they wouldn't even pretend to."

"Then why are you in this group?" Shepard inquired surprised.

"Unhealthy as a cult of personality may be, it provides us with a community," Tisiphone explained, "Us biotics, that is. We're mistreated at every turn. Many of us are traumatized, and can find no place in regular society. And the Alliance just continues their crimes against us. Father Kyle is a focal point, somebody we can rally and form a community around, to help each other against those outside ills."

It was very clear where Tisiphone tried to lead the conversation. She tried to make him see the value of that community, so that he would not destroy it. However, while it was transparent, Shepard had to admit she had a point. "I... have been lucky concerning my talents, but I know what you mean, and I agree about the mistreatment of biotics," he said. "I know, very convenient for me to say now, but well, I guess it doesn't matter anyway. So tell me, just what has happened here?"

"Kyle spoke the truth: The two came to here under promises of peace," Tisiphone answered. "And they did talk peacefully with him at first. Tried the whole understanding-psychological approach, you know what I mean. But that didn't help, Kyle still would not come, would not abandon his community. So the two became... pushy. It's iffy: They never actually threatened anybody, not directly, but they did not leave either, and just continued to try to convince Kyle. And there was some actual pushing in the end. Not really violence, but, well, physical."

"Sounds just like the Alliance," Shepard sighed, "Idiots. They saw this group as an embarrassment, even though you all were within your rights, and hence used the excuse of Kyle's trauma to try to remove that embarrassment. Still, killing them... I guess under some extreme 'My home is my castle' laws in some jurisdictions that would already count as self-defence. I always disagreed with such laws, though. Which leaves the question what to do now. I'd still call it murder."

"And I'd even agree, though I'd never shed a tear for Alliance officials," Tisiphone answered. "They can all burn for all I care. For all I'd want. Present company included." _That was very clear._ Tisiphone continued as if she had not just wished him death: "Still, it was a blunder on Kyle's part, and now it seems we have to pay for that. If you remove Kyle, the focal point of this group, it... it would just shatter. Everybody would go their own way again. For many people here the community is the only thing they have, and now it might just get taken away from them. Traumatized people, wrecks of people."

"I know," Shepard claimed. "The L2 implants, if nothing else. I have a L2 in my crew, Lieutenant Alenko, who..."

"Alenko?" Tisiphone interrupted him. She was absolutely nonplussed. "Kaidan Alenko?"

"Ah, yes..." Shepard confirmed uncertainly.

"He has joined the Alliance?" Tisiphone asked. "I... I don't know what to say."

"Why? What's so special about him?" Shepard wanted to know.

"He... he was my hero!" Tisiphone exclaimed. "For over a decade! And now I learn he has... he has betrayed us! After all that has happened to us! All that has happened to him! You couldn't know, Commander..."

"I do, actually," Shepard interrupted her. "He told me. About BAaT. And I reacted in pretty much the same manner. You were there, too?" His voice softened at the end. After all, he did know what had happened at BAaT.

"I was," Tisiphone confirmed. "I was kidnapped from home as a child. I had that implant shoved into my head, without any agreement on my part. I had the constant pains ever since. And I survived two years of hell when they siced the turians on us. On children!"

"If they had discovered my biotic potential earlier I would have ended up on BAaT," Shepard commented, "I told Kaidan that if I had, I surely would have been part of one of the violent extremist cells by now."

Tisiphone laughed at that, but it was a bitter, sharp laugh. "There's more to that. Didn't Kaidan ever tell you it was him who shot down BAaT?

_What? _"What?" Shepard asked.

"There was a girl he always was around, Rana," Tisipone explained. "She had a coterie of friends... well, to be fair she was indeed very nice, but those people, including Kaidan, they did everything they could to protect her from the turians. But that didn't always work. None of us was safe, and the turians were brutal. And the Conatix employees on Jump Zero, they simply let it happen, when they beat us down, kicked us, denied us food, forced us to to nearly fry our implants under great pains..." She had become agitated, but calmed her voice down again now. Instead of angry, it was now bitter. Shepard could not blame her for that. "And the Alliance let Conatix do so. In any case - one day, Vyrnnus, the leader of the turians, broke Rana's arm. For the great crime of having reached a drink with her hand, instead of using her biotic powers, for not wanting to get another nosebleed. Kaidan stepped forwards, angry, but... didn't do anything. And Vyrnnus just beat him down. Told us how they, the turians, should have destroyed us humans when they had the chance, that our race would need to learn its proper place, all the while punching and hitting Kaidan." She scoffed. "Nobody intervened. The turians were after all given free reign. That time it was excessive, but the turians beating us was _normal_." She spat the word out. "However, then Vyrnnus unsheathed a knife. A military grade knife. And Kaidan. I think he reacted purely by instinct - he sent a biotic push against Vyrnnus so hard the turian's neck snapped. He killed him, our tormentor. And afterward, the program just stopped. This death must have caused some trouble to the Alliance and Conatix. And one year later BAaT was disbanded." Again she became agitated: "Were were sent into the wilderness, without any compensation or even only apologies, left to fend for ourselves, traumatized and often crippled by the implants, and the Alliance hushed everything up. But at least the program ended. Thanks to Kaidan. And now I hear, despite everything that has happened to us, despite everything the Alliance did to us, despite how the Alliance merely saw us resources to be exploited, no matter our pain - he has joined them. Hah. The hero of my youth. _Fucking traitor_."

Shepard reacted with silence. That was quite a tale. It was a detail about Kaidan's life he had not known so far. And it was a brutal story of how BAaT must have been. "I... I... " he stammered after a while "I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say."

Tisiphone's eyes fixated him. She seemed to ponder something."Then don't." she replied after a while. "Maybe you should listen instead. And remember that for many of those people the community is all they have."

…...

The first person Tisiphone led to Shepard was a small man with curiously small nose and constantly shifting eyes. His gait and entire posture were cowered. Tisiphone also tried to gather other people, but many seemed to rebuff her, or at least at first.

Thus it was the small man who spoke up first: "I was so scared when they took me from home. I didn't know what was happening. They told me my parents had agreed to that, and I wondered how my parents could ever have abandoned me like that. I felt betrayed and utterly alone. And they did all those tests on us. Tests, school, test, that was life. There was nothing else to where they had taken us. And that was before things got bad."

That was the first testimony he heard. Other followed. And as Tisiphone had suggested, Shepard listened.

Another man, with uncultivated stubbles but an articulate pattern of speech: "I had never seen aliens before the turians arrived. I... I was even curious at first. But they... they were brutal. We soon learned that. They beat us regularly, for even the smallest failures. I was just fourteen back then, forced to be at that place, and under a drill more brutal than anything in the Navy. I did later learned that was to drill us, to break us, to condition us to always be perfect so that any subconscious barriers might be broken, but... they all had us scared and shocked and hurting. Kids, traumatized."

Shepard activated the his visor, which he recently had acquired at the Citadel. He began to sign all the testimonies up.

A lean woman with reddish-brown skin and very short cut hair: "We had been with the Conatix employees for years by then. And they... they did nothing. We pleaded with them. We cried for their help when the turians... when they started beating us again. And they just stood there and let it happen. They just watched kids getting beat down."

Shepard's face was cast in stone. But he listened. Intensely. Listened and recorded everything.

A large grown blond man with clumsy movements: "The turians... mandibles... no, no, don't hurt me again! Stop beating me! Dr Lacroix, why don't you help me?"

A black woman, small but curvaceous, whose voice made it clear how much she resented Shepard. She was probably only speaking to him at Tisiphone's urging. "That's how they trained us. They forced us to push more and more and more, no matter the pain. And the pain was, was overwhelming. So to force us they had to apply even greater pain. Punishments were harsh if we failed to push on, if we failed to hurt ourselves."

A man with long brown hair and a mane of a beard: "People died in these exercises. They just... keeled over, blood coming out of their mouths. My god, we were just thirteen, fourteen back then. And we watched our friends die. And the turians, they just went on with those exercises, because after all - it could have just been a subconscious barrier to be broken. That's why they were there: To break us in order to get a working biotic. That's how they did it."

The testimonies went on and on and on. Tisiphone seemed to be able to always produce somebody else:

"We were never free of the terror. There was to be no safety for us. We were to be broken, so the turians commanded these pain drills at the oddest hours. We were always in fear it could happen now or next hour or afterward. And people died in these exercises."

"I'm never free. I'm always fearing they come back, and it's the next training session, and it starts all over again..."

"They handed us out to those turians. Let them abuse us. And then they just sent us away and hushed everything up!"

"I didn't know what they wanted to do with us. Medical tests happened often. We were in no position to refuse them. But that time, when they implanted the L2... it was untested tech! And they just shoved it into our heads! Without even asking us!"

"We were led to those surgeries one by one. The latest, they knew the effects, the headaches, the twitches, the personality changes. They... we didn't want to, but they forced us. They anesthetized us, took us to the hospital room, and pushed that... thing in. And ever since then, the world has only been pain, and my arms and legs don't really move as they should."

"I watched as friends withered away, crippled by the implants the Alliance forced on us. They never got their old personality back. The Alliance had stolen those from them."

"I just want it to stop. The pain. I don't to have that implant in me. But they never cared for that."

"That was what 2168 was. Pain at night because of the implant, pain at day due to the turians. And I hadn't even passed my 16th birthday yet!"

"When I try to think... it _hurts_. The other... the other in me... it hurts!"

"And then... I didn't know what to do when they just closed Hell down. I didn't know. They just dumped us all. Hushed everything up. And I... I couldn't get back. I was twelve when they took me, and now I was eighteen, I couldn't go back, I was no child any more after all..."

"They made us all look like raving lunatics. All the rumours about biotics and especially L2s being unstable, that was deliberately spread by the Alliance. So nobody would trust our words when we said what had happened to us. We were just biotic lunatics."

"They didn't believe me! Nobody did! I could scream my lungs out what happened to me, and nobody believed! They even scolded me for saying such things! My own parents did!"

"So what could I do? I was left all alone with my pain, with what had happened to me, with the strange things I saw because of that thing in my head."

"They got what they wanted. Working biotics. And our suffering, our deaths? Who cares? We were sacrificed so that the Alliance could get working biotics, and _they got away with that!_"

"We were used. Used and dumped, and now they've got their biotics, and we have a ruined life, and nobody even cares about that except Father!"

"There is no justice in the galaxy. None. The Alliance hushed everything up and we're seen as liars."

Shepard watched and recorded and listened.

000000

Tali watched all those people being led to Shepard. She saw them talking to him. She saw his face getting ever grimmer, saw him listening intensely, saw the suppressed signed of anger inside him. And she saw that woman, Tisiphone, leading ever more people to him. The quarian shot angry glances to her; not that anybody would realize that. What the biotic did to Shepard - it was very clear it was hurting him.

He did not protest, though. Tali knew he never would. After all, injustices had in fact been done to those people, and Shepard always cared about that. Eventually, no further person was led to him. By then point he sat on a small crate, and when nobody else came his posture slumped down. Any muscle tensions seemed to leave his upper body.

Carefully, Tali approached him.

It took some time until Shepard noticed her standing besides him. He looked up to her and asked: "Ah, Tali, what should I _do _now?"

Tali had no advice for him. She did not even fully know just what options he pondered, or if he even had any in his mind. So, instead, she sat down beside him, and answered: "What do you want to do?"

He sighed. "I know what I'm _supposed_ to do. Bring Kyle in. Leave the group without focal point. It would disband then. But... these people... they need it. They really do." He looked at her with a melancholic grin: "So the other alternative is to leave them alone. Completely reject Hackett's orders."

Tali did not like that thought at all. The idea of disregarding authority left her with a faint mental disdain. And Shepard knew so.

"Not exactly a nice thought for you, is it?" he asked.

Only three or four weeks earlier, Tali would have reacted for more insecurely, would have felt uncertain in discussing such matters with Shepard. But not any more. She knew she had little else to offer to Shepard than her emotional support, so she was determined to offer that at least. "No," she admitted, "But that isn't the point. I have nothing to do with the whole case. You do, though."

To her surprise Shepard nodded vigorously. "Yes, I do... Tali, these are _my people_! Had my talents been discovered... I could have ended up one of them! That's what's driving me crazy. This all _could have happened to me_! I _am _a biotic, and look what the Alliance has done to my people!"

Tali understood. It was a horrifying thought. "If you consider them your people, you must help them," she stated. That was obvious to her as a quarian. Clan and people were important among quarians. "But they're not your only people, are they? What about humanity in general?"

"Yes, humanity..." Shepard answered. "But humanity is not the Alliance."

Tali slightly hesitated at that. It was just a short stop in her motions, but Shepard noticed.

"I know," he said, "This all goes against your ingrained quarian sense of duty."

"No," Tali protested "That is, yes, but it doesn't matter. My people are never far away from death, or even extinction. We have no alternative to trusting in and always obeying our governments, both the Conclave and the Board of Admirals. They make mistakes, but we cannot risk any divisions inside the Flotilla. So that's why I would not separate between my people and my government. However - that does not mean I begrudge other peoples the ability to do so. This is a human affair, not a quarian affair. Whatever you do will be the right thing."

"Yes, but what _can_ I do?" Shepard pleaded, " If I do nothing then this just delays the issue. And besides, what of those two murders? Am I to ignore them?" He let his head sink between his hands.

Tali touched his upper arm. He looked up, surprised. She looked right back. "So far, you've always found a way."

Shepard grinned lopsidedly, but it still looked sad. "I suppose. But it seems here I have few alternatives. All or nothing..."

Tali was not quite sure what he referred to, but she let him rambling on, while stroking his upper arm comfortingly. He smiled melancholic.

"It seems you're more than just my chaperon" he said quietly and softly.

"I don't think anything more really needs to be said about this," she answered. It was true. That was one reason why she could be so secure now. Nothing really needed to be said. Both sides knew, and both sides knew the other side knew. And so on. However, it just was never discussed.

Shepard nodded again. "All," he muttered distantly. He briefly padded her hand, the one at his arm, and stood up. "Tisiphone!" he called.

It took a while, but eventually the dark-haired woman appeared. Her posture was as aggressive as ever. She crossed her arms and waited for Shepard to say something.

"You were right," Shepard admitted. "I cannot... I just cannot take this community away from its people. Two murders happened here, but..." He spoke quieter "... but it pales compared to what crimes these people have endured."

Tisiphone raised an eyebrow. Tali was unsure if that was to signify surprise or a condescending arrogance about having been right. _Maybe both. _ "Good," she said after a pause.

"However, I need to speak with Kyle," Shepard demanded.

"I don't think that's wise," Tisiphone commented. Signs of insecurity crept into her usually harsh voice.

"Why, fearing his emotional instability might screw this up in the last minute?" Shepard asked rhetorically. "That's a risk you'll have to take."

"Very well," Tisiphone conceded, and led Shepard to the cult leader. Tali followed them.

Kyle was resting on another low crate, rubbing his forehead. He looked tired. _Worried, probably. _When he saw Tisiphone and Shepard approaching, though, he immediately stood up, and no sign of weariness could be seen on him.

"My daughter Tisiphone has made quite a ruckus in the family," he said. "Was it worthwhile?"

"It was," Shepard confirmed. "I cannot leave these people without their 'father'. So I will go, and I will do nothing."

"It's good that..." Kyle began.

However, Shepard cut him short: "_However_, this is essentially a second chance for you. Don't screw it up. If I hear of any further dead people turning up here, I _will _return. I don't want bloodshed, I don't want this group, this 'family' to end up scattered, but this will happen if you again end somebody's life here." He breathed out. "I hope we're clear on this."

Kyle remained silent, clearly stunned. After a while he said: "I never meant to drag my family into violence. But I had no other choice."

"Nobody says you cannot defend yourself," Shepard reassured him, "but you don't need to do so with lethal means. You have dozens of people about you, most with biotic powers. Surely you could also have overpowered the two representatives and forced them back into their shuttle? Do that the next time such a situation arises."

Tisiphone spoke up: "He has a point, father. The Alliance will always look for a reason to eradicate us. We shouldn't give them that reason."

"Well spoken," Kyle said. "Then it is agreed. We will defend ourselves from the Alliance, but no more deaths."

Shepard nodded and turned. Then he stopped. "Ah, Tisiphone, one more thing." He waved her to another corner again. Neither protested when Tali followed them to listen.

"What is it?" Tisiphone asked. "Haven't you said you want to leave us alone?"

"I do," Shepard said, "but what about the next person the Alliance sends? And you know there will be more. And your show won't work on anybody. Personally, I don't think it'll even work twice."

Tisiphone did not budge. "I know that problem, but it's mine. It's not your concern."

"I don't do things halfway," Shepard stated. "This isn't about keeping my own precious hands clear, I don't care about that. This is about people which I think need help. And so, that's what I intend to do."

"Oh?" Tisiphone inquired.

"I'm transmitting a location to you. A facility on the planet of Amarinthe, recently, ah, _cleared_ from its previous inhabitants. Which were a crime syndicate, so the base doesn't appear on any maps. A good place to lay low for a while, or even a bit longer than a while. The Alliance knows about this compound here after all."

This stunned Tisiphone. "..._why?_" she asked.

_Because he doesn't do things halfway. _Tali already knew that. It was part of his unrelenting idealism to always try to make the galaxy a better place. In a way, no matter the cost.

However, that was not what Shepard said. He chuckled softly and said: "It's funny. I always thought I'd be neutral and objective in my duty. That I could never be bought. But that's not true. Every person has their price, it's just that it's not always money. For some it's indeed money, for others fame and glory, and for yet others yet different things. And for me... for me it's justice. Those people here deserve justice. And if that means looking past two cases of murder - then I'm not proud to ignore them, but I will do so."

"So is that how you want to use your records?" Tisiphone asked.

"I wish I could," Shepard answered, "But you know it's not that easy, or you'd already have done so. People will just dismiss the testimonies. They always have so far. Nothing will change about that just because I have bundled them. But... it's a start. And if this community just drifts apart that start will be lost. Nobody believes testimonies by random drifters. However, testimonies by people who have banded together more or less just because of that issue..."

"I understand," Tisiphone said. "You're an odd case, Commander. How did you end up with the Alliance, anyway?"

Shepard shrugged. "Joining them helped me get off the street."

"A means to an end then," Tisiphone commented. "Just as I use a cult of personality to have this community. Very well, I can thus hardly blame you."

"I might still ask you the same, though," Shepard said, "Why are you here? Given your self-chosen name, shouldn't you be in one of the terrorist cells?"

"Never think that I won't have my revenge!" Tisiphone hissed aggressively. Then she collected herself again. "I'll never give up my desire for revenge. I won't forget and I won't forgive. However... I won't sacrifice everything for its sake, either. Especially not other people. The Alliance did that, sacrificing people, because they didn't care about them. I won't. Revenge will come, but for now - there are people, biotics, who have it way worse than me, who are psychological wrecks or whose implants have crippled them. For now, I need to provide a home to them."

"I... that's noble," Shepard said. He sounded very sincere.

"I do have contacts to those cells, though," Tisiphone continued, ignoring the compliment. "And maybe that's a way to repay you. Now and then I know about their future plans. And I know hence that right now one group is boarding the private freighter of Member of Parliament Burns, Chairman of the Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies. The Committee which is refusing any reparations to us L2s. The group seeks to change that. So, maybe you should best hurry, Commander. You might just be the one person who can lead this to an unbloody and yet satisfactory end. I'll transmit the location and all relevant data to you, and I'll call the cell, to vouch for you."

Shepard starred at her, then hastened outside.

**000000**_  
_

**Note: Sorry for introducing an OC to affect the story. I promise it will remain the only one of any significance ;)**


	20. Ch20: A Tragedy of Biotics II: Burns

Shepard was inside the Mako, together with his Spectre entourage, on the way back to the _Normandy_ from their mission on Presrop - a mission where they had learned of a hostage situation in the making. Thus, Shepard hurried as much as he could. He relayed the location provided by Tisiphone, the biotic who had told him all about the planned hostage taking, straight to the _Normandy_. And as soon as the Mako was back inside the ship, he headed straight for the CIC, still in full combat gear. The ship's three officers, Pressly, Adams and Alenko, awaited him there.

"We need to hurry," he told them. "We have an emergency at our hands. A hostage situation in the making."

"Understood, Commander," Pressly replied. "The course is already set, and the ship is on the move at top speed. But if I may ask: What happened down there? Were you not supposed to bring Major Kyle along?"

"I told Admiral Hackett that I would acquire information about what happens at the compound," Shepard corrected his XO. "That's exactly what I've done, so I've fulfilled my mission. And the most important information I have gathered is this hostage case. It's about Chairman Burns. He heads the Alliance Parliament's Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies. If my information is correct, his ship is currently getting boarded. We'ill come too late to prevent that, but we can deal with the hostage situation afterward."

"I'm not looking forward to that," Kaidan commented, "Hostage situations are always ugly. However it needs to be done"

Shepard shook his head. "I think I might be able to establish a contact to the hostage takers." Tisiphone had said she would tell them about what he had done on Presrop. "That's why we should deal with this. We might just be able to end this peacefully."

The three officers looked at each other surprised and puzzled. "Ah, understood, Commander," Pressly finally said. "I just hope we won't come too late."

"That's my worry as well," Shepard agreed. "I'll be in my room, changing." And with that he turned and went.

However, Kaidan went after him, and caught him at the stairs leading up the second deck. "Jon, what happened down there?" he asked.

"Lots," Shepard simply answered. _Lots to do with you. _Truth be told, he had no idea how to explain this all to the Lieutenant. He sighed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to block you like that. But it has been a lot, indeed, and I need to think about it first myself. Maybe once we've cleared the hostage situation."

_A rescue mission for the arsehole who now added insult to injury and denied any reparations to the L2s. The Chairman of the Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies. I wonder why we should..._ But then a thought stroke him. _An influential person. A knowledgeable person._

Kaidan looked surprised to see the Commander grin. However, Shepard simply went on his way to his cabin.

…...

Even at highest acceleration, the _Normandy_ would take over a day to reach their destination, as the ship had to traverse several clusters to reach Hades Gamma. And even that speed could only be reached at a certain risk to the ship's systems. The _Normandy _was built for high acceleration, but Shepard was pushing her limits.

It was for that reason that he had paid a visit to Engineer Adams. The ranking officer in Engineering had assured him that so far, everything was still in order, and since they would reach their target in merely some few hours it was unlikely that in that time anything would break. Shepard had thus left Engineering relieved and reassured.

Just before he could step into the elevator leading from the cargo bay to the CIC, though, he was stopped by Ashley, who came walking hurriedly from her station.

"Hey, Skipper!" she called out.

"Ashley. Something on your mind?" Shepard asked.

"I just heard the news," she answered. "So we're on the next wild chase again?"

Shepard doubted she had left her station in a rush to get to him just so she could ask that, but he played along. If Ashley had any worries, he would listen to them. "Yeah. You're gonna like that one, we're about to rescue a high-ranking politician."

"Just what I signed up for then, saving slimeballs," Ashley joked. "But I suppose you can't choose which parts of the job you do."

"Not unless you're a Spectre, no," Shepard agreed.

"You seem to have really grown into the role," Ashley commented.

"It's convenient," Shepard confirmed, " I can't deny that."

"Ah - we've been wondering, Skipper," Ashley said. _And here it comes. _ "Kaidan and I that is. Since you didn't take us down to Presrop, and none of your aliens wants to talk - I mean, your Spectre entourage..."

"That again? Kaidan already asked me," Shepard pointed out.

"Sorry if we appear nosy," Ashley apologized, "But we're worried. Something happened down there, and nobody wants to talk about it!"

"It's... it isn't easy, Ashley," Shepard said evasively. And because it was not easy, Shepard did not want to explain any more details.

"What is on our journey?" Ashley countered. "Nothing has been easy so far. But we... I am concerned about you. About what happened to you."

"I see. I appreciate the thought. I guess it must seem odd and worrying from the outside," Shepard conceded. _Maybe I should have thought about that more. How it will look to others. I guess I'm just too used to not caring about that._

"No kidding," Ashley confirmed.

"Well, it's nice to see you care," Shepard said sincerely.

"Ah crap. Boom goes my feminine mystique." Ashley joked.

Shepard chuckled that, but he sobered up quickly again. The issue at the core of it all was no laughing matter. "Right. If you want to know. If you really want to know..."

"I do, skipper," Ashley confirmed.

"Then I'm transmitting to your omni-tool right now just what has happened on Presrop," Shepard said, sending his records of the biotics' testimonies over "Or rather, not on Presrop, but way earlier. Take a look at it. Or... maybe don't." _It's not easy to watch. _However, maybe that were just his personal feelings, so he did not say it. Instead, he ignored Ashley's puzzled look and just stepped into the elevator without further comment.

...

The _MSV Ontario_ did not respond to any further contacts. Shepard had communicated with the boarded ship a while ago, but now was the time for actions, not words. The mission to the ship would start soon, and Shepard was equipping himself. Practically needless to say his Spectre entourage would accompany him. _My personal retinue. _He had a plan what to do on the _Ontario_, but for that he needed people loyal to him and only him. And this time Wrex and Garrus would come along. A bit fear in the minds of his opponents would not be misplaced.

Once his armour fit and he had his weapons selected he walked down towards the cargo bay. Passing the first deck to enter the elevator down, he glanced Kaidan in the CIC and stopped. _I should at least talk about one thing. _As soon as Kaidan saw him, he waved the Lieutenant to him.

"Jon," Kaidan opened the conversation, "Ashley told me what you heard on Presrop."

"What you went through, too," Shepard stated.

"Yes," Kaidan agreed. "I guess I'm lucky I've been able to deal with it that well. Other people have not."

"And you never tried looking for them?" Shepard asked. It was the first thing that had come to his mind, and he tried to keep his voice as free as of accusation as possible. It had not been his responsibility, after all.

"After BAaT I disappeared for a while," Kaidan explained, "During that time I thought long about how to best use my talents. The Navy seemed to be the best place for that. Most human biotic talent is still very combat-focused. I thought the social facilities of the Alliance had no need of biotic talents, and they would surely be much better suited to take care of those people. Maybe I was wrong."

Shepard mentally scoffed. _Of course they wouldn't go to the institution which made them that way in the first place. Besides, nobody believed them anyway. _However, he wanted no further argument with Kaidan, and besides, he was not responsible for that, but rather even one of the victims.

So instead, he came to what he wanted to talk about: "There's one thing, though. At BAaT - do you remember a girl, probably already high grown back then, with thick black hair?"

"Ah... yes, that sounds like Jeanne," Kaidan answered, "Sorry, I don't remember her family name."

"Well, she doesn't go by either that or her family name any more," Shepard said, "She calls herself Tisiphone now."

"That's not a good sign," Kaidan commented.

"No," Shepard agreed. "And I let your name slip. She wasn't pleased at all about you being in the Alliance Navy now. She called you the hero of her youth." _And a traitor, she called you that, too. _But Shepard omitted that part. "She claims it was you who shot BAaT down."

"I can see why she thinks so," Kaidan answered, surprisingly surely. _I probably wouldn't be in his situation._ "Probably a lot of kids thought so back then. But it's not that easy. BAaT was shut down only almost a year after that incident she surely referred to. After I killed a person."

"In utter self-defence!" Shepard protested.

"That's true," Kaidan agreed. "It's still not what I wanted. I got pay-back, but at that time I didn't even want it any more."

"That sounds just like you," Shepard answered with a half-smile on his face.

"And the girl I tried to help..." Kaidan continued.

"Rana," Shepard said softly.

"Rana," Kaidan repeated, "She couldn't look me into the eyes anymore without fear afterward. It's funny. I don't know who got the worst of it, Vyrnnus or me. In any case, this might have been the factor that led to BAaT's and Conatix' downfall. Or not. As said, it took a full further year until something happened."

"But it isn't quite over yet," Shepard said, "Not for many people, at least. So, yes, that's what happened at Presrop."

"I understand, Jon," Kaidan answered. "What are you going to do now?"

"Save a hostage," Shepard replied, deliberately missing Kaidan's point. "I'm taking my Spectre entourage with me. Again. Not that I wouldn't trust you or Ashley, but - well, it's better if I keep my Alliance personal out of it I think."

"Given what we're talking about here I can see your reasoning," Kaidan assured him.

"Good. See you after the mission then, maybe," Shepard said.

"Good luck, Commander," Kaidan said.

Shepard took the elevator down to the cargo bay, where the others already waited at airlock.

000000

The _Normandy _and the _Ontario_ had completed their docking maneuver. Shepard had explained to his team that the biotic extremists had assured him and them free passage, due to Tisiphone vouching for him. Tali knew that nonetheless they would enter a volatile and potentially dangerous situation. _Again. _That impression only got strengthened aboard the freighter: As Shepard and his team made their way through it, they were met with lots of hostile stares by heavily armed people. Tali had faced worse, but she still was determined to not slip up in such a situation.

They found Burns in one of the rooms of the freighter - kneeling, hands above his head, a pistol aimed at him. Behind him stood a man holding the pistol. He was black skinned, bald shaved and with a short trimmed, oddly shaved beard. According to Tisiphone's files, which Shepard had relayed to his team, that was the leader of the group, the she only knew him as such, and not his name.

"Tisiphone has told me about what you did on Presrop," the man began the conversation. "Kyle is a preaching lunatic, but many biotics depend on him. So what you did there earned you a chance to be listened to. But you'll only get that one chance. Writing letters has never shown any result. Only this - " he waved the pistol aimed at Burns "- gets people's attention."

_And so it begins. _Shepard had hinted at some plan he had. Usually, his plans were not bad, but this was the actual test of it now. She just hoped he would choose his words carefully, because that was something he did not always do.

"I know. It does look that way," the Commander agreed. "But what then? You'll get the attention of people. But what will happen then?"

"The people must know what the government has done, and what it has failed to do," the biotic leader answered. "Many L2 are nearly crippled from the side-effects of the implant, yet that man decided we don't get reparations."

"But I've changed my mind!" Burns pleaded. "Seeing you all, it's c-clear that you all d-deserve..."

"You had your change!" the biotic leader interrupted him. "Now, we're doing things our way."

"People must know what the government has done," Shepard agreed. "But you won't achieve that. You'll only be called lunatics and liars. Again. And then eventually they'll catch you; you can't run away from them forever after such an action. So in the end the only thing this will accomplish is to make every L2 out there appear like a terrorist."

"So what do you propose, _Commander_?" the biotic leader asked. "That we just walk away from here? That's how it usually goes, isn't it? You promise us freedom if we just walk away, and then double-cross us."

"Ask Tisiphone," Shepard answered, "She and Kyle are free. But, no, that's not what I propose. What I'm saying is that _you_ can't do anything. However, _I _am a Spectre. I officially stand above the law. _I _can do something. If you let me."

"We had no other choices any more," the biotic leader explained, "They all just ignored us. But I don't wanna die. If you have a better idea, let's hear it."

Shepard tilted his head. "With your permission..." He walked some steps towards Burns. "Martin Burns, under my authority vested into me by the Citadel Council as part of their Special Tactics and Reconnaissance arm, I hereby place you under arrest for grave obscuration of justice."

The whole room exploded in shock.

"What?" the biotic leader blurted.

"You can't do that!" Burns exclaimed.

"Commander!" Garrus said.

"Oh goddess," Liara muttered.

_Oh keelah. That's his plan! _It was bold, it was even ruthless, but it made sense. It was just as Shepard had said: Unlike the biotics, Shepard could legally capture Burns. _But this will have consequences. _

"Your subcommittee has handled among other things biotic affairs for over a decade," Shepard explained to Burns.. "That means, you have access to classified information - yet you never acted upon it. You kept it hidden and covered up and so prevented justice from taking place."

_That's what it's about! BAaT. _Again, one could say, but Tali could not fault Shepard. Not after she had seen him on Presrop. And getting people justice was just what he did. Even if it did mean belabouring the same point over and over again.

"I understand, Commander," the biotic leader commented with respect in his voice. He stepped back form Burns and sheathed his pistol "I agree with your plan. This way, this time, something surely _will_ change."

Shepard motioned Garrus to secure Burns, and the turian did so.

"What happens to us now, though?" the biotic leader asked.

"Let me ask something else first: What happened to the crew of this ship?" Shepard inquired.

"They're alive!" the biotic leader exclaimed surprised. "We had no quarrel with them. All we wanted was that bastard. The crew members are innocent, it's not their fault what their employer did. We locked them into one of the ship rooms." He paused. "Burns had bodyguards, though, two of them. One is with the crew, but the other... he fell in our boarding action."

"I see," Shepard said gravely. And then: "I guess that's a risk of the job. However, had you killed any of the crew you wouldn't have made it out of here alive and free."

"We never wanted to hurt innocents!" the biotic leader exclaimed.

"So I see, actually," Shepard admitted. "A precise strike on the ship carrying the person directly responsible for the continuation of your ills. No bombs, no terror, no harming innocents, even though your enemy is the powerful Alliance." He slightly tilted his head. "That has earned you my respect. You're free to go."

He was about to turn, but the biotic leader stopped him: "Ah, Commander. There's one more thing. Tisiphone led you to here, but what she didn't know is that there has been a split in the meanwhile. Many among the original group thought there was no point in trying to get reparations from the Alliance. They said the Alliance would never do so, never care for us, so we have to take care of ourselves. They wanted instead to find a way to do so, by maxing out their biotic powers. And to that end... well, to that end they have taken over a Sirta Foundations facility in this cluster. And they have absolutely no concerns about hurting innocents."

"So Tisiphone led me to here," Shepard said, "and you lead me to - where exactly?"

"Chohe, in the Cacus system," the biotic leader answered. "Be careful. They spoke about using the scientists there as human shields in the inevitable Alliance counterstrike."

"I see," Shepard replied grimly. "_They_ won't get a second chance."

"I know," the biotic leader said. "They've brought that upon themselves. I don't think even Tisiphone's credentials will help you there - but if anybody can save those scientists then I think it's the hero of Elysium and Eden Prime."

"I'll have to try in any case," Shepard stated. "Thanks for the information. As for Burns, your job is done, we'll take over from here. Leave about one hour after we're gone."

The biotic leader nodded, and Shepard left, followed by his team, which held Burns securely in their middle.

000000

Burns was a nuisance the entire way back to the _Normandy_, complaining about how Shepard ho no right to arrest him, how he had never done anything wrong, how the Commander committed treason, and so on. Shepard just endured it. All he wanted from the chairman was information, so he would not treat him like an ordinary prisoner, or force him to be silent.

As he arrived at the cargo bay, he ordered Garrus and Wrex to lead Burns to the brig. He himself went to the second deck, though he did not go to his cabin. _No sense in it._ Rumours would soon start about what just had happened on the _Ontario_, and the crew knew they had set out to save a hostage. They would be able to conclude what had happened. _So might as well prepare for the inevitable storm of protests. _He seated himself at the mess table, still clad in armour, and waited.

And sure enough the storm came. Even if it was just one person. However, Ashley rushed into the mess like a flaming tornado. Her posture was stiff, her brows furrowed, her steps decisive. She came to a halt right next to Shepard, her hands akimbo.

"Is it true, skipper?" she asked "Is it true?"

As it was clear what the Gunnery Chief was talking about, Shepard merely nodded.

"You've arrested and imprisoned a member of the Alliance Parliament?" Ashley specified, "Instead of saving him from his hostage takers?"

"It's true," Shepard confirmed.

"_Why?_" Ashley asked. Or pleaded, rather.

"You've seen why," Shepard answered, "What the Alliance has done needs to be uncovered, and as chairman of the Subcommitee on Transhuman Studies, Burns is key to that. And since he himself has never acted on the information he has access to, a brief stay in the brig is not wasted on him. But point is: You've seen why."

"I have," Ashley agreed. "Kaidan said he wanted to think about it all first, before confronting you. I can understand him, he was there, wasn't he? At BAaT, I mean. But I can't sit on my ass while you do that. That's treason, Commander!"

"And what the Alliance did to the early biotics, how would you call that?" Shepard asked.

"Don't try to change the subject!" Ashley hissed. "Have you become so enamoured with your aliens that you now use them to go against the Alliance? Is your blood even still red? On whose side are you anymore?"

"W-What?" Shepard stammered. He had expected some hefty debates, but that accusation stung. He did not greatly care for the Alliance, but Ashley had just accused him of blood treason. He stood up to confront her face to face. "You' cant possibly think..."

"Oh, but I do," Ashley insisted aggressively. "In fact, I know you're quite... enamoured with aliens. Or with one, at least, but you never know. You know that can never work out, do you?"**[1]**

_That was a low blow, Ashley. _She was not wrong, though. At least not on that one particular point. "I... do, in fact," he admitted. "You're right, but I do know this."

"That's... then why..." Ashley stammered. Clearly she had not expected such an answer.

This gave Shepard the opportunity to speak up himself now: "Could you now maybe also give me the time to say something? Maybe just a minute?" Ashley waited, demonstratively stemming her hands further into her hips. "I _know _I've committed treason. Don't worry. I did so in my function as a Spectre, using, as you so rightfully pointed out, my Spectre entourage to do so. I have full responsibility; this won't harm the crew."

"That's not the point!" Ashley exclaimed. "I'm not just trying to get out of this clean. I can't allow others to sell out the Alliance like this! The Alliance needs to be strong and this, this will absolutely diminish the Alliance' standing. By letting people know what they've done, the Alliance will lose a great deal of reputation. Trust in the Alliance will absolutely be shaken. And I can't stand for that! You know I have reasons for wanting a strong Alliance. And you're a Navy officer, so should you!"

"Yeah, trust in the Alliance would be shaken - and rightfully so, wouldn't you say?" Shepard asked.

"That's not the point," Ashley argued, "it still..."

"That's _exactly_ the point," Shepard insisted. "Do you think that's patriotism? To simply hush up every ill deed your country might have done? 'My country right or wrong'? No, that's not patriotism. That's egoism. Trying to ignore everything bad your country has done just so you can feel great about it. Utter emotional egoism. True patriotism isn't 'My country right or wrong', true patriotism is making your country right!"

"You want to tell what is or isn't patriotism?" Ashley asked heatedly, "After you've just committed treason? Just grand! It doesn't matter anyway. You're a Navy officer, and as such..."

"And as such I have to ignore all Alliance crimes? Bullshit," Shepard shouted, now getting agitated himself, "Yes, I could. It's after all so easy to ignore such stuff if it never happened to you, and hey, I was lucky, it never did happen to me. But tell me, Ashley: What if you had been there, at BAaT? Hell, better yet - what if one of your sisters had been there? Lynn, maybe, or Sarah?

"Don't you dare..." Ashley growled.

Unperturbed, Shepard went on, displaying an extra calm voice: "I mean, hey, that was before their time, but just as a thought experiment: What if corporate suits had appeared at the Williams door one day, had simply taken Sarah with them, and you'd never have heard a single word from her for six years, because she's been completely isolated from the rest of the galaxy. And then one day she comes back - as a psychological wreck. Alliance personal returns her without any explanation or even so much as an apology. She's utterly traumatized, afraid of everything, with heavy changes in personalities - let's say uncontrollable aggressions or bipolar disorder, those are common side-effects of the L2."

"Stop it!" Ashley demanded.

"And Sarah doesn't manage to get it together again," Shepard continued calmly. "She's home again, but utterly broken, even though she's not even of age yet. She has been beaten, broken, terrorized, and then simply dumped off, and she has no where else to go but home. And the stories she tells - they're terrible. But nobody believes her. She's a L2 after all, you know how they are! Hallucinations, probably. Nobody believes her, believes the Williams family, what has happened to her. She just has been abused and dumped, and that's the end of it. For the Alliance, anyway, not for her: _She_ continues to have great pains, due to her implant. She's utterly unable to have a normal life hence, there are cases like that. Now imagine that and be honest: Would you in that case still say it should be ignored?"

"That was below the belt, and you know it!" Ashley hissed. She spun around on her feet to walk off.

"The story with Sarah was maybe purely hypothetical, but you know what?" Shepard asked Ashley, or rather her back. "It could have happened to me. If they had discovered my talents earlier. That's a bit less hypothetical." This made Ashley stop, but she still did not turn around again. "You didn't answer my question"

"If I had to choose between the Alliance and my family?" Ashley asked. The question still sounded aggressive, but then her voice became deeper, more serious. "I... I don't know, I hope I never get into such a situation."

"Yes, that's the point," Shepard stressed,." It's always so damn easy to ignore such crimes if they happen to _others_. Because, hey, who cares about others, as long as it's done some somewhere far away and out of sight?"

Ashley turned around and crossed her arms. "Okay, I see your point," she conceded. "But tell me - _have_ you in fact thought about what this could do to the Alliance?"

_Not really. _"Yes," Shepard answered, "As said, patriotism is trying to make your country, your people better. The Alliance government's crimes have brought pain over how many people, how many families? And that's what humanity is made up of."

"What about the Alliance standing in the galaxy?" Ashley asked, "What about what the other races will think about us? What about the Alliance's reputation? Have you thought about _that_?"

"The Alliance exists to serve humanity, not the other way round," Shepard argued. "Its standing and reputation and face are, in themselves, unimportant. What matters is protecting people. Your grandfather understood that. He sacrificed standing and reputation and pride, so that he could save people from the turians." Ashley did not respond to that. Shepard hoped that this was because he got her thinking, and not because she had taken offence again. He pressed on: "It will expose the Alliance yes. It might also shake its galactic standing, though I doubt that. But it will also send a message. It will show those in charge that those crimes backfire. It will make such crimes in the future that little bit less likely. And thus, the Alliance will have been improved."

"If you feel that strongly about the Alliance and what it has done," Ashley said, "and I can at least see where you're coming from" _Good_. "Why are you still an Alliance Navy Commander? Why don't you just quit? You _could_ do so."

"And that would change what exactly?" Shepard asked, "Would that help the L2s to get justice? Will it help all those families to whom a broken youth was returned? I don't think so."

"But what you do is illoyal. It _is_ treason! I'm just saying: Even assuming you'e completely right - you're trying to meddle into politics here. You're trying to achieve power. That's not what a Navy officer should do. There are other venues for that! Venues that don't involve treason."

"Are there?" Shepard asked further, "The Alliance let Conatix abduct and, damn, basically torture those kids, _children_, and when the 'project' ended simply dumped them to let them live a life of L2-induced pain - and then hushed that up for a decade and a half. For 15 years, the Alliance simply classified everything, denied any reparations, made sure L2 get dismissed as lunatics and liars, and generally did its best not to get confronted with the issue. So - I don't see any other venues. Sometimes you have to fight to keep people safe. Sometimes you have to surrender to keep them safe. And sometimes, you have to get and publish information about what your government has done."

"You've always been one for unorthodox strategies," Ashley conceded, "But this - this goes too far!"

"Why? Don't tell me you just want to spare embarrassment to politicians," Shepard said.

"This argument won't work twice," Ashley stated.

"It still applies," Shepard argued, "The Alliance elites, political and economical, they'll hurt from this - but then, they deserve it. Humanity, though, the great majority of it, they won't see any difference. And the L2s, they'll get justice."

"So what do you want, Jon?" Ashley asked. "Am I to just accept that you have taken an MP prisoner? That you, no matter how well you justify it, have committed treason? Against the Alliance? Hell, Jon, I can understand your justifications, but won't you understand they change nothing about the facts?

"It's a risk," Shepard admitted, "but it's mine. As I've said, I'll take full responsibility." He breathed out, and sat down again _Here comes the difficult part._ "Now - I... could understand if after this you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. If you want, I'll even see to it that you get transferred to another ship. Or alternatively, we could keep anything between us strictly official. Just say the word. But... personally, I wouldn't want that. You are a friend, Ashley. And I'd hope that as a friend you understand why I have done it."

"You're asking quite a lot," Ashley stated. Her voice was at the same time aggressive and exhausted. "You're asking a goddamn lot."

"I know," Shepard admitted. "But I had to do that. And there's no turning back now."

"Yes, you made sure of that," Ashley agreed. "There can be no turning back from what you've done. And now you're asking me to understand it. To understand... accept... maybe even support an act of treason. You made a damn fine point about it, but it's still treason against the Alliance. Or against the Alliance higher-ups, hell if I know anymore." She breathed out herself. "Listen: If you fuck this up, I won't just end our friendship. I won't just leave the ship. I'll _personally _turn you in! Is that clear?"

"I wouldn't expect anything less of you," Shepard answered sincerely.

"I need to think about this," Ashley said. "As justified as you may be, potentially, it might just be you're asking too much." She turned around, but once again stopped, and with her back to Shepard continued: "Oh, and: Skipper - sorry for what I said at the beginning, I didn't...

"You were shocked and had no idea what went on, especially as I hadn't said anything," Shepard concluded the sentence, "Hence you were incensed, and spoke in anger. I understand."

"Yes," Ashley admitted. "I never thought you'd back away from a challenge, though. I mean, you confront the Alliance government heads-on, even, but..."

"What?" Shepard asked. At first he had no idea what she was speaking of, but then he thought back to the beginning of the talk. _Her comment about Tali. Where I did just accept that it would never work. _He had never seen it from such an angle. "Oh. I, ah... hm," he stammered. Then he stood up and went to - or rather fled into his cabin.

…...

Shepard wondered how long it would take for the Alliance to notice what he had done. Things would surely get unpleasant once they had. Chances were good it would be after cleaning up the Sirta Foundation base, though. As it was in the same cluster, the _Normandy_ would merely take some hours to get there, and most of the estimated travel time had already passed.

During that time, rumours had spread through the ship like a plague. The entire crew was in an uproar. Shepard had no doubt they would still do their duty, but it was an issue of morale. He just hoped it had not become too damaged in the process.

He had not seen Kaidan yet. He did not want to push the issue. The Lieutenant had to come to him when he was ready. As for the rest of his squad, his Spectre entourage: Garrus was aghast by his open defiance of authority. This went pretty much against everything the Hierarchy stood for, everything the he had been raised in. However, Shepard knew that the turian did not always go along with authorities, either. Besides, the C-Sec officer had declared this was a human matter, not a turian one, and that hence it was absolutely not his to judge about it.

That position was similar to but more extreme than Tali's. Tali retained her opinion that she could not never differentiate between quarians and Migrant Fleet - but that for other races things might be entirely different. She recognized injustice had been done to the L2s and BAaT survivors, and that if he, Shepard, thought this injustice had to be corrected, then she would support him.

Wrex was utterly indifferent about the issue. As a warrior he thought that acting like Shepard had was the Commander's prerogative - after all it had been him on the scene, he had mastered it, and if the Alliance wanted Burns back they could come and try to get him. As a mercenary he was concerned about going against one's supplier, and about the Alliance's possible counter actions. However, purely morally he had no opinion whatsoever.

And Liara was entirely on Shepard's side. She had been present on Presrop, had witnessed some of the testimonies personally, and she was utterly of the same opinion as the Commander: Justice had to be done, those people had to be compensated, their sufferings made public - no matter laws and sensibilities. Shepard had been a bit surprised to find such a relatively ruthless streak in her, but since he held the more or less exact same position he could hardly fault her for that. It made him glad to have her full support on the matter. Since she was an asari, that bode well for his future plans.

He had set Garrus to 'work' on Burns. The turian had professional experience in interrogation, and was emotionally less invested than the Commander, so for now getting information from the chairman was his task. It was the same line of thought as it had been with Dr Wayne. Nonetheless, Shepard was considering going down to the brig to 'help' the turian, or to at least observe progress.

However, just as he was pondering doing so, a call came from Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau - or Joker, as everybody called him. "Ah, Commander? I hope I don't disturb anything you'd like to - ah, never mind." Shepard shook his head. On any other ship the pilot would probably already have been keelhauled. Metaphorically spoken. "We've got a transmission coming in from the Citadel. Top priority clearance, so you might want to take it."

"No, I think I'll let them wait. I'm not unpopular enough there yet" Shepard quipped. "Of course I'll take it! Who is it? The Ambassador"

"It's not his signature," Joker answered, "I think it's from the Council, but what do I know..."

"Well, maybe whether it has a visual feed?" Shepard asked.

"Yeah, you can take it in the comm room," Joker informed the Commander.

"Right, I'll take it there," Shepard decided.

"Right. Oh, and hello Tali!" Joker said.

"She... isn't here, Joker." Shepard responded.

"Oh, well... I thought, maybe - you gotta admit, chances weren't bad." And with that Joker ended the call.

Shepard made a face. _It really seems _everybody _knows on this ship. Or well, "knows" about something that isn't there. Not like that anyway... why do I try to justify myself in my own thoughts anyway? Ah well. Time to face the Council._

He went straight to the communication and conference room and turned on the holographic terminal. Immediately, the images of the three Councillors began to appear.

"Commander Shepard," the asari Councillor began, "We've received information that may be critical to your mission against Saren."

_Finally. _There had been a discussion for weeks now already within the squad what to do. So far, they had waited for Matriarch Benezia, Saren's main ally, to return to Noveria and catch her there, but that had not happened yet. Thus, what the Councillor had said was most welcome news for Shepard. "That's good to hear, Councillor. What is it?"

"We've received an urgent message from one of our infiltration regiments in the Traverse," the salarian Councillor explained.

"Hah," Shepard laughed, "Does the Alliance know?"

"Not the specifics," the asari answered, "but I'm sure they are well aware of the fact that there are such units within their space. Spectres tend to attract attention, but they're only one of the means available to us. We currently have several Special Tasks Groups scattered in the border regions of Citadel space; it's a standard procedure, and the Alliance knows so."

"This particular unit was gathering intel on Saren," the Salarian concluded.

"Why wasn't I told about that?" Shepard asked, "I could've used such leads."

"We can't have you racing around the galaxy chasing false leads, Shepard," the turian Councillor pointed out. "Given your tendency to cause trouble that would be problematic. We only contacted you because we think this may be significant."

"Well, I'm not here to argue the fine points of a well thought out information policy," Shepard shot back. "So, what is this significant information?"

"We cannot fully say," the salarian Councillor answered. "The message we received was little more than static. We suspect the team is currently unable to set up proper interstellar communications. _But_, it was sent on a channel reserved for mission critical communications. Whatever they were trying to tell us, we know it was important."

"We know the unit was investigating Saren," the turian Councillor continued, "We know they tried to tell us something important, and we know they were on the planet of Virmire. We can also conclude that they are in trouble, and have found something regarding Saren."

"Given you interest in that case, we thought you might want to know," the asari said.

_The Council doesn't order Spectres. It 'informs' them. _Still, this was a very important and welcome information. "I understand, Councillors," Shepard stated, "Thank you for your information, it's appreciated."

"We'll keep you advised if we learn anything else," the asari said, "Good luck on your further mission."

After the holographic images had faded, Shepard looked up Virmire on his omni-tool. An unsettled planet in the Terminus Systems, far away from any major shipping route. If he used the Council's call as justification to go there, right after freeing the Sirta Foundation outpost, then maybe he could escape the Alliance's inevitable wrath a while longer.

He was just about to return to his cabin, when he saw Kaidan entering the room.

"Jonathan," the Lieutenant greeted him. "Joker told me you're here."

Shepard was glad Kaidan had finally come, but he also was a bit worried. "I hope you haven't come to bitch me out, too."

"Hardly," Kaidan said with a smile. "So I take it Ashley reacted, well, as we should have expected her to react?"

Shepard laughed. "Yes, though it's understandable. I mean, that was quite a bomb I let explode in her lap. Well, or in yours, in general."

"It was," Kaidan agreed, "But I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. It was a shock for me. I have lived with those events for fifteen years now, and I had basically accepted that nothing would come out of it. Not that this would be a good thing, but I thought it acceptable - nothing positive would come from bemoaning it. That would only have always tied me back to that place." He paused. "You destroyed that certainty, no matter what happens now. I was a bit cross with that fact, I admit. I feared it would let me... well, relapse. I had left everything what had happened at BAaT behind me, and now I feared it would catch up to me."

"But apparently now you no longer think so," Shepard prompted him.

"No. I had come to terms with the fact that there wouldn't be any justice about it," Kaidan explained. "Now I'm not so sure about that anymore, though." He smiled lopsidedly. "After all, now you're on the case. I think you will lead this to success, too. And given the choice - given the choice, I'd rather have justice happening then having come to terms with not getting it."

"That's quite the expectation you put into me," Shepard commented.

"You have captured an important MP," Kaidan answered, "The Alliance cannot do as if nothing has happened now. And before they could reach you, you surely will already have sent the story to dozens of news channels. Regardless of how this turns out, it won't be a return to how it was before." He paused again. "I might not fully agree with your methods, but I can see why you've chosen them. After all, no other method has worked in fifteen years so far. And it _is _your call."

"So you'll support me?" Shepard asked.

"I _am _troubled by having a MP in the brig," Kaidan admitted. "After all, I chose to be part of the Alliance, and meant my oath to it honest. However, I'd even rather choose to serve an Alliance which is that little bit better and juster. And I think you might just be able to pull that off."

"I certainly hope so," Shepard answered. "But I have to try at least. I just have to."

"I can imagine," Kaidan commented, "Never let an injustice slip by, huh?"

"Well - at least not if I can help it," Shepard agreed. "I'm glad, really glad, to have you on my side in this."

Kaidan nodded, and the two men left the comm room.

…...

The cargo bay was filled by the nerve killing, insane chatter of about a dozen drugged-up scientists. They all wandered around, muttered, shrieked, kicked against parts of the ship structure or tried to pick up objects that they should really leave be. _Fortunately the guns are locked away_. Trying to reign them in was worse then trying to shepherd cats.

While Shepard was becoming quickly annoyed with the situation, it also showed what success he had reached on Chohe. The biotic extremists there had left the scientists to walk around drugged, and interspersed themselves among them. That way, they had tried to use the scientists as human shields. However, Shepard had successfully countered that with a squad fully focused on biotic power and precision: Kaidan and Liara for the former, and Ashley for the latter. Plus Tali, in case any technological obstacles would be discovered.

The mission had been a complete success: The biotics had been defeated, the outpost liberated, and the scientists all left alive. Shepard had brought them aboard so that Dr Chakwas could take a look at them. However, as much as they were evidence of his success, he already began to regret that decision. Their behaviour was not their fault, rather the fault of the drugs in their bodies, but still it was annoying.

Thus, Shepard would normally have been glad when he got a call from Pressly. However, that made things only worse: "Commander, I have Admiral Hackett on the line. He wants to speak with you ASAP, and recommends a private environment to do so. He sounded pretty serious."

_That's it then. They've learnt about Burns. _The dreaded inevitable had happened, or at least it looked like it. "Thanks, Pressly. I'll take it in my cabin."

On the way to there, Shepard tried to think of arguments. Hackett was an ally, and he would have hated to lose him as that, but he also knew that he was a loyal officer in the Admiral Navy. _Or mostly loyal, anyway... _The prospect of the Admiral turning against him made Shepard quite nervous.

The Commander had hardly activated the comm system in his cabin, when Hackett's voice already came bellowing through it: "What the hell are you doing, Shepard?"

"Well, right now I've cleared the Sirta Foundation base on Chohe, sir" Shepard reported. "No civilian casualties." He knew that was not what Hackett had meant, but he hoped reporting this success might better his chances.

"How the hell...?" Hackett asked. "I've just received the report on this. And I thought there was no way to avoid at least some civilian casualties."

"Just doing my job," Shepard answered.

"If everybody had you concept of 'just doing my job', then I don't know if the Alliance would already rule the galaxy, or be shattered completely," Hackett commented, "Probably the latter. Shepard, what the hell were you thinking imprisoning Chairman Burns?"

"I told him the charge, sir" Shepard explained. "Obstruction of justice."

"You know that's not what I meant," Hackett stated, "I know you did it as a means to an end - but both means and end can be considered treason."

"Admiral..." Shepard began, "when we worked on Cerberus... when you gathered the data about Akuze, you must have had every reason to believe that in fact it had been the Alliance doing it. An Alliance project, using Alliance scientists and Alliance equipment - everything was pointing that way. And yet you sent me to investigate, even though you knew my personal connection to Akuze."

"So I did," Hackett confirmed flatly. It was impossible to read anything in this statement.

"Even though you must have suspected the Alliance behind it, you were not willing to let past crimes slip by," Shepard continued, "How is that any different to what I do?"

"I never took a MP prisoner," Hackett answered.

_I did take it a step further, yes. _"A mere means to an end, as you've said yourself," Shepard justified himself, "And seeing how he did participate in the general hush-up - ah, sorry, 'classification of data', I won't shed a tear about him being unable to leave his cell. Bottom line is - _I _ can ask _you_ as well just what the hell you were doing."

"I protected my men." Hacket answered, "Good soldiers, who died on Akuze and Edolus. As navy admiral, this is my duty and responsibility."

"So if the crimes are against soldiers you're willing to upset the Alliance, but not if they were against civilians?" Shepard accused the Admiral.

"My first duty is to the Alliance, just as it should be for every Alliance officer," Hackett explained, "Besides that, though, any officer also has a responsibility for the men and women under his command. Or for high enough ranking officers a responsibility for any navy servicemen and marines."

"And I have a responsibility to _my_ people," Shepard claimed.

"The biotics as 'your people'?" Hackett asked, "Careful, Shepard. You're beginning to sound just like those terrorists who targeted the Sirta Foundation outpost."

"And for their terrorist activities I tried to bring them in, killed them, ultimately," Shepard answered, "But they - well, not they, they were biotic supremacists. But the people who took Burns hostage, they were right: The Alliance committed crimes against them. Those crimes must be uncovered. Justice must be served, no matter the cost."

"Be careful the cost doesn't become too high for you, Shepard," Hackett warned.

"I did what I had to do," Shepard claimed. "I'll see about the consequences now. What are you going to do, sir?"

"This call is purely unofficial," Hackett explained. "You'll soon get an official message ordering you to return to Arcturus Station to justify yourself, though."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm just about to embark on a mission for the Council," Shepard said, "We found... well, this connection might not be hundred percent safe, so I can't say, but I can assure you, I'm not just bullshitting you."

"I believe you," Hackett stated. "That might just be the worst thing about it: Despite everything you still might be our only chance against the geth attacks, and whatever Saren has planned. I don't like it, but bringing you in for your escapades might doom us all, and I can't take that risk. However, some of the political higher-ups just might."

"Understood, Admiral," Shepard confirmed, "Thanks. I'll try to be careful."

"I doubt that, Shepard," Hackett disagreed. "You were right about one thing, though: We'll see where this goes. Fifth Fleet out."

Shepard breathed out. _That has gone way better than I had feared. _He knew, however, that the issue was not over yet. He had won a small reprieve, mostly due to his mission to Virmire. _Which means I have to put things in order before going there. _ It was well possible that negative consequences were inevitable for him. But if so, he at least wanted them to have been worth it.

He left the comm room, with a clear goal in mind. _It's time I take this into my own hands. _Passing by the still blubbering scientists in the cargo bay, he made his way to the brig.

Garrus had interrogated Burns so far, but he had reported little progress in that. The problem was that Burns knew all too well that Shepard would not harm him. He had apparently realized pretty quickly that Garrus had strict orders not to do so, and besides he knew that Shepard needed him alive. Thus, the MP had no reason to spill anything, and any threats now would be unbelievable.

_Usually, that is_. However, Shepard had something in mind. As soon as he entered the brig, Burns shot up from his bench and asked aggressively: "Shepard. Have you come to finally set me free? I'm sick of your turian."

" 'My turian' has only interrogated you according to professional standards," Shepard answered, "He could also have beaten you. That's what 'your turians' did at Jump Zero."

"I had nothing to do with that!" Burns defended himself.

"You participated in hushing it up," Shepard accused him.

"What was I supposed to do?" Burns demanded to know. "Publish classified data?"

"Yes," Shepard simply replied. _I had not come to argue. _Yet, he could not stop it, either.

"You'd do so, wouldn't you?" Burns asked, incensed, "You commit treason like it's..."

"And what would you call what the Alliance did to the L2s and the kids at BAaT?" Shepard interrupted him, "Wasn't that treason against their mandate to protect humanity? Are the biotics not part of humanity, too?"

"The Alliance tried to help humanity!" Burns claimed, "Humanity's full potential must be reached, ideally with as few bloodshed as possible, and..."

_Oh you little shit. _Enraged, Shepard grabbed Burns' collar. He had quite enough of speeches about 'humanity's destiny' or other such nonsense to justify atrocities. "And for that it's okay to sacrifice children?" he shouted, "To abuse and dump them? To let them go on lives in pain, shunned by everybody?"

"Y-You have to think of the bigger picture!" Burns stuttered.

Shepard scoffed in response. "Be glad that as a rule I don't harm prisoners." _Fuck. My temper again. That had not been planned. _He let go of Burns. "However, you're only a secondary concern for me. My primary mission is to stop the geth attacks in the Traverse." _And to stop the Reapers, not that anybody believes me on that._ "So, I've come to give you a warning."

"Ah... oh?" Burns asked meekly.

"We have just concluded our mission on Chohe," Shepard explained. "Defeated the extremist biotics there, who used drugged scientists as human shields."

"I'm surprised you'd do that," Burns commented, apparently gathering courage again.

"They've harmed innocents," Shepard said, "Just as the Alliance has. But the point is now we're free to go against the geth again. And that we will. Personally, I won't kill a prisoner - but I hope you're aware that the brig is among the least secured and armoured areas of the ship? After all, it's not essential."

"Wh-What are you saying?" Burns asked.

"What I'm saying is that I won't kill you, hence won't threaten you with that, either - but if we go into battle and you're killed by a stray shot I won't shed a tear, either. It can happen, and that is our primary mission after all."

"You can't take me into battle! I d-demand to be..." Burns stammered.

"You can leave the ship at any time," Shepard offered, "But not before you've given me access to all the classified data about BAaT, the L2s, their development, the planning behind, the people behind - well, you get the idea."

"I can't do so!" Burns protested, "That would ruin - that would be treason!"

"You let people continue to suffer, I think you're hence capable of this, too," Shepard countered, "Of course, if you're unwilling, then I'll have to keep you here. And that means ferrying you into battle."

"Please, can't we work something out?" Burns pleaded.

"I already told you: Give me access to all those files, and you're free to go, I'll drop you on the nearest colony," Shepard repeated, "That is what we can 'work out'."

"But my political career..." Burns began.

"Yes, that's all you care about, isn't it?" Shepard stated.

"Don't mock me!" Burns demanded, "If you want that data you'll have to accept this fact. I can't give access to those files to you without ruining my career!"

"Oh come on, I'm sure you can think of something," Shepard prompted, "Hell, maybe I just convinced you of the error of your ways, and you've hence become a dedicated champion for biotics' right? That'll make it look like you had and have the initiative, and guarantees you a dedicated niche electorate. Just an idea from off top of my head..."

Burns scoffed at that. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

": ...but you don't need to take it, of course." Shepard continued without missing a beat, "In any case there are plenty of ways to salvage your political career. However, there's no such chance if you're dead."

"Damn you, Shepard, this will have consequences!" Burns threatened.

"It will," Shepard agreed, "And I'm willing to take them. As long as the biotics get justice."

"You want access to classified Alliance data?" Burns asked. "Very well. I can give that to you, to spare my life. If only so I can dedicate the rest of it getting revenge against you!"

_Let's leave him his threats. _As long as Shepard would get the data he was after, he would tolerate such outbursts. There was no point in trying to suppress them. Instead, he took an omni-tool out of his jacket and threw it to Burns. "That's a high-class omni-tool," he explained, "and the ship has access to an extranet relay. Don't bother trying to call for help, the omni-tool's software is heavily rigged. You pretty much can't do more then download the data and transfer it to me."

"The work of your pet quarian?" Burns asked venomously.

Shepard's eyes narrowed. It had indeed been Tali's work. However, the Commander remained silent. "Mock, if you want," he said, "as long as you do as I'm telling you."

And so Burns did.

…...

_Feros. Why does it always have to be Feros?_

Not that Shepard had anything against the planet per se, but the _Normandy_ had recently docked there for a third time on her travels. The Commander had released Chairman Burns on the planet, and had also set the Sirta Foundation scientists ashore. He also had taken some of the supplies of the temporary depot Fourth Fleet had set up here before their push against the geth incursion in the Armstrong Nebula. Thus rid of any distraction and stocked up, the _Normandy_ was now ready to go to Virmire.

Shepard had already skimmed through the data he had received from Burns. Its level of detail was glorious. Apparently, the Alliance bureaucracy could not bear not to have the smallest detail of even something like this archived, so the files he had now detailed the decision making process behind BAaT, its implementation, its goal, its methods, everything. The cynicism behind those was appalling and depressing. More importantly, the files also included actual records of the events that had happened on Jump Zero, and those were even more depressing - but just the proof Shepard needed.

So now it was time to set everything in motion, so that afterward the Commander could concentrate on Virmire. He had to give the information to the media. But before, he had to warn an acquaintance, a 'co-belligerent' - Anita Goyle, former Alliance ambassador to the Citadel, who was currently watching over the trial against ExoGeni Shepard had helped to start.

Besides, he also had questions for her: It had been her advice as an ambassador which had led to turian mercenaries and their methods of breaking the biotic children being used on Jump Zero, instead of seeking official aid from another government. So Shepard was not surprised to find her name in the files - but he was surprised in just what context. _This will be interesting_, he thought as he turned the holographic terminal on.

After a while, a flickering, monochrome image of Goyle's upper body appeared. "Commander Shepard, what can I do for you?" she greeted him.

"I've called you to give you an advance warning," Shepard explained. "Things might become a bit tumultuous, politically. Or maybe not, but at least I hope so."

"More political tumult created by you?" Goyle asked. "Even more than your abduction of an MP?"

"It's closely related to that," Shepard answered and paused for a while. "Tell me, Ms Goyle, why didn't you ever tell me it was you who shot BAaT down?"

He had found that in the files, to his great surprise. As courageous of Kaidan Alenko's action back then had been, it alone would of course never have led to BAaT's, and eventually also Conatix', end. Somebody had been needed to make use of that opportunity.

It took some while for Goyle to answer. "So you found out." she just said.

"I did," Shepard confirmed. "You used Vyrnnus' death to cause a ruckus, to warn of diplomatic consequences. That was your role as Citadel ambassador, after all, but at times you even blurred the line between warnings and threats. Conatix wanted to just go on with BAaT, but the Alliance was too afraid due to your warnings. After a year of uncertainty the project was just ended, and Conatix couldn't make up the loss of investment into it, so it eventually faltered. And yet - you didn't use that to your defence when I accused you on Earth."

"It didn't make any difference," Goyle claimed, "What that youth did, who is your now your Lieutenant Alenko, gave me an opportunity to contain my error, but nothing more. The kids lost two years of their life to that, not to mention the trauma they kept. Due to the advice I had originally given."

"Yes, your advice. Not your decision.," Shepard pointed out, "You're too hard on yourself. And maybe so was I. You even risked and ultimately lost your job so you could help those kids."

"Yes," Goyle confirmed, "Many Alliance higher-ups were not happy how I stopped their dirty little experiments, and Conatix of course massively lobbied against me for the time it still existed. That's how I lost my job and Udina became ambassador in my stead. Still, I deserved it. Not for my actions in ending BAaT, but in my role in making it a living hell for those children."

"A minor role," Shepard stated, "There were people with worse ones. However, even so, I think I can offer you a chance at redemption."

Goyle narrowed her eyes in response. "Burns," she said, "That's why you took him prisoner. What exactly are you planning?"

_Clever lady. _"The plan has already been successfully executed," Shepard explained, "But now I need you to make the most of it. I've obtained the classified files on BAaT - everything: Who initiated the project, who decided the kids must be broken, what happened there, who decided to shove the L2 implants into the kids, what those did, the deaths, the trauma - just everything. And I will go public with that."

" ...that will create political tumult indeed," Goyle commented after a shocked pause. "If you can use the right channels to make it public. But Commander, this could also..."

"I know," Shepard interrupted me. ""I remember your warning on Earth. That was a bit exaggerated wasn't it?"

"Maybe," Goyle admitted, "But the Council is using every opportunity to harass the Alliance, and that would just be one further item they could use."

"Oh, I certainly hope so!" Shepard stated, "That's what I'm basing this all on. I know the Council doesn't give a damn about the human biotics, but they'll use this to diplomatically harass the Alliance. And the Alliance doesn't care about those biotics, either, but they will care about getting the Council off their necks, so they'll hopefully do their utmost to remove the reason for the harassment."

"So you want to play out the different factions against each other," Goyle summarized, "Again. Careful, Commander, that's a dangerous game."

"The stakes are high enough to warrant a little risk," Shepard justified himself. "I _will_ protect my people."

"I understand." Goyle simply replied.

"However, I cannot watch over the situation," Shepard went on, "My primary mission, hard as that may be to believe." He smiled at that, faintly and self-ironic, " is still to do something about Saren and his pet geth. I'm about to go into battle, Ms Goyle, so I can't keep up with what will happen on Earth."

"And so you want me to watch over it instead," Goyle concluded.

"Indeed," Shepard confirmed. "I'd like to have you as my ally now, not just co-belligerent. That was all based on, well, lacking information. I know you're already busy with the ExoGeni case..."

"_That_ is an understatement," Goyle interrupted him, half aggressive and half humorous, "They're using every little, dirty legal trick in the book, so I have to encounter them on several levels. Fortunately, donations are flowing in for me to fight the good fight, so I can keep up with them - but it is quite time intensive to coordinate a legal multi-front war. In fact, we already have leased an entire office building to house all the staff. And now you want me to take a look at that issue as well. I'm feeling like heading a ministry, the Ministry of Shepard Affairs!"

Shepard had to laugh at that. "Okay, I see what you mean."

"I've looked at creating a foundation for all this," Goyle explained, "This would make getting donations so much easier, and it could then all be done in the foundation's name, instead of mine. I think such a foundation could also include the fight for biotic rights."

"Ah... that _would_ make things easier," Shepard answered, "Thing is - I'm on a dangerous job out here. A job in which I could die. I don't have many worldly possessions, but I have set up a last will that would bequeath you most of those, under the condition they're used in the legal battle against ExoGeni, or in the battle for biotic rights." A large portion was bequeathed to Tali, and the rest were mostly symbolic tokens for several other acquaintances and for far too few friends. He did not think this overy morbid - there was a realistic chance he would die, after all. And that just was no excuse for not continuing his fights. "I think the entire process would be better if you had a foundation."

"I see," Goyle replied, "Yes, yes, it would. So I guess I can then formally found the Ministry of Shepard Affairs."

Shepard laughed again. "I don't think that name would be prudent, PR-wise."

"Probably not," Goyle conceded with a faint smile. "So, you will make the Alliance's little dirty secrets public. What then? You're not the type to not have thought of what will happen then."

"If we're lucky, it will create a moral outrage," Shepard answered, "Even if not, then hopefully Council pressure will lead to the Alliance doing something. Thing is, the Alliance could still just sit the entire issue out. So, somebody has to keep the social debate going, if you know what I mean."

"I see. Yes, it's an opportunity to be used, with a narrow time window. So I can understand why you would want me to take over that job," Goyle commented.

"Exactly," Shepard confirmed. "Otherwise we end up with some meager, meaningless reparations to the L2s and BAaT survivors, and maybe some trials for designated scapegoats, nothing more. But if somebody were to bring up the issue again and again, with ideas what could be done..."

"...then these ideas could become items of public pressure," Goyle concluded, "Or Council pressure. I understand. What exactly do you have in mind?"

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to figure most of it out," Shepard answered. "But, well - the reparations for example. Find ways to raise them as high as possible. Wrongful imprisonment for the whole time BAaT was running, heavy abuse for when the turians were there, the L2, the Alliance's organized campaign of misinformation and slander, interest rates - I'm sure you'll find plenty."

"A challenge," Goyle commented. "I like challenges. And since I already have a legal staff assembled I can get some expertise. I don't know how much can be reached, but the maxim of 'Demand much to gain something' can certainly be applied."

"Yeah, I don't expect total success, either," Shepard agreed, "but as you say, we should try to get as much as possible. In many cases BAaT, L2 or both destroyed those people's lives, so they deserve life changing reparations. Ideally of the 'never need to work again' kind but things would have to really go optimal for that."

"Agreed," Golye stated.

"Now, same for trying everybody involved," Shepard continued, "In my opinion it's always most important to get the higher-ups, the people who gave the orders rather than those who executed them, but that's problematic of course. But you can push on. See how high up you can get with trials."

"Oh this will be fun," Goyle said sarcastically. "Especially since it's not only people in the Alliance, but those formerly in Conatix, too. Well, I always do relish the chance to go against the megacorporate world. Alright, I get the picture. Standard procedure, basically, if difficult standard procedure."

"There is one further thing where I might have an original idea," Shepard spoke up again. "The L2 implants themselves. I understand upgrading to L3 is highly dangerous to one's very life. However - those L2s were introduced while the turians were already on Jump Zero. Before the kids had the old L1 implants. So that upgrade was apparently very unproblematic. Downgrades should be possible, too hence, but nobody is manufacturing L1s anymore."

"Of course not!" Goyle scoffed, "L1s offer only very weak amplification. No side-effects, but no real biotic powers, either. And that's what both the Alliance and Conatix wanted: Working biotics. As many of them as possible."

"Exactly," Shepard agreed, "but this could really help the L2s. Bring up the idea of refitting everybody of them who wants with L1 implants. Free of charge, of course, since it's only necessary due to what the Alliance has done."

"Oh, the Alliance will fume," Goyle commented, "It will de facto mean fewer working biotics. But it's such a logical demand that they will hardly be able to deny it. Very good."

"Yes," Shepard agreed, "The Alliance would rather have that people suffer, because of things they forced on them, then to let the total number of working biotics drop. Fuck'em." He breathed out. "Well, I think you can figure out the rest from here."

If Goyle was fazed by that sudden drop in language level, she at least did not show so. "I do. This will increase my workload even further, but..." She became quieter "I know why it must be done."

"Thank you, Ms Goyle," Shepard said, "This does make it easier to go into battle now."

"Good Luck, Commander," Goyle concluded the conversation and ended the call.

_I'll need it_.

Next, Shepard called a person from the list of contacts Emily Wong had compiled for him. The image of an asari appeared on the holographic terminal.

"Ah, Commander Shepard," the asari said, "Emily has told me about you." She sounded genuinely said when she spoke of the dead reporter. "You said you have some information for me?"

Shepard grinned and nodded.

**000000**

**[1] A little homage to Spectre by Precept. Go read it, it's a very good story. And I'm truly sorry for what must seem like copying a lot of it so far: Title, ME 1 Shepard/Tali relationship, 'special' relationship to Cerberus - I swear, that's all been coincidental ;)**


	21. Ch21: Virmire I: The Arrival

The Terminus Systems were by definition those parts of the galaxy that were explored, but not under control of the Citadel. The name covered a fairly coherent territory making up roughly a third of the galaxy. By and large it was an anarchic region, without a central government, or in fact many legitimate governments at all. The main powers inside it were raiders and pirates, who subsided on raids into Citadel territory and on stealing from each other. Conflicts between those powers were frequent, yet they all agreed on one thing: To keep the Council out.

Citadel ships or ships of Citadel powers were not welcome in the Terminus Systems, and even old enemies could band together very quickly to throw them out. That was what the turian Councillor had been so concerned about in the discussion on how to deal with Saren: A concerted Citadel military action near the borders of the Terminus Systems could steer the local warlords up enough for them to band together and start a galactic war.

Yet, not all parts of the Terminus were the same. Some had seen in their history a regular presence of Citadel troops or at least Citadel representatives. The cluster known to humanity as Sentry Omega was one such example. For centuries it had been the border between Citadel Space and the Terminus Systems, and a fairly important border at that: Even though it had taken human efforts to colonize the Attican Traverse, the Citadel had managed for generations before to keep the region free of the Terminus warlords, not because they were interested in the area, but rather to keep the power of the Terminus Systems low.

As part of those efforts there had been several attempts to colonize the planet of Virmire, Sentry Omega's only garden world. Those efforts had always failed due to the political instability of the Terminus, but even so, a periodical Citadel presence was considered normal in this Cluster. It would not be as problematic as a journey to just about any other point in the Terminus.

Shepard was glad about that. For one, it would make his mission on Virmire that much easier. And second, that mission would allow him to be in the Terminus, outside of Citadel space, for some time. To lay low while the newest scandal made public by him was hitting the Alliance. He had imprisoned MP Burns, Chairman of the Subcommittee on Transhuman Studies, to gain access to all the classified files on BAaT - and then had used asari media to make those files public. He had let the entire galaxy see the crimes committed as part of that program..

No doubt the Alliance would want his head for that. At least metaphorically spoken. They could not try him, since as Spectre he was above the law. They could kick him out of the Navy and take the _Normandy_ from him, though. They could generally make his life and his mission a hassle. So he was quite content with doing a mission in the Terminus for now, far away from the Alliance.

A salarian Special Tactics Groups regiment on Virmire had discovered a large facility that belonged to Saren there, but the call they had made to the Council had been incomplete. The Council in turn had relayed that information to Shepard, and so the _Normandy_ had entered the cluster. In fact, she already had made a fly-by of the planet under full stealth, to gather data. Currently, the ship was hiding in orbit of Cloroplon, a small gas giant of Virmire's system. Shepard had called together the ship's officers in the conference room, plus Tali as resident geth expert. Lieutenant Moreau, known as Joker, was present via the ship's communication system.

Shepard's rogue actions had caused some tensions on the ship. Especially Navigator Pressly, the XO, very much disagreed with them, and Shepard knew others were discontent as well. This had so far not influenced the functionality of the ship; everybody still behaved perfectly professional. But it had led to a stiff and uncomfortable atmosphere on board.

Shepard cleared his mind of that thought. He knew everybody would do their job, and he had a conference to focus on.

The holographic terminal in the conference room displayed a map of the area around Saren's base. It was a coastal region full of rocks, cliffs and saltwater canyons which often seemed to be the only accessible paths there. This had made it easy for the ex-Spectre to surround its facility proper with a wide zone of defences, which included outposts, gatehouses and anti-air towers. There had also been weaker signals from the region. Most likely those were the salarians, and it appeared they had become stranded within the security zone.

"If that's true," Pressly commented, "then they must be in a constant siege situation."

"They need help as soon as possible," Shepard agreed.

"But if we just tried to land the AA towers would shred us to pieces," Engineer Adams pointed out.

"Yes," Shepard agreed. "But land we must, if only to get them out. And our primary objective is contacting them anyway. So we need to punch a hole through the security zone."

Joker's voice came through the comm system: "I could fly the ship below the radar and drop a ground team. It wouldn't be the first time you've defeated masses of geth."

Pressly narrowed his eyes and pointed to a point on the map. "If the _Normandy_ were to fly this way, there would only be two towers to disable. It's possible."

"Yeah, but I think you make this more complicated as it is," Shepard said, "Those are anti-air guns, not anti-space guns. There is no such thing. So, why not let the _Normandy _take them out?"

"Per space bombardment?" Pressly asked stiffly.

"Why not?" Shepard argued. "We need to get to the salarians to find out what has happened, and we need to destroy that base. And so far, the _Normandy _hasn't been detected. So I say, the ship punches us a way through to the salarians, we evacuate them, and then we pound the base into dust from orbit."

"So far, every time the _Normandy_ has engaged geth ships, stealth has held," Tali commented. "So it would be possible - we could attack anything on the ground under the cover of stealth. But perhaps it would be a bit... unsubtle."

"You've ordered orbital strikes before," Pressly conceded, "but this is different. Virmire is a garden world. Per Citadel law, orbital bombardments of garden worlds are forbidden."

"We're not inside Citadel jurisdiction, though," Shepard argued, "and I don't know why I should endanger my men only in order not to fire on an uninhabited planet."

"There is one reason, Commander," Kaidan pointed out. "Starting an orbital bombardment would alert any geth forces in the system to us. That's the problem with unsubtle methods."

"To be fair, so would destroying the AA towers from the ground, too, though", Adams disagreed.

"I think there's a difference in grade," Kaidan argued. "Besides it would tell our enemies that we have in fact a warship with us. Maybe we should try to keep this fact hidden as long as we can."

"That's a good point, Lieutenant," Shepard conceded. "However, if we strike hard and fast it shouldn't be a problem. As said, the next steps would be evacuating the salarians and bombing the base."

"Ideally, yes," Kaidan agreed, "but you know what they say: No plan survives the first contact with the enemy."

"That's true for the alternative as well, though," Shepard pointed out. "A below-radar fly-in from the _Normandy_, a Mako drop at just the right position, and then the fight through the defences... at least with a bombardment from space we know those defences will be gone."

"So what do you suggest, sir?" Pressly asked.

"Draw up fire solutions for a mobile, far distance bombardment of those two AA towers," Shepard answered. "Keeping the _Normandy_ hidden under stealth has absolute priority. Once that's done, we'll fly to the planet under maximum acceleration, and quickly drop the ground team - that is, the marine detachment, my Spectre entourage and me. And then the _Normandy_ will leave again and hide behind Virmire's moon, to be called whenever we need her. Which most likely would be the evacuation. But minimizing the risk of her being caught pinned down on the ground is another high priority."

"A hard and fast strike, instead of a subtle and elegant maneuver," Kaidan commented grinning, "Well, I'm sure Chief Williams will like this, at least."

"Any more questions or objections?" Shepard asked.

"No, sir," Pressly announced, even though his posture and voice made it clear he was not all too happy about the plan. Joker, Tali and Adams all remained silent.

"Very well," Shepard concluded the conference. "Pressly, work out those fire solutions. Alenko, prepare the marines and have them waiting in the cargo bay. Tali, do the same with Garrus, Liara and Wrex. Adams, prepare Engineering for combat conditions. And Joker, get the ship into position."

A chorus of 'aye-ayes' answered him.

…

The _Normandy_ came to a halt just about a metre over Virmire's coastal waters, only some dozens meter away from the salarians. Already during the descent the cargo bay's hatch had been opened, and now Shepard, his Spectre entourage and the ship's regular marines were jumping outside, into the ankle-deep water.

The scenery in front of them was breath-taking. The water glistered in sun light, and lush green vegetation grew on the nearby cliffs, and on several large rocks standing isolated among the ocean water. A sand beach directly in front of them made the picture complete. _If this planet were inhabited it would have a hell of a tourism industry. _As it was, though, the beach was used otherwise: The salarians had built up their camp there.

Shepard was among the first to move out, and he saw that their arrival had thrown the salarians into utter confusion. There had been no possibility to contact them without breaking stealth, so it was only natural that the STG regiment now feared the worst. They were hastily gathering and moving out from the camp to encounter the new arrivals. Shepard waved some of his men to come with him, and walked to meet the salarians. Behind him, the Mako was unloaded, as the last item from the ship, and afterward, the _Normandy _shot up into the air again.

Tali, Wrex, Kaidan and a further marine were behind the Commander as he reached the STG - whose members were now standing in formation, had their weapons drawn and were aiming at them. In front of them stood a slender, green-skinned and white-armoured man.

"I'm Captain Kirrahe, 3rd Infiltration Regiment STG," he announced himself. "Identify yourself."

"Commander Jonathan Shepard, Systems Alliance and Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Council," Shepard replied, "I'm here to investigate your status."

The salarians put down and sheathed their weapons, but Kirrahe did not seem very happy. "Investigate? That's a repetition of our task. And not a very good one, either. Are you responsible for the destruction of the nearby geth facilities?"

"That is correct," Shepard answered.

"You have used orbital bombardment on a garden world?" Kirrahe asked, "Even a Spectre might find he's not entirely above most basic Citadel laws."

"We're outside the Citadel's jurisdiction," Shepard pointed out, "This planet has no inhabitants. Yet I'm to risk my men's lives just so it doesn't get a scratch?"

"Your simplistic approach to warfare has every AA tower in a radius of fifteen kilometres alerted to your presence!" Kirrahe protested.

"That just means we need to act fast," Shepard replied. "The _Normandy_ can return at a minute's notice and evacuate us all."

"We can't leave," Kirrahe claimed, "We have to wait for Council reinforcements."

"We are the reinforcements," Kaidan spoke up.

"What?" Kirrahe exclaimed. "You're all they sent? I told the Council to send a fleet!"

"Unfortunately, your signal was damaged," Shepard explained. "That's why we were sent in to investigate."

"I lost half my men investigating this place," Kirrahe claimed. "What needs to be done now is to destroy it."

"That would be the next step in my plan," Shepard explained, "Ask you about the status, evacuate you, bomb the base to dust." He could not quite suppress a cocky grin from appearing on his face. Probably things would not go so easy, but he had to admit, it felt great saying such a sentence.

"Another orbital bombardment?" Kirrahe asked. "I cannot stand for that. There must be alternate solutions. If you're all the Council has sent, then I need some time to figure out a plan, but I do think there needs to be a second option besides what you've proposed, Commander."

"I'll listen to it, of course," Shepard promised, "In the meantime, tell me, what's your status. What have you found out?"

"We've discovered Saren's base of operation," Kirrahe explained, "He's set up a research facility here, but it's crawling with geth and very well fortified."

"Research?" Shepard asked, "What could Saren be researching?"

"A very dangerous subject," Kirrahe claimed, "He's using the base to breed an army of krogan."

_What? But that's impossible, the krogan... - _However, Wrex reacted quicker than Shepard. He walked some steps forward and asked: "How is that possible?"

Unfazed by the krogan battlemaster in front of him, Kirrahe went on: "Apparently, Saren has discovered a cure for the genophage."

"A cure for the genophage?" Shepard echoed, "That's... well, that's something historical. Big news." _This goes further than just Saren. _He really did not know what else to say.

"Unfortunately, it would also make Saren nearly unstoppable," Kirrahe pointed out, "His geth are already bad enough. If he also gets an endless supply of krogan, then his forces will be next to invincible. This base and all of its secrets must be destroyed."

"Destroyed? I don't think so," Wrex disagreed. Shepard knew the krogan had to be highly agitated at the news, but outwardly he appeared totally calm. At least so far. "Our people are dying. This cure can save them."

"If that cure leaves the planet, the krogan will become unstoppable," Kirrahe argued. "We can't make the same mistake again."

Taking some further steps forwards, Wrex came to a halt directly in front of Kirrahe and pointed his finger at him. "We're not a mistake!" he announced angrily and walked off.

Kirrahe watched him leave without comment, still unfazed even after having had an organic warmachine right in his face, and then turned to Shepard again and asked. "Is he going to be a problem? We already have enough angry krogan to deal with."

"What do you expect?" Shepard asked. "Krogan numbers have been dwindling for centuries due to that marvelous salarian invention, the genophage. That issue is the most important thing in the galaxy for his people."

"I'm well aware of the krogan issue, Commander Shepard," Kirrahe answered stiffly, "I'm worrying about the safety of our mission here. Everything else is secondary right now."

"I already told you my proposal for concluding the mission", Shepard pointed out. He was not entirely sure about it anymore, though. _If the facility truly does have a cure of the genophage, a salvation for the krogan people..._

"And I'm still not content with it," Kirrahe argued. "Let me come up with a counter-proposal. In the meantime, why don't you go talk to your krogan friend. Your men can make themselves at home in the camp."

Shepard shrugged and nodded agreement. Without a further word, the salarians turned and returned to the camp that was only some few meters behind them, followed by most of Shepard's men. Said camp was not much - just some tents along a shoreline. It were stable looking high-tech tents, though, and Shepard had no doubt people could make themselves comfortably at home in them for at least a limited amount of time.

He began walking towards Wrex. Worldlessly, Tali followed him. He did not protest, as he certainly did not mind her presence. Recently, when talking to the quarian Ashley's words had echoed through his minds. The Gunnery Chief had stated her surprise at Shepard's plain acceptance that a relationship with Tali could never work. According to Ashley, simply accepting bad things as a fact was not at all like him. Ever since then, Shepard had felt like a coward for not bringing up the subject of their emotions to Tali. So far he had not, and now an important mission and an angry krogan were in front of them.

The beach area where the _Normandy_ had landed was typical for this region of the planet, according to what the ship's sensors had gathered. Land and ocean blurred into each other here. The ocean was shallow everywhere where it met the coast, and everywhere large rocks and cliffs loomed over it. Around Saren's base, the ocean even formed veritable canyons among the cliffs, and those were in fact often the only way to move through the area at all, which allowed the geth to secure them with gatehouses and other outposts.

However, looking at the scenery, it was nearly inconceivable that it should be used for such martial aims. With the sun illuminating the coastal area the surroundings appeared completely serene, a painting of blue, yellow, green, grey and white. _Too bad the Council never managed to get this planet settled_ Shepard thought as he approached the krogan.

It took some time until Wrex noticed the human and the quarian. When he did, he turned towards them and said: "This isn't right, Shepard. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

"We can't let Saren have it, either, though," Shepard argued. "You know what he stands for. Let him win, and the krogan won't be around long enough to enjoy the cure."

"That's a chance we should be willing to take!" Wrex disagreed, "This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about!"

"I understand that, Wrex," Shepard said. "I'm not saying we should destroy the cure. I'm just saying we can't let Saren have it."

"The salarians will accept no alternative to the utter destruction of the cure," Wrex pointed out.

"The salarians are not in command," Shepard replied, "Not really. I have the ship, the crew, the means, not them. I'm in command."

"And you would give the krogan a cure for the genophage?" Wrex asked. "I've been loyal to you so far. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But this is too important, I need to be sure about it."

"No," Shepard admitted. "Kirrahe is right on one thing: If the genophage were cured _now_, there would instantly be war again. I know it, you know it. What _do _you think will happen if news of that cure were to spread on your homeworld?"

"Chaos," Wrex answered, "Centuries of suppressed hate against the galaxy being released. I know what follies my people are capable of. I've seen them. You've made your point Shepard. But what would you do instead?"

"It would still be a crime to _destroy_ the cure," Shepard insisted, "It's somewhere in that base, and we have to get it."

"You would really go behind the salarians and secure the cure?" Wrex asked.

"Yes," Shepard confirmed. _Why can't anything be easy any more? _Again he would act against allies. However, destroying that cure _would_ be a crime. The krogan were dying, the fate of an entire species was at stake here. "And once it can be given to your people without risking to start round two of the krogan wars, then it should be done."

"I'm not sure that can ever be reached," Wrex said, "but if the reward is getting free of the genophage, it might just be worth fighting for regardless. But that only works if we can save that cure."

"Well, so much for my plans for an orbital bombardment," Shepard commented with a lopsided grin. "It seems we have to enter the base." He became utterly serious again: "However, first priority must still be denying that cure to Saren. Even if it means, in the worst case scenario, that it gets destroyed."

Wrex immediately became suspicious again. "And who decides what the worst case scenario is? The salarians?"

"Wrex, if Saren has the cure he can use it to enslave your people!" Shepard argued. "And you know he'd just be using you as tools. Just as the Council has, and look how that ended. You'd be used again. Is that what you want?"

Wrex remained silent for a long while. Shepard did not push him. Finally the krogan said: "No. We were tools for the Council once. To thank us for wiping out the rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren would be so generous." He straightened himself. "You're right, denying the cure to him must be first priority. But short of letting Saren have it we must do everything to obtain it!"

"That we will. We will try to get it," Shepard promised, "You have my word on it. We'll enter the base and obtain the cure, and that all hopefully without the salarians noticing."

Tali spoke up in a humorous tone: "The Alliance, the Council, now the salarians - you're really not easy on your allies, Jon, are you?"

Shepard sighed. "Don't remind me of the mess that awaits me once we return from this planet. The Alliance will already be waiting for me due to the incident with Burns." He turned to Wrex again. "Let's just hope the salarians won't notice anything. Come, let's see what plan Kirrahe has. If it's a ground assault plan I might just agree with him, even if for totally different reasons."

…

When Shepard finally entered the salarian camp, he noted that his ground team had already taken up positions in the various tents. He himself headed straight towards the largest one, which he assumed was the command post, an assumption verified when he encountered Captain Kirrahe there, plus some further salarians. There was little else in the tent besides the aliens, few furniture and equipment. It looked positively barren.

The Captain noticed his approach very quickly. "Have you spoken with the krogan?" he asked.

"Yes. He won't be a problem," Shepard answered. "Have you devised an alternate plan?"

"Of sorts. It's maybe not much more subtle than your idea," Kirrahe admitted, "We just don't have the necessary resources to do subtle. Instead we have to go for crude, but effective: We can convert our ship's drive core into a twenty kiloton ordinance."

"And then what?" Shepard asked, "Anything that nuke can do good old mass accelerated rocks from space can do, too."

"Not easily," Kirrahe disagreed. "The base is well fortified. After enough hits it would crumble, but for how long could your ship sustain a bombardment without getting detected? Your Lieutenant Kaidan told me about your ship' stealth abilities, but they're insufficiently tested in actual combat operations."

"You make a good point," Shepard conceded. After all, he planned to eventually agree to a ground assault. Not because he thought that the better variant to destroy the base, but because it would give him a chance to obtain the genophage cure. "What do you suggest instead?"

"There are geothermal taps on the other side of the base," Kirrahe explained, "If the nuke were to be placed there, even the base's fortification couldn't withstand the destruction. The problem is getting it to there. Your ship can play a role in that, it would transport the nuke. However, first all AA towers in the area must be disabled and any ground forces must be pacified. In order to do that, we must infiltrate the base."

_And that's the fault in his plan. _But also Shepard's opportunity. If _his_ men were to infiltrate the base, they could get their hands on the genophage cure. "And how do we do that?" the Commander asked, "An attack on foot?"

"We don't have the numbers to take them in a heads-on attack," Kirrahe disagreed, "I'd divide my men into three groups and hit the front side of the facility. That should be enough to convince the geth of a major assault. Meanwhile, you'd command 'Team Shadow' and sneak your men into the back of the facility."

"Sounds risky," Shepard commented. "And it only works if you can convince the geth that you're the main attack. Can you in fact do that with what you have available?"

"No," Kirrahe admitted, "Part of my plan would call for some of your men to supplement ours. Three or four of your soldiers, to form up half a team. Whoever you assign to this would be given command of that team, of course."

_This is getting better and better. _"Supplement your forces in the killing zone," Shepard commented.

"I'm afraid so. I don't think many of us will make it out alive," Kirrahe said, "But I still think this plan has a higher chance of success than yours, Commander. And even if it fails we can still use your plan as a back-up, as long as your ship gets away."

Shepard did not like the plan. It basically relied on the salarians, and whoever he sent with them, getting slaughtered as a diversion. However, it was a workable plan for a ground assault, just what he needed. What bothered him was that he thus would risk his men's life, would even lose men, not to defeat Saren, but to help the krogan. That was not what those people had signed up for.

Still, it was the only way to obtain that data.

"You're right," Shepard hence said after some hesitation. "If need be, the _Normandy_ can still try to destroy the facility from orbit. Your plan has a back-up. Mine doesn't. Very well. I'll speak with my men and will then send some to you."

"Of course, Commander," Kirrahe answered. "Take your time to choose them. I know that you'll have need of your best troops inside the base, but we could use some endurable and tough fighters to draw fire. Also, take your time to prepare your men. This will be a difficult mission."

"On that we absolutely agree," Shepard confirmed and went outside.

He walked among the tents pondering the issue. The selection of the right people for the job was crucial. Not only for the mission's success, but also due to questions of loyalty. If the secondary mission, getting the genophage cure, was a success, and if somehow it got known that Shepard had that cure in his possession, then the Commander had no doubt he would be very, very dead very, very quickly, Spectre or not.

Thus it was clear he had to use his Spectre entourage as his base force. He trusted them more in such matters than the regular marine detachment. Which meant part of the marines had to go with the salarians. _So that I can obtain a cure for the krogan. Really not what they've signed up for. _That lasted rather heavily on him. He knew the mission was more important than individual lives, but he would not discard their lives for the sake of the mission, but rather for the sake of the krogan. If it were just the mission he would still have opted for simply destroying the base from orbit.

However, there just was no alternative. Leaving the krogan without a cure to be potentially used later would be even worse then sending soldiers to their death.

He found Kaidan and Ashley in one of the tents, talking. He waved both over to them, and had them follow him to a covered niche in the cliff behind the camp.

"I'm feeling like in a secret agent vid here," Ashley mock-complained as they walked.

"You should," Shepard answered seriously. That made the Gunnery Chief fall silent.

When they finally reached the cliff, Shepard stopped in a small niche of it. Grey walls loomed above them, casting a deep shadow on them. Some of the lush vegetation growing atop the cliff hung over its edge, directly over the heads of the small group.

Kaidan spoke up: "So, what's the matter, Jonathan? What did Kirrahe tell you?"

"Kirrahe has devised a plan to destroy the base by using a well-placed improvised nuke," Shepard explained. "In order to place it, though, we have to infiltrate the base, while the salarians will mount a distraction attack."

"Taking out the base from the ground?" Ashley asked, "That's not usually your style, skipper. Not if you could also just use the _Normandy_. What gives?"

"As always, the issue has become a bit more complicated than we had thought it would be," Shepard answered, "There'll be a secondary objective. But the salarians mustn't know of it!"

"Oh here we go again..." Ashley muttered.

Kaidan smiled at the Chief's comment and asked: "What is it this time?"

"You've heard Kirrahe," Shepard said, "Saren has a working cure for the genophage. I want to secure it, not destroy it."

"What?" Ashley exclaimed. "If the Council hears of that..."

"Not so loud!" Shepard hissed. "You're right. That just means the Council mustn't find out. But think tactically. What's usually the better objective? Capturing the target, or destroying it?" Shepard figured that was a better approach to take with Ashley than to bring up the krogan's plight.

"Okay, fair point," Ashley conceded, "And then what? What do you want to do with your captured target?"

"I won't give it to the krogan, if that is what worries you," Shepard replied, "I know that would just instantly mean round two of the Krogan Rebellions. Galaxy-wide war. No, that mustn't happen. But we can hold it in reserve. Until such a time it's safe to use it." His voice darkened. "Or when we might need krogan mass armies again. Like against the Reapers."

This was not his primary reason for wanting to save the genophage cure. His primary reason was in fact not about usefulness but purely about ethics: He did honestly feel destroying the cure if there was an alternative would be a crime. However, he had no problems arguing his point that way, too. It was true, after all. _Should the Reapers really come we might need the krogan. _

"I shouldn't be surprised anymore," Ashley commented and shook her head "Yet I am."

"We're newcomers on the galactic stage, Commander," Kaidan pointed out, "Do you really think it's wise to get involved in old conflicts?"

"We're newcomers, but we can't act as if we're not yet fully part of the galactic scene anymore," Shepard argued, "And the krogan numbers _are _dwindling. This might just be their rescue. Maybe their only one. That makes the cure a very valuable object to hold in reserve"

"That's true," Kaidan conceded, "As long as it is kept in reserve and kept secret it might be of great use in the future. But it's risky of course."

"But then, what isn't? Seems like everything has been risky one way or another since the geth attacked Eden Prime" Ashley said, "I don't want to argue with you again, skipper. It's your call. And I can see the value of your... extended objective."

"Well... good," Shepard replied, somewhat surprised. He had expected a discussion. "It's not easy, though. If it were not for that secondary objective, I would simply have the _Normandy _bomb everything. Thus, people now might die just so the genophage cure is saved."

"_Ours is not to reason why, ours but do and die,_" Ashley quoted with a humourless grin.

Shepard sighed. "That might well happen. Kirrahe doesn't have enough men for a convincing distraction, so he asked for some men of mine. I've decided to split the marines - one half under the command of each of you. One will stay with me, one will go with the salarians. And that salarian distraction attack most likely will be bloody."

"I should go," Kaidan volunteered. "The two teams need coordination, so a liaison officer will be required."

"I agree," Shepard said, "if that's all that were required, a liaison, I'd send you. However, you'd be taking part in the assault on the base's front side. That requires the ability to both dish out and take heavy damage. And with all due respect, I think that's rather Ashley's niche."

"I'll go," Ashley confirmed decisively.

And maybe a little too enthusiastically, or so Shepard judged. "No heroics, Ash!" he ordered. "You'll take Privates Ramirez and Bethlen with you. As I understood Kirrahe, that will be half of one team, one of three he'll use, and you'll be given command of that particular one."

"Understood, skipper," Ashley replied. "Don't worry. I won't charge head first into battle, I know we're only the distraction."

"Very well," said,. "Since the _Normandy_ has alerted the geth, we need to act fast. The assault will be in a few hours. Prepare yourselves!"

"Aye-aye, sir," Ashley confirmed. Kaidan merely nodded.

"Oh and Ashley?" Shepard continued, "You'll be my eyes and ears among the salarians. If they do anything that could endanger our... secondary objective tell me, but of course keep that objective a secret under any circumstances!"

"Will do, skipper," Ashley said.

Shepard nodded and walked off, towards the tents again.

His mind was still heavy with concern. It would have been so easy to simply bomb Saren's base from orbit, from a safe distance the AA guns could not reach, under the cover of stealth so the geth could not react to it. Kirrahe's plan gave an opportunity to Shepard to obtain the genophage cure - but it almost certainly also meant that people would die, and that soon. Attacking a base as well fortified and staffed as Saren's, with merely the sorry remnants of an infiltration regiment and the ground team of a single frigate - Shepard had no illusions about the odds: It would be bloody, and there was a chance for total failure.

He had written down his last will and sent it to the Notary's Office of the Navy, and he accepted the possibility of his own death. Thus he felt as though he should be well prepared for it. However, there was a nagging thought at the back of his hand; a doubt that had been planted by Ashley some days back. There was one issue he had not settled yet, one issue where he truly had been a coward so far.

And it was time to settle it now. It was possible there would not be a chance for it later.

After walking between the tents for some time he finally found the person he was looking for, the person who meant so much to him.

"Tali," he greeted her, "do you have time to talk?"

000000

Since landing on Virmire, Tali had been taken aback by the beauty of the place. Their landing place at the coastline seemed to have the best of two worlds: The ocean, appearing as infinite as space but more lively and glistering in sunlight, and the even more lively, green vegetation atop rocks and cliffs. She had come to appreciate the natural beauty of garden worlds on her pilgrimage, and she knew she would miss it once back on the Flotilla.

It was a depressing thought, maybe even an unnecessarily depressing thought, considering that was still in the future, but it fit to her mood. She had heard how Shepard has promised to Wrex to save and obtain Saren's cure to the genophage. She knew that hence Shepard would not try to destroy the base from orbit, but on the ground. And she knew that this meant the upcoming battle would be quite bloody.

She also knew that if given the opportunity, Shepard would do the same for her people as he was doing now for the krogan, and that the krogan had been victims of Council politics just as much and even more than her own people. So she could not argue against the Commander's decision. It was the right thing to do - but as always the right thing to do was also the difficult thing to do.

She was well aware she could die on this mission. If she did, she had no doubt Shepard would find a way to get the geth data to the Flotilla. She was ready to contribute everything to the mission, including her life. However, she felt a strange desire to let Shepard know this. To reassure him, support him. And maybe to be reassured by him.

She grinned ironically at her own thoughts. She had always prided herself on her self-reliance. And truthfully, she did not _need_ reassurance. _However, it feels nice... _

She knew there were so many things left unspoken between her and Shepard. It was probably for the better, though. She would eventually return to her people, and never see him again, and it was just better if certain things were not said in the meantime. At least, that was what she was constantly telling herself. Even though that rationalization did not exactly make her happy.

She shook her head. It did not matter now anyway. She might die soon, or he might die soon. Battle was upon them.

_I should go talk to him before that, though_, she decided.

However, just as she set out to do so it was in fact him who found her.

"Tali," she heard a voice behind her, "do you have time to talk?"

"Ah, Jon," she answered, turning around, "Of course. I was just looking for you in fact."

Shepard responded to that with a smile. "Good. But not here. I think I've seen a path halfway up the cliffs over there."

That surprised her. Even if he wanted some privacy, surely it would have been sufficient to simply get some steps distance to the camp. However, she did not disagree, and followed him.

The 'path' consisted of little more than stepping stones, but they all were still broad enough that Shepard and Tali could walk upwards, and did not need to climb. It led directly above the sea, with no beach between cliff and ocean. Waves moved relentlessly against the stone beneath them.

They finally arrived on a little plateau on half the cliff's height. It was relatively small, but even here Virmire's omnipresent vegetation had secured its place. Several bushes of various sizes were growing here, and the ground was covered in small plants not dissimilar to the ferns she had seen in the Amazonian jungle on Earth.

The two stopped there and looked out over the sea. It was a perfect pale blue, interrupted only by rocks and stones around which the waves played.

"It's beautiful," Tali commented. "I wished my people had a homeworld like that." Usually she did not think often about the tragedy of the exile of her people. That after all was just an unchangeable fact. However, right now, she felt rather emotional.

"They will," Shepard answered. His voice was soft, yet serious. "Maybe not now. But you quarians have endured for centuries; surely eventually you will find a home. Despite all problems."

Tali wanted to give him a smile as response, but he would not have been able to see it anyway. _Curse this suit._ "My journey made me appreciate it," she said, "Why we need a home."

Shepard's view was still fixed on the sea. "It _is _beautiful, isn't it?" he asked, quietly and softly. He turned his face to Tali and grinned. "So why not settle down here?"

"You know why," she answered, half sad and half humorous. "The local biosphere is levo-amino, like most biospheres we've encountered. And there's too much microbiological life in the air for us. Besides, if the Council has not managed to secure the area for colonization in centuries, the Migrant Fleet surely won't be able to, either."

"And so, instead Saren has set up his base here," Shepard commented.

"Yes," Tali answered. Emotions boiled up in her. She really wanted Shepard to know that she was willing to take the base out no matter the cost. It was important to her that he should know. Words came pouring out of her: "That base must be destroyed. I know why we have to go through it, instead of destroying it from space. But still, Saren cannot be allowed to keep it."

"I have no intention of letting him keep it," Shepard said with half a grin.

"The salarians are ready to die to destroy the base... and so am I," Tali said emotionally, "I'll fight with fire for you, Jon."

She would be at Shepard's side. No matter all other circumstances, no matter all the things left unspoken, she would not leave it. She could support him, she could fight for him - that at least she could do, and hence she would. It was unusual for to be so emotionally charged, but this all was important to her.

"I know," Shepard responded softly. He took one of Tali's hands and placed it between his. This startled the quarian, but she did not withdrew her hand. Five fingers stroke over her three. "I know because you always have so far," the Spectre continued.

"I... I don't think... we shouldn't..." Tali stammered.

Shepard's simple action had brought her thoughts into a disarray. _And I thought never bringing the first sentence to an end was bad_ was one. Another was: _What is he doing? _And yet another: _That's... nice._

"Tali," Shepard spoke. His voice was grave, serious but friendly, and easy to follow. It cut through the confusion in her head. "We both know there's an entire litany of unspoken things between us. And I know why that is so. I know you will eventually have to return to your people, and even now, well, what with your suit..." His voice trailed off.

It was apparent that he was nervous, but then so was she. There was a tumult of contradictory emotions in her. She cared about Shepard, was fond of him. Yet part of her screamed at her to end this talk, as it would only hurt them both. However, another part of her, a larger part of her, could listen to what Shepard was saying for hours or days without end. In either case, she was anxious about what would happen now.

Shepard continued to speak, firmer now: "So I _know_ about all this. But that's just no excuse for not at least talking straight about it. The point is..." He let go of her hand and looked down. "The point is that I've been a coward."

_A coward?_ That was a gross misinterpretation of his own character, as far as Tali was concerned. As soon as her hand had been free again, it had begun to fidget nervously at her waist again, together with her another hand. However, despite all nervousness, she would not let something like that stand. "If you've been a coward in this, then so I've been, too," she stated firmly. _If for good reasons. _"I've seen you, Jon. No matter the dangers we've faced, you've never been been a coward. That's why...why I..." She stopped herself there. Not that it was not plainly obvious what she had been about to say.

"Maybe on the battlefield," Shepard conceded, "But in other issues - I should have spoken. And there _is_ something to be told."

Tali's nervousness grew. She very much wanted to hear now what Shepard had to say, but she was anxious about it, too. The speed of her fidgeting fingers increased even more - until Shepard took both her hands into his.

"Tali - even if nothing can come out of it, I want you to know at least," he said, "That I... despite the species barrier between us. Despite the fact that you're stuck in this suit. Despite the fact that you'll eventually return to the Flotilla - that I care about you. Deeply." His voice became lower, quieter. "As more than just a friend."

He looked down again, a melancholic smile on his face. Tali supposed he had a reason to be. She had been sure for quite some time now that he felt the same as she did. So she could not doubt what he was saying. He had fallen for a women stuck in a suit and only temporarily outside the home of her very insular people. _That can't be easy._

She wanted this. What Shepard had said - she had desired that for months now, thinking, _knowing_, nothing could come out of it. She wanted to be together with him, wanted that so very much. But that was just her. She also had to think about him and no matter her feelings, trying something like this, trying a relationship would simply not have been fair to him.

"I'm sorry, Jon," she whispered.

That made him look up abruptly. "Sorry?" he asked, "What for?"

"You know... you surely know by now I feel the same," she answered. "I care about you, too. And as long as I'm on the _Normandy_ I will stand beside you and support you whenever you might need it. But... that's all I can do. So, I'm sorry if I've given the wrong signals. I let my emotions dictate me, and that was selfish."

"Selfish?" Shepard asked. "I'm sorry, Tali, but I really don't understand what you mean."

"It shouldn't have become clear to you what I feel!" she answered strongly, and pulled her hands away from his. "Because no matter what I feel, it wouldn't be fair to you. Eventually, I'll leave, and it's not like we can ever..." She looked straight downwards now, and her voice was barely above a whisper. "Not like we can ever kiss, or be intimate."

"Tali, is that what you've been thinking of?" Shepard asked tenderly.

_Why doesn't he understand? _It was difficult enough for her to fight off the part inside herself saying 'To hell with all that.'. _Why does he need to make it even more difficult? _"Yes," she answered, "but it doesn't m..."

"Tali," Shepard interrupted her decisively. She looked up again, to face him.

He took a hold of her shoulders. And slowly, he let her glide into an embrace.

"...matter," Tali ended her sentence, surprised. That was too much now. She wanted to free herself herself of his embrace, but she could not. Inside her, emotions grew stronger than rationality. And it was not like she had not dreamed of this before. Her muscles relaxed.

"Tali," Shepard repeated, "all you say - it may not matter anyway. We might all die here. Or on the next mission. And even if not, Saren could still succeed. If the Reapers return, then we will surely all die. This all could happen. So... why worry about the later? Why worry about problems that might never manifest anyway?"

Instead of answering, Tali simply let herself sink deeper into Shepard's embrace. After a while she said: "I've dreamed of this. I never thought it could be... that we... but I can't deny it. I've... I've wanted this. Just exactly this."

She lay head on his shoulder and he began to stroke her back.

"I think we both deserve some happiness," Shepard said. "At least for as long as it can last."

This made Tali look up again."That's what I meant," she said. "I am happy. I... cannot tell you how happy. I'm right where I wanted to be for a long time now. But what about you? Don't you..."

"I _am _happy," Shepard insisted. "I have all I need for that right here." He grinned. "Let me decide that much for myself, will you?"

"Hm, sometimes I'm not sure if that's a good idea," Tali joked, but all thoughts about further protests were gradually leaving her. It felt _good_ to be held like that, by somebody she cared about, somebody who felt the same about her. After a while she spoke up again: "Thank you, for - for not being a coward. I would never have said something, but - even if nothing else comes out of this I wouldn't want to miss this moment for anything in the galaxy."

And for quite some time the two simply stood there, holding each other, getting as close as her suit allowed. A deep peace came over Tali. _I could get used to that. _Finally, nothing was left unsaid between her and Shepard. It felt as if finally, she had arrived at the end of a journey, an end she thought she would never reach, a fulfilment of her wishes and feelings. Something that would finally, _finally_ allow her to rest.

Far too early for her liking, Shepard loosened the embrace. However, he kept holding her arms, and kept her very close by. "I... I've been thinking" he told her. He seemed to be nervous again. "I mean... it cannot be totally unheard of for quarians to have relationships with, well, members of other races."

Tali had informed herself on that. Despite her longstanding commitment to ignore her emotions, she had looked up the topic on the extranet, and she dimly recalled some talk on the Flotilla, where such subjects served as fuel for chatter and gossip about scandalous behaviour.

"Sure," she replied. "It's - it doesn't happen often, it's uncommon, but yes, it does happen." She noticed how she became insecure about the issue. "In most cases - it's not easy. It never is. Most times, everything happens outside the suit. You know, nerve stimulations and such. Not that you could know..." _Did I seriously just bring up nerve stimulation programs? _"That... that seems like a cheap solution to me, though. Ah, well, that is, especially for the other side. It's always problematic."

She noticed how Shepard had raised an eyebrow. His look was still tender, but also amused. Tali realized to what conclusions she had immediately jumped. _Oh Keelah. _She had been so content until now to be never more than just a friend to Shepard that she had not realized how much penned up desire there was in her. And there was. For now, she was happy to be held by Shepard, but that also made her wonder if there could be more - and she _wanted_ more. With him.

"And I... I'm probably talking too much," she concluded.

"I think it's cute," Shepard answered, humorously and barely above a whisper.

"Then I've been very lucky to have found you," Tali commented. And meant it. _ I have been very lucky indeed. _After a pause she continued: "I've bottled up everything so far, but now that we, that we... I want it to be real Jon. If we're going to be together I want to feel your skin on mine."

Shepard's touch on her arms became tighter as she said so. "Is that possible?" he asked, quietely and tenderly.

"It's problematic," she answered. She breathed out. _He has a right to know. Everything. _"On the Flotilla, two... partners would have to sync their envirosuits before. That's how we - it's our greatest sign of trust, of acceptance. Ah, I mean it's not always for such purposes, but it shows a willingness for, ah, intimacy. Not always, but..." She breathed out. "We get sick at first, and then we adapt. Those matters are not even easy purely among my own people. I just... I just think it's fair you know that. Before you commit yourself to anything."

Shepard remained silent for a while. Then he answered: "I won't pretend that doesn't bother me. The lack of intimacy I mean." Tali looked down. It was a reasonable answer, and Shepard was only right, but it still made her sad. However, Shepard gently laid his hand under her visor and led her sight upwards again. "I'm willing to try it, though. I know it's problematic but if there is a way... to be with you I'd be willing to try it."

"And I thought I could simply hide everything, pretend my feelings aren't there," Tali commented, "But if you're willing to try it, then so am I. This... this means a lot to me Jon. You mean a lot to me. I've never shown my face to anybody, but I'd be willing to show it to you." She hesitated. "If... If I can do so without dying."

"Is that a possibility, Tali?" Shepard asked gravely. "That, if we share intimacy, that you can die?"

"It's always a risk," Tali answered. "Maybe the reaction would be minor. Maybe it would put me down for a few weeks. Or maybe it would kill me."

Shepard's grip on her arms loosened, and he withdrew a bit. It was easy to deduce what thoughts were running in his head. _Have I said too much? _She did not want him to be afraid. Not for her. And she wanted what they were talking about. She wanted it very much.

"Jon," she continued, "we quarians never live far away from death. Be it by infection or by hull breach or by lack of resources." Humorously she added: "And if every act of intimacy killed us, then there would be no quarian race anymore." She looked down. "But there is a risk. There always is."

"I don't know..." Shepard began.

Hastily, Tali interrupted him: "There are ways to temporarily strengthen our immune systems. Antiobiotic injections, immunoboosters, that kind of things. It's possible. But it's never easy. For either side."

Shepard smiled faintly at that. "I don't want easy. I want you." He pulled her into an embrace again. "But - you bear the risk. In the end, it's your decision."

"If it was just me?" Tali asked, laying her head on his shoulder. "You gave me a home on the _Normandy. _You gave me a chance to prove myself. You always trusted me. And I watched you - I watched you saving the colonists on Feros when nobody else could. I watched you moving heaven and hell to get them justice. I watched you tearing yourself apart when you learned about Cerberus, and yet even then you did the right thing. And I watched you... us getting ever closer, and yet I never thought it could end like... this." She looked up again, into his face. "Yes, Jon. I want this. I have never wanted anything for myself as much as this. I just never thought it could be possible. But I've been wrong: If there's only the smallest chance of this working out, a chance of being with you, then I want to grab it and hold on to it."

"Good," Shepard answered. "Then I... well, I think we both will have something to look forward. To carry us through this mission. I don't know what will come out of it, but... if this mission is over, let us try, shall we?"

"Definitely," Tali answered. She was surprised at herself at how sultry it had sounded.


	22. Ch22: Virmire II: The Assault

The way back down to the salarian camp appeared almost surreal to Tali. It was as if she were returning to an entirely different beach on an entirely different planet. Maybe even in an entirely different galaxy. After all, she would never have thought there could be any possibility of a relationship with Shepard in this galaxy.

And yet just that had just happened.

Whenever the small path of stepping stones allowed it, the two would close up to each other. She would lay her arm around him, or he would grab her hand. It was a game, and Tali's feelings went from intoxicating happiness back and forth to frustration that her suit did not allow them more. She would have liked to rip out her visor right there and then, but of course that was just not possible. Such an action could quite possible kill her. It was annoying – yet her mood always swung back to happy when Shepard reached out to her again.

They were almost down at the beach again when Shepard let his hand glide over her back, a pleasant pressure that could be felt, if diminished, even through the envirosuit. She smiled content at that, but when Shepard hand playfully glided even lower she reacted startled – surprised, her hips swung sidewards, away from the Commander. This let him almost lose balance – he came to a stop only shortly before the edge of the stone he was standing on.

"Careful," Tali laughed and grabbed his arm, even though he already had stabilized himself again "We're not completely down yet. Falling into the sea here could still hurt."

"Yeah, that would not be the most dignified of deaths," Shepard answered sheepishly and took a hold of Tali's hand.

"And don't you think this would count as casualty in the battle against Saren," Tali joked. The beach was only some few steps away now, and the path broad enough that they could walk besides each other, so she kept holding his hand. It felt odd, his hand with five curiously small fingers, but it was quite pleasant nonetheless, even despite her gloves.

Bringing said battle up made her almost glum again, though. However Shepard picked up the joke and ran with it: "Death by quarian hips. That would be quite undignified indeed."

"We're more dangerous than we look," Tali claimed humorously.

"Oh, that's for sure," Shepard answered grinning.

Stones made way for sand, and the two had reached the beach again. "So..." Shepard prompted still grinning and looked at their intertwined hands.

Tali was about to withdraw hers, but instead Shepard took it, led it upwards and kissed her glove's palm. In order to retain as much manual dexterity as possible that was where the suit was at its thinnest, and Tali was quite surprised by the gesture. When he looked up again his grin was, if any possible, even wider now, and a bit cocky, while she looked downwards, unknowing quite what to say.

However, after a pause she cocked her head upwards and commented: "I know what must be done now. Go talk with Kirrahe. Battle is upon us. And if we come through... _when_ we have come through it, then we can see where to take... _this_."

Shepard nodded. His grin was still there, but it had become lopsided. "Seems appropriate. War and... well, you know." Tali did not quite know, in fact, but did not comment on it. "We'll see this through together, once combat begins."

And with that, both walked to the camp again, now separate - Shepard to find Kirrahe, and Tali to wait for the fighting to begin.

The battle would still be bloody, nothing had changed about that. However, there was a very clear and definite hope shining at the end of it, and that made it appear in a new light. For some reason their chances did not look as grim as before. _We can't fail. Not now. Not after we finally... finally found to each other. _

Both Shepard and her had known about each other's feelings for some time now, but neither had spoken up about it. Tali had even thought it better that way, since she had seen no chance of a relationship working. She had watched Shepard, she had been as good a friend to him as she could, she had supported him when necessary, and he had supported her. But she could never have thought anything more could come out of it.

And all the while, her feelings for the Commander had grown. He was not how she had imagined her first serious romantic interest would be like. After all, he was an alien, which made this all even weirder. However, for a non-quarian he did not look bad; elegant and physically fit. What was more, she admired his idealism, his decisiveness, his caring, and even, on the other hand, his utter indifference about what others thought about him – that was an attitude so far away from the norms and restrictions she had grown up with. Seeing that attitude work, seeing Shepard making it work, had been and still was like a whole new world opened up to her - by him.

_Stop overanalyzing this. _That was something her mind always did when she was nervous or unsure. And nervous she was. After all it was a very welcome, but also rather sudden and unexpected new development that was taking place.

In fact she had already been surprised when he had begun to suspect that Shepard had similar feelings as she did. Due to her restrictions (her suit, her eventual return to her people and in general the interspecies barrier) she still had thought any ideas of relationship impossible, and hence had considered it better not to speak about those topics. However, now that a chance had opened itself up, she was determined to grasp it with all her strength.

As she walked through the camp she had the impression that others were looking at her, especially people from the _Normandy. _She was not quite sure, though - it could well be that in her nervousness her mind found a pattern where there was none. However, rumours about her and Shepard had widely circulated through the crew for weeks now. And people surely had noticed how he and she had been absent for some time.

She did not know for certain if people looked at her, or talked, but even if it was just her hyperactive imagination it made her somewhat self-conscious.

After a while, she heard somebody approaching from behind. Looking over her back, she could see Shepard walking up to her.

He came to a halt directly behind her, looked out far onto the ocean and said: "The salarians are leaving to stage the assault right now. Ashley is with them. We will depart in an hour." His voice sounded grave and heavy. There was no doubt that his mind was now on the duty ahead of him - just as it should be.

"Don't worry," Tali reassured him, "Everything will go alright."

"I don't think we had such a difficult objective yet," Shepard pondered, "I'm not sure..."

"I am," Tali stated decisively, "We'll destroy the base and... fulfill your secondary objective, too."

Shepard grinned self-deprecating at that and answered: "Tertiary objective: Surviving."

"You're not getting out of... what we talked about anymore, Jon," Tali joked. Not that it was a particularly humorous subject, but what more could they do about it than to make light of it? "I'll haunt you in the afterworld if you should die!"

Shepard laughed. "Now, that's an enticing prospect, actually."

Tali lowered her head and said, now softer and graver: "Just... don't die, okay?" And more humorous-confident again: "That would make things much easier."

"I... I can't exactly promise it, but..." Shepard began.

"I know," Tali interrupted him softly, "Sometimes people just die." That Tali knew with a certainty. People like her mother, or other quarians she had known who had fallen to the dangers of living in overaged ships.

However, now it was Shepard's turn to speak up confidently: "Not if I can help it. And very much not after what we've talked about."

"I had the same thought," Tali admitted, "but I don't really think the universe cares about awful timing."

"Well, no," Shepard conceded with a faint half-smile, "Caring is up to us."

"Always trying to make a difference, huh?" Tali asked rhetorically. "Speaking of timing we still do have an hour."

Shepard grinned at that. "Unfortunately I don't think we can do much with it here at the beach."

That was all too true. Not with her in the envirosuit, anyway. It made her wonder if there were any place where they could - _do _something. However, she already had brought up those points to Shepard. Repeating them would just have made her sound whiny. So instead, Tali joked: "It... ah, it would be a bit public, maybe?"

"That would be one issue, yes," Shepard said smiling. "Mind, I think most people suspect already anyway..." He did sound a bit concerned about that.

"Well, you said we'll try this out once we're finished with this mission," Tali commented. "So I think we should keep any... _thoughts_ we may have until then. Then we can also worry about what the crew does or doesn't know."

Shepard laughed. "Good advice. Well then, I guess I hardly need to tell you how to prepare before a battle. Just - prepare well. So that we do have an 'after the mission'."

"I will," Tali promised. "We will. Don't worry about that Jon. Keep your head clear."

Shepard nodded at that and left. Tali saw him going to talk to Garrus. _As it should be: The Commander making sure of his team. _As for her, she began to check her omni-tool and her shotgun.

…...

Water splashed around Tali's feet, and high cliffs with overboarding vegetation loomed over her. She and the rest of the team had entered the network of saltwater canyons that surrounded Saren's base. These canyons were a convenient path to the backside of the facility, well-covered but unfortunately also well-defensible, as they were narrow and full of chokepoints. Too narrow for the Mako, in fact. Shepard had contributed it to the salarians. Tali could just imagine Garrus face' if both he and the vehicle were to make it out of this alive; the turian had grown quite fond of the armoured car and indestructible as the Mako usually was she doubted this time it would come out without a scratch.

She was tense, but calm. The battle would be difficult, but that just meant there was no time for any panic attacks or the like. She would not fail, not against geth. She kept her thoughts focused, her head clear and her attention sharp. Most of the time anyway. She could not prevent herself from glancing over to Shepard now and then. And to her hidden delight she caught him glancing back relatively often. Still, she was reasonably sure she was concentrated on the mission for the most part.

Shepard's team, 'Team Shadow' in Kirrahe's plan, was unusually large compared to earlier missions. Shepard had his entire Spectre entourage with him, Garrus, Wrex, Liara and Tali, plus Kaidan and two more marines from the _Normandy's_ regular ground detachment. Eight people, all in all, a size definitely on the upper end of infiltration actions. However, considering what they would go against maybe on the lower end on what could be necessary.

Shepard had split the team in two groups: Kaidan led the marines plus Garrus, while he himself would directly lead the rest. This allowed for very close coordination within those groups, which moved in a very compact manner. At the various junctions of the waterways, both Shepard and Kaidan would wave their groups which route to take. Both were in constant contact with the _Normandy_, which monitored the situation from space. As Shepard had explained to Tali, Pressly was constantly giving them directions and a summary about the area they were in.

Shepard's group had just passed a further junction, when Tali saw a movement.

"Enemy sighted!" Garrus announced. His reflexes were good: The shout had come not a full second after a geth patrol of three platforms had just come around a corner.

So far, resistance had been very light. The team had disabled a number of patrols like this one, and they had no trouble with this particular instance, either. Kirrahe's plan to draw most of the geth's attention to the facility's front side seemed to be working.

When, very quickly, the last geth platform of the patrol had fallen down, Garrus commented: "That were all, we should advance while the distraction teams still draw fire."

Tali knew what Garrus meant: While their advance was quick and smooth, the distraction teams reported trouble. Especially Kirrahe's own team, Mannovai, was taking heavy fire and had to dig in, and Ashley had reported that her Aegohr Team was unable to reach and relieve the Captain due to the excellent coordination of enemy fire.

However, Shepard stopped any debate short by silently raising his hand. He seemed to focus on something intensely.

After a while, he turned again towards the team. "Alright, Pressly just informed me there is a single building not far off our plotted course. We have no idea what it is, but we cannot allow any geth concentrations to remain in our back once we force our way into the facility. So, new objective: Capture the building and eliminate the geth concentration there."

A chorus of "Aye-Aye, sir" answered him.

"Good," he said, "then let's go!"

The team went straight northwards at the next junction. Forming a single file, they advanced closely along a cliff, with Shepard at the top.

"Target building in sight," he announced after a while. "Group 1, assault on my command. Group 2, give us fire cover... Now! Go, go!"

The building turned out to be little more than an elevated platform, accessible only by some stairs. As she ran towards them, Tali noticed surprised that several geth shields had been established, placed very well at strategic location to give the synthetics cover. _This will make getting us fire support difficult._

Shepard and Wrex stormed towards the stairs from which already geth were pouring. Liara and Tali stayed slightly behind to provide support. Tali worked frantically on her omni-tool, trying to crack the geth's network security. She managed to disturb the geth's defense by overheating some of their weapons, but that was not enough - the group was getting into a crossfire as geth began to assemble at the building's railings and opened fire on them, too.

She noticed only peripherally the devastation that Wrex and Shepard caused, or the arrival of Kaidan's team which moved in to provide more close-range fire support. Finally she managed to find a more substantial hole in the geth's network security to exploit.

The geth resistance was thrown into disarray as one of the platforms turned against the rest. Tali breathed out, relieved. As she had hoped, this provided the opening for the team to move in and finish the synthetics. With Shepard and Wrex remaining at the top of the assault, the entire team was soon able to storm up the stairs and finish the remaining platforms.

"Nice building," Shepard commented grinning after the skirmish, "I wouldn't have thought the geth to have such a nice sense of architecture. They seem to have come some way since what we see in the Armstrong Nebula; they even have ceilings now. All that's missing is walls, and maybe some windows in them."

"The geth have no need for either ceilings or walls," Tali explained, "And windows - just a structural weakness to them."

"Yeah, I've come to that conclusion as well," Shepard agreed.

"But I don't understand why the geth defended this position so heavily," Tali continued, "It's not even strategically well located."

"Don't grow too attached to your battle price," Wrex advised humorously, "I doubt anything here will escape the nuclear blast."

Tali did not answer and instead looked around. Something drew her attention. "Commander, over here" she said, and pointed to a geth terminal in corner, "This looks like..." She began a cursory query of the terminal's programs "...like a communication hub of sorts."

"That explains matters," Shepard commented, "Maybe you should..."

However, he stopped when he noticed the quarian had long since already begun working. Since geth themselves were software, they had an intuitive grasp on system structures and defences. However, with the battle over Tali now had time. Methodically she whittled down one security program after the next, until finally she had access to the terminal's core programs.

"That's done," she announced, "If I read that thing's program structure right it represented a good volume of the geth's communication capacity. Which is now gone."

"I suppose it makes some sense for the geth to position defence-critical installations on the far side of the facility's main approach way," Kaidan analyzed.

"Too bad they forgot to properly guard their back entrance," Garrus commented.

"We have Kirrahe to thank for that," Shepard pointed out, "I agree with you, Lieutenant. If there are other such installations on or near our way we should definitely try to take them, too."

As the team went down the stairs again, Shepard was able to casually intercept Tali. Without the others paying attention, he quickly touched her hand and said quietly and softly: "Well done."

"Is that all you have to tell me?" Tali asked in response, quietly but provocatively.

"Hey now, remember," Shepard answered and grinned, "We said to first see this mission through"

Tali harrumphed jokingly, and the two went to join up again with the rest of the team.

The march through the saltwater canyons continued. Guided by Navigator Pressly the team made its way through the geth-infested maze of possible routes. At the same time, the salarians and Ashley, too, advanced, according to the comm chatter Tali could hear. With their communications in disarray, the geth proved to be far less capable enemies.

However, the _Normandy_ found no further critical installations for Shepard's team to take out. And the geth still had additional resources to draw on.

"_Incoming enemy aircraft," _Tali could hear Ashley's voice in the communication channels, _"I repeat: Enemy uses aircraft!"_

"_Bunker in!"_ That was Kirrahe, _"They'll... what was that?" _A pause. _"They're using sat strikes!"_

_That sounded bad. Really bad. _"Combined air and satellite strikes," Tali analyzed. "It seems the geth employ every resource they have now. They must be getting worried."

"We could call in the _Normandy_ to assist them," Liara proposed, "The ship could surely destroy the enemy satellites and aircraft."

"Yeah, but we can't give away her location," Shepard pointed out, "We've committed ourselves to a ground strike now, and we need to keep the _Normandy _hidden until she can transport the nuke. Or until the backup plan is needed and she needs to strike the facility from orbit. No, we continue as before, and let's hope we find something that will help the salarians and Ashley."

As the team continued, geth patrols intensified. Mostly it were drones now, which often appeared as if out of nowhere.

"I hate those things!" Shepard complained at one point, "You never know when they'll come swooping out of the sky."

"Yes," Kaidan answered, "Swooping is... bad."

After further navigation through the area they could, after some time, see a further building in the distance. It was larger than the one they had stormed before, and a giant satellite dish was on its ceiling.

"Okay," Shepard announced, "Pressly told me about the installation in front of us. We're about to enter the immediate perimeter of the facility, which consist of a network of bridges over the canyons - and this building is where we can access that network. Additionally, that dish has to go. Lieutenant Alenko, your group will fire at it from afar until the target is destroyed. Then you'll rejoin and support us. Meanwhile, my group will storm the place."

"Always the best roles for us," Tali muttered, drawing a grin from Shepard.

She gripped her shotgun a little bit tighter and her mind went through the command shortcuts on her omni-tool. Combat had become a routine for her, especially combat against geth. The prospect of battle with them held little fear for her anymore.

Shepard began first walking and then running, and Wrex, Liara and she followed him. Their aim was a ramp directly in front of the building, which led to it and presumably also to the bridge network Shepard had spoken of. While Tali had her shotgun in her hands, she also already began calling up the necessary combat programs on her omni-tool. She fully expected to again stay in second line in the battle. Over the charging group bullets flew towards the building's satellite dish.

Tali noticed a movement behind the ramp. She ordered her retinal implants to focus, to get a better look on the enemy. Geth as she assumed - wrongly. The enemy was larger than a standard bipedal geth platform, larger and bulkier. Tali was surprised, but only slightly. _Krogan. Of course. Kirrahe warned us. _It appeared she would have to fight in the foremost frontline now.

She was uncomfortably reminded of the painful encounter with the krogan battlemaster on Therum. However, since then she had also taken part in defeating other krogan, and in any case Therum had been before she had won most of her current expertise in combat.

Still Tali could not help but feel a bit useless surrounded by three biotics. Krogan were thrown into the air, pushed away, or hit with a biotic warp. It was a powerful display of dark energy, while all Tali could do was firing straight at the towering aliens. The maneuver left Shepard, Wrex and Liara exhausted, though, unable to quickly repeat their feats.

However, it had successfully made any krogan counter-charge impossible, and it had bought time for Kaidan's group to close in to Shepard's for support. Nonetheless, the krogan were still able to put up a spirited and endurable defence.

Bullets flew back and forth. The numerically inferior krogan were hit several times, but shrugged it off as if it were nothing. Tali felt frustrated about the apparent lack of effect of her and the team's combat efforts. She feared further enemies could use the chance to descent onto them.

When the team did get an upper hand it was due to the krogan's own shortcomings. They could have just bunkered in, trusting on their endurance and waiting for geth reinforcements to arrive. But instead they always tried to charge forward. A krogan rushing in, growling and firing, was a fearsome sight, but such charges always ended up with the alien gunned down before he could do much damage.

Methodically, the team put down one krogan after the next, always making sure to damage their bodies enough to not allow any regeneration. And finally, the way to the bridge in front of them was free.

"Kirrahe had a point," Kaidan commented as the team began to move again, "With geth _and_ krogan Saren's forces could really become invincible."

"Yeah well, we won't allow that," Shepard replied. He shot an unsure glance at Wrex.

The krogan caught it. "No worries, Shepard. I know what we're here for."

Tali could have sworn he also grinned, but krogan facial expressions were practically impossible to read. _Not nearly as varied and poignant as human facial expressions. _Wrex had reason to grin, she knew. After all, he knew about Shepard's secondary objective - to secure the genophage cure, not destroy it. Tali was not quite sure whom else Shepard had told, though.

"Good," Shepard answered. "Right. The facility is right in front of us, but there may be concentrations of enemy troops on the right and left flanks of the bridge network. And I still don't want those in my back. We'll head right at the next junction. Pressly assumes the refueling station for the geth flyers is there."

The cliffs were standing very close to each other in the area the team now entered, which probably was the reason why building the bridges had been necessary. The bridges themselves were made of stone, with low railings and artful lights at the sides. In fact, the entire structure seemed strangely non-utilitarian for the geth. Even in the middle of an assault, Tali could appreciate the scenic beauty of the bridges winding themselves between the looming cliffs.

She had expected to meet heavy resistance. The narrow bridges would make ideal defence choke points, and the team now had come fairly near to the facility proper. However so far no geth or krogan could be seen. _Maybe that's why no reinforcements came for the krogan at the satellite dish building - there simply were no troops that could have been spared. _

The bridge network seemed to be nearly as labyrinthine as the not built upon canyons before. However, Shepard apparently knew the way, and led them without hesitation.

After a while, he announced: "That path should head straight to the geth landing platform."

"There seems to be a large tank there," Garrus stated. His visor allowed for periscope abilities. "Might be the refueling station."

"Why are no geth here?" Tali asked, "Shouldn't some platforms guard this place?"

"Good point," Shepard agreed, "Alenko, your team will cover us. Look out for any attacks from behind. The rest, we'll storm and destroy the refueling station."

Once again Tali began to run and follow Shepard, who together with Wrex formed the front of their group. What they encountered was a landing pad alright, complete with a propane tank for refueling - and a veritable swarm of geth drones.

Since the drones had less sophisticated firewall defences than bipedal or tank-level geth platforms, it was easy for Tali to turn some single drones against their brethren. However the swarm was large enough that nonetheless a fierce battle ensued. Single drones were easily shot down, but the mass of them managed to inflict grievous damage to shields and armours of the group.

The propane tank exploded in a rather spectacular fashion after enough bullets had pierced it.

With their primary task fulfilled, the group gradually retreated and fell back to Kaidan's group, drawing the remaining drones with them. Methodically, they were taken out one by one.

"No wonder the salarians got into trouble," Shepard commented grimly. Already several marks of battle were visible all over his armour. "Those things can ruin anybody's day."

Wanting to answer, but not wanting to draw the attention of others, Tali hacked into Shepard's visor. _This is too easy, I need to take a look at its programs after we're done here_. She let a text appear on the visor:

+++I know it's a difficult assault, but - even this day?+++

Shepard laughed, surprising the others. However, before anybody could ask, Garrus shouted: "Enemies sighted!"

The entire team swirled around - to see what amounted to a small horde of krogan stampeding towards their location.

"Shit!" Shepard cursed. "Fire and tech and biotic support at will!" he ordered. The bridge allowed no place for cover or complex tactics.

The fight was brutal. Tali was relieved not to be in the first line of combat. Wrex, Shepard and one of the marines formed the front, and very soon all three were bleeding from various wounds. But even she was targeted, and her shields gradually whittled down.

_Please, not another suit breach! _

Though with a respectable sized group of huge war machines directly in front of her, part of her feared even more than just that. She suppressed that fear, or any panic.

Some of the krogan pushed through all shots aimed at them, and managed to engage Shepard and Wrex in near combat. _Oh keelah, that's not good. _Tali feared hitting her team mates should she try to shoot at the enemy.

However, Kaidan and Garrus proved to be much calmer, with more oversight over the combat. "Hit the krogan further back," the Lieutenant ordered, no nervousness apparent in his voice, "The Commander can hold out for some time." And Garrus already was using his sniper rifle for just that purpose.

Tali saw the use of that. The krogan had effectively split their forces, and Wrex and Shepard did look like they could keep part of them engaged for long enough to have the rest shot down. But it was risky. She fired her pistol in rapid succession, always close to overheating it, to eliminate the krogan as quickly as possible.

When she saw no krogan outside the brawl move anymore, she rushed in toward that fight, one of the first to do so. It was certainly risky, maybe even foolish: She was one of the physically smallest members of the team, and she rushed towards several towering krogan. But the fact of the matter was that she was armed, and that Shepard needed help.

Closing in to the brawl she could fire at the krogan without risking the own team members getting hit. However, she drew attention - one of the krogan, who before had stood at the edge of the brawl and was hence still unhurt and in good condition, turned towards her - and ran. Towards her. His intentions were clear. A frightening mass of muscles and combat gear came close to her, and a giant mouth full of sharp teeth roared a battle cry.

Tali took a few step backs and kept firing, but eventually the wide open mouth was directly in front of her. She already prepared for a repeat of Therum - just as the krogan was stopped cold in its charge, pushed back by a hail of bullets. Tali did not dare look around, she just assumed and hoped it was the rest of the team who finally had intervened.

With more people rushing towards the thick of battle, things became even more chaotic. Both krogan and allies hurried past Tali, who simply focused on shooting the former as rapidly as she could. That task was the only immovable thing in this insanity.

And when it finally was over, when the chaos finally ended, all enemy krogan lay dead to their feet - and Shepard, Wrex and the one marine who had fought at their side bled from several wounds. The latter even appeared unable to stand, kneeling on the ground. Everybody panted, exhausted.

"So... what now?" Liara managed to ask amid heavy breathing.

Shepard rose his hand, signalling her to wait, and then said: "Pressly... ah... Pressly again. He said... said that _Normandy _got... good view of this... ah, damn... this fight here. Ap...Apparently they saw how the krogan rushed to here from... ah... just about... everywhere. The way to the facility back entrance should be clear now."

"But you're hurt!" Liara pointed out. "We need some time to..."

"We have no time!" Shepard protested. "The medi-gel... it will do its work... even while we're, ah, on the move. We have an opportunity to use!"

Tali could see the logic of what the Commander was saying, but she was not quite convinced herself. It was clear that medi-gel or not, he had been hit hard. Maybe too hard. And not only him. However, she did not protest. She could not be sure if she was biased, if her worries were based on emotion instead of logic. It would not do at all to have the new relationship with Shepard cloud either side's professionalism.

"Let's go!" Shepard ordered after some more seconds of gathering breath and medi-gel working, "Private Klein, Garrus, support Private Kowit best as you can. And let's hurry, we can't waste time, we have to be there before the entrance is guarded again."

The group set in motion again, but this time it was no professional, careful advance. It was a hasty rush, with people getting forward best as they could. And 'supporting Private Kowit' pretty much turned out to mean 'carry him'. The team did not offer a dignified view at all.

The facility was surrounded by a very high wall built along a water lane, which hence served as a sort of moat. The bridge crossing that 'moat' was filled with fixed geth shields, but just as Pressly has predicted there were no defenders left to hold the wall against Shepard's team. Hastily, the group entered the small door leading through the wall, and crossed a metal plank leading to the entrance of the central facility building.

Exhausted, they stopped there.

"That's it," Tali announced, "we've finally reached this damn building."

"We'll enter it in a minute," Shepard said, catching breath.

"It might take some time to open the door anyway," Tali pointed out, "I can hack myself in, but it won't be easy. Besides, I should probably find a way to disable the alarms, too."

"Good to see everything is in expert hands," Shepard commented grinning.

"I might need some help," Tali said, "There is a secondary console - Lieutenant Alenko, if you would please..."

"Of course," Kaidan confirmed.

Together, they began working their way into the facility's security programs. Neither rushed things or took unnecessary risks. They team had all the time in the galaxy now - and new enemies could only come through that door, which was now well guarded by them. In fact the team could even use some rest. Thus, both Tali and Kaidan worked diligently, gradually and slowly.

Or maybe not fully diligently. A text message popped up on Tali's console: +++You and Jon have finally talked?+++

Tali looked over to Kaidan. The Lieutenant was concentrated on his console, but Tali could nonetheless see him grinning.

Tali considered simply ignoring the message. After all, it was nothing if not unprofessional. Then she considered denying it or feigning not to understand. However, in the end there was no reason for any of that, thus she simply replied: +++Yes. How did you know?+++

Some seconds later, Kaidan's answer came: +++You two have looked at each other all the time during the assault. It's kinda cute, actually.+++

_Cute?_ Tali supposed it was - the thought of Shepard literally looking out for her felt nice. Nonetheless it still felt weird reading Kaidan describing it as such. +++I'm glad then we could contribute to crew morale.+++

Kaidan's grin widened, but he showed no other sign of their conversation. +++To none as much as to yours and Jon's, certainly.+++

+++Usually we quarians hold curiosity to be a good character trait+++ Tali wrote back, +++Usually.+++

+++Well, for what it's worth I hope all the best for you two+++ Kaidan answered, +++Let's hope we all come out of this in one piece.+++

_Keelah selai. _Tali certainly hoped so, too. +++We will+++ she simply wrote, and that was the end of the conversation.

After some more work she announced to Shepard: "I have access to the alarm systems. I should be able to turn them all off from here. I might even be able to trigger alarms at the far side of the base. That would clear the guards for us, but would mean more resistance for the salarians, and for Chief Williams."

"Well, we've been battered," Shepard commented. _Nothing but the truth. At least the medi-gel seems to have finally kicked in. _"But I think the front assault teams might have it even worse. No, we'll fight. Just silence the alarms."

"Aye-aye, Commander," Tali confirmed.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Wrex commented, though it did not sound like he greatly cared either way.

"I can open the doors at any moment," Tali stated, "Just give the signal."

Shepard looked around and Tali followed his gaze. It seemed everybody was more or less in order again, if a bit worse for wear. Even Private Kowit was standing again thanks to the biological wonders of medi-gel.

"Do it," Shepard ordered, "Let's clean this place out."

The door opened, and the team rushed in, entering a cargo bay. Huge crates were positioned inside it.

"Disperse and seek cover!" Shepard commanded.

_Here we go again. _Yet, the fight was almost comforting to Tali. She had cover, and the enemies were geth. Heavy bipedal units, like rocket troopers and juggernauts, but nonetheless a known enemy and not something wild and unpredictable like the krogan. And this time there would be no bloody brawl.

It was good to have a known enemy again, and it was good to have the opportunity to shoot down geth.

The team displayed a well-honed professionalism. Soldiers advanced from cover to cover, flanking maneuvers were attempted and executed, and technical support was provided, especially by Tali. As both sides made good use of the copious amount of cover opportunities in the area the fight was drawn out but in the end rather one-sided.

"I think we got them all, Commander," Tali announced after a while. She could see no standing geth platforms anymore, and her suit sensors could not detect one, either.

"Commander!" Garrus called out.

The team came to look what he had found. A dead salarian lay to the feet of the turian, and it appeared that he had only recently been killed by a shot wound.

"A salarian? Here?" Liara asked.

"Captain Kirrahe said something about losing some men," Kaidan commented.

"But how did he end up here?" Tali asked, "And with a gun in his hand, too."

"Maybe he tried to escape?" Garrus wondered. "That would have been extraordinarily bad luck to run into this firefight just as was making his way out."

"If we can free some salarians here, all the better," Shepard commented, "But that's very low on our list of priorities. Let's move on."

There were several cargo elevators in the room, but that was probably not the best way to make ones' way through the base. Instead, the team found a surprisingly broad staircase that probably served as access for base personal.

The stairs led to a spacious plateau - and to everybody's surprise a group of salarians was standing there, obviously awaiting them. They were all armed.

"Finally a lucky break!" Shepard exclaimed, "We... - "

The rest of what he was about to say went down in a hail of bullets. The team immediately retreated back behind a wall corner.

"We're on your side!" Shepard shouted, but the salarians came charging at the team. _Blindly charging, _as Tali realized. And as they came and fired there was no room to think about how they were supposed to be allies; Tali simply defended herself and shot back, as did the rest of Shepard's team. The salarians had no armour and only pistols, and so went down very quickly.

"What the hell was that?" Shepard asked angrily after they had been forced to shoot down even the last single salarian.

"Indoctrination," Tali analyzed. "Must be." She was still slightly shaken, but not to the point where she would let that impair her abilities. She had a mission to contribute to, after all.

"But Shiala said Saren uses his ship for that," Shepard argued. "So either we have a super-dreadnought very near by, or there's more to that facility than we know. Neither option is comfortable."

"One more reason to stay alert," Kaidan commented.

"True," Shepard agreed, "So, remain vigilant, and let's go on. And much as it pains me to order so - all salarians encountered are to be treated as hostiles."

It was an uncomfortable order, but Tali knew that sentimentalities could not get in the way of the mission. And even Shepard's usual idealism could not help here. If the other indoctrinated salarians were like the ones they had just encountered, then they were no great threat, but still the team could not simply let themselves get shot by them.

At least the way to the interior of the base was now free. The team entered several doors, passed by several geth terminals, and walked through several corridors. There was one further unpleasant encounter with indoctrinated salarians, but apart from that no opposition was encountered.

After the team had went up yet a further staircase, they entered a large room. Screams could be heard. Turning right, Tali saw several cells, each filled with a salarian.

"Maybe now we'll get some answers," Shepard muttered and walked towards one of the cells.

"What do you want? I told you everything! I - " the salarian inside shouted. However, he then seemed to recognize whom he was speaking to and interrupted himself: "Who are you? Alliance, right? I knew somebody would come. It tried to break me, but it couldn't! I shut it out!" His voice was shaking and pressed.

"Slow down!" Shepard urged. "I need to know what happened here. Who are you? Were you with Captain Kirrahe?"

"Private Mennos Avot of the Third Infiltration Regiment STG, sir," the salarian answered, "Captured while on reconnaissance six days ago. Glad to answer, sir. Never any questions from these bastards, just whispers and poking and cutting. I'd have said anything to get out and get some payback. That's not asked too much, is it? A little payback?"

Even taken into account the famed (or infamous, depending on one's point of view) salarian ability for non-linear thought, Avot's answer was jumpy at best. Whatever had been done to him seemed to have affected him, despite his claims to the contrary.

Shepard seemed to notice that, too. "What did they do to you, soldier?" he asked.

"Experiments," Avot answered, becoming ever more agitated "but I don't know what for. The effects of incessant whispering on my shortening temper? Who knows? I just need out."

_That might be a bad idea. _"Something is not right here, Commander" Tali advised.

"I can see that," Shepard conceded, "but look at him! If we leave him there he's as good as dead."

"Yes, leaving me here would be bad," Avot agreed. And then his voice and speech began to lose any coherence: "Very bad, and the noise just - won't - go - away. Whispering is loud, you know? I _need_ to get out. Let me out!"

Shepard rubbed his chin and sighed. "Let him out," he said, "but be careful."

"Oh yes, careful," Avot commented as Tali activated the opening mechanism for all cells. "Always. Must be careful. Or else whispering gets too loud. Must be careful. Have to do - what - it - says!"

And with that the salarian stormed outside the cell - and drew a pistol from beneath his clothing. At the same time, further salarians were coming out of the other cells.

"Fire!" Shepard ordered.

It was a massacre. The salarians came out of their cells one by one, and one by one they were shot down without any problems. It was over in a matter of seconds.

"Damn it!" Shepard cursed.

"You couldn't help them anymore," Tali pointed out, "Nobody could."

"I know," Shepard conceded, "it's just... frustrating."

That it was. Tali felt it, too. To have to fight against people who were supposed to be allies, people who had been enslaved, whose entire mind had apparently simply been destroyed - and nothing could be done anymore to help them. 'Frustrating' was probably even an understatement.

"We'll avenge them," Garrus commented. "When the sun next settles here, this station will be dust."

"That's all that's left to do," Shepard agreed. "Let's go."

_He's not nearly as calm about this as he pretends to be for our sake. _Tali had become quite apt at reading Shepard's facial expressions and body posture.

They did not encounter any further enemy resistance, but on the other hand their exploration of the place only turned up dead ends. They had to walk back quite a bit to find a route so far unexplored, an elevator going downward.

The entire team had their weapons drawn and focused forwards, in case they would encounter a bad surprise on the lower side. Slowly, they stepped outside. Tali could see a longdrawn room, full of weird machines. And in one of them -

"Goddess, it's a husk!" Liara whispered.

In fact, all the machines seemed to hold husks. The team was noticeable nervous now, but Tali still tried to focus. With husks all around them that was not the time to lose nerves.

"Intruders!" a female voice sounded through the room, "Call the guards!"

"Damn," Shepard cursed, "Move! Move!"

The team ran towards the source of the shout. Shepard ran at the front - and was suddenly jerked upwards towards the ceiling, surrounded by a blue aura. Tali could glimpse an asari and a krogan, before seeking cover behind a crate. And then she saw the husks moving.

They had been loosened from their machines, and now they descended on the team from all sides, their otherworldly groaning filling the room. They came ever nearer, and one seemed to have picked Tali as its target. Tali tried desperately to fill it with as many bullets as possible.

The husk attack had the team in a disarray, but the technozombies themselves were uncoordinated, too. After the initial shock, the team soon had the upper hand. Tali's husk went down before it could reach her.

She heard a loud 'thump' near her. She turned around and saw how Shepard, who had just fallen to the ground again, got on his feet again. The only enemy left standing was the krogan, who growled terribly war cries, but who posed no danger anymore, either.

"What the hell..." Shepard simply muttered as the krogan finally went down, too. He made a gesture spanning the machines in the room. "What the hell is this?"

"It appears they were studying husks," Liara pointed out the obvious, "But this doesn't make sense. Huskification already is a known geth technology, isn't it?"

"A new one, though," Tali answered, "We have no records of them using it before the attack on Eden Prime." She was quite repulsed by what she saw, too, but hid it under her professionalism as the team's geth expert.

"This krogan here," Garrus spoke up, "He's no warrior. Can it be... was he a scientist? He almost looks like one."

"Did they - can it be they used huskification technology in their genophage cure?" Kaidan asked disgusted.

They all looked at each other, uncertain about that possibility, until Wrex spoke up: "There is no such thing as evil technology. Only dangerous technology."

"Let's not jump to conclusion!" Shepard hastily intervened. "We already know this base is more than just a breeding ground for krogan. They seem to study indoctrination here, too, so maybe this lab was for new applications of the huskification process? Who knows. Just a reason more to have the base destroyed."

"This base is an abomination," Tali hissed, her disgust at it finally pouring out of her, "Saren's research must be destroyed."

That made Wrex turn his head very suddenly to her, and she realized what she just had said. However, she could not take it back, either - she did not know whom Shepard had told about his secondary objective.

"We will destroy it," Shepard stated, and then added: "In the end." There was only the faintest of stress on the latter words, but apparently Wrex understood the reassurance, and turned away again.

Several ways led out of the strange laboratory, but most went upwards again, and away from the far side of the facility the team wanted to reach. The only way in that direction was through a door leading to the outside, to the inner yard of the facility. A metal gangway led to another part of the building.

"Wonder what surprise they'll have in store here," Shepard joked, "Thorian Creepers? Thresher Maws?" He opened the door.

It revealed a large, open and sterile room. Only the area near the window looked comfortable:: A table had been set up there in the natural light the window provided. It seemed to have been used for work, there were two consoles still running on it. No Thorian Creeper or Thresher Maw could be seen. However, it appeared Shepard had seen _something_.

He fired a single shot into the air and said: "Come out!"

And indeed, an asari came crawling out from below the table where she had hid. Tali mentally scolded herself for not having noticed her.

"Alright, alright!" she pleaded and came to her feet. "Please! I don't mean any harm. I just want to get out!"

"Who are you?" Shepard simply asked.

"Rana Thanoptis, neurospecialist," the asari answered, "But the job isn't worth dying for. Or worse."

"Stop being dramatic, lady," Garrus demanded, "That's an old and used up strategy in interrogations."

Rana turned towards the turian. "You think the indoctrination only affects prisoners? Sooner or later Saren will want to dissect my brain, too!"

"Indoctrination research," Shepard said. "Yes, I saw the prisoners. This is more than just a breeding facility, isn't it?"

"Yes," Rana confirmed. "Saren is elevated about the chance to get an entire army of krogan, but I think understanding how indoctrination works is even more important to him. Hence we're studying Sovereign's effects on organic minds on this level. At least, that's what I assumed. Saren kept us in the dark as much as possible."

"Why are you helping him then?" Tali demanded to know.

"I didn't have the option of negotiating," Rana defended herself, "This position is a bit more... permanent than I had expected."

"That position - head of the indoctrination research efforts?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Rana answered, "My first action was to dissect the brain of my predecessor."

Shepard turned to Kaidan. "Lieutenant, take your group and guard the door. We'll have a chat with this lady here."

"Aye-aye, Commander," Kaidan confirmed and turned to go. The other marines and Garrus followed him.

As soon as they were at the door, Shepard faced Rana again. "I won't kill you for the hell of it," he told her, "but I want answers. What were you studying here?"

And so Rana told him, and by extension told the entire group. About Sovereign, about its signal or energy field turning people into mindless slaves. She told how those affected lose ever more will and in the end just stop thinking for themselves, and how this meant too heavily indoctrinated subjects were of no use for anybody anymore. She told how the signal was too strong, how it affected everybody near Sovereign, not just the test subjects. And she told how hence even Saren feared the effects - she did not think the rogue ex-Spectre was in control of the process. That was why the indoctrination research here was so crucial to him.

"That's all I know," Rana finally pleaded, "Are we good now? Can I go?"

"Not quite yet," Shepard answered coldly. "You did help Saren. You did conduct brutal experiments on unwilling prisoners."

"But you said..." Rana protested.

"Maybe I lied," Shepard interrupted her.

That surprised Tali, shocked her even. Shepard was not normally one to mistreat prisoners. Not even such prisoners as Dr Wayne or Martin Burns. She wondered just what he was thinking now.

"You had quite an important position here, going by your tale," Shepard continued, "So surely there are more ways with which you can help us?"

"I - I can get you into Saren's private lab," Rana promised, "This elevator behind me leads right towards it. You'll get full access to all of Saren's private files."

"That's a start," Shepard commented, "But I want more. If you can get access to such important locations that easily, surely you can also give us access to further important information?"

"Wh- What do you want?" Rana asked. She seemed to get ever more fearful.

"Everything," Shepard answered, "All your files on indoctrination. Whatever the hell they researched about husks over there. The cure for the genophage. Everything."

"I don't have access to all of it," Rana protested, "I can try but..."

"You'll get help," Shepard promised.

Understanding this as being her cue, Tali stepped forward.

It was a surprisingly easy task. Clearly the computer network of the facility's research laboratories had not been constructed by the geth. Its system structure hence was much more vulnerable to hacking to begin with. And equipped with Rana's passwords and identification signatures it became a child's play to Tali.

As Shepard had commanded, she simply grabbed absolutely everything. Every file belonging to any of the laboratories in the facilities was taken and copied. She amassed a huge amount of data that way. She not only filled her own omni-tool, but had to store data on Shepard's, Liara's and Wrex', too.

After a while, she only encountered files she already had copied once, directories she already had been in, nodes she already had accessed.

"I think I've caught everything, Commander," she announced.

"Good," Shepard commented. "Now, Ms Thanoptis, you also wanted to open up the way for us?"

The asari hastily nodded and rushed to the elevator, where she typed something on it's console. "It's done," she announced, "You won't see me again!"

Shepard raised his pistol in response. "I'm sorry. You helped us a great deal here, but this still doesn't bring justice to your victims!"

"What?" Rana shrieked.

"Your brutal experiments require punishment," Shepard explained loudly. And more quietly: "I'm sorry. But you know too much."

"No... No!" Rana shouted.

Shepard shot, several bullets right into the neurospecialist's head. She fell down immediately.

Tali could hardly believe her eyes. This was very much unlike Shepard. She had seen what Rana had done, she had seen the destroyed minds of the salarians, and so she actually thought that Rana deserved death - and yet she still was shocked at Shepard's actions.

"Was... Was that necessary?" Liara asked shaken.

Shepard's posture slumped down. He held his pistol limb in one hand. "It was," he said quietly. "I wished to all deities it had not been but it was. She knew we have the genophage cure. It's... damn. You've seen what she has done, but, no, it still wasn't right. But the stakes - we play with too high stakes here. As far as the galaxy is concerned, the genophage cure was destroyed here. Anything else, and we'll all end up one morning with our throats slid ear to ear."

Tali knew what Shepard meant. She did not like at all, not at all, but she knew what he meant. Still, the coldness with which he had executed the asari... It made Tali wonder if she really knew Shepard. If he were just the Commander, she would have been shocked, but would have written off the incident as a dire necessity. However, he had become more than just the Commander. Far more, in fact, as of this very day.

That thought made her feel nervous, and even a little bit depressed. She knew Shepard was right, she knew the fate of an entire species was at stake here, and she even believed Rana had deserved death. _And yet still... _She did not dwell on it. Rather, she followed Shepard as he stepped into the elevator. Kaidan's group was rejoining them. They all looked on Rana's corpse, but nobody commented on it.

The elevator went upward, and when it arrived at its destination, the group stepped out into a dimly blue-lit room covering an enormous space, both in area and height. Metal gangways formed several levels inside it. Shepard waved his team to explore the lower levels first.

At first, Tali had thought the blue light omnipresent in the room, but that was not so. There was also a red light somewhere, and a billowing green flickering right in front of them. It was emitted from a large staff or rod of sorts erected on this level of the gangways.

The quarian did not recognize it, but Kaidan did: "It's another beacon, Commander. Like the one on Eden Prime."

Shepard stared at it with a look of it disdain on his face.


	23. Ch23: Virmire III: The Stand

**Hey, sorry for the long wait, but it seems I have turned into a veritable magnet for computer problems over the past weeks. Well, time now to resolve who will die on Virmire. I am back in business ;)**

**000000**

The team had just entered Saren's private lab, but Shepard's mind was still at the encounter with Rana Thanoptis, the asari neurospecialist who had opened the way for them.

He had shot her. It had been necessary - she knew Shepard now had the genophage cure, and that was a dangerous knowledge. If she had been spared, and were to spread it, deliberately or accidentally, then this could have spelt certain death for Shepard. The Council would do _anything _to destroy the cure.

And it was not like Thanoptis had been an innocent. It was her who had led the brutal indoctrination experiments on the captured salarians. However, that was not in fact why Shepard had shot her. He had shot her for the simple reason that she had known too much. An action the likes of Cerberus or Saren would have done, people he always had held contempt for. And now he had done it himself.

He was interrupted from his brooding thoughts by Kaidan speaking up: "It's another beacon, Commander. Like the one on Eden Prime."

Shepard looked up. His eyes had caught the flickering green light before already, but his mind had not analyzed it. Now, he could see the beacon directly in front of him, a long-drawn construct surrounded by green light.

He knew what it meant: Information. _However__, __how__ to __best __access__ them__?_

He forced a slight smile. "Well, Liara, that's your chance. You can get to see Prothean experiences first hand. And you do have the Cipher to, well, decipher them, don't you?"

"Ah, that's true, Commander," the asari answered, "I could try to directly access it. I can understand why you propose that." _It __would__ spare __me __another __damn__ mindmeld__, __that__'__s __why__. _"But it might be unsafe. Those devices were constructed for Prothean minds, and even with the Cipher I don't know if I... I mean, we know you seem to be able to experience the beacons' visions with little ill effects, and..."

"So, I'm your lightning rod," Shepard commented, but his voice was actually friendlier than what could have been expected at such a comment. He realized Liara was right. They did know he could survive such an encounter, even relatively unharmed. There was no such guarantee for the asari.

"That would be a very crude metaphor, I think," Liara said, "I know it's uncomfortable for you, but it is a tried method, which we know - "

"It's all right, Liara," Shepard interrupted the archaeologist, who had begun to ramble, "I know what you mean." He sighed. "I don't like it. I don't like it _at __all_. However, you're right: We know I'll survive whatever is in that beacon. We don't know so about you. So well, it has to be me. It's just annoying, that's all."

He sighed, and fixated on the green flickering light in front of him with his eyes. Slowly, he approached it. Unpleasant memories surfaced, of the beacon on Eden Prime, the transmission of the Cipher and the mindmeld with Liara. This would be no different. Again a contact with a Prothean beacon. Yet, it was unavoidable. It would be painful, and he feared it, but it was the only way to gain the vital information the beacon might transmit.

He silently cursed in all terms and languages he could think of, and then finally took the last step forwards and activated the artifact's holographic controls. Immediately, his body was jerked upwards, but he hardly noticed that. Instead pure information flooded his mind, too much and too complex for him to understand it all at once.

Again he only saw fragments: Forms and shapes and cities, metal and people and space. And a message. That was the core of it all, he could feel it: A message, to everybody. But he could not say what it was, and the flow of information only ever increased - it filled his mind with no stop until he thought his head might burst. Ever new images appeared in his vision, terribly vague images that _hinted_ at something, yet he feared trying to understand it, feared for his sanity.

And then, it was over. His mind was free again, and his body no longer held. With a thump, he fell down to the ground. Fortunately, he managed to land on his feet, in a cowering position. Slowly, he tried to rise, but the world around him was spinning, and his muscles did not seem to belong to him. He felt groggy, like during a bad hangover. Like after he had graduated from the military biotic training. Or some nights after he had found Sarah's lifeless body.

He felt a something under his arm. Slowly, his senses returned to him, and he realized it was Tali trying to stabilise him. She had laid his arm over her neck and now tried to help him stand up. It was still difficult, but slowly and gradually Shepard managed to get up and stand straight again.

"Are you hurt?" Tali asked.

_I__ don__'__t__ know__, __to __be__ honest__. _But instead he answered: "It's... well, Shiala's transmission of the Cipher was worse." He forced a grin.

Finally he had some stability and sense of direction again. He noticed how Tali hastily withdrew from him. He turned to Liara and said: "I... I'm not sure just what I've seen. I'm especially not sure what new things I might have seen. But it... _felt_ complete." He shook his head. "So, who knows? Something good just might come out of this mission. Well, if we make it out alive with this new voodoo in my head, that is."

"That's true, Commander," Kaidan commented, "If you feel alright, we should continue."

"I feel well enough," Shepard claimed, even if he was a bit unsure about this in fact "And we have no time to waste."

That was certainly true, and moreover Shepard wanted them to finally get this damn mission over with. It had begun well enough, with the thought of near battle prompting him to finally have an open talk with Tali. A quick, tender smile hushed over his face as he thought of it. However, afterwards, everything had gone to hell.

He did not show it outwards, but it weighted on him that he had been forced to shoot the indoctrinated salarians, that he had been forced to shoot Rana Thanoptis. And more people would die because of his decisions, he knew. He had opted for a ground assault for the sole reason of securing Saren's genophage cure. It was secured now, but a price would still be paid, he was sure. Having chosen a ground assault would lead to deaths.

This all overlapped with the sense of certain doom the beacon had transmitted to him. As before, he could not distinguish facts in its visions, but he could feel emotions. Emotions of panic, a dire threat, and inevitable death.

Now, Shepard simply wanted to see this facility turned to radioactive rubble as soon as possible.

After the gangway's next corner it went upwards. After a further corner, and a further ramp, Shepard could see the gangway came to halt right in front of what looked like a giant, red holographic construct. He had no idea what it supposed to represent, it looked utterly alien. And whatever he had absorbed from the beacon's vision screamed within him at the sight of it.

"I have the feeling something bad is about to happen," Tali commented.

Shepard could not disagree. A console was standing in front of the hologram, but just as Shepard was about to touch it, a loud, booming and deep voice bellowed through the room:

"**You ****are**** not****Saren****.**"

"What is that?" Tali asked, "Some kind of VI interface?"

That had been Shepard's first thought as well. The combination of console, hologram and voice communication would have fit. However, the voice continued:

"**Rudimentary ****creatures ****of ****flesh**** and ****blood****. ****You ****touch**** my ****mind****, ****yet ****you ****cannot**** even**** grasp ****the**** nature ****of ****my ****existence****.**"

"Well, that's not how VIs usually talk," Shepard commented, though this sarcasm was largely to mask his own shock. _Wouldn__'__t __do__ to__ undermine __team__ morale __by __appearing __weak__. _ He remembered the various uses of the visor he had bought on the Citadel, a piece covering his left eye similar to the one Garrus wore. He set it to recording and spoke up: "Identify yourself, hologram."

"**There****'****s**** a ****realm ****of ****existence ****so ****far ****beyond**** your**** own ****you ****cannot ****even ****imagine ****it****. ****I ****am ****beyond**** your ****comprehension****. ****I ****am ****Sovereign****.**"

"Sovereign? The Ship?" Shepard asked. Then it dawned on him: "No, not just some Reaper ship. You are an actual Reaper, aren't you?"

"**Reaper****? ****A**** label ****created ****by ****the ****Protheans ****to**** give ****voice ****to ****their ****destruction****. ****In ****the ****end****, ****what ****they ****chose**** to**** call ****us ****is ****irrelevant****. ****We**** simply ****are****.**"

"You attacked the Protheans 50,000 years ago, destroyed their entire civilization, and then obliterated any evidence of your actions," Liara commented, or maybe accused the Reaper.

"**The**** pattern ****has ****repeated**** itself ****more ****times**** than**** you ****can ****imagine****. ****Organic ****civilizations ****rise****, ****evolve****, ****advance****. ****And ****at ****the**** apex ****of ****their ****glory**** they**** are ****extinguished****. ****This**** cycle**** cannot ****be ****broken****. ****I**** have ****watched ****countless ****civilizations ****die****, ****each**** of**** them**** defiant ****to ****the ****end****. ****Each ****of ****them ****was ****destroyed****.**"

"You claim to have personally seen all this?" Liara asked. "You claim to have lived at least 50,000 years? That's impossible!" Despite her strong rejection of the claims, Shepard could see how the asari became unsure. It was understandable. They were face to face with an almost mythical enemy, face to face with the doom of the Protheans.

"**Organic**** life**** is**** nothing**** but ****a****genetic ****mutation****, ****an ****accident****. ****Your**** lives**** are ****measured ****in**** decades ****or ****centuries****. ****You**** wither ****and ****die****. ****We**** are ****eternal****. ****The ****pinnacle ****of ****evolution ****and ****existence****. ****Before ****us****, ****you****'****re ****nothing****. ****Your**** extinction**** is**** inevitable****. ****We**** are**** the ****end ****of ****everything****.**"

"And yet, you waste your words on us. Do you need to reassure yourself?" Shepard asked. He figured two things were most important right now that they had the opportunity to face the great enemy: Getting information, and reassuring the team. Shepard himself was pretty shaken, but this was not the time to show it. "Tell me, Reaper - what do you want? Why did your kind destroy the Protheans? Why do you threaten us now?"

"**My ****kind ****transcends ****your ****very ****understanding****. ****We**** are ****each ****a ****nation****. ****Independent****, ****free**** of ****all ****weakness****. ****What ****we ****do**** is ****too ****great ****for ****your ****primitive**** senses ****to ****see****; ****for ****your ****feeble**** minds ****to**** analyze****.**"

"More mythical drivel. Entertain me. Let my try to understand," Shepard demanded. Such demands were preposterous, of course, he knew that. But they served to make the giant, alien _thing _in front of him appear his equal, or maybe even his inferior. And that in turn would serve to reassure the team.

"**Impertinence ****born ****out ****of ****ignorance****. ****What**** you ****try**** is ****irrelevant****. ****You ****fumble**** in ****ignorance****, ****incapable**** of ****understanding****. ****The**** Protheans ****held ****ideas**** of**** resistance ****like ****you ****do****. ****But ****they**** did ****not ****create ****the ****Citadel****. ****They ****did ****not ****forge ****the ****mass ****relays****. ****They ****found ****them****, ****the**** legacy**** of ****my ****kind****. ****Now ****you ****did****. ****Your ****achievements**** are ****empty****. ****We**** engineered ****them****. ****Your ****existence ****is ****pathetic****. ****You**** cannot ****hope**** to ****understand ****even**** the ****slightest ****facade ****of ****our ****actions****.**"

"The Protheans got the knowledge to build the mass relay network from civilizations before them," Liara disagreed. Shepard wondered how this all must seem to her, the expert on the fall of the Protheans. Now she stood directly in front of the reason for it. "Your claim is empty. Why would you create the mass relays and then simply leave them to be found by others?"

"**Your civilization is based on the technology of the Mass Relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the path we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.**"

"It's... Goddess, it's possible..." Liara muttered.

This was a giant revelation, a further detail that made the Reapers appear even more invincible. _Which__ might __have__ been __Sovereign__'__s __intention__, __but __who__ can imagine __how__ or __what__ sentient __space__ships __think__?_ In any case, Shepard knew he had to intervene again: "And yet you are incapable even of only telling us why. Then at least tell us - Who built you?"

"**We ****have ****no**** beginning****. ****We ****have ****no ****end****. ****Millions ****of ****years ****before ****your ****kinds ****evolved ****to ****their ****present ****primitive ****forms****, ****we**** already ****culled**** your**** predecessors****. ****Millions**** of ****years ****after ****you**** have ****long ****been ****forgotten ****we ****will ****endure****. ****We ****are**** eternal****, ****and ****the**** time**** of ****our ****return ****is ****at ****hand****. ****Our ****numbers**** will ****darken ****the**** sky**** of**** every ****world****.**"

" 'We are Legion, for we are many...' " Shepard muttered. Not exactly what he had asked, but he realized that there was no getting answers from that thing. "It doesn't matter. I don't think - "

However, he was interrupted. "**Your**** words ****are ****as ****empty ****as ****your ****future****. ****You ****cannot ****escape ****your ****doom****. ****I**** am ****the ****vanguard ****of ****your ****destruction****. ****This ****conversation ****is ****over****.**"

A series of explosions shook the room, shattering its windows and destroying several electronics. Shepard covered himself best as he could, but in the end none of the explosions were dangerous to him or his team.

_An __amply __dramatic __exit __for __that __thing__, _Shepard thought as he straightened himself. Sovereign's hologram slowly faded out.

Shepard's communicator peeped, and Pressly's voice could be heard: "Commander? We have a problem."

"I'm listening," Shepard said.

"The ship we saw on Eden Prime, the one you identified as 'Sovereign' - it's here," Pressly explained. Shepard could not quite suppress a thought of 'I know', but Sovereign's _physical_ presence nearby _was_ news. Bad news. "Came out of nowhere. Probably it was here the entire time and our sensors couldn't catch it. But now it just pulled a turn out of standstill that would sheer any of our ships apart. It's coming your way, Commander, and it's coming fast. You need to wrap up things as fast as possible."

"Understood," Shepard confirmed. "We're now on a time window. Keep us updated on Sovereign's movement. Otherwise, the old plan still stands. Ground Team out."

"I don't think any electronic device or stored data here survived," Tali spoke up. She was standing at the nearby console and had just checked it, "This console is totally fried."

"No reason to stay here then," Shepard commented, "Let's get to the target area, quickly. We've gotten unwanted attention."

As the team began to move and run Shepard risked a short glance back. He looked at the destroyed console. He had seen the enemy. He now truly knew what was at stake.

…

"One less to worry about" Garrus commented, as he took down his sniper rifle for a while. Again he had eliminated one of the advancing geth platforms with it.

"These long range distances aren't my forte," Shepard muttered.

After a tiresome way through the outside of the facility, the team had finally managed to reach the breeding grounds. Somewhere not far from here the nuke was supposed to be placed. In fact, the team had already taken over the AA tower of the breeding grounds, too - an important requisite for mission success, because the AA gun looked like it would be very well able to shred the _Normandy_ to pieces.

"I just hope that our qu... - that Tali will be quick enough," one of the marines, Private Kowit stated.

Shepard could only agree. Tali had been stated that she might be able to not just disable the AA gun, but to hack it and take it over. Shepard had full trust in her abilities, but she had been working on the issue for some minutes now, and the Commander was keenly aware that during this time Sovereign was coming nearer and nearer. What was more, as soon as Tali had started working on the AA gun's geth console, enemy reinforcements had arrived and were now besieging the tower.

The team was already so near to the designated bomb site, that any wait of just a few minutes was nearly driving Shepard crazy. _Sovereign __is __coming__!_

"Scoped and dropped!" Garrus announced.

Shepard sighed. "You'll have to teach me how to use those rifles one of those days, Garrus," he said while using his meagre pistol against the enemy.

"That's an ambitious order even for you, Commander" Garrus joked

"I got it!" Tali spoke up from behind, "The AA gun is ours to control now."

"_Good __work __on__ the __gun__, __Shadow__ Team_"Kirrahe's voice could be heard through the team's communicators, "_We__'__re__ moving __in__._"

"No more geth on the ground," Garrus reported, "We're good to go."

"Maybe we should wait for the salarians to arrive," Liara proposed, "to focus our forces."

"Not a bad idea, but we don't have the time!" Shepard disagreed, "You've heard Pressly, Sovereign's coming. We need to get to the meeting point!" He hesitated slightly. "Garrus, you stay here, to control the gun and receive the salarians."

"Aye-aye, Commander," the turian simply confirmed.

"Make the most of your sniper nest," Shepard commented grinning. He already had impatiently half turned to go. "The rest, with me."

The team, sans Garrus, assembled, and an elevator let them down the tower - directly to the heart of the breeding facility.

Shepard was surprised that as soon as he left the tower building he was stepping into water. Very shallow water, but still, it seemed the breeding grounds had been flooded - either as part of their design, or because they already had fulfilled their use. To both sides of him there were technical pods. They looked nothing like the sleeping pods aboard the Normandy, though. Instead, they were giant and crude.

_That __must__ have__ been__ where__ they __have__ grown __the __krogan__. _

The team ran through the water. The designated nuke site was shortly ahead, and there was really no time to lose anymore.

"Geth ahead!" Shepard announced.

The synthetics had gathered at what appeared to be a large gate. And according to the map Shepard had his visor display, that gate was leading directly to the geothermal taps were the bomb was to be planted.

Resistance was actually fairly light - only some few light platforms, mostly those annoying, hopping Stalkers. But they could still _delay_ the team.

"At them with everything you have, no long-drawn combat!" Shepard ordered. After the little enforced pause on the AA tower, everybody shields were fully recharged again. And the team just had no time.

The geth had no chance against the onslaught of seven charging organics. The team paid its price, as both Kaidan and Liara ended up with failing shields and lightly wounded. However, in the day and age of medi-gel, that was an acceptable price.

Shepard opened the gate. Despite the hurry, the team still maintained enough professional caution to get a good overview over the area behind before rushing in, but as soon as they saw that no geth was present, they rushed through the gate. Behind it was a comparable large and open space, flooded in ankle-deep water - the designated nuke site.

"Shepard to _Normandy_, we're at the rendezvous point," Shepard announced.

"We have you on our sensors," Pressly replied, "Joker is bringing the ship in right now. Looks like he'll manage to land very close to the planned location, too."

Shepard was expecting geth to jump them every minute now. Exposed as they were here, with the _Normandy_ soon landing, it would have been a perfect territory for an ambush. However, no threat materialized. Instead, soon the _Normandy_ could be seen swooping in from the air.

The hatch to the cargo bay opened before the landing procedure had been fully finished. Kaidan and his marines jumped aboard and helped some crew men to unload the modified salarian reactor core, which would now serve as nuclear bomb.

Kaidan looked somewhat distrustful at the device and handled it with the utmost care. Shepard could understand it - it represented a gigantic destruction potential. It could not actually detonate unless activated, but that was what logic was telling, not one's Lieutenant then turned towards Shepard and reported: "Bomb is in position, we're all set h...- "

However, he was interrupting by an incoming comm call by Ashley: "Commander, do you read me?"

"The nuke is almost ready, Chief," Shepard reported, "Get to the rendezvous point!"

"Negative, Commander," Ashley disagreed, "The geth have us pinned down at the AA tower. We're taking heavy casualties. We'll never make the rendezvous point in time!"

"Hold them off unt... -" Shepard began.

However, he was cut off by another comm call, this time Pressly: "Commander, our sensors pick up several incoming geth ships. They'll pin us down here on the ground!"

It had been agreed that it was a high priority that this should not happen. Shepard breathed out, cleared his mind and gave orders: "Pressly, get the _Normandy_ into the air. We'll call you down again immediately before we need pick-up. Ashley, hold your ground. Kaidan, you and your marines will guard the nuke. The rest of you, with me, we'll go get Ashley, Garrus and the salarians."

Shepard had already turned and run as several aye-ayes reached him. The visor he wore over his left eye provided him with a tactical map overlay. According to this, Ashley, Garrus and the salarians had retreated to a roof top near the actual AA tower. Taking the elevator up the tower would hence not have helped. Another route, making a slight detour and using another elevator was necessary.

Some single krogan tried to stand in their way, but they had no chance. Even though the team now only consisted of Shepard, Wrex, Tali and Liara anymore, it more or less simply mowed them down and made their way to the elevator. There simply was no time to be left with long drawn out combat. Their besieged allies needed their help, and furthermore, Sovereign was coming.

As they were in the tower, Pressly announced over the communication system: "Commander, our attempted retreat has failed. The geth ship have intercepted us. Currently naval combat at knife fight conditions. We're attempting to get away from it."

That was bad. That was very bad. If the _Normandy_ was destroyed then they would all die on this planet.

As soon as the elevator had reached its destination on the facility's rooftops, Shepard and his team hastened to get to Ashley and Garrus. It was still some distance to walk on foot. They had, according to the map displayed on Shepard's visor, reached half the distance, when Pressly's voice could again be heard in the communicators: "We've managed to break away from the fight, but so has one of the geth dropships. It's making straight for the nuke site!"

"Did you hear that, Lieutenant?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, sir, taking up defensive positions," Kaidan replied, "We're - it's here. It's starting to drop geth all over the place."

Shepard interrupted his running. Instead, now his mind raced. "Can you hold them off?"

"Negative, Commander," Kaidan reported, "The ship is still dropping enemy reinforcements. There's just too many of them." He sounded eerily calm. "I'm setting the nuke."

"The nuke? What..." Shepard began, but then interrupted himself and continued with a croaked voice: "I... understand." _Damn__ you__, __Kaidan__! __And__ I __told _Ashley _not __to__ do__ any __heroics__! _Yet, purely tactically it had been the absolutely right choice.

"Go get Ashley, and then get the hell out of here," Kaidan told the Commander.

Now Ashley spoke up on the communication system: "Belay that! We can handle ourselves. Go back and get the Lieutenant!"

Shepard had no doubt that Ashley with all the remaining troops at her side, including Garrus and the salarians, could hold off the geth long enough for Shepard to get Kaidan and then come back to her. However, when Kaidan had set the nuke, he had started yet another race against the time. It was the nuke that did not allow Shepard to pick up both groups, the one at the nuke site and the one at the AA tower.

He had to make a decision.

A brutal decision. Part of his mind complained about having to make them, but he was in command. It was his responsibility. And he had lost men under his command before.

However, so far he had not yet send anybody to their death. He so far never had been forced to choose who gets to live and who has to die.

"Kaidan, can you hold off the geth long enough for the nuke to detonate?" he asked. His voice was low and grave, as heavy as his mind.

"You've heard Kirrahe," Kaidan answered, "Once set, the nuke is practically impossible to disarm. And we certainly won't give the geth enough time to try."

"I know you won't," Shepard answered and sighed. "Ashley, tell the _Normandy_ to meet us at the AA tower."

"Yes, Commander," Ashley confirmed, "Ah, I..."

"You know it's the right choice, Ash," Kaidan said.

"I'm sorry, Kaidan," Shepard stated quietly, just so loud enough for his comm unit to pick it up, "I'm glad you signed up despite... everything. I'll make sure your sacrifice won't be forgotten." _Damn__ you__, __Kaidan__! __Damn __you__, __Saren__!_

"It's been a pleasure serving under you, Jon," Kaidan replied, "I know you'll catch Saren. And make Udina's live a living hell, will y - ah, more of them..."

The contact broke off.

"Damn it all to hell!" Shepard cursed. It was a loud and angry outburst of emotion, surprising his team mates. He breathed out. "We'll make this sacrifice worth it." The words came out pressed. "Hurry, to the tower!"

Shepard stormed forward. He was angry at Kaidan's self-sacrifice, angry at the geth for having forced it, angry at Saren who led the geth. But now most of all he was angry at himself. A commanding officer in the field would lose men, nothing outstanding about that. But now he himself had condemned them, Kaidan and Privates Klein and Kowit, to death. _It __was __never __supposed__ to __be __like __this__! _

He focused his rage into renewed energy racing through his body. Since Kaidan was giving his life for the mission, the Commander would now make sure that at least at the AA tower _everybody _would be saved - Garrus, Ashley, her two marines and the salarians.

The team had to go up another elevator, before they finally arrived at their designation. Just as they stepped outside the elevator, Ashley spoke up: "Commander, you need to move faster, we can't hold off those things for much lon... - Watch the corners! Suppressive fire!"

"We're here, Ash," Shepard announced and again started to run.

He and his team managed to hit the flank of a group of geth. The fight was quickly ended when Shepard aimed at a fuel tank near them and let it explode, destroying all near-by platforms. Heavy smoke rose over the battlefield.

The team ran further forward, now so near to their embattled allies - when suddenly a rapid succession of biotic bursts came through the smoke, out of the sky.

"Take cover!" Shepard shouted, and jumped behind a nearby crate. _Where__ do__ all __these__ crates__ always__ come __from__, __anyway__?_

As the smoke cleared, Shepard could see their enemy: Saren himself, standing atop a flying board. He was glowing blue and throwing further biotic bursts. Which was odd, because reports had never mentioned him having biotic powers. He flew over the battlefield, and then turned around for another go.

Before Shepard could give orders to coordinate fire on the turian, Wrex spoke up: "Geth, behind us! At least a dozen platforms."

_So __much __for __concentrating __on__Saren__. _"Wrex, Tali, take care of the geth. Liara, with me, we'll take care of Saren," he ordered. He would have liked Tali to be at his side, of course, but he would not allow such sentimental wishes to get in the way of professional conduct. _Technical __skills __against __geth__, __biotic__ skills __against __organics__._

He and Liara had just taken up their positions when Saren's airboard came flying towards them again. This time, however, it descended, and Saren jumped off it. Immediately, Shepard began to fire on the turian. The air flickered blue around the Saren, indicating very strong shields. The rogue ex-Spectre in the meanwhile simply walked calmly towards Shepard, and eventually the Commander had to retreat back behind his cover to wait for his shotgun to cool down.

Saren used this to speak up: "I applaud you, Shepard. My geth were utterly convinced the salarians were the real thr... - "

Before he could finish he was thrown into the air by biotic energy. Liara had finally managed to act.

Unfortunately, the turian seemed to have a counter for such attacks: His airboard moved on its own and transported Saren away. He came to his feet again behind another crate, now himself safely in cover.

"Ah, I forgot," he said. "Your dislike of parleys. I wanted to congratulate you on a very effective diversion, but it doesn't matter: I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's at stake here."

"The entire galaxy is at stake here," Shepard replied angrily. "The Reapers destroyed the Protheans, annihilated them completely, and now they want to do the same to us. And you you're helping them!"

"The Reapers' victory is inevitable with or without my help," Saren claimed, "You've seen the visions from the beacon. You of all people should know what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. The Protheans tried and were utterly destroyed. Trillions dead. But what if they had bowed before the invaders? Would the Protheans still exist? Is submission not preferable to extinction?"

"The Protheans were not the first civilization destroyed by the Reapers," Shepard countered, "They never let anybody survive. Do you really think you're the first organic to ever have those ideas?" _Oh__ to __hell __with __that__. _There was no talking to Saren. Liara's idea had been the right one. Shepard began to move behind his crate, in an attempt to find a way to get to Saren and attack him. With Sovereign coming and the nuke ticking there was no time for such frivolities.

"And do _you_really think fighting the Reapers is a workable alternative?" Saren asked mocking, "We organics will fight even when we know we cannot win. We are driven by emotion instead of logic. That is why I never came forward to the Council with this."

By then Shepard had shifted to the opposite corner of his crate, and cautiously looked beyond it. There was an opening leading straight to Saren, but he was unsure whether he should risk exploiting it.

Oblivious to this, Saren continued his little speech: "But if we work with the Reapers - if we make ourselves useful - think how many lives could be spared! Once I understood this I joined Sovereign, though I was aware of the... dangers. I had hoped this facility could protect me."

That was a verbal, and maybe even psychological opening, so Shepard decided to use it before attacking. "A slim hope. Everybody coming in contact with it ends up a slave. And you know that. You're afraid it's controlling your thoughts - and maybe it already is, who can say?"

"I've studied the effects of indoctrination," Saren answered, "The more control Sovereign exerts, the less useful becomes the subject. That is my saving grace. Sovereign needs me to find the Conduit, so my mind is still my own - for now."

"Don't you see?" Shepard pleaded. "You're just a tool. You cannot even be sure how much autonomy you still have, after all it's all in your mind. And in the end, even if your mind is still your own, you'll be discarded as a tool, tossed aside with all the rest. After the galaxy has burned down, the Reapers won't need you anymore, in whatever form."

"Do you think you can sway me?" Saren asked. "Don't you think I already have thought about this? Sovereign is just a machine, it... -"

_Screw__ this__. _Shepard charged. He unleashed a biotic warp at Saren and then stormed forwards firing. A moment later, Liara came out of her cover and joined the fight.

Surprised, Saren jumped onto his board and ascended skyward. It even took him a while before responding the fire. However, he was still protected by powerful shields, and now he was a mobile, airborne enemy as well. Saren's counter-fire soon proved to be devastating, keeping Shepard and Liara in their cover.

Shepard did manage to hit Saren several times, but he was hit himself, too and worst of all was all the time lost in the process. Ashley still struggled against the geth, Sovereign was still on its way, and the nuke was still ticking - and here he was cowering in covers from Saren's attacks!

Saren seemed to push the battle, too, though. _Of __course__. __The __nuke __timer__ works __against__ him__, __too__. _His board flew ever more risky maneuvers, bringing him ever more often in range of Shepard's and Liara's guns.

Finally, he flew one maneuver too many. His board descended right in front of Shepard, who hit him with everything he had, until his shotgun overheated. Finally, Saren's shields came down - or rather, they overcharged. A strong energetic wave hit Shepard, who flew away and landed on his back.

Saren jumped from his board, threw away his weapons and pulled Shepard up his collar. His strength seemed superhuman, even super-turian. Helplessly, Shepard struggled in the rogue ex-Spectre's grip. He was reminded of the days of street fights in his gang days, but he never had fought anybody like Saren now.

Saren held Shepard with one arm over the edge of the rooftop. The Commander dangled above the waters of Virmire's oceans. _Not __like __this__, __it __wasn__'__t__ supposed__ to __end__ like __this__! _Bad enough that Saren had beat him. Bad enough that he would kill him now. Humiliating enough that it happened in direct physical confrontation. But worst of all was what this would mean for the galaxy.

A klaxon call could be heard. _The __nuke__! _Saren was surprised by this and looked out from where the call came. This was all the opportunity Shepard needed: He hit the turian right into his face. Saren staggered back, and the grip on Shepard was ended. He came down at the building's edge, nearly falling down to the sea before pulling himself on top of the roof again.

While still kneeling, he drew his pistol and began firing at Saren, forcing him some steps back. And then he saw something else - Liara, Tali and Wrex came storming towards the fight. They finally seemed to have defeated the geth reinforcements.

Saren saw it, too. With an impassive face, he stepped on his board again, and flew away. Shepard fired some shots at him, but his or the board's shields seemed to have recharged some, and the bullets did not hit the turian.

As soon as the others had reached him, Tali spoke up: "The nuke..."

"I know," Shepard interrupted her. "Let's go get Ashley."

It was then that the _Normandy_ came flying in. In an improbably precise maneuver, Joker brought it to a halt right above the rooftop, only a mere meter from the ground.

The arrival of the ship seemed to be a beacon call. Shepard saw Ashley, Garrus and salarians coming running toward it. He was immensely relieved.

As everybody was jumping into the open cargo bay hatch of the ship, Ashley came to Shepard and said: "Very glad to see you and the ship, skipper."

"Status report!" Shepard said.

"Captain Kirrahe is dead, sir, along with his entire team," Ashley reported. "Commander Rentola's team is blocking one of the access paths against the geth, I hope they can make it to here. As for my own team, two of the salarians and one Marine, Private Bethlen, have fallen. Everybody else is in a state to evacuate - well, as you can see, sir."

Shepard nodded. "Then go get onto the ship, too. You've done a good job, Chief."

"Have I? Kaidan now dies because of..." Ashley began.

However, Shepard interrupted her: "We'll honour his sacrifice. Now get your ass onto the ship!"

The last arrivals were indeed Rentola and the sorry, battered remnants of his team. Shepard entered the ship last, behind them.

He did not wait for the ship to move. Immediately, he stormed into the CIC. He almost pushed aside one of the crew as he took over one of the sensor consoles. He had it display a visual feed. Only seconds after he switched to it, he could see it on the screen: A huge, fiery blast tore apart the cloud cover over a large region of the planet. The nuke had detonated, destroying everything nearby.

Including Kaidan and two of his marines.

Shepard looked up again, but his shoulders slumped down. His mind was entirely empty. Not even thoughts of sadness or rage entered it. There was nothing to think anymore. It had happened, Kaidan had died, and that because he, Shepard, had condemned him to die.

There was nothing he could do about it anymore, either. Slowly, he turned away from the console. Pressly and Joker could get the Normandy away just fine, he was sure. So, he made for his cabin.

On the stairs he saw Tali in front of him. When she noticed him, she stopped and turned. "Jon..." she began softly.

Shepard however merely shook his head. There was nothing to think, nothing to do and definitely nothing to say. He tried to walk past Tali.

However, the quarian extended both arms and touched him at the shoulders. This made him stop, though he did not know what to do now.

Tali drew him into a comforting embrace.


	24. Ch24: After Virmire

Shepard breathed harshly, trying best as he could to fight off his emotions.

Kaidan was dead, alongside two other marines, killed in a nuclear blast he had initiated himself. That blast had destroyed Saren's base, and thus the mission had been a success, but at what price? Everything had gone absolutely crazy at the end of it, with geth swarming their positions both at the designated nuke site and at the AA tower held by Ashley and the salarians. And thus Shepard had been forced to make a brutal choice - he had only been able to save and evacuate one team. He had chosen the the larger team at the AA tower. It had been a rational, logical choice - but it still meant he had condemned Kaidan to death.

He had lost men under his command before, but he had never been forced to choose between deaths, had never been forced to explicitly send people to their deaths. And as he experienced now this was something different altogether. Worse yet, initially Shepard had spoken out for a space bombardment of the base instead of a ground assault. In that case Kaidan would still have been alive, most likely. The only reason he in the end had agreed to a ground assault was not for the sake of the mission, but for getting Saren's genophage cure. He had the cure now, but still the fact remained - those marines had died not for the sake of the mission, but for the sake of his, Shepard's, own private secondary objective.

He really hoped the krogan were worth it.

Tali's arms were around him. They were standing on the stairs between first and second deck on the _Normandy_. Tali stood some steps higher and had drawn him into an embrace, where he currently rested. He could only feel the cold exterior of her suit, and yet Tali provided a sort of anchor for him, amidst his racing thoughts.

He regained some calm and breathed out several times. "Thank you," he whispered. In response, Tali's touch merely tightened a bit.

They remained in this position for some time longer, until Shepard heard steps on the deck below him. Decisive, angry steps accompanied by something that sounded almost like a growl. _Ashley__, _Shepard recognized. He knew that of course he was not the only one hit by Kaidan's death, and Ashley seemed to have been hit especially hard. She had insisted Shepard should have saved the Lieutenant instead of her, and had looked utterly depressed during the evacuation of her team.

Slowly, Shepard, withdrew from Tali. It was not so much that he feared being discovered. What went on between him and her was an open secret aboard anyway. It was rather that he realized he really needed to check up on Ashley, to not let her remain alone in her own pain. They were after all both soldiers, comrades on the battlefield. He looked at Tali, smiled, and then turned to intercept Ashley.

He found her pacing like a wild, caged animal on the second deck, in front of the stairs. As soon as she spotted him, she began to talk rapidly: "I... I couldn't watch it. I can't believe we left Kaidan to die. How could we just leave him down there?"

_How __could __we__? _That question hit him like a blunt strike. That was what had gone round and round in Shepard's head, too. How could _he_ just have condemned Kaidan to die? "There was no time," he managed to press out with a croaked voice. He breathed out and gathered himself. "The _Normandy_ could not have evacuated both groups. Kaidan gave his life to save the rest of us. All of us."

"That should've been me," Ashley declared. It was surprisingly decisive and even angry.

"Really, Ashley?," Shepard asked surprised. "And what about the people with you, Garrus and the salarians?"

"I know, I'm not trying to..." Ashley began, only to interrupt herself. "You saved my life and I'm grateful for that. It's just..." Her voice trailed off.

"I simply tried to save as many people as possible," Shepard stated quietly, knowing very well that it had not been enough.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Ashley apologized, "You had to think of everything, everybody. But... Kaidan could have seen everything you achieved for him and the other biotics. There was a future for him, but now he's dead, while I... I would gladly have stayed behind."

"Ashley..." Shepard began unsurely, "When we talked at Armistice Day, you told me you wouldn't fall on a sword for your grandfather's sake. So, don't!"

"That's not fair, there's more..." Ashley protested, but again her voice became lost.

"Is there?" Shepard asked, "Tell me: Are you really that willing to throw your life away?"

"No, I... I want to live," Ashley stated, "But at least my death would have had some purpose, if it could clean our family's name. Kaidan's death, though - it's so senseless!"

"No death has any purpose," Shepard said darkly, and then softened his voice: "Please, Ashley. You have your own life, don't try to throw it away on account of your grandfather. I don't think he would have wanted that, either." Ashley did not respond to that and remained silent. Shepard pressed on: "And there's more. We need you. Kaidan is dead, and..." Now his own words hit Shepard. _Kaidan __is __dead__._ The Commander breathed out. "Kaidan is dead. No amount of lamentation can bring him back. If we now also lose you the entire team will fall apart. We need you, the mission needs you, I need you."

"Do you?" Ashley asked weakly, "Others can do the fighting just as well as me. You have your Spectre entourage... and... and Tali..." She stopped. "Ah, sorry Commander, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay," Shepard reassured her, even though he felt uneasy. "Everybody knows already anyway, I think." That at least was true enough. "And yes, others can do the fighting as well. But not as good as you." He attempted to force a smile on his face - but failed utterly. "And who would keep me from doing even more shenanigans?"

"But what do we do now?" Ashley pleaded, "Saren's base is destroyed, but Kaidan is dead, and I...I don't know..."

"We'll keep the pressure on Saren," Shepard answered, forcing himself to sound decisive, "We'll chase him, we'll hunt him down, and we'll make him pay for every single death he has caused. He has Kaidan's blood on his hands, and every single drop of it will be avenged. This I swear to you." And while he had said so in the intention to get some spirit back into Ashley, he meant every word of it. He would not let get Saren away. Not after today. Not after what he had seen on Virmire, and not after Kaidan's death.

"Yes, sir," Ashley confirmed, "You're right. I'm... we'll get it done."

Shepard was not sure if he had truly reached the Gunnery Chief, but her reply would have to do for now. "Get some rest. Ash. You've earned it. We all have."

"Aye-aye, sir. And you?" Ashley asked.

A good question. Shepard remained silent for a while. _We__ need __to __find __Saren__... _He answered: "Unfortunately, I still have one contribution to the mission to make, but don't worry about me."

Ashley looked at him puzzled, but didn't say anything. Instead she walked off towards the sleeping pods.

Shepard watched her go. There was indeed something he could do right now to help the mission, something he even should do right now, but he really did not look forward to it. On the other hand, maybe that was a reason to get it behind him as quickly as possible.

He sighed and, still clad in his mission armour, walked to the medbay.

However, he did not need any medical attention from Dr Chakwas. The mission had been painful also physically, and his shields and armours had often been breached, but he had received no injury that medi-gel was not capable of fixing. Rather he walked towards the door at the opposite side of the medbay. As it had no bell to ring, he knocked. He was not willing to simply walk in. Liara had been on the mission as well; maybe she needed some time for herself.

However, her soft, monotone voice answered promptly: "Come in."

Shepard opened the door and took one step in. "Did I... come at a bad time?" he asked carefully.

"Ah... no, not at all," Liara answered. She was sitting at her desk and looked over her back. She was still in armour, too. "I... I was just thinking. About the mission. And about Lieut... Kaidan."

"He'll be missed," Shepard said as he approached her. "And that's not just a phrase, he truly will be."

Liara put her arms on the table and rested her head on her fingers, rubbing her temples. "And yet it seems there is so much more at stake that I do not know whether it even makes sense to mourn a single life."

Shepard knew what she meant. There was a certain melancholy about it. It was possible nothing made any sense anymore. And yet... "If we were just numbers it would make no sense at all to try to stop the Reapers," he stated softly, yet decisively "Each single life is unique, and precious."

"Now you sound like my... Benezia," Liara said. "That is, before... before she allied herself to Saren. You're right, of course. Kaidan will be missed."

"And he'll be avenged," Shepard claimed. "We must keep hunting Saren. And hence... ah, that is - we've gotten new information down there. Or rather I have, and..." His voice trailed off. He did not like what he was about to ask for.

"You want me to initiate another mindmeld?" Liara concluded for him. "That's probably for the best, but now? We're not even out of armour yet."

"I know, but after what we've seen on Virmire - we need the Council's support," Shepard explained, "So I need to write a convincing report, as soon as possible, and with all available information."

"That makes sense," Liara agreed. "Very well, I'll go inform Dr Chakwas..."

Shepard held up both hands and thus stopped her from rising from her seat. "Not necessary. I... well, you surely know why I had our first mindmeld happen under her medical supervision. It was not for medical reasons; it was to create distance, sterility. To force pure professionality."

Liara nodded stiffly, obviously unhappy about that thought. Shepard continued: "But - I've come to trust you. I'll be honest: I still don't like the thought of another mindmeld. Not at all. But we have to do it, and it'll be uncomfortable with or without Dr Chakwas. And I do trust you'll be... professional about it with or without her."

"Ah... Thank you, Jonathan," Liara said surprised. "I have read up further on mindmeld techniques. If I go on like this I might soon become an authority on 'narrow band' mindmelds. If for no other reason that hardly any other asari aims at specialising in it."

Shepard chuckled lightly. "Being an expert is always useful, but sorry for making you go against your culture's convictions."

"As I've said before, it's your mind, so it's only fair that I try to respect your wishes as best as I can," Liara said. She stood up and faced the Commander. "Now shall we do it right now, get it behind you?"

"Probably for the best," Shepard agreed. "You seem kinda distracted, though."

Liara slid back into her seat. "I probably am," she conceded, "The whole mission was crazy. We saw an actual Reaper. Only a year ago I would have rejoiced at knowing for certain what caused the fall of the Protheans. Now, it looks like a horrible prospect."

"I know what you mean," Shepard said, "Intellectually I knew about what threat the Reapers presented for quite some time now. But... with the new visions, and with the talk with Sovereign - now I can also _feel_ what is at stake. I don't know. Maybe I have squandered too much time before because I could not feel it so far."

"Don't be too hard on yourself!" Liara exclaimed surprisingly decisively, "Yes, you took away time and resources from the main mission, but always for a good purpose. Even if the Reapers invaded now, it would not change what you have achieved. We asari believe we have to appreciate any good times given to us, no matter how short - and you have ensured that quite many people who absolutely deserve it will have their lives improved, no matter how short this might last. Besides, I think you still can beat back Saren's and Sovereign's schemes."

"Yes, let's hope so," Shepard agreed. Liara unconditional approval of his actions made him glad, but he was still unsure about whether to find her arguments true, "Well, we did destroy his base now, and we have him running."

"Truth be told, after what we have observed on the planet I actually feel a little sorry for Saren now," Liara admitted.

"Don't be!" Shepard answered, "From all what I've read on him indoctrination could only have bettered his character. He always has been a murderous bastard."

"I know his reputation, but he was a Spectre," Liara argued, "I think he honestly believed everything he did was for the greater good."

"Yes. Those are the worst," Shepard answered venomously - a venom not aimed at her, but the sort of people he was talking about. "People who are so convinced of their righteousness that they have no qualms about sacrificing innocents when it suits them. A conscience can sometimes break through opportunism and greed, but through conviction? Never."

"And now his never will show up again, as it is too buried under indoctrination," Liara continued that line of thought, "He is trapped into his own body. Part of him senses his own identity being slowly swallowed up by Sovereign, but he's powerless to stop it. I wonder how he first fell under Sovereign's control. Did he think he could somehow stop the Reapers from returning? Or was he simply driven by a lust for power and glory?"

"Does it matter?" Shepard answered, "He's the enemy now. But for what it's worth, I don't think there ever was anything noble about Saren or what he did. He got exactly what he deserved."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I should not waste pity on him," Liara conceded, "Not when there are so many others who have suffered because of him. We should instead concentrate on finding him," She stood up again. "Are you ready for the mindmeld?"

"I don't think I ever am," Shepard answered with a humourless smile, "but go ahead."

"Empty your mind," Liara instructed him."Do not think of anything, but don't let your mind wander, either. Hold every thought firmly in its place, untouched by your attention, and focus on the vision. This should help. And now - embrace eternity!"

Yet again the visions raced through Shepard minds. They had lost some of their edge since Virmire. On the planet, he had directly _experienced_ them. Now, though, it was if he saw a more distant replay of them. However, it still was a replay of destruction, melancholia and despair. A record of an entire galaxy burning and dying with no hope.

"Incredible!" Liara exclaimed after the stream of images faded, "I... I have never seen anything so _intense_. I don't think you need to worry, Jonathan. The vision focused my mind entirely on it, and it alone. I need to collect myself for a bit..."

Shepard could understand that. On Virmire he had been disorientated for nearly an entire minute after having received the vision. "Did the vision make any sense to you?" he asked carefully.

"I... you're right. It was complete," Liara stated, "It was a distress call sent out across the Prothean Empire. One of their planets tried to warn the others about the Reapers, but the warning came too late. The Protheans researched something there. Something they thought would give them hope against the Reaper onslaught."

"The Conduit?" Shepard asked.

"I think it might be..." Liara agreed. Then she looked up. "Ilos! I recognize the images now! That planet is Ilos!"

"Ilos?" Shepard inquired.

"An almost legendary Prothean planet," Liara answered, "We only know about it from secondary sources - images or vids found on other Prothean sites. That's what I recognized. Its existence is verified, even its location is known, but there has never been an expedition to it. The Conduit could well be on such a planet."

"Why has there never been an expedition to it?" Shepard asked, "Where is it?"

"Within the Thirty Parsec Zone, very close to the deadly radiation of the galactic core," Liara answered, "And there is no primary Relay leading to it, only a very long chain of secondary Relays, most of them in the Thirty Parsec Zone, too. And to top it, it's in the Terminus Systems besides. Finding the right route to Ilos could well be an effort taking several months, and that in an environment where such an expedition would certainly suffer from pirates, political instability, radiation and logistical problems."

"Still, it's not like we have a choice," Shepard pointed out. "As long as it's at least remotely possible to go to there, we must do so. So, Ilos it is. But if the way to it is really that dangerous and long we need to properly equip ourselves. Our next stop must be the Citadel."

"That seems prudent," Liara agreed.

Shepard began to type on his omni-tool, causing the asari to smile. "Already starting on your report?" she asked.

"Yeah, I need to make this airtight," Shepard explained absent-minded as he walked towards the door.

"Of course, I understand," Liara said, "Saren will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos. We'll never make it down to the surface without reinforcements, so we do need the Council to.. to... ah..."

Shepard quickly turned around. " Liara! What is it?"

The asari sat slumped down in her seat and had her face covered in her hands. "I'm sorry," she said, looking up again. "The joining was... exhausting. It always is for the initiator, but this one was especially hard. The human mind subconsciously opposes the entry. I had to actively submerge myself in your thoughts - and at the same time spend effort not to look at them. You have an especially strong mind, and an especially strong aversion to the mindmeld, so this made it even more difficult, and then the visions I saw..."

"Maybe Dr Chakwas should take a look at you?" Shepard suggested with genuine worry.

"That won't be necessary," Liara claimed, "I just need some rest."

"All right," Shepard conceded. However, at the door, he looked back again and said: "But call her if things do get worse."

"Of course, Jonathan," Liara reassured him.

Shepard nodded and continued typing as he walked through the sickbay. And he still was not even out of armour yet. He just knew his mind and body would make him pay for stressing them so, but it was necessary.

He worked on the report over the next hours. He managed to get into his cabin and change into uniform, and he took some food from the mess, but apart from that he allowed himself no rest. Saren's base was destroyed, countless bits of evidence gathered - now was the moment to deliver a coup de grâce to the turian. If only the Council would support Shepard. The Commander knew the Council, as per their usual modus operandi, would soon contact him, and he really needed to have the report ready until then. _If __nothing __else__, __I__ owe__ it __to __Kaidan __not__ to __fuck __this __up__._

He had been right, though - working without break after such an exhausting mission did take its toll on him. His head began to ache, and his muscles began to cramp. When he finally had the report ready and sent to the Citadel, he only wanted to rest - ideally to sleep for several days, if not weeks.

However, as could be expected, shortly afterwards he got a call from the Citadel. The Council wanted to see him in a holographic audience. Shepard sighed. He could not well complain about it, after all the Council taking him serious was what he had wanted and what he needed. Thus, he slumped towards the conference room at the designated time, and turned on the holographic terminal.

It took some further time, but eventually the holograms of the three Councillors appeared.

As usual, it was the asari Councillor who greeted him: "Commander Shepard. It was a pleasure to read that your mission on Virmire was a success."

"Saren is formidable enough without an army of krogan serving under him," the turian councillor said.

"I agree," Shepard stated, "Saren used the facility for more, though. Have you come to any conclusion about my records concerning indoctrination research and Sovereign?"

"The level of documentation of your mission is recommendable," the salarian Councillor admitted, "Unfortunately, your recording device glitched when you spoke to who you claim was the head researcher on this 'indoctrination', so we could not come to a clear conclusion about it."

That "glitch" had been inserted in editing, of course, a way to keep Shepard having the cure of the genophage a secret. Needless to say, he certainly would not report that little fact to the Council.

"As for Sovereign," the asari Councillor continued, "An artificial intelligence hostile to all organic life. This news is indeed quite alarming, Commander - if it turns out to be true."

"It's all in the records!" Shepard protested. _What __do__ they __mean__, _if_ it __turns __out __to__ be __true__? __Are __they__ blind __and __deaf__?_ "My talk with Sovereign, and even if you think that's faked, Saren outright admitted to everything about the Reapers!

"He's playing you, Shepard," the turian Councillor claimed, "Saren still has contacts on the Citadel. He probably saw your earlier reports. The ones talking about your vision. And Reapers."

"Saren is a very cunning foe," the asari Councillor said, "We would not put it past him to use psychological warfare aimed directly at you as a further defence measure in his base. A very particular VI created especially for you, or making a speech about the Reapers when you encountered him - Saren has used such and other tools for decades now."

"For this reason, even though we concede there is a possibility your conclusions are correct, we think it more likely Saren is using false information to throw you off balance," the salarian Councillor continued, "Our own intelligence never turned up any corroborating information."

"Okay, I see your point," Shepard conceded, "But I'm one of your agents. I am _part_ of your intelligence. Yet to me it seems you simply dismiss _everything_ I say and make up quite elaborate and far fetched alternate theories to 'prove' me being wrong.

"Our decisions affect trillions of lives, Commander Shepard," the salarian Councillor justified himself, "We cannot act on the accusations of a single person, even a Spectre. Not without solid evidence. You have made a start in collecting evidence, but so far it is not enough."

"The Council cannot take any official action here," the asari Councillor explained, "That is why we created the Spectres. You have the authority to act as you see fit."

"If you truly believe Sovereign is the real threat, you must take whatever steps are necessary to stop it, and Saren," the salarian Councillor said.

"Good luck, Commander," the asari Councillor said, "From all of us."

And with that the holograms faded, leaving Shepard behind confused and increasingly angry. _What__ more __do __I __need __to __show __them__? _Garrus had once told him about his fear that maybe the Council was still protecting Saren... but no, this could not be, not after the Council had told him where to find Saren's main base. _They__'__re __simply __blind __as __hell__. __Explaining __this__ all __as __psychological __warfare__ against __me__? __Jeez__, __haven__'__t__ they __ever__ heard __of __Occam__'__s__ Razor__ or__ concepts __like __that__? _

And while their blindness was enraging, what was actually worse was how Shepard was now left hanging in the air, unsure whether he could count on Council support or not. Yet he _needed_ it, and the entire galaxy was at stake. The salarian Councillor had said that Shepard had "made a start" in collecting evidence. The Commander could only hope that he had meant that honestly, and that more evidence could in fact be gathered.

Disappointed by the conversation he left the conference room, and walked towards his cabin again.

As he entered the second deck, he found Tali sitting in the mess. He stopped, and observed her. She just sat there at the table, not even moving in the slightest, simply looking straight ahead. Her shoulders hung low, and her entire posture looked exhausted, tired. Carefully he approached her. It was unclear if she noticed him; either way she still did not move.

He laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke softly: "Hey."

It took a while until Tali answered. "Jon, I..." Her voice trailed off.

A pang of guilt hit Shepard. He should have checked up on Tali earlier. She had emotionally carried him right after the evacuation from Virmire, and then he had not been there for her, too busy with the report and dealing with the Council. One could call it the burdens of command, but Shepard still felt miserable about it now that he realized it.

"Thinking about today?" he asked quietly. "About... Kaidan?"

"It's not that it something new for me," Tali began to explain, "I have more experience with people I know dying than I'd care to. I'll be fine. Really, Jon. It's just, right now... he was with us down on Virmire. And now suddenly, he's gone, completely." Her speech became somewhat rambling. "He knew about us, did you know? Probably from the beginning. He even deduced we had talked before the assault. He really wished the best for us. And now..."

"And you bottled that all up until now?" Shepard asked.

"I had to," Tali answered, "We had the mission to wrap up, and then you needed support - and you were really the one most affected, you had to make the choice between the group at the nuke site and the group at the AA tower. There was no time for any of this."

"I'm sorry," Shepard said, only slightly above a whisper, "I should have come earlier. You provided comfort for me and I none for you. It's... I'm sorry."

"No," Tali replied, "You're the Commander. I understand you have duties. I'd have liked you to be around, but the mission is more important."

"Well, the mission can wait for now," Shepard stated. He took Tali's left hand, and lightly squeezed her right shoulder. "I'm here now. Come," he said softly, and drew the quarian upward.

He led Tali to his cabin, where he sat down exhausted on his bed. Tali wanted to seat herself on his chair, as she usually did, but instead Shepard drew her to his side and laid his arm around her. A moment later she laid her head on his shoulder.

For a long while, neither of them said a word. Shepard was content to just sit there, with Tali at his side, and let the exhaustion fall off him. However, after a while Tali spoke up: "What are we going to do now?"

"We know now where Saren is headed for," Shepard explained, "It was in the vision the beacon transmitted. We will restock supplies at the Citadel, hopefully get some reinforcements, and then make straight for there."

"Good," Tali stated, "The mission must go on." She paused. "And what about... us?"

"Well, what do you want concerning us?" Shepard asked. In the end, it was all about her. She bore the risk if they decided to go further. And moreover Shepard liked to encourage her to think more of herself.

"We said we'd try this once the mission on Virmire is over," Tali answered. "And that is what I still want." She paused, and added in a deeper voice: "Or, to be more precise, I want _you_."

Shepard smiled. _Bold__. __Good__. _"Is that so? Well, I'm right here."

Tali hesitated. "Yes, but... I'd be lying if I told you I have no doubts anymore. I still do. After all, it's not just about me. It's also about you. Yes, I know you have said you want this, too, despite everything, and I'm probably making a fool out of myself here..."

"No," Shepard disagreed, "Nobody would be helped if you didn't speak about these doubts despite having them. So I guess I need to reassure you some times more. Or some dozen times more, if need be."

"It's just - You make me happy, Jon," Tali explained, "But I can't help but think that this happiness comes at a price. A price to be paid by you. You could simply have a much less complicated relationship." She stood up and paced in the room, agitated. "I can't help but think that this is maybe for the best, especially since I'll eventually return to the Fleet anyway. You could find happiness elsewhere, and we'd be spared the pain of separation. I wouldn't want that, but that option seems so logical to me, it just won't leave my thoughts." She came to a halt again. Her posture was somewhat awkward, and she fiddled her fingers as she often did when nervous.

Something in Shepard softened as he saw Tali standing there so unsure and nervous, and his mind was filled with tender thoughts. He really did want to reassure her. He would not just turn away from her, and he wanted her to know that. So he stood up and took her hands into his. "And what about me? Do I get to have a say in your 'logical' plans for me as well?" he asked humorously and raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I could give this up... could give _you_ up without any 'pain of separation' as you call it. Just accept it. At least for now, you're not gonna get rid of me."

"I still feel so foolish needing those reassurances," Tali said, "but - thanks for saying them."

Shepard merely smiled, and Tali continued: "It's been such a crazy day. I hope you don't feel insulted when I say that despite our... new arrangements I'm glad it's finally over."

"No, I feel the same way," Shepard agreed. What had laid heavily on his mind the entire day came pouring out: "And I fear it ended up like it did largely because of me. Because I wanted that genophage cure, no matter that a ground assault of course would lead to casualties." It felt good actually articulating those thoughts to somebody. He felt safe sharing such matters with Tali. Which was one reason why he knew he wanted to be with her, despite all difficulties.

"No," Tali disagreed, "Not because you _wanted _the genophage cure. But because there needs to be one. No one but you would actually help the krogan. And I know you'd also do it for any other species, even us quarians."

"Okay, so maybe they died for some higher cause," Shepard conceded, "But it was a cause most of them didn't even know about, certainly nothing they had signed up for."

"You made a command decision," Tali stated firmly, "And it was the right one. You're always looking to right wrongs, to have the galaxy be at least a little bit more just. Don't beat yourself up about it, that's _good_. And not even you with all your idealism can avoid every last tragedy."

"Wish that I could," Shepard sighed.

"I know," Tali answered softly and paused. After a while she continued: "And for all my oh so wise talk here, I still sat frozen in the mess for probably well over an hour."

"I really should've come earlier...," Shepard began, but stopped when Tali gave him - he could only describe it as 'that look', despite her helmet and visor. She fixated him, with her head slightly tilted and slightly cocked upward. Knowing what it meant, he smiled slightly. "Okay I'll stop." He sighed, and any hint of amusement escaped from him. "It's just... it was a hard day."

"That it was," Tali agreed. "I don't know. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. We both should probably both take a rest a now. Thanks for listening to my ramblings." She turned to go, but Shepard held her at the wrist.

"Ah..." he began unsurely. "You're right. It has been a bad day. So, I, ah, I'd like you to stay here. Spend the night here?"

"Here?" Tali asked surprised. "But that's your cabin, the captain's quarters! I couldn't... I wouldn't want to intrude into your space."

"You're not an intrusion", Shepard answered, smiling. _Never_. "But it's your call."

In response Tali took a small step forward, now standing not a centimetre apart from Shepard, and embraced him, with her head coming to rest at his chest. He looked down on the qurian tenderly, and returned the embrace. In that position he led her the few steps to his bed, and let them both fall down there.

Tali made a muffled sound of amusement, and then snuggled up to Shepard again. Her body moved to match his as closely as possible. Their legs entangled. It was an odd experience for Shepard to feel the unfamiliar backward bent of Tali's lower legs, but also a very pleasant experience. He held her tightly in her arms and looked at her body close to his. When she looked back her face was of course obscured by the visor, but he could still make out her eyes, and they locked with his.

Shepard breathed out and emptied his mind. He was still unsure where to go with this. Holding Tali made the restrictions of any kind of relationship quite obvious. He could not feel her skin or her body warmth, let alone kiss her. And yet - at least for now he was content. Matters between the two had been cleared for good, and they could finally find some peace away from missions and combat and death, or away from the many great and small injustices of the galaxy.

The Commander wondered what went through Tali's head. He did want all the best in the galaxy for her. Life had not been fair to her and her people. Not to him, either, but still - if he could give Tali some happiness, he would do everything in order to do so. With that in mind, he kept her as close to him as he could. It was bad enough that she could not truly feel any touch except pressure through her suit; at least then Shepard wanted what she did feel to be as positive an experience for her as possible.

However, even that was just a strong but nonetheless vague and undirected sentiment in his head. He was too content for complex thoughts. After a while, he felt how Tali's body had completely lost any tension, and he saw that her eyes were closed. Smiling softly, he tenderly stroke her back before peacefully drifting into a sleep a little while later.

000000

Tali subconsciously fought against the awakening. She felt heavy and comfortable and far removed from all the sorrows in the world. She would have liked to remain in this comfortable state of semi-awareness.

She moved a little, and found her head lying on Shepard's chest. Immediately, worry raced through her, and she became fully awake. She hoped Shepard was still okay with her being here, and even though that sounded slightly silly even to herself she seriously hoped her helmet had not bruised the Commander.

_Stupid__ girl__. __Self__-__doubts __again__?_

She sighed and raised her head from Shepard, looking at him. He was still soundly asleep. Softly, her finger stroke idly up his chest. To the galaxy he was the Hero of Elysium and of Eden Prime, the first human Spectre or, if one were to ask an average human right now, probably a damnable traitor, due to that business with Chairman Burns - but there was so much more to him, she knew. He was a man with weaknesses, like everybody else, but she knew he always wanted the best. She knew he wanted the best in particular for her, and she had come to trust him completely.

She realized that if he were a quarian she would trust him enough to have their envirosuits synced. And she knew what this thought entailed. Her hands idly stroke further over Shepard's body. He was handsome in a rugged way, and she wondered what his thoroughly trained body could do besides just holding her. So far, she never had focused any erotic thoughts she had on a single person; that would have been useless. But with Shepard, that was something different.

Unfortunately, that was the issue where their relationship would be complicated to say at least. And yet, Shepard had flat out refused to consider any alternatives. _Probably __for__ the__ same__ reason __I __wouldn__'__t__, __either__, __despite__ the __fact __that __I__'__ll __eventually __have__ to __return__ to __the__ Flotilla_. If Shepard asked her, she would end this. But not under any other circumstances.

The thought that this was a mutual feeling filled her with a simple but strong happiness and gave her hope that any complications could be overcome. Watching the Commander from head to toe with a grin, she sure hoped that they could be overcome. Truth be told, Tali had already looked up on the extranet about quarians and interspecies relations, but never systematically, only as a way of idly daydreaming about what could be. Now, she would have to put more effort into it, but that was not a problem: She had plenty of motivation.

Shepard's eyes opened.

"Hm..." he grunted sleepily.

Despite her foolish insecurities, Tali instinctively smiled. It was a pity he could not see it. She held her upper body upright and looked him. "Hello," she whispered.

Shepard grinned, but still did not move. "Now that's a nice way to wake up," he murmured in response.

Tali was glad, but did not know quite what to say. Eventually she began: "I..."

"You talk too much," Shepard mock-protested sleepily and in a quick move pulled her down onto him. "Better," he commented.

_This is better indeed_. Neither side spoke for a while. However, after a while, Tali broke the content silence: "You know we have to get up eventually, don't you?" Not that she really wanted to, but she knew that if she lay in bed the entire day she would end up with an unbearably bad conscience.

"You took part in the mission yesterday," Shepard pointed out. "You have a right to at least one day rest. Me, too."

"I know," Tali answered, "But it just wouldn't feel right. Besides, a bit of normality might be a good idea."

"Ah, I understand," Shepard replied. "Yes, maybe. But I think someday you'll have to learn to just relax and not work on anything."

"Then you'll have to teach me," Tali said, "And we'll have to stage many more attempts like this one."

Shepard grinned. "That could be arranged."

"And maybe you even could teach me more then," Tali suggested light-heartedly.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" Shepard asked.

Tali pushed her upper body up from Shepard's. Again, their eyes locked as much as Tali's visor allowed for. Looking right at his, Tali wanted nothing more than to get rid of her helmet and kiss him. At the least. After a while, she sighed frustrated.

"Nothing this suit would allow," she said depressed, almost growled. She would need to start looking how to get rid of it at least for a while as soon as possible.

Shepard moved under her and looked somewhat puzzled. "So does that mean..."

Tali did not know what he was about to ask, but she cut him off nonetheless: "I do want more, Jon. I just need to find out... how."

"Good," Shepard answered, "I want that, too." And humorously: "If the suit is a problem I guess we need to get you out of it." Heat shot into Tali's face. However, while maybe she would not have expressed it that directly, in the end that was what she wanted, too. "Which means I'll need to wait a while, but I think that should be possible."

"Patience is a virtue," Tali mocked.

"I'm sure it'll be worth it," Shepard stated, almost whispered. "So wait I will."

Tali slumped back onto Shepard, eliciting a suppressed "Oomph" from him. "I hate having to have that virtue," she stated.

…...

It had taken some time, but eventually, slowly, Tali had raised from Shepard's bed, and had left his cabin. Thinking about it still caused her to smile, but nonetheless there had been an odd transformation as soon as she had walked through the door. Spending the night in Shepard's cabin had made everything seem possible for the future, but as soon as she had left, reality had her in its clutches again, and again she began to think of Kaidan and what had happened the day before on Virmire.

Maybe a regular work shift in Engineering would help her getting used to normal reality again.

She walked out of the elevator leading to the cargo bay. The surviving salarians of the STG regiment had set up a sort of camp in one corner of it. She disregarded them, wanting to go to Engineering quickly. However, she had not even taken three steps when she basically stumbled over Ashley. Or the Gunnery Chief over her, nearly knocking her down in the process. It seems both had been very much absorbed in their thoughts.

"Ah sorry Tali, didn't see you there," Ashley apologized.

"It's okay I should have paid more attention, too," Tali answered, "What are you doing here, shouldn't you still rest?"

"Says the quarian lady who is surely on her way to her post in Engineering right now?" Ashley commented.

"It seems you caught me," Tali admitted humorously. "But I'd feel bad if I were doing nothing at all."

"Same here," Ashley agreed, "After what happened yesterday - I feel I must do everything to contribute to the mission." And quieter: "Especially after Kaidan's death. I have to be worth of it."

Tali knew what the human meant, but was surprised she would tell her. It was almost like on the Flotilla, where almost every topic could be discussed among shipmates. Hence, she answered in the same way: "How are you coping with the situation?" And realizing that she was not actually on the Flotilla, but talking to a human who might have very different social norms she added hastily: "I mean... if I may ask."

"It's all right," Ashley stated, "But I can't say I'm much better. We've lost two thirds of our ground detachment, four marines, Kaidan among them, and it's all my fault."

"Jon blames himself, too," Tali told her, "I don't think either of you is correct. It's just four more deaths at the hands of the geth. And the geth are just like that: Killers." That was basically a law of nature to her.

"Yeah, I've seen that on Eden Prime," Ashley agreed, "And already there I failed my team! I thought I could become better but instead we let the geth pin us down at the AA towers like idiots, so the skipper had to come in and save us. That is what cost Kaidan his life."

"And geth numerical superiority had nothing to do with it?" Tali asked. Maybe the sarcasm was uncalled for, but it just seemed so obvious to Tali that the geth were in fact to blame. Besides, it was not like Ashley was the only one mourning Kaidan's death.

"Hah. I don't think Jonathan would have told it so bluntly to me," Ashley said, "Yes the geth had more troops. But I don't want to use that as an excuse. After Eden Prime and Virmire I'm not even sure if I should be entrusted with a team under my command anymore."

"And yet, from what I've heard, you took over command over the salarians on the fly when Kirrahe fell, and managed to lead most of them to safety," Tali disagreed, "And Garrus, too. I don't think even Jon could have done much better in the situation."

"He found a way to blow the base up and yet still find... ah. You know," Ashley replied, "He probably would have found a way out of there, too."

Tali continued as if Ashley had said nothing at all: "_And __besides_, I don't think having so many self-doubts will help the mission."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Ashley admitted, "It's refreshing to hear such a honest dose of 'shape the hell up, soldier'."

"I didn't say..." Tali began to protest.

"But you meant it," Ashley interrupted her. "And it's true. We're soldiers. All of us. Everyone of us is expendable. You, me, Kaidan, Jon. However... It's funny. I don't fear dying for the Alliance. But when I think of somebody dying for me - "

Now Tali interrupted the human: "Kaidan didn't." _Maybe__ '__blunt__' __really __is __the__ best __approach __here__. _

"What?" Ashley asked surprised.

"Kaidan died for the mission," Tali explained her stance, "Any of us could have. Jon tried to rescue as many people as possible. He didn't so much specifically rescue you, but rather the larger group consisting of you, Private Ramirez, Garrus and the surviving salarians."

"I know that!" Ashley protested, "But the consequence is still the same. I get to live while Kaidan didn't."

"The universe isn't a fair place," Tali stated. Which still was a pillar of her world view, even if it had softened up during her time with Shepard. He maybe would not have formulated things as she did, but she thought better this way. "We can try to make it better, but... it doesn't always work. Jon always tries, but even he has suffered deaths under his command before."

"The Blitz, right?" Ashley inquired, "Do you know how he has dealt with it?"

"I think he just went on," Tali explained, "He had a job to do and he had people to defend, and you know how he can be in such a situation." _The__ time __after __the__ Blitz __was __not__ so__ good__ for __him__, __though_. Shepard had told her how he had nearly fallen into an emotional pit afterward, and had still been crawling out of it when he had first met Sarah Schäfer. However, telling Ashley that would just not do. "He dealt with it afterwards. He put the mission first, and then mourned the losses. It must have worked for him, somehow."

"Yeah. We still got a job to do," Ashley agreed, "We'll mourn Kaidan by making his sacrifice worth it. If we can."

"Do you doubt we'll catch Saren?" Tali asked. She was a bit surprised. So far, few people on the ship had appeared as decisive and determined to her as the Gunnery Chief.

"No. That turian bastard will be going down," Ashley stated, "But he's not the entire story anymore. Now we also have fleets of giant AI dreadnoughts who have exterminated all life dozens of times over. The odds are definitely stacked against us."

"I don't think odds matter with all life in the galaxy at stake," Tali commented, "We're going to fight them."

"You will," Ashley disagreed, "You'll be a real asset to every ship you'll serve on as engineer. However, I'm infantry. Against the Reapers, my rifle may as well fire spitballs. I won't have a place in this war. That's what pisses me off: Not being able to shoot back."

"If what Sovereign has said is true, then even our ship cannons may as well fire spitballs," Tali said, "That won't be the solution anyway."

"I fail to see how that thought is supposed to cheer me up," Ashley commented darkly.

"What we need is people to disrupt the Reapers' plans," Tali explained, "Like Saren's activities. And that's what we're currently doing. We'll stop him."

"Damn straight we will," Ashley agreed, "So I better get back to work." She hesitated slightly and added quietly: "Ah, and hey, Tali. Thanks for listening to my crap."

"That's what shipmates are for," Tali said, and turned to go down to Engineering.

On her station she began to read up about what damages the mission had caused to the _Normandy_. Surprisingly, most of it was superficial. The ship had come into knife fight distances with the geth, and that had been what had prevented it from intervening again in the fight on the ground until it was too late and it was needed for evacuation - but it had been a fight neither side had been interested in. The geth ships simply had wanted to push through to the planet and the _Normandy_ had wanted to get away as quickly as possible. Thus it had been a short, non-intensive battle. There was some damage to the ship armour due to the geth equivalent of GARDIAN lasers, but nowhere did they go all the way through the armour. All in all the space worthiness of the _Normandy _was not even in doubt at all, and the ship could even still be safely deployed in battle.

She then looked up the data on the drive core in particular. The hasty flight from Virmire had caused it to build up some energy imbalances. Nothing major, but certainly something to work on. Which of course Engineering already had begun. She herself did not get to join in that: As soon as Adams saw her, he tasked her with helping the bridge with some problems with their electronics. Tali suspected that the Chief Engineer's real reason was to assure that she would do light work. Ideally he would have liked to see her rest, but he knew he could not convince her to, so he did the next best thing. Nonetheless, she of course followed his orders.

When she arrived on the bridge, Joker pointed towards the console that was acting up. He seemed very unenthusiastic and did not even try one of his usual bad jokes.

After she had worked on the console for a while he remarked sadly: "It just won't be the same without Kaidan."

Tali stopped her work in mid-movement. "No", she agreed, "it won't."

"You were there when... when it happened," Joker said, "Can't have been easy"

Tali turned around to face Joker. "We were too busy with fighting to think of anything down there" she answered, "I don't think it's harder on us than it is on you."

"Maybe," Joker conceded, "But damn, due to Shepard we know what Kaidan's life was like, and then he ends up as nuclear dust... ah, crap. Sorry, I didn't mean - it's just so damn frustrating."

"Saren is still out there," Tali pointed out, "We'll need you if we're going to make him pay. Are you... holding up?"

"Don't worry, Tali," Joker reassured here, "I want to be there when Shepard makes that son of a bitch pay. I won't let the ship down. I'll be okay. I just need some time." He paused. "It must've been hard on Shepard, though. Choosing between Williams and Alenko must have... ah... I don't know if I could have done it."

"He's hit rather hard, but he deals with it by focusing on the mission," Tali said. "He had to make a choice. A choice that would have killed people either way. I just hope I won't ever have to do such a choice, or he again."

"No, I'm not blaming him," Joker protested, "I just imagine it can't be easy for him. So, hey, keep an eye out on him, will you?"

"I will," Tali agreed. _I __most __certainly __will__. _

"I think it's good the Commander has..." Joker began, "...has some... ah, crap, forget I said anything."

Her and Shepard's relation must have been the worst kept secret aboard the ship. Not that it was much of even a theoretical secret anymore now that she had disappeared for a night shift and reappeared again afterwards. Surely everybody could draw the conclusions. "No snide remarks from you?" she commented humorously, _Might __as __well __go __in__ the __offensive_"That's something new."

"No," Joker protested, "I think it's good. You and the Commander deserve some comfort and, ah... I better stop now. I'm not good at saying this kinda stuff."

"Nonetheless, thanks," Tali said.

There was some awkward silence before Tali returned to her work. However, shortly afterwards she stopped again when a voice message came in, which was played aloud on the bridge. It was Ambassador Udina.

"Good," the Ambassador said. Tali turned around and looked at Joker, who grinned at her. He must have intentionally put the call onto the bridge's loudspeakers. _Probably__ to __make__ what __Udina __says __public__. _"Though I'm surprised the ship still receives calls from the Alliance at all."

"It's a burden we put up with," Joker quipped.

"Careful, Flight Lieutenant Moreau. Shepard may put up with you, and he may afford you some protection, but you're still Alliance Navy," Udina threatened, "Even if it doesn't show often."

"Right, _sir__,_" Joker confirmed, "What can we do for you?"

"It seems the Council is finally active with more than just harassing us," Udina explained bitterly, "They seem to take Saren serious now. So they're assembling a joint-species fleet to deal with him and the geth."

"Reinforcements?" Joker asked, unbelieving.

Disregarding the remark Udina went on: "You're to report at the Citadel as part of these efforts and for a debriefing. And I hope Shepard can follow at least this simple order." And with that the call ended.

"The Commander gotta hear that!" Joker exclaimed enthusiastically.

A while later Shepard's voice came through the loudspeakers: "We'll be there. I want the _Normandy_ at the head of that fleet!"

"Yes, sir!" Joker confirmed, "Next stop: The Citadel." He grinned.

"Aren't we going there anyway?" Tali asked humorously.

"Hey now," Joker protested, "don't ruin the mood."

"It would certainly be nice to have some more ships than just us shooting at the geth," Tali commented.

"Yeah," Joker agreed. "Next stop after the Citadel: Kicking Saren's ass!"


	25. Ch25: Burning Bridges

It was just as Tali had thought: Even just two days of regular work had helped her win back some sense of normality. The _Normandy_ would soon arrive again at the Citadel from its mission on Virmire, and in the meantime Tali had worked a great deal to keep the ship maintained and in a good state. It was good to have something orderly and trivial in the middle of all the chaos of recent time.

Not that all had been bad. There had been enough bad, it was true: There was the Virmire mission, and the death of two thirds of the marine detachment, including Kaidan. There was both Shepard and Ashley blaming themselves for the fact, with the Gunnery Chief really tearing herself apart over that, despite Shepard's and Tali's advise to her. That all was bad.

However, on the other hand, Tali had spent the two previous 'night' watches in Shepard's cabin again, together with him. She still was part of the hotbunking schedule, had most of her belongings in the crew locker and so officially nothing had changed, but de facto one could say she had moved into his cabin. Which probably violated an Alliance Navy regulation or two, even though she did not fall under the ban on fraternization. However, Shepard was of course notoriously uncaring about regulations and even she found it very easy not to be too strict with rules in this issue.

That was a rather large and tumultuous change, too, yet she could never call it in any way or form "bad". Still, it was good to have something, like her work, that was not prone to sudden changes, good _or_ bad, coming out of nowhere.

She had just finished the scheduled reactor core analytics, and hence had for the moment nothing more to do in the reactor room. Thus, she gathered some tools and walked upwards to the cargo bay. Garrus had requested her aid. He wanted to run checks on his electronic gear - his omni-tool, his visor, his guns. Tali suspected that he just wanted to keep himself occupied. There was not much data hunting to do at the moment, and there was no Mako to keep maintained anymore, either.

On Virmire, Shepard had contributed the vehicle to the salarians, for the frontal assault on Saren's base that had served as distraction for the _Normandy_'s squad's own infiltration of the facility. That assault had been brutal, with the salarians suffering way higher casualty rates than the _Normandy_ crew, and the Mako had been destroyed in the process. While it would truly be unfair to say Garrus mourned it like one of the casualties, he was somewhat hit by that loss.

Tali found him sitting on a rather large crate. He did not seem be occupied with any work at the moment.

"Hey Garrus," she greeted him, "I brought you the tools you wanted."

"Ah, thanks, Tali", he replied, "Just leave them here, I'll use them... later."

"Aren't you supposed to be working _now_?" Tali asked. It was mean mostly as teasing, but she did wonder what was on his mind.

"Ah, I suppose," Garrus conceded, "I'm just taking a break. You should, too. In fact, aren't you doing overtime? Again?"

"Yes," she admitted. In fact, maybe she had overdone it a bit in her quest for normalcy the past two days. And yet, after Virmire, she just felt compelled to do her best. Even more so than usual. "If going to Ilos is as difficult as Liara says it is, we need the ship to be in top condition."

"Its engineers, too." Garrus pointed out. "What's Jonathan saying about that? He can't be too happy if every time you come to his cabin you're too exhausted to do anything else. I'm sure he'd also want to do other things with you."

_Wait __what__? _Tali crossed her arms and slightly tilted her head. While she was reasonably sure Garrus had not actually _meant _it that way, it still had been a stupid thing to say.

And the turian realized that. "Ah... this didn't come out right at all," he admitted,"I didn't mean to - look, I'll just, what's the human expression, put a heat sink into my mouth?"

"Foot," Tali corrected.

"Foot? Hm, I didn't know humans were that... flexible," Garrus mused.

"Maybe you should try that out one of those days," Tali suggested with barely concealed amusement.

"I... oh," Garrus started before interrupting himself. "Ah, I don't think so. No offence, but these bumpy things on the front human females, asari and well, you, have, it's not really all that attractive by turian standards."

"Breasts," Tali pointed out. "They're called breasts."

"I know that," Garrus claimed, "At least Jon is lucky then you have them like human females."

That left Tali baffled once again. "I... don't know if I should tell you again to put your foot into your mouth, or be happy that you at least aren't as stiff anymore as when we both came aboard," she stated.

"Ah, let's agree on the latter?" Garrus suggested. "I don't think two feet would fit inside my mandibles anyway. "

"No, hold on," Tali said, "I'm trying to imagine that."

"Very funny, Tali," Garrus commented wryly. "We're very shortly at the Citadel, you know that? I think you should call it a day, I don't think you'll still get much work done."

"All right," Tali conceded, "I'm done with my duties in Engineering anyway. Might as well make myself more comfortable."

"Sit down then, if you want," Garrus said, pointing to the plenty of crate surface still free.

"Sure, why not," Tali replied. She had not spoken to the turian in some time, and was curious what was on his mind. After all, they were shipmates.

While she lifted herself onto the crate's edge and sat down, Garrus continued: "You're right. I didn't fit quite in when I first came aboard. But I've learned a lot from Jonathan. I'm really grateful to him. For taking me along, letting me be part of his team."

"I know what you mean," Tali stated. "Well, obviously I do. But really, he just had no choice but to take us along. Wrex' collection of aliens wouldn't be complete without us."

"Hm, yeah, that's true," Garrus agreed humorously. "It gave me a chance to watch Jonathan. It's odd. We disagreed a lot at first, but we do have very similar attitudes. I think that helped me to come clean with some things."

"Such as?" Tali asked.

"Both he and I have an intense dislike for criminals and evildoers getting away," Garrus explained, "However, for me preventing that had begun to become a purpose in itself. It shouldn't be, though. C-Sec, my detective work, hunting down criminals - it should be all about protecting the population. So sacrificing innocents for the sake of hunting criminals is just wrong. If the people I'm sworn to protect don't trust me, then I don't deserve to protect them."

"Jon definitely would agree with that," Tali said.

"C-Sec needs all those rules which I've always hated, and still do, to protect innocents," Garrus continued, "At the same time, if those rules protect _hurting_ innocents they need to be broken, as Jonathan does. So it's not about those regulations, as I've always thought. They're just a tool. It's about protecting the people."

"But you still don't like them?" Tali prompted, "The rules I mean?"

"No," Garrus answered, "I see now why C-Sec needs to be the way it is, but I don't think I'll fit in there. Making me conform to them is like trying to fit a square inside a circle. It just doesn't work. I don't think I'll return to there."

"What will you do instead?" Tali inquired.

"I don't know," Garrus admitted. "I'm thinking about reapplying for Spectre training. That would probably kill my father, but so far his advise in life for me has rarely turned out for the better. Or I could just stay with Jon. We will defeat Saren, but even then his mission won't be over yet. I know he'll just go on to find a way to stop the Reapers, and I think I can help him in that. If he let me stay aboard."

"I see no reason why he shouldn't," Tali said truthfully. "But don't tell him how you've come around to his line of thought. His ego is already sufficiently big as is."

"I'll keep that in mind," Garrus stated amused. "You're the expert in this." And after a pause: "And speaking of the spirit - or Spectre, in this case."

Tali turned around, and indeed Shepard came just walking out of the elevator. He wore his dress uniform, and looked very elegant in it. Both she and Garrus waved him over. As he came nearer Tali saw that not only he wore his dress uniform, but all orders and merits he had won, too, including the Star of Terra.

"Ah, who do you want to impress, Jon?" she hence greeted him.

"The Council," he admitted matter-of-factly, "Bad enough that I made the Alliance my enemy, maybe I should try to remain in good standing with them."

"A Commander Shepard who is mindful of authorities?" Garrus asked in jest, "What's the galaxy coming to?"

"Must be Tali's bad influence," Shepard joked, "You know, practical thinking and all that." Tali stroke a defiant pose in response, but that was just playing along with the joke. "Speaking of which, good that I found you here, Tali. I was going to look down at Engineering for you; spares me the walk. We're about to dock at the Citadel. I assume you two wouldn't want to hang around here while we're at the centre of the galaxy."

"You forget that I've seen a fair bit of it in my time," Garrus replied.

"Now that's just being grumpy," Shepard commented with a laugh, "What about you, Tali? I need to deliver my report to the Council, face-to-face, but I assume the _Normandy_ will stay docked here some days. We need to stock up on quite many supplies. Enough time for us to visit some of the nicer places."

"Ah, that sounds good," Tali said. Quarian culture did not have much of a concept of "dating", if only because there were not exactly many places on an overcrowded and overaged ship one could go to for a date. However, she appreciated that she would spend some nice time with Shepard, and that he wanted to spend time with her, so it amounted to much the same. "It appears you're already prepared to go out."

"Yeah, the meeting with the Council will not be all too long after docking, so I already dressed for the event," Shepard explained. He grinned. "And of course, you're always already dressed for any event."

Tali harrumphed. "We quarians are practical that way."

Thus, not even half an hour later, Shepard and Tali were walking through the _Normandy_'s docking unit to enter Dock 422, the dock the human embassy had reserved exclusively for them. _The__ Citadel__. __Again__. _Though something would be different this time. She shot a quick glance to Shepard and grinned.

It made Tali wonder. The crew of the _Normandy_ already knew about the relationship between her and the Commander. However, they were indeed the crew - shipmates. Even if bonds were not as strong as on a quarian ship, one could still trust them with such knowledge. Now, however, was the first time the two would appear in public since their decision to try a relationship.

_Showing __that__ would__ probably __mean__ encountering __more__ than__ just__ the __usual__ prejudices __I__'__d__ face __anyway__, _Tali thought grumpily. _And__ now__ they__'ll __target__ him__, __too__. __Better __for__ now __to keep __this __hidden__, __so __that__..._

Her thoughts stopped when she felt Shepard taking her hand. Apparently, he had come to different conclusions. She turned her head around and found him grinning.

"What?" he asked provocatively.

_What __indeed__? _Maybe she was too fretful. He was Commander Shepard, first Human Spectre, and she was Tali'Zorah nar Rayyah, and had defeated geth, technozombies and planet spanning plant minds. _Let__ people __talk__. __Then __again__... _

Noticing her hesitation, Shepard said softly: "Or we could treat it like a secret affair. That can be quite exciting. In any case it's up to you; don't think there's pressure."

"It's not about me," Tali answered securely. She knew now what the problem was. "I can live with people looking and talking. And so can you, I think. But what about your mission? _Any_ kind of rumours and scandals could endanger it. And realistically, this will be seen as scandalous." She shook her head. "We always have to think about the mission first."

"Do we?" Shepard pressed on.

_His __damn__ idealism__. _That was one of the reasons she loved him - but sometimes he could be quite childlike about it. "Yes," she stated decisively.

"Pity," Shepard commented, grinned again, and let go of her hand. With some self-deprecating amusement Tali realized that despite all her protests she had not let go before.

They had reached the end of the dock when Shepard exclaimed: "Well, let's see what the Citadel..."

He was interrupted mid-sentence by a female voice: "Commander Shepard! Miss Zorah!"

Tali spun around. An assassin most likely would not have announced her presence like that, but after the incident at the Flux the quarian was always somewhat paranoid. However, it was no assassin. Instead Tali saw Anita Goyle hurrying towards her and Shepard.

"Ah, Miss Goyle," Shepard greeted the the ex-ambassador to the Citadel when she had closed up to them, "A surprise to see you here."

"When I heard the _Normandy_ was coming to the Citadel I rushed to her designated dock as quickly as possible," Goyle answered, "It seems I made it just so in time to catch you."

"Indeed. What are you doing on the Citadel?" Shepard asked.

"Oh, both the ExoGeni case and the BAaT case are keeping me quite busy," Goyle explained, "So you could say I'm here on Shepard affairs."

Shepard chuckled in response. "Good to see somebody cares about them." He seemed to ponder that. "What with me chasing through the galaxy I haven't had much opportunity to catch up on those matters. Maybe you could get me updated."

"Oh certainly, if you want," Goyle agreed, "There's a nice little asari café not too far away from here. I think that would be appropriate."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that formulation, but did not comment on it. Instead he said: "Hm, I have some time until my audience with the Council. What do you say, Tali?"

"I think you just want to hear further success stories about you," Tali teased. "However, since you have to face the Council afterwards, you might as well begin your stay on the Citadel with something positive."

She was somewhat disappointed that Goyle had interrupted her time with Shepard, but only slightly - the two would still have enough time on the Citadel later on, and besides Tali was quite curious what the ex-ambassador had to say, too. She had been involved in these cases, too, after all, and they were very important to the Commander.

"Ah, you caught me," Shepard said amused, "Well, then let's go."

The café was indeed only some steps away from the docks, and yet obviously upper-class. Asari waitresses moved swiftly and elegantly between the tables standing outside, and the décor was very high quality, yet also very guarded and low-key. Tali noticed that the waitresses displayed an immense sense of professionalism - yet each of them would look now and then in their direction as they approached. Or, as she realized a moment later, at Shepard. _They__ recognize __him__. _

The three sat down at one table. After only a very short a while, Shepard and Goyle could each order a drink, non-alcoholic in both cases. As always, Tali was rather excluded from such business, but getting a drink was not why she had come to here anyway. She was curious about what Goyle had to say, and she wanted to spend time with Shepard. A drink would merely have been a bonus.

Goyle did not comment on Tali's presence. The quarian began to wonder how much she might maybe suspect, but then mentally scolded herself for being so irrationally paranoid.

After the ordered items arrived, Shepard began: "I admit it's nice here, but what did you mean with appropriate?"

"In case you haven't noticed yet, Commander, you're rather popular with the asari right now," Goyle pointed out.

"The BAaT case?" Shepard concluded after a short consideration. It was a logical conclusion: What else could have made Shepard so obviously well known to the asari here?

"Indeed," Goyle confirmed, "However, let me best start at the beginning. The ExoGeni case."

"I'm all ears," Shepard prompted.

"Where to begin exactly? You really have started an avalanche," Goyle explained, "With the trial in all news, others have come forth with more abuses committed by ExoGeni. Nothing as bad as what happened on Feros, but it's substantial. That's a well known effect, of course: Somebody starts to raise his voice, and then everybody who had held back so far follows. And thus, hardly a week passes by without a new ExoGeni scandal being uncovered."

"And the media report those cases?" Shepard inquired.

"Indeed. Observant of you to notice," Goyle answered, "The other megacorps have more or less given up on ExoGeni as a lost case. There just is no suppressing the truth in this matter anymore, so might as well report it in length to gain credibility for the own media facilities. It certainly doesn't help that ExoGeni is leaving every planet where it faces difficulties, abandoning them to the wild like they have done with the Feros colony as well. I don't know why they continue reacting that was; that's a lot of bad press for them, too. And then the assassination of Emily Wong - nothing has been proven yet, but it's clear to everybody ExoGeni was behind it."

Shepard's face darkened, as did his voice. "They were. And they'll pay for it." He said it so icily that Tali was quite glad not be part of ExoGeni.

However, Goyle seemed to be less affected by that. Instead she confidently replied: "Oh they will, no doubt. The court case is dragging on and on, but no matter how it turns out, ExoGeni surely cannot be salvaged anymore. If not the trial, then the bad press will ruin it. I know, due to my past career, that ExoGeni is not substantially worse than how other megacorps operate, too, but since everything is coming into the open now they're quickly turning into an archetype of organized evildoers in public perception. I see no way how this will end without ExoGeni being broken up."

"Good. Good," Shepard commented.

"It will take time, though," Goyle cautioned. "That's the problem. ExoGeni can't win anymore, but they can make it all a very drawn out and expensive affair. Fortunately, donations continue to pour in, and I have nearly finished the paperwork to start a foundation for all this, as we've talked about."

"Good. Now, what about the BAaT case?" Shepard asked.

"Ah, you really outdid yourself there," Goyle congratulated the Commander, "You started an avalanche in the ExoGeni case, but with this case the most appropriate metaphor would probably be you stirred up a nest of hornets. Or hundreds of them."

"So what's happening? On Earth, elsewhere?" Shepard prompted.

Goyle hesitated. She sighed, and answered: "I'm sorry to say, but what probably amounts to a majority of humans regard you as a traitor. There is great outrage on Earth, but most is about you, not what you have actually uncovered."

"As I've feared," Shepard answered gravely, "People care more about their precious reputation then what actually has happened."

"It's not all bad," Goyle said, "Support for your cause is growing, after people discovered some hints to links between Alliance and Conatix concerning deliberate eezo contaminations in your files. It's admittedly rather vague stuff, hinting at the involvement of some sort of secret society as a third party, but it has definitely gotten people's attention, at least."

"Deliberate contaminations?" Shepard asked unbelieving. That he had not discovered in the files. "Damn. Just as Kaidan suspected. This gets ever worse."

"It does," Goyle agreed. "And don't think there's no support for your cause at all. There is, and is considerable. Especially the current European government has been very insistent in its criticism of the Alliance. Mostly due to the pressure of the junior coalition partner in the government, but still, it's something. The EU has demanded full disclosure from the Alliance about every single European citizen who has been forced into the BAaT program, and has vaguely threatened unspecified financial sanctions should the Alliance not comply."

"Well, finally a government who takes its mandate of protecting and caring for its citizens seriously," Shepard commented.

"Latin America, too, is mostly in support of you," Goyle continued, "The other national governments... not so much. China and Nusantara strongly disapprove, and North America, the CIS, the Arab League and India outright condemn you. However, there is much spontaneous social activism, often at street level, in support of you and the BAaT victims and against the Alliance. Things are really tumultuous back home at the moment, Commander."

"Hm. But it appears not tumultuous enough to force the Alliance's hand," Shepard concluded.

"No," Goyle confirmed, "All that does not change the fact that most people are outraged about you, that you would publish classified Alliance secrets, and not the Alliance."

"Yes," Shepard answered darkly. "More outraged about revealing the mass crimes, rather than the crimes themselves. Fucking human nature. Why people like Udina or Terra Firma claim we humans are oh so special I don't know. It seems to me rather stuff like _this_ is our true nature. People don't care if other people are hurt, they only care about that they can feel good about themselves. Utter emotional egoism."

Shepard's voice had remained oddly even and calm during his rant, despite the importance of the topic for him. _But __then__, __he __has__ foreseen __this__. __He__'__s__ only__ stating __facts__ as __he__'s seeing__ them__. _Yet, Tali could not agree with it. "Not all humans are like that," she pointed out softly.

"We're individuals of course," Shepard conceded, "But if there's something specifically human it's that."

Again it was said matter-of-factly, without rancor, but yet Tali was still shocked that Shepard would think so. Maybe Goyle was, too, but she remained politely silent. Tali however asked: "Do you really think so?"

"Look at our institutions," Shepard argued, "Alliance, Cerberus, ExoGeni..."

"But the Alliance is your government..." Tali pointed out. But even she herself could see how weak that counter was.

"I've read the files Burns gave me access to," Shepard answered. Now finally his emotions seemed to break through his so far calm exterior. He spoke fiercer - argumentative, but at the same time pleading. "I saw the vids. I talked with the victims. I can tell you, Tali, I don't give a single damn about the Alliance anymore. If they were to fall right now, I wouldn't care at all."

An uncomfortable silence followed that announcement. None of the three dared speak up, causing the moment to become quite awkward.

Finally, it was Tali who broke the silence. "I understand," she said simply. And she did. After all what Shepard had experienced it became understandable to her that he would think so. However, that did not mean she liked it. Not at all.

"You still wear the uniform," Goyle pointed out carefully.

"For now," Shepard qualified, "I need the Alliance as my supplier. But they can't expect any loyalty from me." He seemed to have caught himself again, speaking again as if he were discussing a far away philosophical issue. However, Tali was sure that that the Commander was not nearly half as calm on the inside.

"I know the Alliance isn't perfect by far," Goyle argued, "But without it we'd be at the tender mercy of the Council."

"Can't be any worse," Shepard stated. "I mean, I'm under no illusions where the Council's priorities lie - with their own races. Nonetheless, they have ruled the galaxy for millennia, and yet races like the hanar and elcor are still independent and determining their own fate."

"True. Unless races stumble over something," Tali pointed out, "Then the Council kicks them down. Look at what happened to us and the krogan."

"But if the Alliance is supposed to be the protection... the vaccine against that, than the vaccine is worse than the disease," Shepard answered. "But enough of that. We never really expected pressure from within.. That there is some at least is already a victory. What we counted on was pressure from without. Is there any?"

Goyle nodded. She had remained detached during the whole discussion, and could hence continue to giving a calm presentation of facts, aided by her years of experience as a diplomat. "Oh, yes. That indeed is where the important developments take part. Your leaked data had a great impact on asari society. That's why I said it's appropriate to come here. For the asari, you're the hero of the hour."

"Well, I'm glad, but - well, how's that?" Shepard asked.

"Cynics might say asari, at least the general population if not necessary their leaders, have bleeding hearts anyway," Goyle explained, "But it's more. What, besides their ability to mindmeld with everybody, is what's so special about asari? Their natural biotic talents of course. No other race has that, it's a very specific asari thing. Thus, they do have a sort of tendency to empathize with biotics of other races. Oh, and a story of a rebellious individual standing up for what's right against all odds - they love such stories on Thessia."

"So what happened?" Shepard inquired.

"The report about the data you leaked created some outrage in asari space," Goyle went on, "I mean, we shouldn't overstate it. It's simply the scandal of the week for the asari, probably nothing more. But it _is_ that, at least. That's another reason why it had such impact in asary society, probably: It's a very fast-moving society, with fast changing trends and headlines. The whole case probably won't even be mentioned anymore in asari media in a month, but as it is there is a broad consensus in asari society that what happened on Gagarin Station was a massive crime."

"Go on," Shepard prompted.

"Asari society is a very direct democracy," Goyle continued, "Matriarchs greatly influence everybody's opinions, but nonetheless principally the broad population is who determines asari politics. And thus, pressured by the broad population, the asari Councillor had to raise the issue at the Council. Now, the turians - they're quite the opposite. Their common population doesn't care at all what happened at Gagarin Station. In fact, they don't even get what the fuss is about - it were just standard turian training practices. Done by turians, too, so surely they knew what they were doing. However, with the turians, in stark contrast to the asari, the common population doesn't matter at all. And their political leaders see this as a prime opportunity to diplomatically harass the Alliance, thus on the Council the turians agree with the asari."

"I don't exactly like the Hierarchy's system, but if it indirectly serves to help justice now, I'll have no problems with that," Shepard commented.

"So, the asari raised the issue due to genuine, if probably short-lived anger with the situation, the turians joined out of pure political opportunism, and the salarians - of all Council races, the Alliance has the closest ties to them, and the salarians really don't care at all, neither people nor leader, but they won't vote against an obvious majority," Goyle concluded, "Not that it matters, but they will help maintain an unified front of the Council to the outside."

"Sounds like the Alliance is in for some troubling times," Shepard said. There was a certain undertone to it that made it plain he enjoyed that prospect.

"It is," Goyle confirmed, "Ambassador Udina has sought to turn the current situation - the geth attacks on human colonies, a turian rogue Spectre and all that - to the Alliance's advantage, but your leak has given the Council a prime pretext to simply ignore him. He's diplomatically isolated currently. He thought he could gain power, have the Council handle the situation 'with his help', but instead now the Council is not communicating with him more than is necessary. He's not even getting face to face audiences."

Shepard laughed. Now it was quite obvious that he was enjoying that fact. "Nice," he commented. "Well, I do get audiences, so I'm sorry but you two will have to excuse me. The Council is waiting for me." He nodded to them in departing, and then left.

000000

Shepard stood at a railing at the Presidium Lake and looked out onto it, as he mulled over the report Goyle had given him. It had been nothing less than what he had expected. He thus could not be shocked or outraged that most people cared more about the revelation of abuses than the abuses themselves. Yet, it painted humanity in a rather dark shade.

_They__ see __us__ all __just __as __tools__, __us __biotics__. __If __we __have __eezo __nodules__, __we __are __just __expected __to__ use __them__ "__for__ the __greater __good__". __Apparently __even __if __it __means __kidnapping __and __abuses__. __And__ even__ the __Ascension __Project __is __still __the__ same__ in__ that __regard__ - __if __one__ has__ eezo__ nodules__, __one __is __simply _expected _to__ go __to__ there__. __As __a __child__. __Even __if __one __would__ rather __become __a __craftsman__, __an __academician __or __an __artist__. __It__'__s __just __wrong__._

Shepard had been neither to BAaT nor to the Ascension Project, but instead gone through a military training program, but yet the more he thought about that he felt enraged about the thought. It was the same with him - the Navy had taken him on with no questions due to his biotics. Which of course had meant he had been compelled to train them. Not that he had minded, but now that he thought about it - the thought that everybody just expected biotically gifted people to become actually biotics with implants and training and all, the assumption they would just do so, rankled him.

_They__ see __me__ as __just __a __tool__, __too__._

His hands gripped the railing hard. He shook his head to clear his mind. He would have to think about that later. He did not like to be considered a tool at all, but for now he had more pressing issues. If Saren reached his goal, this all would not matter anyway. Yet, Shepard refused to simply not care about these matters. _I __have __to __work __under __the __assumption __that __we __win__, __that __the __galaxy __will __go __on__. __And__ that __means__ I __have __to __take __every __opportunity __to__ make __it __a __juster__ galaxy__._

And really, it was not like he went out of his way to set wrongs right. It just so happened that apparently these issues came to him, landed in his lap, including opportunities to set things right. And it would be, in Shepard's judgement, irresponsible not to use those opportunities.

He sighed. There was no point in dwelling on the shortcomings of his race. The Council would see to it that the Alliance would be forced to dispense at least some justice, and some reparations. And he had to admit, he had liked hearing about the Alliance's upcoming troubles and about Udina's diplomatic isolation. The Council was in no way perfect, but at the moment he would rather defer to them than to the Alliance.

He still had time until the audience. He had left early enough, because he really did not want to further annoy the Council with anything, not even just a small delay or the risk of one. It was bad enough that he had made the Alliance his enemy, and that he undoubtedly had. Thus, after his transport shuttle arrived at the Citadel Tower he could walk up the steps to it in a slow, dignified manner.

Nonetheless, the Council kept him waiting in their audience chamber. Of course - it was a very blunt method to display authority and power, but also a very effective one. Thus, Shepard was for now all alone in the Council Chamber. It was the first time he was here without Udina. The Ambassador really seemed to have been isolated. Shepard grinned about that. He did not mind the wait. It allowed him to collect his thoughts, to concentrate his mind on the matter of Saren and the Reapers. Not that the Council would believe him about either topic.

Finally the three Councillors appeared, as always far removed from the bridge he was standing on.

"Commander Shepard," the asari Councillor greeted him, "welcome back to the Citadel. We hope your stay will be less troubling for you than your last one."

On his last visit to the Citadel, Shepard had survived an assassination attempt at Flux, and had been forced to battle off an entire group of attackers. So far his stay had certainly been better than that indeed. "Thank you, Councillor. I hope so, too. There is a lot of things I need to prepare."

"We know," the salarian Councillor stated. "We have studied your reports and attached video evidence in depth again. We still do not fully agree with your version of events. However we have come to the conclusion that Saren has become too great a threat to be just ignored."

"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking the Terminus Systems to Citadel space," the turian Councillor explained. "Additionally, we have stocked up naval forces around the Citadel itself."

"If Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel, as you believe, we will be ready for him," the asari Councillor concluded.

_Apparently __I __was __wrong__. _They did believe him about Saren. At least partly. _Finally__. _Shepard did not quite know what to make of that. He decided to simply tell what he thought: "That's... a surprising turn. Or at least to me. But it's certainly good to know. I also sent you a report that Saren's next aim will be Ilos. Is the Council taking action about this, too?"

"Ilos is deep within the Terminus Systems and severed from the main mass relay network," the salarian Councillor answered, "Any fleet would have to traverse the Terminus for weeks. This would pose a significant logistic problem alone, especially as Ilos is also in the Thirty Parsec Zone."

"Additionally, there is no way that the Terminus Clans will remain passive for months while a Citadel fleet scours through their space," the asari Councillor continued, "This would not just pose the risk of war, this would most certainly mean war."

"Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy," the turian Councillor claimed. "With him exposed, he is no longer a threat. You served us well in this case, Shepard, but Spectres are not our only tool. It's time you let us handle the situation now."

"I understand the problem," Shepard replied. "But I disagree with your estimation, councillor. Saren is still a danger, exposed or not. Thus I do think it's up to me again."

"The Spectre charter allows you complete freedom in your actions, if you think they're for the good of Citadel space," the salarian Councillor conceded, "As long as you deliver results, what you do is not our concern."

"However, we do strongly advise you to refrain from attempting to reach Ilos," the asari Councillor said. "As your various political scandals have shown, not to mention the detonation of a nuclear device on Virmire, subtlety is not your style. The style you have served you well in the Traverse, but matters regarding the Terminus require a more deft hand."

"I'll... consider that advise," Shepard replied politely. _Consider __it__, __and __discard __it__. _It was good that the Council had begun to show _some_ sense, but they still seemed too engrossed in everyday political considerations to understand what was at stake.

"We cannot force you not to go, Shepard," the turian Councillor admitted. "However, you should also keep in mind that your operations depend on having the right equipment and supplies."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at that. _What__ does __he __mean __by __that__?_ However, before he could comment on it the asari Councillor said: "Indeed. Commander Shepard, your audience with the Council is at an end. Good luck to you."

Shepard nodded, slightly bowed, and left the Council Chamber.

He still pondered what the turian Councillor had said as he walked down the stairs of the Citadel Tower. Lost in thought, he looked down at his feet as they went down stair by stair. When he briefly looked up, he saw Ambassador Udina standing in front the stairs.

He was accompanied by two security guards. Both were muscle-clad giants, one male and one female. _Genetic__ augmentation__, __and __lots __of __it__. __Probably __organic__ augmentation__, __too__. _Hiring such very specialised experts was not cheap. Udina must have been afraid of him. And not without reason. However, Shepard thought the best way to 'attack' the ambassador was to completely ignore him, make him feel irrelevant and pointless.

Thus, he simply began to walk past Udina, saying just: "Excuse me."

"Shepard, where do you think you're going?" the ambassador asked aggressively.

"Council business, not your concern," Shepard answered with the greatest disinterest as he passed by him and his gorillas.

"If you want to head back to the _Normandy_, forget it," Udina said.

Surprised, Shepard turned around. There was something in Udina's voice which made the Commander sure the ambassador was not bluffing. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"It's plain you intent to cross the Terminus System in your crazy hunt for Saren," Udina answered. "The Council doesn't like it."

"And how would you know?" Shepard asked. He forced a triumphant and provocative grin on his face. "Don't try to pretend, Udina, I know you're out of favour with the Council."

The provocation seemed to work. "And whose fault is this?" Udina exploded. "The whole episode with Saren could have been an opportunity for humanity to gain standing and prestige, but you ruined it with your petty crusades and -"

Shepard had planned to present a calm and superior outside to the Ambassador, but his temper again got the better of him. Enraged, he took a step forward, which cut off the ambassador and made his guard gorillas twitch slightly. "Petty? You have the gall to call that petty? The Alliance lost standing yes - deservedly so. Not because I revealed matters, but because of what I revealed. Because you systematically abused children, dumped them and covered it all up. Because you let Conatix deliberately mass poison entire populations. Because you destroyed lives. I couldn't give the slightest fuck about your standing."

"So I see," Udina answered calmly. His voice dripped with disdain. "But at times the Council does still contact me, and I do know they're displeased. They won't tell you not to go into the Terminus, that's not how they work. But don't think that kissing up to the aliens has made them your friends. They'll use and discard you as a tool as they see fit."

"Is that all you have to say?" Shepard asked. He was not willing to give Udina a stage from where to rant.

"As it so happens that coincides with Alliance interests," Udina continued. "Did you really think we'd continue to supply a ship for your personal use after all you've done?"

"No. Not really," Shepard admitted.

"If that's true then at least you retained some foresight," Udina said, "Even if you didn't act on it. All primary systems of the _Normandy_ have been locked out, and you're suspended as her CO. The formal proceedings to kick you out of the Navy altogether already have begun."

_What__? _And Shepard's second thought: _That__'__s __why __he __was __so __sure __of __himself__! _ The third thought: _But __without __the _Normandy_ I__ can__'__t __catch__Saren__. _And the fourth: _Udina __is __dooming__ all __of __us__!_

Shepard ordered his thoughts and said through clenched teeth: "If you truly communicate with the Council you know what's at stake!"

"Your tall tales about Reapers?" Udina asked. "Nobody is believing you, Shepard. Not the Council, not the Alliance, and certainly not I. Your rise to Spectre status was a political opportunity for humanity. Now, I have to take care of damage control, limit the mess you've made."

"Yes. Politics," Shepard spat out. "Power. Your own standing. That's all you care about. That's all the entire Alliance cares about."

"We..." Udina began, but Shepard did not let him continue.

"You don't care at all about the people," the Commander continued. _Oh __whatever__, __might __as__ well __say __everything __I __have__ to __say__ now__. _"You don't care about humanity! You let the megacorps run roughshod over the population. You colonize far away worlds you _know_ you can't defend, so that every years hundreds are carried off by batarians as slaves. And even if they're not they're living in fucking container villages, but hey, human expansion!" His voice became icier and threatening. "You cover up atrocities, planned mass murderers. You commit mass murders and atrocities yourself to get biotically gifted children you can then use as mere tools. You created organizations like Cerberus who have begun to kill off entire colonies. You systematically tortured children." He breathed heavily and took a pause. "The Alliance only cares for the standing of its elites. It doesn't care about humanity at all."

_That__'__s __it__. __If __the __Alliance __wants __me __out__, __fine__. __I __don__'__t__ think __I __can__ repair__ this __relationship__ anyway__._

"The Alliance..." Udina tried again, but was interrupted again.

"I'm done with you," Shepard announced.

Something in the way the Commander said so made Udina hesitate. "What do you mean?"

"This." Shepard reached to his shoulders and ripped off the hook-and-loop fastened rank insignia. "Your precious 'Alliance' stands for everything that's wrong in human affairs." He threw the insignia to Udina's feet. "I'm ashamed to have been associated with you. I'm ashamed to have accepted medals from you." With one smooth and quick hand movement he ripped off his star of Terra and threw it to the ambassador's feet as well. "I'm done with you. The Alliance means nothing to me anymore."

And with that he turned and left Udina behind, not waiting to hear another word from him.

He set a stiff walking pace to get back to Dock 422, _Normandy_'s dock, as quickly as possible. His mind was in turmoil. He had been in the Alliance Navy for eleven years now. And this was the end of it. Throwing his insignia and medal to Udina's feet was a mere symbolic gesture, but either he or the Navy would soon officially sever their connection, so much was clear.

However the only problem Shepard had with that was how it inconvenienced his mission . _I __wouldn__'__t __want __to __work __for __such __an__ organization __anymore __anyway__. _Yet the thought of what losing the _Normandy_ meant - Saren being free to operate on Ilos, finding the Conduit, unleashing the Reapers on the galaxy - that was a hard thought to bear.

When he arrived at the dock, he saw guards at the entrance to the ship. However, they let him pass without comment. Inside, he was already awaited by Pressly and Ashley. And he had never seen the Navigator so incensed as now.

"I hope you're happy now," the XO greeted Shepard. Such lack of respect was unusual for him. Very unusual. _He__ must__ be __really __angry__. _"I told you this would happen. I can't even fault the Alliance here!"

Ashley, on the other hand, simply seemed tired. "Maybe not," she said, "But you know what happens if we don't catch Saren. Skipper, we must find a way to free the ship. It doesn't matter what you've done, if we can't get the _Normandy _into the air, we're all doomed."

"That much is true," Pressly admitted stiffly, "We must focus on the mission, no matter what happened. I disagree with what you've done, Commander, but if you can get the _Normandy _airborne again you have my support. " And with that he turned and simply walked off.

Shepard felt a bit rolled over by that reception, and could only shook his head. Truth was he had no idea what to do. And truth was indeed that this all was his doing - he had given the Alliance ample reason to take the ship away from him.

"So any ideas what to do?" Ashley asked.

"I'll think of something," Shepard answered weakly. "I only just learned about this myself."

"They herd us here, hold us under house arrest," Ashley reported. "At the moment most of the crew is being questioned at the embassy. You and the aliens are free to go and leave as you see fit, since you're a Spectre and they're not under Alliance authority." There was an obvious hint of accusation in her explanation. _They__'__re __penned__ in __here __because __of what I've done__, __while __I __can__ move __freely__. __And __worst __of __all__, __I __have __no __idea __how__ to __get __them __out__ of__ this __situation__._

"I see," the Commander answered, "I... will think of something". And with that he slumped away.

Shepard realized he already had used up a good potion of his emotional reserves in the confrontation with Udina. Now he just did not know what to do. He slumped away from Ashley and started an impromptu tour of the ship. Indeed all systems had been locked out from ship-side control. As he strolled through the decks, he keenly felt the looks of the crew of him. His head sunk ever lower as he continued the tour. Even the lockers had been sealed, as he discovered on the crew deck. They had even locked away the equipment he needed!

That was too much. Despite having provoked all this, and being quite aware of that fact, Shepard felt betrayed. The Council and Alliance not only withdrew support from him - that would have been understandable. They even deliberately sabotaged his efforts! And that could doom them all.

In frustration he shook at the locker's doors, but they did not open a single centimetre. And with the _Normandy_ being under the control of the powerful Citadel computer networks, probably not even Tali could hack the locks open. He hammered his fist against a locker door a last time and then buried his face into his hands. He had to admit defeat for now. He leaned against the locker and slowly slid down, so far down that he was half sitting leaned at the locker, and half lying down.

That was when he realized Tali approaching. He looked up and tried to force a smile, but as much as he was glad to see her he could not manage to do so.

"Jon, I heard what happened," Tali spoke up.

Shepard sighed and answered: "I guess it was bound to happen. The Alliance had to react eventually."

"It's not just the Alliance," Tali argued, "The Council knew what Udina would do. They let the Alliance take over the dirty job of getting you grounded. They'd have done it themselves if necessary."

"Yeah, probably true," Shepard conceded, "I'm politically inconvenient to them, too. They're busy playing their petty little games while the galaxy soon burns."

"There must be some way to get to Illos," Tali insisted, "You still have most necessary things: Your Spectre rank, your data, your crew, even most of the important equipment. We all stand loyal to you, Jon. All we need is _some_ way to get to Ilos."

"Hah, but that's the hardest part," Shepard said tiredly. "I just don't know..."

Tali walked up to him, sat down besides him and took his hand. "You don't _now_," she said. "But so far you've always figured something out. If anybody can bring us through this it's you. I _know_ that to be true. I trust you."

"That's much stock you put in me," Shepard answered, "Even though it was me who put us into this situation." He was glad Tali was here, and her words were soothing, but he could not share her optimism at all. _Does __she __really __think__ I __can__ turn__ this __around__? __How__?_

"If you hadn't antagonized the Alliance, the Council would still not believe you about the Reapers," Tali pointed out. "It's just how they are. They'd rather look the other way to pretend everything is going all right. It was the same with us and the geth."

"A history lesson? Now?" Shepard asked dismissively, but caught himself immediately: "Ah, I'm sorry, it's... it's just..."

"So damn frustrating," Tali completed the sentence for him. "I know how that is. After all you've been through you have a right to be frustrated. I... I don't know how much help I can be to you. But I'm here for you."

Shepard smiled, and this time it wasn't forced. "Don't think I don't know so. You always have been since our journey started."

"Not everybody gets to be the big saviour of the galaxy," Tali said humorously, "I do what I can."

Shepard sighed again and began: "Which is really more than what I..."

"Don't!" Tali interrupted him surprisingly sternly. "You're lost and frustrated now. You're allowed to. Even you need a break now and then. But you _will_ figure something out. And I'll be here at your side until then, so long as you need me."

Shepard's inner resistance melted. _Maybe __I __will__. _Since Tali sat upright while he lolled half on the ground, the height difference between them was nullified. He leaned his head at her shoulder and sighed. _For__ now __I __can __rest__. __Tomorrow__ I__'__ll __think__ of __something__. _

That was not to be, though. After a while, Joker's voice came through the ship's comm system: "Sorry to interrupt, Commander. Got a message from Captain Anderson."

Shepard sighed and looked to Tali. "Back to business, it seems," the quarian commented.

"Seems so," Shepard answered and stood up. He helped Tali come up, too, and asked: "What is it, Joker?"

"The message said that Anderson wants to meet you in Flux," the Flight Lieutenant answered.

"Flux? Bad choice of location," Shepard commented.

"Hey, can you see the Captain as big club goer?" Joker asked, "No? Me, either. Who knows, maybe he just doesn't know any other."

"You should go," Tali urged. "It can only be better than to sit around here being depressed."

"I will. Let's go." He looked down and grinned abashed. "That is, I'd like to take you up on your word that you'd be at my side."

In response Tali took Shepard's hand and gestured him to move. Shepard raised his eyebrow, but the quarian merely said: "Gladly."

The two did catch looks on their way to the Flux, and Shepard noticed that people were talking. Which was not exactly surprising - the lockdown of the _Normandy_ could not be kept out of the local news channels, and the scene Shepard made in front of the Citadel Tower had been quite public. So of course he would be a centre of attention in any case. That he and Tali were exchanging signs of affections only added to it.

_Let__ them __talk__. _In a way that even only spurred his defiance, and not only concerning this issue. _Let __humanity __see__ me __as __a __traitor__, let them regard me as xenophile sellout to the aliens, __let __the __Council __and__ Alliance __sabotage __me__. __I__ always __prevail__. _Some of his earlier self-certainty, one could even say cockiness, returned.

They found Flux absolutely overcrowded with people. The assault on the bar last time Shepard was here did not seem to have damaged business. It was easy to get lost in the anonymous crowd. Shepard noticed how fewer and fewer looks were following him.

They found Anderson sitting at a table, his back to them. In the general chaos of the bar the Captain did not notice them, until Shepard sat down and directly addressed him.

"Anderson," he greeted his former CO.

"Shepard. Good you could..." Anderson began, but Shepard cut him off.

"You had to know what was going to happen. Why didn't you warn me?" the Spectre asked.

"Udina is no fool," Anderson explained. "He knew I'd try. He totally blocked me from any communication. He only let his guard down some now. And then the confusion in the embassy due to your crew being questioned, that made it possible for me to contact you."

"My crew, indeed," Shepard commented, darkly. "One more thing they can hate me for."

"Some do blame you, yes. But most are more angry with the Alliance's heavy-handed response," Anderson disagreed. "It makes it rather easier to swallow your claims that the Alliance cares more about its reputation than its people if you experience that yourself."

"For how long has Udina planned this?" Shepard asked.

"Ever since you made for Virmire," Anderson answered. "And it has all been coordinated with the Council. The Council usually keeps Udina isolated these days, thanks to your efforts, but they did coordinate this one matter."

"On the matter of sabotaging me. Typical." Shepard said.

"You have to admit the Alliance did have good reason for grounding you," Anderson pointed out. "However, that's not the point here. If Saren goes to Ilos and finds the Conduit, then we're all doomed. Humans, asari, everybody. So we can't let this happen. We have to get _you_ to Ilos."

"There's only one ship that can get me into the Terminus Systems undetected, and she's grounded," Shepard argued.

"Citadel control locked out all of the _Normandy_'s systems, as per the ambassador's orders," Anderson explained. "It's an Alliance ship and an Alliance dock after all. But if we can override it, we can get the _Normandy_ back on-line."

"So that's your plan?" Shepard asked."You'll help me? Udina won't like that."

"Udina dislikes a great many things, Shepard," Anderson stated. "But I can live with his ire better than with the Reapers overrunning the galaxy. And we all have to contribute to stopping Saren one way or the other."

"Okay," Shepard conceded, "but if we just fly off - that's mutiny. I'm not sure if the crew will follow me."

"They will," Tali intervened decisively. "I told you. They were there everywhere we went. They have seen Saren and Sovereign. They all know what it's at stake. Even the ones who don't like you."

_Maybe__... __Maybe__. _"Hm. I'm not so sure of that, but we'll have to risk it," Shepard decided, "So, Captain, what's the plan?"

"No matter their loyalties, we'll have to wait until most of the crew is actually on the ship," Anderson answered, "Then I can unlock her from one of the consoles in the Citadel control center. You'll have some minutes before anybody realizes what has happened."

"That's a restricted area patrolled by armed guards," Tali pointed out. "How are you going to get in?"

"Leave that to me," Anderson said, "Just make sure you're in the _Normandy_ when the systems come back on-line."

"Understood," Shepard acknowledged. "But, Captain - are you sure there's no other way? This seems like suicide to me."

"So could be your mission," Anderson pointed out. "But maybe there is another way." He seemed to ponder the issue. "The order came from Ambassador Udina's office. Maybe I can also override it from there. If I can hack into his computer."

"Sounds better," Tali admitted, "but the ambassador won't just stand by and let you use his computer."

"Hopefully, he won't be there," Anderson said. "If he is, I'll just have to think of something."

"Udina is not the sort of person who will forgive something like this," Shepardi pointed out, "You'll be charged with treason, a capital offence."

"I know," Anderson stated. "But those are the options we have. I break into the ambassador's computer, or I take my chances with the patrols in Citadel control."

"A poor choice," Shepard judged. "Well, it's your risk and hence your decision. But I think hacking Udina's computer is still the less risky variant."

"I agree," Anderson said. "Besides, Udina has made this personal. Then this is settled. You're ready to get the hell off this station?"

"And I thought I could pack all the supplies I need here," Shepard commented with a dry grin. _This __is __a__ problem __indeed__._ The route to Ilos was unchartered and long. "No matter. If we get the _Normandy_ free I'll be able to think of something. I'm ready."

000000

Tali did not return directly to the _Normandy_ as Shepard did. Knowing how few time remained, she instead hastened to make some purchases that she thought would come in handy later on. Or at least she hoped so.

When she did return to the ship, it was together with most of the crew returning from the embassy. Most of them were in a sour mood, complaining about Shepard, Udina or the Alliance. Or, most commonly, all three. _They__'__re __in__ for __quite __some__ surprise__. _It had not been possible to inform them about Shepard's and Anderson's plans.

She made her way to the cockpit, where she found Shepard and Pressly standing behind Joker's chair. All three were highly concentrated.

"Ah good, Tali, already thought you'd come too late" the Commander greeted her absent minded. He seemed fully focused on the cockpit's instruments and systems. All of them were unresponsive due to the ship's lockdown. Big red lights were imposed on the holographic controls. But that would change soon.

"Everybody is aboard," Pressly reported after a while.

"Then let's hope the Captain can pull this off," Shepard said.

"I..." Joker began, when suddenly the red lights all around him vanished, while several new holographic screens began to appear. "He managed it," the Flight Lieutenant simply said, and then immediately began to make use of the freshly unlocked again controls.

"Get us out of here, Joker, now!" Shepard ordered - quite unnecessarily, as the _Normandy_ was already leaving the dock and turning around. Tali could see on the cockpit readings how the ship accelerated at its highest possible rates. She decided to better not think about what pressure this would put on the reactor core.

The Citadel Wards rushed by on the windows. Tali nervously watched the sensors for Citadel ships. The _Destiny __Ascension_, the gargantuan asari dreadnought serving as flagship of the Citadel Fleet, was passed by, but showed no signs of intercepting them. Neither did any of the turian cruisers and frigates present. And finally the Citadel was left behind and became ever smaller on the visual monitors. _We__ made __it__._

"I can't believe we stole the _Normandy_," Pressly commented after a while with a sour grin. "So now you're truly a rogue, Commander. I guess there's some romanticism in that. I just hope this all works out."

"So far it does," Shepard answered, grinning himself. He sounded very sure of himself again.

"Yeah, it does" Joker agreed, "Damnit, no sign of pursuit! I was hoping the Council would send some ships after us. I was looking forward to putting the _Normandy _through her paces. Figured I'd get to see what the ship can really do."

"This isn't a game of tag!" Tali exclaimed. _That __damn__ pilot __still __manages__ to __shock__ me__ with __his __japes__. _"If we can't stop Saren we're all dead."

"However, we might still get to play hide-and-seek with Sovereign," Shepard added. He never seemed to mind Joker's bad humour.

"You know, it doesn't seem like much fun when you say it, Commander" Joker stated. "So, any orders on where to go, exactly? I mean fleeing without direction might be fun for a while, but only for so long."

"We need supplies, the crew needs to be briefed... and we need a plan," Shepard answered, "Just find us a low-key star where we can lay low until we've figured those problems out."

"Will do, Comm..." Joker began, but was cut off when Garrus came running into the cockpit.

"Commander!" the turian said, "My programs... the programs I uploaded onto Noveria's computer systems - they've finally alerted me! Matriarch Benezia is there!"


	26. Ch26: Noveria I: Port Hanshan

**A/N: Normally I, ah, don't do that, but a quick reply to some of the comments for last chapter. It's missing the point to single out Udina as evil here. One of the major topics of the fic is that the Alliance itself is more evil than good. With that being said, onwards with the story!**

000000

Life aboard the _Normandy_ had been weird the last two days. It was still the same ship and the same crew, but the fact that they were all mutineers now had changed things quite a bit. The atmosphere on board was just not the same anymore. The crew still respected the chain of command, of course, but they were less formal. It seemed a lot of their former military discipline had been replaced by camaraderie instead. Tali thought that this made the ship, in a way, oddly more similar to a Migrant Fleet ship.

Nobody knew quite for sure what would happen now. They all had risked everything in order to stop Saren. There was an aura of uncertainty everywhere on the ship. People went about their work, but not with the same routine anymore. They questioned their every move. Technically, after all, they were now all traitors. And unsurprisingly the talk between crew members knew no other topic. In short, the _Normandy_ crew was doubtful and nervous, quite a difference to the splendid professionalism they had usually displayed so far.

There also was another side to that: The crew, having risked everything for the sake of Shepard's mission, felt now more entitled to criticize him. They had followed him because they knew Saren was a threat to the entire galaxy, and not so much out of personal sympathy for him. The whole affair with Burns and BAaT, where Shepard had taken an Alliance MP prisoner to get access to sensible data which he then had leaked to asari media, creating quite many troubles for the Alliance - many in the crew resented him for that. Some few thought him a hero for having exposed the Alliance's crime, but they were clearly a minority. On the whole, the crew had taken part in the mutiny in order to stop Saren, and so they now felt emboldened to criticize Shepard.

This was made worse by the fact that Shepard was no longer Commander - the _Normandy_ had intercepted a navy announcement some hours ago stating that Shepard had been dishonourably suspended from service. Oddly enough, Shepard had reacted very cool to that - but then, de facto it was him who had left the Navy, in a very dramatic display to Ambassador Udina.

In fact, in response to his suspension, Shepard had dealt a parting shot to the Alliance: In addition to all the material he already had published anyway, he now also had sent additional records to his contacts in the asari media - records about how the Alliance had tried to suppress the ExoGeni trial and how the Navy had even ordered Shepard's crew to release Jeong. Records about how the Alliance had most likely deliberately established an AI on its Luna training facility. And records about Cerberus, what it had done, how it used to be an Alliance SpecOps unit, and how they still seemed to hold influence in the Alliance, material so far held back by the Council (though out of consideration to the Council Shepard did not publish the existence of living rachni). _Stilll, revealing all this will only further heat up tensions._

_And __this __is__ not __the __only __problem_, Tali knew. The crew was eager to get to Saren, but the ship's actual next destination was Noveria, where shortly before Saren's main ally, Matriarch Benezia, Liara's mother, had arrived. _The__ crew __doesn__'__t__ like__ that__ detour__._

As for herself, Tali was quite nervous, too. Nervous and excited. Since she was not part of the Systems Alliance Navy she was not a mutineer, but she had helped to steal the _Normandy_. The thought of herself as a shipjacker was something entirely new. Normally that was the sense of the pilgrimage, to experience new things, but Tali was fairly certain that stealing ships was not supposed to be part of that experience. However, she had also wondered if she should not treat it like a sort of big adventure. After all, most likely the _Normandy_ could deal with anything she could encounter, and outrun any chasing ships.

Besides, Shepard had brought them through all trouble so far. She had no doubt he would do so again. Either way, as always she would contribute her best to make everything work. In fact, she was currently in the middle of a double shift. A double shift of boring routine maintenance tasks, to be exact. At the moment she was headed upwards to the crew deck, to get some food, and maybe find somebody for a quick chat in the break between the shifts. As it happened, she found just about the entire squad already sitting at the mess table, except Liara.

It was Ashley who spotted her first. "Ah, Tali," she greeted her, "Finally taking a break?"

The others turned their heads to her, and Shepard smiled. "It's necessary from time to time," Tali replied. Others made place for her to get seated next to Shepard, which she did. She got a nutrients tube from out of one of her envirousit's pockets and asked: "What were you talking about?"

"Our situation," Shepard replied vaguely, "In general." He watched her sitting down, laid an arm around her and stroke her side as a sign of affection, to then turn his attention again to the as usual plentiful plate of food in front of him.

He wore a civilian outfit, something Tali still needed to get used to. Even in his free time he so far always seemed to have worn a uniform. Thus it was no surprise that his collection of civilian clothes was small and outdated: He wore what Tali had heard Ashley calling a "colonist outfit", including a leather vest and leather trousers. The Gunnery Chief had chuckled about it - it seemed to be clothing more belonging to the generation of her father than to Shepard's and hers.

However, Shepard just would not wear the uniform anymore. He had not done so since their hasty departure from the citadel. He was well and truly done with the Alliance. And even though he had been a member of the navy for eleven years he seemed very glad about that - as far as Tali could see, he felt almost liberated. He never had been very enthusiastic about the Alliance in the first place, but now he held only disdain for it anymore.

"In fact, we only just started talking about it," Garrus corrected the Spectre, "And I still can't believe we stole the _Normandy_."

"It's Shepard you're talking about," Wrex pointed out. "Are you worried, turian?"

Wrex had opened up enough in his time on the ship, and people had become accustomed enough to his expressions that it was clear the krogan had just friendly prodded Garrus. However, the former cop replied very seriously: "No. Not really. I know what's at stake. I've heard Sovereign talk. The consequences of stealing the ship will be far less than the consequences if we fail to stop Saren. I just never thought I'd be ship a hijacker."

"Hijackers, mutineers, fugitives from the law," Tali picked up the line of thought. "Very exciting. I wonder what the Alliance would do if we were caught?"

"Hey now, you know the _Normandy_ in and out," Shepard answered, "No other ship could detect _and_ catch us."

That was what Tali had thought herself already, but Shepard had said it with more conviction than she actually felt. "I hope you're right."

"Besides, your father probably has some political pull, right?" Ashley added, "He wouldn't let them throw his little girl in jail."

That made Tali laugh. "You don't know my father. Stealing ships is a capital offence among my people. He'd probably want to execute us himself."

"We got bigger problems than your father," Wrex pointed out, "Like Saren and the Reapers."

"You know, that doesn't actually make me feel better," Tali replied in friendly sarcasm.

"I know what Garrus means, though," Ashely stated pensively, "Not just any ship, too. An Alliance warship. And I helped steal it! Had anybody told me that half a year ago I'd - it wouldn't have ended pretty."

"Stealing an Alliance warship is risky stuff," Wrex agreed. "But the prize... The prize may make it worthwhile. I'm right behind you, Shepard. It's the least I can do."

"We all are," Ashely confirmed, "Much as you can be a pain in the ass, skipper, you're very much preferable to Saren."

"Good to see not everybody considers me crazy," Shepard answered with a smile. He sounded genuinely grateful about it.

"Sometimes crazy is the right way to go," Wrex said. "Now we just need to catch Saren before they catch us."

"Which is why I don't understand why we go to Noveria!" Ashley argued, "We know where Saren is, we can follow him right behind! So why not do so?"

"We need to catch Matriarch Benezia," Garrus pointed out matter-of-factly.

"She's not as important as Saren," Ashley disagreed.

"No," Shepard conceded, "But her information could be. Think about it - the trip to Ilos will take months. And you want to take it blind, basically? After months chasing through the Terminus Systems we'll need every bit of information we can get."

"Besides, if we don't clean up here first, and allow Benezia to escape, she might just continue Saren's work," Garrus added.

"Not if we find the Conduit first," Ashley argued.

"So far we don't even know what the Conduit is!" Shepard pointed out. "Not even Liara does. Which is why we need to get her mother."

"I suppose," Ashley admitted. She sighed. "Poor girl, though. Liara, I mean. We're setting out to capture her mother. Can't be easy on her."

"She's withdrawn completely into her room behind the medbay," Shepard reported, "I can't fault her, I think she's very nervous."

"The whole situation can't be easy for her," Tali commented. "Her mother is a traitor, while she is hunted by Saren. At least I know I always have a home to return to." She looked to Shepard with a tilted head, who quickly squeezed her hand under the table in response. "If need be, that is." For now she was content enough where she was. "I wouldn't know what to do if I found out my father was a traitor."

"Yeah," Ashley agreed, "I know what you mean."

"I don't think Benezia is a traitor," Shepard pointed out. "After Virmire I think we can pretty much guess what happened to her."

"Indoctrination," Garrus said, "Well, whatever it is, at least we got her now."

"On Noveria, of all places. I mean, as we expected, but that planet technically isn't even part of Citadel space," Shepard complained.

"Your legal immunity as a Spectre is still respected there," Garrus pointed out.

"Yeah, but only per special agreement between Council and Noveria's corporate board," Shepard said, "So I tell you, this will still cause trouble. Just watch."

"The crew won't like it at all," Ashley commented, "They followed you so we can catch Saren. Most of them - well, sorry, skipper, most of them dislike you for what you did, and only took part in the mutiny for that one reason."

"I know. Still, it's the best strategy," Shepard claimed. He paused for a while, and then asked: "What about you, Ashley? Where do you stand in all of this?"

"I'm not sure," Ashley admitted, "We're mutineers now, yes, but - You brought up some quite heavy points against the Alliance. I can't just turn a blind eye to it anymore. Maybe you were right - maybe the Alliance isn't good enough for me, instead of the other way round. Just as it wasn't good enough for grandfather's service. But it just feels weird thinking that way."

"I'm not asking you to throw away all your convictions," Shepard stated.

Ashley laughed, but it was a very sour laugh. "Actually, you do," she disagreed, "and you don't even notice. But I'm a big girl, so I'll get over my brooding and indecisiveness. Doesn't fit me, anyway, so don't be worried. No matter what, I'll be behind you. And the crew won't just abandon you, either."

"Thanks, Ashley," Shepard replied sincerely.

The conversation entered a slight lull. Tali wondered what she would do if she were to find out the Admiralty Board had done similar things than what Shepard had exposed about the Alliance. Before she had set out to her pilgrimage this would have been no question - she would have helped hush everything up. Because the duty to her people came above any individuals, and the Admiralty Board led her people. However, nowadays she was not so sure anymore how she would react. Shepard had a point: If people demand sacrifices, they can sacrifice themselves, instead of others. The problem was just that with such an attitude soon nobody would sacrifice anything anymore to the greater good. Besides, there simply was not much room for so much individuality on the Migrant Fleet. For humanity, though, it was probably different.

Finally, Garrus ended the silence and spoke up again: "Jonathan, if I may ask, what are you going to do about our supply situation?"

That _was_ a problem, as Tali knew. She even considered that to be their main problem. The _Normandy_ was strong, fast or stealthy enough to deal with anything they might encounter in the Terminus Systems or elsewhere, and if they could capture Benezia then they could probably gather enough information to deal with Saren. However that all would be moot if the reactor fuel, the replacement parts or even food and water were to run out - and that was a very tangible prospect. As they had not been able to resupply on the Citadel, fuel and food would run out in just a bit more than a week.

Thus, it was only appropriate that Shepard sighed in response. "It's a problem," he admitted, "I'm trying to drum up some support, but as was pointed out, we _are_ fugitives, so it's not easy. One more reason to go to Noveria, hopefully that gives me some time. But might well be we end up starved of supplies."

"With you, everything is possible," Wrex joked (or so Tali assumed), "But you get us through, Shepard."

That much was true, as far as Tali was concerned. She focused on him and added softly: "You always have."

Shepard grinned and drew her closer to him, allowing her to lean her back against his side and snuggle up to him. She could hear Ashley muttering under her breath: "Oh get a room, you two," but it sounded much more amused than actually annoyed. _If__ only __getting __a__ normal__ room__ was __sufficient__. _She thought of the items she had purchased practically at the very last minute on the Citadel.

Shepard just grinned about the comment. After a while he spoke up again "You know, is it bad that I actually enjoy our current state? I mean, with the ship and everything. No compromises anymore, no arguments with Udina or Alliance Command..."

"You always had a megalomaniac streak," Ashley commented dryly. And added deliberately late: "Skipper."

"It's not like you've followed Udina or Alliance Command before," Tali pointed out amused.

"Touché," Shepard conceded.

"It's a reason we should hurry at Noveria, though," Garrus stated more seriously. "The corporations won't care that the Alliance considers you rogue, but if Alliance ships catch up to us there they'll surely hand us over."

"True," Shepad agreed. "It seems I'll have to make maximal use of my Spectre powers. Bludgeon my way through."

That reminded Tali of a thought she had thought of earlier: "It's odd that the Council didn't rescind your Spectre status."

"I've wondered that myself," Shepard said, "There was no message from them about it, nothing in the news. I'm officially still a Spectre."

"Jon, you're under too much stress," Garrus stated, sounding deliberately patient. "Normally you'd be the first to see the reason. The Council can't send a ship into the Terminus, and the excuse of a commander acting on his own doesn't cut it, either - or at least, normally it doesn't."

"Plausible deniability," Shepard concluded. "Hm, could be. News about my, ah, split with the Alliance surely have reached the Terminus warlords by now, making it plain I don't act on its or the Council's behalf. So the whole situation may be entirely to the Council's liking actually."

"And they had coordinated matters with Udina," Ashley added. "Makes you wonder..."

"If they've engineered all this?" Shepard continued her thought. "Maybe. Who can say? I don't like being a tool, but if it allows us to catch Saren..."

"Yeah, I know," Ashley agreed. "Well, we better get ready for whatever we might encounter on Noveria. And since rifles still don't clean themselves, I better should go and do so."

"And I should get back to my work down in Engineering," Tali added. Truth be told, that had been quite a longer chat then she had planned, so she hurriedly sat up and followed Ashley.

Despite her delay, Tali decided for once not to feel bad about it. In the chaos of the mutiny and flight from the Citadel she had barely been able to speak with the others at all. It was good that she had now been able to do so.

She caught up to Ashley on the stairs to the command deck, from which the two stepped into the elevator leading down to the cargo bay. When they had, the Gunnery Chief remarked: "You and Jon seemed happy."

"We are," Tali confirmed, but added with some delay: "As much as circumstances allow, anyway." _No __secrets __between__ shipmates__. _

"Yeah, I'm sure it must be weird," Ashley commented. An awkward pause ensued, during which the elevator reached the cargo bay and the two women stepped out of it. Ashley spoke up again: "Look. I won't say anything... that is, you're both adults, it's your decision. But I know it isn't easy, and if this ends up hurting Jon..."

"That's what I fear, too," Tali replied matter-of-factly. It was.

"What?" Ashley asked surprised.

"I told him that maybe he should go looking for easier relationships," Tali explained. "He disagreed. Not that I complain... but I'm still worried."

"I see," Ashley answered. "Good, because I fully intent to give him the same warning. Maybe even a bit harsher. I must say, you both seem a bit crazy to me."

"Maybe we are," Tali conceded "You've heard Wrex: Sometimes crazy is the best way to go."

"Jon certainly seems to live by that principle," Ashley commented.

"Which just further proves Wrex' point," Tali stated cheerfully, "See you later then, and take good care of our rifles."

She turned to go, but stopped when Ashley called out: "Tali..."She seemed to fiddle with finding the right words and finally said in a softer tone: "I just wanna say... well, good luck to the both of you."

Tali nodded in acknowledgement and went down the ramp to Engineering.

…...

The first thing Tali noted as she stepped outside the _Normandy_ was that Noveria was a _cold_ planet. She realized that if she could tell so despite her envirosuit, that meant Noveria was _really_ cold. She pitied Garrus who stood right next to her - turians, as a race, were more heat affine and less protected against cold than most other races in the galaxy.

The climate was not the only hostile thing about Noveria. She had observed that when the _Normandy_ had requested an approach vector to Port Hannshan's space port. All the time orbital weapons had aimed at the ship, even after its identification. It was clear that the powers that be here did not like them, and had only allowed them in at all due to Shepard's Spectre authority, something they were obliged to respect by contract with the Citadel.

For that reason, to be secure on the planet, Shepard had assembled all of the surviving 'standard squad' - Ashley, Wrex, Garrus, Tali and Liara. Especially Liara - she would be important in confronting her mother. _Hopefully __we __do__n't __need__ to __use__violence __against __Benezia__. __I __hope__ Liara __won__'__t __be__ forced__ to__ fight __her__ own__ mother__. _However, Tali was doubtful about that prospect. Liara, in any case, appeared utterly nervous, even desperate. Nobody commented on it, though - they all could understand her.

Shepard gave the squad an affirming nod, and they all set in motion. _Normandy__'__s_ dock was an inside dock, surrounded by dull, grey walls. The squad went along those on their way to the city proper. However, after walking through a frame, they were stopped. A group of armed people stood in front of them, two human women and a handful of turians. They all were uniformly armoured. _Security__ guards__,_ Tali realized.

"That's far enough," one of the women called out to them. She had black hair, while the other one had yellow hair.

"What do you want?" Shepard called back. Tali noticed how near his hand was to his pistol holster. She readied herself for a violent confrontation.

"This is an unscheduled arrival," the woman explained. "We need your credentials."

Shepard smirked. "Oh come on, I'm sure you know who I am. My face was on the news often enough in recent times."

"We know what you did alright," the yellow haired women said aggressively, "Don't think you can pull the same shit here, Shepard."

"While we do know who you are, Spectre Shepard," the blackhaired woman stated, ignoring her colleague, "We need to officially register you with the local systems. That's the only way we can grant you your Spectre authority here."

"Alright, fair enough," Shepard answered unsurely.

"This process will take some time," the black haired woman continued, causing Ashley to mutter about how this all is a deliberate delay process. "Also I must advise you that firearms are not permitted on Noveria." She turned towards the yellow haired woman. "Sergeant Stirling, secure their weapons."

In one smooth movement Shepard and his entire squad had drawn their weapons and aimed them at the security guards, who copied the move without delay.

"Back away nice and slow," Ashley advised them.

"I'm a Spectre," Shepard pointed out. "With full Spectre authority also on this planet. I'm allowed to carry guns where ever I damn well please."

"This is not for me to decide," the black haired woman replied. "I'm sure this can all be cleared up - in time. For now, though we must secure your weapons."

"Inacceptable," Shepard said. "I don't have the time." That much was true. If the Alliance found out the _Normandy _was here and send ships, then they would be trapped here. Speed was of the essence, and as Shepard had said that meant bludgeoning one's way through, if need be.

In response, the woman simply ordered decisively: "Charge and lock! We are authorized to use lethal force. You have to the count of three to surrender your weapons."

Tali knew what that meant. The violent escalation had just become inevitable. _Jon __always __shoots __first__._

"One..." the woman began, but that was not what Tali was focused on. Instead she intensely watched Shepard's hand - until it gave the signal. The squad began to fire. And the security forces began to return the fire.

While still upholding fire, Tali jumped to the sides of the frame they had just been passed through, diving for cover. There was precisely few of that. Neither the security guards nor most of the squad had any protection what so ever - and that in a firefight at a range of six metres or less. Tali saw one of the turian guards going down. Soon afterwards, she heard a cry to her side and saw Garrus falling to the ground. And the fire exchange did not slow down.

Suddenly, a voice boomed through loudspeakers, so loud that Tali did not only hear it, but also felt its vibrations: "Captain Matsuo, stand down. Mr Shepard, stop firing!"

Tali did just that. More out of shock than anything else. And it seemed the same was true for every other combatant.

"Spectres are authorized to carry weapons on Noveria," the voice announced, now with the loudspeakers on a much lower setting. "Everybody, please remain where you are, emergency medics are en route."

"They hit Marus!" Stirling complained, "They attacked _the__ law_!"

However, before she could say anything more, or do something unwise, Matsuo intervened: "Sergeant Stirling, you heard the orders: Stand down!" And with a disgruntled, muttered "Yes, ma'am," Stirling did.

Both sides already tended to their wounded, as far as medi-gel allowed. It was Liara who had been quickest at Garrus's side and now was applying the gel. The rest of the squad just waited. Hostile glares were exchanged with the security guards, but fortunately no further bullets. Moments later, medics from the _Normandy_ arrived and helped Garrus back onto the ship.

"Ah, shot down by private security forces," the turian lamented, half joking and half serious, "Not quite as glorious as meeting Benezia's goons in battle."

"You just take care that you get healed properly now," Shepard answered surprisingly seriously.

Some minutes full of tension after that, a mixed group of humans and salarians came rushing in. Most of them seemed to be medics, judging by their uniforms, but they were led by a dark skinned human woman in a tight, long, red dress. The medics immediately went for the wounded turian guard, while the woman headed straight for Shepard.

"I'm Giana Parasini", the woman introduced herself, "Assistent to Administrator Anoleis. Mr Shepard, your troubles with the Alliance are not our concern, but you have initiated aggression against Noverian security forces."

Tali noticed Parasini's address of Shepard. With Shepard suspended from the Navy it was correct, but she was amazed how quickly word it seemed to have travelled.

"They made their intention to use lethal force quite clear," Shepard answered the accusation unmoved, "To enforce something they had no right to. As a Spectre I am authorized to carry weapons - and if need be, also to use them."

Tali _knew_ Shepard was just acting the part. He was nowhere near as comfortable with using his Spectre powers. However, they simply did not have the time to stop for such discussions, hence Shepard would not allow himself to display any doubts about his actions

"Correct," Parasini conceded, "but it won't make whatever work you may have here on Noveria any easier for you. I hope that from now on you and Noveria will be a bit more cooperative."

"I surely hope so, too," Shepard agreed.

"In that case, welcome to Port Hanshan," Parasini greeted them, sounding suddenly much less harsh. "One of my duties is orientation of new arrivals. Please, let me accompany you into the port area. Do you have any questions?"

Tali was surprised by the sudden change of demeanour. She shot a quick glance to Shepard, whose eyes where narrowed. He seemed to have noticed it, too. Following Parasini away from the docking bay, he rubbed his chin pensively and then asked: "Has anyone unusual passed through here recently?"

"Unusual?" Parasini echoed the question. She walked slowly, seemingly rather unaccustomed to the dress. "An asari matriarch passed through here a few days ago. Lady Benezia. She came together with a security entourage of asari commandos and several crates of cargo."

"So Benezia is indeed here," Liara almost whispered, voicing everybody's thoughts. For her it meant much more than for the others, though.

"Where is she now?" Shepard asked.

"Benezia left for the Peak 15 research complex two days ago," Parasini answered. "To the best of my knowledge, she's still there. If you want to go there, you'll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port. I can lead you to him."

And so she did. She engaged in self-laudatory proclamations about the value of Noveria to the galactic community and to science, but Tali was not really listening to the details. The essence was that Noveria was a corporate planet through and through. Law was what the Executive Board said was law. And the Executive Board in turn seemed to be filled with representation of the major megacorps backing Noveria. In other words, just the sort of people Shepard loathed and detested. _This __is __problematic__. _

To Tali's surprise, the ante room to the office of the Adminsitrator was just as grey and undecorated as the rest of what they had seen of Port Hanshan so far. There was nothing indicating that they were entering the political centre of Noveria's de facto capital. Parasini told the the squad to wait there, while she led Shepard to the Anoleis' office.

When she returned she tried several times to get a conversation going, but without success. Nobody in the squad particularly liked being here, not after the reception they had arrived in the docking bay. They all just waited for Shepard to come out again.

When he did, Tali immediately noticed that the talk had not gone well. His steps were wide, decisive and angry. "Come on," he said to the squad without stopping, "We won't find any help here."

"What happened, skipper?" Ashley asked.

Shepard, who had already passed by her, stopped and turned around. "Benezia is here quite openly as Saren's executor, to solve some problem in the Peak 15 facility. Anoleis doesn't care at all that Saren is a traitor. Says that Noveria is after all not part of Citadel jurisdiction. And Saren's attack on Eden Prime - not his concern." He breathed out angrily. "Fucking megacorps. Saren is a major investor in Binary Helix, and Binary Helix is a major backer of Noveria, so Anoleis is even covering for him. The damn salarian made it quite clear that there is no way to get to Peak 15. Said both surface and air contact are cut off." He shook his head. "Why the Citadel continues to allow this travesty of a colony to exist I don't know."

"Do you know how valuable Noveria is?" Parasini chimed in in response, "How many advantages in genetic engineering and synthetic int..."

"Oh, can it," Shepard cut her off and set to go again.

However, Parasini stopped him: "Wait, Mr Shepard. Please." And when Shepard did, she added almost whispering: "Anoleis is not the only one who can get you out of here."

"You can?" Shepard asked.

"No," Parasini admitted. "What you need is a garage pass. Once you're in the garage, you can leave Port Hanshan without problem, official clearance or not. And as it so happens, Administrator Anoleis is not the only person with such a pass."

"It sounds like you have something in mind," Shepard remarked.

"I can't tell you too much so close in earshot to Anoleis," Parasini said, "But you could talk to Lorik Qui'in of Synthetic Insights. His offices have recently been ransacked by security forces under Anoleis' orders, so he is not well disposed towards the Administrator."

"Unwell enough to help me?" Shepard asked.

"Probably not without a bit of quid pro quo," Parasini admitted. "We're on Noveria, Mr Shepard, so you would do well to get used the rules of the game here. Which includes intrigue and all the other social niceties."

"I... understand," Shepard answered unsurely.

"Qui'in is in the hotel lounge," Parasini explained. "Good luck, Mr Shepard."

"Come on then people," Shepard wrapped the conversation up. "We don't have much time, nothing has changed about that."

It soon became clear that Shepard was not walking in the direction Parasini had given them. However, before Tali could ask him what he had planned, he called the _Normandy_ and ordered Pressly to take off, activate stealth, and then return into Noveria's high orbit, preferably over Peak 15.

As soon as he had finished the call, Ashley blurted out: "Why that order?"

"To prevent the _Normandy_ from being caught on the ground," Shepard explained. "Look, you've heard Parasini. For her it's all just a game of corporate intrigue. Probably the same reason she conspires against her own boss with us, hell, probably the reasons he suddenly was so friendly - she sees convenient tools in us. But personally, I have no intent to get involved in the mess of corporate politics. Not one bit. We just don't have the time for that!"

"So we use brute force," Wrex concluded.

"Perceptive," Shepard lauded the krogan with a grin. "And when that happens the _Normandy_ must already be comfortably far away."

"How do we get onto her again then?" Ashley asked.

"We'll cross that bridge as soon as we reach it," Shepard answered. "For now, let's go to he garage."

The way towards it could be quickly queried in the local communication net. It was a rather long-winded path full of corners and stairs. At its end they came close to a door with a single guard in front of it; human, fully armoured, female and of somewhat small stature.

Shepard raised his hand to get his people to stop. "Just one guard," he observed quietly. "Right. Tali, do you think you can beat the lock?"

"I can't be sure without having seen it," Tali replied, "but I did some cursory intrusions into the local systems here. If the lock has the same kind of security it should be no problem." Humorously she added: "Garrus managed to upload his spy programs into those systems, so how difficult can it be?"

Shepard did not respond to the humour. Instead, he was fully concentrated on the task ahead. "Ashley, Wrex, guard the corridor. Tali, keep yourself ready. Liara, with me, back me up if the guard becomes too much trouble."

_And __here __we __go __again_. Tali readied herself.

Shepard walked up to the guard, who announced nervously: "A-access to the garage is restricted."

"Ah, sorry," Shepard replied, "I didn't know where this corridor led to. Say, can you tell me where those things are, you know..."

"What do you mean?" the guard asked.

"You know, when you need to - " He ended abruptly and rammed his right forearm into the guard's neck. Immediately afterwards, his leg swept away hers, causing her to fall down. Shepard went down on his knees, using one hand to keep the guard subdued and the other to draw his pistol. "Quiet, now," he threatened.

Without delay, Tali rushed into action and began to hack the electronic lock of the door.

"I... I can't..." the guard began.

"Don't try heroics," Shepard advised her, sounding oddly friendly, while taking away her gun "You won't be able to stop us either way, and I _hope_ I can pull this off without shedding blood."

"Big chance," Wrex remarked. "You should just kill any witnesses."

"'Ah...I'll be quiet," the guard announced.

"Wise girl," Shepard commented. "Tali, how are you coming along?"

"Better if you didn't disturb me," Tali hissed back, too caught up in her work to notice her tone. _Come __on__... _- the system felt in line. The door opened.

"Let's go!" Liara exclaimed. The squad did not need to be told twice. Shepard pushed the disarmed guard up again, and dragged her with him.

What everybody had called the 'garage' seemed to also double as a cargo hub. It sported several transport conveyors, and was full of standard cargo boxes and other equipment lying around. But it did indeed also contain several ground vehicles. It was a fairly large place, all in all.

"I can't believe it!" Ashley shouted and pointed towards one of the vehicles. "Wherever we go we find Makos!"

There was some truth to that. They already had found and used a colony-owned Mako on Feros and now here on Noveria they found one one too: Parked on the other end of the garage, among other vehicles, there was it, looking no different to the one the _Normandy_ had lost on Virmire.

"Well, that settles the question which car to take," Shepard commented. He turned to the captured guard: "I'll regret that, I know, but you're free to go. Get out of..."

But before he could finish or actually release her, a mechanical sound caught everybody's attention.

"What is that...?" Ashley muttered. A further sound, all too familiar, answered the question: The distinctive cackling of geth platforms.

"Shit!" Ashley blurted out. Everybody drew their weapons. Apparently unwilling to trust Shepard's word and realizing her chance, the guard used this to free herself of Shepard's grab and ran away. She did not come far: A hail of geth bullets gunned her down.

Tali was shocked. A shout reached her ear: "Over there, to there!" Experienced and drilled as she was by the battles so far, she recognized and followed Shepard's voice without delay. The Spectre pointed and ran towards an area full of crates. Tali understood: An impromptu fortress.

Tali ran as fast as she could, while the geth still focused on the poor security guard. "The content of Benezia crates," Wrex grumpily commented the situation while running. Once she had reached the crates, immediately the geth onslaught against them began. The enemy seemed to be everywhere: Geth Troopers in front of the crates, Geth Hoppers above them. Tali's shotgun remained constantly in movement, but she just could not cover everything with her weapon.

Bullets came soon flying from every direction. Tali saw Wrex standing upright and basically holding one flank all by himself, but even was slowly pushed back. She pressed herself as tightly against a crate as she could. Enemy shots passed her in less than a hand span's distance, but she just could pay it no heed. She had the means to sabotage the geth - if she was not shot in the process. Hastily she began working on her omni-tool.

_Should __have __prepared __it __already__. __But __who__ could __have__ known __we__'__d __meet __geth __already __here__? __Ancestors __damn __it__, __work__, __damn__ tool__!_

She had no time to supervise the effects of her hacking attempts. She concentrated on sabotaging the enemy weapons, as the squad was too hard pressed to attempt more sophisticated maneuvers. However, enemy fire did not seem to be lessening.

"What the..." she muttered.

"It's working, Tali," Shepard shouted. He must have heard her. "But there are ever more platforms arriving here!"

Tali looked around. Ashley was just dropping her overheated Kovalyov rifle and drew a pistol to defend herself. Wrex was even using his rifle as a club against two platforms cornering him - but that at least with great success. Shepard and Liara were standing back to back, trying in vain to use their biotic powers to stem the tide of geth.

And suddenly, the geth paused.

"What the... What are these things?" A human female voice, shouting. "Fan out and put them down! None of them may leave the garage!" _Captain__ Matsuo__!_

Tali assumed the security guards of Elanus Risk Control Services must finally have arrived in force. She did not look, though - while she and the rest of the squad weremerely surprised, the geth seemed to be utterly dumbstruck by the arrival of a new enemy. _Their __neural __network__ is __overextended__. _And while the platforms still moved sluggishly, Tali used this to fire at them without thought of cover or care for overheating her gun.

Finally, the geth moved again - towards the garage door from where the ERCS guards came pouring in.

"Grab your gear and run towards the Mako while they're distracted!" Shepard shouted.

"The guards..." Liara protested.

"Would try to stop us, too," Shepard shouted back, "Let them and the geth occupy each other."

When Tali arrived at the Mako, everybody else already was there, waiting for her to crack its lock. Nervously, she began to work on it. It took her three attempts before the door finally, _finally_ opened. Fortunately, the Mako carried a command code to open the external garage door - and before it was even only half open, the squad's newly acquired vehicle darted outside, away from geth and guards and into the perilous snow storms of Noveria.


	27. Ch27: Noveria II: Peak 15

Administrator Anoleis had just wanted to keep Shepard away from Peak 15, but in one thing he had spoken the truth: The weather in the region truly was frightening. And the road to Peak 15 proved to be an icy ramp between mountains and deep-cut valleys. Benezia had managed to secure it with some geth turrets, but in truth the weather proved a worse enemy than those installations.

Nonetheless, they eventually reached Peak 15's Central Station. Tali was glad. _A__ return __to__ fighting __geth__ will __be __an __improvement__. __I__ can__'__t __hack__ blizzards__!_

"That's not exactly a good omen," Ashley said as they left the Mako. She pointed towards a burned out vehicle nearby.

"A Kodiak," Shepard observed. "Somebody must have tried to reach the station before us already. Or tried to leave."

The remains of the vehicle were right in front of a large, closed garage door, the counter-part of the one they had gone through at Port Hanshan. The smaller door for people besides it surprisingly proved to be not locked. And as they entered the building, the squad was greeted by very poor illumination.

"Something's not right here," Tali remarked.

"When is it ever," Ashley commented. "We're a magic magnet for things not being quite right."

"Cut the chatter!" Shepard ordered.

The squad entered the garage proper. Dim, reddish light fell from some few sources on the ceiling. Crates created shadows everywhere. An eerie atmosphere covered the garage. _The__ lights __must__ run __on __emergency__ power__, _Tali realized.

A shot rang through the garage. _There __they __are__! __Geth__! _The squad had already expected them.

From all over the garage and from between the crates platforms appeared and fired on the squad. This time, however, Shepard and his team were not caught surprised, and were well positioned. They repelled the first attack, and advanced forward, from position to position, from crate to crate, from cover to cover. Bit by bit the geth were pushed back and put down.

"Jon!" Ashley called out, "Above you!"

Shepard swirled around, and Tali followed his gaze. _Krogan__! __Again__!_ A handful of krogan mercenaries were on a catwalk several meters above the ground. Shepard let himself fall down flat. Several bullets missed him by the tiniest of distances, hurling above his head. He crawled behind a crate, but several shots hit his legs.

Fortunately, most geth platforms had already been downed. Wrex and Ashley stormed up the ramp leading to the krogan, while Liara, Tali and Shepard, still downed, provided fire and biotic support.

There was a certain irony to it that it was Wrex who killed the last standing of his racemates, something that was not lost on Ashley: "Damn, Wrex. Didn't you say something about the krogan slowly going extinct? Jon has the cure now, but it's not released yet or anything."

"Any merc who stays on this damn frozen world for longer than a day is either on Saren's payroll, or stupid," Wrex answered. "Those were both. So killing them is both business and a favour to the universe."

Tali did not even bother trying to wrap her mind around Wrex' logic. That was just how he was. Ashley shook her head, probably coming to the same conclusion, while Liara carefully maintained a blank facial expression. Shepard, though, grinned amused.

He turned to Tali. "So, what do you figure happened here?" Even though he had generously applied medi-gel on his leg, he seemed to limp slightly.

"I wondered myself," the quarian answered. "The local wireless network is down. Let me try to find a working terminal."

There was none. All terminals, computers and most other electronics in the room proved to be unresponsive. It was only at the last one she tried, near to an door into the interior of the facility, that she triggered a reaction. Loudspeakers sounded a female voice: "User alert. All Peak 15 facilities have suffered a great deal of damage. Biohazard materials present throughout facility. Virtual Intelligence user interface offline."

"Biohazard?" Ashley asked disdainfully. "I don't like the sound of that. We have no protection against bio-weapons!"

"However, we can't just stop now just because there _might_ be something out there," Shepard commented, "especially as we currently have no way to get back onto the _Normandy__. _Forward is the only direction we have."

"Forward doing what, exactly?" Ashley asked.

"I think I know what we must do first," Tali said. This got everybody's attention. "The door locks, the main illumination and the VI interface all don't work. There can only be one cause for so many system failures at once: The reactor must have been shut down. Or destroyed, but let's hope it's just shut down. We must reactivate it."

"And if it is destroyed?" Liara asked, "Or if the systems have all been physically damaged?"

"The quarian got a point," Wrex answered (normally, Tali would have considered such an address slightly demeaning, but with Wrex it was, again, just normal) "We have nothing else we can do except restarting the reactor. If it's destroyed, we're out of luck."

Tali realized this had been the first time since their meeting with Parasini that Liara had said anything at all. She looked at her and could not help but to have sympathy with her. While she carefully maintained a calm exterior, she could not hide how closing up to her mother made her ever more uneasy.

"Then let's if we can find the reactor. Seems like we have to go exploring," Shepard announced and opened the door next to the terminal Tali had investigated.

Tali, too, stepped to the door - and paused. _Turrets__, __at __point __blank __range__!_ Her hands stumbled towards her weapon, but before they could reach it she realized the turrets did not react to them. And there was something odd about them.

"Why are the turrets facing inwards?" she asked.

"They want to keep their people in as much as they want to keep other people out," Ashley explained darkly.

"I agree," Shepard said. "Goddamn megacorps. All the same."

The facility seemed totally abandoned. They found no people and no equipment. What the exploration did yield was an elevator leading to a higher level. Fortunately, it seemed to be connected to the emergency power sources and thus was able to carry the squad upwards.

The facility's devastation was even more visible on the level they reached. Once it must have had an impressive glass front, but now the glass was all burst. Thus, Noveria's icy wind came pouring into the building. The entire level was nearly completely snowed in. Metal beams, exposed by the destruction dealt to the building's structure, groaned under the storms rushing over them.

The squad encountered some lone geth platforms, but no organized resistance. The sounds of material wear intensified. It sounded almost otherworldly.

"This place is spooky," Ashley observed. "And I'm used to weird sounding storms. Those happen all the time on Sirona."

A thumbing sound came from somewhere. The squad came closer together, at the bottom of a staircase. They stood back to back, watching their surroundings. A shriek could be heard.

"That was no wind," Wrex stated and turned towards the sound's direction. It had sounded like an animal.

And then they came down the stairs - large brown creatures, like giant versions of those bugs Tali had seen in Amazonia, with giant tentacles and multiple mandibles. And yet, despite their strangeness, the squad had seen such creatures before. They were not at all animals.

"Rachni!" Liara exclaimed.

Fortunately, the rachni belonged to the worker caste and thus were relatively weak in combat. They came pouring down a small corridor, and so the team had no problem to concentrate their firepower on them. They were mowed down long before they could have touched the squad. Still, the shock remained.

"What were those bugs doing here?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah," Shepard agreed, "Does everybody have them, or what? I thought they were supposed to be dead!" He was holding his leg, the one that had been shot earlier. _Not __good__._

"They should be," Wrex growled.

"That must be the 'biohazard material'," Tali concluded. "So the rachni probably belong to Saren. Do you think... do you think Saren and Cerberus are cooperating?"

The squad paused. Glances were exchanged. They seemed all rather dumbstruck by that possibility.

"It's... possible," Shepard said. "There _must_ be a link. So, either Saren and Cerberus, or Binary Helix and Cerberus. Saren is not Binary Helix' only investor, after all."

"According to Admiral Kahoku's files, Cerberus is a rogue Alliance unit trying to create a superhuman soldier," Liara observed. "Why would such a group ally itself with a xenophobe turian who already hated humans with a passion even before his indoctrination?"

"Conspiracies and atrocities may make strange bedfellows," Shepard replied and added sarcastically: "After all we know both Saren and Cerberus have a penchant for attacking human colonies." He made an abrupt hand gesture as if to wave the issue away. "It doesn't matter right now. For now, we still need to find that reactor and restart it." He paused. "But it will be something to consider once we're finished here. No matter if Saren or Binary Helix, it seems we've found a Cerberus associate."

Tali knew what Shepard meant with that. He absolutely, utterly _hated_ Cerberus. It was Cerberus who had driven a girlfriend of him to suicide, after the group had lured her squad into a thresher maw nest on Akuze, just to see how exactly they would get killed. And on the course of their mission he also had found out that another member of her squad had survived, but that Cerberus had tortured him with experiments and caged him like a lab animal for years - and furthermore, that Cerberus had killed a further marine unit the same way, that they had killed an entire pioneer settlement on Chasca, and that they had assassinated Admiral Kahoku.

Saren was by far the most dangerous enemy - but Tali knew that it was Cerberus who was Shepard's personal archenemy. The Spectre still seemed to ponder the issue as he walked on. Gravely, he trudged through the snow, his head hanging low and his shotgun in hand. Tali walked up to him, and comfortingly squeezed his upper arm. Shepard looked at her and smiled.

It soon became apparent that the rachni were the only thing of interest on this level of the building. Apart from them there was only snow - snow on the ground, snow hills covering equipment, snow blockading doors. And it was cold, so cold that Tali shivered even inside her suit - and the envirosuit, epitome of quarian engineering and center piece of every quarian life, had heating systems integrated.

Thus, it was a relief when the squad finally found another elevator leading upwards. _Hopefully__ the__ next __level __will __be__ less__ damaged__. _She was glad when this indeed turned out to be true. The elevator led to a strangely oval shaped corridor, which in turn led to room full of engines and machines - and they were all very familiar to Tali.

"It's the reactor room!" she explained, "If we can -"

"Watch out!" Ashley shouted.

From the other side of the room, a wave of green-brownish creatures appeared. They were obviously rachni in nature, but very small. And they came _swarming_, dozens of them. The squad immediately began firing, but even though one every shot killed a creature some still reached the squad and exploded in disgusting acidic bursts.

"Ewww," Shepard complained when the last creature was killed, "I can understand now why the rachni were all killed the last time around."

Ashley smirked. "I didn't figure you the type to have arachnophobia, or whatever you call it when it's with insects."

"I have nothing against normal, well-adjusted insects going about their daily lives," Shepard defended himself, "I just happen to have an aversion against the spacefaring, will-kill-you-on-sight variant."

"So, rachni are out for our collection of aliens?" Tali joked.

"Damn right," Shepard confirmed. He looked around. "So, this is the reactor room?"

"Yes," Tali anwered. She took a closer look at one of those machines. Even though the symbols on it were all human in origin, she could read them without problems, since her translator system displayed them as the quarian equivalents. "These things seem to be the power backup for the system's main frame."

"Can we get it back running?" Ashley asked.

"Some systems at least, surely," Tali answered.

Immediately she out to work. It soon became clear that one of the memory cores had been damaged. After finding the central control unit for the system, Tali could verify that the data inside it had not become corrupted, though. If she designated one of the two remaining memory cores as the system's primary one, she could move all the data to there. _That__ should __restart __the __VI __system__, __at __least__. _However, it turned out to be quite a complicated process. The memory management of the system was positively arcane, setting up the memory data in stacks that had to moved separately. Finding a way to do so without damaging the data proved to be a challenge.

_It__'__s__ oddly __like __a __game_, Tali realized. _Like__ one__ of__ the __games__ we __play__ on __the __Flotilla__._

Her worked had led her to the centre of the reactor core. She watched her omni-tool tracking the data transfer when suddenly, something illuminated her from the side.

She looked up. A holographic system was standing there. _The__ VI__! __The__ transfer__ must __have__ been__ successful __already__!_

"It looks like you're trying to repair the facility," the hologram said. "Would you like help?"

Tali groaned. "Of all possible VI settings in the galaxy..."

000000

"I can't believe I did all that work for the damn VI!" Tali complained. "I feel unclean. VIs should do work for organics, not the other way round."

Shepard grinned. He, her, and the rest of the squad were all sitting in a tram taking them to Rift Station. According to MIRA, Peak 15's VI system, that was where the problems had happened which Benezia had been sent to fix. Problems so great in fact that several repairs to the Peak 15 infrastructure had been necessary to get the reactor running again and the tram working. Repairs that had been mostly done by Tali.

As she was standing right next to him, she caught his grin. "And you were no great help, either, Jon!"

"I'm sorry," the Spectre apologized. "I was already tasked out with carrying the burden of command."

Truth was rather that he had absolutely no useful technical skills at all. Tali harrumphed, causing him to chuckle. He whispered so quietly that he was sure that the rest of the squad, all well dispersed over the tram wagon, could not hear it: "Maybe I can make it up otherwise. Later."

Tali did not answer, but her nervous finger movements were response enough. Shepard grinned again.

He had to admit, so far everything had gone much better than he had expected. There had been some close calls, like the fight in the Port Hanshan garage. He felt bad about the way the ERCS guard they had overpowered had died. Also, his left leg still hurt. He tried not to show it, but apparently his application of medi-gel had only helped so much. He hoped Dr Chakwas would be able to fix it. However, all in all, they had advanced far more swiftly then he had dared hope for, and had so far weathered any challenge.

Wrex spoke up: "Rachni, geth, krogan mercs, this place is worse than Virmire."

"Don't say such things!" Ashley snapped, "So far nothing bad has happened. Well, not to us anyway."

"Yet all that's missing are creepers and husks," Wrex answered unmoved.

"If those turn up now, I'll just scream," Shepard stated.

The tram arrived at Rift Station. The station's interior seemed to have a similar design than many corridors in Central Station had - basically tubes with a platform in the middle. However, with the reactor working again, Rift Station appeared much better illuminated, and it also used colder and softer colours, making it appear a bit less mechanical.

The train station was relatively big, and Shepard could see several doors presumably leading to other parts of the facility. However, nearly all of them were locked. Shepard could have ordered Tali to open them, but he thought this would be too hasty. First, they needed information. They needed to speak with somebody.

They found one unlocked door - and when they went through it immediately faced weapons drawn and aimed at them. In a heartbeat, the squad drew their own weapons.

Their opponents were human security guards, clad all in white armour. One of them, a dark-skinned bald man, called out: "Stop! Calm down! We want no conflict!" He lowered his weapon, and the rest of the guards soon followed. Slowly, Shepard lowered his weapon, too, watching carefully what the guards would do now. His squad did likewise.

"Sorry," the man spoke up again, "We didn't mean to threaten you. We just didn't know who was on the tram."

"Okay, fair enough," Shepard replied. "Our arrival must've been a surprise. Who are you?"

"Captain Ventralis, Binary Helix Corporate Security," the man answered. "And yeah, you had us in a bit of a shock. We feared being attacked from two sides."

"Attacked? What's going on here?" Shepard asked.

"Bugs. Zillions of them, coming from the tunnel to the hotlabs," Ventralis replied, "My team's been running on stims for days. Look, you're human and that's enough that I won't shoot. But I'd like to know who you are."

Amused, Shepard rose an eyebrow. "Just how long have been you closed down here?"

"Over a week, why?" Ventralis posed a counter-question "That's when the aliens started overrunning the hotlabs."

Shepard just shook his head. It was probably even better the people here had not yet heard of him. "I'm Jonathan Shepard, Citadel Council Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. And the aliens are rachni."

"A human Spectre?" Ventralis replied, "Yeah I think I heard something... wait. Rachni? As in those things the krogan" He looked uncomfortably at Wrex, "killed over a millenium ago?"

"Indeed," Shepard answered. "I've already fought them on other planets. There must be a connection to the ones here."

"And so the Council send you to investigate?" Ventralis inquired.

"Pretty much," Shepard lied. _He __can __believe __rachni __now__, __after __having __seen __them__. __But __Reapers__? __Besides__, __he __does__ belong__ to __Binary __Helix__, __so __let__'__s__ use __the __truth __sparingly__. _ "I'm here to capture Benezia. I heard she was here."

"The asari matriarch, yeah," Ventralis confirmed. "The board send her to clean up the mess. She went down to the hotlabs yesterday. I bet it's her funeral. Han Olar was the only one who made it out of there alive when the... rachni first attacked, and he ain't all there anymore. And we haven't heard from Benezia since she went down there."

"Well then it seems I need to go down there myself," Shepard concluded.

"There's an emergency elevator by the trams," Ventralis said. "This card will let you activate it. It will take you down to the hotlabs. Good luck." He handed the card over.

"Yeah," Shepard answered and stored the card away in a pocket of his armour, "I guess I'll need..."

A terribly familiar shriek interrupted him.

"Hell!" Ventralis cursed. "Man the perimeters!" He ran behind the small crates his security team used as makeshift barrier. Shepard and his squad wasted no time in following him. _He__ knows __what__ he__'__s__ doing__._

One of the bottom's plates burst open, and two rachni soldiers emerged - brown-greyish creatures, of a man's height and more massive. They sported gigantically long tentacles, and a nightmarish mouth full of mandibles. They darted forwards, almost like a bolt with this mouth as its point, right towards Shepard himself.

In controlled panic, Shepard unloosened a biotic attack on one of the creatures. It was almost instinctively - he did not concentrate it and certainly had no time to think of a sophisticated manoeuvre. Instead, he simply lifted the rachni into the air - and was surprised how easy it was. The creature now floated helplessly in the air, swinging around its too numerous appendices.

The other rachni was blocked by Wrex, who stopped it with his own body mass. Shepard was not able to see the fight, too preoccupied with his own foe, but when he could look again, the other rachni lay dead on the ground - riddled with bullets, but also with some limbs nearly torn off. He began to understand why the Council had sent the krogan against the rachni over a thousand years ago.

The remaining rachni was dead before it could hit the ground again. Everybody breathed out in relief.

"Thanks for the help," Ventralis said. "You're a biotic, huh? That's good. We have an asari among the surviving staff. Total egghead, but she knows some biotics, and has stumbled in one of the fights. Those things don't react well at all to dark energy."

"I'll have to keep that in mind," Shepard answered, and meant it. It was good advise. He cringed as the pain in his leg intensified. Before anybody could comment on it, though, he looked around and made a gesture spanning the battlefield. "Is this normal?"

"Yeah," Ventralis confirmed, "Every few hours a group comes up the tram tunnel. It's actually better since we locked down the elevator."

"Can you still hold out?" Shepard asked.

"We have to," Ventralis answered. "You just go on your way. Maybe you can make this stop."

"Hopefully," Shepard said. "Good luck to you, too, then."

The knowledge that the squad would now enter the den of the lion, the heart of the rachni infestation, did nothing to help the mood. Everybody was on edge, even as they walked through the tram station which they knew was secure. Nonetheless, Shepard felt it necessary now to take some pain killers from the ration every Alliance soldier had. They would dull his senses to a degree, but otherwise those senses would be totally distracted by his aching leg.

It showed that the elevator they used to get down to the hotlabs was just, as Captain Ventralis had said, an emergency elevator - it was poorly lit, poorly aired and very small. With two humans, an asari, a quarian and, worse, a krogan stuffed in there, things got quite unpleasant on the way down. Fortunately, nobody seemed to suffer from claustrophobia.

The elevator opened directly to a very spacious platform. There were working desks on the edges of it. Equipment that once had probably been used there laid scattered across the room - datapads, omni-tools, electronic instruments. The chairs, too, had ended up all over the room. Shepard saw no people at the desks, and no corpses, either. However, as he carefully walked forward, he could see something moving on the other side of the platform.

"A survivor," Liara exclaimed. The asari seemed to have judged the situation quicker, and was already running toward the person.

The person turned out to be a male human. He was past his youth and with very short hair, and he barely managed to hold his balance on one of the chairs. Shepard could see no external wounds, but the man seemed to hurt badly.

Liara was already applying medi-gel when Shepard arrived. Judging by the asari's dismayed look, though, it did not seem to work. _Small__ wonder__ - __if __he__'__s __a __survivor __of__ the __rachni__ onslaught __he __must__'ve __been __here __for __days__. __Way __too __late__ for __medi__-__gel__._

The man looked up when Shepard stood in front of him and asked: "Are you here to secure the situation?"

Shepard did not immediately answer and instead posed the counter-question: "Who are you? Are you hurt?"

"I'm Yaroslev Tartakovsky, the operations director," the man answered. "I am hurt, but I am thinking this is not so much important as containing our mistake. You must secure the situation! Is this why you are here?"

Tartakovsky was obviously speaking in English, as otherwise Shepard's translator would have offered a flawless translation. Nonetheless, Shepard wondered why it was not correcting the man's mistakes. He would have to look up the extranet for firmware upgrades once back on the _Normandy_. For now, he answered truthfully: "I'm here to find an asari matriarch, Benezia."

"Asari? I have not seen one," Tartakovsky declared.

"She must be at Rift Station then," Tali commented.

"Yes, but Ventralis said... nevermind," Shepard answered. That _was _strange. Ventralis had told them Benezia had gone to the Hotlabs, and Tartakovsky was positioned so that he should have been able to see every new arrival to here. Something was not quite right about this. "What has happened here? Why are rachni all over the place?"

"You know rachni?" Tartakovsky asked genuinely suprised.

"I've already fought and killed them elsewhere," Shepard explained. "You're not the only who has them."

"Then maybe our mistake, it already has spread," Tartakovsky mused. "But the corporate board, they do not know that. If we do nothing, they will drop bombs from the battlestations. It is the security protocol."

Shepard felt slightly appalled and yet not surprised at all at the same time. "Of course. That's how megacorps clean up their mess. Right, give me the full briefing."

"Eh. I am best starting from the beginning," Tartakovsky answered. "Binary Helix found a rachni egg on a derelict ship, thousands of years drifting. Inside they find many eggs in cryogenic suspension."

"So that's the source," Shepard commented.

"You should've just destroyed all eggs," Wrex said. His voice was full of suppressed anger, but he seemed to have himself under control.

"Yes, now I am agreeing with you," Tartakovsky stated. "But Binary Helix brings egg to here. They plan to clone rachni. Mass-produce them. Create an army."

"What?" Shepard asked. Now he well and truly was shocked and appalled. "And you contributed to that?"

"I was just following the orders!" Tartakovsky defended himself.

"The classical excuse," Shepard growled in response. "Are you familiar with the city of Nuremberg?"

"You are mocking. I am certain you have strong feelings, but we already are paying for our mistake," Tartakovsky said. "I am not thinking I get out of this here alive. If it is pleasing you, that is my punishment. Mother always said I would meet a bad end."

There was some karmic justice to it, Shepard had to admit. The Binary Helix scientists were hoisted by their own petard. However, this was not how justice should look like. This was just aimless devastation. It would have to do for now, though. "Well then. What happened next, after the egg was brought here?"

"When egg got here, Binary Helix found it is not a common rachni," Tartakovsky explained. "It is a queen. They do not need cloning now. Rachni queens can lay eggs in hours and have colony in days. After she lays eggs, they move her to Rift Station. They are thinking that without her they can raise the babies do be obedient."

"An army of slave children," Shepard commented darkly. "Charming."

"Ehh. This was exactly the wrong thing to do," Tartakovsky admitted. "I am thinking that without a queen, rachni do not develop properly. Her mind is shaping theirs. These rachni are uncontrollable."

"And that queen still lives?" Shepard inquired. "Then all we need to do is bring her here."

"No. I am sorry, but this will not work," Tartakovsky disagreed. "We know little about rachni communications and development, but we are theorizing that the queen must shape the minds of the common rachni within their first days. These rachni are beyond saving. It is a sad thing but they must be euthanized. I am thinking that the neutron purge must be set off."

"So, first you destroy those rachni's lives, and now you require them to be killed?" Shepard asked outraged. He knew the rachni were no animals. Cerberus had come to that conclusion, and Shepard had seen all their records. It were sapient beings, despite their insectoid forms. "Bravo! Be that as it may..."

Untypically, especially for when they were on missions, Wrex interrupted him: "You have sympathy with them, _too__?_ They're bugs. Bugs get crushed. Even you must have a limit"

"I do not think sympathy is a feature of physical similarity, nor should it be," Liara spoke up, surprisingly strongly and decisively. Tali just stared defiantly at Wrex.

Shepard answered directly to the krogan: "Try me. I had enough sympathy with large, bulky, violent space lizardmen, didn't I?" Wrex did not answer, and Shepard turned back to Tartakosvky: "As I was saying: Be that as it may, I don't have time for that, anyway." _If__ this __is __as __complicated __as __bringing __MIRA__ online__... _"I'm here only for Benezia."

"Eh. I do not want to be here so much myself," Tartakovsky answered, seemingly unmoved by the discussion he had just witnessed, "But the MIRA system, she will not let you leave. Is failsafe, you understand? You leave without arranging to eliminate rachni, maybe they spread."

"They already have!" Shepard protested.

"I know. You said so. But MIRA, she does not know," Tartakovsky explained.

"So now we're forced to initiate the purge," Shepard complained, "Due to the protocols the megacorps set up. This gets better and better. Once I get out here, and publish the material I have recorded, Binary Helix will be going down the same way ExoGeni is."

"Maybe we are deserving so for our mistake," Tartakovsky agreed, "But you must initiate the neutron purge now!"

"All right," Shepard conceded. He realized the rachni were indeed beyond saving, and if that was the only way they could get out of the hotlabs, he would do it. "How?"

"Arming controls are nearby," Tartakovsky explained. "All you do is insert the key. Then I will give Mira distract co... uh!"

Blood burst forth from Tartakosvky's chest. Something organic darted forwards through his body, and lifted it into the air. This opened the view to the perpetrator of that murder - a rachni soldier emerging from below one of the ground plates, one of its tentacles stretched out and drilled through Tartakovsky's body.

_Shit_. Not even Shepard, who had seen dozens of battles in his careers, was unmoved by the sudden gore. And so it was Wrex who opened fire first. The rest of the squad, including Shepard soon followed suit. Soon, two corpses lay in front of the squad - a rachni one, and a human one.

"Shit," Shepard cursed, "And what now? We can't get out without initiating this neutron purge, whatever that is, but we don't have the code to do so, either. Tali, can you hack the system?"

The quarian hesitated. "Unlikely," she said, "If it's truly controlled by MIRA, then that means the entire processing power of the facility can be used to counter any hacking attempts I make. I could try, but I don't think it would work."

"Unnecessary," Wrex spoke up. He stood bent over in front of Tartakovsky's corpse. "Binary Helix were utter fools, but they still have some brains left" He rummaged through the scientists' clothes without any concern for piety or respect to the dead. However, his search paid off: "Tartakovsky had the code written down," Wrex announced and held up a small piece of paper.

"How... how did you know?" Liara asked nonplussed.

"The neutron purge is nothing you do daily," Wrex explained. "It's a one-time failsafe system. Most people don't memorize codes for that. Their fault most of the time, but now our gain."

_Centuries __of__ experience__, _Shepard reminded himself. It was far too easy to see Wrex as one-dimensional and consider his antics funny. There was far more to him.

Like everything else in the facility, the arming control was handled by MIRA. The VI began to really annoy Shepard. Its console was in a room separate from the main hall, which was packed full with equipment lying around unorderly. The Spectre gave the MIRA the order to initiate the neutron purge, and rattled down Tartakovsky's authorization code.

"Verified," MIRA's hologram answered, "Code Omega execution in one hundred and twenty seconds."

_You __gotta __be__ kidding __me__!_ Two minutes were plenty of time to get out of the purge's zone and back to Rift Station - _But __an advance __warning __would__'ve __been __nice__!_

"Move!" Shepard ordered, "I wouldn't like being hit by a neutron storm."

"Bah," Wrex answered, "Just a sunny day on Tuchanka, nothing m... -"

A shriek interrupted him. Several more followed. They came from outside the small room - from the main hall. And that was the only way back to the elevator.

"Shit!" Shepard cursed once again. "Prepare for battle, we need to fight our way through!"

However, as soon as the door to the main hall was opened, the squad already had their hands full with only repelling the wildly attacking rachni wave. Dozens of rachni came upon them, all ferocious beasts without regard for injuries or for their own life. Either Tartakovsky had spoken the truth and this showed how much they were beyond saving - or they knew about their incoming doom. Or maybe both.

He, Wrex and Liara unleashed a formidable storm of dark energy, tossing rachni right and left. Ventralis had spoken true - the insectoid beasts were affected by biotics like no other enemy Shepard had ever faced. But then, he rarely had faced such a swarm of enemies at once.

Mass accelerated bullets riddled the rachni not hit by dark energy. Rachni fell down, bled to death or even outright exploded. And yet, always more were coming. And time was ticking away.

"Wrex, Liara, hold your biotics," Shepard ordered. "Everybody, let your main weapons cool down best as you can. We'll have to break through, no matter what"

It took ten seconds for the squad to gather their forces - but that was nearly enough for the rachni to overwhelm them. Sidearms proved fully insufficient to stem the rachni tide. Ever more beasts came pouring into the room - gigantic soldiers, somewhat smaller workers and dozens of the disgusting, crab-sized small ones. Once more, Wrex entered physical combat with one of the rachni - a soldier, nonetheless. Like two titans of ancient myths they wrestled in the door frame, both holding their ground, neither side ready to let the other pass.

And then Wrex jumped. Shepard would never have thought a krogan even being able to do so - they seemed too heavy, too bulky, with too low a barycentre. But Wrex did so and grabbed the rachni soldier's head. Violently, he jerked it down, and once on the ground immediately bolted into his enemy's body. The rachni seemed stun by that series of attacks, which allowed Wrex to box and tear it apart until it lay bleeding on the ground.

Shepard could not have hoped for a better signal. "Go!" he shouted. "Make your way to the elevator!"

With an outburst of destruction, the squad turned tables: Now _they_ came pouring _out_ of the room. Everybody ran as quick as they could. Their rifles turned hot, their biotic capacities exhausted, their legs cramped. But they went on. The rachni were taken aback by this sudden sortie. None of them were able to withstand the juggernaut.

Yet, for every member of the squad there was still half a dozen rachni or more. Even while some were pushed aside and killed, others came to take their place.

With their last breath, the squad reached the elevators. Liara, who was especially exhausted from a veritable hurricane of biotic activity she had unleashed, stumbled and fell on her knees half a metre before. Tali and Shepard dragged her inside, while Ashley and Wrex provided fire cover.

A rachni soldier jumped into the elevator just as Liara had been moved inside. Panic ensued, but only for a second. Tali activated the emergency override of the system, and the elevator began to move upwards, ignoring the ferocious beast in its door - which was snapped in half by the elevator's ascension.

The squad collectively breathed out. Shepard looked at them with sympathy. They were dirty all over, covered in rachni blood and acid. The armour Wrex and Ashley wore, and also his own, were full of cuts and damages. He hoped Tali had gotten away better - a suit breach was very much worse for her than any armour cuts were for the rest of the squad. However, she seemed fine. _And __she__'__ll __have__ less__ problems __getting __clean__ of__ all __the __rachni __mess __than__ the __rest __of __us_ Shepard realized with a grin.

His mind already was on what to do now. He would need to speak with Captain Ventralis again. Ventralis had told him Benezia had gone down to the hotlabs, but that was apparently not true. Not only had she not been down there, most likely she had never entered that area of the facility at all - or otherwise Yeroslav Tartakovsky would have seen her. The Captain must have lied, and Shepard very much desired to know just why.


	28. Ch28: Noveria III: Benezia

Shepard and his team returned to Ventralis' post and found it deserted. That was more than just a little odd. They had just fought off waves of rachni in the hotlabs, after Ventralis had told them that Benezia had gone down there. However, according to the only survivor there, there never had been an asari entering the labs. Ventralis must have lied. And now he was not on his post anymore.

The squad consulted on what to do. The whole thing smelled rotten. There was no way that Ventralis could have erred, he must have deliberately lied. Still, they could not blindly chase after him, or write off the whole episode and make straight for Benezia. They did not even know where exactly in the facility the Matriarch was. Thus consensus was that they needed more information, and hence the squad decided the only sensible thing to do was to look for more survivors.

They set out to explore the facility. As it turned out, they did not need to search for long. At the end of one corridor they explored a door opened - and there Ventralis was, standing in an open room even more spacious than the one in the hotlabs, accompanied by several corporate guards. They all had their weapons in hand.

"I'm sorry about that," Ventralis said, "We got orders from Benezia." He turned towards his men. "Open fire!"

"Disperse!" Shepard ordered his squad, shouting at the same time as Ventralis. Standing immobile in the door frame, they made too good targets.

A battle ensued, which the squad successfully managed to draw out over the entire length of the room. With clutter everywhere - tables, equipment, crates - it was easy to find cover. This compensated very well for the numerical superiority of the Binary Helix guards. Despite Shepard's suspicions, Ventralis' attack had come as a surprise - but after just having faced the rachni hordes of hell itself, nothing could shake the squad anymore. Everybody retained discipline and acted fully professionally.

"Wrex, watch your flank!"

"Ash, on your left!"

"I need support!"

"Liara, let me handle this!"

"Grenade!"

Despite being wearied down, the squad had little problem in dealing with Ventralis and his henchmen. Shepard wondered what Benezia had even hoped to achieve. Then he saw the first corpse - the corpse of a massive elcor, lying in the centre of the room. He realized it was not the only one - there also were several human corpses, and one salarian corpse. And they all had bullet wounds.

_A__ cover__-__up __operation__! __Like __Feros__, __just __actually__ executed__!_

A dark anger built up inside him, and he clad himself in dark energy. Defeating the guards had now become more than just a necessity. Now it was his _desire_ to _punish_ them. He came charging out of his cover, blue sparkles emitting from him, fully intent to make them pay for what they had apparently done.

He ran at the guard nearest to him and knocked her out with two well-placed fist hits. He raised one guard in the air with his biotic powers, and opened fire on a group of three nearby. Seeing this, the rest of the squad also came out of their cover, and went into the offensive.

Binary Helix' guards reacted surprised and uncoordinated. Resistance came only slowly - but it came. Shepard noticed how his shields faltered. Cursing, he jumped over a crate to get cover, but a bullet pierced his armour in the back. Thus hit, he fell to the ground ungracefully and painfully. Slowly, he picked himself up again. Ashley, too, lay on the ground as he saw, clutching her side. She was without cover. Wrex stood over her like an immovable rock, trying best as he could to draw enemy fire and protect her.

The guards were going down, too, one by one, but it showed that the squad had already just been in combat right before this battle, and thus had little reserves to draw on. Shepard provided fire support for the squad members still standing and hoped for the best.

Somebody touched his shoulder. In an instant he whirled around - but recognized Liara before he could fire. "Never do that again," he said strictly and breathed out.

"It is over, Jonathan," Liara announced, "I think we got them all."

For a long while, Shepard did not respond. He just sat leaned against 'his' crate, applied medi-gel (he knew that dangerously high concentrations were already building up in his body, but it was not like he had any other choice), and tried to catch breath again. His mind felt completely empty.

"How's... how's Ash?" he finally asked.

Wrex, who still stood next to her, heard the question. "Good enough," he just said.

That seemed almost like cynism. The Gunnery Chief had gotten up to a sitting position again, but she was still holding her left flank. Her facial expressions betrayed in how much pain she was. Slowly Shepard got up and walked to her.

"The medi-gel seems to be working," she said, "But might take some time. Ah, fuck, this hurts like hell."

"See?" Wrex said, "Fine."

Shepard ignored him. "Better go see Dr Chakwas once we're on the ship again. Seems like this will require some medical treatment more extensive than medi-gel. But for now it will do. Take it slow; we all need a rest, anyway."

He looked around, and found Tali. She seemed completely unhurt. Shepard breathed out and smiled relieved. He did not even try to hide his emotions. He just sat down again and tried to catch his breath.

The squad, or at least those members who still could comfortably walk and did not need a major rest, spread out to explore the facility. They found exactly two survivors. Wrex and Liara soon returned with them - one volus who walked behind him, and one human male security guard carelessly carried by Wrex. When they had reached Shepard, Wrex more or less threw the guard to Shepard's feet.

"He was wounded in the firefight. Begged for medi-gel when I saw him," the krogan explained. "I gave him just enough that he would remain cooperative."

"And this," Liara continued, pointing to the volus behind her, "is Han Olar."

"The hotlabs survivor?" Shepard asked. His interest was piqued.

"Yes," Han Olar responded. His speech was accompanied by hissing sounds of his envirosuit. "But it would have been better had I not survived."

"An asari threatened him," Wrex said, "We killed her."

"That was Alestia Iallis." Han Olar explained. "A scientist, or she said. She was assigned to here only shortly ago. On Saren's personal order."

"A plant," Shepard concluded. "Well, one thing after the other." His eyes switched back and forth between the volus and the guard."What happened here?"

"Those people," Han Olar answered, "they simply began to shoot down everybody. We had known too much."

"It was Captain Ventralis!" the guard exclaimed. His voice was a most grating combination of self-righteous pleading, self-pity and whining. "He ordered this! Said the order came directly from Lady Benezia! She's here as Saren's executor, we have to follow her orders!"

"More cases for Nuremberg," Shepard muttered darkly. "I'll ask you for more detailed descriptions later. For now - Han Olar, what happened at the hotlabs?"

"I killed her," the volus answered, as if that would explain everything. The squad looked nonplussed about that answer. Finally, Han Olar continued in more detail: "We were going to lunch when the alarm clocks went off. I ran into the tram. And I closed the doors. She banged on the window once. Then they sliced her to pieces. Her head came apart like a melon. She was Doctor Zhonmua, and I killed her. I closed the door, I killed her."

"Sounds to me like you could only save yourself," Shepard said. "It was Binary Helix who unleashed the beasts. They killed her."

"I was part of unleashing them," Han Olar reminded him.

Shepard groaned. _Then __maybe __you __should __have __died__._ The thought came unbidden, and Shepard was kind of shocked by it. It was not like he actually knew what the volus has done. He would have to reign in his temperament more; it begun to scare himself. He shook the thought off and asked instead:"And Benezia? Was she there?"

"No," Han Olar answered, "Why should she take up the risk herself? I know what I saw. Rachni. I'm not crazy. I _know__. _It were rachni."

"We know," Shepard just answered.

"Oh," Han Olar voiced. "Well then... rachni have a queen. But I only saw common rachni. Find the queen. That is where Benezia will surely be. She was not down there."

"It was a trap!" the guard shouted. "Everything Ventralis said to you was rehearsed before. Benezia ordered this. She knew MIRA would trap you down there. The hope was that the rachni would kill you, or the neutron purge. And if not, well, that's why we waited for you."

Shepard breathed out to calm his thoughts. This man in front of him had participated in a massacre, without any thought of himself, simply because he had been ordered to. As far as the Spectre was concerned, the guard could whimper in pain for some more hours, to keep him 'cooperative'.

"All right," he told his squad, "you know the drill. Continue to look through the facility, see if you can find any evidence to be used, record everything and download all files that you can." _Might __as __well __use__ the __break__ productively__. __Binary __Helix__ will __be __the __next __corp__ to __go __down__. _He himself would ask the guard and Han Olar in more detail.

"Hacking into the systems sounds like my part," Tali answered, "With Garrus not here and Kaidan... very far from here."

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed quietly. He wondered about Tali's formulation. They had never spoken about each other's religious views so far. But far more then that, it was a sad reminder how Kaidan was and would also further be missed, not only as a friend but also as a squadmate.

The most unsettling thing the squad found were dozens more human corpses. The guards' purge of he station truly had been a massacre. Vids were recorded of all corpses, from all angles, with a special focus on their wounds - bullet entries, all of them. And Shepard's interrogation of Han Olar and the guard brought forth even more details.

Tali in the meanwhile worked her magic with the station's electronic system. She was not able to access all systems, as she could not use brute-force tactics against the entire might of the station's computer network as coordinated by MIRA. And there did not seem to be a notice about the kill order anywhere. Benezia must have given the orders orally only.

However, Tali found enough. Apparently, besides the rachni, the other project Binary Helix had worked on in Rift Station was a toxin on a biological base - a non-infective bio-weapon. That, creating bio-weapons, was a clear violation of the most basic Citadel laws. The Citadel Convention about warfare was basically _the_ most fundamental document at the centre of the entire political framework of the Citadel. Admittedly, Shepard had already broken it once, when he had ordered orbital strikes against ground targets on Virmire, a garden world. But this was different - both Virmire and Noveria were outside Citadel jurisdiction, but unlike bombardments bioweapons could always cross borders.

In short, it definitely was something the Council would be interested in. That, and of course the rachni. And for the human public, the shocker would be the brutal purge of the station by Binary Helix' own security forces. Shepard grinned darkly. _Binary __Helix __will __go __the __way __of __ExoGeni__._

Tali also managed to get a detailed map of the facility, including notes. It soon became clear there was only one place in the station that could house a rachni queen - and Han Olar had a point, that would most likely be where Benezia was. Reluctantly, Shepard got up again. They still had a job to do.

…...

The squad had left Han Olar and the security guard behind in the secured parts of Rift Station, the former with a weapon and the latter tied up, and set out to get Benezia. Using the access cards they had taken from the fallen guards it was no problem at all anymore to move freely throughout the facility, and with the annotated map Tali had downloaded they also knew perfectly well where they had to go.

There was no delaying it anymore - they'd confront Benezia now.

"Are you all right?" Shepard asked Liara.

"I am holding up," the asari answered vaguely. "I know what we must do. And maybe we can break through Benezia's indoctrination. It's a small chance, but the only one we have to end this peacefully, so I have to be present."

There really was not much more to say. Shepard breathed out and opened the final door to the room they suspected Benezia and the rachni queen to be in. It turned out be the largest they had found in the station so far, full of equipment and different gangway.

"You do not know the privilege of being a mother." a voice surprised the squad from their left side. They swung around and faced Benezia. She stood in comfortable distance, up a small case of stairs on an elevated platform.

Wrex and Ashley immediately raised their weapons to open fire, but Shepard stopped them with a decisive hand gesture. "She's more valuable as a prisoner," he told them and then turned to the asari Matriarch. "What do you mean, Benezia?

"There's power in creation, human," Liara's mother explained. "To shape a life. Turn it toward happiness or despair. Her children were to be ours. Raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies."

"That didn't work out," Shepard pointed out. "You're at an end, Benezia. Come with us peacefully. Do not force us to initiate violence. You wouldn't... " _survive_he had wanted to say, but after a quick look to Liara changed it into: "...win the confrontation."

"I won't surrender," Benezia declared, "And I won't be moved to sympathy, either, no matter who you bring into this confrontation."

"I came here out of my own free will," Liara disagreed. "I came here to... to appeal to my mother. To her mercy, her warmth, her logic." She looked down. "But apparently I have come too late."

That much seemed to be true. The way Benezia was talking there was no doubt in her, nothing to appeal to. She either had become a fervent believer in Saren or, more likely, was fully indoctrinated.

"My path is clear," Benezia answered her daughter, confirming Shepard's thoughts. "I won't..."

"Sorry, Liara," Shepard whispered - and opened fire.

However, the matriarch proved to have the quicker reflexes - in fractions of a second she raised a biotic barrier protecting her. Going by the blue flickering in the air it was a stronger barrier than Shepard had ever seen before.

"Not enough, human," Benezia said. "Tell me, have you ever faced an asari commando before? Few of your race have." She waved her hand again and a pulse of dark energy hit Shepard. He did not know what biotic skill it was, but it rendered him completely immobilized.

"Watch out!" Wrex shouted.

Calmly and slowly, Benezia walked back some steps, to make way for several asari commandos appearing from behind her. Immediately, Shepard's remaining three squadmates formed a barrier in front of him - but to no avail. The united biotic powers of half a dozen asari commandos hit the squad, who were tossed around all over the room.

Shepard landed unsoftly in one corner - but finally he could move again. And now he, Liara and Wrex countered the Commandos in much the same way. Dark energy filled up the room. Both sides raised equipment, chairs and tables as shield against kinetic attacks.

"I feel somewhat left out here," Shepard could hear Tali mutter. However, even without biotic skills the quarian did what she could. One of the enemy commandos was downed by her with a well aimed shotgun hit to the head.

It was a fierce and intensive fight - but even the famed asari commandos were no match for Shepard's squad anymore, not after his team had defeated geth, husks, Creepers, mercenaries and several more enemies during the mission.

"Breach a way through to Benezia!" Shepard ordered his people. He himself stormed forwards and began shooting - only to notice that the Matriarch's biotic barrier was still standing. It seemed to cost her, though. He could see her slightly trembling. She seemed to get exhausted.

She waved a hand, and one of the doors to the room opened.

"Geth!" Ashley hissed. After Eden Prime she, like Tali, cherished every chance to kill as many of them as possible.

The two remaining asari commandos were reinforced by several light bipedal geth platforms. Snipers, mostly, as Shepard soon found out. The team dug in and waited for Tali, who had already begun working on her omni-tool. Soon, the geth turned inwards, against one of their own - a platformed hacked by the quarian.

This was the signal. The squad rushed forwards and attacked the confused geth. The synthetics were completely overran. Some units tried to fall back on the gangway, but they were pursued and put down. And during that pursue Shepard saw a glass front behind Benezia, and also what was behind it - a giant version of a rachni. _The __queen__._ As they had expected.

It also allowed Shepard to get a good look on Benezia herself. The Matriarch was folding down, sliding towards the ground and leaned against her desk. She seemed to have totally over-exhausted herself. However, before Shepard could react to that, she waved her hand and a further door opened - and krogan mercenaries stormed in.

"Oh quit being so fucking dramatic," Shepard muttered, as if speaking to Benezia. The entrances of her forces seemed ridiculously theatrical to him.

It was Wrex who stood nearest to his racemates. The krogan battlemaster knew he could not stand against so much superior firepower from such short distance. So instead, he unleashed a biotic attack on one krogan, used him as a meat shield, tackled another one and then entered physical combat with a third one. However, the surprise effect he achieved only held so long - soon the enemies ganged up on him.

The rest of the squad rushed to Wrex' defence. A ferocious close quarter battle erupted. In the end, six krogan lay on the ground - including Wrex. He was the only one of them still living.

"Wrex!" Shepard shouted, and kneeled besides the krogan "Hang in there!"

"Don't... worry," Wrex answered. He breathed heavily. "Krogan... regeneration will take care of it. Might take some time, though. This looks bad." He was bleeding profoundly from the chest, so much that Shepard took his comment to be an understatement. "Go... deal with Benezia."

Shepard nodded gravely and stood up. "We have to." He looked to Liara, who nodded as well, but stayed silent.

Slowly, Shepard, Ashley, Liara and Tali walked up Benezia's platform. The Matriarch kneeled cowered down in front of her desk. Slowly, her back to the squad, she stood up.

"This is not over," she said. "Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear."

"Indoctrination," Shepard concluded sadly. He was afraid nothing could be done here anymore. However, he had to try, if only for Liara's sake. "Benezia T'Soni, under the power invested into me by the Citadel Council as part of their Special Tactics and Reconnaissance arm I hereby arrest you."

"I will not betray him!" Benezia answered. Her hands rested on the table, supporting her whole body. "You will... you...ah..." Suddenly but slowly, Benezia rose again and turned around. Slowly, she walked towards Shepard.

"You must listen," she said. "Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions briefly. But the indoctrination is too strong."

"We learned more than we cared to about indoctrination on Virmire," Shepard told her. "You say you have just shaken it off?"

"No. It's still there. I can't fight it," Benezia admitted. "I only managed to seal a part of my mind away from it. Saving it for a moment when I could help destroy him. It will not last long."

"So you could turn on me again," Shepard concluded.

"Yes. But it would not be my will," Benezia answered.

"No!" Liara cried out. "There has to be a solution!" Shepard had never heard so much emotion in her voice. And all of it was despair.

"It is a terror to be trapped in your mind," Benezia said quietly. Her head hung low. "To beat upon the glass as your hands torture and murder. I was powerless, nothing but a tool for Saren. Sometimes there just are no answers, Little Wing, no solutions."

_Little__ Wing__... _It was almost heart breaking to watch how Liara was losing all hope she still had.

Benezia looked up again, at Shepard. "We must do what we still can. We must stop Saren. Listen to me. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago."

"What interest..." Ashley muttered, but then she realized: "Of course, that must be the way to Ilos!"

_Makes __sense__. _"But how could it have become lost?" Shepard asked. "I mean, a mass relay..."

"Your companion is correct. This is the direct way to Ilos. It was propelled out of its systems four thousand years ago, when a star nearby went supernova, but it was not damaged," Benezia explained. "However, its precise speed and vector are impossible to determine. As millennia passed the nebula created by the nova enveloped the relay. It is difficult to find any cold object in interstellar space. Particularly something swathed in hot dust and radiation."

"And yet somebody obviously did. Somebody on Noveria?" Shepard prompted.

"Two thousands years ago the Rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy," Benezia continued. "They discovered the relay. As an extremely territorial species, they were very diligent and patient in finding any possible way into their territory. Over generations they searched, and they found the relay."

"And this queen knows its location?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," Benezia confirmed. "The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen's mind. I was not gentle."

"You always have been when you have been you," Liara whispered. "Even if I did not always see it."

Shepard looked down, almost too afraid to say anything in the face of Liara despair. However, the mission had to come first. "We need to go through that relay," he finally said. "You can help to undo your mistake. Give me that location."

"Of course," Benezia agreed, "I transcribed the data on an OSD. Please, take it." She handed it over. "I transmitted the coordinates to Saren just before you arrived. He's there. You have to stop him. You..." Her voice broke. "You have to stop _me_! I can't... his teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine." She turned around again, walking agitated. "You should... uh... you should..."

"Mother!" Liara cried out. "I... don't leave! Fight him!" It sounded as if something was breaking inside her.

"You've always made me proud, Liara," Benezia said. "You should... You should..." The Matriarch turned around again. Dark energy pulsed around her in purple colours. Her voice was firm again - too firm. "Die!"

A massive biotic storm hit Ashley. She was thrown away several metres. Shepard growled and opened fire, followed by Tali. Liara was at their side, breathing heavily. Hesitantly she raised her pistol. She looked away as she began firing, too. Shepard could glance tears in her eyes.

Benezia came running forward, but it looked awkward, limping. She had already exhausted most of her energy. A biotic barrier was protecting her, but it was too weak - it faltered before she could reach her daughter, or Shepard. Bullets hit her. She fell down.

Shepard closed the remaining distance to her. She lay on the ground and breathed heavily, but did not move for a while. Finally, she awkwardly tried to rise again. "I cannot go on," she declared, obviously again temporarily freed from the indoctrination. "You will have to stop him, Shepard."

"Hold on!" Shepard shouted. He took the remaining medi-gel he still had. "We can still get you..."

Benezia waved off his efforts "No," she said, "he is still in my mind. I am not entirely myself. I never will be again." She fell down again to the ground.

"Mother!" Liara cried out.

"Good night, Little Wing," Benezia said softly. "I will see you again at dawn." She breathed out several times and her face became slack. "No light?" she asked weakly. "They always said there would be... ah..." Her limbs lost all tensions and her eyes closed.

"Mother!" Liare repeated. She ran towards her, and kneeled besides her. "Mother! No! You can't... you can't just leave us here. No..." She grabbed her mother's arms and started crying.

Shepard walked towards her. He lay a hand on her shoulder, and softly pulled her up. She fell into his arms, and Shepard hugged her. Liara continued crying at his shoulder. Tali also closed up and stroke Liara's arm. _We__'__re__ all __here __for __you__._

Shepard saw Ashely limping towards them, but the Gunnery Chief stayed at a respectful distance. Slowly, Liara calmed down somewhat, but she remained clung to Shepard. He did not mind. He knew she needed all the emotional support she could get right now.

A movement caught Shepard's attention. Without letting go of Liara he looked up - and saw Ashley drawing her rifle. He followed her look and saw one of the asari commandos they had killed standing up and moving towards them. Her movements were awkward, without any balance or coherence. Her body jerked wildly, and she seemed threatened to fall down at all times. Ashley obviously did not know what to make of it - she aimed at the Commando, but did not fire.

Shepard lifted one hand from Liara, drew his pistol and swung sideways, so as to put himself between Liara and the Commando. Tali, too, drew her weapon. Liara looked up surprised. When she saw through her tear drenched eyes what was happening she jerked away from Shepard and fumbled to get her weapon, too.

Shepard did not let the apparently undead Commando out of sight. "What the hell..." he muttered.

To everybody's surprise, the asari spoke up: "This one serves as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces. Your musics are colourless." Her voice was obviously not her own. It was oddly distorted, and there was a resonance to it, an echo. Something was repeating her words. _Or__ is __that __just__ in __my __mind__?_

Shepard felt very uneasy, and confused. " Musics? What?" he blurted out.

"Your way of communicating is strange, flat," the Commando answered, "It does not colour the air. When we speak, one moves all."

"This is going to be a fun conversation," a deep voice rumbled. Wrex was walking up to the platform and joined the the rest of the squad again. He still seemed to hurt, as he was obviously very careful with some of his limbs, but considering just what punishment he had just taken, it was amazing that he was up again at all.

However, that was not what Shepard focused on. He began to realize what happened here. "So, who are you?" he asked the Commando. "It's the rachni queen, isn't it?"

"We are the mother," the Commando confirmed - in a way. "We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced."

Shepard's first impulse had been to ask how she could speak through the Commando, but the Queen's last sentence reminded him of something else. _The__ children__... _There really had been much death here on this day. "The children they took away from you," he added quietly. "I'm sorry. We had to kill them. They were attacking everything in sight."

"Those needle-men. They stole the eggs from us," the Queen said. "They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no song of their own. Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear shattered their mind. Their end is lamentable. But it had to be done. Our children would forever have been beyond our songs. They already were lost to silence."

Shepard reminded himself again that the rachni were no animals. They were sapient creatures, and that means the rachni they had fought - they had been isolated and maltreated as _children_, sapient children. It was like in one of the darkest wars in Africa from the last century - child soldiers whose entire life had been destroyed, whose entire mind had been twisted and torn. Realizing that made him sick.

"Lock away a child in a closet until she's sixteen, and she won't be sane," Ashley commented. "That much makes sense at least. But I don't trust this beast to be any better."

"Your companion sings a deep yellow note, but it is in accord with what you must decide," the Queen stated. "You are not in harmony with those who sought to control us. So what is the song you will sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"

Shepard still felt uneasy about the whole thing. However, he realized that this decision had to be made now. He had fulfilled his mission, and the rachni queen was still alive. So he would have to decide what to do with her now. Not that it was much of a question for him. The rachni queen was an innocent, a victim even - and so far the Spectre had always been insistent on the protection of innocents and victims.

However, before he could answer, Wrex spoke up: "There are acid tanks rigged up on that thing. Set them off. Millions of of my ancestors died to put these things down. Don't let them come back." He sounded agitated and aggressive. As always when they talked about rachni, but of course this decision now was especially important to him.

And yet, he was utterly wrong, as far as Shepard was concerned. "She herself has done nothing wrong!" he protested.

"He's right skipper," Ashley said. "I know how you feel about those things, but it's better to be safe than to let a dangerous race loose. Her kind are killers. We've seen that on several worlds now. They're just too dangerous."

To Shepard's utter surprise, even absolute shock, Tali seemed to agree. She spoke hesitantly and quietly, but her words were clear: "Binary Helix must have thought so, too. Those acid tanks are strong enough to kill everything, no matter the biology. They wouldn't have installed that if they hadn't feared the consequences of her getting loose."

"No!" Liara's voice cut through the room. Shepard was surprised by the sudden strength in it. A single tear still glistered in her eye, but she spoke passionately: "Has there not already been enough death here? The Council made a mistake when they let the krogan pursue the rachni. Must we repeat this mistake again? The queen has done nothing to us. Benezia... the real Benezia, my mother... taught that fear and hatred are the worst advisers. What if one day we depend on the good will of others?"

Shepard breathed out, and gathered his thoughts. "Yes, Binary Helix installed the acid tanks," he said. "And we've seen what they think a good clean-up is like. That can't be the solution!"

"True," Tali agreed. She spoke much more decisively now. "We wouldn't want to be like them. And she's the last of her kind. The last of an almost extinct race, only a step away from total death. I can... sympathize with her. Prevention of danger is important. But there is only so much it can justify."

However, there was no consensus. Ashley still argued: "Think about what if this had happened in Tokyo, or Armstrong or on the Citadel. The death toll would be..."

Shepard cut her off: "What happened here is not her fault! It's entirely Binary Helix' fault. And you know what? Binary Helix does have facilities in Tokyo, Armstrong and on the Citadel. _They_ need to go down, not the rachni." He shook his head. "Besides, we humans can be just as savage as rachni. Look at what Binary Helix did here. Look at what ExoGeni and Conatix did, or Cerberus or even the Alliance government. Look at even only the last three hundred years of human history - the World Wars, the Holocaust, the Hunger Wars. Mao, Stalin, the Khmer Rogue, the West African warlords. We have no standing to judge the rachni. And I won't let blind fear lead me to commit a genocide. _Genocide_! That is what you demand here!"

"So?" Wrex... _hissed_. Shepard had never seen the krogan speak like that. His anger threatened to overwhelm him. "You people didn't fight those bastards, so maybe you just don't get it!"

Shepard turned to Wrex and spoke quietly, lowly, darkly - menacingly: "I get how dangerous they can be. And I also get how dangerous krogan can be. Yet I was willing to give the krogan a chance, wasn't I?" That made Wrex pause. Shepard pressed on: "Besides, think about it that way: If the rachni do become a problem again, the Council will have need of the krogan again. Of large, easily replenishable krogan armies."

"You're still robbing us of our biggest victory," Wrex stated, "But I'm in no position to contest you. Do what you want. We krogan will clean up the mistake. Again."

"It's your call, skipper," Ashley agreed, "You'd have to live with the blood on your hand, so I can't very well demand you do it. But please, think of the dangers."

Shepard stubbornly shook his head. "She herself has done nothing wrong. She's a victim, not an aggressor." _And __that __is __really _everything _that __needs __to __be __considered__._ He turned towards the asari puppet of the Queen: "You're free to go."

The Queen had stayed respectfully silent throughout the debate. Now it answered: "You would give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."

"Great. Bugs are writing songs about you," Wrex commented. "Mark my words: You'll regret this."

Shepard ignored him and shook his head. "It's not me who has something to forgive," he told the queen, "You never wronged anybody. I hope it's you who can forgive humanity for what has been done to you and your children."

"We do not perceive physical similarity as first distinguishing feature," the rachni queen "You're... 'human' yet you do not sing in accord with those whose unmelodic shrieks cut into us. Your tone is not complex, but strong and clear, compelling. It makes others fall in with your melody."

Shepard smiled slightly confused. Then he abruptly turned around and walked to the control terminal at Benezia's desk. Fortunately, all buttons on it were well labeled. Thus, Shepard could start the process of releasing the queen. Her asari puppet fell down, now dead for good, as the glass prison she herself was in was raised towards the planetary surface.

_I __hope__ I __won__'__t __in __fact __regret __that__._ Yet, either way, he had not had a choice, as far as he was concerned.


	29. Interlude I: Shepard and Tali

**I decided to put this into an own 'interlude', an irregular chapter, as it just would not fit, mood-wise, at the end of the last chapter. This also allows it to get the space and hopefully attention it deserves, despite being too short for a regular chapter - and it gives me some more time to spend on the next chapter, heh.**

**000000**

When the squad returned to the central hub of Rift Station, they discovered that Han Olar and the captured Binary Helix guard, freed from his restraints by the volus, had somehow managed to carry away all the corpses. How they had managed to do so in the short time, and how Han Olar figured he could trust the guard Shepard did not know. However, he appreciated it very much.

The squad decided to set up camp there for the moment being. Once the storm over Peak 15 would settle down there was actually a very easy way to return to the _Normandy_ - using the captured Mako, they could jump aboard as they had done so often with the ship's original one.

"Consider it me requisitioning it under my authority as Citadel Spectre," Shepard had explained grinning. There had been no protests. After all they had seen, nobody cared all that much about the Noveria corporations' precious property.

However, for the moment the storms were still sweeping too strong through the Skadi Mountains to attempt such a jump. The squad had to wait, and decided that Rift Station, with all its remaining supplies, was much better suited for that than half-destroyed Central Station, where the Mako was parked.

Over the course of an hour, the people had dispersed over the facility. Liara had stated the need to be alone, and nobody knew where she was. Han Olar was still in sight, but was completely withdrawn into himself. He did not seem to regard his surroundings at all. Ashley and Wrex stood together in a far away corner of the room. Shepard could only imagine they were grumbling together about his decision to let the rachni queen live. They also kept the Binary Helix guard close to them and always kept an eye on him.

Shepard and Tali sat together in another corner, leaned against each other. Shepard had removed his helmet and his upper body armour. The removed parts now lay cluttered around him. Neither he nor the quarian spoke for a long time. What he wanted now was a bit of comfortable calm after all the atrocities he had just witnessed. _Everywhere __I __go__, __there__'__s __evil__. __What __a __messed __up __galaxy__._

After a while he spoke up: "At least our mission was productive. Who knew we'd end up with data about a short cut to Ilos here?" Tali made an agreeing sound, but did not say anything. Shepard continued: "But as for this world - I don't even want to know what they do in all the other laboratory facilities on the planet."

"What they did here was bad enough," Tali said. "Just to set it in relation - Peak 15 alone could probably house ten thousands of quarians. And it's all wasted on mad science projects."

"Yeah," Shepard agreed. "On such nice items as creating an army of slave children or developing bioweapons." He paused. "This _is_ a pretty extensive facility, isn't it?"

"I've seen some of the equipment they have here," Tali stated, "Rooms for electronic analysis, rooms for physics simulations, clean rooms for their more sensitive projects..."

"Clean rooms, eh?" Shepard repeated grinning. "I see. Maybe we should return to here one day then."

He had this meant only as a joke to lighten the mood. However, Tali responded: "Actually..."

000000

Tali had an urgent desire to get off this damned world. Geth, rachni, krogan, asari commandos. Mad science, indoctrination, the rachni queen. It was all too much. The mission had been very exhausting to her.

She could understand why Ashley and Wrex had wanted the rachni queen dead. Ashley's reasoning had resonated with her. If Shepard had decided to put safety first, and eliminate the rachni as a threat, she would not have blamed him. That was why she had brought up Binary Helix' reasoning in installing the tanks. Setting them off would certainly have been the choice her father would have made - not out of malice or racism, but simple to minimize dangers. It would have been the pragmatical choice - but as always, Shepard had not greatly cared about pragmatism. And that resonated with her far more, especially _because_ it was such a contrast to what she was used to on the Migrant Fleet. It was as it should be - doing the right things, instead of being constrained by 'necessity' and 'pragmatism'.

However, she was still surprised how much Shepard had sympathized with the rachni. She realized that purely rationally he was right, since the rachni were sapient creatures. However, emotionally she just could not muster the same empathy. Sympathizing with large bugs just went beyond her imagination. Nonetheless, saving the Queen had been the right thing to do. One did not need to _feel_ every right decision. Shepard, though, was all about _feeling_ in such issues - feeling the crimes done to victims, their plights, the injustice of it all. And it seemed he had felt enough with the rachni. In a way, he was still a mysterious being to her. Not that she disliked that. _Not__ at __all__._

At the moment she sat comfortably nestled against him, enjoying his presence, building up psychical reserves again after the difficult mission. She had to admit, it was a nice way to end a mission. They just sat there, and had some light conversation.

"Clean rooms, eh?" Shepard joked in response to something she had said. "I see. Maybe we should return to here one day then."

It was clear he just wanted to make her nervous again. But to her that was more serious. "Actually..." she said. "Actually, we maybe should have a look at them." Shepard paused. His confused face would have made her laugh normally, but now she just pressed on: "On the Citadel you can get pretty much everything. Including all pharmacological items one can imagine. So I used what little time we had there to make some... acquisitions. Immuno-boosters, herbal supplements and the like."

"I... but with the mission just over..." Shepard stumbled.

Now Tali did grin. "Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself?" she teased. More seriously, she continued. "It's not about that. It's about - I've been able to watch you ever since I came aboard. We might both be crazy, but at least I've always known just how you look. Now I think you should get the same chance."

Tali knew this all came kind of sudden and out of the blue, but that was because they had an opportunity to use here. And it was an important issue for her. She trusted Shepard. She had not shown her face to anybody since she had gotten her first envirosuit, but now she wanted to show it to Shepard. It had not even be prudery which had kept her face hidden all the years, as it was with some quarians (and the local ship culture of the Rayya did not consider faces all that intimate, anyway), but simply pragmatism. There never had been any reason to leave the protective shell of the suit. That would simply have been foolish risk-taking for no gain - or so she had thought back on the Flotilla; entirely on the line of thought of her father.

Now, though, now she wanted to be a bit foolish, wanted to throw off the mental shackles that had been around her all her life. Most of all she wanted to remove the barrier of her helmet, of her visor, between Shepard and her, at least for some time. At least for long enough that he would even know what she looked like. That was important to her. She was nervous. About the prospect of removing her visor in somebody's else presence for the first time ever, about possible health risks, minimal as they might be in such an environment and with the right pharmacological preparation, but mostly about how Shepard would react. She knew that any sort of rejection, even if not voiced, would hurt. And yet - she wanted to create at least some closeness between her and Shepard. That was more important than any other concerns. She had too strong feelings for him to let her sorrows and fears get into the way, and she did trust him.

"I..." Shepard began to answer. He looked her straight into the eyes, through the obscuration of the visor. "I would very much like so." It sounded so serious, and yet longing in a way. Genuinely sincere. "But... there are still risks, aren't there?"

"There are always are," Tali replied. She was alleviated that Shepard seemed to genuinely want this, too. That was more important than the risks. If she had deemed them too great she would not have brought up the matter, anyway. "Better to face them now than before the next big mission." She stood up, to speed up the process.

Shepard smiled and did likewise. "You have a point there," he said. He turned to her. Oddly, he looked somewhat abashed. "Tali, I... You told me how important such gestures are in quarian society. I'm no quarian, but I... I want you to know that this is important for me, too. To remove a further obstacle between us."

She believed him. _How__ could __I __not__?_ Worldlessly, she took his hand, this oddly broad and flat hand with too many fingers, and led him away. The pharmaceuticals she had purchased on the Citadel were already safely stored in her enviosuit's system. She had it inject them into her body. This was one of the many useful functions of the suit, and given the weakness quarian immune systems even a very important one.

However, it was all a bit too pragmatical - having to use the opportunity here, right after a mission, having to use a research lab that would be sterile not only in the sense of no germs, injecting the medicines. There was not very much romanticism about it. She found it odd how that bothered her, since she had always been very pragmatical in outlook, but she felt there should be more to it. She had never felt the same for anybody that she was feeling for Shepard (which was odd and problematic enough all in itself, given that he was an alien) so to her this meant this should be special, _somehow_.

Not that this would have changed anything. She was determined to go through with this. _This__ is __a __unique __chance __and __if __I__... _As soon as she and Shepard had entered the room, Shepard passionately closed his arms around her from behind and hugged her tightly. Tali's slight depression about the utilitarian nature of it all just - disappeared.

Shepard bowed his head down to her and whispered softly: "I have you, and I don't think I'll let go of you soon." Every time Shepard reassured her of this, of his feelings for her, was still special to Tali. It still managed to make her feel fluttery. When she didn't answer, Shepard continued: "And I think I'm very lucky that I have you."

The fact that such words could be aimed at her, the fact that they came from Shepard, and the sheer aspect of 'love conquers all' behind it - that all worked together to create a dazzling emotional high for Tali. "I'm very lucky that you have me," she murmured in response.

Slowly, she turned around in his arms. She looked deeply into his eyes. They were not as lively as quarian eyes - while the mask did strengthen the effect, even without it quarian eyes has some luminosity on their own. On the other hand, human eyes appeared so much more detailed. And human facial expressions - Tali was always amazed how much Shepard could convey with them. That soft look he had now, full of trust and longing... how could she not respond to such obvious feelings in kind?

They had stood or laid so before, looking at each other, but always with the mask in the way. _This__ will __change __now__. _She fumbled her hands out of Shepard's hug. They were trembling, something the human immediately noticed. Before it could reach her face, one of her hands was taken by one of his. His thumb stroke over its backside, strong enough that she could feel it through her glove. "No haste," he whispered. "I'm here. Take your time. I'm here"

Tali felt soothed, secure, snug. _Maybe __we__ two__ are __all __that__'__s__ needed __to __make __this__ '__special__'. _ She nestled herself tighter against Shepard. When she looked up again she determined that _this_ should be the moment now. She breathed out. She would show her face the first time ever as an adult, she would expose her fragile immune system to Shepard, she would... she hesitated. She wanted that, but now that the moment had come, it was all a bit much.

She broke the comfortable silence with words bursting forth from her. "I... I've never removed my mask for anybody before." She spoke in a rapid speed. "I've minimized the risks, but they're still there, and this makes me nervous. It's stupid I know, it's not like we're going to... - but it is new to me, and whenever I'm nervous I talk too much. It's a defence mechanism and it's stupid, but..."

Shepard interrupted her softly. "I told you before it's cute, not stupid" he said smiling. Slowly, he raised her hand, which he still held. Gently, he led it towards her face. She understood. She took the final move, and loosened her masks lock. There was a hissing sound as air escaped from her helmet. And then, she took the mask off.

Slight panic rose in her again - but then she saw Shepard's reaction. He _smiled__. _Finally, this barrier was removed between them, and he smiled. This made her forgot all worries - what was important now was that there was nothing between them anymore. Long penned up desire broke free in force. Her hands darted forward, and took Shepard's head. His smile made way for an almost comical look of surprise, and then an almost cocky grin. Tali wiped it off by kissing him.

It was... fantastic. For a species reputed to be so brash and aggressive, humans seemed to have surprisingly soft skin, and soft lips. That was the last thought that entered Tali's mind before she lost herself entirely in the moment. Details like that or the surprisingly short human tongue did not register anymore - only the sensuality of the moment and the physical closeness to Shepard did. For Tali, who had gone throughout all her life considerate of every detail around her, self-analytical of every thought in her head, and rational about every approach she took it was new, it was exciting and it was all around fantastic.

Her mask was the only thing she had removed, and yet even so, after she had worn it for the majority of more than a decade, it was almost an overflow of senses assaulting her mind. She desired ever more of it, though. She pushed Shepard against a wall, stemmed an arm against it, and pressed herself ever tighter against the human. _He__'__s__ mine__._

It was almost a shock for her to have such a thought, so selfish and simply wildly inappropriate. However, she had little control over her whirling vortex of thoughts anymore. It had come up, and had been lost again, and thinking so had felt so _natural__. _She wanted more - more senses, more closeness, more time like this. She simply wanted ever more.

000000

On the way to the room Shepard had noticed how Tali seemed to move stiffly. Quarian gait could be a bit funny to human eyes now and then, but most of the time Shepard could find elegance in it. Then, though, Tali had appeared to have lost all of it. _She__'__s __nervous__,_ Shepard had realized. That really had tugged his heart strings in quite many different ways. It was exclusively her who would bear any consequences of this, and yet she had even proposed it in the first place. It was probably all a bit foolish and unreasonable, yet Shepard could not not deny that he wanted this. And so did she, enough to overcome any nervousness.

And so he wanted to make it worthwhile.

Tali revealing her face had been almost magical - which was an almost absurd thought: Before meeting her Shepard would never even have considered that such an act could hold such importance. Her face _was_ undeniably alien. However, quarians were not so different that Shepard would have had to suppress the urge to run away screaming, and besides, he had searched the extranet on how quarians looked already. There had hence been no great surprise to her face, but then, the moment was significant enough even without that. Shepard did not know how Tali would look to other quarians, but to him she looked simply beautiful. And, more importantly, it was _her_.

Her kiss was surprisingly rough, at least at first - wild and full of enthusiasm untempered by experience. Quarian skin seemed to be a bit stiffer than human skin, but Shepard did not dwell on that fact. Rather, his tongue tried its best to keep up with hers. She had him pinned against the wall, and he felt a vague joy seeing her so aggressive. She rarely kept thinking of herself enough.

As she pressed tighter against him, Shepard grabbed Tali's legs and lifted her up. She almost seemed too focused on their mouths not losing contact to even notice, though her legs did swing around his waist. Eventually, he sat her her on a table, freeing up his hands. He began to softly caress her face. That simple touch elicited a muffled moan from her. Shepard understood: For her all those sensations were unknown, new.

He slowed down, tried to become softer. An overwhelming emotion hit him, a feeling of care toward Tali, almost a need on his part to be tender to her. _I__ love __her_. An unbidden thought, but nonetheless true. At other times it might have been scary, considering what it entailed, but now it just felt natural, right. _I __love __her__. _And he wanted to show that.

Tali broke the kiss. She undid her entire helmet, laying her head free. Like most races, quarians had no hair, but the upper side of their heads was instead covered by rather intriguing... - Shepard did not actually know what it was. It looked like colourful skin flaps, but giving it such a prosaic and ugly name would do it injustice. While he did not quite know what it was, he had no problem with appreciating it.

His face came close to hers again. "Beautiful," he whispered under his breath and began plaster her neck with kisses. He felt two strong fingers under his chin. He looked up. Tali had also removed her gloves and began caressing his face. He took one of the hands and kissed it. Tali's other hand stroke all over his upper body, while her mouth now began to work on _his_ neck. It was clear that she wanted to gather as much sense and feeling as possible, and Shepard would be damned if this was not going to happen.

Another wave of emotion surged through him, and a more complete realization: _This__ is __serious__. __This __is__... __goddamn __serious__. __I __love __her__. _

000000

Tali felt carried away by the rush of sensation. Her mouth wandered all over Shepard's face, and her hands all over his body, and the human returned the favour. Emotions welled up inside her. Her heart reached out for Shepard. Of all the things she felt, the closeness to him was the central sensation, the most electrifying one. It felt good being with him like this; it felt right. She could not say how much time had passed. She was probably sitting on her desk for quite a while already. Not that it mattered - she still couldn't get enough. She had half a mind to do away with the rest of her suit here and now. So far she could restrain herself, but what she wanted so very badly was to feel even more - ever more of Shepard.

She had at first thought him merely a crush. She then had admitted to herself that it was more, or had developed into more. She thus eventually had agreed to taking the risk of pursuing such a relationship. However, so far, she never had quite thought about what it meant. She had just trusted that she and he could simply weasel their way through any obstacles. Now, though - what she felt for Shepard was just so _intense _right now. What would she ever do once she had to leave him?

With renewed passion she clung to him. Her arms wrapped around his upper body while she drew him closer. The movement nearly overwhelmed the surprised Spectre , but he soon returned the hug equally fiercely. She looked up and saw him looking intensely at her. Their eyes locked, now finally without anything in between. For a while they simply remained so, looking at each other, content in each other's presence. It was a moment to catch some breath after how passionately they had expressed their emotions. Tali was sure that Shepard's serene, blissful smile was mirrored on her own face.

The magic of the moment was destroyed when Shepard's omni-tool buzzed. The first time it was easy to ignore; Shepard just waved the signal away. However, it was repeated a second and even a third time. Finally, Shepard sighed, let go of Tali and looked at the annoying piece of equipment.

"Wrex, all three times," he said. "The storm is fading down." He sighed again. "Time to go then,"

"Good thing nobody came actually looking for us" Tali remarked. She was still blissfully caught up in what had happened.

"Oh, I think Wrex figured it out," Shepard stated, "Hence the triple message."

"I'm not so sure he'd really be that considerate," Tali said.

"Heh," Shepard made. "Remember on the Citadel, after we had first met? After I had been made Spectre? How Wrex left us so I could telle you my tale about my first combat engagement? He's more perceptive than he let on, and maybe not considerate but... tolerant. I think you just get to be after some centuries."

Tali did not respond. Maybe Shepard was right, maybe not. It did not matter. Either way, they would have to return now. She felt the cold claws of _duty _and _responsibility_ grabbing her again, but of course that was inevitable. The Spectre, however, seemed to sense what was running through her head. He kissed her forehead and whispered: "No worry. We'll repeat this."

"I hope so," Tali said, with a determination that surprised even herself. She grabbed her gloves. Her hands trembled slightly as she put them on again. _Back__ into __my__ prison __again__._ Shepard caressed her neck and her face before handing her the helmet. She noticed his hands slightly trembled, too.

They shared one final kiss, before Tali put the helmet's face plate into its place again. Shepard helped her up from the desk where she was still sitting. They kept very close to each other, and remained so even as they left the room to join the others again.

**000000**

**I'll so have to eat my words about how quarians look once ME 3 is out, won't I? Ah well, nothing that can be done about that... Personally I don't like the idea of quarian hair simply for worldbuilding reasons: I want humans to have one distinctive physical trait unique to them - instead of the other races all being derivations of humans in one way or other as in Star Trek...**


	30. Ch29: Terra Nova I

The Asgard system. Home to one of the most important colonies of the Alliance and a major centre of the galactic platinum market. It was somewhat funny, and maybe even sad, that such an important system could be used for a secret rendezvous between two ships that had to remain invisible to Alliance authorities.

The _Normandy_ had just arrived here from Noveria. Jumping onto board with the Mako 'requisitioned' in Port Hanshan had been difficult, due to the harsh terrain and the bad weather, but the maneuver had succeeded - if more due to Joker's outstanding piloting abilities than due to Shepard's rather average skill (if that) with the ground vehicle. However, problems continued aboard: The ship's fuel reserves would last for less than a week, depending on how much the ship was taxed, and food would run out even before that. Medical supplies, besides simple medi-gel and most basic bandages, were completely used up. There had been just enough material for Dr Chakwas to treat Garrus, Ashley, Wrex and Shepard after the mission on Noveria. All four had been injured in the course of it, beyond the scope of medi-gel to fix everything. Dr Chakwas had been able to - but now she was all out of resources.

Fortunately, Shepard had managed to make contact with Admiral Hackett. Their conversation had been rather icy. The Admiral had been one of Shepard's supporters before, but now he thought the Spectre a traitor. Nonetheless, he believed in the importance of Shepard's mission. Thus, the _Normandy_ would be supplied basically from the Fifth Fleet's backdoor, and the outer Asgard system had been chosen as transfer point for the supplies.

Whether Hackett could scrap together enough material without his higher ups noticing, though, was something still very much unclear. It could be that his supplies would last them only long enough to try to find a new source of supplies. However, it was still too early too seriously worry about that. Shepard did have some alternate plans - Hackett was far from the only source he had. He was sure colonies like Eden Prime or Feros were still grateful to him, for example. Or he could try to give his contacts in asari media exclusive coverage rights of his mission in exchange for money that could buy supplies. On the less probable side of the scale, even the Migrant Fleet (in exchange for Tali's geth data) or Tuchanka (using Wrex' remaining contacts) were possibilities, though Shepard very much hoped it would not have to come to this. For now, he was hoping that Admiral Hackett could give him enough material.

It was also unclear when and how the supplies were delivered, so for now the _Normandy_ could little more than wait, an isolated point under stealth in the outer ranges of the Asgard system. All the while their reserves were running out. However, there was no point in worrying about it. For now, they had committed to the option of using Hackett's help, so either it would come, or not - regardless of how much Shepard or the crew would worry. Thus, the Spectre tried his best not to.

There were enough other things to occupy his mind with. The Council for example. The Alliance considered him a rogue, but the Council did not, and hence he still reported to them. He had just done so some hours ago. Shepard had decided not to tell them about the rachni queen. His status was already fragile as it was - telling the Council he had released a fertile rachni queen into the wild would have been very unwise, most likely. Besides, if the source of Cerberus' rachni were known, maybe the Council would ease up in their efforts against the organization.

So, Shepard had reported the presence of rachni on Noveria, but had treated it as a mystery. He had explained Benezia's presence with Binary Helix' illegal experiments on bioweapons - something that also nicely implicated the megacorp and would hopefully contribute to its downfall. Manipulating the report like this had required cutting out large chunks of his recorded material, something the Council had noticed. They plainly suspected something, but so far they had no actual evidence against Shepard. The spectre hoped it would remain so.

Naturally, he had also sent the gathered material about Binary Helix to his usual media contacts, this time completely sanitized from any mentions of rachni. He had heard the asari media companies he was supplying were considering to open up own channels exclusively for the human market. Shepard would welcome that - it would be a good alternative and competition to the homegrown megacorporate media.

Then there was Liara. As soon as the squad had gotten aboard again, she had basically barricaded herself up in her room behind the medbay. So far, Shepard had not checked up on her, despite a nagging feeling he should. But then, less than twenty-four hours had passed since her mother had died - or more precise, since they had been forced to kill her mother.

And finally, there was Tali. Shepard had to admit part of him already began to question the wisdom of their encounter on Noveria. It had been fantastic, but as was foreseeable Tali had not gotten away entirely clean. She was periodically shaken by coughing fits, and suffered from returning bouts of fever. She on her part claimed to have gotten away lightly and that the experience had absolutely been worth it. Shepard was not so sure about that. It was her call, but he just was - worried. Worried about her well-being, concerned about her in general. With an intensity and endurance that surprised him. On Noveria he had simply been taken away - and that surprised him, too. After all, it had not been like they could have gone further than kissing and light caressing. And yet, it had meant so surprisingly much to him.

There was also another fact - Tali's constant presence around him. She had spent every 'night' shift since Virmire in his cabin, and they tried to match their rest shifts (which was made relatively easy by the simple fact that he was after all the commanding officer of the ship). The funny thing was it had never exactly been planned that way. After Virmire, they both had needed some comfort and afterwards the situation just kind of stuck. Yet, Shepard had no problem with that at all. In fact, he realized, he could get used to it.

And that was a somewhat frightening thought, all things considered.

Currently, she was nestled at his side, while he lay on his bed with his upper body upright. After the mission on Noveria, both had taken a break in their on-ship duties. Since Tali's health already had taken a beating, they had spent the day so far with no more activity than laying around and doing nothing. In fact, Shepard had practically literally tugged her in nice and tight, and snuggled herself in besides her. However, sleep was not on his mind, and even Tali was for a moment outside his immediate thoughts. Currently, he was focused on an extranet news channel, which he could watch on a holographic image projected in front of the bed.

The screen showed a group of humans of various ages, who all had their fists raised. Behind them, a metal wall was covered in several slogans: "Never again!", "Reparations now!", "We're not your tools!". The humans were chanting:

"_Do__ you __hear __the __people __sing__, _

_singing __the __song __of __angry __men__?_

_It__ is __a__ music __of __a __people_

_who __will __not __be__ slaves__ again__!_"

A moderators voice commenced: "The strike on the Ascension Project continues for the fifth day. Instructors and older students hold the Project's part of Grissom Academy occupied and prevent any further instructions from taking place - until, they claim, such a time as justice has been done, reparations have been paid and those responsible for the BAaT project are punished.

"Started by some instructors who themselves are BAaT survivors, the strike was quickly joined by their colleagues and by students out of solidarity. News about what happened at Gagarin Station naturally have hit the biotic community hard. Currently, the Ascension Project is completely on hold, and the strikers refuse to leave its facilities. There is an angry mood about them, which make negotiated solutions appear unlikely. Mitra Hendel, the security chief of the Ascension Project and himself a BAaT survivor, comments on how he sees the situation."

The man appearing on the screen had a face that looked like it probably was always grim - but now it was outright distorted in anger. "They kidnapped and abused me, just so they would have their biotics! They let the turians torture us - they let us die on Gagarin Station, those bastards! I was just fourteen, fifteen, and they let me be tortured! Not as accident, as deliberate policy, so they would get working biotics! For fifteen years I've been silent. They simply hushed everything up, so what was I supposed to do? After everything they had done to me, I was even forced to work for them! After all, how else to prevent they'd do this to the next generation of children as well? Hell, they even told me that!"

"Bastards!" Shepard voiced through clenched teeth. "Blackmail, on top of everything else!"

"They had me abused and tortured and that damn L2 inserted into me," Hendel continued on the screen, "and then just expected me to work for them - and I had no other choice but to agree." He made a furious flinch. "But that's over now. No more. No more compromises. I want my reparations. I want to see those bastards punished. I want the Alliance to owe up to what it has done and take the consequences for it! I want justice! I am owed justice! And now I'll do everything to make that happen!"

It sounded like a lot of repressed anger suddenly bursting forth. Shepard could imagine how Hendel had swallowed his legitimate hate for all those years - but now it exploded, because there was no sense anymore in holding it back. Such people were dangerous, Shepard knew. After years of compromising such people would now do absolutely everything to end the compromises.

The reporter's voice again: "In addition to the current breakdown of teaching activities, the Project faces further difficulties. The revelation of what the Alliance has done to the early biotics has let to a complete loss of any trust in the Alliance by the biotic community - including their families. Parents begin to doubt that their children are safe on Grissom Academy - after all, seeing as the Alliance has hushed up matter for fifteen years, it is clear they have not bettered up, so who can say they won't do the same again? And for that matter, Spectre Shepard's revelations about how the Alliance hindered his ExoGeni investigations, about its AI project on Luna and this former SpecOps group called 'Cerberus' further cast doubt on the general credibility and well-meaning of the Alliance."

"Gotta love indie news stations," Shepard muttered with a grin, "too bad so few people will listen to this."

Tali made a muffled sound. She seemed more interested in getting a comfortable position on the bed, rather than the news. Despite everything, that managed to provoke a slight smile on Shepard's face.

"As a result, a majority of children enrolled in the Ascension Project has been recalled by their parents - despite dire warnings of experts about the dangers of half-trained biotic children without further education. Also, nearly all enrollments for the coming year have been cancelled. Taken together with the occupation of its facilities, it seems that the Ascension Project is nearing its collapse, something fueled by a total distrust into the Alliance's handling of biotic affairs."

A wild grin played around Shepard's lips. He knew there were indeed dangers to half-trained biotics, but he just could not suppress a vicious satisfaction about how it all came crushing down on the Alliance. He did not want to, either. The Alliance deserved this and nothing less. In fact, they deserved even more disloyalty and unrest, every last bit of it. The thing was, they had gotten working biotics out of BAaT. All the atrocities committed there, and it even had paid off. Even some unrests, and even if the Alliance would be forced to pay reparations, all that would not ruin that huge payoff for their crimes. Which was a really infuriating thought. Ideally, the Alliance should suffer from its atrocities more than they profited from them. So as far as Shepard was concerned, the Alliance deserved everything and anything they would get now.

A majority of humans was against what he had done, and many called him a traitor. That of course was very easy to say for people not actually affected by those issues. It was aggravating how people would let others suffer without second thought, just so they could feel good about themselves, but that was human nature: Humans always had a tendency to look the other way if injustices were done to other people. However, the biotics, they and their families - those people were affected directly. It was all about them. And hence they reacted in the only logical way - self-preservation.

"Reports of violence done against Alliance negotiators by the protesters are widely circulated, but not substantially backed up," the report continued.

"Of course," Shepard muttered sarcastically.

"Still, it does seem unlikely any sort of compromise can be found - not only Hendel is actively rejecting such notions," the report went on. "Other biotic projects of the Alliance have come under scrutiny as well. It seems the Alliance is besieged on all fronts concerning the issue. Meanwhile, protests on Earth and the colonies continue, with an ever growing number of pro-biotic protesters. According to surveys taken, ever more humans come around to sympathizing with them. However, a majority still condemns what Shepard has done, and there is a trend to radicalization in both camps."

"Sounds... tense," Tali commented sleepily.

"It is," Shepard agreed. "I've been watching news all day now, and - it's amazing. Minority or not, I didn't think the cause would find so many supporters. Maybe humanity at least has the potential to be better. It's just we never follow up on it..."

"Still, more unrest will follow," Tali said.

"Yeah," Shepard responded, "And it might just be a good thing to shake the Alliance up. The animosity between the two camps is growing daily, it appears. A split going through all levels of human society - through nations, social classes, families. And it is _the_ dominating topic. Reminds me of the Dreyfus Case - not that this would tell you anything, but the point is - I think history will vindicate us, too. Just like the Dreyfusards." He sighed. "Three hundred years later we should be able to do better, though. We should also achieve success in our own lifetime."

"You're right," Tali stated dryly, "It doesn't tell me anything."

Shepard produced a skewed grin. "Sorry. I'm just... kinda pumped up now. After having watched the events for hours now..."

Tali groaned. "Emily was right - you should have gone into politics. When we elect somebody to the Conclave, at least we know that person will get annoying from time to time."

Now Shepard laughed. "Okay, okay, you win." He sighed again. "It is an important cause, though," he added quietly. "I mean, all those people..."

"I know," Tali answered seriously, "It's important. But it's not in your hands anymore. Let Goyle and Hendel and that news channel take care of that. People like... like them." A new coughing fit rocked Tali. To Shepard it sounded more like metal scraping on metal than any coughing he was used to, but then, Tali was not human. He looked down worried at her and bowed down to her, but she waved him off. "I think it's getting better," she said amidst the last coughs, "Don't worry about this, and don't worry about all those people, they have people speaking for them now."

"You're right," Shepard admitted. "But it's not like we have much to do until we get that long awaited signal from Admiral Hackett. Though - I could try to see how Liara is doing. Maybe I should have checked on her immediately, but I was kinda afraid."

"She said she wanted to be alone," Tali pointed out, "and it's less than a day since the death of her mother. But yes, maybe you should now. I'd come along, but two people appearing in her room might be seen as a bit too aggressive."

"Yeah, probably," Shepard agreed. He stretched himself and with many circuitous movements rose awkwardly from the bed. "I do hope she can cope with this all. Damn, I really hate thinking that way, it should be all about her, but fact is we'll need both her biotic potential and her archaeological expertise on Ilos. Poor her. She should have the time to properly mourn, but there just is none."

"You're the commanding officer," Tali said, "even now after the mutiny. You have to think that way."

"Yeah, still, I won't force her," Shepard declared. "If she doesn't want to participate in the mission anymore... I won't force her. Damn, she already was forced to shoot on her own mother and watch her die."

Tali remained silent. Shepard wondered what she was thinking. Even now he was not always sure about that. "And more than that," Shepard continued, "I hope she can deal with it for her own sake. Even throughout all our battles she still managed to maintain an aura of innocence and good will. It would be tragic if she lost that. For her, and everybody else." And with that, he left his cabin.

Dr Chakwas was at her post in the medbay. Shepard nodded a greeting to her, and then knocked at the door of the room behind the medbay. It took a while, but eventually Liara called him to come in. She sounded eerily calm.

She sat at her usual place at her desk, and did not bother to stand up or even turn to look at Shepard. Before he had approached her, she said: "If you're here to talk about Benezia, you need not bother. I have come to terms with it. She brought it upon herself."

This hit Shepard by surprise. Liara was always a bit detached, but so much coldness and cynicism did not fit to her. "Ah... do you really mean that, Liara?" he asked. "She was your mother, so don't pretend it doesn't bother you. Not for my sake and not for the sake of the mission."

Liara remained silent at first. Then she stood up, turned to face Shepard and said: "She was... but she was not. I prefer to remember Benezia as she used to be, before she was corrupted by Sovereign's powers."

"That's good," Shepard answered, relieved Liara was at least not as cold anymore. "That's who your mother was, the true Benezia. And even when she got indoctrinated, she had it in her to fight to the last, to wait for that one moment to break free. You can be proud of her."

"I... had not thought of it that way," Liara admitted, "I was sure that she had chosen her path, just as I have mine. But you raise a good point."

"In the end, she became just another victim of Saren," Shepard stated, "One of many. One further reason to hunt him down.

"We already have enough reason to stop Saren. I do not need to add revenge to the list," Liara declared.

Shepard smiled. _So __much__ for __my __worries__. _Liara was stronger than she appeared at times. "It's good to see that this all hasn't changed who you are, Liara," the Spectre said. _Like__ her __moral__ integrity__. __Bad __enough__ how __revenge__-__driven __I __am __myself__. _"I think the best of your mother lives on in you."

"That's kind of you to say," Liara answered. "I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. We will stop Saren, and I will be with you to the end."

This irritated Shepard. "Liara, I don't want any declarations of loyalty," he stated, "I don't worry about your part in the mission, I worry about you!"

It took a while until Liara was able to formulate her answer: "Longlived as we asari are, we are not unused to death, Jonathan. In fact, most of our romantic partners die long before us, so as a society we are quite used to the death of friends or family. We can only cherish the moments we have, and hold dear the memories of the lost person."

"Will that be enough?" Shepard asked softly and genuinely concerned.

"I... do not know," Liara admitted. "For now, it has to be. It is good to know somebody cares, though."

"It's not just me," Shepard said, "We all care about you, Liara. Tali, Garrus, Ashley, Wrex... ah, even if the latter two probably wouldn't admit it, but you know how they are. You're not alone."

"I know, despite how unusual that situation is for me," Liara replied. "Thanks, Jonathan."

"So, if there is anything on your mind, I hope you know you can always talk to me," Shepard continued, "Or to any of the others."

"I do now," Liara stated. "It is... it's odd. For decades I have been content to be isolated from most people, including Benezia. I only know now what I have missed after I have lost it. And yet, it seems now I am less isolated than ever before, and I feel that is a good thing."

"Well, it is!" Shepard declared.

"I will remember what you have..." Liara began.

However, she was interrupted by Pressly speaking on the ship's communication system: "Commander, you need to get to the CIC, now."

"On my way!" Shepard answered. He looks to Liara again. "Sorry, you heard it."

"Of course, Jonathan," Liara answered. "You are the CO."

Without a further word, Shepard left her room. He ran through the Medbay and then down to the command deck, where Pressly was already waiting for him. The Navigator was standing on a console at the edge of the galaxy map in the centre of the CIC.

"Shepard," Pressly greeted him - since Shepard did not wear the Alliance uniform anymore, he was commonly not addressed as 'Commander' or 'Sir' anymore. He did not mind as long as his orders were still followed. "There's a problem. Since we entered the system we've scanned several objects in it. We've been hesitant about using active sensors for objects near Terra Nova so far, but now we did and well -"

Pressly gestured towards the console near to him. It showed a 2d abstraction of the vectors of several objects in the system. "X57, an asteroid recently captured to be used as a future space station in Terra Nova's orbit is on a collision course with the planet. The three fusion torches used to bring it into the orbit have been aimed so that it now directly targets the planetary surface. We don't know what happened - but if nothing is done, then the asteroid will impact in less than four hours." Pressly paused. "Shepard, this is an ecosphere killer asteroid. Twice the size of the Yucatan asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. Millions would die."

Under different circumstances, Shepard would have been utterly shocked, and part of him was - but he pushed this all back in his mind. What mattered now was doing something about his. He was entirely the Commander now, even though he did not have that rank anymore. "Do we have any indication as to what has happened?"

"None," Pressly answered. "We tried to contact the asteroid, but there was no response. We also hailed the planetary authorities, but they hadn't even noticed something was wrong - and the asteroid doesn't respond to them either, so now they're scared and running around in circles. We have no idea what happened."

"Hm," Shepard grunted. "Not that it matters. We have to stop this. Have the squad assemble! We're going to investigate X57."

000000

Tali sat on her place in the Mako and waited for the rest of the squad to come. Shepard had been very apologetic about the need to bring her along to the asteroid, despite her illness. She understood he was worried, even more so as a further coughing fit had interrupted their conversation, and normally it was a nice to know he cared, but she thought now he exaggerated a bit: Four million lives were on the line. _Of __course_ she had equipped herself and _of__ course_ she would come along. A little cold would not stop her.

Liara was also present, the first time since Noveria that she had come out of her room for a longer period of time. When she had arrived in her spacesuit and armour Shepard had seemed worried about her, too, but to Tali's amusement she had brought forth pretty much the same argument as her: She was maybe not yet _fine_, but she was ready if an entire major colony was at stake.

Garrus was the last one to arrive. In the meanwhile, Shepard was speaking through a shutter of the Mako to Ashley, who was standing outside it. She would not come along. "I need you _here_, Ashley," the Spectre said.

"But why?" the Gunnery Chief pleaded. "I'd think you'd need me down there if things go balls up."

"Look, Ashley..." the Spectre began and then sighed. "We have four hours until impact. And four million lives are at stake. We'll work to the end to avoid the asteroid impact." His voice became quiet. "There won't be an evacuation of us."

Ashley realized. "You're making a suicide mission out of this," she stated flatly. It was impossible to see what she was thinking.

"Well, I hope not," Shepard said. "With every fusion torch we disable the asteroid will lose acceleration, extending the deadline. But if we have to we'll stay on that asteroid until impact. Because four million people are threatened by it!"

"One more reason I should come along!" Ashley argued.

"No," Shepard stated decisively. "One of the squad must stay here. If I should fall... then Pressly will take over command and get the ship to Ilos. He's a damn fine navigator, but he hasn't fought Saren's forces on the ground. We, the squad, have. One of us must remain behind to carry on the torch, to keep up the fight against Saren. And it must be you. The crew accepts you, you're one of them. More so than Wrex, Garrus, Tali and Liara."

That was a simple truth. Besides Shepard, Ashley was the only remaining squad member who was human, and the only one, period, who was still part of the Alliance Navy. However, she was not convinced. "So you're letting me here, and if you all die, you're leaving me to deal with it. With you all dying for my sake."

Shepard grimaced and nearly winced at that. Tali knew what Ashley meant, of course. It would be Virmire all over for her again. She could hardly live with the fact that Kaidan had died while she had been saved. If the squad were to die on the asteroid, this would be the same times five. Tali had no plans of dying, especially not now that she looked forward to repeating what she had done with Shepard on Noveria, but she knew it was a realistic risk - and a reasonable risk with four million lives endangered by that asteroid.

"I'm sorry, Ashley," Shepard said, barely above a whisper. "But we cannot leave those people to die, and yet at the same time we cannot endanger the mission against Saren, either." He spoke with more determination again: "Listen, Ash. If we fall, you'll have to do it. You'll have to kick Saren's ass. And I know you can do it. Not that I plan on dying, but - well, it's the reason you need to stay here. I'm sorry, but it's as simple as that."

"Yeah," Ashley just agreed unenthusiastically. "But if you should die here, and leave me with all that - then I'll kick your ass once we see each other in heaven again!"

"Permission granted," Shepard answered with a lopsided grin. He closed the shutter, and Ashley left the hangar.

Shepard donned his helmet, and a minute later, the hangar door was opened, and the Mako began its descent onto the asteroid. It was a typical lifeless rock floating in space, all grey stone and grey dust with no other features - except, of course, for the fusion torches shooting their red fire into the star-littered sky.

Pressly's voice came through the Mako's communication system: "Shepard, we have received a transmission from the asteroid. It's one way only, we cannot respond, but I think you want to hear it."

The Navigator was replaced by a female voice: "Hello? Hello? To unknown ship - I heard your transmission. They haven't found me yet, but I can't talk long." The woman did indeed sound like she held down her voice so as to not be heard by others. "Shut down the fusion torches or we're all going to die! God, I hope you're hearing this!"

The Mako hit the asteroid's ground on a relative wide dust plain. "They?" Shepard asked. "I wonder who 'they' are."

"Does it matter?" Wrex asked. "The enemy. We now know we'll have to expect resistance at the fusion torches."

"Yeah, I'd just have liked to know before who we're going to fight," Shepard justified himself. "She really could have said so. Ah well. Civilian observer, not trained for crisis situations. Guess we can't fault her."

"We have three hours until the deadline," Garrus pointed out. "We should hurry."

Shepard nodded, and hit the Mako's acceleration. Tali looked at the Spectre with some suspicion. _As __long __as __we __don__'__t__ hit __any __rocks __or __mountains __we__ should __be __fine__, _she thought humorously. It was gallows humour, of course - she would rather not think about what would happen here if they failed. And it was not like Shepard was really bad at driving the vehicle, but as soon as he hit less than even ground he would inevitably run into problems with his rather reckless approach to vehicular mobility. The problem was just that they were on an asteroid - it nearly completely consisted of rocks and mountains. Tali groaned as they took the first slope upwards, though so far the Mako was still stable. A small shack with some larger sensor instruments in front came into view.

"A technical station," Shepard announced, "maybe we'll find some clues here. Dismount!"

Tali immediately headed to the instruments. Evaluating those obviously fell to her job in the mission. They all seemed to be damaged, as far as she could see, and purposefully damaged at that. It was not just material corrosion or impacts, but some parts of them were outright smashed, and...

"Goddamn!" she heard Shepard curse and turned around.

The rest of the squad stood around something, and Garrus was kneeling down. When she approached she could see it was a corpse, which the turian was examining in more detail. "He must've been savagely beaten," the turian said, drawing from his experience as a former C-Sec policeman. "Before he died. Bullet wound at the back of the head... hm, must have been from an extremely close distance. And the way he's lying there - I can't be sure of course, but assuming they just let the corpse here as it fell, then I think he was kneeling."

"He surrendered," Shepard stated coldly, "and yet they shot him nonetheless."

"That seems to be the case," Garrus agreed and stood up again. "I found an an identicard. His name was Gregor Mendel."

"We still don't know who 'they' are," Shepard said, "but this probably gives us a good taste what they're like."

"That, and aiming an asteroid at a planet of four million people," Wrex added unmoved.

"True," Shepard conceded, "But they won't suceed. Onto the Mako again. We're heading straight to the nearest torch now."

In fact, the fiery emission of it already was in view, and already after the next slope so was the facility itself. It was a straight line until there, and to Tali's relief the terrain offered no obstacles to them. However, as the fusion torch came closer, she expected enemy resistance to appear any minute now.

Instead, the woman they had heard before hailed the Mako: "You're headed in the right direction. I don't know who you are, but... but I'm... damnit! Got to go!"

"Still no word on the opposition we'll face," Garrus pointed out.

"Yeah, well," Shepard answered, "we... _Incoming_!"

Shepard had the Mako make a quick jump into the air. Everybody was nearly thrown out of their seats - but the Spectre had successfully dodged a missile that way. A missile turret had been stationed strategically cleverly behind a corner of a nearby rock. As soon as the vehicle hit the ground again, Shepard began to fire back. As soon as the turret was destroyed, the squad discovered that the entire area around the fusion torch's entrance was full of such defense measures.

"Appropriate," Shepard muttered.

"Huh?" Tali asked.

"Those are Alliance Navy models," Shepard explained with a grin. "Appropriate that I should now outright fight against Navy equipment."

It was a difficult but not really testing battle. The Mako was in the crossfire of several turrets. Shepard's maneuvers to dodge the missiles became ever more hectic - but they were successful, and the Mako's shields were strong enough to compensate the few times they were hit. The squad, however, was hurled around in the interior of the vehicle. Tali tried her best to keep an eye on the internal sensors of the Mako, to see how the vehicle was doing, but in between being whirled around and continued coughing this was a difficult task.

However, all in all it was not like this was the first time the squad had encountered missile turrets. They had won experience in dodging and fighting them. So, after some of them had been destroyed, the panicked reactions died down, and routine took over. In the end, they proved to be no real obstacle to their progress. After all turrets had been destroyed, the squad dismounted and entered the fusion torch.

Its interior of the fusion torch seemed to be standard architecture for small Alliance facilities in space - an entrance room, which they had just entered, and a larger room, in most cases a sort of cargo bay, behind it. There was nobody in the entrance room, so the squad now positioned itself to enter the room behind it.

Shepard opened the door - and eight eyes turned to them. But on only two people.

"Batarians!" the Spectre hissed.

One of them balked something that Tali's translator program had problems picking up. However, it was clear that it must have been a general attack order. The batarians had some tamed varren with them, which they now unleashed on the squad. It were at least half a dozen beasts that now came storming against them, while their batarian masters provided support fire.

The squad fell back into the entrance room. The varren came charging after them, all red eyes and salivating mouths full of sharp teeth. The squad shot as soon as the animals came around the corner, but it were just too many. One reached Tali and snapped after her. Its monstrous mouth missed her by only the smallest of distances. She pumped three shots of her weapon into it. The barrel ran hot in her hands, but it was enough to kill the beast.

She saw that most of the animals were concentrating on Shepard. The Spectre was defending himself against three of them. Furious, Tali ran towards them, and hit one with the butt of her shotgun. It winced and turned around. Tali managed to stave it off with a second hit of her gun, but the barrel was still too hot. She dropped the weapon, and in one smooth movement knelled down, causing the varren to aim too high, drew the knife from her boot, and slashed the animal's throat with it. Blood sprayed over her envirosuit.

She breathed out heavily, which provoked some more coughs, but no real fit of it anymore. Since she had set out on her pilgrimage, that was the first time she had used that knife in a combat situation. That was why she always had it sheathed in its compartment at her boot - as an emergency measure. However, a single knife would of course usually be a very desperate last measure. She could hardly believe her luck that using it had succeeded now.

"Tali - are you all right?" That was Shepard. He sounded worried.

Slowly, Tali rose. She picked up her shotgun again,and sheathed the knife again. "I am," she confirmed. The batarian beasts lay all on the ground, dead.

Shepard's face lit up, from worry to a grin. He looked at her appreciating and respectful, if also somewhat unsurely. "Nice work you did there. Never took you to be a knife fighter." And after a short pause: "Let's go get the batarians." There just was no time to say much more.

Shepard waved Liara to him. Together, they passed by the door to the cargo bay. The batarians fired some single, lost shots, but nothing hit. The squad positioned itself around the door - and charged. Wrex and Shepard stormed into the room, followed by Garrus and then by Liara and Tali. Immediately, they dispersed again and took cover behind the numerous crates of equipment standing around.

Shepard ordered Garrus to take a position on the catwalk overlooking the room, while the rest fought on between the crates. The batarians had made a mistake when they had not charged in right after their attack beasts. Now their surprise effect had been used up, and the squad could do its usual routine of picking them apart one by one.

Tali saw Liara and Shepard biotically pushing away enemies, blasting them with warps or raising them high into the sky. This time, the squad held a complete monopoly on biotic power. Tali still felt a little left out by this display of it, but she did what damage she could with her shotgun. Still, it was awe-inspiring to see so much dark energy released at once. She could almost understand why the Systems Alliance went to such lengths to uncover humanity's biotic potential. Not that she would ever tell Shepard so. And not that this would in any way justify what the Alliance had in fact done. Shepard was completely right in its absolute condemnation of it - that was the position to which she had come.

She knew that Shepard did not view his biotic powers as a blessing anymore, not anymore as something positive. He would use them if the situation called for it, now that he had them anyway, but after all he had discovered in recent months he ideally would prefer to not have them. If it was medically feasible, he would most likely have a weak L1 implanted once they would hit the market again and once the Reaper threat was gone. Watching him using his powers it was nearly unbelievable he would feel so - but then Tali reminded herself just what he had uncovered, and understood him completely. In her own case, technology and mechanics were both her talent and her call. She did not know what she would do if she had the aptitude for it, but not the passion - and that was Shepard's situation right now.

The fight was dying down. "Any left?" Shepard shouted up to Garrus.

"Just one, right behind Wrex..." the turian answered. "Ah, scratch that. None left." He paused. "The controls for the fusion torch appear to be up here."

"Right, we're coming," Shepard replied.

Predictably, work on the controls was Tali's job. As she began with it she realized that this was another thing their anonymous caller could have told them: The command codes for the torches. As it was, now the quarian had to find ways to override them - a difficult, but manageable task, which she had fulfilled after some minutes of labour.

"That's done," she announced, "it should..."

A voice appeared. Apparently, the fusion torches had an own communication system, and the woman they had spoken to before already could be heard: "I'm reading that the torch is offline. Was that you? Can you hear me?"

Most people in the squad reacted surprised, but Shepard had enough presence of mind to immediately answer: "I hear you. What's going on? Who are you?"

"My name is Kate Bowman," the woman introduced herself, "I'm an engineer. I was part of the team assigned to bring this asteroid to Terra Nova. We were attacked yesterday by batarian extremists. My brother and I have been hiding since they arrived. I think they know the torch went out."

"Do you know what they're planning?" Shepard asked.

"I don't," Kate answered, "But if this asteroid isn't slowed, millions of people on Terra Nova are going to die." A short pause. "They're near. I've got to go. Good luck!"

Shepard looked confused to Garrus, than Liara, than Tali. "Well, that wasn't very helpful," he said, "but good to know we have a sort of inside source at all."

_For __whatever __that__'__s __worth_. Tali followed the Spectre down to the ground level. Batarian corpses and equipment still lay around everywhere. Shepard looked at them grimly - full of hate. There was no other species so detested by humans as the batarians, and that for pretty good reasons. Plus, of course, these batarians here had tried to start a planetary holocaust.

As he reached the exit of the cargo bay, Shepard slowed down. Tali could not quite see what could be the reason, but she readied herself for another confrontation. However, Shepard muttered something to himself and straightened up again. He walked into the entrance room - and got shot.

Tali ran to his side, and saw a human. He was older, dark-skinned, with a nicely trimmed grey-white beard and he held a pistol in his hands. He looked awkwardly and embarrassed at the Spectre. "Oh.. Oh god..." the man stuttered, "I didn't mean to.. are you hurt?"

"Calm down. It's okay," Shepard reassured him. "My shields took care of it."

"Oh of course. Sorry," the man apologized. "I didn't even realize you were human until, well... Guess I'm not much of a soldier."

"Not everybody needs to be. Just tell me what happened here," Shepard prompted. "Who are you anyway?"

"Simon. Simon Atwell. I was the local chief engineer until... well. You've seen it. Ah, and who are you?" The man asked, "Not that it greatly matters, I know, I just..."

"Jonathan Shepard, Citadel Special Tactics and Reconnaissance"

"That Jonathan Shepard?" Atwell sounded disbelieving. "I heard you turned traitor for good... I mean, ah, it's just what was in the news..." Anger welled up in Tali. She remembered what Shepard had said: How people were more incensed about his revelation of crimes than the crimes himself. And besides that, the squad, under Shepard, had just started to save that man's own sorry ass!

"I'm a mutineer right now, yeah..." Shepard began.

"He's no traitor!" Tali cut in decisively... only to then regret her outburst. Awkwardly she looked around, and took a step back. To her embarrassment she saw Liara and Garrus grinning. Surprisingly, so did Atwell.

Shepard did, too, and turned back to the man in front of him: "Now do you want my help or not?"

"All right, all right. Sorry. It's just the whole situation..." Atwell apologized.

"You're scared, I know," Shepard finished the sentence for him. "But we're here to help you."

"Yeah, okay. But we don't have much time. The batarians fired up the fusion torches, you've got to shot them down before we hit Terra Nova," Atwell explained, "There are four million people down there, Shepard. I... my family. They live in Aronas. My kids and grandkids. Nice communities, good schools..."

"Goddamn blinks," Shepard cursed, again all righteous anger, "We should have kicked their asses already the very first time they did a slavery raid. We should immediately have declared war and gone on an all-out offensive. Goddamn blinks."

"I've heard all the stories," Atwell stated quietly. "Slavering, ranching people like animals. Pirate bands burning colonies to the ground. But this... this is... the Citadel Conventions forbid asteroid drops. I never thought the batarians would go this far."

"The batarians aren't stupid," Wrex stated matter-of-factly. "They can't make a policy out of this, or the Citadel would declare war on them."

"Yeah, true," Shepard agreed and turned to Atwell again: "But if you've really read all the stories... of what they did at Mindoir, on how they treat their slaves... why wouldn't they go that far? Exterminating four million people is not beyond them. They don't even see them as people, not really. If there is any race out in the galaxy who is truly evil, as a race, it's them."

"They wouldn't risk it," Wrex insisted, drawing from centuries of experience as mercenary. From all of the squad he probably saw the situation most objective. He was not as aggressive as other krogan, but he was very uncaring very often. "Not the government at least. These guys must be working on their own."

"Yeah. Just like the slavers technically operate on their own," Shepard pointed out. "It's still the Hegemony markets 'buying' their victims, though."

"We can worry about whom to blame later," Liara intervened, as always the voice of reason. "For now we must stop them."

"The lady speaks the truth," Atwell agreed. Tali noticed that for all his faults in having stupid prejudices about Shepard, he seemed to have no problems with aliens at all. That was a positive side at least. "You have to..."

" ...shut down those torches," Shepard cut him off. "I get that. Damn, why was no patrol here? Where the hell was the Alliance Navy?"

"I have no clue," Atwell answered, "I'm just glad you're here."

Atwell went on to tell them about the situation. He did not know how many batarians were on the asteroid, but figured that opposition numbers in the other torch stations would probably be as bad as here. He told them how he had heard the batarian was leader was one 'Balak' and how the other batarians mostly followed him out of fear. He also told them how the nearest torch station was surrounded by blast caps he had set up to excavate the area, and that the only control device to disable them was inside the blast zone - so the squad would have to dismount from the Mako and even on foot be very careful.

Tali brought up the possibility of _Normandy_ support, to have the ship shoot the blast caps away from the sky, but Shepard, usually a proponent of close ship support, was doubtful: While for now the fusion torches had to be disabled, they would be needed later to correct the asteroid's course, away from impact, so they could not risk damaging one of the stations.

Lastly, Atwell relayed his worries about an engineer crew he had working off-side when the batarians had attacked. Shepard told him about the death of Gregor Mendel, and about how the Bowman siblings got away. Atwell seemed very relieved about the latter; apparently he knew Kate well. He also accepted Shepard's decision that stopping the asteroid for now had higher priority than finding out what happened to his team.

"I'll try to be as quick as possible," Shepard assured him, "Maybe there's still hope for the crew, after we're done with the batarians. As for you, better stay out of sight as best you can. This facility is cleared for now, but the danger isn't over yet."

"Not until you get that Balak guy, yeah," Atwell agreed. "I'll disappear again; don't worry about me."

He headed off, for now into the interior of the station. The squad went outside and returned to the Mako. Nearing the second torch station, they picked up another transmission from Bowman, but it was lost in interferences.


	31. Ch30: Terra Nova II

X57 - a giant rock in space, twenty-two kilometres long, twice the size of the asteroid that had wiped out the dinosaurs on Earth and orbited by two smaller rocks and a red dust cloud. Originally set to be brought into an orbit around Terra Nova by using fusion torches, it was now on a straight impact course, as batarian extremists had taken over and reprogrammed the fusion torches. Such a huge asteroid, artificially accelerated, would kill the entire colony on Terra Nova, four million people, and for good measure practically wipe out the planetary ecosphere, too. Shepard was not about to let that happen. His squad had already disabled one torch, and now the Mako was nearing the second one.

In a way it was almost funny. Elysium, Eden Prime... and now, if Shepard could pull this off, Terra Nova. The three largest human colonies saved by him, if he managed to defeat the batarians. And if not, then he would perish on this asteroid anyway - he would either save the planet or die trying. However, at the moment Shepard could not quite appreciate the situation: With four million lives on the line he was too focused on the mission, too determined to save the colony.

Simon Atwell, the chief engineer of the operation, had warned them about blast caps around the second furch station. Originally he had set them up to excavate the area, but now they served as defence measure for the batarians. And as it turned out they were a problem indeed: Inevitably, the Alliance had "secured" the second fusion torch station with turrets, and inevitably the batarians had taken them over, too, just as with the first station - however, with the station's surroundings littered by mines, this made everything even more complicated. It meant the Mako had to enter a long range combat with them.

Shepard strained the Mako's agility to the last, but it was still hit several times. At his side, Tali was working hastily on the automated self-repair programs. Under her breath she cursed the weak Alliance decryption programs which had allowed the batarians to take over the turrets, and Shepard could only mentally agree - and hope that he was quicker in destroying the turrets than the turrets were in whittling down the armoured vehicle. When finally the last turret was eliminated, he breathed out in relief. Still, there was no doubt the Mako, even though it had been freshly stolen on Noveria, would need a general overhaul once this mission was over.

"I think those were all," Garrus announced needlessly.

"And now the fun part," Wrex said, "Storming a mined hill on foot under enemy fire."

Unfortunately, the krogan was all too right. The squad had to dismount as the Mako would set off the blast caps for sure. They had to reach the station by foot, and the batarians, expecting them to come, had already set up makeshift fortifications in front of the entrance. Thus the squad was greeted by a constant hail of enemy gunfire, while they tried to navigate their way through the blast caps. The _Normandy__'__s_ sensors fed the squad's suits with proximity signals for the mines, and that was the only way for the team to avoid the danger.

_Forward__, __forward__, __forward_. Shepard's shields were depleting and he had to constantly regard his suit's data about nearby blast caps, but his main thought was getting up the hill as fast as possible, to take the fight to the batarians there. He ran and sprinted and in the end jumped in front of one of those crates the four-eyed aliens used as makeshift barricades - and now being directly on the other side of such a crate Shepard could use it to the same end.

Once the squad had managed the way through the minefield, the batarians at the entrance were easily overwhelmed. Taken by the enthusiasm of the charge, Shepard stormed into the facility, followed by the squad. He encountered two more batarians in the entrance room and shot them down before they could react, and then charged into the facility's main room - only to come under fire from several sides. _Defence__ drones_. Yet another piece of Alliance equipment the batarians had taken over.

Something was absolutely not right at all if they could have taken over so much of the defence infrastructure intact. Fortunately it was a trick the squad could reproduce, as Tali could easily hack into the drones' security systems. Still, even with some of them turned a complex battle ensued.

However, eventually the enemy resistance was broken, and Tali could work on the controls of the fusion torch. Shepard could only watch as she unfolded her magic - this was definitely something going way beyond his skills and in many cases even beyond his simple understanding in these fields. However, what he did know was that so far Tali had managed to force her will upon every resisting piece of technology they had encountered - and this time it was no different: She managed to shut the torch down. Shepard nodded appreciating.

"Very good," he said. "The rest of you, too. Great fight. Especially given the circumstances." He added jokingly: "Well, if we ever need to fight the Alliance and their equipment, this should give us ample training". _Then __again__, __given __my__ strained __relations__ to __the __Alliance__, __maybe__ that__'__s__ not__ as __much__ a __joke __as __I__'__d __like__ it __to __be__. _

Before anybody from the squad could answer, Kate Bowman seemed to have picked up that the torch was down. She had been their guide so far - an engineer in hiding watching the batarian activities. The torches' comm system carried her voice to the squad: "Are you there? You've got to hurry. You've really pissed them off. Their leader's setting charges everywhere. I think he's going to blow this whole facility."

"Understood," Shepard answered, "I..."

He was cut off by a bellowing batarian voice carrying through the communication system: "Get away from there!"

"Don't shoot, please!" That was Kate. "No... hn... Aaron!"

It was clear Kate and her brother had been discovered. "Damnit," Shepard cursed. This was a catastrophe unfolding right in front of him.

"Ah! Umph..." A male human voice, Aaron probably. He seemed to be treated roughly by the batarians.

A new batarian voice could be heard: "Who's shutting down the torches?"

Kate did not answer. The batarian threatened: "He'll die." _He__'__s __blackmailing __her__. __With __his __life__. _And after a while, when Kate still did not answer "I won't ask you again."

_I__ can__'__t __let __this __happen__! _After all, it would not be important if Balak knew of him - he would come for the batarian anyway, and he even had a warship in orbit, giving him a heavy tactical advantage. He shouted into the communication system: "Wait! It's me. Jonathan Shepard. Council Spectre. Currently at the central torch station. Balak, I presume?"

"Hrm," the batarian confirmed his presence.

"I'm here, Balak," Shepard repeated himself. "That's what you wanted to know, isn't it?"

"And now I do," Balak just said - and shot. _No__!_

"No!" Kate cried.

"You bastard!" Shepard shouted incensed "You'll pay for that! I'm coming for you and I don't care if you know it or not. You can't stop me. I have a warship right above your ugly fucking head. You won't escape from this rock. I'll rip out each of your eyes before..." Shepard realized Balak had him cut off already. "God damnit!" Shepard cursed.

Without a further word he turned to return to the Mako. A cold rage built up in him as he drove the vehicle to the third torch station. He had known about the batarians, of course - who did not? They were slavers and raiders and pirates of the worst sort. They captured people to enslave them, and what they did to the slaves... it was pure horror. Recently, some slaves had been freed by the Alliance Navy, people who had been taken by batarian slavers on Mindoir. Their stories had circulated in the news and they were really more terrible than anything Shepard had heard before, or could even had only imagined.

Still, the batarians had always been a far away issue for him. He was an Earth boy - he had nothing really to do with the colonies, except for having visited some with the Alliance Navy. And the batarians pretty much were an issue of the colonies. Plus, in recent time he had been occupied with crimes much nearer to home - the Alliance's own crimes. Of course what the batarians did was far, far worse - but then, Shepard did not exactly consider 'being better than slavers and pirates' to be much of an achievement for a government, so that was a somewhat invalid comparison.

_I __have__ not __cared __about__ batarians __before__. __But __now__ I do__._ Them trying to kill four million people on his watch would of course do that. _And__ all of them on __this __rock__ will __die__. _Especially Balak - who had shot Aaron even when he had gotten the information he wanted. Shepard had been unable to save Aaron - so now instead he would make Balak pay.

Shepard knew all about rage and hatred. Both were emotions that inflicted him often enough. When he had left the streets of New York, he had thought he would now enter a better, safer, fairer world - but of course, this had not been the case. And every time he was reminded of this again, by the many injustices and cruelties of the galaxy, it let rage boil inside him. Unlike many others Shepard did not condemn those emotions or the principle of revenge per se. Quite often they were very much justified, after all. The old adage that 'an eye for an eye makes the world go blind' missed one thing: By the time 'an eye for an eye' would apply, half the population already was blind, victims of the other half. Revenge merely ensured that other half would not profit from their crimes.

Sometimes such feelings overwhelmed him, but at other times he could channel them, make them work for him. It was difficult to keep his anger from boiling over, but he managed to keep it down, to make it a mental focus for him - a mental sword to wield in the battle for the third fusion torch. In it he was aggressive, but not reckless, ruthless, but not bloody thirsty. The batarians had no chance. He let none of them escape. Every last of them Shepard could see died in the battle, and yet another main room of a torch station ended up littered with batarian corpses and with the electronic garbage of former defence drones. Shepard looked at the battlefield with distaste - not because of what he had done, but because this was only a battle won, not yet the war.

Tali worked on the station's controls to bring down the final fusion torch. _Now__ we __just __have__ to __get __Balak_. Content, he and the squad were walking down to the ground level of the station again when they heard a batarian voice: "Hold it right there. This doesn't have to end in bloodshed."

Shepard immediately stopped and raised his weapon. So did the rest of his squad.

"Who's there?" he demanded to know.

Three batarians came forth from behind a crate. Shepard's eyes narrowed. _What__ do __they__ want__?_ They had shouted that it did not need to end in bloodshed, but the Spectre did not even trust the batarians to have any word meaning 'peace' or 'truce'. He did not fire, as he was too curious what those batarians would have to say, but he remained watchful. He took some steps towards the trio.

"Don't come any closer," one of the batarians demanded, the same who had spoken before.

Shepard paid him no heed and came to a halt less than a meter in front of him. "What do you want, scum?"

"Listen, we can do this the hard way, or we can end it peacefully," the batarian offered.

Shepard had a feeling of deja vu: Somewhere he had already heard that voice. But he paid that no heed. "Look around you," the Spectre said and made a wide gesture spanning all the batarian corpses in the room. "I love the hard way."

"So I see. _Humans_," the batarian replied. His voice was a complete condemnation of the fact and of humans in general - something completely reversing all facts on the ground.

"Last time I checked it wasn't us who are trying to kill four million people," Shepard protested. And it dawned on him where he had heard the voice: It was one of the batarians who was with Balak when he had killed Aaron Bowman.

"Look," the batarian answered. "I'm just doing my job here. Hijacking this rock wasn't my idea. I signed on to make a little profit. A quick slave grab. Noth..."

_A__ quick __slave __grab__?_ Shepard immediately raised his right arm and let dark energy pulsate through it. A powerful biotic push lifted the batarian to the ceiling, and Shepard raised his weapon. _A __quick __slave __grab__? _That was not an excuse - that was a crime of the worst category, and he would not let these batarians get away with it.

The two batarians remaining on the ground were quickly gunned down. One of them had not even had the time to raise his own weapon, and what little shots the other one was able to fire were useless and repelled by Tali's shields.

When the leading batarian fell down to the ground again, Shepard quickly put a boot on his left arm, knelled down to suppress his chest with his knee and held his pistol to his head. Anger ran through him like hot lava. His voice trembled: "A quick slave grab? Your people treat them worse than animals, you fucking scum. I've seen survivors. I know what they tell. And you wanted to make profit off that?"

The batarian had struggled at first, but now simply looked at Shepard and breathed ragged. _He__'__s __in __fear_ Shepard realized. That was good. A small taste perhaps of what slaves had to suffer under batarians. Entire lives in agony. _Death__ is __too__ good__ for __the __likes __of __him__. _He knew a bit about batarian superstitions, like the belief that if all their eyes were blinded their soul could not escape the body upon death and would whither away with it.

His thoughts wandered to Tali's combat knife and he trembled a bit. _I __could __do __it__... _He breathed heavily. "You utter scum," he hissed at the batarian. "I should... I should..." However, even he was repelled by thoughts of such savagery. "I should..." In a quick and hasty move, he stood up and aimed the pistol anew at the batarian. "Fuck it!" He felt this was the only way to keep himself from doing such butchery - to make a quick end for the batarian.

However, somebody spoke up calmly: "No, Jon." _Tali__. _Shepard's head turned around. The quarian walked towards him, and laid a hand on his right arm, the one holding the gun. "Make him your prisoner. That's what you _should _do."

Shepard understood. She had said 'should', but what she had been talking about was not giving orders to him or anything like that. That's not what the 'should' had meant. What she meant were his own damn ideals. _Uphold __the __law__, __don__'__t__ be__ the __law_ - had he not said this himself to Garrus when he had come aboard, and again when they had hunted down Saleon? That batarian deserved death. That was his strong opinion - but it was not for him to decide.

"You're damn lucky, squint," he finally grunted to the batarian. "Damn lucky that we're better than your kind." He turned to the squad. "Garrus, secure him. We're leaving him bound here to be picked up, later." He trusted the turian had equipment from his time at C-Sec with him. He usually did. He himself simply walked off.

Tali followed him, and whispered: "I knew you wanted to be better than that." And she was completely right. He had started into this job with such high ideals, after all. Ideals to never abuse his power, to never become a law unto himself, to always do the right thing. He thought that overall he mostly still did the latter, still mostly did the right thing, but that seemed to be fed more by righteous anger rather than ideals. However, Tali was right: Even though he often did succumb to rage, and much as he condoned the notion of righteous anger, he nonetheless wanted to have those ideals, wanted to be 'good'. _To__ be __better __than__ lowly__ street __rabble__. _Even if the rest of the worlds was often not much better, _he_ had risen above this now - or at least he _should_ have.

"Thank you," he whispered back. _Telling __how __much __she __knows __me __already__. _

She simply padded him on the arm in response. Garrus had secured the batarian - one "Charn" according to his belongings. Garrus had also found a key card to the asteroid's main facility among said belongings. That facility had been occupied by the batarians and was where Balak was - and now the squad could access to it. Thus they now returned to the Mako. It was time for the final confrontation.

The main facility was a surprisingly large complex of several buildings. Shepard had seen smaller outposts that were the entire settlement of entire garden worlds. X57's two 'moons', small asteroid splinters orbiting their big brother, were hanging right above the facility. It looked like somebody had fixed them in the air, only some hundred meters above the surface. They were surrounded by a red dust cloud, like them held by X57's gravity, small as it was. And behind that all - Terra Nova. It was a spectacular view.

The facility consisted of a main building, three silos and several odd cylinders around it. Shepard slowed the Mako down. _Those __aren__'__t__... _They were. The cylinders opened and revealed yet more missile turrets. _Damnit__! __Heavy__ Armoured__ Turrets__! _He did not think the Mako's gun could seriously hurt their armour, so the only time when he could shoot back was when the cylinders were opened and the turrets were firing.

_Somebody__ pumped __a __lot __of __money __into __the __asteroid__'__s__ defence__. __And__ yet __the __batarians __have__ simply__ taken __it __all__ over__ intactly__! __What __the__ hell__! _

However, no batarian was outside to "support" the turrets. _They__ seem __to __have __holed __themselves __up __in __there__. _Not that he could blame them - after losing all three torch stations, playing turtle was pretty much the only thing left to do for them. However, it meant he was able to shoot down all turrets without problems.

The interior of the facility was designed quite nicely. It was clear that X57 had been planned as a longterm project, and that hence some amenities had to be offered to the workers on it. As the squad walked up a staircase, they could see a large area behind it - a two-level plaza of sorts, with trees growing up from the bottom level, and with several more plants placed everywhere. It looked like a recreational area - but but recreation was unfortunately not yet possible for Shepard: The place was swarming with batarians and defence drones.

The squad holed itself up in the entrance to the plaza, a small tunnel of sorts. Shepard knelled down and began to shoot. He regretted now that he had not brought Ashley along - as it was, Garrus was their only sniper. The rest had to make do with pistols to cross the long distances to the enemy. However, that was enough: Several batarians tried to storm their position. The squad fell back, drawing them into the tunnel - and overwhelming them there with superior firepower.

"Go go go go!" Shepard ordered. As the last batarian in the entrance tunnel fell down, now was the time for the counterstrike. The squad stormed forwards, and took up a new position at the railing to the bottom level. Defence drones circled at the far side of the room. Their suppressive fire had the squad pinned down behind their cover, while more batarians came running for them. The squad holed up in its position and simply defended itself against any assaults as could as they could. As the enemy came from all sides, they soon stood or knelled back to back, to cover all ground.

"Funny," Wrex observed, unmoved as ever, "they're hurling to death on this asteroid right alongside us."

"I fail to see the humour in our shared demise," Tali answered annoyed. However, she was more concentrated on aiming and shooting than on the conversation, such as it was.

"Relax, we still have several hours," Wrex replied. Shepard wondered if _anything_ besides the genophage and the rachni could ever truly upset the krogan. He seemed to be perpetually calm and detached.

"And with the rate Garrus is shooting down those drones we'll be free in no time at all," the Spectre added. It was true: The turian used his sniper rifle to shoot down one drone after the next, and without their suppressive fire the squad would be able to go onto the offensive again. Garrus was so concentrated on the task that he did not even seem to hear the Spectre's compliment.

"Optimism, a warrior's most important skill," Liara muttered while sending a biotic warp against a batarian rushing to their position. Shepard grinned. The asari even had a point: Morale was important in battle - and it still seemed to be high. The _Normandy _had taken heavy losses back on Virmire, but overall it had run from success to success. There was hence little reason for the squad to doubt that this mission would end in victory, too.

"I think I got them all, Com... Jon," Garrus announced calmly after a while.

Shepard nodded. "There's a remaining concentration of enemy troops on the other side of the room. We'll charge at my command." He waited for everybody to nod or state acknowledgement. "Go!" he shouted.

The squad ran forwards, in its usual formation, with Wrex and Shepard at the front. A final battle erupted. The batarians had positioned themselves at the top of a staircase leading downwards, a strategically well considered place as it was surrounded by several plant boxes and railings. The squad pushed forwards, but took a lot of punishment. Shepard saw Liara, who had closed up to the front, fall down besides him. Bullets had hit her in the chest - her shields had already faltered. Immediately, Tali knelt down besides her and began to apply medi-gel. Shepard, Wrex and Garrus were absolutely enough to end the battle.

"Did we get everybody?" Shepard asked after a while and looked around suspiciously. There was no enemy fire anymore, but the layout of the area offered places for ridiculously many hiding spots.

Wrex simply answered: "We have no more idea than you do."

Shepard nodded and waved the two to him. Liara, supported by Tali, also followed - it was probably unwise to have the squad split and to leave the vulnerable parts behind. Liara leaned heavily on the quarian, and seemed to be in great pain, but could move again. The medi-gel seemed to do its work. The Spectre looked relieved at that, and then went down the stair case, to see whether more batarians were on the bottom level.

However, just as he had walked down all the stairs, a voice appeared from behind him, from up the stairs: "Stop right there. Or your friends will all going to die!"

Shepard whirled around, gun in hand.

"I wouldn't do that," the voice said. It came from behind a plant box. "I have hostages." A group of batarians stepped forth from behind the plant. The speaker was a green-skinned one with extra-prominent cheek bulges, and he held a small remote control device in his hands. Shepard recognized the voice: Balak. "Shoot, and I'll detonate these charges". He pointed to a room at the other side of the plaza. "Your little helper and more of her ilk are there. Would you risk their death?"

_Kate__! _Shepard clenched his teeth. "You bastard..." he muttered under his breath. Than he breathed out. _A__ hostage __situation__. __Ugly__. __Very __batarian__. _Somehow he doubted Balak would care about his own kind at all, if the situation was reversed, but that did not matter. He, Shepard, did care."You can't get away, Balak. There's a warship in orbit. It's the fastest warship in the galaxy, too, with the best pilot of the Alliance Navy. You're done. Be peaceful and you might survive to be brought before the Council."

"I don't answer to the Council, or to you!" Balak answered angrily. "I'm leaving this asteroid, and if you try to stop me, all those humans will die. Surely, the oh so grand 'Hero of Elysium' couldn't allow that."

"Hah," Shepard laughed dismissively. His brain was working feverishly on a solution. He needed to negotiate now, if only to win time. "I let you go, you'll detonate those charges anyway. Why should I trust you?"

Balak held up the device in his hand. "This remote control device only has a limited range - which still is several AUs," he explained. "If I detonate those charges, your ship will still be near enough to shoot me down. If your ship let me leave, my control device will eventually be out of range."

"Clever," Wrex commented. As mostly always, he had little stake in the outcome of the mission, and hence could admire Balak's craftiness. Shepard was slightly annoyed with him. Shepard was annoyed with the _whole __situation_. He had come to _kill_ Balak - but now the batarian held several lives in his hands.

"He speaks the truth, Jon," Tali reported. "I can't take over the device, but I could analyse its function. It's just as he said - a range of some AU, but not more."

"Your pet quarian tried to hack me? Hah," Balak laughed. "You're a failure like your entire race, quarian. The humans, they're stronger. And they've use that to invade our space - take worlds that would have been ours, resources that should have been ours!"

"Cut it, Balak," Shepard hissed. "Nobody wants to hear you preach. Not even your own people. Charn even tried to sell you out. You're all alone. Give up." _Roll__ over __and __die__!_

"Give up? To a human? Never!" Balak exclaimed. "We've been forced into exile, forced to survive on what we can scrounge up. All because of your kind. It's been like that for decades."

Even more anger boiled up inside Shepard. _I__ can__'__t __let __it __go __free__, __I __can__'__t__ risk__ the __hostages__... _But an angry response was pouring forth from his mouth: "You slavering _scum_ deserves _far __worse_ than having to face some honest competition in the Verge. Your raids, your piracy - we should have bombed you all to oblivion decades back! Fuck, you're a slave trader and yet you want to be the victim? Fuck you! I'll... " He breathed out several times. _I__ can__'__t __risk__ the__ hostages__' __lives__. _But he was so unused to just swallowing his anger.

"You what? Shoot me? Hardly," Balak mocked. "And I really should have known better than to expect a human to understand. You couldn't... actually you and your kind just don't want to understand. And I'm done wasting my breath."

"And there was much rejoicing..." Shepard muttered sarcastically.

"Hrm," Balak made and again held up his control device. "So, will you let me go?"

"You goddamn bastard..." Shepard muttered again. Negotiations were clearly at an end, and it looked like Balak had the upper hand. That was just a plain fact and yet - he so dearly wanted to kill him, wanted to rip him apart, wanted to stab all his eyes out. Balak was a slaver, he was an attempted millionfold mass murderer, and he had shot Aaron Bowman. Everything inside Shepard was screaming for revenge.

However - there _were_ the hostages. Shepard hesitated. He could not just sacrifice them. He thought of Tisiphone. She had even named herself after one of the Ancient Greek Furies, after a goddess of revenge - and yet she put the welfare of her people above her revenge. She was not willing to sacrifice them for the sake of it. _That__'__s __something__ the __Alliance __would__ do__. _He had no doubt about that. The Alliance would spew some bullshit about the security of human space or whatever, and then take its revenge, the hostages be damned. The Alliance cared more about appearing strong than about human lives after all. That was what the Alliance was all about.

_And__ I__'__m __not __like __the __Alliance__. __I__'__m__ not _in _the __Alliance __anymore__, __either__. _That gave Shepard a sense of perspective, an identity. He would not be like the Alliance. He would be better than them. Or as he had told Tali - yes, the universe was uncaring, so caring was up to _them._ He certainly was nobody who thought ill of revenge per se, but not at the cost of other people's, _other_ people's lives. And as for Balak - letting him go was no security risk, not really. True, he could come back and attack another colony. But if not him, another batarian could also do so and take his place. Balak was not so special as to warrant several human lives - and Shepard's revenge was not as valuable as a single human life.

"Well," he said finally with a forced calmness he did not feel, drawing out the word, "I'd congratulate you to your victory, but it's not like you had any. You can save your worthless life, that's all. And be assured the _Normandy _is watching you."

"They can watch impotently as I'll slip away," Balak mocked. "Oh, and one more thing: You'll never find all my surveillance gear in this facility on time - and if I catch you trying to free the hostages before I'm gone... _boom_." And with that he turned and went, followed by his lackeys.

While they were leaving, Shepard maintained a posture of defiant strength. But after they had left his shoulders, his entire stature, just slumped down. All strength, real or played, slipped out from him. He had saved Terra Nova, yes - but it still felt like a defeat. All emotions left him, leaving behind just a vague numbness. He looked around. His squad seemed to be more upbeat. They seemed to value their victory more than the small defeat at the end. Only Tali - well, he would not be able to see her grinning anyway, but she stood quiet and watched him. _Concerned_, Shepard realized, touched. And not without reason.

"Goddamn," he muttered.

Tali walked up to him. "You did the right thing," she said soothingly. "Again."

"I know," Shepard answered. "But I can't feel it."

"And that's important for you," Tali said, "I know." She took his hands into hers. Seeing as Shepard was in full armour, his hands were indeed probably the only part of him receptive to touch at the moment.

"Well. We did it," Shepard stated. "We saved this world. Four million people. What the hell is Balak compared to that?" But he sounded unconvinced and unenthusiastic - he indeed just could not _feel_ it

"Come," Tali just said. She held his hand, and led him to a nearby bench - after all, this area was originally supposed to be for recreational purposes. They sat down exhausted and leaned against each other.

After a while of content silence, Shepard commented: "This _is_ a nice way to end missions." He could get used to it.

Mischievously, Tali whispered: "Too bad they have no clean rooms here."

Shepard's head spun around, and then he laughed, freely and honestly. It was liberating. He sighed. "Thanks, Tali. Again."

"I think you told me once not to thank you," Tali said. "And I've told you often enough I'll be there for you when you need me. So don't thank me."

A wave of emotional washed over Shepard. A gratitude to Tali, a feeling of closeness to her - an emotion of _love__. _He smiled softly. There was also an undertone of melancholy to it: _What __will __I __do__ once __she'__s __gone__? _And that would happen, eventually. And the nearer they came Saren, the sooner it would happen. For the moment, though, he just sat besides her in content silence and in soothing closeness. He let all the disappointment about Balak's escape and all the tension of the mission fall off from him. Balak was gone now yes - but he thought he could come to live with that. After all, he _had _saved Terra Nova.

_Actually__, __that__'__s __a __funny__ thought__... _"Hah," he laughed, "Now that the world is saved..."

"Hm?" Tali made.

"I mean, it's obviously not as important as a world of four million people being saved, not at all," Shepard said, "but - this is the largest colony of the Alliance, and it took a ship of damn mutineers to save it. That's not something they can hush up. It shows their own incompetence, _and_ they can't portray us as villains anymore..." Tali threw her head slightly into her neck. Shepard knew what it meant - it was akin to eye rolling. Maybe she even did just that behind her helmet's mask. He grinned. "Heh, I know, I know. It's just, now that the world _is _saved, why not think about it..."

"If it makes you feel better," Tali said, and it sounded only half ironic - and half serious.

Before Shepard could answer, though, he head Garrus shouting: "Somebody's there." Immediately, Shepard and Tali jumped up from their bench and reached for their weapons.

They looked around - and saw Simon Atwell approaching them. "Hey, sorry, it's me," the asteroid's chief engineer said.

"Atwell!" Shepard exclaimed, still somewhat angry from the shock, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I... There might have been something I could have done. to help," Atwell explained. "I thought I should be here. I know this asteroid better than anyone."

"Right," Shepard answered and calmed down. It was a reasonable enough explanation. "Well, engineer teams from the _Normandy_ stand ready to change the course of the fusion torches and reactivate them."

"And not too late," Atwell explained. "It's still hurling towards the planet. If you hadn't been here... I've ran the number. It would have hit near the capital. The most densely populated region. But this won't happen now. Thanks to you."

"Yeah, well," Shepard answered. He had no problem with praise, but he did not want to be too vain, either. "I hardly could have done nothing. And after the engineers have arrived, we'll go free Bowman. We still have to wait on that damn terrorist, though."

Something made click in Atwell's mind - that was visibly clear on his face. "Wait, that's what happened? You let him go to save them? Is that - will you get into trouble for that? Even more? I mean he could do the same thing elsewhere, couldn't he?"

"So I should have let him blow up your friends?" Shepard asked angrily. He was angry enough that Balak had escaped - he did not need to have that rubbed in by somebody like Atwell, who by all rights should instead have been _happy_ that Kate Bowman had survived. "Is that it?"

"What?" Atwell asked surprised. "No, I..."

"Balak is nothing special," Shepard cut him off. "He would've just been replaced by the next thug. All I could get would've been blind revenge - but not at the cost of those people. Nobody dies on my watch. I won't sacrifice people for revenge, and I won't sacrifice _real _people for some _hypothetical_ bullshit that could happen in the future." He grimaced. "That's what the Alliance would do."

"Easy there, son." Atwell said very calmly. Shepard did not quite like the address, but remained silent. The Chief Engineer seemed to honestly wait for him to calm down, and then continued: "I don't know about the Alliance, but anyone asks me, you did the right thing. They say otherwise, I'll set them straight." He paused. "Shepard - thank you. For my grandchildren's lives. You saved them, saved the entire planet. Just you and your team. Yeah, you were right, that's something the Alliance Navy should have done with all its resources." He shook his head. "I'll see if I can give some instructions to those engineers of yours. That's something I can do, at least."

Shepard nodded, and Atwell walked off. The Spectre occupied himself in the following hours with directing the _Normandy__'__s_ engineer crew's efforts and communicating with Terra Nova. The planetary authorities were in something of a bind - legally, they were obliged to arrest the ship's crew as mutineers. However, they hardly could do that now that the crew had just saved them all. It became clear during communications that there were some who still, despite that, called for their arrest. However, in the recent hours Terra Nova had been in panic - the approach of X57 had been published to start at least small-time evacuations. Hence, the planetary population had been _sure_ doom would come - but now it did not, thanks to Shepard. So in the end there was just no way _at__ all_ that his crew could be arrested. In fact, it was clear they would become heroes, mutineers or not.

Finally, the _Normandy_ reported that Balak was outside their sensors. Kate Bowman could finally be freed. Tali hacked the door open to the makeshift prison of her and the other hostages. Half a dozen people stormed to Shepard, glad to be finally free. They thanked him enthusiastically - but then immediately afterwards all ran into freedom. Shepard could hardly fault them. Only one person had stayed back the entire time, an attractive woman with short blond hair. Kate Bowman, according to a picture Atwell had sent to the Spectre. As the room emptied, she approached him.

Her eyes widened. "You're Shepard, aren't you? The Spectre. You've been in all newsfeeds for days."

"Yeah," Shepard just confirmed, unsure what else to say.

"I couldn't believe you let Balak go...to save us," Kate continued. She sounded very melancholic. "I half expected you to just let us die. Sacrifice the few for the many. But then, I didn't know who you were..."

_Ah__. __My __reputation __precedes __me__._ It was a charming thought that he was known like that. It certainly was how he would like to be known. "Thanks," he said. "Yes, I wouldn't sacrifice people, other people, for some abstract goals. It's just wrong."

"Huh. You sound like my brother," Kate stated. "He admired you. And like you, he was always so stubborn. - and always willing to do the right thing, no matter what." In the end her voice sounded like it might crack.

Shepard looked down. "I'm sorry. I... I _tried_ to save him, but Balak..." _I __failed __Aaron__. And__ his __sister__._

"You did what you could. It's not your fault," Kate protested. "You even risked your own position for his sake. At least... Aaron died in a place he loved. He was the one who convinced me to join the team here. Said it would be an adventure."

"Hell," Shepard cursed, "What did the batarians even try to accomplish here?"

"I don't even think they knew," Kate answered. "When they first arrived, they were talking about getting us back to their ships. They wanted to sell us as slaves. When Balak showed up, everything changed. It was his idea to redirect the asteroid. Said it was the will of the batarian rebellion. Whatever that is. They followed him quickly enough, but I... I don't know. I don't think they were all as fanatical as he was."

"They were still slavers," Shepard pointed out decisively. He sighed. "You did a brave thing, Ms Bowman. Contacting me on the radio, risking your life."

"'Stubborn and determined' runs in the family," Kate said. She sounded so very sad. "My father was in the Alliance, back on Earth. If he knew how Aaron supported you... but I think he'd still have been proud of him." She sounded so very sad. "And Aaron would have just loved this. The Alliance tries to condemn you at every turn and then you turn up and save their biggest colony when they couldn't. He really would have loved it." Shepard did not quite know what to say about that. "I... I really should see to him," Kate continued, and now her voice was indeed breaking. "Aaron, I mean. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but..."

"Of course not," Shepard reassured her. "Take care, Ms Bowman, and I hope you get to see a better future here."

"If so, it will be thanks to you, Com... Shepard," the engineer said, and left.

Shepard watched her go. He felt sorry for her. However, his thoughts also wandered to what she had said. She had a point: While it was far more important that four million people had been saved , he had made a fool out of the Alliance in doing so. _This__ is __going __to __be __interesting__... _


	32. Interlude II: Shepard's Speech

**A further irregular chapter. It only consists of one huge speech by Shepard, and since I did not want to take this over an entire chapter, it's now here as an interlude. If you want, you can completely skip this only knowing that Shepard is holding quite a rousing anti-Alliance speech after his victory on X57, pointing out in detail just what is wrong the Alliance. It will find great resonance. **

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Shepard's hand stroked over his sleeve. He was thoroughly unused to the clothing he was currently wearing. It was all too official and stiff. However, he could not just appear at a public event in his colonist leather outfit, and he most certainly could not appear in a uniform. He was resolved in general to never wear the uniform again, and it would be very inappropriate for what he was about to say in particular.

Scott, the capital of Terra Nova, was a surprisingly modern city for a colony world, complete with busy streets, high-rising skyscrapers and all necessary infrastructure. Asgard, Terra Nova's sun, shined high above the city as thousands of people assembled within the city's central square. Tens of thousands more spread out into the streets behind it. Dozens of camera drones buzzed through the air. They all waited for Shepard - the new hero of Terra Nova.

It was inevitable: Since he had saved the world, he would get to hold a speech, mutineer or not. Nobody on the planet would dare to actually enforce the Alliance's arrest warrants on the Normandy crew - not after that crew had just saved them all from an otherwise inescapable doom. This also meant they could not just ignore Shepard. They had to give him time for a speech. And Shepard was prepared to give them a speech they would remember for the rest of their lives, as well as something for the media to write about.

Stopping Saren was more important than speeches of course, but Shepard was still forced to wait on others before he could resume travel to Ilos. Terra Nova was grateful enough to provide the Normandy with as many basic supplies as necessary, if not more, and a hospital on the planet was nursing Liara back to full strength. However, for special military supplies, Shepard still had to wait on Admiral Hackett.

The Spectre had already sent battle logs of the fight on X57 to his usual contacts in the asari media. The asari journalists were delighted with the steady stream of new material coming from him. Some within the Alliance would call even that a form of treason, that it was specifically the asari media Shepard always turned to. However, Shepard did not care about such sentiments; there certainly was no getting the truth through the local media channels in the Alliance. Too many of them were owned by large corporations who had an interest in keeping him quiet. As it was, his asari contacts were now even talking of establishing a channel exclusively for human affairs intended for human consummation. In general, all channels of the extranet were available everywhere, and due to translation programs also understandable everywhere. However, usually there just was no reason for a human to watch salarian, asari or turian news channel, since they would report salarian, asari and turian news respectively. However, a channel ran by asari media dedicated to human affairs could break the media monopoly of humanity's native corporations. It was definitely a hopeful prospect for the future.

Right now, Shepard stood on a raised podium, and wore one of the strongest shield generators on the market. There were an unbelievably large amount of people out there who wanted to see him dead, and anybody could hide in such a large crowd. Besides, what he had to say could convince some people that maybe he needed to be silenced. Behind him stood a giant 2d screen which would show his face (and some other scenes for rhetoric effect) to the entire crowd. It was ran by the few members of the Normandy crew supportive of what Shepard had done. This way he ensured that nobody would temper with the vid stream. Flags stood right and left of the screen: One of Terra Nova colony and one showing the insignia of the Spectres (and Shepard wondered where that flag had been procured from), but notably none of the Alliance.

The audience was clapping and cheering. Shepard walked to his podium, breathed out and began:

"Thank you, thank you..." he told the people and waited for them to quiet down. "Honourable people of Terra Nova, esteemed viewers in the Alliance and the wider galaxy - I don't think I should be standing here. I don't say this as a show of modesty, I have precious little of that." He said so with a cocky grin, and the people laughed. "But normally, this should have been a simple job for the Alliance Navy. A single frigate was enough to prevent the eradication of four million people, and the Alliance has hundreds of them. Terra Nova is their largest colony, housing that many people, and controlling four percent of the galactic platinum market. Yet where was the Alliance Navy? Instead, mutineers had to arrive to save the day!

Now first things first: Yes, we are mutineers. _I_ am a mutineer, and many consider me a traitor. I have thrown my Star of Terra to the feet of Ambassador Udina on the Citadel, and have been dishonourably suspended from the Alliance Navy. Coming from them, I wear that as a batch of honour. I have uncovered their dirty little secrets, have published their crimes, tried to do justice.

If you still hate me for what I've done, then I can live with that - but it saddens me that so much of humanity is rather appalled at the revelation of crimes than at the crimes themselves. Why is that? I cannot, not at all, wrap my mind around such a logic. Surely, if people say they want a strong humanity, they will look how to make it a just humanity, will look for errors to correct, will look to truly make humanity great? That is what I do, and for that the Alliance considers me a traitor. How can people say I wish harm upon humanity if what I'm doing is _helping_ humans?"

There were shouts from the audience. Some people apparently disagreed with him - very much so.

However, Shepard quietened them down: "But that... please people, that is not the point here. What _is_ the point is that it _did _take a bunch of mutineers randomly stumbling over the system to avoid four million deaths. So again, where was the Alliance Navy I ask you? Yes, the big disaster was avoided in the end, but we cannot just ignore this fact. Because it's not mere incompetence on the part of the Alliance; that would be tragic, but understandable. We're all humans, we all make mistakes, and sometimes with horrifying consequences. However, it's systematic!

I don't think I or my crew are particularly heroic. Any single of the hundreds of Alliance Navy ships in service could have stopped the batarians. However, none was here, not even at their single largest colony. Not due to some oversight, not due some scheduling error or mistake in the deployment plan. No, the reason you all would nearly have been killed is because the Alliance Navy is too busy protecting the grand _human expansion_ out in the Attican Traverse and Skyllian Verge.

Oh isn't it great? Humanity controlling hundreds of planets out there! A vast stretch of space, surely a sixth or eight of the known galaxy, and that in a matters of mere decades! Surely the Alliance can rightfully consider itself a great power!"

Shepard paused. There was some confusion in the crowd. His voice had been ironic, but his words had sounded like straight praise for the Alliance – something entirely unfitting to his past actions and to the speech so far.

"Or can it, after it wasn't even able to protect its single largest colony?

What does 'human expansion' even mean? It means on most of those hundreds worlds there is just a single small village, consisting entirely of shoddy prefabs, with no infrastructure to speak of: No streets, no running water, only spotty electricity. The people there have to work against alien biospheres and hence need to labour all year just to farm enough to eat. Proper healthcare is a dream out there, and do you think the children will get proper education? No, it's generally accepted that they'll go through life with insufficient chances at it! And yet, we don't speak about some developing country on Earth which is hampered by problems ingrained throughout generations. No, we speak of something the Alliance chose to build up that way from scratch!

And living impoverished lives is even the best scenario for the people in those container villages. After all, this is not the only place threatened by batarians. Last year, three hundred forty eight people were taken away by them. The year before, three hundred thirty seven, and the year before that, three hundred thirty one. And you and me, we all know what this means. Three hundred forty eight people is a mere statistic - it hides the true horror behind it. The horrors batarians subject their victims to... I could talk for hours describing them. How animals are treated better, how slaves perish by the hundreds in mines, how pain is their constant companion. And yet this happens to hundreds more people every year.

Think about this ongoing, constant tragedy! Think about what it means! Already the Alliance cannot defend all its one-village worlds out there. Already they cannot defend even their largest colony. And yet they go on 'expanding'. This is what this grand term 'human expansion' means. This is the shabby truth behind it.

And it's not like those colonies serve any purpose. If 'colony' can be used to describe some prefabs slapped on a single location on a planet, anyway. We have hundreds of worlds like that. Hundreds of worlds which have less than 5,000 inhabitants. Do you really think such worlds have any economical return? All they do is make the people on them impoverished and the Navy overextended. There is no economical or strategical value to the vast majority of them. How could there be, as most of them consist of a single village each?

The only ones profiting from them are the batarians.

And it's also not like there aren't alternatives. I've seen this world of yours, Terra Nova. Our largest colony, and yet even here most of the world is still wilderness, untamed and full of potential. Your world has a great future ahead of it; now more so than ever. Humanity can fulfill its destiny in the stars on places like this. However, does this destiny really command us to overextend ourselves? Does it lie in Attican Epsilon, thousands of light years away? Do we really _need_ to have a single little village on every damn world we encounter?

We could organically expand at places like here, gradually extend the already existing infrastructure into the 99% of the planet which are still virgin and unspoiled. People could settle there, at much better places than out there in the galaxy, with already existing infrastructure and under proper Navy protection.

So the question is: Why don't we? I mean, what I've said here isn't exactly the revelation of big mysteries. All I said is just public knowledge; facts the Alliance knows as much as I do. And this... **this**" Shepard's fist slammed on the table, to awaken everybody to this part of the speech and to stress its importance, "is really the crux of the issue: Despite all I've said, the Alliance has not made mistakes. Oh no, the Alliance has always known what its policies would result in. And in fact, they go further on to 'promote human expansion'. All I said is _acceptable _to them.

Because, different to what I've just said, there actually _is _a purpose to all those idiotic mini colonies, to all those container villages that are constantly preyed on by batarians. There _is_ a resource to be won there, there _is _a demand to be fulfilled by them. And that demand is the Alliance's vanity. You would nearly have all been killed on account of the Alliance's vanity."

There was unrest in the audience. Shepard had come to a radical conclusion, so of course some people were unhappy with it.

"Please!" he shouted over the tumult. "What other purpose could there be to hundreds of worlds that each just have a single village on them? There is no economical use to them, no military use to them, hardly any scientific use to them. And the Alliance knows that. Our government isn't collectively stupid. They aren't making mistakes, they're just incredible vain. They know the one thing those mini-colonies are good for: Bragging rights. All the space those colonies control, at least legally, makes the Alliance appear like a great power. If that means you people have to go unprotected, hey, so be it!

I had to deal with some of our political leaders, and I tell you their ego is their main concern. They find it mightily inconvenient how they are not on top of the galactic food chain. They're narcissist enough to consider that an insult to themselves. And so they'll do everything to appear as representing a great power. Thousands of people impoverished? Hundreds lost to batarians every year? Hundreds nearly 'purged' on Feros? What is that to them?

Why do you think the Alliance has endured all provocations, all insults, all _aggressions _by the batarians? Thirty years of dealing with batarian slave raids, tens of thousands of humans lost, and most of them are openly sold in the Hegemony. I tell you, even now, even after four million people nearly died, the Alliance will not do a damn thing; mark my words! The Alliance fears to treat on the toes of a rogue state outside the Citadel, a state where human slaves are openly sold. Because after all, that might tarnish their precious reputation. Preoccupied with actually defending humanity, the Alliance could not focus on power-mongering, on setting up even more dirt poor, indefensible mini-colonies. So rather, they let hundreds of human slaves perish in atrocious conditions on batarian worlds.

In their quest for 'human expansion', that is in their greedy and vain endeavour to appear as a great power, the Alliance would do almost everything. Just consider the corporate colonies. Corporate colonies! A normality to us by now, but come on, think about it! The Alliance not even allows, but actively encourages the establishment of places which are for all practical purposes corporate dictatorships. Where the settlers, the employees, are subject to every whim of the corporations. On Feros that went as far as letting hundreds of them be painfully enslaved by an alien plant mind! And then, when ExoGeni's crimes were about to be revealed, they tried to 'purge' the evidence."

The screen behind Shepard show a vid of several Feros colonists. Shepard pointed to it: "This is not evidence, these are _people!_"

Another of Garrus' records from Feros appeared on the screen. It showed Jeong saying: "Nobody is going to miss a few hundred colonists."

Shepard spoke again: "And _that_ is what the Alliance tried to cover up. A planned massacre of hundreds of people! As long as ExoGeni appeared vital to 'human expansion', the Alliance would have done anything for them, and the people on their colonies be damned!

Is it not the core mandate of governments, their entire purpose, to protect their people?"

Shepard listed some of the corporate scandals of the recent years: "The Lagos Incident. The Derrier Case. NeuroProm. The Ivanov Files. Feros. That's the sad reality of human society. And instead of doing something about that, the Alliance only cares for the power these corporations provide.

So you see, we don't talk about Alliance _mistakes. _We talk about Alliance crimes, Alliance callousness and Alliance vanity here. And if that wasn't bad enough... hah, it gets only worse and worse. Because it isn't just corporations. Cerberus is a terrorist organization that stared out as an Alliance 'black ops unit'. Which of course is a nice euphemism for 'state terrorism unit'. The Alliance felt the need to have a state terrorism unit. No wonder that unit eventually killed off an entire settlement. In the name of human power and development, to test an alien weapon technology! For the same ideals the Alliance upholds!

Hell, when they killed off -" Shepard breathed out and clenched his teeth. This was not for rhetorical effect; he had to fight his own emotions. "When they killed off dozens of people on Akuze, and tortured and mistreated one for years, it was scientists officially signed up with the Alliance who did this. And records about this ended up in Alliance databases! Think about that. At this stage I would put nothing past the Alliance.

I know some of you might point out that we are talking about _humanity's _power here, about _humanity's_ standing in the galaxy and _humanity's_ reputation. But is that so? It's true that Alliance propaganda emphasizes the need to be strong in the face of the aliens. However, _humanity, _or at least the part the Alliance is responsible for, lives in impoverished conditions, is constantly threatened by slavers, is dominated by corporations and/or exploited by the Alliance itself. I'm sorry, but that's most definitely not a strong humanity!

There has been alien aggression of course. Nine hundred humans died on Shaanxi. That many people we lost to turian aggression. Their deaths should be mourned and we should seek justice. But you know what? That number is barely more than the population of Zhu's Hope, the population ExoGeni wanted to 'purge.' And yet, the Systems Alliance, our supposed defender, tried to hush everything up!

So what we're actually talking about is _Alliance_ power and _Alliance _standing. And considering how few the Alliance seems to care about humans, that's a different thing all together. Political leadership, corporate leadership, they're all so distant to humanity and uncaring about humanity that it might as well be aliens ruling over us. What's the difference? You can approach turians on Elysium or the Citadel, but can you approach big time CEOs or the leaders of the Parliamentary Committees? So, _maybe,_ instead of worrying about the 'alien menace' we should worry about the menace our own leaders represent!

So let us care about _human_ power and _human _standing instead! Different to what my detractors claim, hell yeah I'm all for that! The victims of BAaT, or the colonists on Feros, are they not part of humanity? What is humanity, if not all of us? Let us hence strife for _true_ human patriotism! True human patriotism is not blindly following your government. It isn't 'my species right or wrong.'It's _making_ our species right! If you truly care for humanity, then help it progress! Do not maintain illusions of righteousness, have it _be _righteous!

I cannot at all understand why people would rather accept crimes than their revelation, and really, I don't want to understand it, either. That's why I belabour the points I make in this speech over and over again: Having knowledge of them, I cannot with good conscience do nothing and neither should you. There is no way to say 'I'll do nothing and will wash my hands clean of this.' The decision to non-action is already an action in itself! If you think so, then you already have sullied your hands! There's no escape!

'My country, right or wrong' is just another form of ego-stroking. So many people would rather revel in a righteous feeling of pride, even if it means accepting and ignoring crimes. It is _not_ patriotism, it's mental masturbation. _True _patriotism is being active for your country or your species. True patriotism is leaving your mental bubble of feeling smugly content and instead actually _facing_ what is wrong. True patriotism is correcting what's wrong, instead of claiming there's nothing wrong.

And so we have a _duty_ to oppose the government if that government takes our country, our species, down a path we know to be wrong. After all, patriotism can also mean making sacrifices of yourself. Sometimes to help your species, you have to sacrifice your life - brave soldiers are doing this maybe even as we speak in battle with slavers and raiders. However, sometimes it's not your life that's required to make things better, but your pride. Sometimes you have to give up your pride to help humanity. That is true patriotism.

General Williams was a patriot. When he was the commanding officer at Shaanxi, civilians were dying around him. The brutal and atrocious nature of turian warfare killed people he was sworn to protect. Because that is the entire purpose of the military: To protect civilians. Many of his soldiers had already given their lives for it, but it was not enough. So General Williams sacrificed what needed to be sacrificed: He swallowed down his pride and surrendered: for the sake of Shaanxi's colonists, colonists like _you_.

And what became of him? He was stripped of his rank and ended up doing construction work in the colonies. To this day he has not been exonerated. Apparently, the Alliance would have preferred it had some more hundreds of civilians, hundreds of _others _died and suffered rather than _them_ losing face.

Vanity. Just as I have said. It is vanity that leads to the Alliance accepting hundreds of victims of the batarians every year. It's vanity that leads them to allow corporate abuses and corporate dictatorships. It's vanity that let to the condemnation of General Williams. It's their vanity that would very nearly have led to the death of everybody here. You really wouldn't have been the first victims of their vanity, either. In fact there have been much more excessive cases.

I speak of course of BAaT.

I accuse!" Shepard shouted now. "I accuse the Systems Alliance, which claims to represent and defend humanity, but doesn't. I accuse it of abduction. I accuse it of wrongful imprisonment. I accuse it of child abuse. I accuse it of torture. I accuse it of accessory to murder. I accuse it of criminal negligence. I accuse it of illegal medical experiments. I accuse it of grave bodily harm. I accuse it of libel and slander. I accuse it of obstruction of justice."

Shepard leaned over his podium. There were first mutters and angry shouts from the people. His hands made a wide waving gesture over the audience. "Have you seen the reports? Have you seen the vids? Have you heard the survivors' reports? I ask you, have you _seen_ how turians beat down children? Have you heard how they were systematically broken? Or about the lifelong pains the L2 implants have forced on them? _Forced on them as children!_" He shouted the last sentence from the depths of his lungs, and slammed his fist on the podium. "Or have you heard the tales about ruined lives, of estranged families, of broken minds and existences in misery? And we aren't talk about the victims of a criminal syndicate or of a foreign invasion here. We talk about the victims _of our own damned government!_ Had this been a criminal group responsible for that atrocity, we would go to any length to find it and exterminate it - _and why should this be any different for the Alliance? _

And maybe worst of all was that BAaT happened purely because of the vanity of our leaders. It was _official policy _not to make Earth look 'weak' - which of course means not to make our narcissist leaders slightly uncomfortable. They were too cowardly, too self-centred, too egoistic to simply ask for help, nevermind how much our status as newcomers would have justified it. So rather than have to go through the trouble of asking for help; they tortured children." Shepard bolted upright again, and his voice burst forth as a shout: "_Because the Alliance was to vain to ask for help!_

Can we really accept such a government? A government which has _tortured children_? Again: This was official policy. This was the Alliance. It still is official policy to keep this entire atrocity under wraps. Fifteen years this secrecy has been enforced. They did this because the overriding desire to create a 'working biotic' was in fact an Alliance policy. A policy of the government, not just some rotten apples. And so here we are, with a government which has _tortured children_.

Many people would simply ignore that. However, I implore you, ask yourselves: What if this had happened to you? What if this had happened to your children, your siblings, your cousins? There were deliberate cases of contamination out here in the colonies. So imagine it, every one of you: Corporate suits appear at your door one day and simply take your child away, giving you no chance to resist. You never hear a single word from them for six years, because they've all been isolated from the rest of the galaxy. And then, one day, your child comes back... and is a psychological wreck. The suits who return him or her do not give any explanation, because it's all under wraps, but your child is utterly traumatized and afraid of everything. They also have problems with limb movements, personality changes or periodic pains from the L2s.

So your child is home again, but even though they're not even of age yet they're already utterly broken. They haven't seen their family or even only natural sunlight in nine years. They've been beaten, broken, terrorized, and then simply dumped off. And the stories your child tells - they're terrible. But nobody believes them. After all, who believes a L2 - we all know what they're like, the Alliance has told us! It's probably just hallucinations. Nobody believes your child and nobody believes you. Your child has just been abused and dumped, and that's the end of it. For the Alliance, that is. For your child, the battle with the implant and the constant pains will continue for the rest of their lives. There is no way your child can have a normal life again.

And there is _no _closure: Because it was all classified, your child can't even go see a psychiatrist about it. After all, in their vanity, the Alliance government could not take responsibility for its atrocities; rather they had their victims _suffer further_. They did not allow them to talk to anybody about what has been done to them. First they had abused them as children, and now the victims' suffering continued into adulthood. For fifteen years the biotics still suffered, alienated from their families by Conatix' systematic lies and hurting from their implants. Have you read the _suicide statistics? _Between the sheer trauma, the fact that nobody believed them, the never ending L2 pains, the ruined relationships to family and everybody they've ever known, the inability to get any amount of justice and the continued marginalization of biotics in society... Between all that a fifth, a _fifth_ of all BAaT victims have committed suicide since '69. All because of the Alliance government!

Now given all this, could you still simply ignore what the Alliance has done? For that matter, can you be sure, any of you, that they won't pick _you_ the next time an unknown biological phenomena comes around? That our political leaders, the Alliance, won't pick _your_ children, put them into isolation for years, and then abuse and torture them for their own gain? After all, the Alliance has hushed up matters for fifteen years, it's clear they've never moved past that. So what if you happen to belong to their next 'target group'?

Oh yes, I know what some of you will say now: hey, biotic children nowadays have the Ascension Project, so the Alliance has fixed its 'mistakes'." Shepard paused. "That's a_ goddamn travesty_ to say in the face of all the victims of BAaT. Victims who have gone _fifteen years_ without compensation or justice. All the Alliance has done is to not create even more wrongs. It has not at all righted the wrongs already committed. Oh, the Alliance doesn't torture children anymore, are we meant to applaud that?" Shepard demonstratively made a slow, sarcastic golf clap. "So much progress - they merely cover up their old atrocities and spread rumours about their victims, instead of committing new ones. And meanwhile, the BAaT survivors still suffer.

Yes, _now_ that the Alliance has profited from its _atrocities_, that it has gained knowledge about biotics from their abuse of children, _now_ it can afford not to go on with that anymore. The Alliance has not become morally better, just better informed. The Ascension Project is based on the suffering and abuse of children, and the crimes against them are still hushed up. So how can anybody honestly claim the Alliance has become better? That's ridiculous!

I tell you, if they need knowledge about another biological field in five or ten years, they might use the very same methods again to gain that knowledge. The Alliance has not fixed its crimes. It is still the same Alliance that allowed the _torture of children_.

Not that Grissom Academy is any ideal anyway. Children with biotic potential are no longer forced anymore to undergo biotic training, but they are still _expected to _by our society. Even when they'd rather be craftsmen, artists, or academicians instead of biotics. However, society just assumes they have to go to Elysium and get trained. Why? Why is that? Can you not let those children choose their lives for themselves? Why do we need to train minors? Let them have a normal childhood, and then as young adults they can go to an academy like they'd visit a university! Or not, if they so choose. But, at least let them decide as informed adults! There should be no social expectations, and there should be laws protecting minors from them!

Grissom Academy is a sterile station, confining its inhabitants to close corridors, again without any natural sunlight. The children there literally can't even go outside to play, and they're isolated from wider society. After all, their natural development is unimportant; the only thing that counts is their development as biotic. And it's not like they or their families can realistically say no to that. This is just utterly wrong! Imagine: Biotic training in a college or university, situated in a lively city and integrated into society, where informed adults with biotic potential can sign up for training – again, or not, if they so choose. Would you not feel much more comfortable knowing your child is at such an institution instead of spending their childhood at a far away boarding school in a tin can simply because it is expected of them?

Everyone sees us biotics merely as tools! As tools to be used and, as far as the Alliance is concerned, to be broken if necessary. That's what the turians did to the children on Gagarin Station after all; breaking them so working biotics would be produced. That's all the Alliance ever cared about, then and now. And I won't stand for it any more! I _am _a biotic, and I _will_ get justice for my people!

But then, the Alliance not only does not care about us; it doesn't care about anybody - not you, not me, not _anybody_! It only cares for its own power and standing. It cares for its own vanity - just as the corpations it protects only care for their own greed. And you can be sure pride, gluttony, and envy are well represented among our leaders too. Against that litany of sins, we only have one: wrath."

Shepard picked up a paperback copy of the Alliance Charter from his podium, and held it cover first to the crowd. Printed texts had become rare in the age of extranet and datapads, but some still existed, and this one would do its purpose.

"Tell me, friends: why should anybody who has been abducted by the government, who has been tortured on authorization of the government, who has gotten a constant source of pain shoved into their head, and who could not have gotten justice for fifteen years feel any loyalty to the Alliance or its laws? Why, it's not like they got to enjoy the protection of those laws themselves!

Hence -" In one smooth move, Shepard ripped his copy of the Alliance Charter apart. There were some shouts of surprise from the audience. "_The social contract is broken. _It is tattered and in ruins - broken by the Alliance." Shepard let the ripped out pages flutter to the ground. "The mandate of the government is to protect its people, and yet now we need protection _from_ them! The Alliance already treats the social contract as null and void, and hence we are free to do so as well. It does not bind you anymore. It does not bind _anybody_ anymore. It has become null and void by the actions of the Alliance themselves.

Loyalty can only be expected in _return_ for loyalty. It may never be a one-way street. The Alliance knows no loyalties. Without a second thought it has tortured and sacrificed people. So why should those people, why should _any of us_, be loyal to the Alliance? Be bound by your conscience and your ethics. Do not harbor any loyalty to a government that would torture children, to political leaders who find losing hundreds every year to barbarous slavery or death is acceptable, or to a system in which corporations can kill attempt to hundreds with no consequences.

This is what I've come to tell you: The social contract is broken. The Alliance only cares for its own vanity. All we have now is each other."

His speech to the crowd complete, Shepard turned around and walked off the stage, not waiting for any audience reaction. He had definitely stepped over the line into sedition. Yet, as far as he was concerned, all he said was true. With some luck, he had managed to plant something into the collective mind of the colony. Something that could grow - if Saren could be defeated.

The screen that had been standing behind Shepard began to play vids from the surveillance cameras of the BAaT project, showing death, violence, crying children. At the same time, loud speakers began to sound testimonies:

"_My father did not want to let the Conatix representatives take me. They told them of the dangers of biotics, about mental instabilities, about how it's all for our own safety - still he wouldn't. That was when they began with legal threats, about him recklessly endangering the public. Seven days later, they returned and took me. I did not see or speak with my father again for seven years, and by then he was fully convinced us L2s are all dangerous maniacs. _"

"_The turians beat us at the slightest things. Whenever we used our hands instead of biotics, whenever we ever so slightly stopped pushing during the pain drills, whenever we raised our voice. They beat us, and some even had electric shock staffs. We woke up every morning in fear what the day would bring."_

"_Both Alexa and me were from Moscow, and that was reason enough we started constantly hanging out with each other. She... she was a very good friend. Then the turians came. And then the L2s. And then the turians trying to break us with the pain drills, so we'd drop any subconscious barriers. __Alexa had already keeled over two times during such drills, so one day she just refused to push on. First one turian 'instructor' beat her, then others joined in, and then they all beat her to bloody pulp. She died on that day. She was thirteen."_

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**Everything stated in this speech is logically drawn from canon sources, if you only stop to think about such matters for a moment. I do not describe a darker version of BAaT here, and I do not describe a darker version of the Alliance. That is their characterisation from canon sources.**


	33. Ch31: Before Ilos

**And finally here comes an update to this lone ME1 fic that surely will get swallowed in the sea of ME 3 fics now flooding the section. Sorry for the delays, I had to take care of exams and stuff. Next update might take longer than the normal week interval, too, but afterwards, as we move towards ME 2, updates should be more smoothly again. Again, sorry. Note: I'll pretty much disregard what Bioware has now established as canon look for quarians in ME 3. Quarians should be proper, well,** **_aliens._ Why that note? Well, I think you can guess what comes in this chapter... ;)  
**

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Shepard was pretty content with himself as he entered the aircar that would transport him to the space port of Scott, Terra Nova's capital. He just had held a speech which he was pretty sure would have a historic impact, and who could say that about oneself? Stopping Saren and thus avoiding the destruction of the galaxy was still a bigger issue, but the Spectre thought that he just had to operate under the assumption he would succeed. If he were to fail against Saren none of this would matter anyway. He just had to assume the galaxy would go on, and following that assumption he had to try to make it a better place.

Two grim looking men in uniform entered the aircar with him, and the female driver wore the same uniform. _Terra__ Nova__'__s __police__'__s __special__ unit_, as Shepard realized. It was obvious that his speech would incense quite many people, and so Terra Nova made it clear that it would protect its saviour with its best troops. Even if those were just police forces. Normally Shepard would have been amused about such security measures, but not right now. Right now, even the two armoured and armed police aircars escorting him seemed sensible.

From his car window, Shepard looked out to Scott's skyscrapers and the nearby ore-rich mountains. He rubbed his chin and considered the events ahead of him. He had employed his suddenly renewed surge in popularity for something that would hopefully move society in the future. Now he just had to make sure there would _be_ a future. The next step surely was awaiting the supplies promised by Hackett and then going to Ilos. If they failed at Ilos, there would be no future at all. And even if they succeeded, the Reapers were still out there. He believed he could stop Saren, but had no idea how to defeat an armada of AI dreadnoughts.

The convoy of aircars encountered none of the apparently feared troubles and landed safely on Scott's open-air spaceport, directly next to the _Normandy_. The facility was shaped like a circle, with every docking space taking up a slice of it, separated from each other by maintenance and refueling buildings. Shepard thanked the driver, who remained fully professional and did not answer. The Spectre just shrugged and left the aircar. Garrus and Wrex were already awaiting him. They were in full equipment, so Shepard assumed they had gotten a tip from Terra Nova's police and were taking over the job as his protection.

"I think I could have managed the short walking trip to the ship alone," he thus commented with a grin.

"Knowing you, not without blowing up some buildings," Wrex joked flatly.

Garrus kept looking awkwardly at the Spectre. However, it was only when all three were inside the ship that he spoke up: "Ah, Jon. About that speech... hm, I'm not saying anything about it, but it might have been bad timing. We just got a call. A ship claiming to carry the supplies from Fifth Fleet has just arrived in the system. So, uh..."

"The Alliance comes knocking right after you told them just what they are," Wrex precised the turian's statement, just as the three left the ship's decontamination unit.

Shepard's face formed into an uncomfortable half-grin. "I see. Well, let's hope Hackett still thinks my mission absolutely necessary for the survival of the galaxy. After all, it is."

"True," Garrus replied, obviously still unhappy, "but I think we still will get a rather frosty reception. I mean, what you said about the Alliance... I'm not saying it's not true. However, the Alliance, well, at least you _used_ to be with them, and even if you aren't, you're still human..."

Shepard stopped at the stairs up to the crew deck. "Garrus," he said, "I know turian philosophy in regards to authority and, well - I hope I haven't made you all too uncomfortable?"

"It came as a shock," Garrus replied earnestly. "Despite all your previous actions. This was a step further. I'm not quite sure what to think of it. What you said was true, but your conclusion..."

"What did you expect, turian?" Wrex asked. "It's Shepard. He can turn even words into weapons."

"That's how you krogans frame everything, isn't it?" Garrus shot back aggressively. "Conflict. Violence. And that's exactly why we turians have such a polity model as the Hierarchy. It came about as result of the Reunification War, after all. To end the violence and social unrest."

"And so you turned yourself into obedient little drones," Wrex said.

Shepard was about to intervene, but Garrus pre-empted him. Seriously and quietly he answered: "I could come up with a witty comeback to that, especially given our races' shared history." He glared at Wrex, who starred back. "However, I won't. The truth is I've always been a bad turian. A turian might complaint about a bad order, but he's still supposed to always follow it. I've never seen the use of that. That's why I never succeeded in the army, and that's why I wasn't very content in C-Sec, either. I always did my own thing. So maybe you're right, Jonathan. Maybe sometimes complaining about bad orders, or bad superiors is not enough. Sometimes you have to become active."

A period of silence followed. Finally Wrex spoke up: "I underestimated you... Garrus. You may just be the first turian to truly get it. For all the turian talk about honour or duty, it was never really put to the test. It's just blathering for most of your race. But not for you, it appears."

Both Shepard and Garrus looked surprised at the krogan. He usually never made such concessions or admissions. However, he did not say anything further, either. After a while, Shepard said: "Well, I'm not C-Sec, and I'm definitely not like the Turian Hierarchy. So, if you do have any complaints, lay them on me."

"No," Garrus answered. "I was shocked, even though I should have expected it from you. But I'm hardly in a position to criticize you. And I don't want to. Having somebody like you as a commanding officer is pretty much ideal for me. Or maybe I just don't want to end up a failure yet again."

"What? No!" Shepard exclaimed. "You aren't. I think you're too hard on yourself. You know what is at stake here: Saving the entire galaxy. And if it weren't for your contributions, Garrus, we wouldn't have found Benezia on Noveria, would hence never had found out about the Mu Relay, and hence would definitely have come too late to Ilos. As it is, we still have a chance, thanks to you. So, you just can't be a 'failure'." He grinned. "Which in turn means that maybe 'rebellious turian' is a successful model of which there should be more in the Hierarchy, but then maybe I'm biased in my conclusions."

"Keep to taking on the Alliance," Garrus replied with a hint of humour, "Also taking on the Hierarchy might be too much even for you." He paused. "I see your point, but very few people get the chance to be on such a chase like this one. Being good at that is not usually a skill in great demand. However, if I can contribute to the mission, I will. Even if we stop Sovereign, there are presumably more of his kind out there. You can count on _this_ rebellious turian at least."

"And on Fifth Fleet's supplies," Wrex added unmoved.

Again, the two others looked strangely at the krogan. Shepard sighed. "Yes, I'll get in contact with that ship. Just let me get a less ridiculous outfit, this one is way too formal." It had needed to be, to be appropriate for a public speech, but Shepard did not at all feel comfortable in it. He made a sloppy pseudo-salute as parting greeting to his two squadmates and left them behind as he walked up the stairs to the crew deck.

Besides getting out of his outfit, he also wanted to see where Tali was. He had kept his speech a surprise to everybody, even to her. He was curious and even a little bit anxious as to what she would say about it. However, he did not get to his cabin. Rather, he was intercepted by Ashley, who was sitting in the mess and apparently had been waiting for him. As Shepard walked by she called out: " 'General Williams'? Really?"

Shepard stopped. He did not quite know what to say. It was true, he had mentioned her grandfather without speaking to her before. It had fit in just so perfectly, but that was hardly an argument he could use now. So instead he finally managed to say: "Yes. I'm sorry."

"That's all?" Ashley asked and stood up. "First you leave me here on the ship, so that I have no chance to clear my - his name, and then you use him in a speech completely denouncing the Alliance?"

"And yet, all I said was the truth," Shepard defended himself meekly as the marine walked up to him.

She came to a halt just a few centimetres in front of him and stemmed her hands into her hips. "Yes," she admitted, "but the results are still the same." She pointed her finger at his chest. "You're so wrapped up in your ideals of truth and justice that you don't see what you do your squadmates, do you? To your friends." She had a point, Shepard had to admit. He in fact had not thought of that. Or at least had not truly considered it. Ashley went on: "I could understand your logic of leaving me behind. You were right, this wasn't about glory, this was about saving four million people and ensuring our mission against Saren would go on. But then you went out there and in fact did claim the glory, so you could pound on the Alliance! And I again got nothing."

"You'll get to defeat Saren. I promise that," Shepard answered quietly, but he knew himself how weak that sounded.

"That's something, but hardly enough," Ashley hence replied aggressively. "I'll remind you of that. And afterwards..." She became quieter. "Please don't misunderstand me. You're the best military superior I've ever had and I... hope I can consider you my friend. Despite everything. But I don't think we can really work together. It just doesn't work out. So, we'll kick Saren's ass and then... well, it's funny thinking about it, because we're both mutineers right now, but then I want a reassignment. I hope you understand."

"I do," Shepard affirmed. "I meant what I said: I don't ask you to throw all of your views overboard. However, I know sometimes I become too overbearing, so... I can hardly _force _you to work with me. Or force you in general. I would like to consider you my friend, after all."

"I said if you screw this up, then I'll do more then just leave this ship, but as it is, all you have said is in fact the truth," Ashley continued, "I can hardly turn you in just for stating the truth. But I think you're too much in love with it."

"What?" Shepard blurted out. It was his first reaction; he did not quite know what to think of that statement.

"Humans _need_ something to believe in," Ashley explained herself. "The Alliance is not just a state, an institution, it's an ideal. Something people strife for, something people make sacrifices for. And you want to take that ideal apart."

"Because it isn't an ideal!" Shepard replied, getting firmer again, "That ideal has been a lie!"

"But to millions of people that doesn't matter!" Ashley argued, "You're not just correcting injustices, by speaking out _directly_ against the Alliance, you're taking away the reason why millions of people help to make humanity better!"

"Bad enough they need a reason for that," Shepard countered. "It may be human nature, but it's nothing our race can be proud of. People should follow principles not basically, well, 'the tribe'. I certainly don't need such false ideals."

"Maybe," Ashley conceded, "but you cannot _change_ human nature. I know enough of human history to know that such experiments have always ended in disaster. We have to take what's there. Building a magnificent house, even if the foundation is faulty. It can work. Tearing down the foundation over and over again doesn't."

"To extent your metaphor," Shepard said, getting slightly more aggressive, "In ancient times they used to sacrificed children and bury them into the foundation to make a house stand stable. If that happens I don't _care_ what house stands over it - the foundation simply _will _get torn down."

"Yes," Ashley acknowledged, and it sounded sad, "that's how you work." And with that, she left the Spectre standing there and walked away.

Shepard stood there for a while. It saddened him that he would lose Ashley's support. She was a very good soldier and she _was_ a friend. However, that was exactly why he could understand her. Finally, he walked on to his cabin. He did not find Tali there. Sighing, he began to change.

…...

The ship claiming to carry Fifth Fleet's supplies did not belong to the Alliance Navy. As XO Pressly had found out, it was a privately owned freighter, registered as belonging to one "Zhou Yung", an individual Shepard had heard nothing about so far. This was not very surprising, though: Of course Admiral Hackett would be trying to cover up his involvement.

There had been an audio only communication with the ship, and the voice of its commander had clearly been run through a distorter. Shepard was thus quite curious to meet him or her. However, the ship had taken a very slow approach to the system and hence only now, one day later, would it land on Terra Nova. In the meanwhile, the planetary authorities had been quite helpful in stocking the _Normandy _up with basic supplies like food, fuel and medicine. All that was needed now were the specifically military supplies like replacement parts and ammunition.

Asgard, Terra Nova's sun, was just rising as the enigmatic ship landed right next to the _Normandy__, _separated by one of the spaceport's maintenance facilities. The transfer of supplies, both basic and military, could hence probably be completed over the day. Liara was scheduled to leave the hospital this evening, and thus with some luck the _Normandy_ could start the next morning or maybe already during the night. Tali had returned to Shepard's cabin, or probably more correctly now to her and Shepard's cabin last evening but had left it again very early in the morning. She had not told Shepard what she was doing. The Spectre was somewhat amused about it, but also worried. After his speech, everybody on the squad could be a target.

"She really should have taken somebody along," Garrus commented on it. He was walking besides Shepard and was still basically acting as his 'bodyguards' of sorts. "That would have been more professional. And more secure."

"To be fair, she can take care of herself," Shepard answered. "She's been on most every combat mission so far, and even on the Citadel it looked like she would fight her way out of Fist's trap. It's just... a bit more dangerous than usual. And I'm allowed to be worried." He grinned slightly.

"It's still an issue of military professionalism," Garrus argued.

"We aren't an organized military," Shepard countered. "Tali obviously wants whatever she does to remain secret for now, and she does have a right to privacy. And it would be insulting towards her if I tried to protect her from anything, she can do _that_ on her own. Even though I can help, of course." He grinned again.

"That's how it usually works in turian relationships," Garrus answered "but it has not always been like that among your people or among the quarians, has it?"

Shepard just shrugged. He and Garrus were walking around the maintenance facility separating the _Normandy_ from the mysterious freighter carrying Fifth Fleet's supplies. As Shepard passed around its corner, he could see that most of the supplies were already in the process of being unloaded from the ships. Crates were standing everywhere.

He was about to reply in full to Garrus when a shout pierced through the air: "Get down! Sniper!"

It was a familiar voice, and so military instincts took over in him and Garrus: They dove to the ground. A shot rang above them. Shepard later could not say what had made him so receptive to the warning. Maybe he had processed the warning fast enough. Maybe the familiarity of the voice. Or maybe he had already been automatically more alert due to all the crates around. _At __least __this__ time __there __is __no __mystery __where__ they __come __from__. _He cursed, and half-ran, half-crawled to the nearest one, followed by Garrus.

Shepard wore a strong a shield generator, but no real armour. After all, this was not a combat mission, or rather, it had not been planned as one. He only had his shields and a pistol. Garrus, on the other hand, was on a kind of combat mission, as he had specifically gone with Shepard in order to protect him. Thus he was fully armoured and fully equipped. He took his sniper rifle in order to search the horizon for the attacker.

However, before he could really take aim, Shepard grabbed him at the arm and pointed to something he had just seen: More attackers. And they came straight for them. "This doesn't look good," Garrus muttered.

"We can't get out of here until you've taken care of that sniper," Shepard said. "Give me your assault rifle, I'll try to stop those guys."

Garrus nodded, let his assault rifle fall into Shepard's hands and then immediately focused on the sniper rifle again. For the Spectre it felt somewhat odd holding such a rifle again. He had become more used to close combat engagements with the shotgun. However, of course he knew how to use an assault rifle. Every soldier did, it was the most basic military weapon and every soldier received training with it. After all, one could compress training with it to just two weeks or less, if need be. Which had been the case with Shepard, whose military training had mostly been focused on his biotic skills. And right now, such a rifle would do very much better against the attackers than a pistol.

He was outnumbered, of course. He counted four attackers, and so he did not focus on shooting them down, but instead did his best to just keep them in cover. Suppressive fire, instead of aimed fire. He could only hope Garrus would be finished with his business before the assault rifle would overheat. What was almost worse than the number of the enemies was their outfit: They were all wearing Navy uniforms. Shepard cursed. He had expected a reaction, but so quickly? _Wait__ a __minute__, __would __the__ Navy__ really __send__ assassins __in __uniform__?_ And indeed uniform at that, not combat armour. That was just silly, but Shepard could not ponder it. He was too busy making sure none of the four could escape his firing arc.

One of the opponents ran conveniently right into his fireline, but downing him heated up the rifle to dangerous levels. Finally he heard a shot behind him, and then Garrus exclaiming: "One less to worry about". Shepard fired a final salvo, let the assault rifle fall down and continued to fire with his pistol. Garrus joined in with his. The two stormed out of their cover, without needing to worry for snipers, and engaged the assailants in close combat. There was no doubt that they were Alliance Navy. Shepard was surprised to see pure hatred on their faces.

None of them surrendered. _Why __can__'__t __I __ever __meet__ an __enemy__ who __does__?_ The Spectre hoped that emergency services would later be able to save at least some of them. However, he had not not the luxury to stay his hand; he was only defending himself. The last of the enemies even came rushing towards him as if in a berserker rage, wildly firing. Shepard's shields faltered, but Garrus shot the enemy down before the Spectre could take any real damage.

"That was all, I..." the turian began, but was interrupted: Wild, inarticulate shouting could be heard from the ship.

"Not over yet," Shepard said between heavy breathes and started to run again.

He sprinted around a further crate and raised his pistol. However, he did not shoot. The scene in front of him made him unsure: A female navy officer pressed herself against the ship's hull. A pistol lay to her feet, but she did not dare touch it, as she was kept in check by another woman: A highgrown, black-skinned and black-haired amazon with a fierce look of anger on her face. She held a pistol in her left hand, while her right hand glowed blue. A body in Alliance uniform lay to her feet. And Shepard knew her.

"Tisiphone!" he called out.

He had met her on Presrop, where she had been one of the members of Kyle's group. She herself had not believed in the "Father's" cult of personality, but had supported it because it gave so many biotics a home and a sense of belonging. Among them were many BAaT survivors, who virtually had nothing else in life but this community, and it had been their stories that had convinced Shepard to take up the fight for them. Tisiphone, too, had been at BAaT, and had sworn herself that she would get her revenge, that she would never forget and never forgive. She would not, however, sacrifice other people for her aims the way the Alliance had done. For now she would take care of her people. Shepard respected her greatly for that attitude, that she was neither meekly accepting of the facts nor the opposite extreme. He himself had no problems with revenge and hoped she would get hers.

Her head spun around, her long and heavy hair whirling in the air, but as soon as she had seen who had called she focused her attention back on the Alliance officer. "They planned this all as a trap," she said, spitting the words out in anger, "Typically Alliance. There are supplies on this ship all right, but it's all been a trap."

"This is madness!" the Navy member exclaimed. "We didn't even know Shepard would his treasonous little speech..." Tisiphone growled. "Okay, his speech! We didn't even knew he'd hold it, so how could it have been a trap? Ahmed and the guys acted on their own, out of pure rage."

"Ah, dead scapegoats," Tisiphone replied, "How convenient. And how very Alliance."

"To be fair, I don't think the Alliance would attack me this openly," Shepard said cautiously and began to carefully walk closer to the scene.

"If we strike you wouldn't even notice it!" the Navy officer lashed out in anger.

"Careful!" Tisiphone hissed.

"Oh shoot me then," the Navy officer said. "That's what your kind does, terrorist, isn't it?"

"Funny," Shepard intervened, "I could have sworn it were Alliance Navy soldiers who were just trying to shoot _me_."

"I can confirm that," Garrus said from behind Shepard. He now approached the scene, too. "I just checked. Two of the people who attacked us live. I applied medigel; emergency services should arrive soon. Two are dead. As for the sniper, I don't know."

Tisiphone looked at Garrus and made a face. She looked uncomfortable, but it was the Navy officer who reacted to what he had said."All because how you've slandered the Alliance, Shepard!" she shouted angrily. "Because of what you've said, of how you're inciting sedition against the Alliance, how you're throwing any loyalties into the wind..."

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Tisiphone asked sarcastically. She still held her pistol up. "What Shepard has said. What he has described. Painful to listen to, isn't it? But believe me, not half as painful as actually having been forced to go through it! Or to endure the implant!"

"The Alliance tried..." the Navy officer began.

"Don't!" Tisiphone interrupted her, "Don't try to justify any of it if you want to get out of here alive."

The Navy officer shot a glance to Shepard. There was panic in her eyes. "I wouldn't stop her," the Spectre stated calmly. It was mostly meant as a way to subdue her remaining resistance, but he was actually not so sure if he would in fact intervene or not. _People__ trying__ to __justify __BAaT __to __an __armed__ BAaT __survivor __would __kinda __have__ it __coming__._

"I went through it!" Tisiphone continued. "All Shepard has said is the truth. The Alliance had us _tortured_. They let Conatix and the turians do it, so they could get working biotics. And we had to go through hell for it. Even though they could have asked the asari for official aid. But that would have been embarrassing for them, so they rather had us _tortured_. And now you demand loyalty? You _dare_ to?"

"Some L2s are with the Alliance..." the Navy officer began again.

However, again Tisiphone interrupted her: "_Those_ are the traitors!"

That apparently shut the Alliance officer up. Shepard used to chance to speak up: "Now, I can believe these man were acting on their own. Otherwise they would have been better prepared, with better weapons and armour..."

"We didn't let them have that on board," Tisiphone interrupted him. "They must have smuggled that sniper rifle aboard. We only allowed side arms, and no armour."

"We?" Shepard asked. "What exactly happened?"

"Admiral Hackett does believe you are our only chance to save us from Saren's machinations," the Alliane officer began to explain. "So do I, which is why I'm on this mission. Pity it has to be somebody like you."

"The hero the Alliance deserves, not the one it wants," Tisiphone commented grinning.

"Whatever. It was because of that, because it is you, that the Admiral was willing to send you supplies," the Alliance officer continued. "However, of course, that's quite an illegal action. Misappropriation of Alliance material, support of mutineers... still, it had to be done. He just needed to make sure it could not be traced back to him and his supporters in Fifth Fleet."

"So he approached us," Tisiphone took over the story. "We should transport the goods. If anything were discovered, hey, it would just be biotic terrorists stealing Alliance equipment. Embarrassing, but not treason. Even when he goes against Alliance policy, that Hackett guy seems to be an Alliance man through and through in methods. He knew we owed you, so of course we agreed. Too bad it also meant taking a detachment of Fifth Fleet soldiers along."

"Those _are_ our goods," the Alliance officer pointed out.

"Not anymore," Tisiphone just replied calmly. "They're Shepard's now."

"Let her go, Tisiphone," Shepard said. "She's not worse than a majority of humanity has proven to be. I don't think she's involved with the attacks on me. And somebody has to continue unloading the supplies."

Reluctantly, Tisiphone lowered her weapon. "Yeah. Better her kind than those people who feel _so_ sorry for us and yet still support the Alliance and don't think you should have published this stuff. Fucking hypocrites. Better her open lack of empathy and common decency then." She turned to the Alliance officer again."You heard him. So be a good little Alliance lackey and do your job."

"I..." the Alliance officer began.

This time it was Shepard who cut her off. "Do it!" he ordered icily. The officer shot an angry glance to Shepard and then stomped off.

After she was gone Garrus said: "I understand your anger, but if you go on like that there will never be a reconciliation with the Alliance"

"I have no intention at all to ever reconcile with the Alliance," Shepard replied. He turned to Tisiphone: "I must say, it was quite a surprise to see you here. That was a clever move by Hackett. Very like the Alliance maybe, but clever."

"Yeah, the Alliance is nothing if not clever. Clever, ruthless, greedy and corrupt," Tisiphone replied. She still shot nervous glances to Garrus now and then.

Shepard nodded and looked down to the corpse at Tisiphone's feet. "And now it has come to this."

"The police will soon arrive to take care of this," Garrus said.

Shepard sighed. "True. Let's get away from here for now." He began to walk and turned to Tisiphone. "How's the group doing?".

"The... replacement base is a bit small and hence crammed, but it will do until we have found something better," Tisiphone replied. After refusing to go through with Hackett's order to turn Kyle in, Shepard had even given the group a location of a secret base he had cleared of criminals before, so that they could lay low for a while. "Maybe I should use the good reputation you have just gained her to to find something better," she suggested joking.

"Actually, I'd really consider that," Shepard answered seriously.

"Hm, maybe," Tisiphone said. "Oh, and sorry for having brought you into such a situation. You're okay, I hope?"

"Yeah, thanks to you. Your warning really saved our butts," Shepard stated.

"Just as you have saved us," Tisiphone answered, "so it's no big deal." It did sound as if it were not embarrassment about the praise or something like that, but a genuine belief that it was nothing big. She grinned. "And hah, won't that little incident drive the Alliance even deeper into shit. Alliance soldiers trying to gun you down one day after having saved the entire planet? I mean, even if they were acting on their own, the public reaction will be interesting. Oh boy..."

Shepard laughed, but then he realized something. "Shit," he cursed. "Ah, that would be nice, but maybe it would be best if we could hush this thing up."

"_Hush __it __up__?_" Tisiphone asked totally surprised. Both she and Garrus looked at Shepard aghast.

The Spectre knew that such a proposal was very unlike him. However, he had his reasons. "Yeah. If we don't, then investigations will eventually come to what Hackett has done," he explained. "I'd lose my only ally, well sort of, at least, among the Navy's admiralty, and in the end the Alliance could point out to how disloyal those soldiers have been in the first place and thus avoid any media scandal."

"Unfortunately, this sounds logical," Garrus answered, "But I've seen too many cases of hushing things up in my time at C-Sec. I don't like the thought."

"Don't like the thought?" Tisiphone repeated angrily. "Doing such stuff is what the Alliance does. Aren't we supposed to be better? Next thing you know we're defending their hush-up of Brain Camp!"

"There's a difference," Shepard said. "This attack was on me. I was the target. I am the victim. So it is within my right to forgive or forget. And I choose to forget, for strategical reasons. Nobody can forgive or forget or force forgetfulness on part of others. And the dead cannot forgive or forget at all. They're dead, and need to be avenged."

To his surprise, Tisiphone's face changed completely, from anger to a respectful lopsided grin. "Huh," she voiced, "succinct argument. Well spoken. I need to remember that one."

"Besides, what fun would there be in another scandal for the Alliance if I wouldn't even be there to see it enfold?" Shepard joked, glad to see the tension go.

"Surprising as it may seem, Jon, your primary mission is indeed to find Saren," Garrus joked.

"Yeah, I guess it's necessary, what with the entire galaxy at stake and all that," Tisiphone said. "In fact, I've half a mind to volunteer. As you've seen I can hold my own. I've got some experience in... direct action."

_Terrorist __attacks __she __means__,_ Shepard knew. "I assume there are other people to take this ship back to Kyle?" he asked. Tisiphone nodded, and he pondered the prospect. He did not doubt Tisiphone had the skills to be an asset. Together with her, his 'Spectre entourage', the remnants of the Marine Squad (Ashley and Private Ramirez) and himself he would have eight people, enough to have two ground parties if need be. On the other hand, if they had to employ the Mako, then he already had too many people. Plus, there was another thing to consider.

"Still, your people are probably rather vulnerable now," he said. "I mean, after my speech, and after this incident here..."

"That's true," Tisiphone conceded. She sounded like she was pondering the issue herself. "Might be we'll soon need every combat able person on our base. You never know. You surely have stirred up a hornet's nest."

"It's what I do," Shepard said with a grin. "Now, let's get this stuff onto the _Normandy_..."

…...

As he walked through the _Normandy_, Shepard realized that crew morale really was something he should have considered more before doing his speech. He had talked about the speech with nobody before; it had been a surprise to everybody. And to most aboard, it had been quite an unpleasant one. Shepard could not avoid but to be a bit disappointed with the crew, but then, it was not different than a majority of humanity in general: More outraged about the revelation of crimes than about the crimes themselves. _Granted__, __I__'__ve __gone __a __bit __farther __in __this __speech__ than__ just__ revealing__ crimes__. _

The ship had finally set out to its most important journey: Going to Ilos to find Saren and to prevent his machinations. In just some hours, they would arrive at the Mu Relay, this serendipitous shortcut to the ancient Prothean planet. The crew was fully devoted to this task, but Shepard knew that the grumbling among them that he had caused was not any helpful. As far as he was concerned, he had only told the truth - but maybe at a strategically unfortunate time.

_It__ doesn__'__t __matter __now__. _What was done, was done. What mattered now was looking forward, forward to the final confrontation with Saren and Sovereign. Nobody had any idea how many enemies they would face on Ilos, how far Saren had already come with his plans, what would await them. Seeing as the entire galaxy was at stake they would fight, but there was no guarantee of success. So before that ultimate battle, Shepard looked forward to some quiet time with Tali.

_Whatever __happens __on__ Ilos__, __at __least__ it __will __be __with __her __at __my __side__. _It was an oddly comforting thought. Maybe he should not give such importance to such a new relationship. Maybe it was just the stress and pressure of the whole mission which made him do so. However, it was not exaggerated to say that no other person in the galaxy was as important to him right now as her. And now, as the possibility of death once more awaited both he wondered if he had this made clear enough to her.

With a sigh, he entered his cabin - and very nearly he would have instinctively drawn his weapon and looked for a target. A sensory beam had targeted him, prompting this only barely suppressed reaction. He looked to the ground and saw a small installation on the floor into which he had stepped. _A__ field __decontamination __unit_ he realized. _What __the __hell__?_ He looked up again and saw Tali approaching him.

"What _is_ that? Why is a decontamination unit here?" he asked the quarian engineer and stepped outside it.

She was nervous. Shepard knew this even before she started to talk; her helmet's mask could not hide it. It was in her movements, her body language. And it never failed to make Shepard's heart go soft. "Because we'll be at Ilos soon, and..." She hesitated, but managed to collect herself. Speaking more securely, she went on: "We don't know whether we'll make it. We might even already be too late. And even if not, Saren might still defeat us."

_He __won__'__t__, _was Shepard's first reaction, but he didn't say it. She was right, it was a realistic possibility that they would lose. And she really was no little child that needed to be protected from the truth. "We'll fight," he said instead. "We'll do our best to defeat _him__._" In any case it still had little to do with that decontamination unit in his cabin. However, he could get a hint of what Tali was going on about. His heart made a jump, and he looked at Tali in a new light. _No __child__ indeed__; __a__ grown __woman__, __and__ quite __attractive__._

"And we'll fight with all our strength and passion," Tali said. "But sometimes that's just not enough. The universe doesn't always reward passion or skill or integrity. Ancestors know my people have learned that lesson. "

"If we lose this, we'll lose the whole galaxy," Shepard answered.

"Yes," Tali agreed. "That's why this unit is here. If we lose..." She hesitated again. Her entire pose was stiff and awkward. Too much so for Shepard to simply watch it: He laid his hands on her shoulders and let her slid into his embrace. "If we lose," she continued at his shoulder, "then I at least want to have been with you before. Without the suit. Just you and me. One last time just to ourselves, before we throw ourselves into battle."

Shepard's heart began to pound. He had wished for time with her, but he had not quite imagined that. Or at least, he had not planned that. What she proposed was attractive, to say at least, and yet - there was the issue of her health. "I'm not sure this is a good idea," he finally managed to reply. That was what his logic told him, but more primal parts of his mind were angrily scolding his rationality for that. That he could feel so deeply for her was due to her loyalty, her selflessness, her wit, her practical attitude - and yet, undeniably, she also was very attractive, from what the suit allowed to glimpse and from what he had seen on Noveria. She had an alien grace about her, and Shepard actually was eager to explore it. Yet, it would be too risky.

"I... I can understand if you have doubts," Tali replied and loosened the embrace "We don't need to do this. I think such... interspecies relationships are always complicated, so if you don't want to go that far yet, it's fine, I..."

"Tali," he interrupted her softly. She stopped. He was both amused and moved: That her first worry was about _him_ was just so much like her. "It's not about what I _want_. What I want is you. But after I've seen the results of what we did on Noveria... maybe I should not have let myself get carried away there. Maybe that already was a bad idea."

"Not as far as I'm concerned," Tali replied. It sounded surprisingly sultry.

Shepard sighed. He strengthened the grip on her arms and looked her into the eyes. "You're right. Anything can happen within the next hours. Including the death of the galaxy. So let's not let anything unsaid. And it's just... I'm worried about you, Tali. Because... because I _love _you. That's why I'd want to be with you. But that's also why I wouldn't want you to get hurt if it can be any avoided. Because I _love_ you." Tali's nervous movements stopped abruptly. "So, maybe it's just the best to... to... It just seems most logical to avoid any risks." He turned around and stood with his back to Tali.

She wrapped up her arms from behind him. "And do I get any say in your logical plan?" Despite everything, Shepard had to laugh. She had quoted him ad verbatim. Softly, she prompted him to turn around again. "When I set out on my pilgrimage I didn't think I'd get to hear these words. They mean a lot to me. I don't think I can express... - Because I love you, too, Jon. I love you. And that's why I'd face any danger to be with you." She tilted her head, a gesture of amusement. "After all, if I had wanted 'safe' I could have returned to the Flotilla at any time. It's not like you would have stopped me. But I never wanted to return. It's not just that I had a duty, that Saren needs to be stopped, I never _wanted_ to. Because I _want_ to be at your side, to be with you. And I'm willing to take some risks for that."

"I feel foolish needing such reassurances" Shepard said with lopsided smile. Tali chuckled, because this time he had quoted her. "But on Noveria it was a safe room at least, and.."

"I _hope_ with the way the _Normandy__'__s_ air circulation system is set up, and with the additional decontamination units set up we can have the same safety levels here," Tali interrupted him. "I also got some special antiseptic and antibacterial lotions. All taken together, it should even be possible to delay any... reaction until after this all is over. One way or the other. So, if you have overcome your foolish notions," Shepard laughed, "then maybe you should get into the shower cell and clean yourself."

Shepard looked into the cell's direction and noticed that another field decontamination unit had been set up in front of it. He grinned. _Well__ prepared__. __Of __course__. __Isn__'__t __she __always__?_ Looking at Tali again, emotions welled up in him, and a tense but pleasant anticipation. "I love you," he said softly. Then he went to get a towel.

He knew this would be Tali's first time, and he knew it would again be her bearing the consequences. So he was determined to make this as worthwhile for her as possible. To make it special. For him the world could end tomorrow, too, like for anybody else, yet this would be all about her. Tali had been forced into her suit by the terrible circumstances of her people's exile for far too long, and Shepard knew she craved even the most simple sensations. _Time__ to __give __the _best _sensations __to __her__. _That was foremost on his mind.

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Tali sat on Shepard's bed and waited. Her suit's internal cleaning program had already finished, and the immunoboosters slowly began to spread in her blood circuit. The sound of rushing water came out of the shower cell. Her heart hammered against her breast like wild. She had tried her best to hide her nervousness, to not give Shepard further second thoughts. It was in a way so foolish what he worried about - yet also so sweet. There would be consequences, of course. Further illness and further pains. However, she was used to that and she would not let her entire life be determined by her immune system deficiency.

Nonetheless, she was nervous. This was definitely outside _any _expectations she had held when she had set out for the pilgrimage. This was not how she had thought her first sexual encounter would be. This was not how quarian society thought a quarian's first sexual encounter _should _be. And yet, now that the galaxy might soon die, what did this all matter? Social expectations, personal expectations, all that mattered to Tali now was being close to Shepard. Because she had spoken true: She loved him.

With some embarrassment she thought about how she had acquired the decontamination units on Terra Nova. Walking through the streets of Scott had been a weird experience in general. Every person, literally every single person she had met was well inclined towards her. For a quarian, that was an entirely new experience. Everywhere else she had gone, she had been looked down upon, or had even been actively shunned or cast out. Simply because that was how people treated her race. Yet, on Terra Nova, she had not been just another quarian - she had been one of the saviours of the planet, and the people had seen and greeted her as such.

And the electronics shop owner to whom she had gone had concluded far too quickly for what she needed the units. There already were rumours about her and Shepard on the extranet after all, since their last visit to the Citadel. Tali had thought she would die on the spot as a knowing smile had flashed up on the shopkeeper's face. To her surprise and delight he had given her the two units free of charge, his contribution to the saviours of Terra Nova as he put it. Yet, Tali had barely been able to stammer a statement of thanks, before quickly fleeing the scene. Getting the hygiene lotions had been so much easier - there were after all countless possible uses for those.

The shower stopped. A short while later, Shepard stepped out of the cell, wearing only his tower and a grin on his face. Tali basked in his alien beauty, but the view also let her become almost shy. Her nervousness grew. Slowly, Shepard walked to her. There was a moment of awkward silence, as neither seemed willing to do the next step, until Tali stood up and laid a hand on his chest, tracing its outlines. She quickly undid her gloves so her fingers could freely continue the exploration of his upper body. Even if just her hands were freed of her suit so far, she soaked up the new sensations. She was excited and happy, and keenly aware that Shepard had only that towel around his waist left on him. He grinned slightly and used the time to remove her helmet - very slowly, giving her the chance to stop him, but of course she had no desire to.

Again, like on Noveria, Shepard smiled when he saw her face, and again, a feeling of inner warmth arose in her. Their lips met in a soft, longdrawn kiss that left both breathless. They took a step backward and half-fell, half-slid onto the bed, too engaged with each other to greatly care. However, Tali noticed that Shepard's towel had been left behind in the fall. Her feeling of excitement and also arousal grew. Soon, she would be out of this suit, would feel new sensations, would feel _him_... she could not wait anymore. She decisively grabbed Shepard's hand, triggering a small, surprised, muffled laughter from him, and led them to one of the many straps holding the suit together. He understood, and began very eagerly to work on them.

The outer layer of the envirosuit began to fall off from her, as both he and she removed them as quickly as their kisses in between allowed. Only once did Shepard look up, ready to say something - but Tali stroke with the tip of one finger over his mouth, left to right, a quarian gesture of silence the Spectre understood well enough. Tali had worried that maybe she was pushing things too fast now, too fast for him to adapt. But it was very clear now that he wanted this as much as she did, with his own emotions of excitement clearly visible. He had just been worried about her, and had been clearly willing to put his desires behind her needs. It was foolish, but it was gallant, loving foolishness. It made Tali knew she had nothing to worry about: She had taken care of her health problems, as well as possible, and with Shepard so close to her there simply was nothing else to fear. Syncing envirosuits was a great sign of trust among quarians, outright removing them even more so, but Tali _did_ trust Shepard fully and completely. He would never harm her.

After she had removed her rubber neckpiece, Shepard's mouth immediately began to wander down. It was a new wave of new sensations washing over her, eliciting moans from her - followed by a suppressed shriek when Shepard found the seal on her back. He looked at her again, worried, but it had been just surprise: In fact, Tali urgently wanted him to go on. To filled with passion to articulate this, she just kissed him. The seal went off, and the envirosuit opened, exposing her back. She hesitated. She had not left the protective shell of her suit in over a decade. She knew she could still stop now. Shepard would understand... but she would not forgive herself for wasting this. After all, she wanted it.

Shepard's finger tenderly stroke along her spine. It was a wonderful feeling, and Tali would not let the chance escape to feel it everywhere on her body. She began to peel her arms out of the envirosuit. It was an odd sensation to have an arm surrounded by nothing but open air for the first time in several years - however Shepard immediately took it and began to explore it with kisses and gentle caresses. It felt good. In a jerking move, she pulled further out of the envirosuit. Her entire upper body was now laid free.

She struggled between hesitation, even a shyness creeping up, and her passion, her desire to go on. Her hands automatically moved on, but Shepard stopped them. He looked at her, temporarily raising her insecurity, and said softly: "Beautiful. You're beautiful". She smiled relieved, looked at him in return, up and down, and answered whispering: "That's only fair after the view you've granted me. _You__'__re_ beautiful." He laughed softly, pulled his arms around her and pulled her very close to him. They lay now skin to skin, tightly held together. It was an overwhelming sensation for Tali, especially as Shepard still managed to make his tongue reach every part of her exposed upper body.

She returned the favour, and both her tongue and fingers were exploring his body. Another surprising sensation hit her when his lips began to reach her breasts. She groaned and grabbed his shoulders. He looked up her, smiling but hesitating. _Worrying __whether __to __go __on__. _She returned his smile and caressed his cheeks. _By__ the __ancestors__, __but__ I __do __love __him__... __oh __keelah__! _Shepard's tongue played with her breasts. Her grip on his shoulders became tighter and her moans increased.

It was amazing. So far, her body had merely been a necessity for Tali, a tool to be held in shape and a source of illness and bad feelings. To experience as a source of such good feelings was new for Tali, and it was wonderful. Her body would pay for that, she knew - but that would be later, and there was no later for her in that instant. There was only a timeless _now_ of bliss and passion.

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Tali was a glowing furnace in Shepard's arms. Quarian body temperature was higher than humans', and their heart beat faster, too. He could feel hers pulsating the blood through her body at a, for him, insane rate. It felt good to feel her like that, every single detail of her body. He was determined to explore every last centimetre of it. His entire world consisted of her body in his arms, and he wanted to offer it all the sensation he could give. Nothing else mattered.

His hands caressed her back, and his mouth was closing in on her breasts. The skin at her spine was hardened, and her breasts seemed to have some sorts of multiple, secondary nipples. According to the exobiology extranet site he had visited, both were evolutionary remissions; the former from the thick hide of better armoured ancestors, and the latter from ancestors who had in fact possessed multiple teats. But those facts were meaningless to him now, just empty words. Rather, he wanted to discover all the details himself, wanted to feel for himself these new sensations. Her smell, the feel of her skin, her long and slender tongue on his. Faintly luminescent eyes without irises looking at him, hands with three nail-less fingers touching him. Much of it was different, so many little things that were new to him. However, that only added to the alien beauty and majesty of her body.

It was not that Shepard could love Tali _despite_ the anatomical differences; rather he adored her quarian body. He was attracted to it and aroused by it. His mouth wandered down and, dedicated to let her feel as much as possible, his hands now went to her breasts. She reacted in a most agreeable way: Moaning, she began to wiggle herself out of her envirosuit, to free also her lower body from it. He stopped his kisses for a moment, to help her move a leg out of the envirosuit. He took it and began working on it. He worshipped her body, and that was a very apt thing to do: He definitely thought it worth of worship.

He continued with his kisses and touches, going over both legs, wandering upward and ending up at her inner thighs. He grinned and began to tease her most intimate area with circling, short kisses. Tali's moans turned into an inarticulate protest, causing Shepard's grin to widen. In reaction, she took his shoulders, and pulled herself beneath him. Now it was her grinning at his surprised face. They looked into each others eyes, and then suddenly, as if they had exchanged a telepathic signal, their lips met again for a passionate kiss, and their bodies pulled together tightly again.

Tali's left hand began to fumble for something on the ground next to the bed. Breathlessly, Shepard pulled apart from the kiss and looked. Her hand came up again, holding a condom. Shepard's eyes widened, but then he understood and laughed. It was indeed probably best to minimize any amount of foreign biomaterial entering her body. _How__ typical__. __She __thinks__ of __everything__. _In reaction to his laugh she looked kinda unsure. Shepard took her hand, and took the condom. "Not only beautiful, but clever and considerate as well," he whispered. "I love you."

Seconds later, the need for any words, or for even only any straight thoughts completely vanished. Two bodies that should have been separated by species, culture and duty united in defiance of all fate.

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Tali lay besides Shepard, and both were panting. After they had separated again, he had pulled her body close to his side. A satisfying exhaustion had taken hold of her. She felt utterly content, and warm and snug besides Shepard. It was a feeling of almost being bodiless. No clear thought was in her mind, just an overwhelming emotion of connection to and love for Shepard. An euphoric feeling, but as she came down from the emotional high she realized it was also a dangerous one.

They both let their bodies catch breath, and they both simply laid there for quite a while. Shepard slowly stroke her arms, and she his leg and hand, but that was just about the only movement. However, after a while, thoughts did enter Tali's mind again, unbidden and unwelcome. Eventually, she spoke up: "What now?"

At first it almost looked like she would get no answer. Only after some time did Shepard answer sluggishly: "What... do you want... now?"

"What I want..." Tali answered, equally slowly. "I want to be with you. I want this mission to succeed. I want to return in triumph to the Fleet. But I can't have that all at once." She paused. "I'm... I'm sorry. But now that I've truly _felt _how important you are to me, I dread the decision."

"You know I'll go with whatever you want," Shepard answered, but then chuckled: "But I guess that's no great help to you right now."

"Not exactly," Tali answered. "It's just..." The words for the emotional conflict that suddenly had broken out in her failed her.

Shepard's head turned around and he kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry. That's all in the future. Nearby, but still the future, and we still don't know what will happen in a few hours on Ilos."

That was true. Tali remained silent, and decided to just further enjoy Shepard's presence. However, after a while the Spectre spoke up again softly: "I don't want to force you to choose. I don't want to stand between you and the Fleet, that wouldn't be fair to you." Tali's heart made a jump, because she already half feared he'd decide on leaving her for her own sake. _He__ would __just __be__ foolishly __gallant __enough__ for __that__. _However, he went on: "But I can give you some more time to decide, maybe." He grinned. "After all, we still didn't talk about your payment for that geth data. I think a year or a half of ship service would be enough. Or you know, how long ever you need to get a clear mind and come to a decision what to do. So you could use this as an excuse to stay for a while without making a final decision."

"That explanation, that I need to do further work to earn my pilgrimage gift, would certainly work as public explanation," Tali pondered. "And the prospective of staying some months more with you is... attractive." She looked up and down his body. "_Very_ attractive."

"Is that so?" Shepard answered grinning. "Shall I show you again just how attractive?"

"I wouldn't be..." Tali began and wanted to end '_against __that __idea__'_, but she was suddenly interrupted by Joker speaking through the _Normandy__'__s_ communication system. He sounded unusually professional and serious. "Bridge to Shepard. We're five minutes out from the Mu Relay."

Shepard grunted in response. "Jeez, already?" he muttered, apparently mostly to himself. "Hrn, spoilsport. Could've flown the ship slower." And to Tali: "Of course, it was also you. You certainly made time fly by. You were _fantastic_."

"I?" Tali answered with genuine surprise. "It was you who... I never felt so _alive__._" She grabbed her envirosuit. "And now I need to get back into that."

"It may not be _much_ of a consolidation for you," Shepard replied while rolling off the bed and standing up. He looked at her and spoke softer: "But to me you'll _always_ be beautiful, with or without suit."

He helped her into the envirosuit, kissing every part of her goodbye again - for now. After a while, Tali giggled and said: "Okay. Yes. I understand you'll miss my legs and arms and belly and..."Shepard had wandered upwards from the belly "Oh keelah, stop this!" she protested under further giggling. "You really should go the CIC now. Wouldn't do if they had to drag us from the cabin."

"True," Shepard replied. "We need to defeat Saren. If only to have time to repeat this."


	34. Ch32: Ilos

**Hey there, all. Sorry for the delay. But we're finally on Ilos, and the Battle of the Citadel should soon follow! I've altered the Ilos plot somewhat to make it more coherent, but nothing big. Enjoy.**

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As Shepard walked through the crew deck of the _Normandy_, he tried to wipe a big grin off his face. Things like this were definitely something where Tali had a clear advantage, due to her face being most always hidden beneath her helmet's mask. The Spectre's body was flooded with endorphins; he felt content, happy and ready to take on the galaxy. However, it would not at all do if it became too clear how he just had spent his free hours. Not that a lot of the crew did not already suspect, but that did not mean he had to confirm it so blatantly by facial and bodily cues.

By the time he reached the CIC on the first deck he thought he had his face under control again, and his gait had changed back from a light prancing to a normal walk, too. He was again Jonathan Shepard, first human Spectre: All serious and professional. Or so he hoped, at least. It was a pity he had to return to business again so soon, but then he supposed the matter of saving the entire galaxy probably justified it. Probably.

At the CIC Pressly stood at one of the consoles around the galaxy map in the centre of the room, and watched it intensely until he noticed the Spectre. "Ah, Shepard," he said. "Just in time. There it is, the Mu Relay". He pointed vaguely to the console, but it only had a schematic map of their region of space. "The rachni were thorough, it seems. If Benezia's information hadn't been this ridiculously detailed we'd never have found it in this nebula."

"I don't know," Shepard answered light-hearted, "we have a good navigator, after all." Ever since the whole incident with Chairman Burns Pressly had been somewhat antipathetic towards Shepard. Hence it was not like he could really be 'won over' anymore, but Shepard was in high spirits and thus just felt like giving out compliments regardless.

He went on to the cockpit. Ashley, Liara, Garrus and Wrex were already standing there, making the room feel a bit overcrowded. He arrived just in time to see the nebula making way for the mass relay. Lid by the enormous amount of dark energy in its centre, it looked majestic against the backdrop of the cosmic dust around it.

"Aligning with mass relay," Joker announced as the ship went parallel to the gigantic structure, and some seconds later: "Initiating relay sequence... now."

The _Normandy_ became wrapped in blue flickering Dark Energy. A regular event, normally - but this time Shepard had no idea what to expect on the other side. Nobody did. The archaeological databanks Liara had used on the extranet indicated that the Mu Relay's counterpart had to be in the same system as Ilos itself, and pretty close to the planet's orbit, too. The general astrography of the system was known - but what enemy forces would wait for them there, what Saren would be up to, what they had to do, all that nobody knew.

"Jump concluded," Joker reported, "minimal drift, stealth systems are engaged. Reading astrographical information from the system... huh, we're in luck. Just the right time of the year, Ilos is nearby. Nearing the planet."

"Any signs of enemy activity?" Shepard asked.

"Ah, yes, Com... sir," Joker answered. "Huh, must be a popular tourist spot this time of the year, too. Picking up over a dozen geth warships in orbit."

"Then keep some distance," Shepard ordered, "if they get a visual of us our stealth won't be of any use."

"What are they doing?" Liara asked nervously.

Pressly's voice came through the communication system, though it could also faintly be heard from the CIC: "Picking up heavy use of active sensors by the geth ships. They're searching for something."

"They have no more idea where the Conduit is than we do," Garrus mused. "That has cost them their time advantage."

"Then we'll ride their tailcoats," Shepard decided grinning. "Let them do the searching. We go down where they do."

"There's one area they seem to be especially interested in," Pressly reported. "A ruin city. They seem to have spread out their forces to several strategic points there. Hm, they're probably expecting us. Only one group is really mobile."

"The one doing the actual searching", Shepard concluded. "The one with Saren, most likely. We need to intercept it. Joker, take us into the atmosphere quick and steep, drop us in the Mako, and then get away fast again from those geth," Again, as in earlier engagements, he could not risk having the ship caught on the ground or getting engaged in combat against superior numbers. "Liara, Ashley, Wrex; you will come with me. Tali, too. Sorry, Garrus, but you know the limitations of the Mako".

"I do," the turian answered. "Good luck!"

"The rest of you, gear up and meet me at the Mako!" Shepard ordered

He had not expected that battle would begin so quickly, but he was ready for it. He commed Tali and rushed to their cabin, where they both got their armour - Shepard changed into his, while Tali affixed hers to her envirosuit. Then they ran down to the ship's cargo bay. Wrex and Ashley had beaten them to there, while Liara came a moment afterward.

"I can't believe we're going to land on Ilos," she said as she entered the vehicle. "It has become a nearly mythical planet in the historians' community."

"The galaxy is at stake. Focus on the mission!" Ashley said sharply.

"Oh... right, of course," Liara answered. Shepard thought Ashley had been a bit too needlessly aggressive to the asari, but then, even she probably was not immune to the sheer nervousness they all felt, so he did not say anything.

The hangar door opened. Shepard breathed out nervously. _That's it then. Endgame. _Ilos' endless jungles could soon be seen below them. Since they made open terrain a rarity, the _Normandy_ had to fly just about two hundred metres above the surface. The drop would have to be a very accurate maneuver. Shepard trusted Joker with it, though; he was more unsure about his own skills at the Mako. Nonetheless, when the hatch was fully open, he accelerated.

The Mako fell towards the ground. _Stay __constant__, __stay __constant__, __stay __constant__. _Shepard desperately hoped not to mess up the drop, but he nonetheless managed to spot something as he came closer to the ground: Geth, still far away but advancing toward their position. The drop indeed was just at the edge of their perimeter, and battle would commence immediately.

The Mako hit the ground. Single stone cubes and rubble lay around, and everything was covered by strange, brown, alien lichens. Around them larger vegetation grew, which was just as strange to the eye. Ruined alien structures rose in some distance. Shepard drove the Mako into some thicker vegetation, right behind a stone cube, and waited for the geth to come. Insect-equivalents large as a fist hovered around the vehicle with buzzing sounds.

"This is not how the vids had showed it," Liara muttered.

Tali, who monitored the vehicle's sensors, announced: "Geth approaching. Looks like two Armatures and several light units."

Shepard remembered how he had feared battle with two Armatures back on Feros. _Not anymore, though. _He had gotten a grip on geth behaviour in battle. They were tough, but limited in tactical flexibility. As Tali explained it, geth on low-scale tactical ground missions basically were dumb, as not enough runtimes were around to strengthen the neural network. Unfortunately this did not hold for fleet actions or large-scale strategical operations, which was why the quarians had lost the war. However, in tactical engagements the geth just were not clever enough to come up with more than a few basic maneuvers. That was why it was possible to engage and defeat them even with inferior numbers. Their single tank could well take on two geth tank equivalents plus support. _And that's exactly what will happen now._

Some minutes later, the Mako drove past two smoking wrecks of geth machinery.

As they advanced, the vegetation retreated except for the ever-present lichens, and the rubble and ruins began to stand closer to each other. It was an architecture like Shepard had never seen before. Even the Prothean skyscrapers on Feros had looked nothing like this, stripped as they had been to their barest concrete fundamentals. It seemed the Protheans had a tendency towards multi-level cities. Even well below the highest heights of the local skyscraper ruins here, there seemed to be no definite ground level.

The Mako drove through an open field full of huge stone cubes and entered the ruin city. Covered in foreign vegetation they looked almost as if they were entirely made out of organic material.

"Another witness to the fall of the Protheans," Liara commented, speaking to nobody in general.

"And yet the Conduit is here," Tali replied, "These are no mere ruins."

"The fate of the galaxy is decided here," Ashley declared tensely and not without some theatrical pathos.

"Yes," Wrex agreed unmoved. "Just like on Feros, and on Noveria and on Virmire. We should be getting used to it."

"If anybody cares," Shepard interfered, "we have enemy contact!" Some heavy bipedal units approached the vehicle from some distance.

Tali looked at him. "We all trust you can handle that. Now where were we before you so rudely interrupted us?" she joked and turned to the others again.

Of course, she then immediately turned toward her instruments again. But as long as they were only up against single geth groups, everybody in the Mako was confident of victory. However, as they drove on toward where Adams suspected Saren's group to be, nervousness still grew. It was unlikely they would be defeated by the too widely dispersed geth here, but it was still possible they would come too late to stop the rogue ex-Spectre.

As the distance between the Mako and the geth group they believed to be with Saren only decreased ever so slowly, these fears grew further. Anxiety and tension rose inside the Mako as it made its way through the city, which now became more compact: Thick, grey walls of massive concrete now rose to both sides of the vehicle. It still fit through, but only just so. They encountered more geth on the way, small patrols of light units, but no larger concentrations of them. There were actually enough geth around that the team would have no chance if they were all to focus on them, but this did not not happen. It seemed they were more occupied with other issues.

"Stop!" Liara shouted. Shepard immediately did. He did not know what the asari meant but trusted her that it would be important enough.

"What is it?" Ashley asked.

"There's a Prothean terminal outside," Liara explained. "It seems to be still running."

"You can't be serious," Tali exclaimed, "How can you think about..."

"It could tell us where the Conduit is!" Liara interrupted her, and without a further word dismounted. So did Shepard and the rest of the team.

"We really shouldn't waste time on this," Ashley commented. "Saren already has a head start. We have to find the Conduit before him."

"Unless he already has found it," Tali replied. "Then we're just walking into a trap."

"That's a chance we'll have to take!" Ashley insisted.

Shepard did not pay attention to them. He watched as Liara worked on the console. An unclear holographic image hovered above the console, probably a garbled VI avatar. Suddenly, a record started playing. Most of it was not understandable, but Shepard could make out some parts.

Ashley was still in the middle of the argument when she noticed this: "It's not like we have another ch... hey, what _is _that?"

"Too late," the record said, followed by static. In fact, most of the message was lost to that. "...Unable to... invading fleets... no escape."

"Incredible," Liara whispered.

"Sounds like some kind of message," Tali said. "Too bad our translators don't understand Prothean."

"Pro...thean?" Shepard asked confused. The interferences were bad, but he had been able to understand the few properly transmitted words in the message. "I... I can understand them well enough. It's a warning against the Reapers."

"The Cipher!" Liara exclaimed. "I can understand the message as well. It must be the Cipher!"

"...not safe..." the message went on, "...seek refuge... side the archives..." _Nothing is safe. _The first thing Shepard had understood about the Cipher were the emotions. Overwhelming emotions of despair and mourning, about an entire galaxy lost to fire and destruction. Alien emotions, but primal enough that they had shaken him badly. Those emotions were coming up again as he listened to the message. "...called Reapers... the Citadel... overwhelmed... only hope..."

The sound of the static interferences changed, and so did the voice. It was sterner now, and it held no hope at all. "...act of desperation... the Conduit... all is lost..." Shepard and Liara looked uncomfortably at each other. The message went on in a desperate, almost preaching tone: "...cannot be stopped... cannot be stopped... cannot be stopped."

"We... better go," Shepard said and entered the Mako again. Tali seemed to realize how distressed he was and quickly squeezed his hand. However, Shepard was almost too lost in thoughts to appreciate it.

"What did you find out?" Ashley asked.

"It said something about the Conduit," Liara answered instead of Shepard, "but the message was too degraded to help us. We should just continue our approach toward Saren."

Wordlessly, Shepard began to drive the Mako again. Emotions from the Reaper genocide against the Protheans were in his head. _This all will be repeated if we fail. _The last words of the message dominated his thoughts. As far as Liara could tell and according to what Sovereign had said, the Reapers had invaded the galaxy over and over again, several times, always wiping out all advanced life. Nobody, it seemed, had even been able to stop them. _Cannot be stopped... cannot be stopped..._

Again, like after Virmire, he began to wonder if this was all his fault. If he had not spent so much time on the ExoGeni case, or had not alienated the Alliance with the BAaT case... _Maybe __the __whole __galaxy __is __doomed __now __because __of __my __personal __crusades__._ Not that they had not been fully justified, but still... Desperately he pushed the Mako to full throttle, both to reach Saren as fast as possible and to push this thoughts away.

His mood seemed to infect the others. It was eerily quiet inside the Mako, as it drove through ever more parts of the city, heading straight towards Saren's group of geth. They went through trenches, passed rubble and crossed a large open area with several statues. But Shepard did not pay attention to them and did not even only wonder if that was how Protheans had looked. He was too focused on getting to Saren. Even though this took frustratingly long.

"Does this city go on forever?" Ashley commented after some time.

"Be thankful it doesn't span a whole planet," Wrex reminded her of Feros.

"The Protheans tended to concentrate themselves in large cities, while they..." Liara began to lecture, but was cut off by an annoyed growl by Ashley.

Before she could say anything herself, though, Pressly spoke through the communication system: "Shepard. Saren's group has come to a halt. I think they've found what they came looking for. Several other geth groups are closing in onto your position or are trying to intercept you."

_That__'__s __what __they __were __occupied __with_. The geth had not concentrated their numbers to take on the Mako, because they still had been busy searching. Not anymore, though, which meant that most likely Saren had indeed just found the Conduit. Or at least the way to it. _...__cannot __be __stopped__..._

"You heard him," the Spectre said. "We have to get to him ASAP, or we'll be pinned down and he'll get the Conduit. We'll just break through any enemy resistance, no long engagements, so prepare for a rough ride."

"Like every time you drive the Mako?" Tali muttered.

Shepard grinned and accelerated the Mako to its maximum. But his amusement was desperate, a way to deal with his anxiety. _Cannot __be __stopped__... __Saren __has __found __the __Conduit__. And it might all be my fault. _Desperately he dashed through narrow corridors framed by rubble and stone. He did not even stop to fight geth. Even if they had time to fight them, with every geth unit not with Saren rushing towards them they'd lose if they were to stop. _Don__'__t __stand __still__, __or __you__'__ll __die__. _Not that this would greatly matter if Saren reached the Conduit first. _...__cannot __be __stopped__..._

Driven by this horror vision, Shepard sped the Mako up. He knew what the tank could take. It flipped over several times, but the Spectre simply always continued. Neither rubble nor geth nor even cliffs in the architecture could stop his wild dash. When two Armatures appeared in front of him, he simply bolted through one and kept going. Everybody was roughly shaken in this wild ride, but nobody said a word. They all knew what was at stake.

Thus, after some time Tali announced coolly and professional, as if the vehicle had not just so barely avoided another 360° flip: "Target enemy group ahead."

Several tank-level and bipedal geth units stood in front of a massive entrance to a large, vast and by the looks of it mostly subterranean structure. _A bunker, most likely. _In fact, the entrance's stone door was just closing. _Closing again. Saren has entered it. Is the Conduit inside?_

Shepard began firing as soon as he had closed the distance to the geth, with the Mako still at full speed. For the first time on the planet, he had real trouble in combat with the geth. The enemy held massive numerical superiority and tried to keep him away from the door Saren had just passed at every price. It took a drawn out, time robbing battle all over the place until the geth were downed, and the Mako took quite a beating.

Worst of all, it gave the other geth units nearby a chance to close up to them. When the Mako came to a halt again, Shepard checked the sensors: They would soon be in trouble again. He also got a closer look at the bunker and its now barred entrance. He did not even want to consider just how thick the walls and the door were.

"I do not think we will get past that door with brute force," Liara commented.

"We'll have to try!" Ashley replied aggressively.

Shepard grinned lopsided. "That's just what I had in mind. The Mako's cannon is big enough that we can at least attempt to shoot our way through."

"But... what if the bunker collapses?" Liara asked nervously.

"Then we'll have denied Saren access to the Conduit," Shepard answered, "_He_ wants it. We only do because he does." He took another look at the sensors. "Tali, take the helm and pound the door. Everybody else, dismount. Seems like we'll have to hold our position for some time. Defend the Mako at all costs!"

The Mako's main gun began to thunder as Shepard exited the vehicle. The first few shots merely chiselled away some stone splinters, but slowly and gradually some progress could be seen. However, then the geth arrived.

Not occupied with searching the ruins for the Conduit anymore, they now had only one aim: To stop and kill Shepard and his team. And while the _Normandy_ was relatively safe due to its stealth capabilities, the Mako and the squad had no such protection. The first wave of geth units were just light bipedal units. The squad made a stand around the Mako and defeated them easily. But then Geth Armatures, Geth Destroyers, and hordes of other units appeared.

Liara's biotics flared up, Ashley's assault rifle fired and Wrex even entered into close combat with some geth units. And yet, there was only so much they could do against the enemy's numerical superiority. Worse yet, missiles began to pound on the Mako. Apparently there were now enough geth together that the neural network could correctly determine their primary target. Tali did her best to keep the tank out of harm's way, but there was only so much she could do while at the same time maintaining the fire against the bunker. If the Mako were to break down, they would all be lost. Shepard would then have to order the _Normandy_to do a bombing run on the bunker, which would certainly be a suicide mission, given the geth fleet in orbit, and one with unclear chances of success, too. And the life of the squad would be forfeited anyway.

_Cannot __be __stopped__... _Shepard pushed those thoughts away. He had a battle to win. Or at least to withstand. The question was just what would break first: The Mako, or the door the vehicle was still firing at? Smoke rose over the tank, but on the other hand, the door already looked battered, too, and shock waves went through the bunker's outer walls at every further shot. Still, simply defending the Mako would not be enough. And besides, he had no intention to let Tali get killed inside there.

"Wrex, with me!" he ordered. He had spotted an Armature on a nearby platform, placed perfectly to fire at the Mako but without any cover by other units. It was time to take the fight to the geth.

He and the krogan ran towards a pile of rubble leading upwards to the platform. They used some of the stones there as a temporary cover against some Geth Troopers trying to intercept them, and then stormed upward. Unfortunately, the Armature was already expecting them. _Well__, __at __least __it__'__s __not __firing __on __the __Mako __anymore__. _Shepard released a biotic push which only made the geth tank stagger a bit, but that bought him enough time to run for cover. The Armature turned toward him, but that was when Wrex appeared, firing and presenting a much juicier target. The tank shifted its focus, which in turn allowed Shepard to go on attacking. Eventually both him and Wrex just stormed forward, running around the Armature and even beneath it.

_Thank __god __so __few __other __runtimes __are __nearby__. __That __beast __is __dumber __than __the __Council__'__s __policy __on __the __Terminus__. _He moved freely beneath the metal belly of the Armature, and it was too stupid to fight him effectively.

"Shepard!" Wrex shouted, "Get away from there, it's going down." And so the Armature was. Shepard looked upwards: Smoke came pouring out of several parts of it, and its movements became shaky. He ran. He heard an explosion above him; the beast's white hull flashed up in his peripheral vision - than he felt a force rapidly pushing him forward. He landed painfully on the ground, but had escaped the Armature's collapse.

Still groggy he stood up and looked around. A blue glow receded from Wrex' hands.

"Jon?" That was Tali, through the communicator "Come to the Mako _now__, _the way is open!"

The Spectre sighed – _Can't I get a break? _- but then waved Wrex to follow him and ran again. His left side hurt, and he was exhausted, but he just kept pushing himself on. _Cannot be stopped... _ He nearly fell down the rubble they had used to reach the platform, and had to come to a halt at its base. He saw that the Mako was hardly in any better shape than the Armature they had left behind - it, too, was surrounded by smoke, and its formerly pristine hull was now torn and devastated. He had to suppress a manic chuckle. _And it we just acquired it, too... _Then he caught himself and ran the remaining meters to the tank, which was already starting to go. Wrex reached the open door before him, and he and Ashley pulled him in.

"The geth are still following us," Tali greeted him. "We have no chance if we don't find a way to get rid of them." She was fully professional and concentrated on her task, and despite the desperate situation she sounded very calm.

_And then the whole galaxy burn... but _this _we _can _stop... _He looked outside. The Mako had entered a subterranean tunnel. Its lights illuminated strange looking roots and other organic matter Shepard could not identify, and really did not want to, either. The whole scenery looked rather creepy. "Turn the cannon around and fire at the ceiling. We're collapsing it."

"What?" Liara and Ashley exclaimed nearly simultaneously. Wrex grunted. Tali said nothing.

"Either we can create a barrier that way," Shepard explains, "or we'll bury Saren here alongside us. That would fulfil the mission, too." And quieter: "Though I _would_ like to actually see my success."

"Then let's hope it's the former," Tali said calmly and fired.

Dust began to rain from above and some shots later the first chunks came crushing down. A tremor shock wave went through the walls, and then part of the ceiling collapsed. Everybody held their breath - but the collapse stopped and remained localized. As Shepard had planned, the entrance to the bunker had been sealed by rubble. A collective sigh of relief went through the Mako.

The primitive looking entrance of the bunker soon made way for more technological looking surroundings. The Mako entered a corridor with a very high ceiling and with wall that made it look somewhat like the interior of a factory, not very different to what one could find in industrial areas on Earth or Terra Nova. The only odd thing about it were some sorts of tubes or round containers sticking out at various places.

"I thought Saren would have set some kind of trap or ambush for us," Ashley said. "They must have been in too much of a hurry."

"Or we just haven't run into it yet," Wrex answered.

"Don't jinx it, you two," Shepard said.

The corridor went on and on. After a while, Ashley spoke up again: "What are those things on the wall? Some kind of containers?"

"They look like stasis pods," Liara replied. "Incredible. The Protheans must have tried to keep themselves alive through cryogenic freezing. So... this bunker might have been the last refuge of their whole species! This is amazing." The asari got ever more enthusiastic and now spoke in one go, without pause or interruption. "I've spent my whole life studying the Protheans, but I never thought I could find anything like this. Just imagine what mysteries it might hold! Imagine what secrets it might reveal!"

"You might want to remember why we're here," Tali answered, very dryly but by now Shepard knew her sense of humour. "You know, such issues as Saren, the Conduit and, oh, the fate of the entire galaxy."

That was true, of course, but Shepard had to admit, it was good to hear Liara that way again, with the same unbridled and somewhat naive enthusiasm she had possessed when she had first come aboard. Before she had gone through several battles, before they had been forced to kill her mother.

"I'm sorry," Liara apologized, "I was swept up in the moment. I just hope we have the opportunity to study this place in detail once we're done."

"I wouldn't bet on it," Wrex commented.

"And of course the krogan with his uplifting comments again," Ashley complained, "I can't believe..."

"Ahem," Tali made herself heard. "We have a problem here." She gestured forward, showing the problem: The tunnel split into three.

"Okay. This is bad," Ashley commented.

"Subterranean tunnel networks were not unknown to the Protheans," Liara said, "And if this facility really holds an entire colony in cryogenic stasis it makes sense that it is not just a single tunnel. So it might be there are a lot more forks and crossings than this, actually." She paused. "And we have no idea which ones Saren used."

"I'm picking up an energy signal from deeper within the tunnels," Tali said. "It doesn't look geth in origin, though."

"Could it be the Conduit?" Shepard asked.

"That's what I was thinking," Tali replied.

"Well, in any case, it's all we have, so try to go for it!" Shepard ordered.

The bunker's network of tunnels turned out to be vast and complex indeed. Apparently, they had indeed 'stored' the population of an entire major colony here. Noticeably, though, some sections were lacking light or appeared to be in a state of bad disrepair. _Come to think of it, just how _were_ the other parts maintained this well over 50,000 years?_

Strangely, they encountered no geth. Tali still sat the driver's seat, and she drove the Mako at full speed towards the mysterious energy signal. Since there was no hostile resistance and since the tunnels were comfortably broad enough, it was nonetheless a smooth ride. The only thing disturbing this strange peace was everybody's tension, the fear that Saren might already have gotten to the Conduit.

Finally, Tali brought the Mako to a halt. "The energy signal comes from here," she announced. "To be exact, from beyond that small door to our side."

"So, is it the Conduit?" Ashley asked.

"I detect no geth here," Tali answered. "If it was the Conduit, I think they'd already be here. They can pick up that signal as well as we do, after all."

"Still, we have no other hint, and we don't have the time to go through the entire tunnel network," Shepard said. "Let's see what's behind that door."

As it turned out, it was an elevator door. The elevator, strangely enough still working after 50,000 years, brought them to a vast, open hall, stretching in all directions from them. The walls, reaching far above and far down below them were full of stasis pods. However, roots and soil had entered this hall, too, so that it in parts looked almost like a natural cavern. A sort of bridge spanned it, leading towards a terminal standing right beneath an especially large root. A holographic light flickered there, similar to the damaged hologram they already had encountered earlier. This one seemed to have fared not much better: There was light, but did not actually depict anything. It was just flickering, orange light.

However, it seemed the important parts of the system were in fact still working: "You are not Prothean. But you are not machine either." The synthetic voice came from the terminal. "This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons."

"What is it saying, Jon?" Ashley asked. "Looks like some sort of VI program. If very battered up."

Shepard grinned lopsidedly. Apparently the Cipher in his mind meant he did not even _notice_ when he understood Prothean. "It's a greeting," he told her. "It still seems to work well enough."

"I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you," the VI went on. "Unlike the others that passed recently. Perhaps there still is hope."

"Others?" Shepard asked. "Saren was here?"

"The one you call Saren was here," the VI confirmed. "Together with his machine servants. They want to undo everything we have achieved here. To stop them, you must know what is at stake. You must break a cycle that has gone on for millions of years. And you can only do that if you understand it, or you will make the same mistakes we did."

Liara, understandably, looked amazed by the prospect of that, but Shepard was a bit suspicious. "Just who are you? And what is this facility?" he asked.

"I'm Vigil," the VI answered. "I'm an advanced non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, chief overseer of the Ilos Research Facility. That is where you are. You're safe here for the moment. But that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

"All right," Shepard said, "What do you have to tell me?"

"We do not have much time," Vigil replied. "I will show it to you."

An energy beam came out of the terminal behind the damaged hologram and rose Shepard into the air. _And __here __we __go __again__... _

In what almost was just a single instant, Shepard saw _everything_ he needed to know. The necessary information seemed to be uploaded directly to his mind. He saw the Citadel, and massive fleets of alien dreadnoughts rushing through it. The Citadel was not just a Reaper built space station - it was their main mass relay to dark space, the path of their invasion. He saw the Keepers inside the Citadel - small, seemingly benign creatures the Reapers in truth used so that no race would search for the true origin of the Citadel. And he saw how they activated the Citadel mass relay, prompted by the Citadel itself. The Reapers came out and in a single strike destroyed the entire Prothean central government and main fleet.

All over the galaxy, the mass relays, controlled by the Citadel now in Reapers hands, went dark. The single Prothean systems became isolated and easy prey for the Reapers. Systematically they wiped out one after the other, killing most people and turning the rest into indoctrinated slaves they used to strip the planets barren of any resources of technology. This was different from the beacon visions: This time he saw a detached, analytic view on it, not a desperate plea full of alien emotions.

Then he saw Ilos. A secret project had been located here, aimed at developing the first Prothean made mass relay. It would be a miniature version of the original relays found among the stars. And in this instant his mind knew what it was: The Conduit, a small mass relay leading to the Citadel. Saren had never been searching for a weapon, but for a backdoor to the station! And because this project had been so secret, all knowledge of it had been destroyed in the Reaper takeover of the Citadel. Thus the Ilos Protheans had been able to build up the cryogenic chambers, undetected by the Reapers. However, the Reapers had stayed for centuries, and energy was dwindling. Vigil, designed to supervise the facility, had been forced to shut down more and more stasis pods, until only the top scientists remained.

Normally, Shepard would have been angry about that but right now that was just a small detail in the instant explosion of knowledge in his mind. He saw the Prothean scientists getting to work again. They worked for years, for decades, fully knowing that their species was doomed. And then they used the Conduit to get to the Citadel. There they manipulated the Citadel's control program. And then he saw Sovereign - and when he sent the code to the Citadel for the Keepers to open the mass relay, nothing happened.

Over decades it sought ally after ally, servant after servant to find out just what happened. And after he knew, there was still one problem: How to get one of its agents into the Citadel. At first Saren had sought the Conduit to solve the mystery, but now he had come to use it the same way the Prothean scientists had - as a backdoor into the Citadel. And once there, he would rewrite the Citadel's control program yet again, this time to allow for the return of the Reapers.

The vision ended, and Shepard landed on the ground again. This time, he managed to land gracefully on one knee and quickly got up again. Nonetheless, he was helped by Tali, who apparently had already waited for the transmission of information to end.

_Cannot be stopped... _but this time there was hope. He had seen it in the vision. He stepped forward to the console, which opened and revealed an optical disk. It would serve much the same aim Saren had: To take control over the Citadel. Just that the Prothean program would of course keep the relay shut and the Keepers out of the Reapers' reach.

„The one you call Saren is trying to activate the Conduit," Vigil said. „His machine servants are connecting it to a power source of their design. But they cannot fully control the Conduit. Hurry. It will take him some time to open the Conduit. If you're fast enough, you will be able to follow him."

Shepard nodded and turned around without another word. The rest, not knowing what he had seen, looked confused, but followed.


	35. Ch33: Battle of the Citadel

Shepard was walking briskly back to the Mako. Tali and the others had to hurry to keep pace with him. Whatever he had just learned it seemed he had a new destination. This time, he took the driver's seat, so Tali went to her usual place at the co-driver's seat. She did not like how battered the vehicle looked. She had managed to get its shield generators working again, but after the disastrous battle with the geth at the entrance to the bunker she did not put much trust in its structural integrity anymore.

"Tali, keep searching for geth energy sources," Shepard ordered.

She looked at him oddly, but then set the senors to focus on known geth signatures. So far they had picked up no geth signals inside the bunker, so she wondered what Shepard intended. He accelerated the Mako as if he knew where he wanted to go. Tali was immensely curious just what he had seen in his vision. It was clear he had seen one; the pattern had been the same as when he had found the beacon on Virmire or, as she had been told, the beacon on Eden Prime. For now, though, she was content to follow orders. Apparently Shepard thought there still was a way to stop Saren, and that was good enough for now.

They passed some more forks and crossings of the bunker's tunnel network, but Shepard seemed to know where to go. He drove the Mako onwards without hesitation. And after some time, he explained what he had seen: The original purpose of the Citadel, the Reapers' plans, the Prothean's foil to them and how Saren was now trying to undo all this. And most importantly what they could do to stop Saren. Liara became quite excited by all these revelations, so much that Tali already nearly feared for her health.

After a while, they reached a hole in the bunker wall, leading to the outside city again. "Oh what the hell," Ashley cursed, "Why did we have a big battle with the geth at that damn door if we could just have... oh you know what? Nevermind. I've come to accept it. The universe _hates_ us."

_An apt __description__. _However, Tali had no time to comment on it, as there was something more urgent: "Geth signals ahead of us. Bipedal and tank-level units."

"Well, we're on the right way it seems," Shepard commented. "But still..."

"If they try to power up the Conduit with a geth energy source I _will_ pick it up," Tali reassured him, correctly guessing what he meant.

It appeared that the ceiling of part of the bunker network had collapsed, laying its tunnels open. Filled with rain water, they now resembled small brooks. The one they used seemed rather like a water slide, as it went straight down. At the bottom of it, they met the geth.

"Ah, finally. I already felt lonely without them," Tali joked.

"At least they're a hint we're on the right path," Shepard remarked. He then proceeded to demolish his signposts.

Earlier, when it seemed likely that they would come too late to stop Saren, Shepard's negative mood had further depressed everybody. Now the effect seemed to be reversed: It was clear Shepard trusted what he had seen, what that strange Prothean VI had told and shown him. He believed there was a chance again, and the rest of the team picked up on this. It reinvigorated the team: Everybody was now eager again to do their part. Tali certainly knew she was ready to do hers. Saren would be stopped. Now that this was a possibility again, she simply _knew_ so. And even if not, she would fight to the last for that.

After some time, she was not quite sure anymore if they were driving through collapsed tunnels, or maybe former water canals or whatever. It were simply open corridors with water at the ground. Shepard still seemed to know where to go, though, and as long as they now and then still encountered geth, they probably were on the right track indeed.

_Saren better be careful... _She noticed something on the sensors that cut her out of her self-congratulatory thoughts: "Energy spike detected! It's geth." And after a short while: "A second energy spike, unknown configuration... they've opened the Conduit!"

"We gotta hurry!" Ashely stated needlessly.

"More geth ahead!" announced Tali.

The Mako entered combat with some bipedal units approaching them. They were not a threat, but time was of the essence. Tali knew what the opening of the Conduit meant: A time window had started. They had to follow Saren through to the Citadel, and now was the time to do so. However, the Conduit still seemed to be in some distance. The Mako drove through tunnels and canals, around corners and down slopes, passed rubble and roots. _As __long __as __the __Conduit __is __still __open __that__'__s __not __a __problem_, Tali tried to calm herself. _Though __it __is __problematic __how __much __of __a __head __start __Saren __will__ retain__..._

Finally, Shepard drove around a corner and came to a further slope downwards. And beyond it something grand reached towards the sky - a mass relay, but a thousand times smaller than any mass relay Tali had ever seen. The Conduit. She found it beautiful. Her people had always appreciated the beauty of the mass relays - _funny __to __think __about __how __we __never __appreciated __Prothean __design__but __Reaper __design_- and this heavenward built structure surrounded by timeless Prothean ruins made for quite a scenery. However, Tali's primary focus remained on checking the sensors.

"Energy signatures diminishing," she reported. "It's closing again!"

"Fuck!" Shepard cursed. Tali could only agree: He already was driving at the highest speed the tank offered, and the path downwards had Armatures standing on both sides. He started a wild dash...

"Missile... Missile..." Ashley warned "Fuck!"

...rushed downward towards the Conduit...

"Shields down!" Tali reported

...faced half a dozen Armatures on the final metres...

"We're hit!" Liara said, while Tali observed: "Energy is fading, it's closing"

….and started the Mako's jets. In a final jump they reached the Conduit. Dark Energy enveloped them - and then everything went blinding white. Tali felt light and free. _Almost __like __those __heavenly __ascension legends __from __human __mythology..._

However, only a moment she felt like she had been hit everywhere at once. She realized that it had been herself - her own regained mass. A flash of blue hit her otherwise still blinded eyes. And then the world around her began to tumble. She was thrown around in the Mako, which seemed to have hit something and flipped over several times. Finally, it came to a rest.

When her visual senses had fully returned, Tali saw Liara lying across her. In fact, she was kind of jammed between the asari and the the Mako's electronic console, which was emitting sparks. It seemed Shepard already had managed to orientate himself: He crawled out of the single still operable door and waved the others to follow him. It was an arduous task, but finally they all stood outside. Tali was glad Wrex had not fallen on anybody.

What she saw outside the vehicle was the Citadel; the Presidium to be exact, but not like any previous time she had seen it. It was dark, lit only by widespread fires. She could make out the shadows of geth units running towards them. And as she turned around she could also see where they had come from - _the Relay monument! No monument but the counterpart of the Conduit!_

The sudden arrival of the team went too far beyond the capacities of the neural network present to quickly calculate and analyze it; the geth were sluggish and even more predictable than usual. But Tali only needed to look around to see ever more of them. _What __happened __here__? __Saren __did __not __bring __such __a __large __army __with __him__._ And she also saw something else. She grabbed Shepard's arm and said: "Look"

"What... what is it, Tali?" Shepard asked.

Above their heads was the other side of the Presidium. That was how it had always been. But there was still something missing. No starlight came through, even though with the all lights having failed the stars should have been very easy to see. And after a while Shepard, too, realized that. There was no grand overview over the Wards out to the Serpent Nebula. Rather, there was an array of electronic lights filling the sky - the Wards. "They have closed the arms," Shepard realized.

"What happened here?" Tali wondered again. "Has Saren already won control of the station?"

"Seems so," Shepard answered. "But regardless, we'll fight. If he wins, everything is lost anyway. Come on, to the Council Chamber."

"Oh geez," Ashley muttered. "We'll use that elevator? The one that takes half an eternity to the Council Chamber? Wonderful!"

The elevator ride indeed turned out to be as slow as always. So Tali and the rest were forced to just stand around and do nothing while the elevator went up in a mind-numbing snail's pace. Tali did not even want to think about just what Saren could do in the meantime. If he were successful, than this would be the end. Palaven, Earth, Thessia would get destroyed. So would the Migrant Fleet. _Do __I __get __to __see __home __again__?_

She had not even noticed how her fingers had begun dancing around each other, as they often did when she was nervous. That was an old habit of hers. What was a rather new habit was the reaction that these days followed: Her hand was taken and lightly squeezed. She looked up and saw Shepard now at her side. They remained so for a while - until the elevator slammed to a halt. The sudden stop of motion had everybody staggering. When they had found their composure again Tali realized they had come to a stand still at not even half the Citadel Tower's height.

"I told you this thing is bad luck," Ashley complained.

"It's Saren," Tali said. "Has to be. He probably has locked the elevator down. So, what now?"

Shepard looked from one member of the squad to the next and then finally announced: "We're equipped to deal with this. Magnetize your boots and adjust your suit's mass effect field; we'll walk up the tower."

_Walking __up __the __tower__?_ The idea made sense, thinking about it, but it certainly was nothing that would have occurred to Tali. She made the necessary adjustments to her suit, as did everybody else. Shepard fired the glass front of the elevator open. Single shards slowly whirled away against the backdrop of the closed Citadel arms. A moment later she took the jump forward and landed in a 90° angle on her feet, standing horizontally.

While she was firmly affixed to the Citadel Tower's wall, it was not like she could not feel the Presidium's gravity (partly mass effect field generated, partly centrifugal force) anymore. That still drew her downwards. She could lessen the effect somewhat by using her suits own mass effect generator. The same held true for the others. In fact that was the only thing that would allow them to walk up straight against the downward pull. However, they all could invest only so much energy in that, as most of the mass effect generator's energy would still be needed to create their kinetic barriers. So it would still be an arduous way up.

It was a somewhat strange sensation, since it could still clearly be felt that they all stood in the horizontal. However, Tali had done enough work in zero g that 3d orientation was no problem for her. The Alliance had probably trained Shepard and Ashley in it, and Wrex had centuries of experience to draw on from. Only Liara looked like she had some trouble.

The ascent began. Tali had never paid attention to the details of the Citadel Tower's walls, but now that she was walking on them she noticed that they had an architecture of their own. It were not just straight walls; left and right of their 'way' various structures 'rose above' their heads, and at other points they even had a 'ceiling' above their heads, too. It was almost like walking in a vertical city. A vertical city with the Citadel arms as sky. Which they had entered to fight a traitor possessed by an evil spirit, or else he would summon demons from dark space. Tali wondered just when exactly she had entered a clan grandfather's mythical legend. _At least I got the Warrior Prince. _

They had kept close to the elevator shaft so far. Suddenly, the elevator darted beyond them, and came to a stop some metres in front of them. Tali grabbed her gun. Glass splintered, and geth emerged from the elevator. Of course, only light bipedal units could fit into the elevator, but combat was still problematic: It was as much an uphill battle as physically possible. Also, the geth used the elevator to bring in ever more reinforcements. The squad had to fight their way upward.

"Too many..." Liara muttered.

"No such thing," Shepard answered. "We can't retreat anyway. If Saren opens the Citadel relay it won't matter if we die here or will die later." He sounded inappropriately aggressive, but then he, too, had to crawl up a tower while fighting ever more geth. Showing nerves was excusable under these circumstances.

"Could be worse," Wrex remarked. "What if they had a proper elevator here? Still want to condemn the one we got, Williams?"

Tali could not quite hear the marine's response, but she could guess what it was about. Human languages seemed to have such a fascination with curses of either religious, sexual or scatological nature. She supposed it was a good thing that at least Wrex nearly always remained calm. _Then __again__, __knowing __our __luck__, __maybe __Saren __has __some __rachni __here__, __too__. _

As the battle continued Shepard gradually led the team away from the elevator shaft. There was no way they would be able to win against an ever continuing stream of enemy reinforcements. After a time, they managed to disentangle from the geth and to find another 'path' leading upward. However, after a while on it, they encountered geth barriers there.

"So they are here, too?" Liara said. "Goddamn!"

Everybody's head whirled around. Liara realized what she had said, and her cheeks tended a little bit towards a darker blue. _I __guess __you __pick up __such __language __on __a __military __ship__. __Especially __with __Ashley __and __Jon __around__. _In any case, the asari was right: _How __can __it __be __there __are__already __geth __here__, __too__? __For __long __enough __to __set __up __the __barriers__, __too__. __They __can__'__t __have __arrived __here __by __the __elevator__. _

The synthetics had placed the barriers at a tactial choke point. _Strange __as __it __is __to __think __of __a __feature __in __a __wall __as __such__. _It took a frustrating amount of time to root out their resistance. They seemed to get reinforcements from somewhere, even though the elevator was in the back of the squad. The squad finally could break through, towards a large open space, a comparatively even part of the wall. Just as they reached it even more geth were arriving.

"A dropship!" Liara pointed out. She was right. A geth dropship was in the air, transporting geth to the 'frontline'. _This explains it, but... a geth dropship? Here? _It seemed there had been a greater invasion than just Saren's troops pouring through the Relay 'Monument'. And Tali had to admit that actually made her scared. Not only were there geth everywhere, not only did Saren have a head start, not only was he apparently in control of the station - but it seemed there also had been a 'conventional' geth invasion alongside it. _Can we still salvage this? _

Storming around a corner, the next big shock hit them. A humongous, strange looking machine of sorts loomed at the top of the Tower. At first it seemed like a giant mechanical tentacle, but then Tali realized what it was. Liara had been quicker, though. "Sovereign", she whispered.

_Sovereign __is __here__. _Sovereign, a geth invasion, and Saren in control of the Citadel. Tali began to doubt if she would come out of this alive. _But __maybe __we __can __at __least __thwart __their __plans__. _And it seemed Ashley had similar ideas: "I still owe that bastard for Eden Prime," she said. "Let's go kill his turian puppet."

Tali was not sure if saying that about a kilometres long mechanical monstrosity was bravado, desperation or plain madness, but she appreciated the combat morale. Shepard, meanwhile, seemed to think a bit more pragmatically. "The tower's defence turrets are ahead," he said while pressing himself against a wall for cover. "We should use them against that dropship."

"Those turrets have not been used in centuries!" Liara exclaimed. "I'm not even sure we can get them to work."

"That'll be Tali's job then," Shepard said. "Let's run for it!"

_Thank __you __so __much__, _Tali thought sarcastically, but of course he was right. With Garrus absent, she was the only tech expert in the team. She had not even known the Citadel Tower had defence guns, and wondered what for exactly. Liara's exclamation had implied they once had been fired at all, but usually the Citadel's enemies never actually reached the station. At least not these days. _Could __those__ '__centuries __ago__' __have __been __the __rachni __wars__? __I __wonder __what __the __electronics __are __like __then__. _

The space ahead of them was uncomfortably open. The squad made a wild dash through it. Bullets were darting all around them, geth units came charging towards them, and the dropship provided additional fire support. The squad's shields took a heavy beating until they could find cover behind one of the turrets again. Tali immediately set to work. The software was indeed like nothing she had ever worked with, but thankfully somebody had slapped a relatively modern user interface onto it. Besides, quarians were used to working with ancient technology.

She knew the battle around her of course went on, but she remained only very partially aware of that. She was fully focused on the arcane, ancient electronics in front of her. She trusted that the other four would be able to keep her safe long enough for her to do her work. Normally, the guns were supposed to be fired from some central command post. However, it appeared that was a later addition to the programs; the gun's electronics were perfectly capable of taking manually entered orders. Tali wondered just how many layers of additional changes they had undergone over time.

Beating the shackles on the console was relatively easy. Probably everybody in the squad could have done it. _Well__, __maybe __except __for __Jon__... _She managed to activate the guns auto-targeting system and let it fire. "Let's move on," she told the squad, and went to the next gun. From there things went surprisingly fast. When she activated the third gun, the dropship, already hammered by two of them, tried to start and retreat. However, it did not come far.

A well placed shot ripped apart the ship's underside. Explosions spread throughout its structure, covering it in an aura of blue fire. It veered off course right and left. Finally it went totally out of control and fell towards the closed Wards. Tali watched it getting smaller and smaller in her vision - and then saw a blaze at the Wards. It was only a small illuminated dot to her, but she knew how big the ship had been, and how big the explosion hence must have been. And she also knew how densely populated the wards were.

"Oh keelah..." she muttered, terrified. Shepard had seen it, too. Just as terrified he whispered: "Good god!"

There was no time for mourning or for considering what they might have caused. There were still geth all around them. But while Tali fought them, part of her mind could not let go of the question of just how many people she might just have seen perish. _At __least __we__'__re __nearly __there__. __Nearly __at __the __top__. _She hoped she would not have to witness anything like that again.

It took passing more open 'space', more geth barriers and even a geth turret, but finally they found what they had come for - a hatch into the Council chambers. _Let__'__s __hope __this __was __worth __it__. _

Just like the outside, on the Presidium, the Council Chamber was only dimly lit by several fires. Most trees in its small park areas were burning, as were several electronic panels. It stood to reason that as always the geth must have used overwhelming force to secure the place, with no regard to collateral damage. _Just __as __back __in __the __war__. __Just __as __they__'__ve __destroyed __every __ship __entering __the __Veil __since __then__. __Murderous __monsters__. _In fact if it had not been for them, there would have been no casualties in the Wards, either. Or at least, so she tried to rationalize what had happened.

There were some geth among the burning trees, and on the stairs upward to the 'bridge' of sorts where petitioners to the Council normally spoke. However, it seemed Saren had left only a small guard of his synthetic worshippers behind. Tali could see him - the aforementioned bridge had somehow been extended all the way to the Council's usual place, and that was where he was standing. He seemed fully concentrated on working on a large holographic interface screen. _He__'__s __opening __the __Citadel __relay__! _she assumed, shocked. She was ready to storm toward him, but Shepard raised a hand and gestured everybody to wait. Instead of starting an open assault, he led the team from cover to cover. Saren had not once looked away from his screen even during the fight; apparently Shepard's hope was that he would be too focused on it to notice their approach.

The squad assembled in cover only some metres away from Saren, at the bottom of the stairs to the bridge. Tali watched Shepard intensely, waiting for his signal. Saren had already beaten them once on Virmire. Now was the time for payback. She just hoped they did not come too late.

Shepard gave the signal. The squad stood up and charged forward - only to find that Saren apparently had vanished. His holographic screen was still in the air, but he was nowhere to be seen. Confused and a bit desperate Tali looked around. _What __in __ancestors__' __name __is__ going __on__? _Suddenly, she caught a motion at the periphery of her vision. She turned around and saw Saren on his anti-grav board - _Ancestors __damn __that __thing__! _ - emerging from below the bridge. Before she could raise her gun, the turian threw a grenade, right into the squad. All that Tali could do was jump away from it, fast.

000000

Shepard had never thought it very likely that Saren could be surprised like he had planned, but it had been a worth a try. He had anticipated being expected by him. What he had absolutely not anticipated was him first 'vanishing' for all practical purposes and then turning up on that thrice damned hover board.

Whatever Shepard had in fact thought disappeared when he saw Saren threw the grenade. Pure instincts took over, and he dove for cover. As did everybody else. However, while Ashley, Tali and him had military training, Liara did not. And her experience so far was also far shorter than Wrex'. So her instincts were just not as drilled yet. She jumped last - and was thrown away mid-air by the explosion's shockwave.

"Liara!" Tali cried out. The asari was in great pain. She moaned and tried to drag herself to safety, but was unable to move her legs and her arms seemed to be too weak. Shepard was desperately looking for an opportunity to get her to safety, but with Saren still controlling the scene there currently was no way to do it. He remained in cover behind a planter.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard," Saren's said from above in the air.

"I'd hate to disappoint," Shepard answered through clenched teeth. "Your worshippers delayed me, so I had to wipe them out first. A couple hundreds of them."

"You've lost. You know that, don't you?" Saren boasted. "In a few moments Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return."

_Whatever__. _Shepard had no intention to trade words with the turian. Normally he just shot his opponents instead of listening to them. He looked for a way to get Liara to safety, and to head for that master control panel Saren had opened. However, unfortunately the rogue ex-Spectre still had 'air superiority'. _And __he __just __won__'__t __shut __up__! _Indeed he went on: "You survived our encounter on Virmire. But I've changed since then. Improved. Sovereign has... upgraded me."

_What__? _This did get Shepard to speak up again: "You let Sovereign implant you? Are you insane?"

"The implants make me a stronger person," Saren claimed. "They heighten my willpower and resolve. That's why Sovereign implanted me. I believe in it completely. I understand the Reapers need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you."

"You believe in it after the implantation?" Shepard repeated. "How convenient. Don't you see Sovereign uses the implants to control you?"

"The relationship is symbiotic," Saren said. "Organic and machine, intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of _all_ organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth."

"Like the Prothean Reaper servants?" Shepard shot back "You talked to Vigil. You know the Reapers had servants among the Protheans, too. Where are they now? The Reapers just finished their invasion and left their indoctrinated slaves too die. They use and discard organics. _That__'__s_ your future!"

"I have no choice!" Saren exclaimed. "We both know what there is to know. _You_ saw the visions. _You_ know what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful. Surrender or die, there is no other choice!" He sounded wild and desperate. _He __probably __is__._ Shepard wondered how much of his old self there still was.

_Time __to __risk __something__._ He rolled sidewards from his cover and stood straight in full view of Saren. Tali tried to stop him, but he shrugged her of. Instead, he looked right into the rogue ex-Spectre's face and spoke: "If we surrender, if the Reapers win, then none of us will survive." And indeed, Saren did not shoot, but seemed to listen. _He__'__s __still __hoping __there __might __be __a __chance__, __any __chance__. __He __hopes __I __can __present __it __to __him__. _"Our only chance is resisting them. It doesn't matter how small our chances are, it's all we have if we want to survive!"

"The Protheans tried!" Saren shot back aggressively. "We can't stop the Reapers forever! Nobody can! The Cycle just goes on and on." Behind Shepard, Ashley and Wrex took the cue, left their cover and dragged Liara away. Saren did not react. It sounded like he very much _wanted_ Shepard to find a fault in his logic.

And Shepard did: "The Prothean leaders and most of their fleet were wiped out in a surprise attack. When the Reapers came through the Citadel relay. We can prevent that. It's not too late yet. We could be the first people in the Cycle with a fair fighting chance!"

"Yes..." Saren whispered. "We could be... Urgh!" He emitted an animal sound of massive pain. "The implants" he managed to say, pressed. "Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry, it's too late for me... It..." It was obvious how much he struggled.

_Now__ i__s __the __chance__. _Shepard raised his gun and began to fire. It was good that Saren finally saw reason, but he could not gamble the fate of the entire galaxy on him winning his inner fight with Sovereign. Besides, it was not like he had any respect for Saren even in his un-indoctrinated state. He had read his Spectre reports, and knew the turian was a monster. Most importantly, though, was eliminating him as Sovereign's most important servant.

Saren staggered as the bullets hit him. It seemed even now his inner struggle went on. Shepard could see him actively suppressing any resistance. After a short while, the rest of the squad joined in. Finally, Saren's hoverboard jerked upwards. It seemed Sovereign was in full control now. Saren even managed to hit Ashley's shields a few times. Eventually, though, Shepard managed to land the final shot: Saren staggered one last time, and then fell from his board. It and his body fell below the bridge.

Immediately, Shepard switched his focus. Paying no mind to Saren anymore, he ran towards the the holographic interface Saren had used: The Citadel's master control panel. He used his omni-tool to upload Vigil's file onto it and waited. Fortunately, it seemed to work. He was no technical expert by far, but he could understand the schematic diagram on the screen that showed how bit by bit Saren's and Sovereign's infestation of the Citadel systems was beaten back.

Tali reached him. "You've got control of all Citadel systems," she commented. "I'm not sure whether I should be relieved or worried." She attempted to sound humorous, but instead sheer relief was the primary emotion carried by her voice. "Open the Citadel arms!"

"Yes, ma'am," Shepard answered with a grin, typed in the order on the interface - and pumped by adrenaline from the fight and emotionally charged by the triumph then turned around to hug the surprised quarian. _We__'__ve __made __it__!_ Not fully, of course. But they had done everything they could. Sovereign was still there, but he hoped the Citadel fleets, if they still existed, could take care of it.

His moment of triumph was interrupted by his communicator catching an emergency signal: "..._the _Destiny Ascension_... __main __drives __offline__... __kinetic __barriers __down__ 40%... __the __Council __is __on __board__, __I __repeat __the __Council __is __on __board__!"_

"Shit," Ashley cursed, who was just approaching Shepard and Tali. Apparently, Wrex was staying behind with Liara.

"The _Destiny __Acension_ and some turian cruisers are all that's left of the of the Citadel fleet," Tali said after a look on her omni-tool. "This... looks bad. They keep the geth fleet occupied for now, but there's nobody left to deal with Sovereign."

_Damn__. _"I..." Shepard began, but then was cut off by the communicator. It was Joker's voice. "Normandy _to __the __Citadel__. _Normandy _to __the __Citadel__. __Please __tell __me __that__'__s __you__, __Shepard__."_

"I'm here," Shepard confirmed. "Have you heard..."

"_Yeah__, __we __got __the __signal__," _Joker interrupted him. "_I__'__m __sitting __here __in __the __Andura __Sector __with __the __entire __Arcturan __fleet__." _Shepard was really curious how the _Normandy_ crew had managed that, but there was no time to ask. _"__We __can __save __the _Ascension_!_ _Just __unlock __the __relays __around __the __Citadel __and __we__'__ll __send __the __cavalry __in__!"_

Shepard was relieved to no end. _So __there __is __somebody __to __take __care __of __Sovereign__. __Funny __how __the __Alliance __is __our __saviour __now__. _There was some rather dark irony to that. _If in fact they can take on Sovereign. _After all, nobody knew what its combat capacities were like, and that made Shepard worried. Still, they had to try and... - his thoughts were interrupted by Ashley: "Casualties will be through the roof. Human casualties. I... before our journey started I'd have said the Council isn't worth it. Now... I'm still not sure. You might want to consider it."

Shepard whirled around, shocked. _What__? _He was glad that on some level he seemed to have gotten through to her. She was right: Before the _Normandy__'__s _journey she would simply have sent the Council to hell. Still, even so what she said was unacceptable to him. "You can't be serious. I don't like them very much, either, but this is bigger than my problems with them. Bigger than humanity's squabbles with them. Sovereign is a threat to the entire galaxy."

"Put like that..." Ashley conceded "Sorry. Call it Alliance influence."

"What you said is true, Jon," Tali chimed in. She sounded calm and collected. "This _is _bigger than any squabbles. But also bigger than the Council. So you can't waste reinforcements on them. The _Destiny __Ascension_ is still keeping the geth busy. Use that to concentrate all forces on Sovereign."

Shepard was still a bit shocked about Ashley's attitude, despite her concession, but he had to admit, Tali made a good point. It was maybe a callous thought, but the Council could be replaced. It was true that the extinction of the Prothean had been started by the extermination of their leaders. However, as long as the organic races held the Citadel they could assemble a new Council. Holding the Citadel, and keeping its relay shut, was really the only thing that mattered. In fact, the fate of the entire galaxy depended on it.

"_Admiral __Hackett __said __he__'__ll __trust __our __expertise__,"_ Joker reported. _"__Whatever __you __say __will __be __the __order__. __So __what __is __it__, __Shepard__?"_

_Unlike __him __not __to __make __a __joke __about __that__, __but __then __the __situation __is __indeed __too __serious __for __it__. __Damn__. __Thousands __of __lives __on __the _Ascension_... __and __yet__... _If he knew for sure that the Alliance Fleet could defeat both geth and Sovereign, he would have sent them in to save the asari flagship, human casualties be damned. However, there was no way of knowing that. He did not even if Sovereign alone could be defeated. And saving the Council but losing the Citadel would make everything pointless.

_And __thus __I __have __to __sacrifice __more __lives __than __Cerberus has __ever __killed__. _Of course, the difference was that those people would be dead anyway if the Citadel relay was to be activated. He did not act out of some vague (and thoroughly unworthy) notion of 'human strength', but to ward off a clear and present danger. "Concentrate all fire on Sovereign," he told Joker. "We have to destroy it, no matter the cost. The entire galaxy is at stake."

"_Uh__, __roger __that__," _Joker confirmed. _"__Holding __off __attacks __until __we __can __get __a __clear __shot __on __Sovereign__. __Initiating __the __jump __in __twenty __seconds __starting __from__... __now__."_

"Goddamnit," Shepard whispered. Condemning the _Destiny Ascension_ to die was an emotional low after the rush of triumph. Tali tried to offer comfort, but Shepard felt the pressing need to go on, to do _something _to make the sacrifice worthwhile. "Let's make sure Saren really is dead," he said with a croaked voice.

Below the 'Council bridge' there was a small garden facility. It was to there that Saren and his hover board had fallen, and so it was to there Shepard went, followed by Ashley and Tali. Saren's body lay on the edge of it. Shepard walked up to him and gave him a final shot to the head. Blue blood sprayed everywhere. _It __is __done__._ Shepard breathed in and out and tried to collect his thoughts. He hoped Hackett's Fifth Fleet could defeat Sovereign. If not, none of this would matter and if they could... _Then __things __will __get __really __interesting__. _With the Council dead and the Alliance - _the __Alliance__! __Of __all __governments__! - _in control of the station...

Something caught Shepard's attention and he whirled around with his gun drawn. He looked around, and there it was again: A red spark. It grew, and soon more sparks began to fly around in the room, growing into red lightning ways. Shepard did not even have time to ask what the hell was going on before the sparks and lights concentrated on Saren's body. It began to glow red, and miniature fractures seemed to rip his exoskeleton apart. The body jerked up and down - and then exoskeleton and skin got blown off in an explosion.

Shepard, Tali and Ashley were thrown back by it. When Shepard could look again, only Saren's endoskeleton remained- adorned by small blue lights very familiar to the Spectre. _A __husk__! __Beneath __his __exterior __Saren __had __been __nothing __else __anymore __but __a __husk__. _However, the inside of Saren's skull and ribcage were filled with a vibrant red light. He got down on all fours and began to crawl like an animal. A very creepy and dangerous animal.

His first red fireball came as a surprise, emitted from ribcage and skull. It hit Ashley at too close a distance for her shields to trigger. The marine fell to her knees, holding her left arm. And then Saren, or what was left of it _jumped_. Shepard had never seen such high or fast jumps, not even by Geth Hoppers. But just like them Saren could now apparently crawl on walls and ceilings. Hanging from a wall he announced: "**I ****am ****Sovereign ****and ****this ****station ****is **_**mine**_**.**"

_Well__, __shit__. _Shepard and Tali began to fire, but the Saren-husk's rapid jumps made it impossible to get a proper aim at him. Both he and she walked around in the garden uncoordinated, trying their best to land at least some hits. They heard a battle cry from the other end of the garden: Wrex had jumped into it and now joined the fight. However, everybody was in this battle on themselves: There was no strategy, no plan, only desperate attempts to hit what was left of Saren.

Red energy and flying bullets everywhere filled the room. It was difficult if not plain impossible for Shepard to retain any oversight at all over this chaos. He was only focused to get an aim on Saren. Even Ashley, who had crawled behind a stone and drawn a pistol she could use with her remaining good arm joined in. And yet, Shepard did not know if this was enough. Even the use of grenades did not seem to slow the enemy down.

Not that it mattered: They simply had to try. Shepard was hit, Tali was hit, Wrex was hit, but they all kept up combat. "Picking up a huge power loss..." Tali shouted over the combat. How she was still able to read her sensors in all that chaos Shepard did not know, but he admired her for that. "It's Sovereign! It's losing its shields!"

_Sovereign__'__s __energy __is __tied __to __Saren__! _Shepard realized. "Keep firing!" he shouted. "We're hurting that AI bastard!"

He stopped firing and concentrated. _Guns __only __help __so __much__. _He had to concentrate on his strengths. Even, he realized, if he did not particularly like those strengths anymore. He was averse to his biotic powers after he had learned just what the Alliance had done to get to know how to train them. However, for now he had no chance but to hope they would help. Like a predator, he waited for his opportunity. And when it came, he finally caught Saren in a biotic attack. He lifted him above the ground and held him there. Immediately, a hail of bullets riddled him.

_Got __you__, __you __bastard__. __Hope __Hackett __shreds __you __to __pieces __outside__. _Sovereign's Saren puppet was not yet beaten, though. He managed to free himself of Shepard's dark energy. Several of his red fireballs hit the Spectre, whose shields faltered. Shepard was thrown back by the strange enemy fire and shouted in agony: His entire chest felt like it was burning.

When he looked up again, Saren was lying on the ground, only slightly moving. Suddenly, the red energy that so far had been held inside him engulfed him. He seemed to burn in an unnaturally red fire. And moments later, only ashes remained of him.

Shepared tried to laugh, but ended up panting. His chest hurt like hell. He realized that by chance he lay not far from Ashley. "Hell of a fight, eh?" he commented to her, exhausted.

"Something we can still tell our grandchildren about, skipper," the marine answered proudly. "Or at least, hopefully."

Tali came running towards him, while Wrex was walking calmly behind her. "Are you all right?" the quarian asked Shepard and knelt down beside him.

"I'm... ugh." A wave of pain hit him. "I've been better, truthfully."

"Take it easy you two," Wrex recommended, looking at Shepard and Ashley. "The Alliance is tearing apart Sovereign at the moment. We won."

_We __won__. _Relief flew through Shepard, easing the pain for a moment. After months of chasing Saren, after several painful revelations and hard battles, after too painful sacrifices and many disappointments, things were at an end. They had won.

A bright flash of light at his visual periphery drew his attention to it. Behind the vast window of the Council Chambers there was a huge explosion. _Sovereign__!_ It seems they had won indeed - but then Shepard saw the window darken. Something was coming their way, and fast.

"Shit! Run!" he ordered. He tried his best to stand up again with Tali's help, while Wrex grabbed Ashley. The window burst, and a huge fragment of Sovereign's chassis came darting through it. Something hit Shepard at the head. And then everything went dark.

The darkness retreated only slightly when he came to his senses again. Both his head and his chest hurt, but less so than before. He tried to orientate himself, but it was difficult to discern any features around him. There was only a very small source of light surrounded by darkness. It seemed to illuminate a helmet... _Tali__! _He wanted to get up, but a hand took his shoulder and pushed him back softly. He wanted to say something, but soon sleep had him in his grip again.

He drifted in and out of sleep a few more times, before finally fully awakening with a loud gap. Last vestiges of an unpleasant nightmare retreated from him.

"Careful," Tali said. She sat besides him, and a very dim flashlight of sorts was running on her helmet. "How are you feeling now?"

"Somewhat better," Shepard replied, "Or would be if somebody could get the construction brigade working in my head to leave it. Where are we? And for how long?"

"The painkillers must still be working then," Tali stated. "I think I used too strong a dose. You already asked me that two hours ago, but then fell asleep again. We're still where you fell down. We're trapped in here by part of Sovereign's wreckage. That was five hours ago."

"I... can't remember any earlier questions" Shepard said "How... disconcerting. But I do remember Sovereign's destruction... The window crashing... So, you've applied painkillers to me?

"And medigel, yes," Tali confirmed. "Your wounds are too deep for it to take care of everything, so try to remain calm and take it easy for once."

Shepard smiled lopsidedly. "Well, it still hurts, but I think I couldn't have hoped for a better nurse." He paused. "So, now all we can do is wait for somebody to find us?"

"Pretty much, yes," Tali answered.

"Well, we've won. Pretty funny, actually," Shepard mused. "That we're trapped here by Sovereign's wreckage is actually the best proof for it." His thoughts became grim again. "I hope Ashley and Wrex made it. And that Liara is safe. And the _Normandy..._"

"We have to wait and see," Tali answered. She did not sound entirely comfortable about that prospect, either, though. They had seen what state the Presidium was in, and they could only imagine what formidable enemy Sovereign must have been in battle. They had survived, but it was not entirely sure they would see their friends again.

Tali laid herself down besides Shepard. Cuddled together, they awaited whether help would find them.

…...

The light suddenly pouring through the rubble made Shepard's eyes hurt. Many unfamiliar voices were speaking at once. Human hands gently helped him and Tali up. It took some time to get adjusted to the light, but it was clear they had finally been found. Shepard did not know just how much longer they had waited. Any concerns he had he were soothed by seeing some familiar faces among the crowd, though. Chakwas took over from the people who had freed him (_Alliance marines, _as Shepard realized) and Liara watched from some distance. The _Normandy's _doctor led Shepard to a medical tent nearby, where she unceremoniously tore off his upper armour to have a look at his chest.

"Ashley told me what happened to you," she explained. And before Shepard could speak up: "Don't worry, she's fine. Better than you even. Liara is recovering, too. And the ship didn't even get so much as a scratch."

She fitted some device on his chest. Already normal technology was sometimes mysterious to Shepard; medical technology was downright arcane to him, so he had no idea what it was. It seemed to sooth the remaining pain a bit, though, so he figured it did whatever it was designed to do. She handed him a wide shirt to wear over the apparatus and then told him: "There are people who want to see you. You should probably rest, but I don't think you want to miss it. It will be about important stuff. All the big shakers here are already talking what will happen next, now that the Council is dead."

Shepard raised his eyebrow, but did not say anything. The Council of course was dead due to him, and since the Citadel seemed to be swarmed by Alliance soldiers he guessed the 'big shakers' would be Alliance, too. He wondered if he would end up as a sort of scapegoat. After Chakwas was done with him, he was escorted by a very straight laced looking, young Lieutenant, who led him to a place at the Presidium lake. Rubble and burnt trees were still visible everywhere, but at least the illumination had been restored. The lights gave the scenery an inappropriately peaceful look.

Shepard could see four people standing at the lake. Ashley, who had her left arm in a similar machine as the one on his chest, Udina, Anderson and a fourth individual Shepard had never seen in person, but recognized from pictures: Admiral Hackett. His view was concentrated on Udina as he approached the group. And after the ambassador had also recognized him, he had the feeling the surrounding temperature dropped with every step he came nearer. He also noted how agitated Ashley looked. Something was clearly bothering her.

"Shepard," the ambassador greeted him curtly.

"Udina," Shepard replied.

"It seems your fears were well founded after all," Udina admitted. "So your actions can be forgiven, and..."

Shepard interrupted him icily: "You have neither the authority nor the standing to forgive me anything. If things had happened your way, we'd all be dead by now."

"I understand you did what you had to do," Udina said cooly.

"Yes. And it seems in doing so I handed the Citadel to the Alliance on a silver plate," Shepard said darkly. This was indeed grating on him. There was a terribly irony in all of this. After all the fights he had with the Alliance, now they were in control of the central hub of the relay network thanks to him.

"Your action opened up new opportunities for us," Udina confirmed. "And we fully intend to grasp them. The Citadel fleets were decimated in the attack. Their losses have made the Alliance stronger."

"And that's of course your first thought," Shepard commented. He noticed how Ashley shot dark glances to the Ambassador. She did not seem all too pleased with this, either. That was only understandable: She had risked life and limb to save the galaxy, just to see this now being exploited by politicians, a breed she hated anyway. "The galaxy just escaped total extinction, and your first though is have to cheer about the losses of sapient life suffered."

"I know you don't like to hear this, Shepard, but the galaxy needs leadership," Udina stated. "Especially _because_ of the threats we face now. So do you really think we'll let an opportunity like this slide?"

"And so what do you want now?" Shepard asked. "Human control over the galaxy?" He turned to Anderson. "Is that it? Do you want to support him in that?"

"The other species are scared, Shepard," Anderson said, "They have never faced anything like this before. They don't know what to do. They'll accept human leadership. Maybe even welcome it."

_Has __something __hit __his __head__? _"You can't seriously believe that!" Shepard exclaimed.

"If we step forward now, nobody will be able to stop us, Shepard," Udina said, "that's just how it is. Sacrificing the Council ensured our victory over Sovereign. The end justifies the means. We humans understand that - most of us, anyway. That's what makes us stronger than others."

"I don't want a humanity like that." Shepard turned. To his surprise it was not him who had said so, it was Ashley. She spoke with grave, serious voice. "I've always fought for the Alliance. Even after everything Shepard uncovered. Hell, I even argued with him about that. And I don't want an Alliance like that." She sneered. "But maybe the skipper has been right all along and it has always been like that." She turned to Admiral Hackett: "Admiral, with all due respect: Does the Navy support these schemes, sir?"

Hackett remained perfectly calm, and in an absolutely neutral voice replied: "The Navy does not get involved in political decision making. We merely execute the government's policies."

"Yes. Just like on Gagarin Station. A _military__-_corporate cooperation. Or like the Alliance _military _scientists working on a project on Akuze that ended up in Alliance _military _databanks," Ashley reminded him. Shepard was surprised, shocked even. When she had said she would think about everything he had said and uncovered it seemed she had not lied. She had pondered all this for a while now. And now she was incensed. She turned to Udina again. "And you'd do all this shit all over again, wouldn't you? I foolishly thought it were just mistakes in the past, nevermind how you _kept_ the survivors down and isolated for fifteen years, continuing your crimes - but more to the point, if it served your ambitions you'd abuse children again and again, wouldn't you? You'd commit the same atrocities again without so much as a second thought. Even now you're walking over corpses to get what you want!"

"Chief Williams," Udina said sharply, "You're out of line!"

Ashley narrowed her eyes and took a step towards him. "Shepard was right: It's not about whether I'm good enough for the Alliance. The Alliance isn't good enough for me. Not the way it presents itself here. Hell, I don't even know anymore what I wanted to prove by joining up. You can consider this my resignation."

_Hah__!_ Now Shepard truly was shocked. He did not even know what to think about it, not yet. Technically of course enlisted personel could not just 'resign'. _But __if __they__'__ll __try __to __get __Ash __for __this __there__'__ll __be __hell __to __pay__. __She__'__s __under __my __protection__. _

"With all due respect, Ambassador," Anderson spoke up before Udina could regain his composure "But I think you'll get that reaction a lot if you really want to go through with your plans. Given the current political troubles back home, I don't think you could get a stable majority for it even inside the Alliance." Shepard's eyes widened. _Clever__! __He__'__s __using the __opportunity Ash created__. __Maybe __his __thought __processes __are __in fact still working just fine._

"We have to be careful not to overstep our bounds," Hackett agreed. "The Alliance Navy could not defend a claim to the Citadel against both the other species and political detractors on the inside."

"I suppose this is true," Udina admitted after a pause of consideration, though it was clear he did not like it. "Shepard's irresponsible actions have made the Alliance far too divided to fully grasp this opportunity. So we'll have to retain some formalities. Like the Council. We'll have to build up a new one, under human leadership."

Ashley sneered again at that and then just walked off. Shepard looked at her leaving and made a mental note to check up on her as soon as possible, but then turned his attention to the meeting again. After all, nothing less than the fate of the galaxy was decided here.

"And by that, you mean under yours, of course," he mocked the Ambassador.

"I'm confident the Alliance government will see the value of my diplomatic experience here," Udina answered.

"The government is divided, Ambassador," Anderson reminded him. "I don't think we can make secure political predictions."

"Given the situation, the Alliance will try to gain as much legitimacy for that new Council as possible," Hackett pondered, "So I think the voice of the Saviour of the Citadel will have a great weight in their selection."

"Hackett..." Udina pressed forth between clenched teeth. He was furious at the Admiral.

Shepard smiled. _Yes, the Navy will not get involved in political decision making. Yes, you're just a completely neutral observer, Hackett. Sure. _The Admiral and the Captain were quite skillfully playing the scene, he had to admit. Anderson spoke up: "He's right, ambassador. So Shepard, who do you think should lead this new Council?"

The Spectre's smile widened into a predatory grin. "You want experience, Udina?" he asked. "Unfortunately for you, you're not the only one with Citadel diplomatic experience. My choice would be... Anita Goyle."

"_What__? _You cannot seriously mean to put that old, treacherous..." Udina cut himself. "Seriously, Shepard. We... had our differences." Udina clearly had trouble suppressing his anger, but he tried to sound friendly now. "Still, we have common interests. Do you really think Goyle would serve the interests of humanity?"

"If you think I'd make _you_ chairman of the new Council, Udina, then you're clearly deluded," Shepard spelt out clearly what Udina had meant. "Even if I didn't hate you. Even if you didn't stand for everything that's wrong with the Alliance. The Reapers are out there. We cannot waste our time on petty power squabbles between the races. You'd have every race at each other's throats. Goyle will make sure we'll all work together." He stretched himself to full height, ignoring the remaining pain in his chest, and looked at the three other people in the meeting. "The Reapers are coming. If they win, it will be the end of all life as we know it. Those who still want to play their petty games of power can do so. But I won't. I know that this galaxy can win the coming war, _if_ it stands together, _if_ it asks how to survive and not who will come out on top. And I swear to you, I'll find a way to beat the Reapers back to darkspace once and for all!"

And with that he turned around and left. He felt a certain satisfaction how Hackett, Anderson, Ashley and he had prevented Udina's human supremacist schemes, with Ashley's outburst, Anderson's clever use of that, and Hackett's reminder of Shepard's importance. But now that this was done, he had a war to plan.


	36. Epilogue

Shepard leaned over a railing at the Presidium Lake and watched how construction workers and work mechs were carrying tools and material back and forth. To cement their claim to the Citadel, the Alliance had begun reconstruction efforts immediately, in fact only hours after the end of the battle. And for such a hastily convened project, progress was already considerable. For all his hate of Udina, Shepard had to admit the ambassador was outdoing himself in organizing this all. Though many among the Alliance work crews were grumbling how he was an overly harsh task master in a constant foul mood.

Hearing that had made Shepard grin. He did not envy the workers, but he knew the reason for Udina's behaviour. The ambassador currently presided over all Alliance activities on the Citadel, and hence was de facto the ruler of the Citadel - but he would remain so only for a few days or weeks. Then the new Council would be installed and not him, but Anita Goyle would lead it. Thus now he probably tried to get as much out of his command as possible. _At least, this would be typical for him._

He had also heard that there had been troubles with the Keepers. Even though they were no longer under Reaper command, the creatures remained true to their programming. They thus had begun reconstruction works on their own even before the Alliance work crews had arrived. Nobody knew where they got their materials from, but they were quite apparently sufficient. And working around the creatures had become quite a nuisance for the Alliance people. Nobody dared to openly 'defy' their building schemes: They had taken care of Citadel maintenance for centuries, in fact even for millions of years as Shepard knew after his adventures. Thus only they knew all the secrets of the station and its maintenance and hence everybody else, even the Alliance, was careful not to harm them.

Shepard supposed that it was better that way. It was a good thing that the Alliance did not get to see and remold every detail of the Citadel. Shepard did not trust them to do just reconstruction: Given that Udina was in fact in command, they would certainly have used this as an opportunity. Even now he wondered how many Alliance bugs would end up in all the construction material used. He was glad that he would not have to deal with that problem; he doubted the Alliance would bug its own ships. He really did not know how he would do under surveillance. _Probably pretty badly. _

Currently he was doing reasonably well, though. The sacrifice of the _Destiny Ascension _still pained him. Fifth Fleet had taken great losses in the fight against Sovereign, but he still wondered if maybe, just maybe they could also have saved the countless lived aboard the ship, among them the Council. However, he knew that things could also have ended very much worse. They could also have ended in the opening of the Citadel relay and the extinction of all galactic species. He had played no small role in preventing that, and that made him look into the future with some optimism.

He had no idea how an entire fleet of Sovereigns could be defeated, but the first battle had gone in the galaxy's favour. The organics had drawn first blood. This would be a cycle unlike any other before it. So there was some hope, and Shepard fully intended to grasp it. So what if he did not know a grand strategy _yet?_ He would simply go step by step. And he already knew his next step: He would take the _Normandy _and search for clues of previous Reaper invasions. Maybe something of help could be found there. _Combat archaeology. Liara will enjoy that. _To that end he was scheduled to meet with Hackett soon. He had no intention to give up the _Normandy_, but also no intentions to rejoin the Alliance. Obviously, that presented some problems in organization.

Another pair of hands grabbed the railing besides him. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed Ashley walking up to him and now standing beside him. She wore civilian attire which was a bit more modern than Shepard's own colonist clothes but just as non-fancy. And just like him she most likely would never wear the uniform again. Following his gaze to the Alliance work crews she remarked: "All that construction under the Alliance banner... It kinda still makes me proud." She grimaced. "Still, not worth it."

"You know, when I said I didn't expect you to change all your convictions I meant it," Shepard answered. "But I certainly won't complain. Even though I'm still a bit surprised."

"It's better this way," Ashley stated. "You've seen me the past few weeks. Always insecure, going back and forth between understanding you and clinging to the Alliance. No more of that. I've made my decision. "

She was right. Shepard had witnessed her doubts and insecurities. But before that, he had gotten to know her as a woman of strong will, so he did not doubt that now she had made up her mind for good. "Well then, welcome to Clubs of Dangerous Subversive Elements," Shepard joked. "Your membership card will arrive within the fortnight. Speaking of which, I have a conspiratorial meeting with Admiral Hackett scheduled right now, so..."

With a noncommittal shrug he turned to go. He noticed Ashley following him and thought about protesting, but then decided otherwise. He had not planned to bring her along to the meeting, but then she would remain on the _Normandy_ anyway, so as far as Shepard was concerned she might as well hear about the future of the ship and its crew.

"The fun part will be telling the family," Ashley said with dark humour after they had walked along the Presidium Lake for a while, but then shook her head. "But I can't just ignore what I've seen. What the Alliance has done. To good people, like Kaidan."

Both remained silent for a moment in memory of their fallen comrade.

After a while Shepard said: "It's something I need to discuss with Hackett, too. Your legal status now." Ashley's stated intent to leave the Alliance Navy for good would usually be considered desertion in peace time.

"Maybe I can ask Liara for political asylum in the Republics," Ashley joked. "We defeated Sovereign. How difficult can details like this be, really?"

"It's still something that needs to be worked out," Shepard pointed out, "so we need to... ah, there he is."

He saw Admiral Hackett further down the path along the lake. With him were Pressly and Anderson. The Navigator looked a bit stiff and awkward. The whole situation seemed to make him somewhat uncomfortable. Shepard knew that he had pushed the naturally stiff and conservative Navigator through a lot, maybe a bit too much.

"Shepard," Hackett greeted him. Shepard noticed how besides him Ashley's arm twitched. _Probably has to suppress the instinct to salute him. _"I have good news for you. I found enough volunteers among Fifth Fleet to make up a new crew for the _Normandy_."

Shepard was surprised. "That was quick."

"Your name commands both hate and admiration," Hackett said. "It's not difficult to find a sufficient number of people for both sides. I got enough applications that my staff could handpick the people you might want. This way, you'll retain de facto command over the ship."

"As for the old crew," Anderson added, "their charges for mutiny are still pending, but they'll be dropped soon I think. The Admiral assured me that for those who don't want to serve under you anymore, like Commander Pressly, can take up positions in Fifth Fleet."

Shepard nodded. "Thank you, Admiral."

Pressly shook his head. "I'm glad this goes through so smoothly, but it is all hardly standard protocol," he said. "We won, so you must have done something right, Shepard. But still, taking the _Normandy _for yourself? From the Alliance? That's quite a big thing you're asking for."

"It is," Shepard admitted. "But I _need _a ship. We need to find hints of past Reaper activity, we need to find anything that could help us beat them. So why not the _Normandy? _It will soon become well known that it was me who saved the Citadel. For the moment being the Alliance would not dare take it away from me."

Pressly made a disapproving grimace. "Pretty selfish, don't you think? Since you _are_ in fact the hero of the hour I think the Alliance would welcome you back among its ranks."

Shepard sneered at that. "I'm working to save their butts, too. Bad enough my actions nestled them the Citadel. They won't get a poster boy for their recruitment campaigns, too. Not if there's another way to do things."

"I see currently no way how the Alliance Navy could fight a whole fleet of Sovereigns," Hackett spoke up. "So we have to trust in Shepard's expertise and resourcefulness to find some way. That means he is in a position to demand."

"And he's right about politics," Anderson added. "The Alliance will be desperate for every scratch of legitimacy for their new Council. Most of that legitimacy comes from the fact that Shepard defeated Saren. Thus they would not dare move against him. At least not for some months. When the dust settles and everybody is busy with other things again, that might change."

"They'll be presented with accomplished facts," Hackett said. "I think they will publicly sell it as further supporting the Spectre who saved the Citadel."

"You weren't kidding when you described this as a conspiratorial meeting," Ashley said amazed to Shepard.

Shepard shrugged. "You get to stay aboard the _Normandy_ without taking back what you said to Udina. Sounds like a good deal for you, too. That is, uh..." Shepard became a bit insecure. "That is, if you do want to stay aboard." He had simply kind of assumed this, that Ashley's angry words to Udina meant her previous statement to him about going off board once the mission was over were no longer true - however, she had never explicitly said so.

"Of course. Where else would I want to go?" Ashley asked in a tone as if Shepard were a bit slow in thought, as if there had never been any doubt about her staying on or leaving the ship.

"Missions on remote worlds far from Alliance jurisdiction might indeed be the best for you, Williams," Anderson said. It was not a threat, but an honest, friendly warning. "You better keep her in the hot bunking schedule, Shepard."

"This may be wise," Hackett agreed. "In any case, everything has been taken care of. New crew and supplies should be on the _Normandy_ within no more than two days. Then the ship is yours to command again, Shepard."

"Again, thank you, Admiral," Shepard said. "It seems I'll have a lot of personal files to go through then. I better get to work."

Shepard and Ashley nodded to Hackett and shook Anderson's and Pressly's hands. While it was all very friendly, the Spectre knew he had alienated himself from the Captain. He had looked up to Anderson when he had come aboard the _Normandy_, but now he had moved too fast for his former superior to catch on. His anti-Alliance stance, his fast and loose play with the rules - Shepard did not think Anderson had truly been able to make up his mind about those issues. He supported him, but disapproved of his actions, apparently unwilling to fully take a side. _As long as he does su__pport me, though... _The alienation was unfortunate, but it was not like Anderson ever had been a close friend or anything.

After the battle, Fifth Fleet held position around the Citadel. The _Normandy_, however, had again been docked in its usual place, Dock 522. By now, it was more or less a place of honour for the ship. On the way to the dock Shepard and Ashley continued talking. It made him realize how he had missed out these recent weeks. It was good to hear her delightfully aggressive wit again, especially now that she also used it in regards to the Alliance. He could have listened to her deeply cynical humour about the issue for quite some time.

It made Shepard look forward to the time ahead of him. Sure, he had no idea how to stop the Reapers. However, the omnicidal synthetics were not there yet. He hoped his victory against Saren would buy him enough time to find some hope for the organic races. But most importantly, he assumed he would enjoy that time. A crew that would stand fully behind him, no more or at least fewer quarrels with Alliance Command and even issues with Ashley were cleared now. He would work in an environment he had molded right alongside the friends he had made these past months. _And Tali, of course. _She would of course eventually have to return to the Flotilla. There was unfortunately no doubt about that. But he figured he could still have at least some more months with her. _And who knows what happens then, anyway? If we're unlucky, the Reaper will already be here by then. No point looking too far into the future._

He actually spotted the quarian standing at the dock, outside the _Normandy._ With her were Wrex, Garrus and Liara. Tali and Liara seemed very lively in trying to convince the unmoved krogan about something. When the he noted Shepard's approach he muttered: "Damn. Too late. You win, quarian."

"You're not getting away that easily," Tali replied, and to Shepard: "He tried to steal himself away without saying good bye."

Shepard laughed. Wrex and good bye scenes were really two things that somehow did not seem to fit to each other. And he had expected the mercenary to leave. "So, returning to Tuchanka?"

"I've got a job to do." Wrex confirmed. "As you know."

"I'll be watching. As you know." Shepard answered. _It would probably be unwise to say more in public._ "Still, Tali has a point. Simply leaving? You don't even want to celebrate our big triumph?"

"I'll celebrate when I get a gift from you," Wrex replied. "There's a ship bound for Tuchanka soon. And that doesn't happen often, nobody wants to see that ruined world anymore. So I better take it." He turned to Ashley. "You'll be the only one left with big weapons. Take good care of these people, without us heavy hitters they'd be lost."

Ashley laughed sharply. "I take it you'll bring all your weapons along to Tuchanka? Pity, less toys for me."

"Not like there aren't already enough weapons there, but yes," Wrex confirmed. "It was fun fighting with you. As I've said, a new flavor, fighting with a female who's not an asari commando. And those are too squishy anyway. Agile but squishy."

"Yeah, I take heavy firepower and heavy armor over agility and mobility any day," Ashley agreed. "No offence to you Liara, but your people's military... Well, you won't see me running around in a firefight with an outfit that could also be used in the bed room!"

"I don't intend to, either," Liara agreed.

"Good. I think." Ashley commented. "I must admit, Wrex, when you first came aboard I thought you could flip out at us at any moment. Now I'm somewhat sad to see you go, because without you nearly always staying so calm, the crew's sanity can only go downhill from here on. Especially with him for a commanding officer!"

"Hey now!" Shepard protested with a laugh.

"I can see why you have to go back to your world," Garrus spoke up, "but she's right. I think you've defied all our expectations about what krogan are like. If somebody can clean Tuchanka up it's you, but... well, ah, it's a loss for us."

"Don't get all sappy," Wrex said. "Doesn't fit to either of our species."

"But you know he's only speaking the truth," Shepard said. "Tuchanka needs you, but we'd need you as well." He grinned. "And of course, I'll lose the only person here laughing at my jokes."

"My several krogan hearts are bleeding for you," Wrex joked dryly. "But I really should get that ship now. Already got everything packed." He nodded toward a collection of large bags leaned against the ship hull. "Luckily, the ship owner is krogan himself, so my weapons shouldn't cause much trouble."

"You want to go already?" Liara asked disapproving.

"You and Tali have protested long enough," Wrex stated. Shepard supposed he _tried_ to sound stern, but even with his low and grumbling voice it sounded actually oddly warm. "If I ever want all the old ruins on my world researched and indexed I'll give you a call. And if I want to build something new, I should probably contact the Migrant Fleet. Going by what I've seen of you, Tali. You probably took out more geth than even me."

Shepard was a bit surprised. Giving out compliments was very much unlike the krogan. Wrex grabbed his bags and started to walk, but then turned around again and said to Shepard: "It was good fighting alongside you. Best mission I ever had, and first time in a long that I felt comfortable fighting in a team. Being in a team. And I owe you. Don't think I'll forget that." And with that, without waiting for an answer, he walked off.

"Hm. Odd," Shepard mused, "but I do think I'm going to miss him. Who would have thought?" And after a pause: "Well then, I hope nobody else is leaving?"

"You know the answer already, skipper. You just wanna hear some more validation for yourself, don't you?" Ashley answered in jest.

"I won't return to C-Sec just as you won't return to the Alliance," Garrus answered nonetheless. "Not that C-Sec is bad. I just don't fit in there. So fighting the Reapers is all that's left for me. Unless I want to end up on the street. Ah, it's also important to find a way to fight them, of course. Yes, let's go with that, that sounds better."

"And that means I finally get to use my primary expertise in this mission," Liara said, "If we really visit potential archaeological sites and so on. I have no intention of missing out on that."

"I really don't think I need to answer that question anyway," Tali concluded.

"Good." Shepard said, "Let's get aboard. Next stop: Earth. We'll be picking up a passenger."

000000

As Tali learned by a quick search on the extranet, the human city of Paris was considered a culturally and historically very important site on Earth. Its historical clan leaders, the 'Kings of France', had apparently been the vanguard of cultural progress in this part of the planet for centuries, and had used their power and wealth to amass a dazzling array of cultural treasures. The city was still very proud of its heritage and hence tried to preserve it as best as they could. In the geographical centre of the city there was hardly a modern building to be found. The most striking feature there was an odd steel skeleton tower, but that at a mere two hundred meters or less.

However, outside that city area, surrounding it to all sides, city development had actually progressed along with technology. The huge towers of one or two kilometres height that were so common on overpopulated Earth were the norm here, too. In fact, as one of the economical centres of the 'European Union', apparently one of Earth's three most powerful states, it was a fairly prosperous and modern city. In a way, it reminded Tali how some cities on Rannoch used to be set up: Modern, busy cities around well preserved historical clan fortresses. For the quarians that was all lost. The humans had managed to hold onto their history, if at times barely so: For a period it had looked like they might lose their home world to over pollution and overpopulation, just as the drell had. And nowadays, there were even less drell alive than quarians. Tali had never even seen one on her pilgrimage, only read about them.

As it was, though, humanity had escaped that fate, and now in fact would go on to lead the new Council. That there would be a Council at all was in large parts thanks to Shepard, Anderson and Hackett. Shepard had told her of their conversation with Udina after the battle. That had actually given a new perspective to Tali: She had always accepted Shepard's struggle with the Alliance as an internal human affair. That was how she had dealt with the fact of Shepard going rogue against his lawful authority. But seeing how high ranking Alliance officials had apparently planned sole human domination in the galaxy, she actually began to consider the Alliance to be somewhat dangerous. Over the time, she had been becoming more supportive of Shepard's side in the argument anyway: As far as she was concerned, people should first think about sacrifices they themselves could make for the greater good, instead of looking to sacrifice others.

And apparently there were other humans besides Shepard who agreed with that. He and Tali had just entered one of the large towers of Paris, a building near the edge of the city shared by dozens of companies and organizations which all maintained officers here. Among those offices were some rented by Anita Goyle, and the entire purpose of the work done there was to fight Shepard's fight on the social and legal level. The 'Ministry of Shepard Affairs' as Goyle liked to call her so far still informal organization in jest. So Tali could understand why Shepard would like to visit it. She was not quite sure why he had brought her along, though. He only had muttered something about another special reputation Paris held.

The former ambassador to the Citadel and future Chairwoman of the new Council greeted them at the entrance of the office, a dignified, small elder woman. With her were some people in more or less formal dresses, most likely part of her staff. "Welcome, Mr. Shepard, Ms. Zorah. I hope you had a good trip. Going by the media attention, though, it sounds like it was stressful."

Behind her mask, where nobody could see it, Tali rolled her eyes. What Goyle had said was true, it had been stressful - but for the most part this had been Shepard's very intent. Goyle did not need the _Normandy_ to get to the Citadel. A high class civilian ship rented by the Alliance would in fact have been more appropriate. However, Shepard transporting the new, human Council Chairwoman to the Citadel had of course a special symbolic value, and so he had used the trip to Earth for a victory tour of sorts with stops at Eden Prime and Terra Nova. After the Battle of the Citadel, media attention of course had been inevitable, but Shepard had just further fueled the flames, giving interviews with gusto, enthusiastically addressing crowds, etc. And he had made one thing very clear: He would not return to the Alliance. Not even now, which meant the Battle of the Citadel had not been the Alliance's victory alone.

Right now, Shepard just grinned, and Goyle went on: "I see you're getting experience in the PR business. Have you thought about my proposal of becoming a politician yourself? Winning an election district should be ridiculously easy for you right now, and elections are upcoming."

"Wish I could," Shepard answered, and Tali very much suspected that was the truth. She doubted he could ever go back from being a decision maker to a mere recipient of orders. And he had already shown that he was just manic enough for the political business. Also, human elections were indeed upcoming: She remembered the meeting with the Terra Firma party leader on the Citadel. "Unfortunately, I have other matters to attend to. So for now, you will have to do the job." He grinned sheepishly.

"So you told me." Goyle said mock-indignantly, "Council Chairwoman? At my age? I should really worry about my own stress!"

"Could have been worse, Anita," one of her staff members chimed in. He was a relatively high grown man of pale skin and yellow hair. His clothes and hair were well groomed, and his belly a bit rounder than Tali had seen with other humans. Given what she knew about the standard of human medicine, how easy weight loss was and how most humans appreciated that, that either meant that man held to an alternative ideal of beauty, or otherwise he had to be a very big eater indeed. "Imagine your stress if Udina had gotten his way."

"A fair point," Goyle conceded. "This is Michael Johnson, my right hand in all the social and legal mess you leave us with, Shepard. I think you don't need to be further introduced, and that is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, one of his... what was the term you used, Shepard? Spectre's entourage?"

Handshakes were exchanged, and then Goyle led them inside the office. She gave a tour of the small facilities, introducing her workers to Shepard and telling what each of them did. Tali was impressed. In what was all in all a very short amount of time, Goyle had managed to assemble experts, figured out what details would need to be worked on and had established a team that could and would confront the authorities and the corporations on several levels and fronts.

Shepard was appropriately impressed, too and kept telling Goyle so. He seemed to enjoy the tour very much. Part of it of course was seeing what an amazing tool Goyle had created for their shared ideals. But Tali suspected there was more: While Shepard did not care much about what people thought of him personally, the fact that initially a majority of his own species had cared more about his reveal of Alliance state secrets than about what those secrets contained had truly pained him. He had been disappointed in his own species. So to see humans working for his ideals probably restored some of his faith in humanity.

The last room they entered was a small conference room. Shepard and Tali sat down at the table in its centre together with Goyle, Johnson and some more people. Goyle gave Shepard a little update on her activities and efforts, though there had not actually been much changed since the last time they two had met. The talk then began to focus on public relations work in general, and eventually Shepard's most recent PR work in specific. Somebody began to play a holovid of one of the interviews. A dark-skinned woman in a long, tight dress appeared.

"_This is Khalisah al-Jilani of Westerlund News. With me is Comm__ander Jonathan Shepard..." _

Shepard interrupted her: "_Not Commander anymore." _

After a moment of hesitation, al-Jilani continued: _"Jonathan Shepard then. Once again a hero of the Alliance, after the Battle of the Citadel. His actions prevented the statio__n from falling to the geth, and now allow the Alliance to build up a new Council to lead the galaxy into a better future."_

At the conference table, the real Shepard made a grimace. Al-Jilani's words had been salt in his wound. He was dismayed enough that after all his clashes with the Alliance it had been him who had basically handed over the Citadel to them.

In the holo, al-Jilani continued: "_Currently, you're on your way to Earth to bring future Council Chairwoman Anita Goyle to the Citadel. __Rumour__ is __that you had great influence in her choice for the position."_

Without directly answering the question, Shepard replied: _"The truth of the matter is that Alliance ruthlessness also permeates its diplomatic corps. Too many of its member, including high rank__ing-ones are too openly only out for human gain. This would never work in winning the other races over to accept that new Council. With Goyle it is known she can work with them. There are threats out there, Ms al-Jilani, that we can only ward off if we all__ work together. I urge people to analyze this 'geth attack' on the Citadel. It's a warning sign for things to come."_

"_There is a certain irony in you describing the Alliance diplomatic corps as being too confrontational," _al-Jilani commented. _"Your __misgivings about the Alliance are widely known, but given those threats you talk of, can we take your escort for Anita Goyle as a first sign of reconciliation?"_

"_Absolutely not," _Shepard answered. _"I have no intention of returning to the Alliance. Not now__, most likely never. I defeated Saren because it was the right thing to do, not as an Alliance officer. Fifth Fleet won the Battle, but the Alliance cannot claim my actions for themselves, too!"_

"_But isn't that the time right now that we'd need a strong A__lliance?" _al-Jilani asked. _"There are times when we have to forgive and forget."_

Shepard sneered. "_Forgive? That's the height of arrogance and lacking empathy. The victims that have been abused should forgive even though the Alliance has never asked for forgiveness? Had there already been reparation and apologies, then maybe this could all be put behind us. Then, _maybe,_ there could be forgiveness. But there never have been. The Alliance should be on its knees begging forgiveness from their victims, instead of society just expecting it. As it is, the Alliance has actively continued its crimes for fifteen years, and would still be in the position to do so if it had not been for me. Even now, there has not yet been reparations or an apology, so why should I rejoin the Alliance? Let me make this clear: I will not rejoin an institution which had children abused, some of them to death, and then kept the survivors down and miserable for fifteen years to hush it up. That is the reality of the Alliance. The aliens and also its own people would be wise to remember that."_

"_I'm sure the aliens will, seeing how you basically push their nose into this," _al-Jilani remarked. Her voice had gotten somewhat icier, but she remained professionally smooth. _"I mean, we're all __sorry__ what happened to those people, but the times back then have to be taken into consideration"_

"_Ah yes, the times," _Shepard answered. _"That shows how sorry you are. Excuses! If people were sorry for them, they would've listened to the rumours years ago. If people were sorry, then there would already have been reparations. If people were sorry, than the BAaT survivors and L2s or biotics in general would not be a marginalized group shunned by a majority of people. You're just sorry you have to deal with these issues now. You're just sorry I brought this up."_

"_But have you ever considered the circumstances fifteen years back?" _al-Jilani asked._ "When humanity had just gotten out of the First Contact War, and biotic potential seemed..."_

Shepard rudely interrupted her: _"Watch it! You want to tell me having kids abused is _ever _okay? How dare you? If you fancy yourself a reporter, why don't you go investigate what happened back then and who was responsible, instead of hassling me?" _And with that the angry Spectre turned and left.

Al-Jilani turned towards the camera again. _"This was Jonathan Shepard, former Commander in the Alliance Navy before being removed for publication of classified information. It seems his interest in theory conspiracies and his fanaticism still match his battle prowess. And this was Khalisah al-Jilani, reporting from Scott, Terra Nova."_

The holo ended. On the conference table, the real Shepard pressed through clenched teeth: "That goddamn bitch!" He shook his head. "I handled that poorly. But I already had to suppress the temptation to just punch her." He made an angry flinch. Tali knew it was not just anger at how poorly he had handled the situation: There was hardly anything provoking Shepard worse than people trying to justify those atrocities.

"It was rather suboptimal," Goyle agreed. "It appears you still have to learn one or two tricks in the PR department, after all."

"We have to deal with that kind of people daily," Johnson said. "People who try to justify BAaT, people who would let the corporations get away with breaking all kinds of law, people who put this nebulous idea of 'human strength' over, well, actual humans. This is why our organization exists. You gave us an opportunity in fighting those people, and we're going to take it."

He grinned. He looked physically rather unfit, but Tali realized it was the same grin Shepard often displayed: A predator's grin. Not as open and cocky as Shepard's, more subtle and sophisticated, but still the same. And the hard light that now flashed up in his eyes was also the same as Shepard's before battles. Tali realized that in his own way, the man was just as determined to do battle as the Spectre. It was just that he fought on other battlefields with other weapons, the battlefields of political, social and economical issues.

"I assume now that I'm stealing Goyle away, you will take her job?" Shepard asked, trying to calm himself down.

"Michael is our economy wizard," Goyle explained. "Sometimes he seems to live entirely in a world of financial calculations and economical models, but it works. He understands how the corporations think. So I think he will make a fine successor to me."

"I don't think we'll be able to replace your political expertise, though," Johnson said. "But I guess where you go you'll be able to affect much more than here."

"That's an important point," Shepard agreed. "You'll be officially the Alliance's Councillor, but I hope you understand, well - I told Udina that you're better capable of making the different races work together better, but there's more to it."

"No worries, Shepard, I do understand perfectly." Goyle reassured him. "You have not chosen in vain to support me. No matter if I'm officially their Councillor or not, I will make sure the Alliance will clean up its act. If need be under Council pressure." She chuckled lightly. "This will be an interesting balancing act. Of course I won't be able to go too far, or the Alliance won't care about legitimacy anymore and simply remove me from my post, but I'll see what I can do. It will be a challenge. Though I do think that in any case, yes, I should be able to better cooperate with the other Councillors than Udina would."

"I'm glad to hear this from you," Shepard said. "And beyond the ills of the Alliance it _is_ also important to make the different races work together. What I said to al-Jilani is true: That attack on the Citadel is a sign of things to come. Sovereign was no geth ship."

"Ah, this is about your Reaper theory, correct?" Goyle asked. "I must admit, I'm not exactly fully convinced. More proof might need to be collected."

Tali's good mood vanished. She was disappointed. She could deal with people like Udina not believing what the _Normandy _crew had seen, as their view of reality was clouded by personal feelings. But Goyle had no such reason, and so far she had appeared to be a far better person than Udina and his likes. This drove her to finally chime in on the conversation: "But we have recorded everything! There is already a multitude of proof! So how can you still deny the threat?"

Goyle remained unfazed by the outburst and answered in a friendly tone: "It's not the quantity of proof which is the problem. The problematic fact is how many alternate explanations there are for your recorded material. As it is, your evidence would be strong in a normal case, but as an old human saying goes: Extraordinary claims requires _extraordinary_ proof. And your claim of repeated attacks on the galaxy which always have killed all life in it - this is a rather extraordinary claim indeed."

"But there _is _evidence for us being right, and that means the entire galaxy is at grave danger," Shepard argued.

"I understand that," Goyle said, "I'm _open_ to the possibility of a Reaper threat, at least. But even though I'll become the Alliance's Councillor and Council Chairwoman, that does not mean I can order either Alliance or Council around. _They_ most certainly _will_ apply the strictest of scrutiny to any evidence. I can promise you I will support whatever expedition or effort to gather more proof. But I cannot promise anything more than that."

Shepard smiled. "This will be enough. It's certainly more than what most officials have told me so far."

"So, you want me to oppose the Alliance, uphold Council pressure on it despite being their Councillor, and investigate what they think is a crack theory," Goyle stated and chuckled again. "I think I might enjoy this."

…...

Tali had a hard time believing her eyes. Even though she had watched how the asari had gotten gradually intoxicated, the concept was almost too weird to believe: A drunk Liara. It was not like she had drunk overly very much, but most likely in her over hundred years of life she had never drunk much at all, so the results of some glasses of asari wine imported straight from Thessia, including trace amounts of eezo, were very predictable. Tali was a bit buzzed herself from turian wine, but she at least could still control herself. Liara, on the other hand...

"Poor Goyle", she giggled. "Who would have though the turian Coun... Coun-sil-lor would be still alive? And the turians want to retain him. High comedy!"

"I'm glad at least some people survived," Shepard answered unfittingly dark.

News had been confused for days in the chaos after the battle, but by now it had become apparent that of the thousands of people on the Destiny Ascension there had been forty-two survivors - and among them was the turian Councilor. Those parts of his body not covered by his exoskeleton had heavy burns all over, and both his arms had been crushed, but that all was nothing modern galactic medicine could not fix. Most likely he would only be able to resume his post in some weeks, but he would be able to. 'Comedy' was one way to describe this. The Councillor was now seeing how humanity had installed itself as leaders of the new Council, after having left him to die. 'Tragedy in the waiting' would hence maybe be a better term to describe it.

"I agree," Tali said, "but it was quite a shock when they announced his survival. And the vid-conference to his hospital room..."

He had spoken with barely concealed venom. There was no doubt diplomatic trouble would be coming ahead for Goyle.

Other than that, the event had been really nice: A formal event given by the Alliance for the new Councillors, and all members of Shepard's squad had been invited. It was maybe a bit too highbrow for the tastes of Shepard, Ashley or Garrus, but they had grinned and born it. Liara had been a bit daunted by the mass of important people around her, but had obviously enjoyed herself. As for Tali, she usually preferred livelier, louder celebrations - but that had not prevented her from enjoying all the glamour and style of the occasion. It was not her first formal event, but nonetheless it was rare that a quarian got to be part of one.

They all had been underdressed for the occasion, some more so, some less so. Garrus could get away with what he had called a uniform for his Hierarchy citizenship rank. Like all formal turian clothing it was reminiscent of a piece of armour. And Tali herself of course could not wear formal attire anyway. She had bought some extra pieces of cloth to decorate her suit with, all of them rich in patterns as was quarian fashion. The others had had more of a problem. In the end, only Liara had seemed appropriately dressed for the event, but even her long and elegant purple and blue dress had paled in comparison to the attire of most other guests. Ashley had worn a trouser suit with some clever decoration, and Shepard even only a plain business suit. For over a decade, neither of the two had needed any civilian formal clothing, after all, they had had their dress uniforms. But now, neither was allowed to wear it, and neither would wear it even if they were.

Once she had become buzzed, Liara had found this all very funny. Tali supposed it was a good thing she was a happy drunk at least, instead of a melancholic or angry one. And even now on the way back from the event, the asari still found Shepard's attire funny. "I never knew the humans had re... re-duced vision. Lack of color per-cep-tion. That must be why you're only wearing unicolour black, grey and dark blue." _Drunk or not, Liara has a point there. Wha__t is it with humans and unicolou__r formal dress? _"I suppose you don't need more colours. You're pretty enough as is."

Tali groaned inwardly. This had been going on for some time now. When the event had run its course, Garrus had told them he wanted to finish some business at C-Sec. Ashley had accompanied him, saying that she wanted to take a tour of the Citadel while she still could. This evening nobody would dare to touch her and ruin the occasion, but her unsure legal status could make this complicated in the future. So it had fallen to Tali and Shepard to escort Liara back to the _Normandy. And Liara has been hitting on Jon all the time now! _

That already made her uncomfortable enough, but was still tolerable. She was still a bit unsure on how much she could demand of Shepard, insecure about whether their relationship could satisfy him - but on the other hand, she knew that at the very least, Shepard would not take advantage of a drunken friend. She could be very certain about _that_. _What is more problematic..._

"But look at Tali!" Liara continued, "I think you look es... e-spe-cial-ly good today Tali. All those colours, it's very ely... e-le-gant. I'm sure you're very pretty under your en-viro-suit, too"

_...is that she isn't just hitting on him! This will be an awkward day tomorrow. _

She did not quite know how to deal with it. She just ignored it as best as she could, helped Liara when she stumbled, and hoped they would reach the _Normandy_ as quickly as possible. It was not that Liara was ugly or unsympathetic, it was just _strange_. She had not been overly popular back on the Flotilla, but still, an admiral's daughter raised some attention, so there had been some veiled proposals by boys and girls. Ignoring or rejecting those had been very much easier than to deal with Liara now, though. She was a friend after all, and an an asari besides, and most importantly Tali herself was spoken for. _Not that I seem to have much problems __with aliens in that regard, but still... _Some buzzed part of her mind was in fact somewhat flattered by the attention she got. Tali shook her head and just focused on getting back to the ship.

Shepard took it all with more humour. He simply smiled, answered most of Liara's comments nonchalantly and uncommitted and helped her along the way. In fact, it all seemed to rather amuse than embarrass him. Though Tali noticed with some satisfaction that his amusement was broken for a bit and that he did flinch at Liara's 'under the envirosuit' comment. "Let's just get back to the ship. The celebration was fun, but kinda exhausting," he said.

"For me it's rather stumbling back to the ship," Liara said. "Good that I have you to catch me if I fall, Jona... Jon."

Shepard smiled again. "No worries about that, Liara, you'll get to the ship safe and intact."

_I hope the same can be said for my sanity. Monotone sounding blue bosh'tet... _Tali did not say anything, though. After all, purely rationally, she knew that Liara was not in full control of herself. It was still all very annoying, though. In the end, _somehow_, the three made their way onto the ship, and to Liara's room behind the medbay and _somehow_, Shepard and Tali managed to convince her to take a rest.

Shepard chuckled as they went to their cabin. Tali still was less amused. "Yes, I'm sure you liked the extra attention you got."

That made Shepard laugh softly. "Oh come on. It would be a bit silly if we got mutually jealous of each other."

Heat shot into Tali's face. _I suppose that's true. _And she considered it a bit foolish to get upset over this episode. In truth, it was even somewhat funny. _Maybe I could have gotten both, _she thought with humor and boldness strengthened by alcohol. But that of course was not necessary at all. So when the two entered the cab, she grabbed Shepard's hand, looked into his face and said: "True. But then, I already get all the attention I want."

Shepard smiled and raised an eyebrow. "I shall endeavour then that you'll always get enough."

He raised her hand and stroked it. There was a moment of somewhat awkward hesitation between the two. Further emboldened by the turian wine, Tali began to grow a bit annoyed at this hesitation. "I suppose we could _continue_ the celebrations..."

"I must admit I had something like that in mind," Shepard said sheepishly.

This only egged Tali on further. _The Hero of Elysium, Terra Nova, the Citadel and Ancestors know where else, the first human Spectre - and he's been at a loss for words._ It was somewhat cute, actually._ Time to take this over. _"Next time - ask." she said. _It's not like I don't want this, too... _Her suit began injecting the antibiotic and immuno-boosters it had stored. Without further notice, she released the holdings of her mask, and let it slide down into her hands. "I may just say yes."

…...

_The Terminus Systems. Once again. Last time we entered them we lost half our marines. _Ever since the _Normandy_ had left Citadel space, Tali had been a bit anxious about that fact. The Migrant Fleet of course often travelled through the Terminus, but then they were already a known sight there, and with fifty thousand ships in any case too large a target for the various pirates and bandits. A single military vessel, though, officially belonging to the Alliance and de facto under the command of the galactic hero of the hour? This of course would draw attention. And rumours about geth sightings in their region of space did not exactly make her feel any better about it.

However, Shepard was determined to find every last scratch of evidence for the Reaper threat in the galaxy. And thus the _Normandy _now was scouring potential archaeological sites all over the galaxy, no matter whether in Citadel Space or the Terminus Systems. They already had surveyed one site in the Attican Traverse, though Liara had concluded that it had deteriorated far too much over the eons to be of any further use. So, now they were entering the Terminus. More specifically, they were in FTL and about to enter the Omega Nebula, which was local nexus of Terminus mass relays. In fact, Omega Station, once a Prothean mining outpost but nowadays much more, was often called the Terminus' equivalent to the Citadel.

So far, the mood aboard was as good as Shepard or Tali could have hoped for. A new crew in line with his ideals, a task they all understood as being vital for the galaxy's very survival, a ship free to go where they pleased - and for Shepard and Tali the company of friends and of each other. Even though things had indeed been a bit awkward between them and Liara for the first few days after leaving the Citadel.

Officially, Lieutenant Commander Kalaya Sirinawin had taken over command over the ship. Of course, a Lieutenant Commander commanding what was still the Alliance Navy's most advanced ship was ridiculous, and the reason for that obviously was to keep Shepard in de facto command. Despite staying with the Alliance, Sirinawin was a glowing, outspoken supporter of Shepard's criticisms against the human government. Thus, she gladly functioned more as a First Officer, organizing the ship's and crew's daily routine, caring for logistics and supplies, and working on other minutiae so that Shepard could focus on the overall mission.

Currently, Tali was in fact standing right besides the Commander. There had again been some trouble with electronics on the bridge, and both she and Sirinawin were taking a look at it. It turned out that the human had extensive civilian and military training in electronic engineering and even as nominal commanding officer of the ship she did not hold herself above doing such work herself. Especially since the prospect of faulty electronics while going through the Terminus terrified her.

"I don't like that we'll have to come so close to Omega," the Sirinawin muttered while taking a look at a software analysis of the panel in front of her.

"That's where all the mass relays are we have to use," Tali replied. She was busy with taking a look at the hardware.

"And I don't like those reports of geth ship sightings here, either," Sirinawin continued. Tali had to admit this was indeed more troubling.

"Don't worry, Commander," Joker chimed in. "As soon as we exit FTL we'll be all ninja-like and invisible... ah, I mean, we'll engage our stealth systems immediately, ma'am."

Sirinawin's head bolted up and her face darkened. She was about to say something, but then apparently thought better of it and just sighed. "Of course, Lieutenant Moreau", she simply said. Supportive of Shepard as she was, she had far more stringent views on ship discipline than him. _However, Joker really is a lost cause. _

After some more time of work, Sirinawin stated: "The software is definitely not working as it should, but I can't find a fault. Are you sure the hardware is okay?"

"It has to be the software," Tali answered, "I can't find anything wrong with the electronics."

"I see." Sirinawin said, "It may only cause minor problems with the graphic interface, but still, I'd rather not have such problems while we're in the Terminus."

"I'm sure it will be..." Tali began, however she was interrupted.

"We're entering the target system," Joker announced. "So you can start worrying about the Terminus bad guys and geth villains... _now._" He knew how stiff Sirinawin usually was in matters of military discipline, and he also knew he enjoyed a sort of special protection. Both combined meant he really liked to provoke her. However, he continued more formally: "Disengaging FTL drives, emission sinks active. Board is green, we're running silent."

Sirinawin looked up from her work, and out into space. "Then let's hope this all works out."

Tali really thought she worried too much. "We're under stealth, and we can outrun anything we cannot outfight. I..."

Again she was interrupted, by this shift's sensor specialist, a woman whose name Tali did not remember. After all, there were many new faces on the _Normandy_. "Picking up something on the long range scanners," the woman announced. And after some pause: "Hm, looks like a cruiser in configuration. But it's big."

Sirinawin was already frantically looking up the ship's databanks while keeping an eye on the sensor readings. "It doesn't match any known signatures..."

"Cruiser is changing course," the sensor specialist announced. "Now on... on interception trajectory."

It sounded disbelieving, and that for a good reason. "Can't be, we're under stealth!" Sirinawin exclaimed. "Even the geth couldn't..."

Tali only needed a brief glimpse on the sensor readings to state: "It's not the geth."

Joker's head whirled around and looked straight ahead her. Then he announced: "Brace for evasive maneuvers!"

In a sudden move, the _Normandy _steered downwards. It was a much more abrupt move than its mass effect fields could take, so it shook up everybody inside it. And then already the next move followed, a sharp turn to the left, and then to the right, and so on.

However, the cruiser was still chasing them. It effortlessly matched every of the _Normandy's _moves, and seemed to see right through the frigate's stealth. And it fired. It emitted a gigantic and never-ending energy beam. The _Normandy_ evaded it successfully, one time, two times, three times... but then it struck.

Explosions shook the bridge and the CIC. The panel Tali and Sirinawin had looked at ignited. Instinctively, Tali let herself fall backwards, pulled her extremities in and rolled herself off. Sirinawin, however, was hit by a blast and simply fell over. The sensor specialist jumped from her chair to run to her, but was hit by the next explosion. Further screams and blasts could be heard from all over the deck.

Fires soon raged everywhere. And the energy beam was still going. Joker remained unbelievably calm in his seat, trying best as he could to get the _Normandy_ away. But there was nothing he could do. The energy beam hit again, and this time stayed on target. "Kinetic barriers are down," he announced. And moments later, inevitably: "Multiple hull breaches, weapons are offline." Without even looking, he pointed behind him. "Somebody get that fire out!"

The _Normandy_ tumbled through space, hit again and again by the enemy's deadly ray. Soon all of it was a raging, fiery inferno. Fires were everywhere, burning the air and illuminating everything in a menacing red aura. People ran around wildly and aimlessly. Some of them were screaming and some were hit by further explosions and died. It was apocalyptic.

Against all probability, both Tali and Joker survived. However, there were corpses all around them, and fires, fires everywhere. The _Normandy_, this amazing ship full of outstanding technology, the ship she had always admired and had helped to keep in shape for months now, was falling apart.

"Come on, girl," Joker muttered through clenched teeth. Tali knew he meant the _Normandy_, not her. Describing ships as female was one of those human oddities she had to come accept without even thinking about it. "We'll get you out of here. We'll rebuild you. Just hold on!"

And strange as it was, there was indeed some hope. The Normandy was battered, all of its sections had suffered damage, but she was still flying and according to the few remaining electronics on the bridge also still FTL capable. And the distance to the Cruiser grew. If they could hold out just some more minutes they would be able to enter FTL again, and the _Normandy_, this marvel of technology and what remained of its crew, these brave soldiers, could be saved.

However, of course there was no telling if they still had some minutes. Considering how much damage the Cruiser had done in _seconds_, probably not. Still, if Joker was willing to try it, so was Tali. She grabbed an extinguisher to put out at least those fires that had come closest to the pilot. Then she let it fell to the ground, and run into the CIC. The most important thing now was the drive core. If it could hold, then it could compel even a complete wreck into safety.

Tali could hardly find her way to Engineering way amidst all the smoke and red glowing everywhere. There were other people, but she could hardly see them. Some already had their space suits on, so she could not tell who was who. However, as she ran by one of them, he grabbed her by the arm. "Tali," he said tensely. Her head swirled around. It was Shepard. "Good, I already thought..." He sounded relieved, but then immediately continued in a harsh voice: "Where are you running to? Get to the lifepods, damnit!"

"No, we can't..." Tali began, but realized there was no time for arguing. Instead she continued: "Joker is still in the cockpit. He won't abandon ship. And I'm not leaving, either."

"Goddamn," Shepard cursed. "I'll haul his crippled ass down myself. Now, go! Get yourself into safety! That's an order!"

Tali nodded, dazzled. _Captain's orders. _There was of course no choice but to follow them, but she was a bit shocked how Shepard had shouted at her. _Stupid girl, he _is _the ship's cap__tain... _ However, as Shepard turned to go deeper into the burning inferno, she called out weakly: "Jon..." She was worried about him.

"We'll make it!" he reassured her while turning around again. He pointed behind her. "Now get the hell out of here!"

As if in trance, she reacted automatically. Without further thought of her own, her body seemed to move on her own. She ran to the lifepods, where Ashley was already directing people into them. "Go, go, go!" she shouted. And as she looked up: "Ah, Tali. Get in!"

She was the last person to enter the pod before Ashley herself. A further crew member came running towards the pod, so Ashley let the door open - but the crew member was hit be a further explosion which scourged her entire face. She fell to the ground screaming. The screams were soon replaced by death rattling and then silence. Part of Tali was mortified, but on a certain level she was already too shocked to register these things around her. Ashley closed the pod doors, and had it start.

As Tali took a look at the _Normandy_ from space, she could see how futile her and Joker's dreams about saving the ship had been. The ship's engines worked only erratically, the fires were already visible on the outside all over the ship, it hurled aimlessly through space and on its path it was losing parts left and right. And the entire upper deck had already been blown away. The Cruiser stayed its distance and did not attack further, but that did not matter: Its work had been done, the _Normandy _was thoroughly devastated. _And Jon's still there!_ She saw other lifepods leaving the ship, but one remained behind. One that could maybe save Joker and Shepard...

Her breathing became ragged. She was deadly afraid. Not for herself, despite the Cruiser's continued presence, but for Shepard. Of course, this had always been a possibility. Even leaving aside all the problems of their species, her immune system and her eventual need to return to the Migrant Fleet, it had always been a battle-forged relationship. The threat of one of them falling in action had always loomed over them. And knowing this made Tali's situation right now even worse. Because she _knew_ she could lose him here.

Ashley, who was sitting next to her, briefly touched her arm and said quietly: "Hey. Don't worry. He's Jonathan Shepard. He's come through worse."

The other people in the life pod politely made as if they had not heard. It was a sympathetic reaction and strangely similar to how things worked on the Migrant Fleet, where the limited privacy for everybody dictated a similar behaviour. Her and Shepard's relationship was hardly a secret aboard, not when they had shared the Captain's cabin, but it was not something really openly acknowledged, either, and everybody kept to that.

"The Cruiser!" somebody called out. "It... It's coming around for another attack."

"No," Tali whispered, mortified. "No!"

Only wreckage was left of the _Normandy_, but the deadly beam of the Cruiser hit it again. Further explosions could be seen aboard. Tali was besides herself in fear for Shepard. Already she half thought him lost.

And amazingly, even in all this chaos, this was something that he apparently took into consideration. An open radio call hit the escape pod. It was Shepard. "I got Joker. Entering the escape pod..."

As soon as she heard his voice, Tali was relieved, but then the sound of an explosion came through the radio channel. "Ugh." That was Shepard, in pain. And a moment later, Joker's voice: "Shepard... no! No!" Another explosion. And again Joker: "No, don't do this to us, Shepard. Don't... No!" And then another sound: The escape pod was launched.

And all that remained on the still open radio channel was Joker's quiet lament. Not Shepard's voice. Not a single hint of him.

He was left behind.

Tali started to scream.

000000

**And thus The First Human Spectre is concluded. However, the story of Jonathan Shepard and those around him will continue. Watch the aftermath of his death, and then watch how the events in ME 2 will enfold in a new direction. The Reapers are still out there. **


End file.
